All language subtitles for The Bob Newhart Show s03e21 - The New Look

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,026 --> 00:00:42,802 Boy, you really know antiques. You know, you're incredible? 2 00:00:42,863 --> 00:00:45,969 - Yes, I am. - That's some buy we got on that clock. 3 00:00:46,032 --> 00:00:48,034 Okay, Bob, Watch it. Don't scratch it. 4 00:00:48,101 --> 00:00:51,412 Watch it. Watch it. Don't scratch it. In it goes. In a little farther. 5 00:00:51,471 --> 00:00:53,678 In a little farther. Watch it. Hold it. Wait, wait, wait. 6 00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:57,119 Right, right there. Watch it. Uh, will you watch that dolly too, Bob? 7 00:00:57,177 --> 00:01:00,647 I rented that in my name. 8 00:01:00,714 --> 00:01:02,955 So I'd like to take it easy. I like to return things the way I got them. 9 00:01:03,016 --> 00:01:05,553 - Howard? - I'm a very responsible person. 10 00:01:05,619 --> 00:01:07,724 - Howard? - I like to take care of my things. 11 00:01:07,788 --> 00:01:10,735 - Howard? - I have albums that are 12 years old... 12 00:01:10,791 --> 00:01:12,998 and they don't have scratches on them. 13 00:01:13,059 --> 00:01:15,733 Howard, can we talk about your record collection later? 14 00:01:15,796 --> 00:01:18,037 Oh, yeah, right. Uh, when would you like to talk about it? 15 00:01:18,098 --> 00:01:19,600 Later! 16 00:01:19,666 --> 00:01:21,942 Oh, Bob, that is really beautiful. 17 00:01:22,002 --> 00:01:24,004 What could be better than a grandfather clock? 18 00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:27,279 A grandfather watch. 19 00:01:27,340 --> 00:01:29,547 Well, where you gonna put it? 20 00:01:29,609 --> 00:01:31,919 Well, I thought we'd put it by the bedroom door. 21 00:01:31,978 --> 00:01:34,356 - Oh, yeah, yeah. It'd look nice there. - Yeah. 22 00:01:35,615 --> 00:01:37,561 No, no, no, it won't fit there. 23 00:01:37,617 --> 00:01:39,790 - Oh, it won't? - No, uh-uh. Oh, how about over there? 24 00:01:39,853 --> 00:01:41,799 It'll be out of the way, but it's still prominent. 25 00:01:41,855 --> 00:01:44,199 Emily] Yeah, that's okay. 26 00:01:44,257 --> 00:01:46,533 No, no, no, that's not good either,. 27 00:01:46,593 --> 00:01:50,564 - Well, then where else can we put it? - How about down? 28 00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:53,201 I'm sorry, honey. just put it over there for now. 29 00:01:53,266 --> 00:01:55,439 I'll give you a hand. Here. 30 00:01:55,502 --> 00:01:57,539 Thank you, Howard. 31 00:01:57,604 --> 00:02:00,210 Okay. 32 00:02:00,273 --> 00:02:03,015 One, two, three! 33 00:02:06,046 --> 00:02:09,425 We're, uh- We're a great team, Howard. You know that? 34 00:02:11,184 --> 00:02:14,290 You know, Bob, I really think it would look better by the bedroom door. 35 00:02:14,354 --> 00:02:16,891 Tough. 36 00:02:16,957 --> 00:02:19,062 Well, I guess we can leave it there for now. 37 00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:21,071 The whole room's gonna change anyhow. 38 00:02:21,127 --> 00:02:23,505 - The whole room? Wow. - [Emily] Uh-huh. 39 00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:25,634 What's it gonna look like? 40 00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:27,701 Well, we're gonna have new drapes and new carpet. 41 00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:30,247 We're gonna enlarge that doorway. We're getting rid of the bookshelves. 42 00:02:30,303 --> 00:02:32,249 And we're gonna get all new furniture. 43 00:02:32,305 --> 00:02:34,148 I know howl can save you a couple of bucks. 44 00:02:34,207 --> 00:02:36,153 You can get some of that new fun plastic furniture. 45 00:02:36,209 --> 00:02:40,316 Uh, this pilot friend of mine has a couch that looks like a banana... 46 00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:44,920 and a chair that looks like a strawberry and an ottoman that looks like a tangerine. 47 00:02:44,985 --> 00:02:47,693 Let's get it. That way you can sit on the fruit of your choice. 48 00:02:50,624 --> 00:02:53,332 Howard, we're going for a look that's warm and eclectic. 49 00:02:53,393 --> 00:02:55,873 Electric? Oh, that's great! I love electric furniture. 50 00:02:55,929 --> 00:02:59,433 We can have races. 51 00:02:59,499 --> 00:03:02,309 Eclectic is a mixture of new and old, but we're going mostly old. 52 00:03:02,369 --> 00:03:05,839 - You know, mainly antiques. - But we can still have races, Howard. 53 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:09,613 10:00 tomorrow morning, and don't be late. 54 00:03:09,676 --> 00:03:13,385 - The best stuff goes first at those estate sales. - Okay. 55 00:03:13,446 --> 00:03:15,722 Uh, look, since you're getting new furniture... 56 00:03:15,782 --> 00:03:18,695 I could take some of your old stuff off your hands. 57 00:03:18,752 --> 00:03:21,528 - What do you mean, take? - Well, you know... 58 00:03:21,588 --> 00:03:26,128 stuff you don't need, like, uh, table and sofa... 59 00:03:26,192 --> 00:03:28,297 and canned goods. 60 00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:32,138 Well, there's a half empty bottle of root beer in the refrigerator. 61 00:03:32,198 --> 00:03:34,405 - Oh, is the bottle refundable? - No. 62 00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:36,413 Oh, well, then I don't want it. 63 00:03:37,404 --> 00:03:39,350 Bye, H owa rd. 64 00:03:42,409 --> 00:03:44,355 It's not ticking. 65 00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:46,357 “Emiiy ma - I w/u/vy 2 66 00:03:46,413 --> 00:03:48,359 Yeah. 67 00:03:54,854 --> 00:03:57,095 College graduate. 68 00:03:57,157 --> 00:03:59,103 Let's set it, Bob. What time is it? 69 00:03:59,159 --> 00:04:01,298 Uh,just about 5:00. 70 00:04:01,361 --> 00:04:04,274 Okay. All right. 71 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:08,473 [Chiming] 72 00:04:08,535 --> 00:04:11,311 Oh, Bob, isn't that beautiful? 73 00:04:11,371 --> 00:04:16,445 [Clunking] 74 00:04:21,047 --> 00:04:24,051 Well, no wonder it was so heavy. There's a dead body in there. 75 00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:31,693 Well, you know, I don't know. 76 00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:35,137 I don't know, Dr. Hartley. I really like working for that company... 77 00:04:35,195 --> 00:04:38,438 but how can they send me to a hellhole like that? 78 00:04:38,498 --> 00:04:40,637 Well, where do they wanna transfer you? 79 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,646 Hawaii. 80 00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:46,150 It's where the home office is. 81 00:04:46,206 --> 00:04:50,586 Well, that makes sense. I mean, it is a coconut company. 82 00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:52,680 And we're branching out into novelty items. 83 00:04:52,746 --> 00:04:55,420 You know, carving animals out of coconut shells. 84 00:04:55,482 --> 00:04:58,463 They want me to head up the monkey division. 85 00:04:58,518 --> 00:05:01,294 Well, that sounds like a good opportunity. 86 00:05:01,354 --> 00:05:05,097 Uh, I'm not sure Hawaii is exactly the hellholeyou think it is. 87 00:05:05,158 --> 00:05:07,764 I'm really gonna miss Chicago, you know? 88 00:05:07,827 --> 00:05:11,331 The wind, the sleet... 89 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,344 the slush... 90 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,074 the smell of the stockyards. 91 00:05:16,136 --> 00:05:18,946 Mr. Herd, the stockyards are gone. 92 00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:21,281 Then what is that smell? 93 00:05:24,477 --> 00:05:26,423 I don't know. 94 00:05:26,479 --> 00:05:30,689 Well, uh, whatever it is, I'm gonna miss it. 95 00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:34,323 I'm afraid our time is up, Mr. Herd. Uh, you know, I envy you though. 96 00:05:34,387 --> 00:05:37,925 I mean, tomorrow I have to leave for a psychologists' seminar in Winnipeg... 97 00:05:37,991 --> 00:05:39,937 and it's supposed to be 12 below zero. 98 00:05:39,993 --> 00:05:42,473 Oh, 12 below zero. Beautiful. 99 00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:45,476 That's coconut-freezing weather. 100 00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:50,207 I guess you're off to the land of swaying palms, huh, Mr. Herd? 101 00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:53,149 - Don't rub it in, Carol. - [E/e vator Ding; ] 102 00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:56,312 Oh, hi, Mr. Herd. Boy, it is freezing out there. 103 00:05:56,376 --> 00:05:59,186 - The wind cuts through you like a knife. - Yeah, isn't it wonderful? 104 00:06:02,649 --> 00:06:06,096 Bob, I'm glad I caught you. I need your opinion about some things for the apartment. 105 00:06:06,152 --> 00:06:09,065 Well, Emily, anything you pick out will bejustfine. 106 00:06:09,122 --> 00:06:11,068 Oh, honey, I want you to see it first. 107 00:06:11,124 --> 00:06:13,832 Well, I'm sure whateveryou pick out will bejust perfect. 108 00:06:13,893 --> 00:06:17,500 Oh, no, I want you to help me make some decisions. Could you look at some samples? 109 00:06:17,564 --> 00:06:20,602 Oh, I love redecorating. Especially when it's someone else's money. 110 00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:23,671 Uh, now this is for wallpaper for the kitchen. 111 00:06:23,736 --> 00:06:26,273 - What do you think of that one? - Fine. 112 00:06:26,339 --> 00:06:27,784 - Or that? - Fine. 113 00:06:27,841 --> 00:06:30,845 - Or that? - Fine. 114 00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:32,912 Gee, I thought they were all too busy. 115 00:06:32,979 --> 00:06:35,585 Well, so am I, Emily. I'm just gonna leave it to you. 116 00:06:35,648 --> 00:06:37,594 - [ Phone Ringing] - You're bailing out? 117 00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:39,652 - I'm not bailing out. I'm really very busy. - Dr. Hartleys office. 118 00:06:39,719 --> 00:06:41,699 - Wait. - Uh,just a minute. 119 00:06:41,754 --> 00:06:45,099 Bob, it's the service station. They just wanna know if you want your oil changed. 120 00:06:45,158 --> 00:06:49,004 Oh, gee, I better talk to them about that. 121 00:06:49,062 --> 00:06:51,440 Uh, I'll take it in here. 122 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:55,173 - You are bailing out. - Hi, Emily. 123 00:06:55,235 --> 00:06:57,476 - Oh, hLJer. Excuse me. - Excuse me. 124 00:06:57,537 --> 00:06:59,778 Carol, is this my mail underneath all this debris? 125 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:02,547 - I'll bring it in in a minute,jer. - First things first. 126 00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:05,089 You know, forget about business. You've got paint chips to look at. 127 00:07:05,145 --> 00:07:07,455 Well, goshJer, I should have thought of that this morning... 128 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:10,723 before I picked up your laundry, called your mother to cancel dinner... 129 00:07:10,783 --> 00:07:12,820 sent flowers to the hospital for your aunt... 130 00:07:12,886 --> 00:07:14,957 and picked up the tickets for the hockey game. 131 00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:17,558 [Clears Throat] Well, that was before 9:00. 132 00:07:17,624 --> 00:07:20,298 I mean, what you do on your time is your business. 133 00:07:21,861 --> 00:07:24,671 Well, this is not Carol's stuff, so don't blame her. 134 00:07:24,731 --> 00:07:28,804 But by the wayJerry, what would you say about this carpet sample? 135 00:07:28,868 --> 00:07:31,542 I'd say, uh, “We're Mr. and Mrs. Smith... 136 00:07:31,604 --> 00:07:33,550 and we just need the room for two or three hours.“ 137 00:07:33,606 --> 00:07:36,610 - [Clicks Tongue] - Uh-huh. Uh, well, what about the olive? 138 00:07:36,676 --> 00:07:39,054 Oh, that's great, for a barracks. 139 00:07:39,112 --> 00:07:42,093 Why don't you go drill somebody? 140 00:07:42,148 --> 00:07:44,094 I'm not trying to be negative here. 141 00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:46,289 It's just that all the stuff you showed me so far stinks. 142 00:07:46,352 --> 00:07:49,026 - Nothing negative about that. - Thanks for your help,jer. 143 00:07:49,088 --> 00:07:52,399 - Anytime. - Listen, Carol, I want you to look at this magazine. 144 00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,836 You see, there are pictures of famous people's houses. 145 00:07:54,894 --> 00:07:56,840 You know, to get the feel of what I'm going after. 146 00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:59,069 See, this is Harry Belafonte's living room. 147 00:07:59,132 --> 00:08:02,841 Oh, Emily, that's wonderful. Oh, slipcovers open to the navel. 148 00:08:02,902 --> 00:08:05,280 [Both Laughing] 149 00:08:05,338 --> 00:08:07,511 You're not finished yet. 150 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,680 - Did you decide on the oil? - Yeah, I decided on the oil. 151 00:08:10,743 --> 00:08:14,953 Now I have to decide whether I want to pop for the oil filter. 152 00:08:18,218 --> 00:08:22,166 I really wish Bob wouldn't duck this. I shouldn't have to make these decisions. 153 00:08:22,222 --> 00:08:24,532 I'll get him out here. 154 00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:28,903 Emily, I'm really glad you decided on the imported fabric. 155 00:08:28,962 --> 00:08:31,499 Believe me, it's worth the extra $2,000. 156 00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:40,440 - Too late to get in on this? - You finished? 157 00:08:40,506 --> 00:08:42,952 Yeah, I didn't want to pop for the oil filter. 158 00:08:43,009 --> 00:08:45,853 We can't afford it. 159 00:08:49,082 --> 00:08:52,222 Oh, Bob is gonna be so surprised when he comes back from Winnipeg. 160 00:08:52,285 --> 00:08:54,231 When he left, just the carpet was down. 161 00:08:54,287 --> 00:08:56,289 They hadn't even started construction on the doorway. 162 00:08:57,657 --> 00:09:00,001 - I love it! I really love it! -You do? 163 00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:03,802 Yeah,your old dining room table looks great in my place. 164 00:09:03,863 --> 00:09:06,002 What do you think about this table? 165 00:09:06,065 --> 00:09:08,875 Oh, you mean, your new old table. 166 00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:13,042 That's nice, but not as nice as your old old table, that was yours, that's mine. 167 00:09:13,106 --> 00:09:15,279 Well, Howard, that's very nice of you to say. 168 00:09:15,341 --> 00:09:17,753 That was very hard for him to say. 169 00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:21,587 - But I meant it. - Oh, Howard, I changed my mind about that suede chair. 170 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,594 So, if you still wanna buy it, it's for sale. 171 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:27,063 Oh, wow! 172 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,066 I didn't think Bob would let it go. 173 00:09:29,122 --> 00:09:32,433 Well, uh, he doesn't want to, but it doesn't fit in anywhere. 174 00:09:32,492 --> 00:09:37,737 Oh, well, I couldn't take a man's favorite chair. 175 00:09:37,797 --> 00:09:39,936 Could I? 176 00:09:39,999 --> 00:09:41,910 Why not? You've taken everything else. 177 00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:45,347 Well, I, uh, wouldn't feel right. 178 00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:49,249 - How much? - $75. 179 00:09:49,309 --> 00:09:51,949 Do I get to keep everything that's underneath the cushion? 180 00:09:52,011 --> 00:09:55,356 - Yegyou do. - Well, then it's a deal. 181 00:09:55,415 --> 00:09:58,362 I'll be right back. I'm gonna get my checkbook. 182 00:09:58,418 --> 00:10:01,126 Uh, Ellen, would you bring the chair, please? 183 00:10:02,488 --> 00:10:04,832 Right, Howard. 184 00:10:04,891 --> 00:10:08,896 - Ellen, did you know Howard was such a- - Scrounge? 185 00:10:10,229 --> 00:10:13,073 Hi, honey, I'm- 186 00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:16,204 Holy smoke. 187 00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:18,476 Hi, dear. Well, what do you think? 188 00:10:20,173 --> 00:10:23,950 Uh, let me take your coat. 189 00:10:25,278 --> 00:10:28,521 just, uh-just put your suitcase down. 190 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,663 Come on in, and, you know, take your time. 191 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:36,166 Take a good look. Let it all sink in. 192 00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:41,431 Uh, how was the convention? 193 00:10:41,494 --> 00:10:43,701 Holy smoke. 194 00:10:45,531 --> 00:10:48,375 Uh,well? 195 00:10:48,434 --> 00:10:50,971 Uh, the convention was fine. 196 00:10:51,037 --> 00:10:54,507 Oh, well, well, uh- 197 00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:57,282 Okay, uh, how about it? 198 00:10:59,946 --> 00:11:01,948 Oh, hi. Hi, Ellen. 199 00:11:03,015 --> 00:11:04,858 Hi, Bob. You want a drink? 200 00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:07,227 Yeah. 201 00:11:07,286 --> 00:11:09,527 A drink would be good. 202 00:11:09,589 --> 00:11:12,536 Well, come on, Bob. 203 00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:16,665 - Holy smoke. - Bob, is that good or bad? 204 00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:20,973 Uh,just, uh- just let me sit down... 205 00:11:21,033 --> 00:11:23,377 and just get my bearings. 206 00:11:24,871 --> 00:11:27,681 Hi, Bob. Welcome home. It's good to have you back again. 207 00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:31,244 Ah, don't sit in that chair. That's mine. 208 00:11:34,013 --> 00:11:37,017 - Yours? - Yeah. Here's your check for $75. 209 00:11:37,083 --> 00:11:40,155 $75. You sold him my favorite chair for $75? 210 00:11:40,219 --> 00:11:42,358 Yeah, that includes the tax and the ottoman. 211 00:11:42,422 --> 00:11:46,302 Emily, I love that chair. I've had a lot of good times in it. 212 00:11:46,359 --> 00:11:50,330 I know, honey, but it just doesn't fit in with the decor. 213 00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:54,469 Emily, I had that chair before I had you. 214 00:11:54,534 --> 00:11:57,481 Well, I think maybe we'll just come back a little later. 215 00:11:57,537 --> 00:12:00,848 We'll let you two enjoy your new apartment by yourselves. 216 00:12:00,907 --> 00:12:04,582 I can pick up the chair anytime. Remember, anything you find underneath the cushion is mine. 217 00:12:04,644 --> 00:12:06,681 - Come on, Howard. - That was the deal. 218 00:12:10,183 --> 00:12:13,562 Uh, look, Bob. I know it's all a shock, you know. 219 00:12:13,619 --> 00:12:18,034 I mean, all the furniture is new and the construction is done. 220 00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:22,300 And, I mean, new carpet, new drapes. New this, new that. 221 00:12:23,763 --> 00:12:25,709 Go ahead, honey. Sit in it. 222 00:12:25,765 --> 00:12:29,508 It's a copy of a Louis XV, and it's upholstered in satin. 223 00:12:42,982 --> 00:12:44,928 Uh, how is it? 224 00:12:44,984 --> 00:12:48,898 It'll be fine when I buy some nonskid pants. 225 00:12:50,122 --> 00:12:52,295 Honey, did you see the stuff on the wall? 226 00:12:52,358 --> 00:12:54,634 It took Ellen two days to find that ox-yoke. 227 00:12:54,694 --> 00:12:57,436 She got lucky, huh? 228 00:12:57,497 --> 00:13:01,274 You know, I think it all worked out beautifully, Bob. I just love the colors. 229 00:13:01,334 --> 00:13:03,644 Oh, uh, honey, this is a campaign bed. 230 00:13:03,703 --> 00:13:07,048 I think there are only three in all of Chicago. 231 00:13:07,106 --> 00:13:09,677 - And we got one of'em. - Yeah. 232 00:13:11,711 --> 00:13:13,748 Well, uh- 233 00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:18,928 just sit back and relax. 234 00:13:28,528 --> 00:13:30,474 What, um- 235 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:35,311 What- What campaign was it in? 236 00:13:38,104 --> 00:13:42,109 Bob, it's just a new way of sitting. Youjust have to get used to it. 237 00:13:46,746 --> 00:13:49,727 Just starting to get the- 238 00:13:49,782 --> 00:13:52,956 - get the hang of the old way. - What way was that? 239 00:13:53,019 --> 00:13:56,796 The way where your feet go all the way to the floor. 240 00:13:56,856 --> 00:13:58,858 Oh, I see. 241 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:04,432 But I guess comfort isn't the be-all and end-all. 242 00:14:04,497 --> 00:14:08,377 Bob, I happen to be very comfortable. 243 00:14:08,434 --> 00:14:11,711 Well, I'm glad somebody is. 244 00:14:11,771 --> 00:14:14,149 You hate the whole apartment, don't you? 245 00:14:14,206 --> 00:14:16,482 [Sighs] Emily- 246 00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:22,825 “Hate“ is a very strong word. 247 00:14:22,882 --> 00:14:28,833 You use “hate“ to describe your thoughts about Hitler. 248 00:14:28,888 --> 00:14:32,495 I mean, this isn't as bad as Hitler. 249 00:14:32,558 --> 00:14:37,371 This is more like, uh, Mussolini. 250 00:14:38,497 --> 00:14:41,034 Bob, I rushed all over Chicago for weeks... 251 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:44,047 trying to make this a place we both could be proud of. 252 00:14:45,204 --> 00:14:48,447 I don't know, Emily. I guess it's just the- 253 00:14:48,507 --> 00:14:50,453 the furniture. 254 00:14:52,878 --> 00:14:55,085 And the colors. 255 00:14:56,916 --> 00:14:59,829 Otherwise, everything is fine. 256 00:14:59,885 --> 00:15:02,092 [Chiming] 257 00:15:07,026 --> 00:15:09,666 [Clunking] 258 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:20,780 There is one more thing. 259 00:15:26,312 --> 00:15:30,226 [Clock Chiming] 260 00:15:32,718 --> 00:15:36,256 [Clunking] 261 00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:42,233 - Don't say it, Bob. - [ Mumbles ] What? 262 00:15:42,294 --> 00:15:46,640 - And don't pretend you're asleep. - [ Mumbling] 263 00:15:46,699 --> 00:15:49,043 You brought it on yourself. 264 00:15:52,438 --> 00:15:54,384 Emily, what are you talking about? 265 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,046 Our apartment, and you have no right to complain. 266 00:15:57,109 --> 00:16:00,818 Who would I complain to, Louis XV? 267 00:16:02,314 --> 00:16:05,955 Bob, that chair happens to be a copy of a museum piece. 268 00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:08,897 Well, then let's put ropes around it and have tours. 269 00:16:11,157 --> 00:16:13,603 That's not very funny, Bob. 270 00:16:13,659 --> 00:16:15,570 It's the best I can do at 4:00 a.m. 271 00:16:15,628 --> 00:16:17,471 So you did hear the clock chime? 272 00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:20,170 I heard it clunk. 273 00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:23,611 Well, I had to make all the decisions. 274 00:16:23,669 --> 00:16:26,115 And, Emily, some of the decisions you made were very good. 275 00:16:26,172 --> 00:16:28,948 - Like this bedroom. - I didn't even touch the bedroom. 276 00:16:29,008 --> 00:16:30,954 Good decision. 277 00:16:32,478 --> 00:16:35,254 I've made another decision. 278 00:16:35,314 --> 00:16:38,625 I have decided you're gonna have to live with the furniture the way it is. 279 00:16:38,684 --> 00:16:40,630 Why can't we send it back? 280 00:16:40,686 --> 00:16:44,293 Because we bought it at an estate sale, and the owner is dead. 281 00:16:44,356 --> 00:16:47,735 He probably killed himself sliding out of that satin chair. 282 00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:53,706 I like that chair, Bob, and I like that couch and I like that room. 283 00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:57,179 - Well, what about me? - I'm not crazy about you. 284 00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:05,318 All right, Emily. I have to admit that, uh... 285 00:17:05,377 --> 00:17:07,323 well, I could have been more helpful. 286 00:17:07,379 --> 00:17:10,519 No, you had to get your oil changed. 287 00:17:10,583 --> 00:17:13,621 Well, I'm sorry, but, I mean, I do live in this house... 288 00:17:13,686 --> 00:17:16,394 and I'm not gonna live in a room where I might get hurt. 289 00:17:17,823 --> 00:17:20,167 So move. 290 00:17:20,226 --> 00:17:24,572 You know, you're behavingjust like I did last Tuesday night in Winnipeg. 291 00:17:26,799 --> 00:17:29,643 - What were you doing? - I was being stubborn. 292 00:17:29,702 --> 00:17:32,774 I was in a poker game, and I kept betting on a losing hand. 293 00:17:32,838 --> 00:17:34,784 I mean, I should havejust folded and taken my loss... 294 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,548 - like we should do on that furniture. - How are we gonna do that? 295 00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:40,648 - You take an ad in the paper. You sell it. - I don't wanna sell it. 296 00:17:40,713 --> 00:17:43,660 Then burn it. 297 00:17:43,716 --> 00:17:47,289 All right, Bob. I fold. 298 00:17:47,353 --> 00:17:51,130 I toss in my hand, but you're gonna have to help me get rid of that stuff... 299 00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:53,136 and you're gonna have to help me pick out new furniture. 300 00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:55,570 And from now on, you and I are in this together. 301 00:17:55,628 --> 00:17:58,438 It's a deal. Now let's get to sleep before it's five o'clunk. 302 00:17:58,497 --> 00:18:00,443 Aka)'- 303 00:18:05,004 --> 00:18:07,848 Bob, how much you lose in the poker game? 304 00:18:07,907 --> 00:18:10,217 $185. 305 00:18:10,276 --> 00:18:13,018 - Whatb' you have? - Pair of deuces. 306 00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:19,258 There you go. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. 307 00:18:23,823 --> 00:18:27,236 Hiya. Still got the diving table? 308 00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:29,204 That's a dining table. 309 00:18:29,261 --> 00:18:31,935 Oh, well, the ad in the paper said diving. 310 00:18:31,997 --> 00:18:34,375 Well, that's a misprint. It's dining, and it's been sold. 311 00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:38,745 Well, what about the “ganderfeather“ clock? 312 00:18:40,072 --> 00:18:42,450 That's been sold too. 313 00:18:42,508 --> 00:18:44,579 Come on, Maury. Let's get outta here. 314 00:18:44,643 --> 00:18:46,816 No, wait, wait. Let's look around. 315 00:18:46,879 --> 00:18:50,292 Hey, look at this wall thing, Dorothy. 316 00:18:50,349 --> 00:18:52,226 Maury, that's junk. 317 00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:54,924 Uh, excuse me, but that ox-yoke is over a hundred years old. 318 00:18:54,987 --> 00:19:00,596 Oh,just our luck. Last week our ox ran away. 319 00:19:01,927 --> 00:19:04,134 - Let's see what's in here. - That's our bedroom. 320 00:19:04,196 --> 00:19:06,676 Right. Thanks. 321 00:19:06,732 --> 00:19:09,269 - Hi, guys. How you cloin'? - [Emi/Jw] Not bad. 322 00:19:09,335 --> 00:19:13,977 Oh, you sold your ganderfeather clock. 323 00:19:14,039 --> 00:19:17,782 Yeah, we got lucky. We sold it five minutes before it was about to strike twelve. 324 00:19:19,445 --> 00:19:23,120 - Well, you don't have much left. - Well, we do have this nice satin chair. 325 00:19:23,182 --> 00:19:25,355 Oh, sounds like a sales pitch to me. 326 00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:27,624 No, at this rate, I'm ready to give it away. 327 00:19:27,686 --> 00:19:30,223 - Well, that's a good price. I'll take it. - Oh, really. 328 00:19:30,289 --> 00:19:32,235 Besides, whenever my mother comes to visit... 329 00:19:32,291 --> 00:19:34,293 she complains she never has anyplace to sit. 330 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,807 - She won't be able to sit in that. - Good. She won't stay so long. 331 00:19:37,863 --> 00:19:42,334 - Say, how much you want for the shower curtain? - They're not for sale. 332 00:19:42,401 --> 00:19:45,473 Put back the shower curtain, Dorothy. 333 00:19:47,439 --> 00:19:49,783 Hey, Bob, how's it going? Where should I put these here? 334 00:19:49,842 --> 00:19:51,947 How about on your canjerry? 335 00:19:52,011 --> 00:19:56,357 Come on. You're having a sale. I figure I could get rid of my snow tires. 336 00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:58,452 Jerry, we're selling antiques. 337 00:19:58,517 --> 00:20:02,021 These are antiques. Theyre off of a '46 Hudson. 338 00:20:02,087 --> 00:20:04,533 They should go like hotcakes. 339 00:20:05,891 --> 00:20:08,337 Say, my wife wants to know if we buy both lamps... 340 00:20:08,394 --> 00:20:10,340 would you throw in the shower curtain for nothing? 341 00:20:10,396 --> 00:20:12,307 Nothing in the bedroom is for sale. 342 00:20:12,364 --> 00:20:14,537 Then what are we doing in there? 343 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,137 I haven't the slightest idea. 344 00:20:18,137 --> 00:20:20,413 Some sale. 345 00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:24,579 Listen, Bob, on the snow tires, don't take any out-of-state checks, huh? 346 00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:26,748 Emily, I gotta go. ler, will you help me with my new chair? 347 00:20:26,812 --> 00:20:30,191 Sure thing. What did you pay for this, Carol? 348 00:20:30,249 --> 00:20:33,321 - It was free. - You were robbed. 349 00:20:35,754 --> 00:20:37,893 Well, we did pretty good, Bob. 350 00:20:37,957 --> 00:20:41,370 We got rid of almost everything, except now we're gonna have to sit on the floor. 351 00:20:41,427 --> 00:20:45,170 - I'm not. I'm gonna get my chair back from Howard. - Where am I gonna sit? 352 00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:47,836 Well, we'll find something. Let's go across the hall and browse. 353 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:51,040 No, honey. Bob. I really don't want that old stuff back. 354 00:20:51,103 --> 00:20:54,414 - But I want my chair. - I'm not sure Howard will sell it. 355 00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:57,750 - Well, we gotta go now. - Already? 356 00:20:57,810 --> 00:21:00,416 Yeah. We left our kids at a garage sale. 357 00:21:00,479 --> 00:21:04,086 - Yeah, just our luck, we won't sell 'em. - [ Cackles] 358 00:21:04,149 --> 00:21:06,459 Oh, look, Maury, a refrigerator. 359 00:21:06,518 --> 00:21:10,864 Oh, yeah, yeah. Say, how much do you want for the refrigerator? 360 00:21:10,923 --> 00:21:13,699 - It's not for sale. - Look, everybody's got a price. 361 00:21:13,759 --> 00:21:17,138 - No, it's really not for sale. - Well, come on. 250? 300? 362 00:21:17,196 --> 00:21:19,142 - What do you want? Tell me. - A thousand dollars. 363 00:21:19,198 --> 00:21:23,237 - Nine hundred. - Fine. 364 00:21:23,302 --> 00:21:25,942 No, no, no, Maury, it doesn't even have an ice maker. 365 00:21:26,005 --> 00:21:28,246 Oh, well, then forget it. 366 00:21:30,409 --> 00:21:32,912 - How about these snow tires? - $5,000. 367 00:21:32,978 --> 00:21:35,458 - What? - Apiece. 368 00:21:36,515 --> 00:21:38,461 Come on, Dorothy. 369 00:21:41,453 --> 00:21:43,490 [Sarcastic Chuckle] 370 00:21:46,392 --> 00:21:49,066 Honey, you wanna go to a movie tonight? 371 00:21:49,128 --> 00:21:51,734 Are you kidding, and leave my chair? 372 00:21:51,797 --> 00:21:54,004 - [Knocking] - Get that, will ya, honey? 373 00:21:54,066 --> 00:21:57,445 Oh, sure. I wouldn't want you to leave your chair. 374 00:21:58,837 --> 00:22:00,874 Hi, guys. Come on in. Make yourself at home. 375 00:22:00,939 --> 00:22:04,910 Oh. [Chuckles] Kinda looks like home. 376 00:22:04,977 --> 00:22:07,253 Well, your stuff looks great, doesn't it? 377 00:22:07,312 --> 00:22:10,259 - I want my chair back, Howard. - [ Laughs] 378 00:22:11,817 --> 00:22:14,764 - How'd the sale go? - Pretty good. We almost broke even. 379 00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:18,597 If we'd sold two snow tires for $10,000, we would have come out ahead. 380 00:22:18,657 --> 00:22:21,638 - I want my chair, Howard. - [ Laughs] 381 00:22:21,693 --> 00:22:24,674 I guess with all the antiques gone, there's not much furniture over there now, huh? 382 00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:29,804 Well, look, if you'd like my lamp, it's down in the locker. 383 00:22:29,868 --> 00:22:32,439 Get outta that chair, Howard. 384 00:22:34,473 --> 00:22:36,646 - You're serious, aren't you? - I want my chair back. 385 00:22:36,708 --> 00:22:38,881 Hey, a deal's a deal. You saw me give Emily the check. 386 00:22:38,944 --> 00:22:41,288 Get outta that chair, Howard! 387 00:22:41,346 --> 00:22:43,292 Okay. Okay. 388 00:22:43,348 --> 00:22:46,693 You can have your chair. I'll sell it back to you for $80. 389 00:22:46,752 --> 00:22:50,199 Howard, you only paid 75 for it. 390 00:22:50,255 --> 00:22:52,201 Oh, yeah, that's right, 75, that's right. 391 00:22:52,257 --> 00:22:54,965 I'll sell it back to you for $75. 392 00:22:55,027 --> 00:22:58,565 And here's your change. It was in the chair. Take that too. That's yours. 393 00:22:58,630 --> 00:23:02,043 - Keep the change, Howard. - Thank you. 394 00:23:02,101 --> 00:23:04,513 Do you want me to help you pick out some new furniture? 395 00:23:04,570 --> 00:23:07,016 No, no, no. Bob and I are gonna pick out the new furniture together. 396 00:23:07,072 --> 00:23:09,382 - Aren't we, Bob? - Right. 397 00:23:11,977 --> 00:23:13,923 Emily, get the chair. 398 00:23:17,883 --> 00:23:21,456 - [ Chattering] - Oh, Bob, Bob, please. 399 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,967 I already had two doughnuts this morning. 400 00:23:25,023 --> 00:23:29,199 Hey, Bob, that's really nice of you, selling my snow tires door-to-door. 401 00:23:29,261 --> 00:23:32,208 Jerry, you were supposed to leave your trunk unlocked sol could put the tires in. 402 00:23:32,264 --> 00:23:34,835 Oh, yeah. Well, here are the keys. 403 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:37,346 Well, here are the tires. 404 00:23:37,402 --> 00:23:40,076 Yeah. Carol, when you get a minute, would you mind- 405 00:23:40,139 --> 00:23:42,881 - No. - Or I could do it myself. 406 00:23:44,810 --> 00:23:46,756 [Elevator Dings] 407 00:23:48,413 --> 00:23:51,394 Say, would you like to buy some snow tires from a '46 Hudson? 408 00:23:51,450 --> 00:23:55,592 No. Do you want to buy a coconut carved like a monkey? 409 00:23:55,654 --> 00:23:57,895 - No. - Oh. 410 00:24:00,192 --> 00:24:02,138 Well, Mr. Herd, how was Hawaii? 411 00:24:02,194 --> 00:24:05,869 Oh, a typical tropical paradise. I hated it. 412 00:24:05,931 --> 00:24:09,879 - Did you get to the beach? - Yeah, but I sat with my back to the ocean. 413 00:24:09,935 --> 00:24:11,812 That's showin' 'em. 414 00:24:11,870 --> 00:24:14,646 Well, I guess that means you'll be leaving the coconut company. 415 00:24:14,706 --> 00:24:16,652 No, no, I'm gonna be staying right here in Chicago. 416 00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:19,086 - I'm gonna be in charge of the macaroon division. - Good. 417 00:24:19,144 --> 00:24:21,420 No, I can't think of anything worse than living in Hawaii. 418 00:24:26,485 --> 00:24:28,829 Seems like a nice place for a vacation though. 419 00:25:06,425 --> 00:25:08,234 [ Mews] 34771

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