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1
00:01:15,896 --> 00:01:18,399
You, uh, getting taller, Bob?
2
00:01:18,465 --> 00:01:20,502
As a matter of fact, I amJerry.
3
00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:23,138
I woke up this morning,
I was 6 foot 5.
4
00:01:23,203 --> 00:01:25,149
Come on, Bob.
Where's your desk?
5
00:01:25,205 --> 00:01:28,516
It's being refinished, but that does nothing
to alter the fact that I'm 6 foot 5.
6
00:01:28,575 --> 00:01:32,421
Uh, listen- Uh, Bob,
Carol's been hinting around for a raise.
7
00:01:32,479 --> 00:01:34,481
What do you mean, hinting?
8
00:01:34,548 --> 00:01:37,927
Well, yesterday she wanted
to borrow money for lunch.
9
00:01:37,984 --> 00:01:41,363
Later on she asked me
if I knew a good recipe for gruel.
10
00:01:41,421 --> 00:01:44,265
This morning she came in and said,
“Give me a raise, or I quit.”
11
00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:48,272
- That's pretty good hinting. - She's already
the highest-paid receptionist in the building.
12
00:01:48,328 --> 00:01:50,774
- I say no.
- Did you tell her that?
13
00:01:50,831 --> 00:01:52,777
No.
14
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:55,109
I told her that
she could have the raise...
15
00:01:55,168 --> 00:01:57,944
but she'd have to talk to you first.
16
00:01:58,004 --> 00:02:00,610
Jerry, why didn't you sweeten the pot
with a savings bond?
17
00:02:00,674 --> 00:02:04,121
- Never thought of that.
- All right. I'll tell her.
18
00:02:05,579 --> 00:02:07,581
Be firm, Bob. Be firm.
19
00:02:07,647 --> 00:02:11,117
You want Roquefort
or Thousand Island on this?
20
00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:14,566
I'm sorry, Bob.
21
00:02:14,621 --> 00:02:19,570
That's breakfast, that's lunch,
and that's dinner.
22
00:02:19,626 --> 00:02:21,628
Oh. Hi, guys.
23
00:02:21,695 --> 00:02:24,938
Well, uh, Carol, I did what I could.
The rest is up to you.
24
00:02:24,998 --> 00:02:27,000
- Now, about that raise-
- You know, Carol...
25
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:29,877
you may not be aware of it, but very often
when somebody wants a raise...
26
00:02:29,936 --> 00:02:31,882
they're depressed about something else.
27
00:02:31,938 --> 00:02:34,919
Like the time you fell off your diet,
and you wanted 1 O more dollars a week.
28
00:02:34,975 --> 00:02:37,649
I had to buy more food.
29
00:02:37,711 --> 00:02:40,419
When your sister got married,
you wanted $15 more a week.
30
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,825
- Had to buy a wedding present.
- Carol, I don't thinkyou need the money.
31
00:02:43,884 --> 00:02:46,125
I do, Bob. I'm self-supporting.
32
00:02:46,186 --> 00:02:48,257
I'm alone, you know.
33
00:02:49,789 --> 00:02:52,497
- It's men.
- What makes you think that, Bob?
34
00:02:52,559 --> 00:02:56,769
Just because I had another blind date last
night, and he turned out to be a real turkey?
35
00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:59,640
Carol, if you don't like blind dates,
then why do you go out on them?
36
00:02:59,699 --> 00:03:02,543
[Sighs]
I don't know, Bob.
37
00:03:02,602 --> 00:03:05,242
It's just hard to say no
to your friends, you know?
38
00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:07,512
They think they're
doing you this big favor.
39
00:03:07,574 --> 00:03:10,612
No offense, Bob, but Emily's fixed me up
about 1 O times...
40
00:03:10,677 --> 00:03:13,123
and her taste in men is the pits.
41
00:03:17,117 --> 00:03:20,121
Well, I- I can think of one exception.
42
00:03:21,221 --> 00:03:23,201
I can't.
43
00:03:23,256 --> 00:03:25,736
Carol, you'rejust gonna have
to make it clear to your friends...
44
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:28,102
that you're not gonna go out
with every Tom, Dick and Harry.
45
00:03:28,161 --> 00:03:31,631
And Steve and Bill and Bruce and Augie.
46
00:03:31,698 --> 00:03:33,200
Augie?
47
00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:37,237
Well, Bruce wouldn't go
anywhere without Augie.
48
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:41,013
Look, Carol, you'rejust gonna have
to learn to say no, even to your friends.
49
00:03:41,074 --> 00:03:43,577
Well, that's what I'm gonna do, Bob.
50
00:03:43,643 --> 00:03:46,647
I'm gonna tell 'em as far as blind dates
are concerned...
51
00:03:46,713 --> 00:03:48,852
they can just forget about Carol Kester.
52
00:03:48,915 --> 00:03:50,917
I can find my own men.
53
00:03:50,984 --> 00:03:53,692
And I don't need favors from anybody,
especially my friends.
54
00:03:53,753 --> 00:03:56,393
- Good.
- Bob, about that raise-
55
00:03:57,691 --> 00:04:02,197
Uh, no, Carol.
And, uh, I say that as a friend.
56
00:04:03,396 --> 00:04:05,342
Door Closes 1
57
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:09,871
- Hi, honey.
- Hi, dear.
58
00:04:09,936 --> 00:04:12,280
Oh, good.
You brought me a stick.
59
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:17,713
- It used to be a plant.
- Take my word for it, Bob. It's a stick.
60
00:04:17,777 --> 00:04:20,223
Emily, take this.
See what you can do with it, will you?
61
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,487
Oh. Fine.
62
00:04:23,817 --> 00:04:26,229
- I could have done that at the office.
- You should've.
63
00:04:26,286 --> 00:04:28,323
Oh, Bob, guess who called today.
64
00:04:28,388 --> 00:04:30,425
- I don't know.
- Larry Bondurant.
65
00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:33,733
- Who?
- You know,judy Bonduranfs brother.
66
00:04:33,793 --> 00:04:35,864
Who cares?
67
00:04:35,929 --> 00:04:37,909
What's for dinner?
68
00:04:37,964 --> 00:04:42,709
Bob!judy Bondurant was my best friend.
Remember?
69
00:04:42,769 --> 00:04:44,908
- No.
- Sure, you do.
70
00:04:44,971 --> 00:04:47,747
I roomed with her when I first came
to Chicago. Now you remember?
71
00:04:47,807 --> 00:04:50,617
- Nope. - We taught at the same
school- the one with all the gangs.
72
00:04:50,677 --> 00:04:53,521
The kid with the machete
threatened her life.
73
00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,457
Nope.
74
00:04:55,515 --> 00:04:59,361
Bob, she drank scotch and milk,
and drove a pink T-Bird.
75
00:05:01,087 --> 00:05:03,192
- No.
- Short hair.
76
00:05:03,256 --> 00:05:06,203
Short hair.
77
00:05:06,259 --> 00:05:08,796
OK cause. mm Bmduvam.
78
00:05:08,862 --> 00:05:10,899
Emily, I have never heard of her.
What's the point?
79
00:05:10,964 --> 00:05:15,379
- Her brother is flying into Chicago.
- Well, let's meet his plane.
80
00:05:15,435 --> 00:05:17,779
Well, anyway, he's being
transferred to Chicago...
81
00:05:17,837 --> 00:05:20,647
and he doesn't know a soul in town,
sol thought I'd fix him up with-
82
00:05:20,707 --> 00:05:22,653
- Not with Carol.
- With Carol.
83
00:05:22,709 --> 00:05:24,711
Definitely not.
I talked to her this morning.
84
00:05:24,778 --> 00:05:27,850
She is fed up with blind dates. Besides,
you don't know anything about the guy.
85
00:05:27,914 --> 00:05:30,326
I spoke to him on the phone.
He's charming, he's well-mannered.
86
00:05:30,383 --> 00:05:33,887
He has a great sense of humor,
and he is absolutely gorgeous.
87
00:05:33,953 --> 00:05:36,297
How can you tell all that
from one phone call?
88
00:05:36,356 --> 00:05:38,336
I have a good ear.
89
00:05:38,391 --> 00:05:40,997
Listen, Bob,
I think they'd make a terrific couple.
90
00:05:41,061 --> 00:05:43,905
Bob, quick- Turn on your set.
I'm on TV.
91
00:05:43,963 --> 00:05:46,637
Where's your clicker?
Where's your clicker? Where's your clicker?
92
00:05:46,699 --> 00:05:50,579
- You don't need a clickenjust turn the knob.
- Oh, yeah.
93
00:05:50,637 --> 00:05:53,880
- Where's the sound? Where's the sound?
- It takes a minute to warm up.
94
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:57,478
Oh, well, it doesn't matter.
I don't say anything anyway.
95
00:05:57,544 --> 00:06:00,821
There I am! There I am!
That's me landing at O'Hare.
96
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,952
Very nice. I like the way
the plane bounced.
97
00:06:04,017 --> 00:06:07,624
Wait till I tell you who I met on the plane.
Miss Bicentennial.
98
00:06:07,687 --> 00:06:10,531
- Wow.
- There she is! There's Miss Bicentennial.
99
00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:14,367
- Theta' s Betty Xm.
- Raw; Kw“?
100
00:06:14,427 --> 00:06:18,170
That's not her real name,
Bettyjim. Her real name is Elizabethjim.
101
00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:21,811
Howard, wh-whafs she doing?
102
00:06:21,868 --> 00:06:25,611
Oh, yeah. She's presenting
an honorary bowl of grits to the mayor.
103
00:06:25,672 --> 00:06:28,551
She's a terrific girl.
She's interested in planes.
104
00:06:28,608 --> 00:06:30,884
- Oh, really?
- You know what she said to me?
105
00:06:30,944 --> 00:06:34,448
She said, uh, “What a cute cockpit.“
106
00:06:36,749 --> 00:06:38,751
You know what else she said?
107
00:06:38,818 --> 00:06:43,563
She said, “This plane is like a movie theater
in the sky flying over the land we love.
108
00:06:43,623 --> 00:06:47,400
“L love this land and this plane...
109
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:49,406
and movie theaters.“
110
00:06:49,462 --> 00:06:51,806
[Sighs]
Wow.
111
00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:55,979
- Howard, where are you?
- Oh, that's me right there.
112
00:06:56,035 --> 00:06:58,743
That's my window.
You can see the top of my hat.
113
00:06:58,805 --> 00:07:01,979
Man On TV] That's the way it was at O'Hara
International Airport this afternoon.
114
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:04,248
Wait a minute.
This bulletin just in-
115
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:08,019
There's a possibility that life has been
discovered onjupiter. It seems-
116
00:07:08,081 --> 00:07:10,425
- [ Dial Clicks]
- Well, that's all there is of me.
117
00:07:10,483 --> 00:07:12,429
I'll, uh- I'll see you.
118
00:07:12,485 --> 00:07:15,022
- See you, Howard.
- Howard, there may be life onjupiter.
119
00:07:15,088 --> 00:07:17,932
Well, it doesn't matter.
We don't fly there anyway.
120
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,534
How about that, Bob? Huh?
There may be life onjupiter.
121
00:07:23,596 --> 00:07:27,373
- Great. You can fix Carol up with it.
_ Oh_
122
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:29,709
I really don't understand
why it bothers you...
123
00:07:29,769 --> 00:07:32,511
that I'm trying to help Carol
find somebody nice.
124
00:07:32,572 --> 00:07:36,110
Emily, any blind date you've ever arranged
has wound up disastrous.
125
00:07:36,176 --> 00:07:38,884
Bob, I think Carol would like Larry.
126
00:07:38,945 --> 00:07:41,516
Emily, why do you always
have to fix up Carol?
127
00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:44,460
Because you won't let me date.
128
00:07:44,517 --> 00:07:47,521
I wouldn't even bother calling her.
She has had it with blind dates.
129
00:07:47,587 --> 00:07:49,533
- Oh, really?
- Really.
130
00:07:49,589 --> 00:07:51,933
Well, then how come
she said yes when I asked?
131
00:07:56,629 --> 00:07:59,235
All right.
If you thinkyou're so smart...
132
00:07:59,299 --> 00:08:01,973
see if you can bring that back to life.
133
00:08:04,904 --> 00:08:08,010
I-I don't want to hold,
I've been holding for five minutes.
134
00:08:08,074 --> 00:08:11,681
My desk was supposed
to be here today.
135
00:08:11,744 --> 00:08:16,284
H a rtl ey. Hart/ey.
136
00:08:16,349 --> 00:08:18,761
As in “Peg of My Hartley.“
137
00:08:20,353 --> 00:08:23,596
No, no, no. That's “Zing!
Went the Strings of My Heart.“
138
00:08:24,857 --> 00:08:27,098
Look,just bring me my desk.
All right?
139
00:08:39,906 --> 00:08:43,285
♪♪ [ Sustained Note]
140
00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:46,017
Nice. Hartley?
141
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,855
- Uh, yes.
- Here's your organ.
142
00:08:52,085 --> 00:08:57,091
- That's- That's not my organ. - You didn't
recognize it 'cause it's been refinished.
143
00:08:57,156 --> 00:08:59,363
No, there has to be some mistake.
144
00:08:59,425 --> 00:09:03,498
- Aren't you Drjonathan Hartley?
- No. I'm Dr. Robert Hartley.
145
00:09:03,563 --> 00:09:06,476
Then this isn't
the First Methodist Church?
146
00:09:09,435 --> 00:09:12,109
- No.
- Oh, geez.
147
00:09:12,171 --> 00:09:14,583
But it says right here,
“First Methodist Church...
148
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,951
seventh floor,
Rampo Medical Arts Building.“
149
00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:19,354
Right there.
150
00:09:19,412 --> 00:09:23,121
Look, let me, um-
Let mejust take a wild guess.
151
00:09:23,182 --> 00:09:27,494
Did you deliver a desk to a big building
with a cross on the roof?
152
00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:30,992
Yeah, that was
our first call this morning.
153
00:09:31,057 --> 00:09:33,537
It's gonna be awfully quiet
in that church Sunday morning...
154
00:09:33,593 --> 00:09:37,541
unless the organist knows
how to play “Onward, Christian Desk.“
155
00:09:38,931 --> 00:09:41,070
Come on, Walt.
We'd better get this straightened out.
156
00:09:41,134 --> 00:09:45,446
- Aren't you gonna take this?
- No. We gotta talk to the dispatcher first.
157
00:09:45,505 --> 00:09:48,816
Hey, we don't move things
capriciously, you know.
158
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:51,481
Otherwise things get screwed up.
159
00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:58,326
I presume you don't want
the baptismal font either.
160
00:09:58,384 --> 00:10:00,227
No.
161
00:10:00,286 --> 00:10:02,357
Ah,jeez.
162
00:10:24,644 --> 00:10:27,648
Jfl Random Notes]
163
00:10:32,919 --> 00:10:36,196
♪♪ [ Continues]
164
00:10:46,332 --> 00:10:48,334
Bob?
165
00:10:50,136 --> 00:10:52,946
- They sent this instead of my desk.
- Oh, this is great.
166
00:10:53,005 --> 00:10:56,452
We can build a little bar around it-
you know, for happy hour.
167
00:10:56,509 --> 00:10:59,854
- Think we could?
- Get it out of here, Bob.
168
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,427
- Where's Carol?
- Emily fixed her up on a blind date last night-
169
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:07,659
It's 10:30 already, Bob. Look, there's no coffee,
no doughnuts, no sweet rolls.
170
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,132
- You call this a business office?
- [E/e vator Bell Ding; ]
171
00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:13,960
Oh, great. The organ came.
172
00:11:15,962 --> 00:11:19,637
- Carol, it's almost lunchtime. Where the heck
you been? - Picking out my wedding dress.
173
00:11:19,699 --> 00:11:22,407
You're gonna have to come up
with something better than that.
174
00:11:22,468 --> 00:11:25,472
- That's the dumbest excuse we've ever heard.
- Not if you're getting married.
175
00:11:25,538 --> 00:11:28,678
- You're not getting married.
- Then why am I picking out my wedding dress?
176
00:11:28,741 --> 00:11:31,347
Beats me. You're crazy.
177
00:11:31,411 --> 00:11:33,652
Wait a minuteJerry.
178
00:11:33,713 --> 00:11:35,852
Carol, you- you aren'tjoking, are you?
179
00:11:35,915 --> 00:11:41,160
Bob, there are two things I neverjoke about-
raises and getting married.
180
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:45,464
- Who's the guy? - Oh,jerry, he's
the most wonderful man I ever met.
181
00:11:45,525 --> 00:11:48,506
His name wouldn't by any chance be
Larry Bondurant?
182
00:11:48,561 --> 00:11:51,440
I thought it was Gary.
183
00:11:51,497 --> 00:11:53,499
- It's Larry.
- Well, I am getting married.
184
00:11:53,566 --> 00:11:56,877
- You're kidding.
- No. This Saturday at city hail.
185
00:11:56,936 --> 00:11:59,382
Of course, if I had known
you were gonna get an organ...
186
00:11:59,439 --> 00:12:01,783
we could have held the ceremony here.
187
00:12:11,451 --> 00:12:14,557
Thank you. Anyway, they say that life
onjupiter doesn't look like people.
188
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:17,897
It looks like, uh-
You know, kind of like green mold-
189
00:12:17,957 --> 00:12:19,959
the kind you'd find on cheese.
190
00:12:26,799 --> 00:12:29,473
- Hi, honey.
- Oh, hi, Bob.
191
00:12:32,638 --> 00:12:36,347
Emily, could I speak to you alone for a minute?
Howard, you don't mind, do you?
192
00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:39,982
No, no. Go ahead.
Use my apartment.
193
00:12:40,046 --> 00:12:42,822
Well, you were gonna
find out soon enough anyway.
194
00:12:42,882 --> 00:12:47,194
- About what?
- Carol's getting married Saturday.
195
00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:51,265
- Who told you?
- Carol.
196
00:12:51,324 --> 00:12:53,930
Is she really getting married?
197
00:12:53,993 --> 00:12:56,405
To a guy she met
on a blind date last night.
198
00:12:56,462 --> 00:12:59,671
Gee, I didn't get an invitation.
199
00:12:59,732 --> 00:13:02,338
Well, I introduced them.
See, I knew sooner or later...
200
00:13:02,401 --> 00:13:04,403
I'd find the right man for Carol.
201
00:13:04,470 --> 00:13:06,541
- What's he like?
- According to Carol...
202
00:13:06,606 --> 00:13:08,608
he has the most beautiful smile...
203
00:13:08,674 --> 00:13:10,881
the bluest eyes
and a dimple right here.
204
00:13:10,943 --> 00:13:15,255
[Chuckles] That is exactly the way
he sounded on the phone.
205
00:13:15,314 --> 00:13:18,557
I had a parakeet who looked like that.
206
00:13:18,618 --> 00:13:22,225
Emily, Carol isn't even
sure of the guy's name.
207
00:13:22,288 --> 00:13:26,532
Oh, honey, those things
will come in time.
208
00:13:26,592 --> 00:13:28,572
My parakeefs name was Barney.
209
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:33,467
Barney Borden.
210
00:13:34,934 --> 00:13:37,244
- Wow.
- Howard, we're not talking about parakeets.
211
00:13:37,303 --> 00:13:41,115
- We're talking about total strangers.
- Yeah. Who is this guy anyway?
212
00:13:41,173 --> 00:13:44,120
Oh, he's the brother of a friend of mine-
Judy Bondurant.
213
00:13:44,176 --> 00:13:47,646
You knowjudy, with the pink T-Bird
and the machete.
214
00:13:47,713 --> 00:13:50,319
- The one with the patch over the eye?
- No, Howard.
215
00:13:50,383 --> 00:13:54,126
Oh. I must be thinking
of a differentjudy Bondurant.
216
00:13:54,186 --> 00:13:56,860
- Do you know where this guy is?
- Yes, I do.
217
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,267
He is in Seattle
taking care of his affairs.
218
00:13:59,325 --> 00:14:02,397
Yeah, he's getting in
a couple last-minute flings.
219
00:14:03,763 --> 00:14:06,209
Emily, I wouldn't
count on this marriage coming off.
220
00:14:06,265 --> 00:14:09,405
Bob, why are you so negative?
Aren't you happy for Carol?
221
00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:11,607
Of course I am.
I just don't want to see her hurt.
222
00:14:11,671 --> 00:14:14,550
Yeah, well, I'm gonna
go out and get a present.
223
00:14:14,607 --> 00:14:17,247
Hey, I know.
I'll get 'em a parakeet.
224
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:20,689
Howard, a parakeet is not
a very good wedding present.
225
00:14:20,746 --> 00:14:23,022
- Why not?
- Well, it's not very personal.
226
00:14:23,082 --> 00:14:25,289
I'll have it engraved.
227
00:14:34,327 --> 00:14:37,035
No. I'm- Listen, I'm positive
you delivered the wrong desk.
228
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:44,507
Well, I can tell because
this one has gum under it.
229
00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:48,746
A-And somebody carved
“Gordie F. Loves Sally P.“
230
00:14:48,808 --> 00:14:51,414
No, I loved Patty V.
231
00:14:51,477 --> 00:14:55,755
And, uh, mine didn't have
a water gun in it.
232
00:14:55,815 --> 00:15:00,161
Well, I-l had a water gun, but the Fletcher
twins took it off me at recess.
233
00:15:01,754 --> 00:15:04,860
Look, I'm sure you don't
want to hear about this-
234
00:15:04,924 --> 00:15:07,427
Well, most of the kids
had gone back into school...
235
00:15:07,493 --> 00:15:10,599
and the Fletcher twins and I were
just there on the- on the-
236
00:15:10,663 --> 00:15:14,475
Look,just bring me my regular grown-up desk.
All right?
237
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:17,207
Bob, this wedding thing
tomorrow is really inconvenient.
238
00:15:17,269 --> 00:15:19,977
Do you know I've had to call off
my tennis game all because of Carol?
239
00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:22,144
She's really being selfishJerry.
240
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:26,452
Yeah. Besides that, she was supposed to come
in tomorrow and help me with the billing.
241
00:15:28,447 --> 00:15:31,428
Bob, she's not serious, is she?
Why is she doing this anyway?
242
00:15:31,484 --> 00:15:34,328
Maybe she wants to get out
of doing your billingJerry.
243
00:15:34,387 --> 00:15:37,732
She's never gonna get married.
She's already broken off two engagements.
244
00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:40,999
Well, those were different.
She knew those guys.
245
00:15:41,060 --> 00:15:44,837
Mark my words. It's only a matter of time
before this whole thing falls through.
246
00:15:44,897 --> 00:15:46,843
Knocks
247
00:15:46,899 --> 00:15:49,743
OhJerry, I didn't know you were here.
Uh, excuse me, Bob.
248
00:15:49,802 --> 00:15:53,579
Could I talk to you for a minute
on a matter of a personal nature?
249
00:15:53,639 --> 00:15:55,915
I was just leaving.
250
00:15:55,975 --> 00:16:00,355
Carol, tomorrow's gonna be a wonderful clay
for all of us. [Chuckles]
251
00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:02,415
Mark my words.
252
00:16:05,317 --> 00:16:07,319
Do you, uh, want to sit down?
253
00:16:07,386 --> 00:16:09,332
Thanks.
254
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:13,193
You don't, uh- You don't seem
very happy, Carol.
255
00:16:13,259 --> 00:16:16,433
Oh. I'll be okay, Bob.
just that nothing ever works out for me.
256
00:16:16,495 --> 00:16:18,441
I don't understand it.
257
00:16:18,497 --> 00:16:21,535
Well, you know, Carol, it's better
that, you know, you get out of it now...
258
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,944
rather than be unhappy
the rest of your life.
259
00:16:24,003 --> 00:16:25,949
What do you mean?
260
00:16:26,005 --> 00:16:28,713
Well, you don't have to be afraid
that somebodys gonna put you down...
261
00:16:28,774 --> 00:16:31,050
you know,
for canceling the wedding.
262
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:33,886
Who's canceling the wedding?
263
00:16:33,946 --> 00:16:35,948
- Well, I-l thought you said-
- No.
264
00:16:36,015 --> 00:16:40,964
My parents can't make it.
They said I cried wolf once too often.
265
00:16:41,020 --> 00:16:44,058
Oh. I- I thought the whole thing,
you know-
266
00:16:44,123 --> 00:16:47,400
Sure. Sure, Bob.
You and everybody else.
267
00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:50,669
Nobody believes
I'm finally gonna make it to the altar.
268
00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:52,732
Well, you're wrong.
269
00:16:52,798 --> 00:16:54,778
Well, I-l knew that.
270
00:16:54,834 --> 00:16:57,246
You know, I just, uh-
I just wanted you to be...
271
00:16:57,303 --> 00:16:59,249
absolutely sure, Carol, that this-
272
00:16:59,305 --> 00:17:01,615
Oh, Bob.
273
00:17:01,674 --> 00:17:06,145
Come on.jeez, I thought if anybody
would be on my side, it'd be you.
274
00:17:06,212 --> 00:17:08,158
Well, I-l am on your side, Carol.
275
00:17:08,214 --> 00:17:10,956
Ifsjust-l guess I'm being a little,
you know, overprotective.
276
00:17:11,016 --> 00:17:13,929
I just- I just want you to be happy.
277
00:17:13,986 --> 00:17:15,863
I know.
278
00:17:15,921 --> 00:17:18,299
I think a lot of you, Carol.
279
00:17:18,357 --> 00:17:20,803
I think a lot of you, Bob.
280
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:23,534
And that's why,
now that my father can't make it...
281
00:17:23,596 --> 00:17:25,633
I wondered if you'd give me away.
282
00:17:29,602 --> 00:17:33,379
Well, gee, I-You know, I-
I don't know what to say. You know, I'm-
283
00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:37,444
-I mean, I'm- I'm honored.
- Oh. Thank you, Bob.
284
00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:41,890
I mean, that- that-
You know, that's really nice of you, Carol.
285
00:17:41,947 --> 00:17:44,052
What- You know,
what do I have to do?
286
00:17:44,116 --> 00:17:47,529
Oh. Well, you know the part where the judge
asks if there's any objections?
287
00:17:47,586 --> 00:17:51,557
- Yeah.
- lfanybody opens their mouth, you deck 'em.
288
00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:06,975
Bob, what time is it?
289
00:18:07,039 --> 00:18:09,485
Carol, it's still only
1 O minutes after 2:00.
290
00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,853
Well, that's it. At least we got a chance
to get all dressed up.
291
00:18:12,912 --> 00:18:15,984
Oh, honey, he probably just got stuck
in traffic coming in from the airport.
292
00:18:16,048 --> 00:18:18,050
His plane landed three hours ago.
293
00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:21,587
Don't worry about it, Carol.
He's going to be here.
294
00:18:21,654 --> 00:18:24,533
[Whispers] Two-to-one
he doesn't show, Bob.
295
00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:27,196
Hi, everybody.
Well, do I get to kiss the bride?
296
00:18:27,259 --> 00:18:29,261
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
297
00:18:29,328 --> 00:18:33,003
- I'm not the bride yet, Howard.
- Ah, but you will be any minute, Carol.
298
00:18:33,065 --> 00:18:35,773
Make that 4-to-1.
299
00:18:35,835 --> 00:18:39,112
Well, I feel kind of silly dressed like this-
you know, out of uniform.
300
00:18:41,273 --> 00:18:44,277
- You'll look nice on the cake, Howard.
- [Chuckles]
301
00:18:44,343 --> 00:18:46,345
Howard, what's in the bag?
302
00:18:46,412 --> 00:18:49,655
Well, I thought somebody should bring
the rice to throw at the bride.
303
00:18:49,715 --> 00:18:51,786
Oh, Howard, that's so sweet.
304
00:18:51,851 --> 00:18:55,458
Yeah, well, I, uh, couldn't get rice,
sol got tapioca.
305
00:18:56,689 --> 00:18:58,691
Uh, what time is it, Bob?
306
00:18:58,757 --> 00:19:03,172
- Carol, it's 2:1 I. Now relax.
- I'm relaxed. You're looking at a relaxed person.
307
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:07,268
- Well, uh, maybe he missed his flight.
- I think I'm gonna throw up.
308
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:09,472
Carol, let's go over there and sit down.
Come on.
309
00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:12,243
- Let's take the dress back.
- No, no.
310
00:19:13,973 --> 00:19:15,919
Think he, uh-
Think he missed his flight?
311
00:19:15,975 --> 00:19:19,081
I doubt it, Howard.
He's a travel agent.
312
00:19:20,679 --> 00:19:23,592
I wish I were a travel agent.
Get free flights.
313
00:19:25,017 --> 00:19:28,089
Howard, you work for an airline.
You fly for free anyway.
314
00:19:28,153 --> 00:19:30,429
Oh, yeah.
315
00:19:31,957 --> 00:19:35,700
Think there's somewhere
around here I could change my clothes?
316
00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:38,298
- What for?
- Ah. My tennis shorts are riding up on me.
317
00:19:38,364 --> 00:19:40,366
I figured this guy wouldn't show up.
318
00:19:40,432 --> 00:19:42,434
I could get a couple of sets in.
319
00:19:42,501 --> 00:19:45,243
- Have you boys seen my fiancée?
- Are you getting married?
320
00:19:45,304 --> 00:19:48,581
Yep. Seventh time.
The other six are six feet under.
321
00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:51,645
That's 36 feet.
322
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:53,781
You a bandleader?
323
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,354
- I'm a navigator.
- I thought so. What band?
324
00:20:00,552 --> 00:20:02,532
Ah. Here's Lila now.
325
00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:07,461
This one may bury me.
326
00:20:08,594 --> 00:20:11,097
Bob, why isn't he here?
327
00:20:11,163 --> 00:20:14,110
Honey, you have the judge
from 2:00 until 2:15.
328
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:17,579
- Yeah, we- we have- we have lots of time.
- What time is it?
329
00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:19,980
- 2:14.
- Oh, boy.
330
00:20:22,474 --> 00:20:25,318
Fmjudge Tanner.
Where's the Bondurant-Kester party?
331
00:20:25,377 --> 00:20:29,018
Well, it's at my apartment after the wedding,
but I don't remember inviting you.
332
00:20:33,819 --> 00:20:36,197
The, uh- The groom's a little late.
333
00:20:36,255 --> 00:20:38,792
Ah, honey, I'm sure he'll be right here.
334
00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:41,861
Well, I can give you a couple of minutes,
but we're reallyjammed up.
335
00:20:41,927 --> 00:20:44,567
I've got to keep to my schedule.
336
00:20:46,165 --> 00:20:49,374
Bob, if he's coming,
I gotta get more franks.
337
00:20:49,435 --> 00:20:51,915
He can have mine, Howard.
338
00:20:51,971 --> 00:20:54,383
Let's get out of here,
We can play some doubles. What do you say?
339
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,386
NoJefW-
340
00:20:56,442 --> 00:20:58,615
[Sighs]
So tell me, Carol-
341
00:20:58,677 --> 00:21:00,679
What are your
plans for your honeymoon?
342
00:21:00,746 --> 00:21:04,853
Oh, well, we got a discount trip tojapan-
through the travel agency, you know?
343
00:21:04,917 --> 00:21:10,390
And we'll be seeing the temples
and the Kabuki theater and the Sony factory.
344
00:21:10,456 --> 00:21:13,027
Great. You can have fun
doing that all by yourself.
345
00:21:13,092 --> 00:21:16,733
I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to go ahead
with the next wedding.
346
00:21:16,795 --> 00:21:20,902
If the groom shows up-l mean, when the groom
shows up-you can arrange another time.
347
00:21:20,966 --> 00:21:23,378
- We have something available next Tuesday.
- C ou/dn 1:' we just-
348
00:21:23,435 --> 00:21:25,915
- I'm sorry. Who's next?
- We are.
349
00:21:25,971 --> 00:21:29,145
- Well, let's go. I don't have forever.
- f don 1:' exit/vex:
350
00:21:32,277 --> 00:21:35,918
- Well, that's it, folks.
- Maybe something happened to him.
351
00:21:35,981 --> 00:21:38,018
Yeah. He changed his mind.
352
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:40,689
Look, Carol, there are a lot more fish
in the ocean, you know.
353
00:21:40,753 --> 00:21:44,360
[Chuckles] That's right, Bob.
Who needs him anyway?
354
00:21:44,423 --> 00:21:48,303
- Me.
- Ah, come on, Carol. You still got me.
355
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,772
Want to go play some tennis?
356
00:21:50,829 --> 00:21:53,776
- I'm not dressed for it,jer.
- I am.
357
00:21:57,836 --> 00:21:59,838
[Sighs]
358
00:22:04,443 --> 00:22:06,445
Carol?
359
00:22:07,613 --> 00:22:09,615
This is him.
360
00:22:11,383 --> 00:22:13,556
This-This is him. Oh-
361
00:22:13,619 --> 00:22:16,395
- Bob, go get the judge.
- Oh. Oh.
362
00:22:16,455 --> 00:22:19,493
Gee, I'm sorry I'm late.
Can you believe it?
363
00:22:19,558 --> 00:22:22,232
Me, a travel agent-
I made out my ticket wrong.
364
00:22:22,294 --> 00:22:24,240
Ended up in Cincinnati.
365
00:22:24,296 --> 00:22:27,004
Boy, I guess I was really nervous.
366
00:22:27,066 --> 00:22:29,979
I'm getting married,you know.
Whew!
367
00:22:30,035 --> 00:22:32,037
I thought maybe
you'd changed your mind.
368
00:22:32,104 --> 00:22:36,746
Are you kidding? You're the greatest thing
that's ever happened to me.
369
00:22:38,744 --> 00:22:41,588
Hi. I'm Howard Borden, and I heard
about you and your sister-
370
00:22:41,647 --> 00:22:43,991
No. Howard. Not now.
371
00:22:44,049 --> 00:22:46,325
- Hi. I'm Emily. I'm the one that's-
- Not now, Emily.
372
00:22:48,353 --> 00:22:50,993
Uh, he says he can do it,
but we have to do it fast.
373
00:22:51,056 --> 00:22:54,594
The other couple's ready,
so we're gonna have to do it out here.
374
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:56,731
Which one is the couple?
375
00:22:59,164 --> 00:23:02,941
- Well, guess.
- Oh, yes. Champing at the bit.
376
00:23:04,603 --> 00:23:07,209
- Are we ready?
- 0h, I can't believe it'; really happening.
377
00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:09,218
[Chuckles]
378
00:23:09,274 --> 00:23:11,550
“Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here to,“ um-
379
00:23:11,610 --> 00:23:14,284
“state of matrimony“-
380
00:23:14,346 --> 00:23:17,816
- “put asunder“-
. Um_
381
00:23:17,883 --> 00:23:20,557
What happened to the part
about the objections?
382
00:23:20,619 --> 00:23:23,395
We don't have time
for objections.
383
00:23:23,455 --> 00:23:25,731
Good. I wouldn't want
to have to deck somebody.
384
00:23:27,226 --> 00:23:29,172
Okay, let's get to the meat.
385
00:23:29,228 --> 00:23:32,471
Top of page 55. “Do you, Gary"-
386
00:23:32,531 --> 00:23:34,807
. Ba FW-
. La FW-
387
00:23:34,867 --> 00:23:37,677
“Your lawfully wedded wife to live together
in a state of matrimony?
388
00:23:37,736 --> 00:23:40,307
Will you love, honor and keep her
as long as you're both living?“
389
00:23:40,372 --> 00:23:43,376
- I will.
- “Do you, Carol, take this man as your husband...
390
00:23:43,442 --> 00:23:45,513
“to live together
in a state of matrimony?
391
00:23:45,577 --> 00:23:47,318
Will you love, honor and keep"-
[indistinct]
392
00:23:47,379 --> 00:23:49,757
- I will.
- Ring, please.
393
00:23:49,815 --> 00:23:51,817
Oh, my God.
394
00:23:51,884 --> 00:23:54,421
L, uh-l left it in Cincinnati.
395
00:23:54,486 --> 00:23:56,432
Get it later. “By virtue
of the power vested in me...
396
00:23:56,488 --> 00:23:58,263
“I pronounce you husband and wife.
397
00:23:58,323 --> 00:24:00,394
You may kiss the bride.“
Pay the cashier on the way out.
398
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:28,795
- They're married.
- Thanks very much.
399
00:24:28,854 --> 00:24:31,061
Emily, I think
this worked out real great-
400
00:24:31,123 --> 00:24:33,399
- Yeah.
- but you have to promise...
401
00:24:33,458 --> 00:24:35,995
you're never gonna fix up
any more of our friends.
402
00:24:36,061 --> 00:24:39,065
- And if I do?
- I'm gonna have to deck you.
403
00:25:27,679 --> 00:25:28,987
[ Mews]
34378
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