All language subtitles for Newhart S06E24.en

Dick?

Honey,

I just met the most perfect,
wonderful woman

at the antiques shop,

and I can't wait for you
to meet her.

Well, honey, I'm, you know--

I'm pretty satisfied with you,
but let's hear it.

Her name is Irma Brown,
she runs the antique shop,

and I think she'd be great
for George.

Honey, couldn't you have
just come back

with a rocking chair?

[ Sighs ]

Come on, Dick.

I just thought I'd invite Irma
over tonight

and let George meet her.

Honey, why do all women

love to get involved
in matchmaking?

I think it's a real bad idea.

I mean, you're responsible
for the way

the relationship turns out.

And-- and if this thing blows up
in George's face, then--

then we've gotta put up
with his disappointment.

Yeah, but what if it goes great
and they really hit it off?

Then, I've gotta put up
with your gloating.

Jo-- Joanna, stay out of it.
George is fine.

He's happy with his life
the way it is.

Well, I'm ready for another
big Saturday night.

See?

I'm gonna re-grout the bathroom
in Room Six.

Oh, fix him up.

George, there's a woman
I'd like you to meet.

Her name is Irma Brown,

and she runs an antique shop
in Tyville.

-Tyville?
-JOANNA: Uh--huh.

That's eight miles away.

So?

I don't know, Joanna.

Those long-distance
relationships

are just trouble.

Now, George, I think she'd be
perfect for you.

-Really?
-Mm-hm.

Does she have blue eyes?

No.

Is she tall?

Well, no.

Does she have long hair?

Not really, uh--

Gee, Joanna, what made you
think of me?

[ Chuckles ]

George, just let me call her up
and invite her over tonight.

Well...

does she like
butterscotch pudding?

Just give her a shot, George.

All right, all right.
I'll see her.

Great.

I hope I did
the right thing, Dick.

I was really looking forward
to that re-grouting.

Hi. I'm Jim Ramming.
I'm here to check in.

Do you, uh-- do you have
a reservation?

Uh, no, but I don't think
that should be a problem.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, you're in luck.

We-- we have
a cancellation.

I thought there might be.

[ Chuckles ]

Uh,

I'll put you in Room Five.

Now you're sure that's
the best room you have?

You, uh, wouldn't be
holding back a better one?

Say, the Hamilton Room, hm?

[ Laughs ]

No, it's-- that's the only room
available.

Sure it is.

[ Clears throat ]

Look-- look-- look, you--

you-- you don't have to do that
here at the Stratford.

Oh, I-- I understand.

I'm terribly sorry.
Terribly sorry.

Please, uh, forgive me.

[ Chuckles ]

Let me help you.

Oh, well, thank you.

That's terrific.
Great job.

[ Chuckles ]

Ahoy, Popeye, Olive.

Is my Swee'Pea around?

[ Giggles ]

Come on, Michael.

We have just enough time
to catch the eight o'clock show.

We're off.

Uh, hold on, Stephanie.

We have a new guest
in Room Five,

a Mr. Ramming.

Did you bring him his towels?

Oh, Joanna, couldn't he drip dry
just this once?

Stephanie.

Great. Terry-fuzz.

Don't worry, cupcake.

I'll help you tote him
his towels.

Let's hurry.

Why bother going to the movies

if your grand entrance
is in the dark?

Well? How do I look?

Oh, George, you look nice.
Irma's going to be impressed.

And just remember, George,

you know, all blind dates
don't work out. So...

if this one doesn't, you know,
don't be too upset.

Dick, you could show
a little support.

No, I'm-- I'm--
I'm sorry, George.
Have a terrific time tonight.

[ Clears throat ]

And remember, I-- I didn't
have a thing to do with this.

I never know what to wear
on these things.

I mean, I only have
so many clothes.

And if I put on my best stuff
for the first date,

she'll just be disappointed
on the second.

-Irma, hi.
-Hello.

It's good to see you.

Irma, this is my husband,
Dick.

How do you do?

And this is George Utley.

Uh, hi.

Hi.

Normally, I'd never do this,
but Joanna was very persistent.

Well, normally, I'd never agree.

Can I get anybody
something to drink?

-Your mouth getting dry too?
-[ Chuckles ]

Dick, I could use a hand
with the drinks.

Hmm. Are you sure?

You've done such a good job
so far.

So,

Joanna tells me that you
grew up here at the inn

and that you love baseball

and that you're the best
handyman around.

Gee, she didn't give me
half as much to go on.

Well, there's not that much
to tell.

I'm an antique dealer.

Actually, the family's been

in the furniture business
for years.

My granddad sold 'em new,
I sell 'em used.

I love antiques.

That's good to hear,
'cause sometimes I--

I never know what's creaking,
me or my inventory.

Aw.
[ Laughs ]

George, have you ever been
to an estate auction?

There's one tonight in Tyville.

All the way over--?
It sounds like fun.

You know, for a blind date,

you're much more handsome
than I expected.

[ Chuckles ]

And for a girl without blue eyes
or long hair, you're okay too.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, you're, uh--
you're leaving.

Oh, yes. It's back to Tyville.

Well, I'm sorry this--
this didn't work out.

Oh, no, Dick.
I think Irma's great.

We're going to a big
estate auction there.

Well, that's-- that's nice too.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, why can't we have
more guests--?

Why can't we have more guests
like Mr. Ramming?

[ Chuckles ]

I just wish we hadn't
run out of towels.

[ Laughing ]

George, I'm so happy you had fun
at the auction.

It was fun.

I'm just glad I sat on my hands.

Or who knows what else
I would've bought.

Well, at least you got stuck
with a famous memento.

The nutcracker

from Franklin Delano Roosevelt's
very own kitchen.

Yeah, they told me it was
one of his favorites.

They say he kept it jammed
under his wheelchair

to keep it from rolling.

Thanks.

This place has the best water
in town.

It's the ice.

You know, I'm having
a real good time tonight.

Me too, George.

But then, it's hard to miss
when you have good company,

good ice.

Oh, uh, let me give you a tip.

Uh, be careful
of the � la mode.

The ice cream in here is so hard
it squashes the pie.

[ Laughs ]

Thanks, but I think I see
what I want already.

Butterscotch pudding.

Wow.

I didn't think this date
could get any better.

You know, tomorrow night,
farmer Mahoney

is throwing
his annual barn dance.

It's a lot of fun.

B.Y.O.B.:

Bring Your Own Bale.

That does sound like fun.

It can get pretty wild.

Last year it started at 9

and ran straight
through milking.

So shall we make it a date?

You're on.

So, you're seein' someone else.

I think he means you.

Cal.

Figures.

I come in for puddin',

I find you sippin' water
with another guy.

Cal, we agreed not to see
each other anymore.

Well, that didn't mean

the minute my back
was turned

you had to go take up
with a "Dapper Dan".

Please.

I guess goin' out
with a tree surgeon

wasn't good enough for ya.

You had to find a pretty boy
in a sports jacket.

What do you, anyway?

I'm the handyman
at the Stratford Inn.

Oh, a handyman.

Mr. Hotsy Totsy.

Now just hold on
a minute there.

Yeah, that figures.

Napkin in the lap
and everything.

Well, you listen to me
and you listen good,

Mr. Park Avenue,

I see you
with my girl Irma again,

I'm gonna tattoo your face.

Suddenly I'm not in the mood
for butterscotch pudding.

IRMA: I'm so embarrassed.

Maybe you should take me home

and forget
about tomorrow's date.

No. I like you.

And no bully is gonna keep us
from seeing each other.

And darn it, we're going
to have that pudding!

[ Knocks on window ]

I'll pick you up tomorrow

[ Voice breaks ]
at nine.

Good morning, George.

Good morning.

Okay, tell us all
about last night with Irma.

Well, we went out
to an auction--

Uh-huh.

--and got something
to eat afterwards.

I almost got beat up,

we made another date for tonight
and then I came home.

George, you almost got beat up?

Gee, Dick, you would have
to harp on the one bad thing.

Pass the cream.

George, what happened?

Irma's old boyfriend, Cal,
showed up at the diner.

And he threatened you?

Actually, it sounded
more like a promise.

He said if I saw Irma again,
he'd tattoo my face.

Was Irma serious
with this guy?

She said they only went out
for a little while.

She finally stopped dating him
when he slugged an usher.

JOANNA: He beat somebody up
at the movies?

At church.

Hey, there, hi there,
ho there!

Hi, Michael.

Ooh, stop-over in Sullen City.
What's all the hush fuss?

I fixed George up
on a blind date

with somebody who has
a very jealous ex-boyfriend.

That's easy, George.
Drop her!

I can't do that.

Oh, I get it.

Hooked yourself a looker.

Looks have nothing
to do with it.

Get real, Dick.

He's gonna get
his head bashed in

by some bozo Bluto
over a bow-wow?

George, maybe you can
sic this guy on Michael.

Well, I hope
I don't have to fight him,

but I'm still going out
with Irma tonight.

George, you-- you can't get
in a fight over a girl.

This isn't the 5th grade.

I wish it were.

I was taller than
everybody else.

George, the--
the-- the point is,
that fighting never--

never solved anything.

I mean, it-- it's-- it's
pointless and barbaric.

And-- and no way for two
mature grown men to--

to-- to deal with a--
a situation.

Yeah, tell that to Cal,

but first cut out
some of those big words.

Dick, I don't think we have to
worry about George.

He's always got that hammer.

Besides, we've got
TV to transmit.

But first a morning dose
of fresh squeeze

from my citrus sweet!

-[ Giggles ]
-[ Chuckles ]

Ooh!

Ah, thanks for getting
that door, pal.

Mr. Ramming,
I don't want your money.

You know, I-- I kinda helped
with that door thing.

You know, I'd, uh--

I'd really appreciate
a nice table this morning.

-You know what I mean?
-[ Chuckles ]

Certainly.

We have a very nice table
right over here.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

Of course, there's
an even nicer table right there.

Ah, yes!

[ Chuckles ]

What would you like
this morning?

Pancakes, eggs, or cereal?

Well, I think I'm in the mood
for something

a little more New Englandish.
Um...

Why don't you see if you
have a lobster back there?

Oh, Mr. Ramming,

I really don't think we have
any... I'll see what I can do.

Stephanie,

you're taking advantage
of Mr. Ramming.

Oh, come on, Joanna.
He's begging for it.

Go back there and give him back
his money.

[ Sighs ]

[ Heavy sigh ]

Here you go, Mr. Ramming.

You know, the proper way
to do this

is just leave it
under the plate.

Yes, and thank you for that--
that bit of advice.

-[ Laughs ]
-[ Chuckles ]

CAL: So there you are.

You in the shiny overalls.

Uh-oh.

I called Irma this morning
to ask her out for tonight.

She told me she was busy.

Well, it didn't take me long
to figure out

she was going out
with Mr. Fancy Pants here.

So I take a little pride
in how I dress.

Now, now, now, George.

From what poor sap
did you steal this one?

Joanna and her husband
run the inn.

Your boss's wife?

That's it. Come on!

Outside!

-Uh...
-Oh, wait a minute.

Just a minute here.

I will not have
any fighting here.

All right.

Vickers Park, tonight,
nine o'clock sharp.

I'm not going to be there, Cal,

because I have a date at nine,
with Irma.

Okay,

eight o'clock.

And you better be there.

[ Sighs ]

George, you're not gonna go
through with this?

Joanna, I'm not gonna be
intimidated.

Besides, I couldn't back down

in front of the whole
breakfast crowd.

Oh, Dick.

George just took off
for Vickers Park

to fight Irma's old boyfriend.

What?

He came here
and challenged George.

Did George at least
take his hammer?

Dick.

All right, Joanna,

I'm gonna go there

and put a diplomatic end
to this thing.

Oh, I don't know, Dick.

This Cal is
pretty unreasonable.

Joanna, relax.
I can handle this.

I've had a lot of people on--
on Vermont Today

with opposing views.

I've done the show
for four years.

No one has been hurt
and no one has been killed.

Dick, Cal is
a little more bloodthirsty

than The League
of Women Voters.

Joanna, calm down.

[ Sighs ]

Are you calm?

I-- I guess so.

See how good I am?

Mrs. Loudon, glad I caught you.

My room is nice, but I just saw
a little bigger one,

and I was wondering
if I could switch.

Mr. Ramming,
you don't have to do that.

If the room is available,
I will be glad to--

I don't think availability's
going to be a problem.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

What room did you have in mind?

The blue one around the corner

with the big, comfortable bed
and spacious walk-in closet.

That's my room.

Oh, I understand.
So I guess it's...

very inconvenient.

[ Chuckling ]
Oh, well.

Mr. Ramming, uh--

I was told the room
could be made available.

Well, who told you that? I--

Stephanie!

Oh, come on, Joanna.

Where's your sense
of adventure?

You and Dick could
pack up a few items

and just take off
for Room Six.

Think of it as a vacation.

Absolutely not.

Sorry, Mr. Ramming.

Oh, George, are you okay?

Uh, yeah. I didn't even
make it to the park.

Oh, good.

You've come to your senses?

Uh, no. I've gotta get
my tire iron.

George!

-I got a flat tire.
-Oh.

And I must've forgotten to
put the jack back in the truck

after I took off the snow tires.

Serves me right for being
in such a rush for spring.

Well, Dick just left
to break up the fight.

Didn't he pass you?

No. Darn it.

I guess I'd better jog
over there

and give Dick something
to break up.

George, take my car.

If you really insist
on fighting this guy,

I don't want you
to show up winded.

Thanks.

Is that guy really gonna
fight somebody?

I'm afraid so.

Twenty bucks to tell me
where Vickers Park is.

[ Crickets chirping ]

[ Clears throat ]

[ Dog barking ]

H-- Hi.

You, uh--

[ Clears throat ]
you wouldn't--

you wouldn't be looking for--

for-- for George Utley,
would ya?

What's it to you?

I'm-- I'm--
I'm Dick Loudon. Um--

[ Clears throat ]

Um-- George--
George works for me. I'm--

sort of, uh-- sort of, you know,
look-- looking for him too.

Ah, you found out
about your wife, huh?

Well, you're gonna have to
stand in line,

'cause I got first crack
at that gigolo.

George, uh--
George isn't a gigolo.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey, man, open your eyes.

All right, listen,
you do what you want,

but I warned Utley
what I'd do to him

if I caught him
with my Irma again.

Look, look, why don't--
why don't we, uh--

[ Clears throat, inhales ]

take a deep breath and, um,
just kind of,

collect our thoughts and, uh--

and just, uh, you know,

discuss this thing like the,
uh-- like the--

the two-- two adults that--
that we are.

Come on, come on, come on.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, I get it.

Pretty boy sends
his snotty rich boss

to beg for his hide.

Uh, Cal,

I mean, don't you--
don't you feel silly,

you know,

calling people names?

I mean, it-- you know,

[ Laughing ]

it-- it really makes you
seem small.

In-- in-- in the-- in the
abstract, of course.

Now I know why Utley isn't here.

He's a dirty lousy coward.

Cal,

you're-- you're not even trying
to discuss this thing

like the two grown-up men
that we are.

Not only is he the biggest
chicken in the world,

but he sends
a little pasty-faced

Lord Fauntleroy in his place.

Cal,

you got five seconds

to get your hand off my swing.

Oh, Dick.

How'd it go?

[ Clears throat ]

JOANNA:
A black eye, Dick?

You-- you should see
the other guy.

Oh.

Yeah, I didn't mean
to hit Cal so hard,

but when he hauled off
and socked Dick--

Sucker punched.

--well, Joanna,
I lost my head.

George,
fighting like schoolboys.

You're right.

I almost feel
like grounding myself.

But when that guy
hit my friend--

Sucker punched!

Anyway, I feel awful.
You were right, Dick.

Fighting is a silly way
to solve a problem.

It's barbaric, it's pointless,
and it's no way

-for two mature men--
-Oh, shut up, George.

Well, I can't remember
when I've had a nicer vacation.

[ Chuckles ]

I'd stay another week, but,
uh, this place costs a mint.

[ Chuckles ]

Still, I just have to thank you.

And you, uh--
[ Chuckles ]

and, uh, you.

[ Sighs ]

Mist-- Mister Ramming, we, uh--
we appreciate your generosity,

but all these tips
aren't going to get you

better treatment
here at the Stratford.

[ Clears throat ]

Gee, I always-- always thought
the only way

to get better service
was to buy it.

You don't have to do that.

Most people would be
glad to help.

Gee, I'm really touched.

I-- I don't know what
to say, uh--

I-- I gotta give you something!

Don't!

-Uh, Mister? You order a cab?
-Yeah.

Well, thanks again.
For everything.

-[ Chuckles ]
-JOANNA: Buh-bye.

[ Door closing ]

I wonder if any
of that sunk in.

TAXI DRIVER:
Gee, thanks, mister!

Meow.