Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,169
[♪♪♪]
2
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,370
[GEORGE COUGHS]
3
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,305
- How's your cold doing, George?
4
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:14,973
- What cold?
5
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,944
- Never mind.
6
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,747
- Stephanie,
if you lowered your arm,
7
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,584
something might
actually get cleaned.
8
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,820
- It would also cause
dust to fly,
9
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,290
which is unhealthy for my baby.
10
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,927
- You really don't think things
through, do you, Joanna?
11
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,731
- Hail hail,
apple and apple-ette of my eye.
12
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,701
Dick, Jo-Jo, Loudon up.
13
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,236
This cook has concocted
a tasty new way
14
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,771
to serve up your TV shows.
15
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,808
- I'm salivating
in anticipation.
16
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,110
- I'm flip-flopping
your time slots.
17
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,978
From now on,
ye will be on before ye.
18
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,247
You see?
Is that a plan or what?
19
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,748
- You see,
the thing about a plan is,
20
00:01:56,917 --> 00:02:00,319
usually it has,
like, a purpose.
21
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,754
- Really? Huh.
22
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,391
- All you people ever talk about
is television.
23
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,027
Everyone in my world
is obsessed with TV.
24
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,329
- I'm not.
25
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,831
- Well, you're also not part
of my world, George.
26
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:19,471
Oh, okay.
You're on the fringe.
27
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:21,840
- Surf's uppers, Cuppers.
28
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,275
I just had a tidal wave
of an idea.
29
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,244
- Oh, let me take a wild guess.
30
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,779
You're flip-flopping
our time slots again?
31
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,648
- Possibly, possibly.
32
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,883
But right now my notion
is to give my huffin' muffin
33
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,052
a show of her own.
34
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:35,954
- My own TV show?
35
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,189
Where I'll be
the center of attention
36
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,292
and people will write me
fan mail I'll never answer?
37
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:46,165
- Oh, use--use a form letter.
It's just as impersonal.
38
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,499
- True.
39
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,935
Michael, I don't know
if I can do a show
40
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,737
like Dick's or Joanna's.
41
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,873
- Actually, it's not
as hard as it looks.
42
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,809
- No, I mean, I want to do
something good.
43
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,481
Something that would
affect people.
44
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,416
That would change the world.
45
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,386
- How about a sitcom?
46
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,189
- Yes!
- Yes!
47
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,690
And with me writing, producing
and directing this thing,
48
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:12,891
how could it fail?
49
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,125
- Easy.
With you writing, producing
50
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,960
and directing this thing.
51
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,532
- Michael, have you ever done
a sitcom before?
52
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,701
- Nay, Joanna, I have not.
53
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,370
But I have seen every episode
of every sitcom ever created.
54
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,405
Except for that Brady Bunch
55
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,141
where Mr. Brady
buys the kids a pool table.
56
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,711
- So, um...
57
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,614
who else is going to be
in this sitcom of yours?
58
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,316
- No one. Just me.
That's all.
59
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,483
Nobody else.
60
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:40,586
- Yeah, Joanna,
the other characters
61
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,522
would just get in the way.
62
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,023
- Being an aficionado
of the form,
63
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,226
I must point out
that every successful sitcom
64
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,527
needs a good stooge.
65
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,995
- That's true.
You need a goofball.
66
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,197
A doofus.
67
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:56,268
Someone so thick
he always misses the point.
68
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,269
Is that right?
69
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,504
Is that even what
we're talking about?
70
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,874
- I can play a doofus.
71
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,843
I'm not afraid to look silly.
72
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:07,246
- As you're demonstrating
right now.
73
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,015
- Excuse my sexism Broadway,
Jo-Jo,
74
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,818
but the best stooges are men.
75
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,355
The paragon being
the incomparable Don Knotts.
76
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,591
- Hey, what about Dick
for the stooge?
77
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,960
Doesn't WPIV have you
in one of those deals
78
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,095
where you have to do
everything they say?
79
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,096
- I don't...
80
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,266
I don't know--know what
you're talking about.
81
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,501
- See, he's a natural.
82
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,772
- Yes!
- Yes!
83
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:34,773
- Uh, thanks, George.
84
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,042
B-By the way, you're no longer
part of my world.
85
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,047
- Who needs your world?
I'm on Stephanie's fringe.
86
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:48,387
- You know, I also have
an overall deal at the station.
87
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:51,556
Maybe I could play
Stephanie's best friend.
88
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,224
- Excuse us.
89
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,928
- No.
- No.
90
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,130
A best friend is someone
you'd borrow clothes from.
91
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,333
I mean, come on.
92
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,170
- Shazam.
We'll throw Joanna a bone.
93
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,606
- She'll play my dog?
94
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:11,042
- An even better part.
An even smaller part.
95
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,311
- Congratulations, Joanna,
96
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,145
you are now part
of my sitcom family.
97
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,447
- Oh!
98
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:16,981
- Of course, you might
have to memorize a line.
99
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,718
- I can do it, I can do it!
Dick, I might have a line!
100
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:20,719
- Oh, th-that's nice, honey.
101
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,487
You know,
let's hope it's a funny one.
102
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,323
- Yeah.
103
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:27,158
- So, writer, producer,
director,
104
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,760
when can we shoot my sitcom?
105
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:29,761
- Well, let's see.
106
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:30,862
I still have to
come up with a premise.
107
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:31,963
Write the script.
108
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,432
Have sets built.
109
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,499
Hire a crew.
110
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,201
What, two days?
111
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,538
- Quality takes time.
112
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,375
- ♪ Look it's Jody ♪
113
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,310
♪ No it's Judy! ♪
114
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,912
♪ We're seein' double! ♪
115
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:51,149
♪ Teenage twins Are double duty ♪
116
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,618
♪ We're seeing double! ♪
117
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,788
♪ Since their mom Drowned in a lake ♪
118
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,691
♪ Dad has taught His girls to bake ♪
119
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,960
♪ [Indistinct] baloney cake ♪
120
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:02,961
[SQUEALS]
121
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,564
♪ It's really groany ♪
122
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,866
♪ Oh Jude and Jody ♪
123
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:13,372
♪ What mischief you twins get into! ♪
124
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:19,378
♪ Twice the trouble We're seeing double! ♪
125
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,212
Aren't you?
126
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,859
- I wonder
which of my 15-year-old
127
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:38,530
identical twin daughters,
Judy or Jody, did this to me...
128
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,566
their father, Henry Bumpter.
129
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,169
- Hi, Daddy!
130
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,342
- All right,
which one of you twins
131
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,745
cut a hole in my paper?
132
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,848
- Uh-oh.
133
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,183
- Jody, I thought so.
134
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,519
I knew
it couldn't have been Judy,
135
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,821
she's my little bookworm.
136
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,291
Jody is my little troublemaker.
137
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:11,129
- Come on, Daddy, I don't cause
that much trouble.
138
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,864
[OBJECT SHATTERS]
139
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,367
Whoops.
140
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:19,170
Okay, Daddy,
I cut up your paper.
141
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,605
And I'm sorry.
142
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:24,576
Especially since
today is your 35th birthday.
143
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,779
And also the anniversary
of our mommy's death
144
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,214
in that freak fishing accident.
145
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,085
- Cheer up, twins.
146
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,656
Remember your mother
is in a better place now.
147
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,425
- You mean, the bottom
of Lake Titicaca?
148
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,631
- No, on the shores of...
149
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,299
Lake Heaven.
150
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,938
Where no one ever gets
tangled in fishing lines.
151
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,439
- Oh, Daddy!
152
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,176
You're the swellest.
153
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,645
Well, Judy, we better
get back into that kitchen
154
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,914
and start dinner
before Daddy finds out
155
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,718
I used his brand new pipe
to blow soap bubbles.
156
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,832
- Look who's here!
157
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:25,871
It's your man-crazy
next door neighbor, Smitty!
158
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:31,476
- Hey, Smitty,
seen any hunks lately?
159
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,744
- Yeah, the mailman.
160
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:36,314
[LAUGHS]
161
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,849
What a hunk!
162
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,919
I'd like to give him
a special delivery.
163
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:47,025
- Smitty, I have a problem.
164
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,427
- Sounds serious, Hank.
165
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:52,263
What is it?
166
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,098
- Irregularity.
167
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,905
Also the twins.
168
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,841
Jody's a prankster
and Judy's a bookworm.
169
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,208
I'm sure I wouldn't have
these problems
170
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,246
if their mother, Harriet,
were still alive.
171
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,415
Gosh, I miss her so.
172
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,250
[AUDIENCE "AW"S IN SYMPATHY]
173
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:16,187
- What you need is a chick.
A mother hen for the girls.
174
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,724
And someone
finger-licking good for you.
175
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,194
- Come on, Smitty.
176
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:27,065
What woman would give these
graying temples a second look?
177
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,801
- Hey, just do what
my hunk boyfriends do.
178
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:33,237
Dye your hair jet black.
179
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,707
- All right, I'll do it.
180
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,577
Tonight I'm going to dye.
181
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,950
My hair.
182
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,489
- Oh, Judy, I just heard
the most terrible thing.
183
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,959
Our daddy's
going to die tonight.
184
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,628
[AUDIENCE "AW"S IN SYMPATHY]
185
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,299
ANNOUNCER: Seein' Double!
will be back on the double!
186
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,867
[GIGGLES]
187
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,072
And now, back to Seein' Double!
188
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,339
Ha ha ha!
189
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,379
- Oh, I know that look.
190
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,850
You're thinking maybe
I didn't hear Daddy right.
191
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:25,724
Well, maybe
I've done that before,
192
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:29,127
like the time I thought
David Letterman was coming,
193
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,562
because I overheard Daddy
tell Smitty,
194
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:35,433
"Guess who's coming to visit?
David."
195
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,268
I know if I hadn't
jumped to conclusions
196
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,871
and had waited for Daddy
to finish his sentence,
197
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,940
I would have learned it wasn't
David Letterman coming,
198
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,876
but David Smith,
an old family friend.
199
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,847
But this time's different!
You gotta believe me!
200
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,615
You just gotta!
201
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:55,286
Oh, you do believe me, you do!
202
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,622
So, what now, Sis?
203
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,457
We can't just ignore this thing
204
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,727
and hope it'll disappear
like Jimmy Hoffa,
205
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,896
Amelia Earhart,
Judge Crater
206
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,966
and the comedy team
of Wayne and Shuster.
207
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,105
Oh, you think we should pray.
208
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,106
Good idea.
209
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,277
Now where's that damn,
I mean, darn, prayer book?
210
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,547
In the pantry, of course.
211
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,549
You always know
where everything is.
212
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,850
You're so organized.
213
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,653
Not bubbleheaded like me.
214
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,526
Is this it, Judy?
215
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:39,564
No, Jody, that's Daddy's
bottle of scotch.
216
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:44,169
Oh, here's the book, Jody.
217
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,674
Hey, this isn't the prayer book.
218
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,944
It's my diary
and someone's been reading it.
219
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,013
Jody Bumpter.
220
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,949
Okay, you're forgiven.
221
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,218
Now let's pray to God.
222
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,456
Dear God, you took our mommy.
223
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,026
Please don't take
our daddy, too.
224
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,994
Also, could you lend
a helping hand
225
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:13,631
to all our brothers and sisters
in communist countries?
226
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,600
Thank you. Amen.
227
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,870
We should do something special
for Daddy tonight.
228
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:22,774
After all, it is his birthday
and he's dying.
229
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,844
What's his favorite thing
in the whole wide world?
230
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:30,248
No, Jody, it used to be fishing.
231
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,283
Now it's eating cream pie.
232
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:36,621
And we're going to make him
the best one ever.
233
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:41,126
And could you try to be
a little less messy this time?
234
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:45,864
Okay.
235
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,800
Maybe I didn't think
when I put the firecracker
236
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,802
in the Mix Master.
237
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,171
DICK:
Twin daughters.
238
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:56,574
It's me, Henry Bumpter,
your father.
239
00:12:56,743 --> 00:13:01,079
- Daddy's home! Uh-oh.
240
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:04,715
I hope I didn't goof up
the recipe.
241
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:08,619
And put detergent
instead of flour in that pie.
242
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,424
[SPORTS PLAYING ON TV]
243
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:14,425
- Boy!
244
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:19,130
I'd love to give that
Hulk Hogan the old Smitty-slam.
245
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:24,602
[LAUGHS]
Hey! No hair dye.
246
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,370
Smitty is a number six.
247
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,640
You want chicks,
you can't chicken out.
248
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,547
- I don't need
any hair dye anymore.
249
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:42,253
At the drugstore I met
the most beautiful pharmacist.
250
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:46,490
- You think
Maurice Fishbine is beautiful?
251
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,927
Well, I'll be a jive turkey.
252
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:53,965
- I'm not talking about Maurice,
I'm talking about his daughter.
253
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:58,736
Her name is Harriet,
just like my late wife, Harriet.
254
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:04,209
- Well, did you ask this Harriet
out for a little hot-cha-cha?
255
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,044
- Didn't have to.
She asked me out.
256
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,479
- Where are you taking
this chick-a-rooney?
257
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,149
- To a--to a costume ball.
258
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,417
I'm going as
the 35-year-old father
259
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:16,955
of 15-year-old twin girls.
260
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:22,260
Either that,
or as a giant rutabaga.
261
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,564
- And Harriet, the pharmacist?
262
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,533
- She'll be going
as the Grim Reaper.
263
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,436
She'll be here at seven
to pick me up.
264
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,706
- So, what you're saying is
265
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:39,510
the Grim Reaper is coming
for you at 7 o'clock.
266
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,814
- Or to put it another way,
267
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,550
I'm going to see
Harriet tonight.
268
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:53,992
- Well, I guess I'll go over
to the gym and pump iron.
269
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:58,462
Iron is the name of the stud
who runs the juice bar.
270
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,506
- Twin daughters,
I'm going to my room now.
271
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,189
- I can't believe
what you just told me,
272
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,826
that the Grim Reaper is coming
for Daddy at 7 o'clock.
273
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,028
[DOORBELL RINGS]
274
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:33,197
Uh-oh,
the Grim Reaper is early.
275
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,432
Maybe if we're quiet,
276
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,969
he'll think no one's home
and go away.
277
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:41,973
How ironic.
278
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,609
Jody knocked over the urn
that contains Mother's ashes.
279
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,214
[DOORBELL RINGS]
280
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:54,752
Oh, great, now the Grim Reaper
knows we're here.
281
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,188
Oh, you have a scheme?
282
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,824
Okay, you go in the kitchen
and get the you-know-what.
283
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,393
I'll stall the Grim Reaper.
284
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,099
Is that you, Grim Reaper?
285
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,668
HARRIET:
Why yes, it is.
286
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:11,669
- Uh...
287
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,505
we already gave at the lake.
288
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,547
Jody, are you ready yet?
289
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:26,584
Okay.
290
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,453
On three.
291
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,888
One, two...
292
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:32,890
HARRIET:
Why, hi.
293
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,859
I'm Ha-
- We know who you are.
294
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,661
Three! Here's pie in your eye.
295
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,900
- Why, I never.
296
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,536
Mmm, detergent.
297
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:53,878
- Looks like the Grim Reaper
got his just desserts.
298
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:58,649
- Jody, Judy, why did you
just throw a detergent pie
299
00:16:58,818 --> 00:16:59,984
in Harriet's face?
300
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,252
- Harriet?
301
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:04,822
You know the Grim Reaper by name
and it's a woman?
302
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,625
Man, oh, man.
303
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:10,294
- That Grim Reaper was my date.
304
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,863
We were going to a costume ball.
305
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,600
What must've happened
306
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:20,571
was you misinterpreted
what you heard earlier...
307
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,775
and thought I was dying
308
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:28,913
when actually I was
just going to dye my hair
309
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,249
so I could meet a nice woman.
310
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:32,517
[AUDIENCE "AW"S IN SYMPATHY]
311
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:36,187
- Oh, Daddy, we're sorry
we jumped to conclusions.
312
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:40,158
We were afraid of losing you
like we lost Mommy.
313
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:47,698
- Oh, my twins,
you'll never lose me.
314
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,633
Sure, I may have
a few gray hairs,
315
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:52,736
which get even grayer
the more you two pull
316
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:58,609
your teenage shenanigans,
but heck, I'm only 35.
317
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:02,246
I'm going to be your father
for years to come.
318
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:07,285
Oh, my twins, I love you so.
319
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,989
- Oh, Daddy,
we love you so, too!
320
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,091
- Look who's here!
321
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,294
Man-crazy Smitty with big news!
322
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,996
Me and Iron are getting hitched!
323
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:22,733
Come on in, you stud, you!
324
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,535
- Hi everybody!
325
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,887
- It's like I'm seeing double.
23957
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
