Original subtitles

Theatre Von Krahl presents

Elusive Miracle

- It's unbelievable that we are here. - So close to his music.

I never believed he would come back to Estonia.

I didn't even know he was an Estonian. He doesn't look like one.

It's like he's from somewhere else.

His music is just so different.

His eyes are so sad. They make you crazy.

His whole body is so flexible. Even his butt. I've seen it.

No one else even comes close.

It's very hot in here.

- One, two, three, four. - How vulgar.

One, two, three. And to the left.

- Home, sweet home, so tiny. - Hi

- You look great. - Yes, I do.

What a quaint little studio. But still quite stylish.

Clean it up.

- You do have taste. - Tell me how you are doing here.

Sometimes I read in the net, but don't always have time.

I'm not sure what to begin with...

Let it be then. Leo! He looks so damn great.

I have to arrange photo sessions and interviews all the time.

Without me he would still be sitting in some orchestra pit.

As inept as everybody else here.

Hi, Professor!

I'm here now. What time should I start?

Mrs. Lilly will tell you. Go have a seat somewhere.

It's great that you and Leo met...

but you didn't use to think very highly of his music.

- That's true. But he was with that... - Eeva

I don't remember people from the past anymore.

- Is she still alive? - Eeva? Yes, of course.

I invited her here as well.

But I can tell her not to come. - No, that's fine.

Let her watch sheepishly what Leo has become.

Now, that he's with me and not with her.

- I can arrange that she won't... - No, let her come.

She has to see what I have made of Leo.

We just have to get into the swing of things.

Everyone here is a professional and you look great.

It's essential for you to be active inside...

Don't put that. It's unnecessary.

Don't mind me, I'm an empty space.

Just you, the piano and your relationship.

You stare at the piano, wanting to play it...

but don't dare.

Then you do something.

You have to improvise on the spot. Stroke it or something.

- That's quite good. - Cool!

I don't know. Perhaps it's too much...

like a prison you try to escape from.

You jump under the piano...

tear something there.

It ends with you...

...in the end you will kill the piano. Yes, that one.

Hello, Estonia! We have arrived.

After being invited here many times...

we could finally include Estonia in Leo Saalep's concert tour.

Welcome to the press conference.

We'll start with the photo session.

You'll see how an exclusive poster of Leo Saalep is made.

Later on, Leo will answer your questions.

I remind you that...

during the photo performance flashlights are not allowed.

Filming is allowed for those who have preliminary permits.

- What is it? - Leo...

- Go ahead. - Already?

Yes, of course.

I won't be exaggerating, when I say that...

in the history of Estonian music, which is so short...

Leo Saalep is the first pianist...

....Leo Saalep, being on the top of his fame...

has found time to come back to Estonia.

We have an opportunity to share his music...

We are coming shortly.

Leo, people are waiting outside. You'll go and do it now.

I can't. It's so soft under my feet.

As if it was a swamp. I'll sink in.

Leo, you won't sink anywhere. I'm right here.

- You'll go now and do it. - I have sunk already.

Everything is as it used to be.

They won't see any miracle in my performance.

I'll stand by you.

You'll go and push yourself through those people.

They are nothing compared to you. Leo, you can do it.

- Do you believe that? - Yes, of course.

.... the main element of melodic structure of music...

is an interval close to the big second.

Thank you.

Let's begin!

The hunter suspects something. As if something is lurking.

The piano starts moving!

One, two, three...

You feel that something's in the air. Great!

You turn around. Very good. Scared eyes.

Don't turn yet, wait. Stay as you are.

Now turn!

Turn the other way. This won't do. Closer!

You saw an animal! A big and beautiful animal.

You quietly sneak closer.

You want to touch it. It's a beautiful animal.

Now talk to the piano.

What should I say?

What do you usually do?

Ask it something. Connect with the instrument.

Ask a question. Ask what its name is.

Maria.

It said something. The piano. Think.

- What did it say to you? - Its name is Maria.

I'll talk to him from now on. Clear? You'll be quiet.

Tell it your name. That way you'll get acquainted.

Maria.

It's so hot in here.

Climb on the piano now.

- What is it? - My horn broke.

OK. Let's take a break.

We'll break now, but later try to be bolder.

Let's start the press conference.

We'll raffle off Leo Saalep's concert poster between the reporters.

Five questions!

Come on, people!

Your questions? You, please.

How do you identify yourself?

Are you a cosmopolite or still an Estonian?

- Is that expressed in your music? - Very good, thank you. Leo?

See, I don't have any borders.

I stand aside from the common interpretation.

It doesn't matter for me...

whether you are gay, catholic or a jew. Or an Estonian.

It's important what you do.

You, please.

Only old farts come to Estonia. Those who have nowhere else to go.

Do you use an anti-wrinkle cream?

Does that help you with your music? Does it matter to you?

Indeed. Only old farts come here, as you said.

And the local journalists are illiterate fools...

who couldn't find work anywhere else.

Next question.

- Hi, Leo. - Hi.

Last question.

Have you finally found what you didn't find here?

Yes, I have...

You just need perspective and talented people...

who are capable of seeing the big picture.

A unique ability round these parts at that time.

I just wanted to ask...

The break is over. Let's continue with the photo session.

Leo! Leooo!

- Long time, no see. Hi again, Leo. - Hi.

- I'm so happy for you. - Yes...

So, hard work really does lead to brilliance.

- Who let that in? - But you yourself said that let her...

I said that if that thing comes, you won't let it in.

This place is a fucking hole. I can't get anything done here.

...4, 5, 6... I'll stay calm.

I told you that if you want, I'll tell her...

You'll kick her out now or we'll be leaving.

I can't start dragging her out of the room.

Why not? Kick her out!

A fucking hole. Can't get anything done here.

Stand up!

I really hope that I was wrong about you.

Don't say that.

I'm looking forward to see your performance.

I hope to see the miracle I couldn't see then.

I hope so too.

I'm expecting a miracle in my naive idealism.

But you must have amazing power to create something that...

I don't consider to be music.

But I guess there's a demand for that these days.

- Eeva, I want to tell you... - Let's begin.

You should go.

Let's continue.

Leo, loosen up a bit.

Now, everything is different. The feeling is existentialistic.

Show us what you've got.

Grab your head with your hands. What have I done? Me, a worm.

One last time.

Put it all out. Wait, I'll grab my camera.

You are a slave. Crawl under the piano.

- No! - What?

Leo, why aren't you going under the piano?

I don't want to.

Don't spoil everything again.

Don't argue and crawl under the piano. Go, go.

Go, go!

Very good. Now the piano starts moving.

Let's move.

- Let's put the foot on his throat. - Brilliant.

Very good. Suffer some more.

Turn your face here. I can't...

Leo, where are you going?

- Leo, open the door. - Go away!

You can't do that to me!

You said the photo session would be over in a minute.

Now I have to fool around in front of everybody.

You meant to say - in front of Eeva.

Is all my work worthless to you?

This photo session, it's a load of bull.

I won't do it any more.

- I just want to play the piano. - I knew she would make you crazy again.

Leo, pull yourself together. Don't listen to yourself.

Open the door, Leo. Damn it!

I'll give you 30 seconds and you'll come out then.

Starting now.

- The time is up. - No, I won't come with you.

I just want my music. I have decided.

You don't have any music and you know that.

Without me you just don't have a thing.

- I'm not listening to you. - You are my project, cute boy.

If you don't come out, I'll go and tell your Eeva...

and everybody else, what kind of a pianist you really are.

- Understand? - Go.

Go.

I am going.

I have feathers on my head. Quite funny.

- Was that all? - That's what art is about.

Damn it, even I am a better model.

Is that art or is he a great model?

Where is the genius? How long will he be?

Dear ink fuckers.

I'm sure you're wondering where our dear piano artist Leo Saalep is.

"Thousands of fans" are waiting for him in France, Italy, London...

I regret to say that the Leo Saalep you know...

Leo!

That's it! Very good.

Help! I'm stuck here!

What a revolt!

It's true that Leo Saalep's musical breakthrough...

happened in my studio...

where he discovered a whole new approach in his art.

I didn't see any miracle in your performance.

That kind of avant-garde has been done ages ago.

That was completely mainstream, Leo.

Blood. My blood, your blood.

Bloody you and me.

Nothing will tear us apart. I knew it.

We are together in common blood.

I have you to myself.

That was Leo Saalep! Thank you! The concert is over!

Buy our CD-s. Thank you, Tallinn!

This film is based on the play "Tabamata ime" (1912) by Eduard Vilde

Siim battered a big black snake behind the stack of firewood.

DON'T SHOOT THE PIANIST

Hello, Leo! The usual?

How long are you staying in the country?

Can't make it to your concert tonight. A long shift, as you can see.

Is Eeva in the kitchen?

- Probably. - Alone?

No idea. Why don't you see for yourself.

I feel like I'm in a spa.

Where?

Everything looks so goddamned healthy...

like you're surrounded by gaping rosy-cheeked children!

And do you know who they all look like?

- Well? - You.

A room always takes after its inhabitant.

I would get well here too.

And what's wrong with you, Leo?

I'm exhausted. I shouldn't have left.

It takes time to acclimatise?

But you Eeva, how are things with you?

I'm immune to the environment and to other people's praise.

I really had to leave.

Then you made the right choice.

You think so?

If you really did have to leave.

You don't know half of it.

For the last five years I've been whipped.

Whipped like a gypsy's horse.

You whipped yourself, didn't you?

That too, but the whip of others is more wearying.

I can't understand you.

Some truths don't wake until they've been properly shaken.

And what did the truth tell you when it awoke?

That I am a climber who has to carry the other on his back.

Was that all?

No, there was something else.

- Yes? - I am a man. And she is a woman.

What are you trying to say?

I've slaved away at the piano, day and night, from evening to dawn.

I've played my fingers to the bone. I've defeated so many other pianists...

some better than me, some worse.

But there is a bird struggling in my chest, not giving me any peace.

A bird?

I don't love her.

Leo, how exactly did you two get together?

It was rather simple.

I wouldn't tell you but your eye tears the wound open again.

Then tell me!

You, Eeva. I hated you all these years! You and myself.

- Both? - You more.

Why did you say you saw no miracle in my playing...

and thus pushed me into her arms?

A miracle?

Yes, that unique greatness that is always present...

when a genius plays.

Everyone else recognised it. But not you.

Hold on, what's that miracle got to do with us?

I never cared how you played the piano. Miracle or no miracle.

So you laughed at me all the time?

Leo, people always play badly in a pub.

You can't really hear anything and you were often drunk.

What miracle could there be?

So you just quietly buried me?

No, that's not true.

Were you waiting for me?

- Yes. - Why?

I don't know.

Another thing - I hear you went out with others in the meantime.

And are still carrying on?

Well, I wasn't sure you would come back, was I?

And you don't think this a bit odd?

It's nothing unusual. If one goes, another must take its place.

To fill the void.

Eeva!

Just a second, Leo! Does your wife know you're here?

Not yet.

Then leave it. I like things to be in order.

Leo, you have to play at a concert in a few hours time.

I will. Today I give everything I have to give.

Siim battered a big black snake to death behind the stack of firewood.

- What did you say? - Peace awaits me here.

- No, you said something else. - No, Eeva.

Would you like to rest? Lie down for a bit?

Half an hour, that would be nice.

- Whisky. - With ice?

No, no ice. Is Leo in the kitchen?

- Probably. - Alone? With someone?

I don't know. Why don't you see for yourself.

Hello... Lilli.

How did you find me?

Maybe I was peeping through the window.

Whatever. So how was your idyllic t�te-�-t�te?

I am happy to see it had such a wonderful effect on your mood.

Yes, I feel as if I've been at the mineral springs.

I am truly grateful to Miss Eeva for that.

Still, if you hadn't such a sensible wife then...

this kind of juvenile joke could easily lead...

to unpleasant domestic consequences.

Quite possibly. But let's talk about it after the concert.

Don't worry, I have no wish to irritate you before the performance.

From the point of view of a wise woman, this isn't too tragic.

My little boy should simply apologise, that's all.

It would be much better to drop this discussion for now.

You know, today I had time to reflect upon an important decision of ours.

Can you guess which one?

We cannot stay in this provincial town any longer.

What do you think, my pet? St Petersburg, Riga, Helsinki?

- I am going nowhere, that's for sure. - For sure?

For sure.

Does this mean you have somehow tied yourself down here?

Might have.

And how precisely, my dear boy?

Oh, yes, our kitchen maid! You promised her something?

What you thought to be mere smouldering embers...

was really a full-fledged flame of 8 years.

- Full-fledged? - Raging.

And you were able to conceal all this from me, Leo?

Besides, you seemed to really hate her, even wanted revenge.

I was amazed myself. I should have backed away from you earlier.

But I had no idea what was waiting for me here...

an open door or a closed door.

In the later case, I still would have needed you.

- Leo, have you been drinking? - No.

In my profession I needed your support and your material backing.

You of course counted on my future laurels.

This is pure madness!

I'm not complaining - just trying to explain.

I can't believe my ears!

You stab me, your biggest supporter, in the back?

Have you forgotten that you wished for all of this?

Your enthusiasm was a useful inspiration.

But it went too far.

You love me! You loved me once and you will always love me!

- You are mistaken. - What do you intend to do?

- I am leaving you. - For her?

- Yes. It is all settled between us. - You are not going to do this!

I am, Lilli.

You can't afford to cast me aside like a worn jacket!

Yes, I can.

Eeva Marland is not the woman to hoist any sails...

she scares off the winds, she's an embodiment of stagnation!

The concert starts in an hour. And you will play there.

I will play here tonight!

You are not young any more.

Keep your nose out of this, Eeva!

What did you do to Eeva?

Leo, Leo .. .

Tonight, I will play here.

An unambitious idiot.

Juta Laurits?

Which newspaper was it?

"Versus". The culture section in "Ekspress".

See, I'm not sure if this information should...

I demand to see the supervisor!

But of course. It's your prerogative.

02 to Linda.

02 to Linda.

She's on her way!

- I told you it's no use. - Then we'll never find out.

But he is so cute!

Samantha's guy in 'Sex and The City' looks exactly like him.

- Yes. Yes. - So cute!

- I'd love to see him. - What are they talking about?

The artist arrived on the Transatlantic flight at 4:30.

- You got it! - But of course.

- I'm a journalist, aren't I? - Journalist my arse. What else?

They were caught in turbulence over the Atlantic...

and guess how they flew!

- By plane? - Upside down?

No. In ECONOMY CLASS!

No. Are you serious?

- That's really lame! - Totally lame!

Oh no, I can't believe it.

What an oaf! So she was the one?

Yes, she was.

But.. . It could be a blessing that your daughter didn't win...

that competition instead of her. - Well yeah, but get this...

you come and say you're writing a story but actually. ..

But still... Do you remember!

Back in the day, we too would have lost our heads...

over such a gorgeous and talented man.

Oh yes. Over Joala. We were crazy about him, weren't we!

Oh my God! Of course!

And over Linna! Although he is no Tom Jones.. .

- Came to comfort me? - Fatal woman!

- Fate to some but to others.. . - A demon !

- Abandoned. - Queen!

- You... - Venus...

You wouldn't have made me unhappy?

A warrior has his honour. But an artist! Aargh!

- Jar-shitter! - They have the women.

- Don't make me laugh. - Aaargh!

I was young when I whacked you.

Weak arm but a sharp blade.

- You deserved it. - The death penalty?

For having fun with Geishas. Oh yes.

Now I can't? But a husband can?

I'm not jealous. I like revenge.

- Hello, old hag. - Oh my, master of Kulli.

Can I whine?

What have you got to whine about?

The company's going down the drain. Agencies are taking over.

- Live big - die small! - I like your adverts.

That's the paradox. I cannot advertise myself.

But there's more meaning in your paintings.

What good are they if I die of hunger?

My wells of loan have dried up in this town.

I can believe that.

I can't walk on the streets anymore.

I will not start to grovel in front of the clients.

I will not sell some shit at the price of my salvation.

Maybe learn a new trade to feed your love of advertising?

No. I have my artistic integrity. I'd croak as a freelancer.

Oh well. How's your grand idea doing?

It's still dear to me but the client doesn't want to pay the right price.

This project should suit many, shouldn't it?

Yes, but I'm stuck as a small company.

Perhaps some help can be found from my budget wells.

Does the Ministry of Culture have a special budget for advertising?

I have long tried to enhance the prestige of Estonian culture

I feel that your idea is just what I need.

Perhaps the presentation needs a little tweaking?

Tweak the presentation? Oh. Chancellor. Life saver!

Stop. Stop. Stop it.

Tell me why do I have this feeling that's only describable in French.

- D�j� vu? - Yes, d�j� vu.

Listen, can I have some feedback or something?

Let me be a tiny bit of sceptical here.

Don't you feel that this text is kind of far from the original? Or something?

I'd like a coffee.

- Hey bring me one, too. - And me as well.

How long do we have to fuck around in the background?

I'll be with you in a sec. What's with you and that kiss?

- What about it? - Let's say it's a tad too passionate.

It signals the end of a transaction, it's not foreplay.

Oh? Let me remember.

Two people have just fallen in love. Rings the bell?

This here is a play. It's acting.

I'll eat my sable if this is a play.

While you were studying in Prague Magnus took advantage of Eeva.

Stabbed his friend in the back.

What has Leo got to do with a second-rate actress? Is ...

- It was something more. - I don't believe it.

Eeva was his finest critic. His best friend.

Maybe more.

Willy. Give me your willy!

- Well, genius! - Does everybody here mock me?

No. Are you doubting yourself?

I don't want this coffee. I need your advice.

- My advice? - Am I on the right track?

What does it look like to you?

I feel sorry for you.

- Everybody gives me praise. - Shut up.

I'm scared.

Do you remember...?

"I don't worry much about..."

"what's gonna happen"

"Can't be bothered to guess what others think"

"I know what I'm doing and this is how I like it"

"Little devil on my shoulder. Lifts its head tonight"

"I cannot resist him"

"Lounging on the couch, I read in my horoscope..."

"that I should get up to a little mischief tonight"

"Little devil on my shoulder. Lifts its head tonight"

"I cannot resist him"

"Lounging on the couch, I read in my horoscope..."

"that I should get up to a little mischief tonight"

"Little devil on my shoulder. Lifts its head tonight"

"I cannot resist him..."

- Shall we check your back as well? - Don't.

I'm your wife!

Your squeezing always makes them huge, they get infected.

- You could do with blood poisoning. - Take your place. Let's get started.

I want... flying!

- I invite you to ride on my member. - To blow the purple flute?

- Oh. Yes. - Dream on.

If your hours of abandonment become more frequent...

perhaps you'll sit on my lap at the party table. Then I'd prick you.

Try your luck.

Oh, how I hate you bastards.

Didn't we agree that each one will do one scene from the play...

and then we'll compile he movie.

And that we'll only use the theatre rooms.

Bastards.

Bastards Raat, Kilmi, Sarnet, K�rver and Maimik.

I'm the only idiot, who actually did it that way.

I started shooting first and still got the three scenes...

that no one else wanted.

You still have the balls to come and pat me on the back...

like it's some kind of edgy avant-garde Totally fucked-up.

Now we have three stupid scenes from a movie that was never made...

because you couldn't come to an agreement.

Starring Juhan Ulfsak as Mait Vaik.

Guy couldn't even bother to learn a dance for an old friend.

Did you see that?

Theatre Von Krahl presents

Based on the book "Elusive Miracle" by Eduard Vilde

I am a totally mediocre individual according to any point of view.

I am a predator.

There are no victims in nature. There is only a bigger wave...

that wraps a smaller one.

One can say that a wolf is a total of all the rabbits he has devoured.

The wolf is the biggest rabbit of all.

I hate culture. Culture is as annoying as money...

that is used by the lazy and stupid in order to earn their daily bread.

To me, the biggest problem of modern art is that...

the conventional view on art provokes young artists to create anti-art.

But now, as this anti-art is officially accepted...

it turns into art with a capital A.

Tell me, who should we fight against then?

- Against anti-art, of course. - No, Vedamik, I am serious.

I know you are an artist who has crossed the line of taboos with your work.

But crossing those lines is not shocking for the audience any more.

Can you understand that? It only causes a thrill of satisfaction...

in the audience, because the viewer has crossed the line inside of him already.

Then art you talk about is a piece of shit, dear critic.

It's very easy to shock the bourgeoisie with some kind of truth.

If you want to cross the line...

you have to come up with something more horrible and unexpected.

- That is the reason we are here today. - Exactly.

The subject of death has thrilled me for the last few years.

Everything announcing death gives life novelty and changes it.

I have planned some variations on that subject.

Wild woman!

Big night of performance - "Black Tick". Art, crossing the line.

Comeback of performance guru Leo Saalep.

Quality scissors, judging by sound.

Influences from Kulik.

The meta-text can be only compared with Rodgers.

A metempsychotic paradox.

- The genius' wife in person. - I am flattered, my young artist.

I am happy to be your young art...lover.

They are like living pieces of meat.

I have no sympathy for breathing meat.

I can love the society, but I hate each individual.

Saalep! Our tick in the West.

The origin of an artwork is art. What is art? Art on artwork is real.

That is why we are looking for reality in the work.

When wisdom started to lose it's weight, the word 'intellectual' was created.

Like the way Barthes is interested in the intellectuality of Broch.

But not as a free game of connections, but as a big synthesis of pieces of art...

that a person takes to his grave.

It is hard to define stupidity. It is not only a common opposite of reason.

Intellectuals are stupid.

Artaud finds that the best art shakes the consciousness.

Without consciousness there is no cruelty.

Cruelty.

Cruelty.

I want something that would draw the final line between me and the others.

That door would finally be locked...

and the key would be thrown behind the heater.

You seem very lonely.

(In Finnish) I do not speak Estonian. I am a technician from Finland.

He does not speak Estonian. He is a stagehand from Finland.

- Leo. - Immy.

Is he the one that sets up the stage for me?

Do you set up the stage for Saalep?

The stage is ready. You just need to push the machine inside.

Can there be any greater treasure than suicide...

which we all carry inside of us?

This is a private room for men.

That is why I came, to look for privacy with you.

Promise me that tonight you will give it your best shot.

Be the king. Be the king.

If not for yourself then for me. I do love you.

We are two bodies that have become joined only for personal gain.

Under the right circumstances, physical intimacy and sharing a home...

can indeed form something resembling love.

Leo, I am so lonely. Leo...

Bitterness is the fate of wise indifference...

in case talent is not accompanied by a conviction in superiority.

Only two things are real - banality and pain.

The rest is irony and the long wait for death.

Today I'll try to shake us all up from this lethargy.

So we'd stop whining about the boredom and ignorance of our lives.

In other words, using the antique definition of art...

be educational when entertaining.

Hell... it is the same as...

ass.

Not a single expression of eccentricity that belongs to the art sphere...

is still able to provoke the critics or at least surprise them.

Grotesque resembles us the lines, between which we find, besides the facts...

the rules arranging human life.

Freakishly masochistic self-sacrifice, as expressed by Saalep...

technically matches the definition.

Cannibalism is perhaps left outside the accepted lines.

Kull.

Kull has had a lot of work to do.

Fuck...

No, it is very good.

Pedak said that the discourse of death and self-destruction...

is right up her alley.

You know, my actions are beyond good and evil.

I am too light to condemn, but too heavy to justify.

You know, Saalep...

you are a complete idiot.

Choose the suitable prosthesis.

The operation is tomorrow at 9.

If hell is other people, then somebody else can call me hell as well.

It is easier to forget the bitterness...

and make your way with a dagger clenched in the hand.

May I start?

Priim�gi cultural theorist

There is not enough beauty in modern art.

Everything is ugly. Literature is ugly...

music is ugly, visual arts are ugly.

Not to mention film, even the few that get made in Estonia.

Beauty is wisdom, beauty is harmony...

as the great Plato told us.

The gods talk to us through beauty.

And in that lies the power of Leo Saalep's movie...

he returns to us the lost beauty.

Leo Sale resurrected the gods slain by Nietzsche...

he brought back Milton's "Paradise Lost".

While other directors have succeeded to produce...

only unconscious fragments then...

Saalep has created an entire universe.

He has woven the images into a noble quilt.

Gentlemen, a star is born!

Let's drink to Leo Saalep!

ELUSIVE MIRACLE

Based on Eduard Vilde's play

Adapted by Leo Saalep

Produced by Lilli Saalep

Starring: Mait Malmsten Merle Palmiste

Damn!

It's back again.

Toothache. I have no idea what's going on here.

Who are these people?

The only real thing here is my toothache.

Special thanks to...

Stop!

Wait, the premiere is not over yet.

Our premiere continues, please don't leave your seats.

I ask our beloved guests to remain in their seats.

Pull yourself together. Come on, Leo!

Merle, sweetie, let's go.

Come here, Merle, dear. Come closer.

Flowers. Flowers!

Flowers!

Thank you.. dear audience.

Can't hear you!

- Thank you so much. - Louder!

We can't hear anything.

I would like to tell you that I'm exhausted...

Testing, one, two...

One...

Can we find a technician?

Can we find a technician?

- The microphone isn't working. - Again?

- One, one, one... - One, one, One, two. One, one...

Maybe the cord is twisted.

That's it.

I'll detangle it. I'll do it myself.

Maybe it shouldn�t be like this.

It is twisted.

We apologize for the technical mishaps.

It happens.

- Is it working now? - It won't work.

It's scrap metal, not a microphone.

Can't we find something to replace it?

Just talk louder. I can't help you.

I would like to tell you that I'm exhausted.

Exhausted but happy.

Suck my dick!

Because I have devoted my life to this movie...

that has been keenly awaited.

Finally we have an Estonian movie...

that is a sophisticated work of art...

and at the same time appeals to larger audiences.

Suck my dick!

This is a movie...

so nuanced that even the harshest critics will discuss it, and yet...

it remains simple enough to take anyone on an emotional rollercoaster.

Suck my dick!

Don't we have a security guard here?

Please, take him away.

Fuck off!

Suck my dick!

Faggots!

We can always use some laughter in our lives.

I would also like to thank people who made this movie possible.

Actors. Our beloved actors.

Let's hear an applause!

And the film crew.

Please, stand up!

A round of applause!

We would also like to sincerely thank a person...

from the other side of the Great Pond.

Without him, there would be no movie!

Our sponsor J�rgenson from Canada!

And now let�s hear some words from our very own young genius.

Leo Saalep! Ovations!

- What am I going to say? - It doesn't matter. Say something!

- I hope that you forgive me this movie... - Louder!

- We can't hear anything. - Speak louder!

I was going to say that...

Forgive me...

I hope that you'll forgive me for this movie.

You could talk a little bit louder.

We still can't hear a word.

I ask you to forgive me for this movie.

It happens.

I mean, this isn't really a movie.

It's more like a poem.

Visual poetry.

It is getting a bit too complicated...

If we remember Andre Bazin's or Alexandre Astruc's...

theory about the "camera-pen"...

then we can say that the camera isn't merely a numb recorder of objects...

it can also be quill in the hands of a creator...

who can write a poem, a novel, a haiku and so on.

With this movie, what you see is what you get.

Many thanks to Leo Saalep!

And we hope to see you all in a minute at our modest banquet.

Merle! Merle! Where are you going?

You don't have a show today, do you?

- You will come, right? - I'll come for a moment.

Let's meet in fifteen minutes then. Thank you.

This bloody tooth!

Seems that the only thing that exists is me and my pain.

I'm nothing more than a bloody toothache.

Don't hesitate to come closer!

Ham and eggs! Champagne and vodka! We have everything!

Well, our true heroes.

Let's clink our "glasses".

Bon appetit!

- How are you doing? - Very well.

Do you have everything you need?

Hey, listen...

We talked earlier about this payment stuff...

What do you think, when is it possible to get...

Call me on the first Monday of next month...

- I will send you my invoice. - Yes, you do that.

The movie will pay for itself in no time.

Look at today's turn-out.

Well, the cinema wasn't full.

- It was a workday . - Was it by invitation only?

Yes, and it was the start of the week.

You know what the artsy crowd is like.

They haven't recovered from the weekend yet.

All right then...

Have a drink.

Thank you.

Wonderful dress.

Hello there, experts.

Thank you, thank you.

- Congratulations! - Thank you, I need that.

So, what are your first impressions?

I'll let the critics speak.

Well?

I think we need some time to digest it.

Don't be shy.

Expert reviews are always welcome.

Something to eat maybe?

Oh my god!

The camera work was very professional.

That I can say right now.

Thank you.

And Estonian actors, of course.

Hey, you haven't got a fucking clue.

What was this movie about? Can you tell me that?

You are like a dick in a pussy.

Fuck off! Just fuck off!

Real jokers... Come on now.

- You've become old and senile! - Fuck off.

Palmiste, movie star - How is Leo as a director?

You answer that.

Malmsten, movie star. - I liked his sweater.

A fine Estonian director.

He obviously felt the urge to make this movie.

Hmelnitski, childhood friend. - We have known each other since childhood.

I've always known that he's a true artist with an extraordinary vision.

And you see all of this in his latest work.

Leo, how do you feel now as a director of a feature film?

What?!

How do you feel now as a director of a feature film?

How do you feel?

What are your future plans?

I'm sorry, I can't hear a thing.

What's next?

Oh...I'd like to do something completely different!

I would like to make a movie...

about a boy who's deaf, dumb, blind and insane.

We could invest money in you but you should...

What are we talking about here?

We are talking about future plans.

We plan to make a sequel next year.

We could finance him but he has to prove himself.

Some short movies or...

I suggest you consider it...

because the audience is going to demand it.

Should I bring some more Martini?

Shall we discuss this right now?

Leo, maybe you could bring some Martini?

I'll bring it myself.

L�hmus!

We'll make the best film in Estonia.

Give us ten million!

We'll make the new "Horse whisperer"!

L�hmus is our favourite sponsor!

Let's lift him up!

Dear movie lovers.

I am happy to start another auction today.

You will have the opportunity to support homeless children...

and own a unique object from the set.

And this first item is the movie star's jacket.

This jacket was designed especially for "Elusive Miracle".

Here's the back. Very posh.

It'll decorate your shoulders and your home.

We shall start...

Of course you'd like to know the opening price on this dandy jacket.

Dr. Kull!

You should really write about this movie.

You are an opinion leader.

I appreciate that.

But "opinion leader" is an overstatement.

Nowadays, the real opinion leader is television.

For example, Eeva Marlandi's show...

I would appreciate it...

if you didn't bring up that hag.

What kind of an opinion leader is she?

She is a random socialite. Hush, quiet!

Don't say that, mother. Eeva is a perfectly decent person.

Perfectly decent? For god's sake...

- I've no idea what you see in... - ... the starting price is 2000...

If you want to make a bid, wave your hand.

Eeva Marland, what a surprise!

Hello!

Meet my boys from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy".

I'm going to produce a new TV show this summer.

How sweet. Kisses!

Leo can't drink yet. It's a little bit too early for him.

What are you doing, Leo?

On my sexy top. I chose it so carefully.

He can be so clumsy.

Lick it off.

Film this, Leo is licking me.

... and let�s continue with our auction.

The next item needs to be inspected more closely.

I'm happy to present to you - Merle Palmiste's bra!

A round of applause, please!

The starting price is 3000 kroons!

Please step up! 3000 kroons!

3010!

- Eh? - 3010!

It won't fit you, but it's a good bid.

3100 kroons!

That's a much nicer bid!

The lady knows the price of a good bra.

3100 kroons! Going once!

Patience, please! It is not yours yet.

3100 going twice!

3100...

Maybe the gentlemen would like to bid?

3100 going thrice!

And here's the winning bidder.

The winner should try this on.

Let's try this on.

Let's see whether it fits. The price seemed to fit.

A round of applause from the gentlemen!

The winner!

The winner also gets to close the winning bid.

3100! Sold! Applause!

And it is sold again!

Nine thousand! Ten thousand!

I can't keep up!

Here is the winner!

What did you like about this movie?

J�rgenson sponsor

You are putting me in an awkward position.

Let's say that the Estonian scenery is beautiful and interesting.

What do you mean by "scenery"?

You know, the hills and trees. That kind of stuff.

Dr. Kull, cultural critic. - I liked how the director was bold...

and had remained loyal to his Estonian roots.

The Estonian film tradition was clearly present.

Luckily, he had managed to avoid...

stooping to the level of narcissist Europeans.

We could sense the broader global ambitions.

Teinemaa, film critic. - Overall, I have to agree.

But then I pause and realize...

I have absolutely no idea what you're on about.

Was the movie good?

It was a bit odd... but otherwise good.

Why was it odd?

I don't really know.

Susan Sontag Anglo-American philosopher

Sweetie, what's with the sad face?

My head is full of my own thoughts.

Full of your own thoughts?

If you think so much, you'll get wrinkles.

You already have wrinkles. And what's this bump?

Is it really so painful?

Hey, give me a massage.

I've needed one all day.

Right here, rub me with your fingers.

Breathe on my neck.

So good.

The other side as well. Harder!

I'm buzzing all over.

Like I have ants in my pants.

Rub.

Check out the lovebirds.

Actually I wanted to talk about business.

I'm offering Leo a very comfy job.

A job? What kind of job?

See, I have this new show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"...

There are these five cute bumboys who'll all teach...

Suck my dick!

I want Leo to be the director.

Shove it up your ass!

I think that Little Leo is old enough to...

What makes you think that Leo wants that kind of work?

Why not? We have such a great team. We have so much fun.

Leo, do you really want to do something like this?

To go from an artist to a reality TV drudge?

Let me through, I'm going crazy!

Get out of the way!

This is my favourite song.

Leo, do you honestly want to do it?

I think I'd like it.

At least it is real.

What is going on between the two of you?

Answer my question! Leo!

Let's dance, everybody!

Please, go away!

Please! Take this man away!

Who let him in?

(Viimne reliikvia - P�gene, vaba laps)

Susan Sontag Anglo-American philosopher

They always ask which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I'm not able to delve into all these philosophical questions.

I'm only interested in film.

The ability to delve into these problems is...

in my opinion, the key to understanding this movie.

Mihkel Raud, columnist. - I'm sure there's a market for this kind of move...

and taking into account the local circumstances...

that market is probably quite remarkable.

Let's just say that I am a businessman, not a film director.

I really can't judge this movie.

- Do you have some painkillers? - I have vodka!

You need a cup too?

Fuck it! Take this one!

I have shit too!

A bite of shit to go with the drink.

This is good zakuska.

Have you got a minute? Have a seat.

I want to talk to you.

You guys, make some room. He is going to sit here.

All right. We all fit in here, right?

Everything is OK. There's room for everybody.

One thing bothered me about your movie.

Otherwise it was OK but one thing was off.

It was too lifeless.

- It's all style, not enough life. - That's right.

Yes, not enough life. It just had to be said.

Otherwise it was... the style part was fine.

Not enough shit and piss.

Fucking ass! Do you know what I want?

I want movies bursting with blood and sperm!

Movies that have life, not just style. You understand?

Fuck me!

What are you doing here? Come here.

Don't you see that I'm talking to my friends?

I'm not letting him go, we're having a discussion.

I have some thoughts.

Please don't be like this. Don't be so difficult.

Do you think I'm doing this for fun?

I can put an end to this circus right now.

I can go back to real estate.

This isn't a circus!

We are having a serious discussion.

But mother! Mom!

Who is going to take care of the production then?

- ME! - Yes, he's the one.

Is this really a joke to you?

Do you really want to get rid of me?

- FUCK ME! - I don't know, I...

Get away from them!

- This party is done! - Leave us alone, fucking bitch!

Leo!

I was just asked...

The Moscow guests have arrived.

FUCK ME!

Don't be afraid, I won't abandon you.

I am a responsible person.

Hey!

Do you have some pills?

For a toothache?

No problem.

Push it into the cavity. Don't swallow.

Just suck it.

By the way... Listen to me.

Have you tried that new "Half-Life"?

Is it as good as the first one?

The graphics are so realistic. Fucking insane.

I think everything should be replaced with computer games.

All this culture!

This movie and the whole semiotics thing...

should be replaced with computer games.

Because only then it is possible to spread the idea...

of the harmony of the universal universe.

Together with the appropriate drugs, of course.

Leo! Leo!

I'm devastated!

You abandoned me.

Now you are coming with me and giving me a massage.

Leo, remember who is behind everything.

The unmoveable mover.

The invariable variable.

Focus here. And breathe on my neck.

Rub this side. That feels so yummy.

Let's hear what the famous TV-star thinks about our humble movie.

Me?

I think that this is not the right place...

This is the perfect place.

I want to hear you say it.

Why do you keep blabbering about that art all the time?

I think life should be enjoyed.

Enjoy, Lilli!

Look how cute your Little Leo is.

You are a very talented masseuse, by the way.

Miss Marland, everybody is very interested in your opinion.

I think...

I think... this movie was utter crap.

Utter crap. Rubbish.

A shitty movie.

Honestly.

I think even Leo knows it.

Isn't that so, Leo?

But no hard feelings. I love you all.

Good bye!

If no one needs me, I might as well leave.

I don't need Estonian cinema, Estonian cinema needs me!

What did I do?

You've been provoking me all night. Don't deny it.

You tried to upset me on purpose!

What did I do to upset you? Don't be stupid.

Lilli, come back.

I didn't do anything. You agree, don't you?

Jukukalle, opinion leader. - I think that Leo Saalep...

wrote that lighthouse murder story mostly for himself.

They are the daydreams of a wanker.

When I was a little boy, my family watched Tarkovsky's "Nostalgia".

Twenty minutes of a flowing creek and so on.

My mother and brother were lying on the floor and...

were totally digging it, but I just didn't get it.

From then on, I don't care much for symbolist imagery.

Who was the one that invented film imagery?

Film should be like photography.

It is photography that is recorded on film.

Pictures should just come one after another, simple as that.

Kadri A., actress - I honestly didn't get it...

but the acting was good, as always. Right?

Some better than others.

The costumes were very nice.

Nestor, editor of a cultural magazine. - 'Metaphysical bullshit' meets 'overstylized crap'.

Do you think that this here is reality?

This is an illusion of reality.

I can make it disappear. I can show you if you want.

Did you see that? Pure willpower...

can make everything disappear.

I can drink vodka without tasting it.

The pain is gone. The tooth is no more.

As if I'm on a desert island, building a new boat.

Wrestling with the sea winds.

Nothing but you and me.

Leo, please say something.

- Oh shit, I can feel it again. - Lilli, have fun, come on.

Leo, say something, please!

I think that Eeva is right.

It's not a movie I can be proud of.

It's not a good movie.

Why are you nagging him? Leo is a grownup.

He knows what he's doing.

Look at yourself.

Look at what you've achieved.

You've got all these film people wrapped around your finger.

And we all see you as the Messiah...

who is putting Estonian film on the map.

This is our night. Don't ruin it.

I haven't ruined a thing. Take it easy, Lilli.

You always have to make a scene.

Boys!

Lilli, what are you doing?

What are you doing here?

I blowing this place up.

- Why? - You're asking why? Look here.

This is Estonian culture.

They don't produce anything, they are parasites.

We keep fattening them up...

and in return, we get only crap.

Of course, you'll be changing careers.

Why? I like making movies.

Promise me that you'll stop making movies!

- But I'm talented... - Enough of that bullshit!

All right, I can see that your tooth aches.

Let's make a deal.

I'll give you a pill that takes away all the pain.

Forever.

And you have to promise to never make another movie.

Agreed?

I don't know...

- I'm not sure... - Think fast.

The clock is ticking.

Leo! Speech time!

Mommy dearest is calling you.

This is getting dangerous. I have to move on.

Leo, have you lost your mind?

Hey dude. Give me 25 kroons.

I need another beer.

You're not as talented as you look.

You are not that talented.

There are only two great directors in Estonia.

One is Kadri K�usaar, of course.

And the other one is... Of course...

Well...

You are this filmmaker, right?

I'm a simple man, I can't stand pricks like you.

Come outside. Let's arm-wrestle.

Then we'll see who's the man.

Where are you going?

We are not a charity. We are the Ministry of Culture.

Ignore them. They just want to use you.

Only together we will reach the top.

Do you understand that?

Leo, you are too soft.

Grow a pair, don't let them walk all over you.

I'll be fine in a minute. The sea calms me down.

The sea is my element.

My toothache is gone.

I feel almighty.

I'll fall for the first girl I see, just you wait.

Maybe not the very first one...

What's your name?

What's your name?

Are you talking to me?

My name?

Maarja.

Cool name.

My name is Leo. Saalep.

Have you heard of me?

Sorry, no.

- You are very beautiful. - Thank you.

You're not so bad either. Thanks.

Suck my dick!

No one ever thanks the critics.

The artist gets his due when he is...

in that...whatchamacallit...

when he lies in his big coffin, everyone looking at him.

But no one ever remembers the critics.

That comes with the job.

There was no moon in the sky tonight.

Something is wrong.

I have something to tell you.

It is red...

I didn't see a miracle in your acting, Leo.

What miracle?

The dazzling, shocking kind of miracle...

that you see in the acting of artists. I didn't see a thing.

ELUSIVE MIRACLE Based on Eduard Vilde's play

This is the man.

Strange. More than strange.

Don't you get the feeling that sky is too low here.

And there's nothing but a swamp lying at your feet.

No, I have room above my head and a firm ground beneath my feet.

I have news for you.

You will get the part. I talked to Eagle today.

Have you been smoking?

- Have you been smoking? - No, I haven't.

Oh my god, you have a zit. Be careful.

But listen, Eagle wanted Ermine, didn't he?

Ermine has angina.

But which of my plays has he seen?

What plays? Are you a complete idiot?

You don't have to see any plays.

Especially here, in Estonia, where it's so dark, the climate so bad.

You'd recognise a genius from a mile away.

A genius is one big entity.

You are my play. My silver bear...

Lilli, you are like honey to me.

Whispering sweet nothing, are we? Pull yourself together.

Eagle will be at your premiere, Beaver too.

I don't know...

What if they don't like me? What if my acting's shitty?

The day after tomorrow?

I don't know if I can make sense of this situation.

It's mentally exhausting, depressing, sad even.

But I'm still so happy. What if I haven't got the energy?

But Leo, I love you. You are a great actor, a genius.

I think it's good that the part is depressing.

It demonstrates better what you have inside.

Everyone will see how deep an actor you are.

Leo, this is our big day. Give it everything you've got.

Pull yourself together. Be a king!

Dolby.

Dolby surround.

I didn't think bears could cry.

Of course they do. All strong creatures cry.

Look here for a sec. Eyes up.

Eva, you alone understand me.

You, Eva!

Leo! Hello! Take a seat.

I was expecting you until 2. I'm filling in for Marta, she has angina.

I made some coffee, want some? And there is milk and honey.

Honey, if it's not too much trouble.

You've got to have honey. Thanks.

- You want some as well? - Yes.

Oh, hello, maestro. Shall we sweeten our mouths with dialogue?

Tell me, are you still self-employed?

- Hello. - Well, hello.

How's our genius doing? Hand tired of signing autographs?

Take a seat.

So, director Eagle, meet Lilli. Lilli, Eagle.

Pleased to meet you.

Well, we've started generating publicity for the movie.

Publishing articles, interviews...

People are already excited, they can feel that it'll be good.

This is a completely novel movie for Estonia.

So don't get all too stuck up.

I wanted to talk about this.

These two days we have planned for shooting in Uruguay...

they are essential for the screenplay.

- Are they coming along? - Ah, listen.

Do you think we are business sharks?

Naturally, we don't know the first thing about art...

but it's your movie. It's perfectly obvious.

If you need this, we trust you.

That is, if you need something, you will get it.

Another thing.

I know you are looking for the male lead.

Right. I've finally found him.

Eagle, I'd like you to be open to suggestions.

Relax.

Look at me.

- This is your man. - Who? What man?

Take a good look. He's a fine man.

- What do you mean? - Naturally, it is your decision.

But I want you to make the right one.

- I don't understand. - What is there to understand?

- Don't you trust us? - He's a very talented man.

This is the man!

Are you kidding me?

- He's all wrong for the part. - Listen, Eagle.

I'm beginning to think that YOU are all wrong for us.

I think that what we have here is a mentally unstable artist.

Are you ready to go to on set? Do you know what team work is?

Team work is based on trust, trust and more trust.

Wait a minute, what is she on about? Who are you anyway?

Well, excuse me, but I have things at stake.

I have poured hard cash in this.

Lilli means that she has invested a lot in this film.

- Can you say the same? - I'm the one making this move.

- I'm responsible for the quality. - Well, I can swear....

that Leo will not bring down the quality.

- What Leo? Who the fuck is Leo? - Oh, look at Mr. Artist here.

- Where was he before? - Let's keep things civil.

Mr. Eagle meant to point out that he hasn't decided yet.

Look at him! He's not capable of deciding!

And I refuse to work with Eagle...

until his GP certifies him as mentally stable.

What the fuck are you talking about? My GP?

I won't have this man in my movie!

- It's not your movie anymore! - Go fuck yourself!

You know, Lilli can't just leave empty-handed.

Take them the certification.

Oh, shit...

Do you have a band-aid or something?

- Blinding pain? - Shit!

This is not how things work in theatre.

It's a drama theatre, not the fucking gladiators.

Thanks, I have to go now.

Work fit for an animal.

Listen...

Did you really wait for me to come back?

- I know that you are dating Ermine. - I can't live alone.

When one leaves, another must take his place.

Otherwise, my bed will be empty and cold.

I want to be there. It's my place. Always has been.

How are things with your wife?

She's different. She doesn't understand me.

- Does she know this? - Not yet.

Right.

Let's drop it then. I can't stand clowning around.

- Do you love Ermine? - No.

They always lack something.

They always make a fool of themselves. Always.

You don't like clowning around. You like order.

- Thy will be done. - My kingdom come?

Oh yes!

A thousand-year kingdom of honey.

You see...

I don't need blind followers anymore.

Now I act by myself. Now I am great.

I don't need a ladder anymore.

I'm sorry to disturb your peace.

You have a show in a few hours.

And tonight I'll give it my all.

And you will watch me without any prejudice for the first time.

You will like it. I'm a brand new man.

You should calm down. Have some honey.

- Are you a big reader? - Yes. Especially in the winter.

I never read. I'm as dumb as an actor.

Are actors dumb?

Have you ever seen an actor talking about anything but the theatre?

No artist talks about anything other than their art.

- Can I ask you a favour? - Well?

After this... can I stay with you?

Yes, you can.

- But not until... - Yes, I will tell her.

- Can I come tonight? - You're welcome.

You really need some rest.

I can't believe that tonight I'll be in Sun's embrace!

Well, this Sun is releasing you for now. Have a good rest.

I'm going shopping.

Hey, that movie you made in your senior year was very OK.

Who remembers that? No one has even seen it!

No, a lot of people liked it.

Fucking bastard! I trusted you! You little artist bastard!

You are biting the hand that feeds you! Fuck!

My poor man Leo is under a spell.

Eeva Marland is not the woman to hoist any sails...

Eeva Marland scares off the winds, she's an embodiment of stagnation!

For god's sake, Leo!

You don't even realise what you're giving up for Eeva's bed.

Do you know what you've done? You have strangled your art.

FUCK!

Peace is not your home, Leo.

Your home is crowded and only I can offer you that.

This blessed dream is over.

And nobody asks what will happen to me.

Why don't you ask what will happen to me?

Leo, I love you.

Shit, to think of all the dough I wasted on you.

I will destroy you.

We are wild people.

The cultural climate bites us the most viciously.

Someone's here.

Oh, how I wanted to get out of the deep forest.

I knew all the secrets of the forest, except what is beyond the forest...

from where the sun rises and to where it sets.

I had to know and I wriggled out.

- Did you see how he raged? - What a portrait of his soul!

How many times have I seen him ! But only today I heard the real him.

This interpretation got to this demon's deepest secrets!

It's as if our genius has acquired the most profound deepness of the mind.

It was a sermon you don't hear every day.

- What a command of the material! - What a spectrum of emotions!

It was the first time that this stage saw that kind of fury.

It was like a revelation.

Indeed, it was a sermon you don't hear every day.

You have done good work with your boy.

The man is playing like an old master or a young god.

May I have your attention for a moment?

It is understandable that a artist, confident in his genius...

would use any means necessary to achieve his goal - public recognition.

However, the path is long and steep.

But what to do if that glorious day never comes?

The years pass by, but we stand still.

Playing for half-empty halls.

Life makes you resourceful, gentlemen.

So resourceful that you choose your wife not for love...

but rather for what you can gain from her.

Naturally, this "convenient wife" is stronger than her unborn genius.

A genius that climbs into the womb of his new mother...

and begs her with his watery eyes: "Give me life!"

The "convenient wife" is also a good project manager...

buying roles for his man from time to time.

Yes, Leo, I bought you your Honeybear costume.

But if our yet unborn genius goes mad in his mother's belly...

starts to brag, the mother may very easily get nauseous.

In that case, she will cut the umbilical cord...

and throw the unborn genius into the trash.

Yes, it's a stillborn genius.

There are no irreplaceable geniuses.

There are millions of you.

Eeva!

- Lying! You're lying! - No, I'm not.

Of course you are. It still wasn't there?

No, it wasn't. I didn't recognise any miracle in your playing, Leo.

Maybe you're not able to recognise it?

I can see that you're not ready yet.

You don't see that applause is not love.

Is it so hard for you to give some of your faith?

- Do you still have faith? - I have to!

What's left for me otherwise?

You can finish this. It'll calm you. Water with honey.

Is Leo Saalep burnt out?

Subtitles ripped and edited by