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1
00:00:44,397 --> 00:00:47,503
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
2
00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:50,605
- Well, I'm really glad you can come.
{Knocking}
3
00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:52,707
Could you hold on a minute?
Come in!
4
00:00:52,773 --> 00:00:56,721
Major calamity downstairs.
Three kids, two cookies.
5
00:00:56,777 --> 00:00:58,779
Oh. Uh--
6
00:00:58,845 --> 00:01:02,918
Sorry. Well, it should be a lot of fun.
7
00:01:02,983 --> 00:01:06,328
Yeah. Well, I've never
done this before either.
8
00:01:06,386 --> 00:01:09,924
Right. 9:30. You know the address.
I'll be in my room.
9
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:14,200
Uh-huh. Well, I imagine
it'll only take an hour or so.
10
00:01:16,096 --> 00:01:20,442
What? Oh, sure, you should bring
your handcuffs.
11
00:01:22,102 --> 00:01:24,912
Yeah. Bye.
12
00:01:24,971 --> 00:01:27,781
I don't care to hear about
any part of this conversation.
13
00:01:27,841 --> 00:01:30,344
- Good. Then I won't tell you.
- Well, there is one part.
14
00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:32,356
- What part?
- All of it.
15
00:01:32,412 --> 00:01:35,882
It's no big deal, Margaret.
I'm in charge of career day at school.
16
00:01:35,949 --> 00:01:38,793
That was a policeman.
He's coming to talk to my kids.
17
00:01:38,852 --> 00:01:41,799
And he's gonna bring
his handcuffs.
18
00:01:41,855 --> 00:01:46,497
Well, I've got six careers. All I need
is a couple more, and I'm all set.
19
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,562
Hey, Margaret.
20
00:01:48,628 --> 00:01:52,667
Why don't you come to career day and tell
the kids what it's like to be a housewife?
21
00:01:52,732 --> 00:01:55,975
No. Let them be surprised
like the rest of us were.
22
00:01:57,537 --> 00:02:00,313
You know, I really love it injapan.
They have these bathhouses...
23
00:02:00,373 --> 00:02:03,752
and these little women go running up and down
your back-- really quickly.
24
00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:06,916
Oh. Excuse me.
Uh, we were just, uh--
25
00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:09,290
Hi, honey.
H-Hello, Margaret.
26
00:02:09,349 --> 00:02:13,456
Ah,just leaving. Hey, you know,
for your career clay, why don't you ask--
27
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,729
Oh, Margaret.
That's great.
28
00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:22,069
- H0 wamfl would you come speak at myschoo/
Wednesday? - Me? You really want me?
29
00:02:22,128 --> 00:02:24,074
It's career day
for my third grade class...
30
00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:26,303
and I've got a doctor,
a lawyer and a policeman.
31
00:02:26,366 --> 00:02:29,279
And I think a navigator on a bigjet
would really be exciting.
32
00:02:29,336 --> 00:02:33,011
Oh, Wednesday. I had planned to spend all day
Wednesday at my brother's wedding.
33
00:02:33,073 --> 00:02:35,053
- Oh,well.
- I'll cancel it.
34
00:02:36,676 --> 00:02:38,656
Great.
I only need one more.
35
00:02:38,712 --> 00:02:40,658
- Uh, when-- when is that, honey?
- Wednesday.
36
00:02:40,714 --> 00:02:42,284
I wonder what I should wear.
37
00:02:42,349 --> 00:02:45,421
Oh, I think the kids would love to see you
in your uniform.
38
00:02:45,485 --> 00:02:47,590
Oh, yeah.
My uniform. Good.
39
00:02:47,654 --> 00:02:51,295
Oh, my uniform has a stain on it,
and my spare one's in for alterations.
40
00:02:51,358 --> 00:02:54,601
- Which-- Which Wednesday is that?
- This Wednesday.
41
00:02:54,661 --> 00:02:57,335
Fm an expert at stains.
What kind of stain?
42
00:02:57,397 --> 00:03:02,005
There's teriyaki sauce, uh, rice, uh,
pineapple sherbert and macadamia nuts.
43
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:06,808
Is that a stain or a luau?
44
00:03:06,873 --> 00:03:09,979
Uh, both. We were coming back
from Hawaii, and we hit an air pocket.
45
00:03:10,043 --> 00:03:11,989
The whole tray--
46
00:03:12,045 --> 00:03:13,991
Come on. I bet I can
get it out for you.
47
00:03:14,047 --> 00:03:16,891
I asked them 100 times not to feed us
when they go over the Rockies.
48
00:03:16,950 --> 00:03:19,692
- Is that, uh, Wednesday morning or afternoon?
- [ Door Closes]
49
00:03:19,753 --> 00:03:23,291
Morning. Hey, I didn't get to
kiss you when you came in.
50
00:03:23,356 --> 00:03:25,700
I'm sorry, honey.
Dinnefsjust gonna be a little late.
51
00:03:25,759 --> 00:03:29,639
You, uh-- You aren't inviting me
to career day.
52
00:03:29,696 --> 00:03:31,698
Oh, I'd love to, Bob,
but I think psychology...
53
00:03:31,765 --> 00:03:34,712
wouldjust be a little too hard
for eight-year-old kids to understand.
54
00:03:34,768 --> 00:03:37,908
Well, don't you think
I could make it easy for 'em to understand?
55
00:03:37,971 --> 00:03:40,008
I don't think so, Bob.
56
00:03:41,074 --> 00:03:43,748
Emily, uh--
57
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:45,881
I mean, I'm a--
I'm a trained psychologist.
58
00:03:45,946 --> 00:03:49,826
I mean, I'm sure I could answer any question
they might have about psychology.
59
00:03:49,883 --> 00:03:53,194
Oh, I don't thinkyou know the kind of questions
eight-year-old kids can ask.
60
00:03:54,487 --> 00:03:57,900
Emily, I'm a trained
psychologist.
61
00:03:57,958 --> 00:04:01,496
I'm sure I can answer any question
they might have about psychology.
62
00:04:01,561 --> 00:04:04,098
- Want me to tryyou?
- I would love it.
63
00:04:04,164 --> 00:04:06,644
Okay. Psychology-
64
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,579
- Yeah.
- Why is it spelled so funny?
65
00:04:12,439 --> 00:04:15,784
Shouldn't it start with
an “S“ instead of a “P“?
66
00:04:15,842 --> 00:04:18,220
Uh, why does the “Y“
sound like an “I“?
67
00:04:18,278 --> 00:04:21,350
Why is the “H” silent?
68
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:25,585
So, what's for dinner?
69
00:04:35,962 --> 00:04:40,138
Well, I-- I have to be honest with you, Walter.
I don't agree with you.
70
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,079
Well, I think what you did at the party
last night was in bad taste...
71
00:04:43,136 --> 00:04:45,980
and-- and I agree with
the hostess for telling you so.
72
00:04:47,807 --> 00:04:51,414
Walter, a lot of your hostility comes from
the fact you can't accept criticism.
73
00:04:53,913 --> 00:04:56,553
Hello?
74
00:04:56,616 --> 00:04:58,892
Hello?
75
00:04:58,952 --> 00:05:00,898
[Knocking]
76
00:05:00,954 --> 00:05:03,798
Bob, can I talk to you?
I've got a problem.
77
00:05:03,857 --> 00:05:06,997
- Sure. Let's-- Let's talk about it.
- Can luse your couch?
78
00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:10,507
- It's that serious?
- No, no. It really isn't. I'm not gonna botheryou.
79
00:05:10,563 --> 00:05:12,509
You'll just say
it's a dumb problem.
80
00:05:12,565 --> 00:05:14,977
No, listen, if it's bothering you,
it's not a dumb problem.
81
00:05:15,035 --> 00:05:17,015
Oh, thank you, Bob.
82
00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:19,016
I can't decide which
coffee machine to order.
83
00:05:19,072 --> 00:05:21,018
This is the coffee
Klatch-O-Matic...
84
00:05:21,074 --> 00:05:23,486
and it gives you extra hot water
for your coffee, tea, soup.
85
00:05:23,543 --> 00:05:26,717
Here'; your Brewmaster.
No plumbing required.
86
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:29,158
Now, finally,
Coffee-and-Soup-to-You.
87
00:05:29,215 --> 00:05:31,821
I don't want to influence you,
but what do you think?
88
00:05:31,885 --> 00:05:34,422
- You're right.
- What?
89
00:05:34,487 --> 00:05:37,696
It's a dumb problem.
90
00:05:37,757 --> 00:05:40,795
I'm sorry,
but I am going bananas...
91
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:44,706
trying to figure out which coffee machine
to get for my reception area.
92
00:05:44,764 --> 00:05:47,438
What's wrong with the coffee machine
we have out there now?
93
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,605
It just makes coffee.
94
00:05:52,505 --> 00:05:55,850
Isn't that sort of the-- the goal
of a coffee machine?
95
00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:57,547
- Bob.
- [Knocking]
96
00:05:57,610 --> 00:05:58,953
Hi, Bob.
Hi, Carol.
97
00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:00,719
- Jerry.
- Letjerry decide.
98
00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:03,386
- Letjerry decide what?
- All right. If you had to choose...
99
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:06,158
- one of these coffee machines, which
would you pick? - Uh, this one.
100
00:06:06,219 --> 00:06:10,463
- Why did you pick that one?
- 'Cause this is where I want to sit down.
101
00:06:10,523 --> 00:06:13,504
All right. Well.
I'll just decide myself.
102
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,803
I don't want to hear any complaints
if I pick one without enough accessories.
103
00:06:16,863 --> 00:06:18,809
Why don't you ask Tupperman,
the urologist?
104
00:06:18,865 --> 00:06:21,243
His patients will be drinking
most of it anyway.
105
00:06:24,938 --> 00:06:28,249
- 50, what? up, jar/y? - I just wanted to
find out what you're gonna wear Wednesday.
106
00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:31,312
I don't know yet. I usually decide that
Wednesday morning after my shower.
107
00:06:31,377 --> 00:06:34,586
Oh. I mean to career day
at Emily's school.
108
00:06:34,647 --> 00:06:36,684
I think I'll wear my smock.
109
00:06:36,749 --> 00:06:38,786
You gonna wear a suit?
110
00:06:38,852 --> 00:06:41,924
- Oh, I'm-- I'm not going to career day.
- Oh, working, huh? Too bad.
111
00:06:41,988 --> 00:06:44,491
- No. As a matter of fact, I'm free.
- Oh.
112
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,537
Ohh.
113
00:06:46,593 --> 00:06:49,472
Sorry.
114
00:06:49,529 --> 00:06:51,873
There's-- There's nothing
to be sorry about.
115
00:06:51,931 --> 00:06:53,911
Emily only needed
a certain number of people...
116
00:06:53,967 --> 00:06:56,447
and by the time I got home,
she was all booked up.
117
00:06:56,503 --> 00:07:00,076
That's odd because she called me
just this morning. Ooh. Sorry.
118
00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:03,143
Okay.
119
00:07:03,209 --> 00:07:06,088
All right. I'll tell you the real reason
Emily didn't invite me.
120
00:07:06,146 --> 00:07:08,387
She felt that, uh,
psychology was just...
121
00:07:08,448 --> 00:07:10,621
a little too intellectual
for the kids to understand.
122
00:07:10,683 --> 00:07:12,754
Well, you know, she's right.
123
00:07:12,819 --> 00:07:15,322
I mean, psychologyjust isn't
one of your glamourjobs...
124
00:07:15,388 --> 00:07:17,732
like astronaut,
orthodontist.
125
00:07:20,326 --> 00:07:24,934
Jerry, a giant step for mankind is more important
than “Please rinse and spit.“
126
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,202
You'rejust sore
'cause you weren't invited.
127
00:07:29,269 --> 00:07:32,580
I don't understand how the kids are gonna
understand what you do and not what I do.
128
00:07:32,639 --> 00:07:35,381
Don'tjump on me.
jump on your wife. I didn't ask me.
129
00:07:35,441 --> 00:07:37,819
She did. And she must
know what she's doing.
130
00:07:37,877 --> 00:07:40,653
Well, look at it. Here.
131
00:07:40,713 --> 00:07:44,160
Psychologist.
132
00:07:44,217 --> 00:07:47,164
That's a hard word to understand,
and it's a long word.
133
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:50,633
Two, four, six, eight,
10, 12 letters in that word.
134
00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:52,636
Give me that.
135
00:07:52,692 --> 00:07:56,230
Orthodontist.
136
00:07:56,296 --> 00:07:58,298
Six, eight, 1 O,
12 letters.
137
00:07:58,364 --> 00:08:00,344
Same number
of letters as mine.
138
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,849
Well, I usually tell people that I'm a dentist.
D-E-N-T-I--
139
00:08:07,207 --> 00:08:10,984
I can't believe we're actually sitting here
counting the number of letters in our jobs.
140
00:08:13,413 --> 00:08:15,654
Don't I have a patient
out there or something?
141
00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:17,023
Bob.
142
00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:19,029
What?
Oh, I see her.
143
00:08:19,085 --> 00:08:21,087
- HLjer/y
- Hi, Emily.
144
00:08:21,154 --> 00:08:23,225
- Hi, honey. What brings you here?
- Bob...
145
00:08:23,289 --> 00:08:25,792
I have to talk to you about
something very important.
146
00:08:25,858 --> 00:08:27,860
'*§
147
00:08:29,162 --> 00:08:32,507
- Uh, mind if I leave?
- Not at all.
148
00:08:35,568 --> 00:08:38,208
- Yeah. What is it?
- Bob...
149
00:08:39,772 --> 00:08:42,651
I'm sorry I disappointed you
last night.
150
00:08:44,077 --> 00:08:47,149
Oh, honey, I get headaches like that
myself sometimes.
151
00:08:51,351 --> 00:08:53,353
Oh.
152
00:08:55,321 --> 00:08:59,269
Uh, I meant
the career day thing.
153
00:08:59,325 --> 00:09:02,033
Oh, that.
Oh, that--
154
00:09:02,095 --> 00:09:05,201
[Clears Throat] That was nothing.
I haven't even thought about it since.
155
00:09:05,265 --> 00:09:09,975
Bob, what is
“Psychologist, 12. Orthodontist, 12”?
156
00:09:11,237 --> 00:09:14,309
Oh.
157
00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:17,787
Oh, that was the, uh--
That was the score of the game last night.
158
00:09:19,879 --> 00:09:21,825
Sort ofan intramural--
159
00:09:22,949 --> 00:09:25,429
Yeah. The, uh--
The play-off is Thursday.
160
00:09:26,686 --> 00:09:29,530
Well,you'll get 'em
in the play-off, honey.
161
00:09:29,589 --> 00:09:31,933
Anyway, about
this career day thing.
162
00:09:31,991 --> 00:09:36,371
Uh, I was thinking,
and maybe last night I was too protective...
163
00:09:36,429 --> 00:09:38,670
because it was my thing,
you know.
164
00:09:38,731 --> 00:09:41,211
Maybe I was
too cautious, but--
165
00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:43,247
Well, anyway, I was wrong.
166
00:09:43,303 --> 00:09:45,249
I mean,
I know you'd be great...
167
00:09:45,305 --> 00:09:48,843
and I'd really be proud to have you there,
and I really want you to come.
168
00:09:48,908 --> 00:09:51,252
- Who canceled out?
- The lawyer.
169
00:09:53,446 --> 00:09:55,392
Emily.
I'll be glad to help.
170
00:09:55,448 --> 00:09:58,088
Oh, great!
I-- I gotta run.
171
00:09:58,151 --> 00:10:00,097
- I'll run you to the elevator.
- Oh.
172
00:10:00,153 --> 00:10:03,930
Oh, uh--l think
I'll wear my new gray suit.
173
00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:08,097
I'm sorry. $130 a month is too much
for a coffee machine.
174
00:10:08,161 --> 00:10:11,938
No, I don't care. No one would ever
use the doughnut maker.
175
00:10:11,998 --> 00:10:16,447
Honey, I'm really glad that you came by,
and I-- and I'm looking forward to it.
176
00:10:16,502 --> 00:10:18,539
Yeah, it should be
a lot of fun.
177
00:10:23,343 --> 00:10:26,916
- Bye.
- Bye, Dr. Hartley.
178
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,754
- I'm right.
- You're absolutely wrong.
179
00:10:32,819 --> 00:10:34,457
I'll bet you five dollars
you're wrong.
180
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,830
Bob, tell Tupperman the score of
last night's ball game.
181
00:10:36,889 --> 00:10:41,133
- Gee. I forget.
- Uh, Orthodontist, 12, Psychologist, 12.
182
00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,901
Oh, well.
Get you in the play-offs.
183
00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:54,416
You know, honey, I'm really looking forward
to going back to grammar school.
184
00:10:54,474 --> 00:10:59,184
You know, I haven't been
to a grammar school since--
185
00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:01,316
Wow.
186
00:11:01,381 --> 00:11:04,123
1943?
187
00:11:04,183 --> 00:11:07,221
They-- They still collect,
uh, tin cans and fat?
188
00:11:08,688 --> 00:11:11,225
I don't know.
That was before my time.
189
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:14,271
I was penny loafers
and “sh-boom, sh-boom.“
190
00:11:14,327 --> 00:11:18,104
I-- I know your age. You were saddle shoes
and “That Doggie in the Window.“
191
00:11:19,999 --> 00:11:23,037
Would you like to call Howard
and tell him breakfast is ready?
192
00:11:23,102 --> 00:11:25,639
It won't be necessary.
By the time the smell of the bacon...
193
00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:28,311
gets across our room,
under the door and across the hall--
194
00:11:28,374 --> 00:11:31,116
- [Knocking]
- Howard will be here. Hi, Howie.
195
00:11:32,378 --> 00:11:34,688
Mmm. Something smells good.
196
00:11:34,747 --> 00:11:36,727
Want some
orangejuice, Howard?
197
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:40,959
Uh, if you don't mind, I'd rather not.
I drank an awful lot of it last night.
198
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:44,126
Uh, I'd like to have some of
whatevefs smelling so good though.
199
00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:46,727
- That would be the bacon.
- No. It's something else.
200
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,865
- Uh, is there mintjelly?
- No. I don't think so.
201
00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:53,308
Uh, what kind of aftershave lotion
are you wearing?
202
00:11:53,366 --> 00:11:56,506
- Old Lime.
- That's it.
203
00:11:56,569 --> 00:11:58,981
I wonder what's
keepingjerry.
204
00:11:59,038 --> 00:12:02,986
Oh, he'll be here. ltjust takes a little longer
for the smell to get across town.
205
00:12:03,042 --> 00:12:05,352
- Well, you ready for the big day, Howard?
- Yeah.
206
00:12:05,411 --> 00:12:09,518
On the way to school, can we stop by
at the airport? I want to pick up a plane.
207
00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:14,324
My trunkis
full of golf clubs, Howard.
208
00:12:14,387 --> 00:12:17,834
No, no. lt'sjust a model, not a real one.
It's a great visual aid.
209
00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:21,531
What do you need with a visual aid?
I mean, you just tell the kids what you're gonna do.
210
00:12:21,594 --> 00:12:24,404
I'm sure none of the rest of us
are gonna bring visual aids.
211
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:26,410
- [Knocking]
- It's open.
212
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,502
Hi.
213
00:12:33,406 --> 00:12:35,750
What the heck is that?
214
00:12:35,808 --> 00:12:39,017
Oh, this is my model ofTuffy the Tooth.
Got it from my equipment distributor.
215
00:12:39,078 --> 00:12:41,285
Makes a great visual aid.
Don't you think? Hi, Emily.
216
00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:43,588
HLJerry.
I love your tooth.
217
00:12:43,649 --> 00:12:46,129
Hey. Look at the detail on this thing.
It's even got a cavity.
218
00:12:46,185 --> 00:12:48,631
That's not a cavity.
I banged it on the elevator coming up.
219
00:12:51,057 --> 00:12:55,233
Boy, this is really getting exciting.
I mean, here we all are, ready to go.
220
00:12:55,294 --> 00:12:57,433
Whoops. All except me.
Excuse me.
221
00:12:57,497 --> 00:13:01,377
I can't wait to show you the model
of my DC-10. I mean, it's really nifty.
222
00:13:01,434 --> 00:13:04,313
It's got little toy people,
and it's got little toy seats.
223
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:06,543
It's even got teeny tiny
toy little drinks.
224
00:13:06,606 --> 00:13:10,748
Sounds great. What are you bringing
for a visual aid, Bob?
225
00:13:10,810 --> 00:13:12,756
Can we drop the talk about
visual aids?
226
00:13:12,812 --> 00:13:15,918
I don't need a visual aid,
and I'm not bringing a visual aid.
227
00:13:15,982 --> 00:13:21,898
Ah, maybe Bob's right. A model of a couch
with a tiny neurotic on it wouldn't be much fun.
228
00:13:25,758 --> 00:13:29,069
And then the clog jumps up on the truck,
the people thank us...
229
00:13:29,128 --> 00:13:33,440
and we ride back to the station
ringing the bell the whole way.
230
00:13:37,203 --> 00:13:40,946
Now I'm gonna let you take a look
at a real fire ax.
231
00:13:41,007 --> 00:13:43,886
- [All ] Ooh.
- One that's been to a lot of real fires.
232
00:13:43,943 --> 00:13:47,413
Why don't you take a good close look and then
pass it around to your neighbor, okay?
233
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,460
- Oh, uh--
- Don't worry, Mrs. Hartley.
234
00:13:49,515 --> 00:13:52,758
I'm putting the safety shield on
so the boys and girls can't hurt themselves.
235
00:13:52,818 --> 00:13:57,164
Oh. Well, thank you,
Deputy Chief Barnsdale for that wonderful talk.
236
00:13:58,524 --> 00:14:01,528
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
237
00:14:01,594 --> 00:14:04,973
Now, I-- I know it's been a long morning,
boys and girls...
238
00:14:05,031 --> 00:14:06,977
and we're all waiting
for lunch hour...
239
00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:09,206
but we have
one more speaker to go.
240
00:14:09,268 --> 00:14:13,182
He is what is called
a psychologist.
241
00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:17,346
Now, how many of you don't know
what a psychologist is?
242
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:19,720
Good. Good.
243
00:14:19,779 --> 00:14:22,316
I'm sure we're all anxious
to have him tell us about it...
244
00:14:22,381 --> 00:14:25,658
so please welcome
Dr. Robert Hartley.
245
00:14:35,461 --> 00:14:38,601
How many of you
know yourselves?
246
00:14:43,703 --> 00:14:46,877
I mean,
really know yourselves?
247
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,615
I know a lot of you are gonna say,
“I know myself“...
248
00:14:51,677 --> 00:14:53,918
and you look in the mirror
and say, “That's myself.“
249
00:14:55,881 --> 00:14:59,658
But that's-- thafsjust
the outside of you.
250
00:14:59,719 --> 00:15:02,791
A psychologist is a person
who helps you learn...
251
00:15:02,855 --> 00:15:06,200
not just the outside of you,
but-- but all of you.
252
00:15:10,496 --> 00:15:12,442
Are there any questions
so far?
253
00:15:12,498 --> 00:15:14,444
Yes.
254
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:18,710
How come this ax has a round end on one side
and a pointy end on the other side?
255
00:15:22,842 --> 00:15:26,415
I think the-- the fireman could probably
answer that better than I could.
256
00:15:26,479 --> 00:15:28,481
Yeah.
257
00:15:29,749 --> 00:15:32,855
I'm glad you asked
that question.
258
00:15:32,918 --> 00:15:38,129
Now, when a house catches on fire,
a lot of times the front door is locked.
259
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:41,137
So, the only way
the fireman can get in...
260
00:15:41,193 --> 00:15:45,801
is to take the pointy side of that ax
and break the door down.
261
00:15:45,865 --> 00:15:49,039
Now, sometimes the fire's
on the second floor.
262
00:15:49,101 --> 00:15:50,944
In this case--
263
00:15:51,003 --> 00:15:53,074
I'm not saying you're not doing good
up there...
264
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:56,120
but, uh, maybe you better
borrow my tooth.
265
00:16:00,546 --> 00:16:03,117
Bob, you weren't that bad.
266
00:16:03,182 --> 00:16:07,392
Emily, ever since we left school,
you've been telling me I wasn't that bad.
267
00:16:07,453 --> 00:16:10,923
If I wasn't that bad, why do you keep
thinking of telling me I wasn't that bad?
268
00:16:10,990 --> 00:16:14,062
Well, maybe it was my fault
for putting you on last...
269
00:16:14,126 --> 00:16:18,438
but considering how hungry and tired
those kids were, you weren't that bad.
270
00:16:19,665 --> 00:16:21,906
Emily, ever since
I can remember...
271
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:24,277
whenever my folks would
take me to a doctor, you know...
272
00:16:24,336 --> 00:16:26,612
for a shot,
like diphtheria or whooping cough...
273
00:16:26,672 --> 00:16:29,243
just before he'd give me the shot,
he'd always say...
274
00:16:29,308 --> 00:16:31,254
“Now, this isn't gonna
hurt that much“...
275
00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:33,256
and then he'd give it to me.
276
00:16:33,312 --> 00:16:36,293
And by the time I'd quit screaming
and yelling and carrying on...
277
00:16:36,348 --> 00:16:39,261
he'd always say,
“Now that wasn't that bad, was it?“
278
00:16:39,318 --> 00:16:42,663
But it was.
Sometimes it was even worse.
279
00:16:42,722 --> 00:16:47,000
So it doesn't help for you to tell me
it wasn't that bad when I know it was that bad.
280
00:16:47,059 --> 00:16:49,869
Even the minister got
a bigger hand than I did.
281
00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:52,910
Oh, no,.
282
00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:54,911
Not until
he took out his guitar...
283
00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:57,379
and everybody started singing
“Michael, Row the Boat Ashore.“
284
00:16:57,436 --> 00:17:00,542
Until then he was
doing just as badly as--
285
00:17:02,475 --> 00:17:04,751
All right, Bob.
If you want to thinkyou did badly...
286
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:07,222
you go right ahead,
even though nobody else thought so.
287
00:17:07,279 --> 00:17:09,225
- [Knocking]
- Come in.
288
00:17:10,683 --> 00:17:14,290
Oh, Bob. I think I know why you were
a flop in class today.
289
00:17:15,521 --> 00:17:17,467
Howard.
290
00:17:17,523 --> 00:17:19,469
No, no.
It's very simple.
291
00:17:19,525 --> 00:17:22,301
Everybody had on a uniform except you.
I think that's where you lost 'em.
292
00:17:22,361 --> 00:17:25,069
Howard, this is my uniform.
This is what I wear to work.
293
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:28,078
Oh. Well, it must have been
something else.
294
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:32,514
You know, I think maybe Howard's
onto something with that uniform business...
295
00:17:32,571 --> 00:17:34,847
because your uniform
is a suit...
296
00:17:34,907 --> 00:17:38,354
and that's what Mr. Patterson
the school principal wears but--
297
00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:41,721
No. The kids love him.
It couldn't be that.
298
00:17:41,781 --> 00:17:43,727
[Knocking]
299
00:17:43,783 --> 00:17:45,763
- Come in.
- Oh, you're back.
300
00:17:45,818 --> 00:17:47,764
I can't wait to hear
all about it.
301
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,766
Well, I can't wait
to tell you about it.
302
00:17:49,822 --> 00:17:53,463
Just the highlights because
if I don't get back to the dryer in five minutes...
303
00:17:53,526 --> 00:17:56,029
Arthur's underwear
may go up in flames.
304
00:17:56,095 --> 00:17:59,042
Well, it went over real great.
They loved the model and everything.
305
00:17:59,098 --> 00:18:02,341
There was a girl in class who was planning
to be a doctor when she grew up...
306
00:18:02,401 --> 00:18:04,711
but when I finished my speech,
she changed her mind.
307
00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:08,240
Now she wants to be an airline stewardess.
I feel real good about that.
308
00:18:09,475 --> 00:18:11,421
How did everybody else do?
309
00:18:11,477 --> 00:18:15,289
- Oh, everybody did just great.
- Yeah. Except for Bob.
310
00:18:22,388 --> 00:18:24,766
How fast can we get
that stuff back from the lab?
311
00:18:24,824 --> 00:18:28,169
[Carol ] Would you stand back, everybody?
I need some room here.
312
00:18:28,227 --> 00:18:30,537
- Ah.
- Well, so far so good.
313
00:18:30,596 --> 00:18:32,974
- It's not eating through the cup.
- What's happening here?
314
00:18:33,032 --> 00:18:35,808
Here, Bob. I want you to have
the first cup of coffee...
315
00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:37,779
from our new coffee machine.
316
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:46,315
What? Too strong?
Too weak?
317
00:18:46,378 --> 00:18:49,120
Too what, Bob?
318
00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:52,094
Not enough... beef.
319
00:18:52,151 --> 00:18:54,825
But it's coffee.
320
00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:02,405
No, it's beef soup.
321
00:19:04,296 --> 00:19:06,242
Good beef soup. Not--
322
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,179
Not great beef soup.
323
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:12,307
Well, I-- I must have
gotten the envelopes mixed up.
324
00:19:12,371 --> 00:19:15,841
Anybody want a cup of beef soup
with cream and sugar?
325
00:19:17,309 --> 00:19:19,482
Is that a definite no?
326
00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:22,424
- Hey, Bob, I'm surprised to see
you here this afternoon. - Why?
327
00:19:22,481 --> 00:19:25,587
After what happened this morning,
I figured you'd be home licking your wounds.
328
00:19:25,651 --> 00:19:27,961
- It wasn't that bad.
- Bob, I was there.
329
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,830
I saw. I know.
You bombed.
330
00:19:32,024 --> 00:19:34,436
I know.
I know.
331
00:19:37,296 --> 00:19:39,606
You know, I hate to admit this,
but it--
332
00:19:39,665 --> 00:19:43,135
It's starting to bother me.
I mean, was it me?
333
00:19:43,202 --> 00:19:45,978
Sure wasn't me, Bob.
334
00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:48,746
No, but, uh,
was my speech that--
335
00:19:48,807 --> 00:19:50,753
that dull and boring?
336
00:19:50,809 --> 00:19:53,688
I don't really know.
I wasn't paying too much attention to it.
337
00:19:53,746 --> 00:19:55,692
That's another thing.
338
00:19:55,748 --> 00:19:59,560
You didn't set a very good example
by leaving the room right in the middle of my talk.
339
00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:02,497
I had to go to
the little boys' room.
340
00:20:02,554 --> 00:20:05,694
And,you know, it was too, Bob.
Everything was so low.
341
00:20:11,397 --> 00:20:13,843
- I gotta go back.
- Bob, it's not worth a whole trip.
342
00:20:13,899 --> 00:20:16,209
So everything's low.
So what?
343
00:20:16,268 --> 00:20:18,214
No.
344
00:20:18,270 --> 00:20:21,410
I mean to Emily's class.
345
00:20:21,473 --> 00:20:23,749
I mean, I--I let
Emily down. I let--
346
00:20:23,809 --> 00:20:26,585
I let the kids down,
and worst of all, I--
347
00:20:26,645 --> 00:20:28,591
I let myself down.
348
00:20:28,647 --> 00:20:32,094
I mean, I'm gonna go back un--
until I get those kids.
349
00:20:32,151 --> 00:20:35,030
Better hurry up.
They graduate in three years.
350
00:20:37,923 --> 00:20:41,700
As you all know,
we had a math test scheduled for this hour.
351
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,706
- [All 1 Aw.
- Uh-huh.
352
00:20:43,762 --> 00:20:46,242
Well, I am canceling
that math test...
353
00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:51,245
so that Dr. Robert Hartley
can speak to you again.
354
00:20:51,303 --> 00:20:53,579
[All Groan]
355
00:20:56,008 --> 00:20:59,888
Would you all please welcome
Dr. Robert Hartley.
356
00:21:02,781 --> 00:21:06,285
Thank-- Thank you
very much. Uh--
357
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:10,198
Well, I guess--l guess you all know
what, uh-- what tools are.
358
00:21:10,255 --> 00:21:16,103
And one of the most important tools
a psychologist uses is, uh-- is honesty.
359
00:21:16,161 --> 00:21:18,471
And I'm gonna be
honest with you.
360
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:21,477
Uh, the reason I'm back here
today is because, uh...
361
00:21:21,533 --> 00:21:25,003
I felt you didn't like me
yesterday.
362
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:28,210
As a matter of fact,
I-- I didn't like myself yesterday.
363
00:21:28,273 --> 00:21:32,813
But, uh, that- that isn't
gonna happen today because...
364
00:21:33,846 --> 00:21:35,792
guess what I have
in this briefcase.
365
00:21:35,848 --> 00:21:38,158
An ax?
366
00:21:40,285 --> 00:21:42,231
No.
367
00:21:42,287 --> 00:21:44,494
No. I have something
much better than an ax.
368
00:21:44,556 --> 00:21:46,160
- [Alarm Ringing]
- What's that?
369
00:21:46,225 --> 00:21:48,330
Fire drill.
370
00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,465
Okay, everybody.
Now, line up single file...
371
00:21:50,529 --> 00:21:54,773
walk out the rear door, continue on
out to the outside, and remember, no talking.
372
00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:57,814
- Emily, how long is this--
- Shh. No talking.
373
00:21:57,870 --> 00:22:02,580
The last one out of the room
closes the door and shuts out the light.
374
00:22:17,456 --> 00:22:19,402
Now, that's really
very interesting.
375
00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:22,632
- You thought it looked like rain
clouds before a storm. - Yeah.
376
00:22:22,694 --> 00:22:26,301
You thought it looked like
the inside of a car motor.
377
00:22:26,365 --> 00:22:28,743
And you thought it looked like
the kitchen table...
378
00:22:28,801 --> 00:22:31,008
after your brother had spilled
black paint on it.
379
00:22:32,871 --> 00:22:35,715
Well, that just is
a good example of, uh--
380
00:22:35,774 --> 00:22:37,276
of how people
think differently.
381
00:22:37,342 --> 00:22:39,822
Uh, this is a game
that psychologists use...
382
00:22:39,878 --> 00:22:42,324
to teach people
to learn about themselves.
383
00:22:43,549 --> 00:22:46,689
- Yes.
- What do you think it looks like?
384
00:22:46,752 --> 00:22:48,459
- This?
- Yep.
385
00:22:52,091 --> 00:22:54,571
Well, of course,
I'm a grown-up. Uh--
386
00:22:55,961 --> 00:22:58,805
To me it looks like
two ducks kissing.
387
00:23:00,866 --> 00:23:04,871
All right. Since the fire drill took up a lot
of our time, are there any other questions?
388
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,312
That's a lot better than
Jerry and his tooth did.
389
00:23:11,376 --> 00:23:13,856
Yes.
390
00:23:13,912 --> 00:23:16,984
How come “psychologist“
is spelled so funny?
391
00:23:20,919 --> 00:23:22,899
Uh, Mrs. Hartley,
you want to answer--
392
00:23:26,325 --> 00:23:28,532
Oh.
[Chuckles]
393
00:23:28,594 --> 00:23:31,234
Thank you, Dr. Hartley.
394
00:23:33,565 --> 00:23:36,546
_ U h__
- [ Bell Rings ]
395
00:23:36,602 --> 00:23:38,411
Class dismissed.
396
00:23:49,448 --> 00:23:52,986
That didn't look like
two ducks kissing to me.
397
00:23:53,051 --> 00:23:56,931
It didn't to me either,
but, you know, we had kids.
398
00:24:01,927 --> 00:24:04,430
You know,
I-- I can't read.
399
00:24:04,496 --> 00:24:06,942
I keep thinking about
what happened today.
400
00:24:06,999 --> 00:24:09,411
You know.
I-- I can't get over it.
401
00:24:09,468 --> 00:24:13,245
I mean, I--I might have
carried that failure with me for...
402
00:24:13,305 --> 00:24:15,307
who knows how long,
you know, but I--
403
00:24:15,374 --> 00:24:19,379
I mean, I took the risk, and-- and I went back
to your school that second time.
404
00:24:19,444 --> 00:24:21,390
I found out
that I could be...
405
00:24:21,446 --> 00:24:23,653
fun and stimulating...
406
00:24:23,715 --> 00:24:27,219
and-- and interesting, you know,
rather than like the first time.
407
00:24:28,487 --> 00:24:30,489
Not a dull boring talk.
408
00:24:32,324 --> 00:24:34,304
Don't you think so, Emily?
409
00:24:36,495 --> 00:24:38,441
- [Snoring]
- Emily?
410
00:25:13,966 --> 00:25:15,377
[ Mews]
34977
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