Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:04,236
[♪♪♪]
2
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,543
- Mail call.
3
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,611
- Right here!
Here I am.
4
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,081
- It's for Dick.
5
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,048
- Oh, fud.
6
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,385
Why do we even bother
having a mailbox?
7
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,320
- It's a status thing.
8
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,757
- Boy, Dick,
that's some rooster.
9
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,362
- It's-it's a hand, George.
10
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:41,166
- Are you sure? It looks
more like a rooster.
11
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,034
- Okay, it's a rooster.
12
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,069
You want it?
13
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,305
- Wow, thanks!
14
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:53,445
Look Joanna, an original
unsigned Dick.
15
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,450
- Nice rooster.
16
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:00,652
- Oh honey,
listen to this:
17
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,387
th-the Brookville Academy
wants me to speak
18
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,490
at their commencement
ceremonies next Saturday.
19
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,291
- Well, that's wonderful.
20
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,328
I don't believe I've ever
heard of the Brookville Academy.
21
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,297
- A-And listen to their motto:
"Educating tomorrow's leaders."
22
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,334
Not--not followers,
mind you, leaders.
23
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:16,735
- Why would they
want you to speak?
24
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,670
You're not important.
25
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,642
- Stephanie, I'm a successful
author and talk show host.
26
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,410
- Yeah?
27
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,647
- Maybe somebody lost a bet.
28
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,887
- Hi ho, Loudon,
and Loudon counterpart.
29
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,258
Hello, Stephanie.
30
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,425
- Michael.
31
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,798
- So, that's some bag
you've got there, Michael.
32
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:48,634
- It's for you.
33
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,370
It's all the little momentos
you've given me
34
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:52,404
through the years.
35
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,707
I figured you'd want them back
now that we're apart. So...
36
00:02:56,943 --> 00:03:00,546
- "Number One Lover"?
I didn't give you that.
37
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:06,318
- Right, I-I bought it for
myself.
38
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,954
It was on sale.
39
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:15,527
- Well, it would be silly
for you to keep these things.
40
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,730
After all, we mean nothing
to each other anymore, right?
41
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,533
- Right.
42
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,240
- Michael,
guess who's going to speak
43
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,809
at the Brookville Academy's
commencement ceremonies?
44
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:33,712
[CRYING]
45
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,482
I-I-I am.
46
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,588
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
47
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,356
- Hi.
48
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,592
I'm Larry.
This is my bro...
49
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,662
Uh-oh, Darryl, I think
we may have wandered in
50
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,465
on some smooth boys in action.
51
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,171
- What, uh, what can I do
for you guys?
52
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:03,375
- We've come to remind you about
our dinner party this Saturday.
53
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,810
Also, to tell you
to dress casual,
54
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,646
although Darryl
does have strong feelings
55
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,815
about people who wear
culottes to dinner.
56
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,120
- Oh Larry, I'm sorry,
we can't make it this Saturday.
57
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,289
Dick has a speaking engagement.
58
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,391
- As I recall,
when we made these dinner plans
59
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,228
four months ago,
you promised to be there.
60
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,730
We should have known
you were just slipping us
61
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,266
the old rubber possum.
62
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,500
Come on, Darryl.
63
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,502
- Guys, guys, wait.
64
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:33,705
What--what if--what if
Joanna went alone?
65
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,307
- What?
66
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,543
- I guess that would be okay.
67
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,446
I don't think so, Darryl.
68
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,448
Even though Miss Joanna
will be coming unescorted,
69
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,984
she's still a married woman.
70
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,657
- Larry, you know
I'd love to go,
71
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,859
but Dick needs me
at the graduation
72
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:58,797
to look on adoringly
as he speaks.
73
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,733
- Hey JoJo, what if
I go with you?
74
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,402
I don't have a life.
75
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:05,870
And the unemployment office said
76
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,806
I should never
turn down a free meal.
77
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:08,807
- What do you say, Miss Joanna?
78
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,976
We'll be serving most of
your favorite vertebrates.
79
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,781
- Then how could I say no?
80
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,316
- Great.
81
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,150
Darryl, why don't you watch TV,
82
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,620
so I can discuss
the dinner menu.
83
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:22,788
They may have food allergies.
84
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:26,525
We don't want their throats
to swell shut.
85
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,695
- You know, Lar,
I do seem to have
86
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,497
a slight reaction
to jumbo shrimp,
87
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,599
although regular shrimp
doesn't affect me.
88
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,235
And clams, well,
don't get me started.
89
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,538
- Actually, that was
just a clever ruse
90
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,774
so I could explain
my desperate need for company.
91
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,710
See, even though my brothers
are more fun
92
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,879
than a barrel of Jan Murrays,
they...
93
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,815
they're just not deep thinkers.
94
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,384
They'd rather spend their time
making teeth mosaics
95
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,653
than discussing
anything of relevance.
96
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,623
- Kids today, you know,
if-if they're not watching MTV,
97
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,426
they're--they're making
tooth art.
98
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:09,568
Guys, would, uh, would you like
me to turn that TV on for you?
99
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:27,753
Oh--oh, Joanna, do you
find this inspiring?
100
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,522
"As you leave these hallowed
halls and go forth--"
101
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:31,956
- I don't want to hear it.
102
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:36,261
Because of you, I may
have to eat beetle tonight.
103
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:40,866
- I-I understa--I understand
it tastes like, uh, chicken.
104
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,437
Honey, would--would you stop
worrying?
105
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,905
Y-you'll have a great time.
106
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,974
All--all you have to do
is-is-is believe in yourself,
107
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:54,979
and if you believe in yourself,
you can climb any mountain,
108
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,715
ford any stream,
follow any--
109
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,418
- What the hell
are you talking about?
110
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,621
- Uh, it-it's from my speech.
111
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:04,856
Were--were you inspired?
112
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,426
- Yeah, to get a gun.
113
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,763
- Salutations, Dick,
and date.
114
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,434
Are you ready for a scrumptious
dinner of God knows what?
115
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,668
- Ready as I'll ever be.
116
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,938
Been coating my stomach
since this morning.
117
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,973
- Now listen up, Michael.
118
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,976
I want Joanna home
at a decent hour
119
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,478
and I don't want her
walking in here
120
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,881
with her blouse misbuttoned.
121
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:31,783
- Don't worry, sir.
122
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:32,784
I'll have your spouse
in her blouse
123
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,619
in the house by 11.
124
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,191
- Good--good lad.
125
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:44,763
Well, I'm off to enlighten
the future leaders of America.
126
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:50,001
Joanna, are-aren't you
going to wish me luck?
127
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,138
- Are you going to be
eating bugs for dinner tonight?
128
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:56,808
- 'Night, honey.
129
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,419
- Don't you have a home?
130
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:11,322
- I'm here to escort Joanna
to Larry, Darryl and Darryl's
131
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:15,727
for an evening of fine dining
and highbrow conversation.
132
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,330
You ready? We better get there
before our dinner slithers off
133
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,801
or waddles off.
134
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,603
- Goodnight, Stephanie.
135
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:25,770
- Watch out for him.
136
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,807
He likes to touch your thigh
when he's shifting.
137
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,743
- I'll sit in the back.
138
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,090
- Hi, Stephanie.
What are you doing?
139
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,993
- Having a much better time
than Michael and Joanna
140
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,029
could possibly have
in a million years.
141
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,765
- Oh, sorry I interrupted.
142
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,969
- Oh George, wait.
143
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:02,306
It's just that this is
the first Saturday night
144
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:05,577
since I was 13
that I haven't had a date.
145
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,547
- You don't need a date
to have fun on a Saturday night.
146
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,550
I hardly ever go out,
and I have lots of fun.
147
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,718
- Really? What do you do?
148
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,755
- Well, first I make
a big bowl of popcorn,
149
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:22,661
sometimes with Mrs. Dash and
sometimes with Molly McButter.
150
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,363
Then I plant myself
in front of the TV
151
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:28,967
and eat until I'm so full
I see dots.
152
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:34,673
Then I wash it down
with a gallon of scotch.
153
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,382
- Darryl, how many times
must I tell you
154
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:47,552
the chipmunk fork
goes to the right?
155
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,487
The salad fork...
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
156
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:50,956
Our guests have arrived.
157
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,126
Darryl, put that
joy buzzer away.
158
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,762
There will be no
novelty items tonight,
159
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,865
and that includes wax lips.
160
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,668
Sorry.
161
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,542
Hi, I'm Lawrence,
this is my good brother, Darryl
162
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,979
and this is my other
good brother, Darryl.
163
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,781
- Hey guys, nice digs.
164
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,651
Not half as weird
as I thought it'd be.
165
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:20,652
- Thank you.
166
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,221
We appreciate
the backhanded compliment.
167
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,825
Miss Joanna,
your being in real estate,
168
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,827
you'd be qualified
to help us.
169
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,261
Darryl's been
batting around the idea
170
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,864
of putting our home
on the market.
171
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,067
What do you think
our little nest would fetch?
172
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:40,038
- Well, the land alone
is worth at least $30,000.
173
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,742
- And the combination
of land and house?
174
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,710
- Seventeen, tops.
175
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:50,815
- Before dinner, we thought
we'd start with cocktails.
176
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,952
- Oh. Sounds great.
I'll--I'll have a margarita.
177
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,020
- Bloody Mary.
178
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,521
- Listen to that, Darryl,
179
00:10:56,723 --> 00:11:00,025
Miss Joanna and Michael
name their cocktails.
180
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:03,394
What an interesting,
albeit eccentric, custom.
181
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,832
- Thank you.
182
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,870
Are we supposed to
eat these?
183
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,973
- I don't know. Let me try
a little improv here.
184
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,074
To the swamp.
185
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,109
- To the swamp.
186
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,079
- To the swamp.
187
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,794
Well, if we're all done
with our cocktails,
188
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,196
I'll go get
the finger sandwiches.
189
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,203
- Larry.
- Yes, Miss Joanna?
190
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,139
- You know what I like
doing after cocktails?
191
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,708
Holding our hands up
192
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,811
to make sure
all our fingers are there.
193
00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:01,953
Okay Larry, bring on
the finger sandwiches.
194
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:05,123
- Wonder what she'll do
when we serve the rump roast.
195
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,037
- You know, Mr. Loudon,
196
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:20,338
this year's graduates
have achieved
197
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:24,876
a higher degree of academic
excellence than ever before.
198
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,145
It's our hope that your speech
will inspire them
199
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:30,014
to even greater heights.
200
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,617
- Well, you know, this is my
first commencement address,
201
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,953
so I know I won't be
as polished as, say,
202
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:38,356
Lee Iacocca
or Bill--Bill Buckley.
203
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,727
- Oh.
204
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:46,264
Well, just do your best.
205
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,732
That's all we ask
of our students,
206
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,002
so that's all
we can ask of you.
207
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,905
- Sort of a-an "A" for effort.
208
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,174
- We'll see.
209
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,342
Now if you'll just
take your seat.
210
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,583
Did you even try to get
Iacocca or Buckley?
211
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,586
- They wanted money.
212
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,489
- Well, I just hate
scraping bottom like this.
213
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,730
- He's tough.
214
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,200
- Oh, he's tough, but good.
215
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:24,836
And because of him,
90 percent of our students
216
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,905
end up as heads
of major corporations
217
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,940
before they're 27.
218
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,741
- Wow.
219
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:34,813
How--how did I get this job?
Did s-somebody lose a bet?
220
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,182
- Sure, rub it in.
221
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,121
- Ladies and gentlemen,
222
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:47,125
good evening and welcome
to Brookville Academy.
223
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,761
I am Dean Dackman,
and it's a great honor for me
224
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:56,901
to introduce to you
the graduating class of 1989.
225
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,160
- Hit me.
226
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:28,099
- Gee, for a wine you said
tasted like swill,
227
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,534
you're sure sucking it back.
228
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,272
- Well, I was
too quick to judge.
229
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,642
This wine has a personality
that's not immediately evident.
230
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:43,314
- That's what my mother
used to say about me.
231
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:49,988
- Oh look, here's a picture
of Michael and me
232
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,323
on that picnic
in the forest.
233
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,125
We had to fire our maître d'
234
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,628
because he placed our blanket
on an incline.
235
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,903
- Hey, you want to
make a volcano
236
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,006
out of baking soda
and vinegar?
237
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:12,310
- Here we are
at the amusement park.
238
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,445
They kicked us out
because we stayed too long
239
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,148
in the House of Mirrors.
240
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:23,788
Oh, and here we are
in a rowboat on Lake Winnipeg.
241
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:27,992
It...it started to pour...
242
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:31,262
Michael had to
row the boat ashore.
243
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,401
- Hallelujah.
244
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,773
You know, I'm usually
not one to give my opinion
245
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:43,874
unless I'm asked,
246
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,978
but you're not acting
like the Stephanie I know.
247
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:51,449
- You mean, I'm usually
not a drunken sot?
248
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:56,154
- No, you're usually
not so pathetic.
249
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,488
- Wouldn't you feel
sorry for yourself
250
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,258
if Michael broke up with you?
251
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,927
- I'd be heartbroken.
252
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:07,999
I suppose like Pagliacci,
I'd hide my deep sorrow
253
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:12,503
behind the mask
of the happy handyman.
254
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:17,775
But then I'd be plenty PO'ed.
255
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,944
I mean, the nerve
of that Michael,
256
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:23,547
dumping a sweet guy like me.
257
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,451
- You're right.
258
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:27,785
Michael broke up with me.
259
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:30,521
I should be furious with him.
260
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:35,393
Who do you think you are,
you out-of-work clotheshorse?
261
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:38,229
I don't need you
and that damn rowboat.
262
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:41,232
- Oh, you ripped his head off.
263
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,404
- I'm just getting warmed up.
264
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,413
- Miss Joanna, how did you
enjoy your entree?
265
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,547
- What was it again?
266
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,984
- It was a little recipe passed
down from my Great Uncle Darryl
267
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:02,820
and my other Great Uncle Darryl.
268
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,089
Something old,
something new,
269
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:08,292
something borrowed,
something dead.
270
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,996
- Well, I'm glad to see
you included something
271
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,532
from each of the four
major food groups.
272
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,402
- You going to eat those quills?
273
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,072
- Enjoy.
274
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,775
- Thanks, I'll just take these
home for a late night suck.
275
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,145
- Well, I guess
it's time to begin
276
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,747
our intellectual discussion.
277
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,384
Yep, there they go again.
278
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,286
Any time they hear the word
"intellectual,"
279
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:38,222
they throw themselves
into their teeth.
280
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,560
Now, are there
any issues or topics
281
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,595
you're particularly fond of?
282
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,531
Etymology?
283
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,200
Theosophy?
284
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:50,668
Physics?
285
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:54,272
- Well, as long as I don't
have to turn my head and cough.
286
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,342
- I'll start the ball rolling
by throwing out a question.
287
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:01,212
What's your opinion
on the big bang theory?
288
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:09,887
- Well, uh, there's so many
schools of thought.
289
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:13,391
Personally, I think they're fine
if you have a high forehead.
290
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,062
- Excuse me.
291
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,132
- Do you feel as dumb as I do?
292
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,166
- Yeah.
293
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,269
- It seems I overestimated
the caliber of Miss Joanna
294
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,605
and Michael's intelligence.
295
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,607
I know now that I shouldn't
have looked elsewhere
296
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,210
for intellectual stimulation
when all along,
297
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:35,113
it was right here
in my own backyard.
298
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,187
Our problem now
is what to do about our guests.
299
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,557
Good thinking, Darryl.
You go get ready.
300
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:52,497
I guess you two are brain tired
from our mental workout.
301
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,298
Why don't we take a break?
302
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,500
- A break is good.
303
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,067
- My brothers
will now entertain you
304
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,370
with a musical interlude.
305
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:04,442
[playing piano notes]
306
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,266
- Good luck, Dillon.
307
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,404
You'll be a fine asset
to Merrill Lynch.
308
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:14,378
And now, I would like to
introduce our guest speaker,
309
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:19,750
novelist and talk show host
Mr. Richard Loudon.
310
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,323
- Well thank you.
Thank you, Dean--Dean Dackman.
311
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:29,193
A-actually, I'm not a novelist.
I write how-to books.
312
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,529
[CROWD GROANS]
313
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:39,337
But I-I have created some
memorable novel-like characters,
314
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:42,139
like Mr. Spevack,
315
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:47,511
the knowledgeable
hardware store owner.
316
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,849
Or-or Mrs.--Mrs. Sanacoy,
317
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:57,255
the--the well-meaning but daffy
plumber's assistant.
318
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,391
- Get on with it.
You're losing them.
319
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,461
- Gra-graduates of
Brookville Academy,
320
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,631
as-as you go forth
into--into college...
321
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,870
uh, kindergarten,
322
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,439
you'll--you'll look back
on these years--
323
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,810
uh, year--
324
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,980
with a great sense of nostalgia.
325
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:29,019
That--that means you'll, like,
remember all the fun stuff.
326
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,856
See, I-I thought you kids
would be older,
327
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:36,761
so a lot--a lot of my speech
doesn't, uh--
328
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:41,699
All right,
who--who shot the spitball?
329
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:48,372
Y-you may think that's funny,
but a person can lose an eye.
330
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:53,611
Of course, you know, it'd have
to be spit real hard.
331
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:57,348
You know, kids,
there are--there are two paths
332
00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:59,550
th-that you can take in life.
333
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:03,821
The one path, like the one taken
by the anonymous spitballer,
334
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:11,529
can lead to a-a life of crime
and possible imprisonment.
335
00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:18,402
The other path, I'll--I'll call
it the path of goodness,
336
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:22,673
can--can lead to a-a life--a
life of happiness.
337
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:28,879
So it-it's up to you to decide
w-which path you'd like to take.
338
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:37,421
Thank you, and that concludes
my speech.
339
00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:41,726
- Mr. Loudon, that was
a wonderfully brief speech.
340
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:43,494
- Not bad for
a how-to writer, huh?
341
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:46,564
- Well, you get
what you pay for.
342
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:51,435
Now, since we were all
so inspired by Mr. Loudon,
343
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:54,405
I think it only appropriate
that he now lead us
344
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:58,442
in the singing
of our school song.
345
00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:01,912
- D-Dean--Dean Dackman, I don't
know your school song.
346
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:04,715
- ♪ There was a farmer Had a dog ♪
347
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,485
♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪
348
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:12,490
♪ B-I-N-G-O B-I-N-G-O ♪
349
00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:17,628
♪ B-I-N-G-O And Bingo was his name-o ♪
350
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,797
♪ There was a farmer Had a dog ♪
351
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:22,666
♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪
352
00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:27,605
♪ [clap]-I-N-G-O [clap]-I-N-G-O ♪
353
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:33,577
♪ [clap]-I-N-G-O And Bingo was his name-o ♪
354
00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:38,015
[♪♪♪]
355
00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:04,842
- Meow.
27565
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.