Original subtitles

- [ Rings] - Hello?

Ah. Buenos dias.

Buenos zfias, Emily.

JQHE' E's uh...

e/ breakfast?

- Huevos rancheros. - Huevos rancheros. That figures.

- Well, Bob, I'm just trying to get you in the mood. - Emily, I'm in the mood.

Haven't I said "Buenos zfias” every morning since we decided to go to Mexico?

Yeah, but it's the way you say it.

If you're gonna make me feel like I'm dragging you along...

it's not gonna be any fun.

I mean, you just don't seem excited.

Emily, I'm excited. I just- I just don't show it the same way you do.

- Oh. - Emily, look.

Uh, you tell me about Mexico. We'll talk about it...

and-and I'll show you how excited I get.

Okay. Our first day there, we're gonna go to the bullfights.

That's fine, as long as we can watch 'em from the hotel window.

Oh, Bob. I hope you don't expect to spend the whole vacation...

lying around the hotel room.

I really wanna see the bullfights...

and Sunday is the only day they fight.

- What about the next Sunday? - Oh, that's no good.

That's the 16th, and, according to my temperature chart...

that'; the day we should lie around the hotel room.

They can, uh- They can really pinpoint it that closely?

I don't know what you mean by pinpointing it...

but the doctor said the I 6th is the day, and 6:30 is the time.

Hmm, sounds like pinpointing to me.

He also said, when people are relaxed and comfortable in a different atmosphere-

you know, like a vacation- that's the time that a lot of babies are conceived.

But he didn't pinpoint Mexico. I mean, we-

We could be anywhere.

Let me put it this way, Bob. I'm gonna be in Mexico...

and I think we ought to be together.

Maybe I'll come down for the day.

- [ Laughing] - I'm just kidding. I'm looking forward to Mexico.

But underneath all that kidding is a man who hasn't learned any Spanish...

and who probably hasn't even packed.

Emily, I'm all packed. Everything is in my shaving kit.

All you have to do is zip it up.

- You just don't seem enthusiastic. - I'll tell you one more time.

I'm excited about going to Mexico. I'm looking forward to going to Mexico.

I have one appointment this morning. I'm gonna rush back here, and then we're off.

When we get to Mexico, I promise you I will love everything about Mexico.

Okay, honey. I believe you.

Oh, Bob. You barely touched your huevos rancheros.

I just- I don't like Mexican food. I don't know.

[Blowing Nose]

Well, Mr. Trevesco, a lot of people have trouble showing affection.

From what you've told me, your-your father was not a demonstrative man.

Oh, he was demonstrative all right.

I mean, you did something wrong, and- whack! You know, whack!

I know what you mean by “whack?

You know, I can't remember my father even huggin' me once.

- How about your mother? - I don't think he ever hugged her either.

No. I mean, did she hug you?

Oh, yeah. She was different. She hugged me lots...

after my father hit me.

Well, maybe we ought to work on that while I'm away...

you know, trying to be- to be more affectionate.

If you, uh- If you feel like hugging your wife, uh, go ahead.

I mean, when- When was the last time you hugged your wife?

- You mean, just hugged her? - Yeah.

New Year's Eve.

Well, have-have you ever felt like hugging her since?

I mean,just... hugging her.

Well, yeah, I guess so.

Well, why don't- Why don't you go with that feeling?

Yeah. I see what you mean. lfl feel somethin'...

I should show it, express myself.

Right. But, uh, our time is up.

So, why, uh- Why don't you work on that while I'm away?

Aw, gee, thanks, Doc.

- Hey, you're terrific. - [ Gasps]

Aw, that's nice.

Yeah, I get what you mean, Doc.

I'll try it. I reallywill.

Yeah, that's a terrific feeling.

Hey, Doc, that's enough, huh?

Hey, Doc? Doc? Hey, what's wrong?

- My back. - Hey. Hey, somebody. Come in here.

There's something wrong with the doc.

Oh, my gosh. Uh, give him air.

- Stand back! - Stand back, and he'd fall over.

All I did was give him a friendly whack on the back.

Geez! I gotta learn to be more gentle.

- Hey. - Now, Bob, don't move. It'll only make it worse.

Hey, I'm the one that- that knocked it out of place.

- You think maybe I could just, uh- - No! No!

No, no. I'll just call a doctor.

Um, Bob, don't move.

- {Tapping Keys] - Bob hurt his back. Come right away.

Hey, he's tryin' to go to the couch.

Can you get him to the couch without moving him?

- Ah! You're moving him. - No, I'm not.

I'm steering him in the right direction.

That-That's it.

- There you go. - [ Moans]

Hey. Hey, look at that, huh?

My shrink on a couch.

Where is he? Oh, my gosh.

Look at him. How did this happen?

[Gasping] My back is out. It's nobody's fault.

No, no. It was my fault. I'm like a cow in a china shop.

- Did you call a doctor? - I called you.

His teeth are fine. Now call somebody for his back.

He needs a back specialist, someone who'll give him heat therapy, traction-

the works- even though it usually doesn't help.

- What about acupuncture? - No!

Well, maybe- Maybe I should call Emily.

No, no. Don't- Don't call Emily.

I feel-l feel fine. Everything's gonna be all right.

- I'm just- - Are you sure, Bob?

Yeah, I'm sure. It's-

It's amazing how it canjust-

just go awayjust-just like that.

Geez. That's a miracle. He's all better.

Well, I gotta go. Unless there's something I gotta-

- You want me for something? - Oh, no, no, no.

You've done enough. Thank you.

Bob? Bob, where do you thinkyou're going? Uh-

Mexico.

Mexico? You're lucky if you make it as far as the elevator.

Jerry, I don't have any choice.

Emily already-already feels I don't wanna go.

Ifshe-she finds out what happened here, she'll think I'm faking it.

Well, you're not, are you, Bob?

No, I guess you're not.

Boy, luckyl came by the garage and found you.

- Take it easy. Watch it. - Thanks, Howard.

Wait. Let me get the door closed. Watch the steps.

Boy, it was really spooky- just sitting there in your car...

staring straight ahead.

I thought you were listening to the music on the radio, but you weren't.

No. I couldn't tap my feet, Howard.

Easy, easy does it.

Boy, you should have a doctor look at that back.

Yeah. I- I ran into a back specialist on the elevator.

- What'd he say? - He gave me some muscle-relaxing pills...

and said I was doing a great impression of Boris Karloff.

- Easy, Bob. Easy. - [ Exhales]

Boy, Emily's really going to be disappointed about not making that trip.

No, she isn't, Howard, because we're-we're going.

- Really? - Really.

- [Key Turning In Lock] - That's- That's Emily. Now, remember, Howard.

Don't worry about me. My... lips are sealed.

Oh. Hi, honey. Hi, Howard.

[Muffled] Hi, Emily.

Oh, honey. I'm so glad you got home on time. Everything's all set.

I canceled the newspaper, Marilyn's gonna pick up the mail.

I'm all packed, and all we have to do is sit on the bags. I'm gonna need your help.

Coming.

Never mind,

Gee, I didn't need your help. I hope I'm not putting on weight.

I wanna leave a light burning. Which one should I leave?

Bob, would you get the suitcases? I think I'll leave this one.

Bob? Aren't you ever gonna get up?

Well, I- I hope so. There's- There's so much I wanna do.

Bob?

Bob- what's wrong?

Nothing. I was just noticing the- the carpeting needs cleaning.

Bob, now, something is wrong.

No, no. We can clean it.

What is it? What happened?

All right, I'll tell you. One of my patients whacked me in the back.

- Why? - Because he likes me.

- And you can't even straighten up? - It's not all that bad, Emily.

I've found a whole new world I never knew existed down here.

Oh. Bob, now, this is nothing to kid about.

Emily, I can kid about it because-because I'm fine.

I'll- I'll go get the bags.

Bob, look at you.

I can't.

Bob, you're in no shape to go anywhere.

Emily, yes, I am. We're going to Mexico.

I just want you to stay by my side...

to make sure no one throws a saddle on me.

Bob.

- Yes, honey? - Go to bed.

I'm on my way.

♪♪ [ TV: Organ, Melodramatic]

[Woman] Yes, this is Stephanie.

Who is this? [Gasps]

' iason? " a? I Organ]

- After all these years? - [ organ 1

[Man] Yes. Ifsjason...

- 2.'! 0112911] - after all these years.

Bob, you're not really watching that soap opera, are you?

[Stephanie] It's been a lot ofyearsJason.

[Jason] Yes. A lot of years.

;,1'[Organ: Background

No. I just- I was waiting for the news to come on.

Bob, the news doesn't come on for four hours.

Well, they're always breaking in with bulletins, you know.

You can- You can turn it off.

[Clicks OffTV]

Oh, uh- It's kind of hot in here, isn't it?

Well, Bob, you wanted all those blankets.

I know I did, but I'm kind of, you know, warm now.

Oh, well, we'll just take off one of the blankets.

Yeah, actually, it's the- the comforter that's the warmest.

Then we'll just take off the comforter...

and we'll put back...

one of the little blankets.

- Thank you, Emily. You're- You're so good to me. - Yeah. [Chuckles]

Well, is there anything else, Bob?

Yeahjust, uh- just one more thing.

Could you bring me my next muscle-relaxing pill...

and, uh, a-a glass of freshly squeezed orangejuice?

And a... cup of tea and, uh, a lemon?

[Chuckles]

That's three things, Bob. Four with the lemon.

Yeah, but the beauty of it is, they're-they're all in the kitchen...

so that it'd, you know, just be one trip.

Yeah. That is beautiful.

- Uh, Emily? - Yes, Bob?

Would you leave the door open sol could see outside?

Bob, why don't you just go... freshen up?

I thinkyou'll feel a lot better.

Yeah. That's a good idea. I thinkl will.

- [Clicks On TV] - 2.'! 0112911]

[Stephanie] How many years has it beemjason?

[Jason] I-l don't remember.

[Stephanie] Of course you don't remember.

- You had amnesia. - [Door Slams]

Jason 1 Ah, yes. I forgot.

Boy, amnesia. That's rough.

[Stephanie] Then I don't suppose you recall... the baby?

[Jason] The baby?

The ba- The baby? What baby?

[Jason] What baby?

[Stephanie] Why, our baby.

- ♪♪ [ Organ] -[Clicks OffTV]

Oh. There, doesn't it feel good to freshen up?

Yes, it sure does.

Well, here's your muscle relaxer...

am have' s yam Mae.

And the, uh- And the tea?

It's steeping-

Uh. Emily?

Is this freshly squeezed orangejuice?

No. It's frozen, Bob.

Well, it's, uh- It's good... for, uh- for frozen.

Emily, are you, uh- Are you angry?

No!

Why-Why don't we talk about it?

Oh, Bob, there isn't anything to talk about.

You're sick, and I just hope you get better. Soon.

Well, I-l am getting better, Emily, day by day.

- And, uh, thanks to you. - Good.

Yeah. I really mean it, Emily. You're doing a- You're doing a wonderful job.

Boy, these, uh-

These muscle-relaxing pills really wor- really work fast, don't they?

I mean, if, uh-

If you're, uh...

upset, you know, it's... better to get it, uh-

- get it ofi' your, uh- - Chest.

You're right, Bob. I-l am upset...

and I do think we ought to talk about it.

Yeah, well, it'll- it'll makeyou, uh-

Well, you see, I'm upset because we're not on vacation.

- Feel better. - And that'; another thing.

You are talking so slow, I just want tojump in your mouth...

and pull the words out.

I know it's not your fault. I know it's those muscle relaxers you're taking...

but it is driving me crazy.

And I am upset because lam waiting on you hand and foot...

and I am upset because you seem to be enjoying it.

I can't help it, Bob. I wouldjust rather be on the beach in Acapulco...

getting a terrific tan and possibly a baby.

Now, there. I said it, and I don't feel any better.

I mean, I feel worse, 'cause you're lying here sick...

and I'm standing here yelling at you because I'm a terrible person.

Good. Uh-

Could I- Could I have my tea now?

Oh. Yes, Bob.

-[Clicks On TV] - ♪♪ [ Organ]

[Stephanie]jason, can it ever be the way it was... again?

[Jason] The way what was?

Stephanie 1 Oh, Jason, Jason. We'll run away...

iust... the two of us.

.1' [Ofgafl]

What about the baby?

Yeah. I go, uh, back and forth from here to the bedroom...

and I wash my face, turn my head from side to side.

Boring.

Oh, Bob. I didn't mean you were boring.

Oh. I mean, when- when moving your head is the highlight of the day, Bob.

- Boring. - [ Doorbell Buzzes ]

Oh, should I get that?

It might be faster, yeah.

Come on in!

Carol, I could've done that.

- Hi, Carol. - 0h, hL/er.

Well, here he is.

- It's him, all right. - Yeah.

- Looks pretty good. - Mm-hmm.

- How about a few sets of tennis? Jerry, I would...

but after I beat you, I'd have troublejumping over the net.

- [ Laughing] - Carol, how about a cup of coffee, huh?

Oh, there's no escaping you, is therejerry?

- The instant is in the right-hand cabinet. - Oh, wonderful.

Hey, Bob. How you feeling?

I'm coming along pretty nicelyJerry.

Seriously, Bob. I mean, really, how are you feeling?

I feel pretty goodJerry.

Come on, Bob. I know you too well. You can tell me.

The doctor gave me three monthsJerry.

Aw, you'll be better in no time, Bob.

Uh, listen, where's Emily?

- She at school? - No. She's down at the travel agency.

She's changing our tickets to Saturday.

Are you still planning to go to Mexico?

Well, we still have two weeks left...

and I think I'll heal a little faster down there.

Only thing is, I can't do the hat dance.

- [ Laughing] Here. - Thank you.

- Oh. Hi, everybody. - Oh, hi, Emily.

- How are you? - Terrible.

- As soon as Bob's back on his feet- - No, no.

I mean I really feel terrible.

- You're right. You look lousy. - I do?

All of a sudden, I just felt so hot and achy...

like, if you don't lie down, you'rejust gonna fall down.

- Emily, you ought to get to bed. - I thinkyou're right.

- Hey, can we- Can we do anything? - Uh-uh.

No, no. We can, uh- We can manage.

[Carol] If you're sure, Bob, then I guess we'lljust get on back to the office.

Bye, Bob.

[Knocking]

Hiya, Dr. Hartley.

Listen, I'm sorry to bother you at home.

I just heard that you canceled your vacation on account of me, and I just felt awful.

Well, don't feel bad, Mr. Trevesco.

We're, uh- We're leaving in a couple days for Mexico.

Oh, that's great. Ah.

Listen, I got the truck double-parked, and I gotta get back to the store.

But I wanted you to have this little present. Here.

- [Yelps] - Don't mention it.

How do you feel?

Not good.

- How about you? - Not good.

I hope we don't have a fire.

[Phone Ringing]

Well, one of us should answer that.

[Ringing Continues]

- You wanna arm wrestle for it? - It's on your side.

I know.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mort.

- Dr. Dorfman. - Oh, good.

Yeah, she still feels dizzy.

- No. Woozy. - Woozy.

- And my eyes hurt. - And her eyes hurt.

And my hair.

I'm not gonna tell him your hair hurts.

- Well, it does. - Then you tell him.

Hello? Oh, hi, Doctor.

Yeah, well, I'vejust never been sicker in my entire life.

My hair?

Yes. As a matter of fact, it does hurt.

Uh-huh. Oh- Oh, that's what you think it is, huh?

Uh-huh. Well-Well, thank you.

Bye, Mort.

- What'd he say? - He said I have a cold.

He's gonna send over a prescription.

He said I should have some ice cream to settle my stomach.

He didn't say who should go to the kitchen for the ice cream, did he?

Doesn't matter. We don't have any anyhow.

Door Slams]

Bob? That was our front door. Somebodys in our living room.

Let 'em take whatever they want. We can't do anything about it.

Y Howard 1 Bob? Emily?

Oh, Howard? We're in the bedroom.

I'll come back later.

Howard! It's all right. Come on in.

Well, well, well. How are we feeling tonight?

Well, some of us are still sick.

Good. I brought you a little something to cheer you up.

There's a crossword puzzle in there, some cards...

some newspapers, some books and some magazines.

Oh, Howard, that's very sweet of you. You shouldn't have bothered.

That's okay. Lot of people leave stuff on the plane.

Look, uh, can I get you guys anything before I go?

No. I think we got everything right here, Howard.

If you need anything,just write it down. There's a pencil and paper in the bag.

- I'll be back in about three and a half days. - [Emily] We '// still be here.

- [ Bedroom Door Closes] - Ice cream.

- Ice cream! - [ Front Door Closes]

- Well, I guess we missed him. - Guess we did.

Bob. I just had a thought.

What time is it?

6:30.

It's 6:30 on the 16th.

- Bob? - Oh, no, Emily.

Bob? Are you sure you still wanna go?

Honey, 1 O clays are better than no clays.

- How do you feel? - Queasy.

That's the way we're supposed to come back from Mexico.

[Chuckles] That's right.

You know, we're gonna have a great time...

but there-there's only one thing I regret.

The baby.

Oh, Bob, we'll have other times.

Oh, yeah, ours too. I meant Stephanie andjason's.

[ Mews]