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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,974
Hi. I think we're on a guest list.
2
00:00:01,982 --> 00:00:04,461
Name?
Marcus. Marcus what?
3
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:07,062
Marcus Phillipus Valerius Gallo.
4
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,593
No. You're not on here.
5
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,853
OK, try Stylax Rufus Eurisces.
6
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,768
Don't think so.
Maybe as a plus-one.
7
00:00:14,876 --> 00:00:16,755
Whose plus-one?
Who have your got?
8
00:00:16,756 --> 00:00:19,355
Back off. You're not on the scroll,
so it's ten each.
9
00:00:19,356 --> 00:00:22,155
Ten denarii?
One of us is just a slave, so...
10
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,675
So leave him outside.
Can we leave you outside?
11
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,997
I'd rather not.
He'd rather not, is the thing.
12
00:00:27,018 --> 00:00:28,696
It's dead nippy.
13
00:00:28,697 --> 00:00:31,337
Evening, ladies.
You have yourselves a good night.
14
00:00:31,338 --> 00:00:33,896
OK, so we sort of need to get in.
15
00:00:33,897 --> 00:00:36,937
Look, gents, I'm not sure this is
the place for guys like you.
16
00:00:36,938 --> 00:00:38,616
What does that mean?
17
00:00:38,617 --> 00:00:41,257
Do I need to spell it out for you?
18
00:00:42,266 --> 00:00:57,349
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
19
00:01:02,977 --> 00:01:05,695
Salve, Marcus.
All right, landlord?
20
00:01:05,707 --> 00:01:07,766
I've just got some new tenants
fresh off the boat.
21
00:01:07,865 --> 00:01:10,704
Oh, yeah? What they like? Brilliant.
They're paying 60 a week.
22
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:14,301
I meant as people. Well, idiots,
clearly. Make them feel welcome.
23
00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:22,741
Here, let me give you a hand
with that.
24
00:01:22,742 --> 00:01:25,500
Oh, thanks. I literally love you.
25
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:28,141
Erm... I love you, too.
26
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,540
I'm Marcus. I live upstairs.
27
00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:33,900
So do I, I think. Cynthia.
28
00:01:33,901 --> 00:01:37,460
This place is a dump.
This is my slave, Metella.
29
00:01:37,461 --> 00:01:39,979
Hello. And goodbye.
We're not staying here.
30
00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:42,699
Oh, no. Really?
What? No, you should stay.
31
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:45,099
It's dirtier than home, Cynth.
Where's home?
32
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,699
Britain.
Where we live in huts made of mud.
33
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:50,221
What is dirtier than mud?
Dog shit on our doorstep.
34
00:01:50,222 --> 00:01:52,500
Oh, gross. That really is dirty.
35
00:01:52,501 --> 00:01:55,619
Yeah, but the dog that did that
is actually pretty cute, so...
36
00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:59,021
Still not great. Thanks so much for
your help. I'll tell you what.
37
00:01:59,022 --> 00:02:02,460
I'll get my slave to clean up
the dog business.
38
00:02:02,461 --> 00:02:04,901
When you've settled in
I'll give you a tour of the hood.
39
00:02:04,902 --> 00:02:07,540
Yeah?
We could use a tour guide.
40
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:09,381
Well, then. Done deal.
41
00:02:10,541 --> 00:02:12,259
So, are you a native Roman, Marcus?
42
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:14,539
Pretty much.
I've been here about six weeks.
43
00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:17,701
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Brilliant idea. You'll love it here.
44
00:02:23,021 --> 00:02:25,299
Anything from home?
No. Just junk.
45
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,981
What took you? Just helping
some new neighbours move in.
46
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,100
Couple of Britons.
Girls?
47
00:02:30,101 --> 00:02:32,060
No, boys. Big boys.
48
00:02:32,061 --> 00:02:33,819
In fact, Grumio, I need you
49
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,061
to clean up some dog shit
form outside their door, OK? Not OK.
50
00:02:37,062 --> 00:02:41,140
Right. Why not? It's not our shit
or our dog or our door.
51
00:02:41,141 --> 00:02:43,979
That's not the attitude, mate.
We're not on the farm anymore.
52
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,859
We're in Rome now. If we want to
impress people, we've got to -
53
00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:50,061
Pick up their dog shit?
Well, in this case, yes.
54
00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:52,221
Oh, my bloody wow!
What?
55
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:55,891
An orgy?
56
00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:59,251
The Followers of Flesh,
a feast for the senses.
57
00:02:59,252 --> 00:03:01,891
No, thank you.
As simple as that?
58
00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:04,811
Not for me.
Orgies aren't for you?
59
00:03:04,812 --> 00:03:06,891
OK, what about her?
60
00:03:06,892 --> 00:03:08,930
Is she not for you?
That's a drawing.
61
00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:11,130
It's based on someone.
Someone who won't be there.
62
00:03:11,141 --> 00:03:13,540
You wanted to meet girls.
I wanted a girlfriend.
63
00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:16,300
You might meet her. I don't want
to meet my future wife
64
00:03:16,301 --> 00:03:18,462
while she's being humped
by centurions.
65
00:03:18,463 --> 00:03:20,822
So, wait till they've finished.
66
00:03:21,822 --> 00:03:23,421
How much is it?
67
00:03:23,422 --> 00:03:27,122
It's... It's reassuringly expensive,
but we can make cutbacks.
68
00:03:27,212 --> 00:03:28,570
Where?
69
00:03:28,571 --> 00:03:31,209
Groceries we can cut back, right?
Not really.
70
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,769
We're prioritising orgies over food?
It says "feast".
71
00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:37,771
For the senses. That won't be an -
There is! There's a bloody buffet!
72
00:03:37,772 --> 00:03:39,690
That sounds hygienic.
73
00:03:39,691 --> 00:03:41,569
It it all you can eat?
I assume so.
74
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:44,369
You're not going!
I'm not paying for my slave
75
00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:47,371
to bang his way through a buffet!
I want to be a Follower of Flesh.
76
00:03:48,411 --> 00:03:50,290
Oh, come on, mate.
77
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:52,451
You can do this.
It's only following.
78
00:03:52,452 --> 00:03:54,291
Following flesh.
79
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,809
If that's the only way
you can get your rocks off,
80
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,649
then, frankly, I feel sorry for you.
81
00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:09,729
Where do your get your rocks off,
Aurelius?
82
00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:12,369
Anywhere, mate.
Bars, galleries, the temple.
83
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:15,131
The temple.
The temple is full of quality women.
84
00:04:15,132 --> 00:04:16,970
On their knees praying.
85
00:04:16,971 --> 00:04:19,850
On their knees, worshipping my rack.
86
00:04:19,851 --> 00:04:23,330
Rack means boobs.
No. Rack is muscles.
87
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,529
You have boobs?
I do not have boobs!
88
00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:28,531
I'm glad to hear it.
Working hard, then, boys?
89
00:04:28,532 --> 00:04:32,010
Always, thank you, Flavia.
I come bearing gifts.
90
00:04:32,011 --> 00:04:35,049
As in more work? Copier,
I need 12 of these double sided
91
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:37,491
for the business affairs meeting
on Friday.
92
00:04:37,492 --> 00:04:39,290
I have already done these.
93
00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:41,969
You poor thing.
I'd rather not do them again.
94
00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:44,371
And I'd rather not ask you.
They were a bit smudgy.
95
00:04:44,372 --> 00:04:47,410
Like someone had been weeping
on them.
96
00:04:47,411 --> 00:04:50,250
Were you weeping on them?
Er... no.
97
00:04:50,251 --> 00:04:52,529
Oh, sorry, I think I must have...
Cheers, mate.
98
00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:55,691
And here's the old ones for you,
shredder. Have it done by tomorrow.
99
00:04:55,692 --> 00:04:58,530
If poss.
Well, we'll try.
100
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:01,169
And also succeed
because I will need it by then.
101
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,729
So, let's maybe have no talking
in here.
102
00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:05,851
Straight back, water boy.
Water man.
103
00:05:05,852 --> 00:05:07,691
Straight back!
104
00:05:19,411 --> 00:05:21,210
Salve, Grumio.
105
00:05:21,211 --> 00:05:22,810
All right, landlord?
106
00:05:22,811 --> 00:05:25,809
Working hard, then?
I'm quite stressed, actually.
107
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:28,169
Yeah, you look it.
Financial worries.
108
00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:30,729
I'm trying to balance my budget
for groceries
109
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,769
with my budget for orgies and that.
110
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:35,131
Cut back on the groceries.
No brainer.
111
00:05:35,132 --> 00:05:36,850
Cheers, yeah.
112
00:05:36,851 --> 00:05:39,611
Do you know anywhere
I can get food for cheap?
113
00:05:39,612 --> 00:05:42,891
Well, how cheap are we talking?
Like... free.
114
00:05:43,931 --> 00:05:45,691
Yeah, I might, as it happens.
115
00:05:46,691 --> 00:05:47,891
Whiz kid.
116
00:05:49,051 --> 00:05:53,130
Ugh. Well, this is bad food.
Where did you get this mulch?
117
00:05:53,131 --> 00:05:54,849
Landlord showed me a place.
118
00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:58,291
The trick is not to smell it or chew
it, just swallow like a duck.
119
00:06:01,251 --> 00:06:03,409
Am I guaranteed sex?
There must be a catch.
120
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:06,051
Trust me, they'll be queuing up
for you, mate.
121
00:06:06,131 --> 00:06:08,569
Ah. Male attendees each have
to bring a towel.
122
00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,611
We have towels.
And a female guest.
123
00:06:14,051 --> 00:06:16,769
What about them Britons?
Grumio, don't -
124
00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,049
You said they were big boys.
Boys with breasts.
125
00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:21,291
I saw them first.
Fit Britons? Fit Britons?
126
00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:23,850
The Britons! Ask them to the orgy.
127
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,290
Er, no. That's er... no.
128
00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:29,289
Well, one's a slave. Sorry.
And I kind of like the other one.
129
00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:32,609
That's perfect. Imperfect.
I'm just getting to know her.
130
00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:35,891
No, don't get to know her. That's
not how it's done in the city.
131
00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:40,410
Girls want guys who are balls out
and sexually liberated, not...
132
00:06:40,411 --> 00:06:43,170
chatty prudes.
I'm not a prude.
133
00:06:43,171 --> 00:06:45,409
I know when you've been fiddling
with yourself
134
00:06:45,456 --> 00:06:47,255
because you make Venus
face the wall.
135
00:06:47,256 --> 00:06:49,817
Well, she makes me self-conscious.
Well, not any more.
136
00:06:49,818 --> 00:06:51,496
Man up.
137
00:06:51,497 --> 00:06:53,536
Get this girl to the orgy.
138
00:06:53,537 --> 00:06:56,055
This is the ideal way to take it
to the next level, bro.
139
00:06:56,056 --> 00:06:57,815
You might be skipping a few levels.
140
00:06:57,816 --> 00:07:01,375
Exactly. Cut to the chase.
That's how Romans roll. Hey!
141
00:07:01,376 --> 00:07:05,017
If she doesn't lie it, she can
get the boat back to rainy Briton.
142
00:07:05,018 --> 00:07:07,296
Britain. It's Britain, you dick.
143
00:07:07,297 --> 00:07:09,656
Britain, Briton, whatever.
144
00:07:09,657 --> 00:07:11,897
If you don't ask her, I will.
145
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,976
All right, fine, I'll ask her.
146
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,976
Just leave her alone.
Good boy.
147
00:07:18,977 --> 00:07:21,535
So, what about you?
Who are you going to take?
148
00:07:21,536 --> 00:07:24,537
Don't worry about me. I've got girls
coming out of my arsehole.
149
00:07:28,737 --> 00:07:31,256
OK, go ahead.
150
00:07:31,257 --> 00:07:35,617
Female members of staff are invited
to an orgy this Friday night -
151
00:07:35,618 --> 00:07:38,176
Yeah, you can't put that in a memo.
152
00:07:38,177 --> 00:07:40,616
Why not?
It's inappropriate.
153
00:07:40,617 --> 00:07:42,376
Has Flavia said so?
154
00:07:42,377 --> 00:07:46,416
Not specifically,
but memos are more for office news.
155
00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:50,136
Fire drills and sponsored swims
and, well, not that.
156
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:53,095
What if I did it through
the Entertainment Committee?
157
00:07:53,096 --> 00:07:55,615
There is no Entertainment Committee.
I've started one.
158
00:07:55,616 --> 00:07:58,657
Really? And I'd like to send some
memos if that's OK?
159
00:07:58,658 --> 00:08:01,376
Sure. Why not?
Memo No.1.
160
00:08:01,377 --> 00:08:07,296
This Friday there will be...
an office cake bake.
161
00:08:07,297 --> 00:08:08,976
I make a lemon drizzle.
162
00:08:08,977 --> 00:08:11,137
That sounds lovely.
Hang on, don't do that.
163
00:08:11,138 --> 00:08:12,976
Why?
Because of memo No.2.
164
00:08:12,977 --> 00:08:16,817
Due to unforeseen circumstances
the cake bake has been cancelled.
165
00:08:17,737 --> 00:08:19,696
Oh, that's a shame.
166
00:08:19,697 --> 00:08:22,737
I know. I'm gutted.
So thank God for memo No.3.
167
00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:27,416
The cake bake has been replaced
with an orgy.
168
00:08:27,417 --> 00:08:30,136
Great news.
Only girls need apply.
169
00:08:30,137 --> 00:08:32,617
Anything else?
Must bring own towel.
170
00:08:32,618 --> 00:08:34,897
And... send.
171
00:08:35,897 --> 00:08:38,297
Own towel.
172
00:08:43,177 --> 00:08:45,496
So, this is the forum.
173
00:08:45,497 --> 00:08:48,496
Oh, it's so romantic.
174
00:08:48,497 --> 00:08:50,376
I find it very romantic.
175
00:08:50,377 --> 00:08:52,336
A bit crowded.
176
00:08:52,337 --> 00:08:55,975
Britain's practically empty. We've
never really been in a crowd before.
177
00:08:55,976 --> 00:08:58,135
Well, three can be a crowd,
can't it?
178
00:08:58,136 --> 00:09:00,337
So, what's that building, then,
tour guide?
179
00:09:00,338 --> 00:09:03,056
What, with the red... legs?
180
00:09:03,057 --> 00:09:04,975
Columns?
You can also call them legs.
181
00:09:04,976 --> 00:09:08,055
That's a temple or a bank
or something. Which is it?
182
00:09:08,056 --> 00:09:10,095
They'll both take your money,
won't they?
183
00:09:10,096 --> 00:09:11,735
I'll just check in the city guide.
184
00:09:11,736 --> 00:09:14,895
The city guide's useless.
Throw it away. I'm giving you gold.
185
00:09:14,896 --> 00:09:17,615
Nugget's of gold you won't find
in a bloody guide.
186
00:09:17,616 --> 00:09:20,175
You don't know the names
of any buildings. Yeah, but...
187
00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:21,897
Rome for me is about the people.
188
00:09:21,898 --> 00:09:23,976
They're the real buildings...
189
00:09:23,977 --> 00:09:25,736
in a way.
190
00:09:25,737 --> 00:09:28,975
I completely agree. I'm actually
training to be an actress.
191
00:09:28,976 --> 00:09:31,975
Oh, wow. So I need to know
about the real people.
192
00:09:31,976 --> 00:09:33,695
Oh, we can't move for real people.
193
00:09:33,696 --> 00:09:35,697
That's a real homeless man there,
look.
194
00:09:35,698 --> 00:09:39,256
Hey, that's brilliant.
Well, not for him.
195
00:09:39,257 --> 00:09:44,816
Erm... what else? Oh, people urinate
against that wall at night.
196
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:48,015
Great. Another nugget.
No, no, it's good. Carry on.
197
00:09:48,016 --> 00:09:52,135
Well, as it happens, I'm actually
going to this really Roman thing
198
00:09:52,136 --> 00:09:54,257
tomorrow night if you want to come.
Not you.
199
00:09:54,258 --> 00:09:56,336
What kind of thing?
200
00:09:56,337 --> 00:09:59,336
Er... it's sort of a party.
201
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:00,456
Coolio.
202
00:10:00,457 --> 00:10:04,136
I should say... it's erm...
It's a what?
203
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,097
It's an or...
204
00:10:06,977 --> 00:10:09,137
awesome party.
205
00:10:10,257 --> 00:10:12,256
OK, coolio.
206
00:10:12,257 --> 00:10:14,976
Coolio. On with the tour.
207
00:10:14,977 --> 00:10:16,976
Over there's a horse.
208
00:10:16,977 --> 00:10:19,137
It's a donkey.
Cool, really glad you came.
209
00:10:36,577 --> 00:10:38,377
All right?
210
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:42,136
What you got there?
Erm... rubbish.
211
00:10:42,198 --> 00:10:44,717
What are you doing?
Just browsing.
212
00:10:44,718 --> 00:10:46,477
How old's that peach?
213
00:10:46,478 --> 00:10:49,077
It's pretty old.
Can I have it?
214
00:10:49,078 --> 00:10:51,938
Fruit's not one of those things that
improves with age, you realise.
215
00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:54,205
What's in that bag?
216
00:10:54,206 --> 00:10:56,204
Corn on the cob.
I'll take it.
217
00:10:56,205 --> 00:10:59,206
It's without the corn.
Cob's fine. I can use cob.
218
00:11:03,486 --> 00:11:07,525
I saw you earlier
with the hairy stick.
219
00:11:07,526 --> 00:11:10,605
Sweeping. I was sweeping.
220
00:11:10,606 --> 00:11:14,125
I'm Metella.
I'm the slave of Cynthia.
221
00:11:14,126 --> 00:11:16,405
Grumio, off of Marcus.
222
00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:18,684
Of course you are.
That's make perfect sense.
223
00:11:18,685 --> 00:11:22,404
Are you going to his thing on Friday
night, then? No, I'm not invited.
224
00:11:22,405 --> 00:11:24,324
Me neither. I'm not fussed, like.
225
00:11:24,325 --> 00:11:27,564
I want a nap after I've eaten,
and I figured at an orgy
226
00:11:27,565 --> 00:11:30,804
you'd keep getting woken
up by people trying to fuck you.
227
00:11:30,805 --> 00:11:33,806
What did you just say?
Sorry, make love to you.
228
00:11:33,807 --> 00:11:36,046
Are they going to an orgy?
229
00:11:38,486 --> 00:11:40,245
What's in that bag?
230
00:11:40,246 --> 00:11:42,485
Toiletries.
231
00:11:42,486 --> 00:11:44,446
Right, I'll leave that.
Thanks, then.
232
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,666
Shredder, darling, quick word.
Am I in trouble?
233
00:11:51,730 --> 00:11:53,129
Yes.
234
00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:57,447
That's not what internal memos
are for, shredder.
235
00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,127
Yeah, I realise that now.
236
00:11:59,128 --> 00:12:02,167
We're not running some kind
of dating service.
237
00:12:02,168 --> 00:12:05,369
No. It's not really dating, though,
it's more kind of...
238
00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:07,268
anonymous humping, really.
239
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,726
That's not much better, is it?
No.
240
00:12:10,926 --> 00:12:13,444
Out of interest,
has there been many replies? No.
241
00:12:13,445 --> 00:12:15,404
Good, I'm pleased about that.
242
00:12:15,405 --> 00:12:17,726
I wanted to test the moral fibre
of our workforce.
243
00:12:17,727 --> 00:12:19,725
Stop it.
Sorry.
244
00:12:19,726 --> 00:12:23,686
Are you going to fire me?
I haven't decided yet.
245
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:36,886
What was that?
Nothing. Nothing. I panicked.
246
00:12:36,887 --> 00:12:39,605
Just get out. And, shredder?
Yes?
247
00:12:39,606 --> 00:12:42,646
Don't ask anyone else to accompany
you to an orgy? No.
248
00:12:42,647 --> 00:12:45,325
Because I'll be going with you.
Yes.
249
00:12:45,326 --> 00:12:48,886
I'll meet you there at nine.
I have my own... towel.
250
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,806
That'll be all, shredder.
251
00:13:02,726 --> 00:13:05,445
Cob's the best bit.
Well, it isn't.
252
00:13:05,446 --> 00:13:07,924
What's this grey stuff.
That's just general grey.
253
00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:11,846
Where in Rome sells general grey?
The grey's actually pretty good.
254
00:13:11,847 --> 00:13:15,285
It's meaty, but it's also moussey.
255
00:13:15,286 --> 00:13:18,365
It's a meat mousse.
I think I'll leave it.
256
00:13:18,366 --> 00:13:20,165
I'll wait for the buffet.
257
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,284
Are you good to go?
Have you conquered Briton?
258
00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:25,686
I'm telling her in stages.
Today I invited her to a party.
259
00:13:25,687 --> 00:13:28,645
Tomorrow I'll fill her in
on the theme.
260
00:13:28,646 --> 00:13:30,685
Oh, yeah, no need, actually.
261
00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:31,925
Why?
262
00:13:31,926 --> 00:13:34,964
I saw her slave at the bins.
She's probably filled in by now.
263
00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:37,924
Oh, you total dickhead.
I didn't know about the stages.
264
00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:41,766
Hang on, is this from the bins?
Which one are you more angry about?
265
00:13:43,086 --> 00:13:45,926
What's the point of you, Grumio?
I should bloody sell you.
266
00:13:45,927 --> 00:13:48,446
No-one would buy me.
267
00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:53,804
This is what you drive me to.
Do you understand?
268
00:13:53,805 --> 00:13:55,726
I'm not bothered. I completed it.
269
00:13:56,406 --> 00:13:59,326
She might not mind.
Of course she'll mind.
270
00:13:59,327 --> 00:14:01,926
What the hell am I going to tell her?
271
00:14:03,566 --> 00:14:06,966
Are you done with your grey? I think
I'm gonna press on, actually.
272
00:14:09,366 --> 00:14:11,485
You forgot it was an orgy?
273
00:14:11,486 --> 00:14:14,444
I forgot to mention it was an orgy.
When would you have remembered?
274
00:14:14,445 --> 00:14:18,364
When we got there? When we were
surrounded by thrusting dicks?
275
00:14:18,365 --> 00:14:20,766
Before that probably.
She'd have worked it out.
276
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:23,165
Stay out of it, please, mate.
277
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:27,525
Look, orgies are just a traditional
Roman pastime.
278
00:14:27,526 --> 00:14:30,524
So, why aren't they in the city
guide? That's just tourist stuff.
279
00:14:30,525 --> 00:14:33,604
This is what the locals do.
The local perverts?
280
00:14:33,605 --> 00:14:36,044
Local normal people.
I bought a new dress
281
00:14:36,045 --> 00:14:39,524
for a naked party. You can wear it
on the way over there.
282
00:14:39,525 --> 00:14:43,166
Look, I know it seems a bit edgy
and you're obviously sheltered.
283
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,325
Pardon me, I'm not sheltered.
284
00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:47,084
You'd never been in a crowd before.
285
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:49,084
This is modern city living, OK?
286
00:14:49,085 --> 00:14:51,566
If you can't handle it,
maybe you should get back
287
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:53,926
in your mud hut in soggy Briton.
288
00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:59,005
It's pronounced Britain.
289
00:14:59,006 --> 00:15:02,005
Thought you might lend 'em
some milk.
290
00:15:02,006 --> 00:15:05,644
Not invite them to a bloody orgy.
You heard that, then?
291
00:15:05,645 --> 00:15:07,446
Who's orgy is it, out of interest?
292
00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:10,605
The Followers of Flesh.
293
00:15:10,606 --> 00:15:13,764
The Flesh Followers. Bloody hell!
Why? What's wrong with it?
294
00:15:13,765 --> 00:15:16,484
It's whatever you're into, mate.
I'm not into anything.
295
00:15:16,485 --> 00:15:19,606
It's not entry level.
That one's more for specialists.
296
00:15:19,607 --> 00:15:21,765
What are specialists?
297
00:15:21,766 --> 00:15:24,886
People who specialise.
Yeah, that makes sense.
298
00:15:27,006 --> 00:15:29,284
I shouldn't have told them
to go home.
299
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:32,804
Those two are a much higher calibre
than my usual twats. No offence.
300
00:15:32,805 --> 00:15:36,244
None taken. Right,
see if I can't calm things down,
301
00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:38,764
smooth a few feathers.
That would be great.
302
00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:40,724
Part of my job description.
I know.
303
00:15:40,725 --> 00:15:44,566
So, another five on this week's
rent. Look after Junior, will you?
304
00:15:47,526 --> 00:15:49,486
'What does "not entry level" mean?'
305
00:15:49,487 --> 00:15:52,205
I don't know. I guess it's kinky.
306
00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:55,126
But kinky how?
Is it more stroking and massaging?
307
00:15:55,127 --> 00:15:57,806
You know, or punching and smearing.
308
00:15:58,726 --> 00:16:00,564
It sounds great.
I wish I could come.
309
00:16:00,565 --> 00:16:02,804
I'm not sure I could handle
the competition.
310
00:16:02,805 --> 00:16:05,446
Oh, trust me, mate, if I was there,
I would clean up.
311
00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:07,285
What, fluids?
No, women.
312
00:16:07,286 --> 00:16:10,166
With a little mop and bucket.
That's very considerate.
313
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:12,565
I'm saying I could bang everyone.
314
00:16:12,566 --> 00:16:14,885
Good for you, water boy. Aim high.
315
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,524
Thank you. Water man.
Good night, all.
316
00:16:17,525 --> 00:16:20,444
I've finished those copies.
Bravo. Pass them to shredder.
317
00:16:20,445 --> 00:16:23,004
Why? Because the meeting's been
moved to their place,
318
00:16:23,005 --> 00:16:25,046
so they're sorting the copies.
Nighty night.
319
00:16:26,726 --> 00:16:29,205
Oh, shredder, are you... shaved?
320
00:16:29,206 --> 00:16:31,285
Am I...?
321
00:16:31,286 --> 00:16:33,605
Oh, I can be.
322
00:16:33,606 --> 00:16:35,326
If you would.
323
00:16:40,326 --> 00:16:42,404
You're taking her to the orgy,
aren't you?
324
00:16:42,405 --> 00:16:44,484
In many ways she's taking me.
Oh, you idiot.
325
00:16:44,485 --> 00:16:47,044
What? You could literally
shag us out of a job.
326
00:16:47,045 --> 00:16:49,484
We'll get a bonus, if anything. Yow!
327
00:16:49,485 --> 00:16:52,924
Look at me. Answer me honestly.
Are you actually any good at sex?
328
00:16:52,925 --> 00:16:55,286
You talk a good game,
but are you any good at it?
329
00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,405
I think so.
You think?
330
00:16:57,406 --> 00:17:00,206
What's the feedback been like?
Never had any complaints.
331
00:17:00,207 --> 00:17:02,165
Well, how about compliments?
332
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:05,726
Like people do that straight after.
No, further down the line.
333
00:17:05,727 --> 00:17:08,605
Well, once is enough... usually.
334
00:17:08,606 --> 00:17:11,246
That's bad, then.
People are voting with their feet.
335
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:14,925
Or... they've had the best, so...
336
00:17:14,926 --> 00:17:17,605
So... what? They retire from sex
337
00:17:17,606 --> 00:17:20,686
because it can't get any better
than sex with Stylax, can it?
338
00:17:30,326 --> 00:17:32,245
Hi. I've come to say sorry.
339
00:17:32,246 --> 00:17:34,845
OK, thanks.
Not to you, though.
340
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:37,245
I'll pass it on.
OK...
341
00:17:37,246 --> 00:17:40,644
Can you tell Cynthia
that I regret deceiving her,
342
00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:43,004
and being rude about her country,
also your country?
343
00:17:43,005 --> 00:17:45,484
If she can for give me,
I'd like to take her for a drink
344
00:17:45,485 --> 00:17:48,564
that won't end in group sex.
OK, I'll tell her.
345
00:17:48,565 --> 00:17:50,924
Don't mention the sex, actually.
Go up to the drink.
346
00:17:50,925 --> 00:17:52,686
In fact, can I just tell her?
347
00:17:52,687 --> 00:17:55,405
Nope.
Sorry, with respect,
348
00:17:55,406 --> 00:17:58,244
I'm not sure you're going to convey
the right emotions
349
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,126
when you do it, so can I...?
350
00:18:00,127 --> 00:18:02,405
She's out.
When's she back?
351
00:18:02,406 --> 00:18:05,125
Dunno.
I think she's gone to an orgy.
352
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:09,046
That's very funny. Some cretin told
her that she was too sheltered.
353
00:18:18,366 --> 00:18:20,844
Ah, go on, be a mate.
This is appalling.
354
00:18:20,845 --> 00:18:22,684
I've argued her into an orgy.
355
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,484
I don't want to shave your balls.
356
00:18:24,485 --> 00:18:26,404
But I can't get the right angle
myself.
357
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:29,526
OK, I'll do it if I don't have
to look at 'em.
358
00:18:29,527 --> 00:18:32,006
No, that's... No, I can't risk that.
359
00:18:33,086 --> 00:18:35,525
Maybe let's just forget it.
360
00:18:35,526 --> 00:18:37,324
Let's just have a lads' night in,
yeah?
361
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,924
What? You can't pull out now.
This was you idea.
362
00:18:39,925 --> 00:18:43,724
I need to be there to stop Cynthia
sleeping with another man.
363
00:18:43,725 --> 00:18:46,924
And other men. Exactly, and other
men. These people are specialists.
364
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:50,204
But we don't know what that means.
It means keep them off her.
365
00:18:50,205 --> 00:18:53,446
Like a human shield.
And how are you gonna do that?
366
00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,405
Slide in...
367
00:18:55,406 --> 00:18:57,526
No, I mean you need a female guest.
368
00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,606
Oh, fuck pigs!
369
00:19:01,566 --> 00:19:05,804
OK, I've got an idea. And I'll be
honest, Grumio, you won't like it.
370
00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:09,326
However, bear in mind, there will be
a free buffet in it for you.
371
00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:13,165
Don't think so.
372
00:19:13,166 --> 00:19:15,644
Why not?
Because that's clearly a man.
373
00:19:15,645 --> 00:19:19,884
Yeah, fair point. Thing is, we're
not even really here for the sex.
374
00:19:19,885 --> 00:19:22,084
What are you here for, then?
The buffet.
375
00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:26,446
Then, go to a buffet. We do like to
be around sex while we eat, though.
376
00:19:27,446 --> 00:19:29,325
There he is!
377
00:19:29,326 --> 00:19:31,806
All spick and span, I hope,
shredder.
378
00:19:31,807 --> 00:19:34,445
Like a baby's bottom.
And Marcus too!
379
00:19:34,446 --> 00:19:36,886
Hello. This is practically
an office night out.
380
00:19:36,887 --> 00:19:39,165
And is this your partner?
381
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:41,366
No. That's erm...
382
00:19:42,446 --> 00:19:44,404
There's no explanation
for what that is.
383
00:19:44,405 --> 00:19:47,726
Shredder, this is my husband,
Cressus. Oh, it's your husband.
384
00:19:47,727 --> 00:19:49,325
I thought we were...
385
00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:51,845
Or are we...?
386
00:19:51,846 --> 00:19:54,126
Or even -
This is his goon, Lucinda.
387
00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:56,765
Goon? What's the...? Am I a goon?
388
00:19:56,766 --> 00:19:58,805
Am I your goon?
389
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:00,924
A goon is chosen for the cage game.
The what?
390
00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:03,006
It's just a fun little game
in a cage.
391
00:20:03,007 --> 00:20:05,565
I like games. Less keen on cages.
392
00:20:05,566 --> 00:20:08,404
Would you stamp my loyalty card,
please, darling?
393
00:20:08,405 --> 00:20:10,404
She's got a fucking loyalty card.
394
00:20:10,405 --> 00:20:14,324
At least she's loyal. Loyal to
orgies. That's the opposite of loyal.
395
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:16,444
Now he's putting a bag on his head.
396
00:20:16,445 --> 00:20:18,806
I'll try to find a girl
and meet you in there.
397
00:20:18,807 --> 00:20:21,166
Shredder, come along.
398
00:20:22,406 --> 00:20:24,246
These people are specialists.
399
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:32,886
Orgy? Do you want
to go to an orgy with him?
400
00:20:32,887 --> 00:20:36,085
No? Orgy, anyone?
Stop it, Grumio.
401
00:20:36,086 --> 00:20:38,006
We'll just get arrested.
402
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,804
Do you think Cynthia's
already in there?
403
00:20:42,805 --> 00:20:45,046
It's hard to tell from the outside.
404
00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:47,886
Maybe she's not actually going.
405
00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:50,724
Metella was probably winding me up.
406
00:20:50,725 --> 00:20:53,006
Who would she go with, anyway?
She only knows us.
407
00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:55,965
And the landlord.
Yeah, exactly.
408
00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:57,964
She's hardly going to go
with a landlord.
409
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,326
OK, that's them.
That's clearly what she's done.
410
00:21:03,806 --> 00:21:06,046
Shit house!
411
00:21:08,046 --> 00:21:10,485
Are you all right?
412
00:21:10,486 --> 00:21:12,885
Well, we're broke.
413
00:21:12,886 --> 00:21:16,165
The girl I fancy is at an orgy
with a landlord.
414
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:19,166
My best friend's being molested
in a cage.
415
00:21:20,406 --> 00:21:22,726
And my slave's pissing on my foot.
416
00:21:24,046 --> 00:21:26,326
At least we're in Rome, though.
417
00:21:42,206 --> 00:21:43,726
No, thank you.
418
00:21:48,846 --> 00:21:50,605
OK.
419
00:21:50,606 --> 00:21:53,806
I don't like the cage game!
420
00:21:53,931 --> 00:22:23,680
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