All language subtitles for Sex.Education.S02E02.NF.WEBRip

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali Download
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian Download
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi Download
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam Download
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian Download
pl Polish Download
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala Download
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil Download
te Telugu Download
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,720 ♪ Ah, push it ♪ 2 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,160 ♪ Ah, push it ♪ 3 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,200 Oh. 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:20,960 Oh, yeah. 5 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:22,920 Okay. 6 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,160 Talk to me. 7 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,840 ♪ Oooh, baby, baby ♪ 8 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:30,840 Hello. 9 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,280 ♪ Baby, baby ♪ 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,520 ♪ Oooh, baby, baby ♪ 11 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,040 Tell me what you're doing to me. 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,960 Um, we're gonna... We're having sex, we're having intercourse. 13 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:40,480 And, uh... 14 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,080 Have I been bad? 15 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:44,440 I don't know, have you? 16 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,640 Oh, for God's sake, Colin! Just call me a dirty bitch. 17 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,880 - I don't know if I want to. Uh... - Say it. 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,120 Uh... 19 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,280 - Say it! - Uh... 20 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,120 - Uh... - Say it! 21 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,600 Okay! Uh, you're... you're... you're a lovely little female dog. 22 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,520 You're lovely. 23 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,400 ♪ Ah, push it ♪ 24 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:09,960 ♪ P-p-p-push it ♪ 25 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,040 ♪ Push it ♪ 26 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,960 Parade, shun! 27 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,600 Slope arms! 28 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,680 General salute. 29 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,480 Present arms! 30 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,280 Slope arms! 31 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,920 Not my fault, sir. The rifle's broken. 32 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,920 We don't deal with excuses in this establishment, Groff. 33 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,160 Keep practicing, 34 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,720 and try asking some of your peers to help you. 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,960 I don't need help, sir. 36 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,040 We all need help sometimes, son. 37 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,680 Parade will turn to the left. 38 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,200 Left turn. 39 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,200 To your duties. 40 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,480 Fall out! 41 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,120 Everyone inside. Get your breakfast. 42 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,816 - Come on, man, give it... - What's wrong? 43 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,560 This isn't funny, just give me back the hat. 44 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,240 - What's wrong with him? - Hey! 45 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,760 Give me the hat. 46 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,320 - Give me the hat. - Don't be a pussy, Luke. Oi, Groff! 47 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,160 Nice one, muppet! 48 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,560 Sorry. 49 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:47,840 Bad luck, new kid. 50 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,080 - War. - Yeah, all right. 51 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,200 Um, I'm late for school. 52 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:43,440 Yeah... 53 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,120 How long are you going to be? 54 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,680 - Morning. - Has Jakob moved in? 55 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,680 No. Why? 56 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:00,880 Bathroom is free. 57 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,480 Darling, I've been looking through your SRE textbook. 58 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:13,640 There is no mention of female pleasure at all. 59 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:18,400 I was thinking of talking about it today in assembly, what do you think? 60 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,160 I don't know. 61 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,240 Otis. 62 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,200 I'd like your opinion, please. 63 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,680 - Why? - I've never worked with teenagers before, 64 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,680 and you are a teenager. 65 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,600 Yep, I'm a teenager who... 66 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,840 doesn't want their mother talking about sex at his school. 67 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,680 There has been a sexual health crisis, 68 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,160 and it's my duty to help. 69 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,400 You know, he is right. 70 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:42,920 It is a bit strange. 71 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,120 Mmm, I mean, 72 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,200 my mum's a sexual health expert so it's not that strange, actually. 73 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,640 Which doesn't mean you should have said yes. 74 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:56,720 Would you prefer to call me Mum or Dr. Milburn at school? 75 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,080 Neither. I'll be pretending you don't exist. 76 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,320 Otis. 77 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,440 Okay. Just try and... 78 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:08,400 Try and be a bit... 79 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,960 Try and be less intense. 80 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,440 It freaks people out. 81 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,760 And it's embarrassing. 82 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,800 I don't know, Mum, just be normal. Try and be more relatable. 83 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,920 Whatever, just don't humiliate me. 84 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,320 Bye, darling. I'll see you later. 85 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,000 You want a smoothie? 86 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,360 No. 87 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,200 ♪ And I watch you with your purse From the adjacent coffee table ♪ 88 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:49,240 ♪ At the Starbucks they built Inside my heart ♪ 89 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,880 ♪ When your makeup starts to run You can see you're getting older ♪ 90 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,440 ♪ You can see your life has been hard ♪ 91 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,800 ♪ Your face is worn Like an old playing card ♪ 92 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,720 ♪ The Queen of Hearts ♪ 93 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,720 ♪ The Queen of Hearts ♪ 94 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,840 My mum is everywhere. 95 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,840 It's like it's her mission to ruin my life. 96 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,360 - Were you up all night wanking again? - No. 97 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,960 I've got a handle on that, actually. 98 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,456 I didn't sleep much because I've been doing research. 99 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,240 - Research? - Yeah. 100 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,360 So, Ola and I were kissing the other night 101 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:42,360 and she kept guiding my hand down to her... area. 102 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,480 - So I've been looking up... - Fingering! 103 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,360 Don't yell "fingering," please. 104 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,280 But, yes, 105 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,320 she's coming over later, and I think I'm fully prepared. 106 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,120 Well, Otis, it's a vagina. It's not an exam. 107 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,720 Actually, it's very complicated. 108 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,376 - Okay. - I've been learning about something 109 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,400 - called the clock technique. - Oh, my God. 110 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,360 Otis, I think you might be overthinking this. 111 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,480 She knows I'm a sex therapist now. I need to get this right. 112 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,400 Why is Angel Man staring at me like he's plotting my death? 113 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,880 I don't know. French people are intense. 114 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,920 - Morning, dickhead. - Oh, hey. 115 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,880 - I've got an 8:30 and an 8:45. - Okay. 116 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,200 Why... why do you look so clean? 117 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,520 - What does that mean? - It's just an observation. 118 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,680 Your aptitude scheme, of course. Very professional, Maeve. 119 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,800 Shut up. 120 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,560 Can you do a session after school today, by the way? 121 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,400 Uh, I can't. I'm going to the fair. 122 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,840 I thought you hated rides. 123 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,960 Yeah, but Ola loves them, so... 124 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,520 Are you going to be there? 125 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,200 Funfairs are simply a distraction from the inevitability of death. 126 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,160 Oh, I guess they are. 127 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,760 - Hmm. - Have fun with the smart kids. 128 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:12,840 You look great. 129 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,960 - Oh, hey! How you doing? - Hey. I'm good. 130 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,640 This is nice. Shall we, uh... 131 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,800 Oh, hi, Jackson. 132 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,240 Hey, I'm sorry about your hand. 133 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,440 - At least you don't have to swim anymore. - What are you talking about? 134 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,280 - You said you didn't want to swim. - Listen, Maeve, 135 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,080 you're not my girlfriend anymore, all right? 136 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,600 So you don't need to pretend that you care. 137 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,800 Whatever it is you thought I said, you're wrong. 138 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,560 Don't worry. You're gonna be fine. 139 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,840 - May I sit here? - Uh... 140 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,520 Yes. 141 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,080 Yeah, we'll find other seats. 142 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,680 No. No, no. I mean next to you. 143 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,320 Okay, sure. 144 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:27,360 Rahim, you may sit with us. These people are insignificant. 145 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,280 No, I'm fine here. Thank you. 146 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,920 Good morning, Moordale. 147 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:38,880 Today we shall be hearing from a sexual health expert 148 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,800 who is here to review the school's sex education curriculum. 149 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,800 Please give Ms. Milburn... a very warm welcome. 150 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,240 Hello. 151 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,080 My name is Dr. Milburn, 152 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,480 and I'm here to start an open conversation 153 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,560 about S-E-X. 154 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,520 Uh, sex. 155 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,320 We adults know that some of you are having sex 156 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:17,520 because when we were your age, some of us were having sex. 157 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,840 In fact, many of us still have sex. 158 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:27,320 I'm sure even Headmaster Groff sometimes has sex. 159 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:32,360 And so, I would like you to tell me 160 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:37,080 what you would like on your sex education curriculum. 161 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,240 Take control. 162 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:50,480 Perhaps you'd like to know about the female orgasm... 163 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,360 ...or mutual masturbation. 164 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,320 Or maybe you've always wondered, 165 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:03,040 is my labia a normal length? 166 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,480 What I'm saying is... 167 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,920 ♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪ 168 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,960 ♪ Let's talk about you and me ♪ 169 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,480 Didn't you wank off a courgette? 170 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,240 Courgette! Courgette! 171 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,200 Courgette! Courgette! 172 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,160 Courgette! Courgette! 173 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,320 Courgette! Courgette! 174 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,400 Courgette! Courgette! 175 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,760 Anyway... 176 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,920 ...there will be an empty box at reception. 177 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,560 If you have any questions, it is anonymous, 178 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,400 so put anything in there that you would like to see 179 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,000 - in the curriculum. - Courgette wanker! 180 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,240 Thank you very much, Moordale. 181 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,080 I'm sure we would like to say thank you to Ms., uh... 182 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,520 Forgive me, Dr. Milburn, for her... 183 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,200 I don't understand why everyone is laughing at this nice lady. 184 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,160 Uh, uh... 185 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,880 Because it's high school. 186 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,760 ...happening this evening, um, available at all prices. 187 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,560 - Please be careful... - I'm Rahim. 188 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:20,840 ...nut allergies... 189 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,600 Uh, I'm Eric. 190 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:23,960 ...said issues... 191 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,200 Goodbye, Eric. 192 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,600 Bye. 193 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:32,240 ...nice place to go. I highly recommend you, uh, you sign up to that. 194 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,360 What was that? 195 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,600 - Ah. Emily, howdy. - Good morning, Mr. Hendricks. 196 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,400 Now I see where you get your terrible sex therapy skills from. 197 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,640 Fancy putting in a question? 198 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,160 No. Nay. Thank you. 199 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,280 Um... 200 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,080 I'm usually the person who answers the awkward questions. 201 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,120 - I'm Colin Hendricks. - Oh... 202 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,680 - You're the SRE teacher. - Yes. 203 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,920 Mr. Groff? 204 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:18,400 I'd really like to observe one of Colin's SRE classes, please. 205 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,600 As I keep saying Ms. Milburn, our curriculum is quite satisfactory. 206 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,440 Well, if it's as... 207 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,880 satisfactory as you keep saying, then you won't mind 208 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,640 if I sit in on one of the classes. 209 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,400 Of course not. 210 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,760 But I'm sure that any questions that appear in this box 211 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,240 will very easily be answered by Mr. Hendricks, isn't that right, Colin? 212 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,400 Uh... 213 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:40,480 Absolutely. 214 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,920 Yes. Yes. 215 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,280 I am, um, I'm-I'm a master of sex. 216 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,640 Very good. 217 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,160 Good day. 218 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,960 The school is right behind you, Jackson. 219 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,560 We will do everything in our power to support your speedy recovery. 220 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:07,560 Thank you, sir. 221 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:12,240 However, your parents and I feel it would be in your best interest 222 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,440 to be paired with an academic tutor for the rest of term. 223 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,360 A peer. 224 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,160 But my... my grades are fine. 225 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,000 Well, you can get by on fine when you're a star in the pool, 226 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,800 but when you're not... you have to work as hard as everybody else. 227 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,120 Good morning, brains of the future. 228 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,800 I'm very happy to welcome Maeve Wiley to the program. 229 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,320 Make her feel at home, please. 230 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,440 All right. 231 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,480 Let's read out our ten-years'-time essays. 232 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,560 We have to read them out loud? 233 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,080 Who wants to go first? 234 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,640 I strive for excellence in everything I do. 235 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,160 The points I gain from my extracurricular activities 236 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,560 will earn me a place in Oxbridge where I will... 237 00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:00,240 Compete in the IFBB Bodybuilding Championships whilst... 238 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,360 Keeping me on track to become the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 239 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,960 by the age of 30, which will... 240 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,080 Land me an Erasmus scholarship to NYU Film and Television School 241 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,160 and then I'll make investigative documentaries using my... 242 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,400 Purple penis hands. 243 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,080 The Chronicles of Glenoxi is an epic alien love comic book series 244 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,200 that will be made into a global movie franchise 245 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,760 and eventually be screened in space. 246 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,320 Right, last but not least. 247 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:28,880 Maeve, you're up. 248 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:38,320 I left my essay at home, Miss Sands. Sorry. 249 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:42,120 Maeve, this class is for people who want to plan for their future 250 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,920 and optimize their opportunities. 251 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,280 Organizational skills are key. 252 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:47,760 Don't let it happen again. 253 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,720 All right, uh, thanks to Maeve, you can all... 254 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,600 head off to lunch early. 255 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,080 Oh... eh, um, uh... 256 00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:00,360 On a side note, since Nigel moved back to Australia, 257 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,280 the Moordale Quiz Heads are looking for a new member 258 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,960 to join the team and compete 259 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,400 at the National Student Quiz Championships this year. 260 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,680 So, who's interested in joining Viv, Dex and Steve 261 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,120 in representing their school? 262 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,040 Oh, right, all of you then? 263 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,640 Okay, well, I'll make my decision by tomorrow. Off you go. 264 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:34,040 Man, I just don't get why Maeve Wiley is in this class. 265 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,920 Are you Vivienne Odesanya? 266 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,200 Yeah, that's me, why? 267 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,240 - Jackson Marchetti. - I know who you are. 268 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,080 Okay. 269 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,760 So, Headmaster Groff said you'd tutor me this term? 270 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:51,680 Did he now? 271 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,720 Apparently, you're the smartest kid in the school. 272 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,040 That's true, but I'm also busy. 273 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,200 Okay, wait, wait, wait. 274 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,361 Headmaster Groff said he'd give you extra credit if you'd help me out. 275 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,320 And we don't actually have to do any work. 276 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,920 I've just got to keep Groff happy until I'm back in the pool. 277 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,320 - Okay. Your first session's tonight. - Yeah? 278 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,600 Yeah, but it's the fair tonight. 279 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,600 Listen, my schedule's organized for optimum time management. 280 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,680 Take it or leave it. 281 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,720 Picnic tables, six o'clock. 282 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,080 Bring your maths homework, and don't be late. 283 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,400 Should have seen this smug look Ola gave me earlier. 284 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,040 I don't like her. 285 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,560 Why? She seems nice. 286 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,400 She's still hung up on Otis. 287 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,680 It's got nothing to do with Otis. I'm over him. 288 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,800 - How you getting on with your form? - Everyone has a thing except me. 289 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,000 I'm hoping this form is gonna tell me what my thing is. 290 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,040 - Your thing? - Yes, my thing. 291 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,680 You have your feminine books. 292 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,920 - Feminist. - Steve has his Quiz Brains thing. 293 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,040 Quiz Heads. 294 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,880 So great being part of the team. 295 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,400 What's so good about it? 296 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,080 Well, facts are fun, 297 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:06,360 and if we get through to the final, it's going to be a very big deal. 298 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,160 What's your form say? 299 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000 It says I should be a baker. 300 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,000 Aims, I think it might be banker. Baker's not on there. 301 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,800 Banker? 302 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,440 Hmm. 303 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,320 I think I'm going to stick with baker. 304 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,360 I do really like toast. 305 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,160 Wow. 306 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,760 Maeve thinks she's so scary and revolutionary 307 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,640 just because she used to have pink hair. 308 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,976 Is it because she hangs out with your boyfriend all the time? 309 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000 No. 310 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,400 She's just not my kind of person. 311 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,040 Why? Do you think it's weird that they run the sex clinic together? 312 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,600 Yes. 313 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,240 - So, how's it going with Otis? - Good. 314 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,040 Yeah, well, kind of. Yeah, we're taking things slow. 315 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,200 Which is fine. 316 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,560 I sometimes just wish we'd move along a bit, you know. 317 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,120 Not overthink so much. 318 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,840 Has he touched your vagina? 319 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:10,920 Not yet. 320 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,800 He sort of hovers and then loses his nerve. 321 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,920 It's... really frustrating. 322 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,160 - Just tell him what you want. - I think it'll freak him out. 323 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,440 Human boys are so fragile. 324 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:40,600 - Such an idiot. - What are you laughing at? 325 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,000 Nothing. 326 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:45,800 Then what's so funny? 327 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,520 Luke spilled some water and it looks like he's pissed himself. 328 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:51,880 You need to chill out, man. 329 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,760 Look... 330 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,240 grab it with your right... 331 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,080 and let your left slap it. 332 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,840 Took me ages to get it as well. 333 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:26,760 Is this okay? 334 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:27,880 - Yeah. - Yeah. 335 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,080 Okay. 336 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,240 Yep. 337 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,520 Oh! 338 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,160 Oh. Ah. 339 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:58,720 Twelve o'clock, three o'clock, six o'clock, nine o'clock. 340 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,720 Did you say something? 341 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,840 No, sorry. 342 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,640 Are you enjoying it? 343 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:15,040 Then spread it. Back to 12 o'clock... 344 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,080 ...three o'clock, nine o'clock. 345 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,400 - Ooh. - Ooh? 346 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,840 - Yeah? - Yeah. 347 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,320 - Wow. - Yeah. 348 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,440 It was good? 349 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,920 It was... so nice. 350 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:37,480 Okay. 351 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,680 It was really, really bad. 352 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,160 He was moving his fingers like he was dialing a 1920s telephone, 353 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,080 but really fast, with no rhythm. 354 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,960 And then he was kind of, like, jabbing at the same time. 355 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,960 And then he kept looking at the clock on his wall 356 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,040 like he was timing himself or something. 357 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,200 You need to tell him it was bad. 358 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,960 Uh-uh. It'll hurt his feelings. 359 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,560 Maybe it will be better next time? 360 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,240 I-I definitely have to tell him. 361 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:06,720 - Did you do it? - Uh-huh. 362 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,560 I know! 363 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,120 I knew you had a freshly-fingered glow about you! 364 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,920 - Tell me everything. - So... 365 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,560 I think I might have facilitated a crescendo. 366 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,000 - The big O? - Yeah. 367 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,480 - First time round? - Yeah. 368 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,720 I stuck to my clock technique, and I don't know, bingo. 369 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,680 - My God. - Orgasm town. 370 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,560 I feel like maybe fingering is my sexual superpower or something. 371 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,160 Oh, dude, I'm so proud of you. 372 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,760 - Thanks, man. - Let's go celebrate. 373 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,480 - What shall we do first? - You don't think it was beginner's luck, 374 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,040 - do you? - No. 375 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:39,440 No, no, no, no, no, you're definitely Fingertron. 376 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,560 Oh, my God! They have Crazy Jungle, come on. 377 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,000 Why am I here? I hate fairs. 378 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,160 You're here because Steve is doing extra study 379 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,080 for your stupid altitude scheme. You're my date. 380 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,176 - Aptitude scheme, Aimee. - Yeah, that's what I said. 381 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,920 - Yeah. - Can you win me a giant pig? 382 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:06,680 Hi. 383 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,720 Hey. 384 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,640 And we have a winner. 385 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:33,520 I need to go find Otis. 386 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,520 That's the kind of competitive spirit 387 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,760 you should be bringing to aptitude scheme, Maeve. 388 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,000 See you tomorrow in class. 389 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,680 I'll be right back. 390 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,440 Ms. Sands. Ms. Sands. 391 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:57,520 Um... 392 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,280 I did write the... the ten-years'-time essay. 393 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,120 I didn't realize we had to read it out, so I got embarrassed. 394 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,520 "In ten years' time, I want to live in a house with big windows, 395 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,120 I want the house to be large enough to have a kitchen table with four chairs 396 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,200 but not too roomy to ever feel the depth of my aloneness. 397 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,600 Because I'll probably be alone. 398 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,320 But I think aloneness won't feel so all-consuming with windows 399 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,360 that protect me from the world but still let me watch it." 400 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,160 I'm sorry. Sorry. 401 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,120 I don't think I belong in the class. 402 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,720 You're a beautiful writer, Maeve. 403 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,360 You can have more expansive dreams than four chairs and some windows. 404 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:48,520 Think about it. 405 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,640 - What? What? - You're really not good at this. 406 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,200 Have you got a problem with me or something? 407 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,080 Look, uh, it's simple. 408 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,440 So this is hidden quadratics. 409 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,360 You need to substitute the Y... 410 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,160 - Mm-hmm. - ...and then back substitute... 411 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,120 the X. 412 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,720 Oh. See, no one's ever explained it to me like this before. 413 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,760 You dating Pythagoras, Jackson? 414 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,600 Nah, mate, we're just studying. 415 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:29,880 They were just being idiots. 416 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,640 It's fine. 417 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,120 Men who engage in sporting activities at school 418 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,160 are statistically more likely to work in menial jobs as adults. 419 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,120 Well, that's a bit harsh. 420 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,160 No, it's realistic. 421 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,880 Look, if your hand doesn't heal, 422 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,160 what is your backup plan? 423 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,760 And even if it does heal, 424 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,000 professional athletes statistically peak at 21. 425 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:57,720 So it might be worth acquiring some other skills. 426 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,840 Statistics are a real buzzkill, you know that? 427 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,720 Parade, shun! 428 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,320 Slope arms! 429 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,160 General salute! 430 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,800 Present arms! 431 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,280 Slope arms! 432 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,000 That... 433 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,920 is a real improvement, Groff. 434 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,880 To your duties. 435 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,440 Fall out! 436 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,960 - Well done, mate. - Good job, man. 437 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:05,920 - We're going on the Ferris wheel. - Wind isn't good for my hair. 438 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,400 I don't think I was clear. Rahim's going on the Ferris wheel, 439 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,000 so we're going on the Ferris wheel. 440 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,520 You can squeeze in with me and Anwar for the next ride, Rahim. 441 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:16,960 No, thank you. 442 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,040 What do you mean why are we going on it? It's fun. 443 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:21,200 It's the least safe of any of the rides here. 444 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:22,840 - It's fun. - How do you know it's fun? 445 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,320 Because I'm telling you that it's fun, that's how I know. 446 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,040 Oh, I am going to die. 447 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,400 - Come on then. - I'm coming, I'm coming. 448 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:30,840 Ooh! 449 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,160 - What was that? That was really unsafe. - Calm down. 450 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:38,160 - Eric. Ahh, I'm sorry. I feel vulnerable. - Excuse me, Oatcake! Get back here! 451 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,640 It'll be fine, you're fine. 452 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,440 - Hello. - Hi. Hello. 453 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,200 - Why won't he notice me? - Do you think they do vegan hotdogs? 454 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,000 Milburn, can I have a word, please? 455 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,000 Um... 456 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,480 It's about your... biology test. 457 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:09,760 What... What biology test, sir? 458 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,440 It's not really about a test. There is no test. Listen... 459 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:18,560 I heard on the grapevine that you deal with matters of the heart. 460 00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:21,720 And I'm desperate for some advice. 461 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:24,160 Thing is, I have a friend who speaks Spanish 462 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,440 and I can't understand her at all. 463 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,880 She says things like, "Hola... 464 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,160 ...and... all I can hear is... 465 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,320 Shakira, Shakira. 466 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,560 I don't speak Spanish, sir. 467 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,320 I can't do dirty talk. 468 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:42,960 I find it mortifying. 469 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000 Oh... 470 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,400 Well, uh... 471 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,080 sometimes when we learn new skills, we can feel exposed. 472 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,440 Right? And you wouldn't go to a foreign country 473 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,880 without some basic understanding of the language. 474 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,280 So why don't you write a script for yourself 475 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,280 and practice speaking the words until they feel more comfortable? 476 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,960 It's about making an effort to take little steps to meet her halfway. 477 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:10,960 Does that makes sense? 478 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,200 Yes. 479 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,560 Muchas gracias, maestro. 480 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,800 - What shall we say, a pony? - Ah... Uh... 481 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:21,920 - Or a monkey? - Please don't pay me. 482 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,360 Let's not speak of this again. 483 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:27,760 You bet. 484 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,160 - So, what are the interesting landmarks... - Um... 485 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:47,280 ...around here? 486 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,320 There's nothing interesting to see round here. 487 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:52,640 Very boring. 488 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:54,440 Sorry. 489 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,560 Only boring people get bored. 490 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,960 "As if you were on fire from within. 491 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,400 The moon lives in the lining of your skin." 492 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,200 Uh, pardon? 493 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,560 - It's about finding beauty in the world. - Oh. 494 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,760 - It's a poem by Pablo Neruda. - Oh. 495 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:22,760 I don't know her. 496 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,640 - Goodbye. - Uh, bye. 497 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,680 I think you're jabbing the duck too hard, Otis. 498 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,960 Maybe you should just try it a bit softer... 499 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,320 a bit slower maybe. 500 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,680 Yes! See, I got... See. 501 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,160 Thank you. Thank you, sir. 502 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:05,680 Ta-da! 503 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:06,760 For you. 504 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,736 - There you go. - Tell him. 505 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,880 Okay. Um, thank you. 506 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,520 I need to tell you something. 507 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:14,600 - Um... - Sure. 508 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:16,680 Okay. Uh, I... 509 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,800 Uh, I really, really don't like... 510 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,080 goldfish. 511 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:28,640 Here you go. 512 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,400 Yeah. 513 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,360 Okay, thanks. 514 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:33,480 Yeah. 515 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,600 Hey, do you wanna hang at mine? 516 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,960 - We could, you know... - No. 517 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,760 I've got loads of homework that I need to do. 518 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,320 - In fact, I need to go... now. - Okay. 519 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:49,320 - But thank you so much for the bear. Dog. - Thank you for the fish. 520 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,440 Okay, I'll see you. 521 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,520 My friend's boyfriend doesn't know how to finger her properly. 522 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,280 I'm off duty, sorry. 523 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,720 He's really bad at it. 524 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,440 Tell your friend's boyfriend 525 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,600 to look up something called the clock technique. 526 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,000 It looks a bit complicated at first, granted, 527 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,240 but once you get it right, the results are astounding. 528 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:12,880 It's you. 529 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:14,600 You're my friend's boyfriend. 530 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,320 You're bad at fingering. 531 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,640 Please don't tell Ola I said anything, but... 532 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:20,040 sort it out? 533 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,400 I'm ready to talk dirty. 534 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,160 I'm gonna do nasty things to you. 535 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,480 Yeah. 536 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,040 I'm gonna get you so wet. 537 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,560 You're going to feel like your water just broke. 538 00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,240 - What? - I'm gonna treat you so badly, 539 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,840 you'll be late for work tomorrow and I'm gonna get you fired, 540 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,440 completely ruin your life. 541 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,160 Wait that's not... Is that right? 542 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,280 Um... 543 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,920 Uh... this isn't working. 544 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:18,480 Isn't it? 545 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,640 Grab your stuff. Come with us. 546 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,840 Here you go. That'll keep you warm. 547 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:00,720 Are you homesick yet? 548 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,440 I was proper homesick when I first got here. 549 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,000 Yeah. 550 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,040 - He used to cry every night for his mummy. - Did not. 551 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,720 I miss my mum a bit, but... 552 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:14,600 not my dad though. He's... 553 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:15,800 An arsehole? 554 00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:18,720 Yep, my dad's a dick too. 555 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,320 My dad's a pussy. 556 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:22,360 A mean one. 557 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,440 Fuck all the mean dads. 558 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,680 Fuck 'em! 559 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:32,720 Fuck all the dads. 560 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,040 - You got a girlfriend? - Yep. 561 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:41,040 Her name's Aimee. 562 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,360 Big tits. 563 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,000 You a boob or an arse man? 564 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,680 I like elbows. 565 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,000 - I love you. - Oh, hold on, darling. 566 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:14,000 I'm not training, Mum. 567 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,680 Got to keep on track. 568 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,480 You'll be swimming again before you know it. 569 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,360 Well, what if I'm not? 570 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,480 You know, maybe I should get, like, a new hobby or something. 571 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,520 But your hand is going to heal. 572 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:28,640 - Yeah. - Yes? 573 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:29,760 - Yeah. - Okay. 574 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:31,280 Go on. 575 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,880 - Have a good day. - Yeah, you too. 576 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,600 Well, what do I do? 577 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,280 You're kind of asking the wrong guy about fingering, dude. 578 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,360 I don't know. Shit. 579 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,520 For you to read. 580 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:51,680 Thanks. 581 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:55,640 Thank you. 582 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,616 First, he looks at me like he wants to kill me, 583 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,736 then he calls me boring, and now he's giving me books. 584 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,536 - Maybe he wants to be your friend. - Or maybe he's a teenage Ted Bundy. 585 00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:06,840 This is serious, okay? 586 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,440 I need to find someone who understands vaginas. 587 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,520 Your mum. 588 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,960 - I'm being serious. - No, Otis, your mum is here. 589 00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:21,480 Okay. All right. 590 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,920 Good luck, Fingertron. 591 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,000 I'm branching out. You should audition. 592 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,240 That's not really my thing. 593 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:46,640 Thanks, though. 594 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,280 But you're acting all the time. 595 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,720 And you'll probably get a sword. 596 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:05,520 No hats. 597 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,280 Take it to your dorm. 598 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:09,840 Come on. 599 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,840 I've still got your, uh, hat. 600 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,760 - We're not poofs or anything. - Yeah, I was thinking about my girlfriend. 601 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,360 And I was thinking of your girlfriend, you know... with the big tits. 602 00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:30,320 I won't tell anyone. 603 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,680 I need your advice. 604 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:00,320 I'm pretty... 605 00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:04,680 I'm bad at fingering. Really bad. And my girlfriend is actively avoiding me. 606 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:06,080 Please help. 607 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,360 Okay. 608 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,800 But only because I pity you. 609 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,520 - Show me what you did then. - I was about to eat that. 610 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,040 - You want me to... - Mm-hmm. 611 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,240 Okay. Um... 612 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,360 Sorry. 613 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:34,480 Well, I... 614 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,560 I started at... 615 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:38,560 I started at 12 o'clock... 616 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:40,760 and went to three o'clock, 617 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,320 and then back down to six. 618 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,320 Oh, it's juicy. And then there was nine. 619 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,200 Congratulations, you can tell the time. 620 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:52,080 Then I carried on, clockwise, then I flipped it anti-clockwise. 621 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:53,720 So you DJ-ed on her vag. 622 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,240 What's with the clock thing? 623 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:57,280 - It's a technique. - It's weird. 624 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:00,480 Continue. 625 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,600 Well, I sort of continued that motion... 626 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,160 Oh, then I had a spread, 627 00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:07,560 which was kind of like that. That's... 628 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:11,400 - And continued to apply pressure, and... - Stop jabbing. 629 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,760 - It's not, I'm not really jabbing. - I think I'd know, it's my orange. 630 00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:16,520 - Actually, it's my orange. - Shh. 631 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:17,600 Okay, um... 632 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,920 - This is ridiculous. I'm sorry. - Look... 633 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,280 there's no magic technique that works with all women. 634 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,280 Every orange is different, 635 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,960 but you shouldn't be asking me, you should be asking your girlfriend. 636 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,760 Tune into her orange. 637 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:36,320 Yeah. 638 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:38,360 Okay, we're done now. 639 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:41,320 Thank you. 640 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,840 Okay, everyone. 641 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,520 It's SRE question time. 642 00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,560 Okay? 643 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,320 In the old box, and... Ah! 644 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,680 It doesn't matter. 645 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:07,880 Okay. 646 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,840 "Can I get pregnant from only giving hand jobs?" 647 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:16,560 Okay, um... 648 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:21,920 Well, fertilization only occurs when Mr. Sperm enters Mrs. Egg. 649 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,000 So, no is the answer. 650 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:27,240 Okay... 651 00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:29,840 Good. 652 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:31,600 Um... 653 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,920 "My boyfriend doesn't want to wear a condom. 654 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,240 What should I do?" 655 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:39,760 Uh... Hell. 656 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,960 Condoms protect the egg from fertilization. 657 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:44,880 - Okay. - Monsieur, 658 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,520 what about gay sex? 659 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:51,200 Well, you can't get pregnant from, um, homosexual activity. 660 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:52,840 But what about pleasure? 661 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,720 People don't always have sex to make a baby. 662 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,880 Mm. Um... 663 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,280 Where was I? The, uh... The egg... 664 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,760 What type of lubricant would you recommend for doing anal sex? 665 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,696 Well, you should always use a water-based lubricant. 666 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:17,280 Oil-based products will decompose the latex in the condom. 667 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:22,560 And, sorry, just to answer the previous question, 668 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,760 no matter how persistent a sexual partner is 669 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,520 about not using contraception, 670 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:33,320 remember it is always your right to say no. 671 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,760 Always. 672 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:37,400 Cool. 673 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:41,720 Uh, Ms. Milburn? 674 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,760 Has that given you enough information for your report then? 675 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:48,080 Well, quite frankly, Mr. Groff, I'm shocked by the ineptitude. 676 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,416 I'll be spending the next few weeks getting to know the students 677 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:52,800 and their needs a bit better. 678 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,616 I'm not sure the board will agree to anything that drastic. 679 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:58,000 I've already spoken to Maxine Tarrington, and she approves. 680 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,720 I'm looking forward to working with you, Mr. Groff. 681 00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:09,760 Oh, for God's sake! 682 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:17,520 Did you know you need, like, sugar and flour and an oven to bake? 683 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,520 And you don't just shove it all in, you have to follow all these rules. 684 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,040 Yeah, it's called a recipe. 685 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,080 Hey, Maeve, you're our new Quiz Head. High five. 686 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:28,920 Don't let me down. 687 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,040 Hey, have you guys... Have you seen Ola anywhere? 688 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,440 - Maeve got on the quiz team. - Oh, good job. 689 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,520 If you see Ola, I'm looking for her. 690 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,240 Are you happy, babes? 691 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:46,960 I don't think I'm over Otis. 692 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,040 That is what I keep saying. 693 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:59,320 Oh, my God! Your mum is everyting. 694 00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,760 She talked about anal sex in front of Mr. Groff. 695 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,600 - Jean actually gives me life. - That's not good news, Eric. 696 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,640 Oh, and I think Rahim is gay. 697 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,120 - That actually makes a ton of sense. - Mm-hmm. 698 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,400 Staring at you, wanting to sit next to you all the time, 699 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,080 giving you books. He probably likes you. 700 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:18,200 Otis, I don't think so. 701 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,840 Read the signs, Eric. I have to go. 702 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:40,600 Sir! I was wrong. I was wrong. You have to tune into her orange. 703 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:44,960 Just listen to what she's actually saying. That's how you learn Spanish, huh? 704 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:47,400 Good luck! 705 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:52,760 It's an apple. 706 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:04,640 Hi. 707 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:06,920 I know I'm bad at fingering. 708 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,680 I was really busy trying to get it right, and I wasn't listening to you. 709 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,960 We don't ever have to do it again. 710 00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:17,720 Or... 711 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:19,640 I could show you what I like? 712 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:40,520 Could you explain why you enjoy dirty talk so that I can understand? 713 00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:42,880 If not, I bought dips. 714 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:46,320 Loads of them. 715 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,080 I feel like a dowdy teacher all day, so... 716 00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,800 when I'm at home, I want to escape and to feel... 717 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:03,720 Like a female dog? 718 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:04,960 No. 719 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,160 Colin, I don't care what you say. 720 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:08,720 I just... 721 00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:10,840 want to feel sexy. 722 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:16,400 So it's not about the words. 723 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,240 Spatula. 724 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,560 Pepper grinder. 725 00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,040 Milk frother. 726 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,840 ♪ Sexy boy ♪ 727 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,520 Ice cream scoop. 728 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,680 Baba ghanoush! Oh! 729 00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,240 Baba ghanoush! 730 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,880 Say it again! Baba... 731 00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,600 Ghanoush! 732 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,600 ♪ Sexy boy ♪ 733 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,640 That's not mine. 734 00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:31,320 They planted it. 735 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,360 And why would they do that? 736 00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,080 Does this... belong... 737 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:41,800 to you? 738 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,880 Left, right, left, right, left, right, left! 739 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:56,160 Left, right, left, right, left, right, left! 740 00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:00,360 Left, right, left, right, left, right, left! 741 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:14,600 I lied. 742 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,000 I lied. It's not my weed. 743 00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,520 They wanted to get me expelled because they're... poofs. 744 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:23,840 Sir. 745 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,160 Yes. 746 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,160 Quite a lot of us are poofs in this institution. 747 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,200 But some things are better left unacknowledged. 748 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:34,400 So I don't have to... 749 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:36,120 go home? 750 00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,880 You were found with drugs in your possession, Adam. 751 00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:42,240 I'm sorry. 752 00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:58,760 ♪ And so the outside, it bashes us in ♪ 753 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,440 ♪ Bashes us about a bit ♪ 754 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:10,360 ♪ Feel it tugging you Ploughing you flat ♪ 755 00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:16,800 ♪ Then feel it filling your sails And warm on your back ♪ 756 00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:19,000 ♪ Ooh ♪ 757 00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,440 That was your last chance at a formal education. 758 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:25,680 If you put one foot out of line, you won't have a roof over your head. 759 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:27,520 Understood? 760 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:36,160 ♪ And blessed are those Who see and are silent ♪ 761 00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:42,120 ♪ Blessed are those Who see and are silent ♪ 762 00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:48,280 ♪ Blessed are those who see ♪ 763 00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:58,280 ♪ So won't you hoist up The bucket now, Charlie? ♪ 764 00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,200 ♪ Hoosh it all over the deck ♪ 765 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:08,600 ♪ 'Cause we've been getting most Mightily filthy ♪ 766 00:49:09,720 --> 00:49:12,880 ♪ Mud marks up to our necks ♪ 767 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:20,520 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh ♪ 768 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:24,320 ♪ Ooh, ooh, oooh ♪ 769 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:37,120 ♪ And they did unfold And the wind, it did feel them ♪ 770 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:42,680 ♪ And they did unfold and the wind ♪ 55951

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.