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1
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:56,054
Dick, finish your feast and
feast your peepers on this.
2
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,323
It's a list of the 400
wealthiest people in television.
3
00:00:58,358 --> 00:00:59,824
Don't bother checking.
You're not on there.
4
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:00,825
[ Giggles ]
5
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,496
But don't worry, Dickster,
6
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,298
I've come up
with a moolah-making idea
7
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,432
that'll put you
on next year's list,
8
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,833
right up there with Merv,
Dick Clark,
9
00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:09,867
and that Bochco guy.
10
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:11,403
[ Clears throat ]
11
00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:13,071
Sure, Michael.
12
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,740
Next month, they're holding
the annual Syndie convention.
13
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,476
That's the convention
where all the TV producers
14
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,377
try and sell their shows
for syndication.
15
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,412
Now, follow me on this.
16
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,215
We take your show,
Vermont Today ,
17
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,317
keep the basic charm
and homespun humor,
18
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:29,154
but we rename it
Small Town Today .
19
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:32,357
Suddenly you've got something
a whole nation wants to see.
20
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,592
That's not a bad idea.
21
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:34,892
Wait, Dick, you're being
short-sighted.
22
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,998
Michael, I think the
idea is okay.
23
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,033
You mean you like an idea
I came up with?
24
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:42,934
I think it's great.
25
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,802
I think we should go
to the convention.
26
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:45,870
Dick, I spent all night
working up
27
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:47,038
brilliant counter-arguments,
28
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:47,905
some of them in Latin.
29
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,544
Well, Michael, if stations
across the country
30
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,712
wanna syndicate me,
and Dick Loudon
31
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,382
can be seen nationwide,
um, why not?
32
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:59,417
Gee, I didn't count
on the old ego kicking in.
33
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:01,953
Where's-- where's
the convention?
34
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,021
MICHAEL: That's the best part.
35
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,589
Practice your Satchmo
impression
36
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,890
and get ready
to beat your tootsies
37
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,058
on the Mississippi mud.
38
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,926
In two weeks, we're going
to New Orleans.
39
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,863
[ Impersonating
Louis Armstrong ]
Oh, yeah!
40
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:15,300
Michael!
41
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:16,401
Cuppers!
42
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,836
Did I hear mention
of a glamourous city down South
43
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:19,771
that we've never been to
44
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,673
that has boutiques
and restaurants and--?
45
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,141
You're going alone, aren't you?
46
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,144
Not-- not alone, with Dick.
47
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,078
Same thing.
48
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,649
Michael, read my lip.
49
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:37,255
Steph, if I can sell
Vermont Today
50
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,223
in syndication,
51
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,492
we'll make enough money
to cure something.
52
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:41,493
[ Giggles ]
53
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:42,561
But don't worry.
We won't.
54
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,567
[ Giggling ]
55
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:53,971
Oh. Here we are, way down
yonder in Da Big Easy.
56
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,674
[ Giggles ]
57
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,676
Yeah. I never heard that before.
58
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,653
Um, Michael, you--
you didn't tell me
59
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,522
that we were going to have to--
to share a room.
60
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,690
Oh, it's the station budget,
Dick.
61
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:12,824
We're-- we're on a shoestring.
62
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,927
And-- and look at this, Michael.
63
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:18,263
We're-- we're even gonna
have to share a bed.
64
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,231
Dick, don't be disgusting.
65
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,100
There's a rollaway over there.
I'm sure you'll love it.
66
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,941
[ Unzipping luggage ]
67
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,612
Dibs on these drawers!
Dibs on these. And these.
68
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,616
Michael, you left me nothing.
69
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,351
I have designer ensembles,
Dick.
70
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,386
You have those
schlumpy cardigans.
71
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:44,389
Besides, I-- I-- I left you room
in the nightstand.
72
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:47,459
Just pull out the Gideon
and jam your duds in there.
73
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,127
[ Phone rings ]
74
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,263
Hello?
75
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,731
Oh, hi, Steph.
76
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,167
No, I haven't sold
Dick's show yet.
77
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,470
Well, sweet knees, we just
got here 15 minutes ago.
78
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,471
[ Giggles ]
79
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:03,207
But don't worry. I-- I will.
It-- It's a lock.
80
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,312
Oh, no. I miss you more
than you miss me.
81
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:08,012
[ Giggles ]
82
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,414
I do too.
83
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,582
[ Giggles ]
84
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:11,683
I do too.
85
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,653
I do too.
86
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:17,989
He does, okay?
87
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,998
O--okay, cupcake. I'll talk--
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
88
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,734
[ Kisses ]
89
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:33,070
Michael, the-- the phone company
gets real annoyed
90
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,273
when you suck someone through
from the other end.
91
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:42,781
Oh, till-- till tomorrow,
cupcake. Oh, okay.
92
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,349
Uh, Dick, Joanna wants
to talk to you.
93
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,250
Bye, cupper-wupper-uppers!
94
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:46,951
[ Giggles ]
95
00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:50,154
Hi. Hi, honey.
96
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:52,724
Huh? Uh...
97
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,528
it's about 65
and partly cloudy.
98
00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,798
You too. Bye.
99
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,903
Yeah, you really
got it bad, Dick.
100
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,174
Wow. This is great.
101
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:14,946
I get to sit in Dick's
chair when he's away.
102
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,948
And I get to check in
his guests.
103
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,617
And I get to drink from his cup.
104
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,619
Don't worry, Joanna.
That's where it ends.
105
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,892
[ Sniffing ]
106
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,395
Stephanie.
107
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,467
These eggs are runny.
108
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,935
And my cinnamon toast is burned.
109
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,804
Well, I'm depressed
about Michael being away!
110
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:43,575
Me too.
111
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:53,985
Hi. I'm Larry.
112
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:54,853
This is my brother Darryl,
113
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,988
and this is other brother
Darryl.
114
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,791
And we come bearing
unfortunate news.
115
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,993
We had a grease fire
over at the caf�.
116
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,060
A fire?
117
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,061
No human damage,
118
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,330
but all our major food groups
were scorched.
119
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,467
Our entire kitchen
was destroyed.
120
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,370
Well, guys, if there's anything
we can do to help...
121
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:13,605
As a matter of fact,
122
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,640
we was wonderin' if
durin' the crisis,
123
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:19,143
we could use your kitchen
to cook our caf� foods.
124
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:22,881
Uh, could I take back
that "anything"?
125
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,617
Miss Joanna, if we don't keep
the caf� goin',
126
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,151
our money'll dry up,
127
00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:28,887
and there goes
our standard of living.
128
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,423
Oh, guys, really, I--
129
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:34,292
If you won't do it for us,
do it for our regular?
130
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,192
[ Sighs ]
131
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,833
Okay.
You can use our kitchen.
132
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,935
Thank you. Miss Joanna,
you're a lifesaver.
133
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,938
Now all we need
is your dining room.
134
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:49,808
What?
135
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,477
Well, we knew better than
to dump this on you all at once.
136
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,547
Guys, really, I--
137
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,549
I'd like to help, but, see,
138
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,382
we need our dining room
139
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,284
to serve breakfast
to our guests.
140
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,586
You got yourself a deal.
141
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:02,821
You get it for breakfast.
142
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,355
We get it for lunch
and dinner.
143
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:05,289
Wow!
144
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,959
Diner food without having
to go out for it.
145
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,933
Well, okay.
146
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,400
Don't worry.
147
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,736
We'll do our darnedest
not to burn your place down.
148
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,623
Oh, here come
some potential live ones
149
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:39,491
for Small Town Today .
150
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,358
Here, country it up, Dick.
151
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,960
Put on this hat and suck
on this straw.
152
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,464
I am not wearing
farm accessories.
153
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,900
Okay, but while I'm pitching,
at least spit once in a while.
154
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:52,837
Hi. Welcome to
Small Town Today .
155
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:53,972
This show is a great buy,
156
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,307
and here's a man
for all time slots,
157
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:57,408
Dick Loudon.
158
00:07:58,578 --> 00:07:59,377
Hi.
159
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,578
What does he do?
160
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,546
You name it, he does it.
161
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,214
He interviews, he quips,
he spits.
162
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,583
I don't spit.
163
00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:08,987
And-- and-- and here,
have some, uh--
164
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,688
Have some genuine Vermont
salt water taffy.
165
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,127
Vermont salt water taffy?
166
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,329
It's a sales tool, Dick.
You're not an easy sell.
167
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:20,431
I mean, you're not exactly
Robie, the Atomic Rooster.
168
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:22,066
You can't even get
near that booth.
169
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,435
Hi! Meet Dick Loudon.
170
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,604
He has appeal
across the board.
171
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,573
He's-- he's more homespun
than Mark Twain.
172
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:29,941
He's cuddlier than Bert Convy
173
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,543
and he's more flexible
than Gumby.
174
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,544
[ Giggles ]
175
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,212
Well, if he is all that
176
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,714
he's gonna be tough
to turn down.
177
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:39,017
I'm Michael Harris, producer
of Small Town Today .
178
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,985
You've met our star host,
Dick Loudon.
179
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:41,986
I'm Erica Sloane,
180
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,022
vice president
with Westcott Broadcasting.
181
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,590
Westcott Broadcasting,
major shekels,
182
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:46,758
mucho mucho dinero.
183
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:51,796
Yes, we represent
55 independents nationwide,
184
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,531
and, uh, right now
we're in the market
185
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,232
for an upscale half an hour,
186
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,801
we could run on Sundays
against football.
187
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:57,835
Dick is perfect.
188
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,837
Women love Dick
because he's a father figure,
189
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,073
and the jocks like him because
they know they can take him.
190
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:02,774
[ Giggles ]
191
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,244
We're on a very tight budget.
192
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,480
We couldn't go over
40,000 an episode.
193
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,617
I think we can struggle
along on that.
194
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:13,685
Well, uh,
195
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,186
I think I'll look around
the rest of the exhibits
196
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,021
and see if anything sparks me,
but, uh,
197
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,957
I'm definitely interested
in what I see here.
198
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:19,824
I may be in touch.
199
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,292
Nice to meet you, Dick.
200
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,126
Michael.
201
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,398
Boy, that Westcott Group
knows how to pick 'em, huh?
202
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:28,432
[ Giggles ]
203
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,333
Hey, did you hear that?
204
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:30,534
40 thou a show.
205
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,369
It costs us about five.
206
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,672
Do you realize what this means
for Steph and me?
207
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,841
Michael, it's a long way
from a sale.
208
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,542
Well, maybe if you'd
whipped out the taffy.
209
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,511
Forget the taffy.
210
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,279
I'm the star of the show,
I'll-- I'll handle
211
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,447
the next couple
that comes by.
212
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,249
Hi. Hi, I'm Dick Loudon.
213
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,052
We-- we have lots of,
uh, features,
214
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,021
news, human interest.
215
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,155
Our-- our, uh--
216
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,492
our-- our show's--
our show's in color.
217
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,163
Uh, uh, uh, taffy?
218
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,235
Hello again.
219
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,703
Hi! Care for some sugar shock?
220
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,071
[ Giggles ]
221
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,574
I've looked around and decided
what I want is right here.
222
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,542
Great!
223
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,244
I'm interested
in purchasing two years,
224
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,080
104 episodes of Small Town Today
for syndication.
225
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,549
You mean it?
226
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:21,886
Well, there are three conditions
to this purchase.
227
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,988
One, that you deliver
the first 13 episodes
228
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,123
by June 15th.
229
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,025
No problema.
230
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,494
Two, that the price per episode
will be 40,000.
231
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,462
Well, okay.
232
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,099
And three, that you spend
the night with me.
233
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,135
Pardon me?
234
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,539
I'm very attracted to you,
Michael.
235
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:42,740
I'd like to go to bed with you.
236
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:50,381
Wow.
[ Chuckles ]
237
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,817
This is better
than winning luggage.
238
00:10:57,290 --> 00:11:00,024
Look, I-- I'm honored
by your offer,
239
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,393
but I-- I have a cupcake
at home.
240
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,097
I'm involved.
241
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,066
Well, that's too bad.
242
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,466
Are you sure
you won't reconsider?
243
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,534
[ Giggling ]
Well--
244
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,003
I really don't think I should.
245
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:15,740
Michael, think about
what you're giving up here.
246
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,876
I could do wonders for both you
and your business.
247
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,145
Now, I'm
on a very tight schedule,
248
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,646
and I need a decision right now.
249
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:24,448
Okay, yes.
250
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,090
Come on, Michael,
it isn't a senior prom.
251
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,660
We're just gonna go out
and see New Orleans.
252
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,829
Actually, uh, Dick,
253
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,331
that's what you're
gonna be doing.
254
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,666
What-- what do you mean?
255
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,502
Well, remember I told you the--
the show was sold and--
256
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,971
and we got our price?
257
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:49,006
Well, it's just
a little wrinkle.
258
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,041
What-- what is it?
259
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,276
She wants my bod.
260
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,348
What-- what?
261
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,850
Erica propositioned me, Dick.
262
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,551
She's offered to buy
two year's worth of episodes
263
00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:02,686
in exchange for one night
of passionate ya-ha.
264
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,759
Are you--
are you telling me that--
265
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,361
that talc wasn't for me?
266
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,298
Mich--Michael, I don't--
I don't believe this.
267
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:15,699
Dick, I'm not a vegetable.
268
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,268
I'm-- I'm an hombre
with hormones.
269
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,805
This lady is Venus
with an attach� case.
270
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,576
Besides, this is our only shot
at big bucks.
271
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:27,145
Michael, you--
you can't tell me the--
272
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,780
the other booths
are doing this!
273
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,650
How could I turn this down?
She's offering us a bundle!
274
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:33,584
She's gorgeous.
275
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,253
And she doesn't want
any commitments.
276
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,554
And no one will ever know,
except for you.
277
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,489
And hopefully her.
278
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:43,928
No complications.
279
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:45,229
Really?
280
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,265
What about Stephanie?
281
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,132
Oh, you--
282
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,133
you thought about her too,
huh, Dick?
283
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:55,139
Michael, you think that this
is-- this is just tonight.
284
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:55,472
But...
285
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,543
this is going to affect you
and Stephanie forever.
286
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,014
I mean, Stephanie is--
is-- is your...
287
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:05,883
[ Sighs ]
288
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:08,519
...cupper-wupper-uppers.
289
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,156
You-- you-- you can't do this.
290
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,191
Oh, come on, Dick.
291
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,725
In all the years you've been
married to Joanna,
292
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,660
you never Oingo Boingo'd
with another woman?
293
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:24,202
If-- if that means
what I think it means... no.
294
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,203
Really?
295
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,570
Because the buzz at the station
for a while
296
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:27,604
was that you and Pearl
had a thing going.
297
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,373
Michael, forget about the show.
298
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:30,607
Put on your coat,
and we'll go out
299
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,876
and do guy things.
300
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:32,776
Uh, Dick,
301
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:34,712
I'm staying.
302
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,447
Erica-- Erica's due here
in an hour.
303
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:38,816
She's coming here?
304
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,117
It's closer to my grooming kit.
305
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,388
Besides, you-- you did say
you wanted a night out
306
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:45,089
on the town.
307
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,961
Michael, I'll be back
at midnight.
308
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,331
Okay, okay, but if there's a bra
on the door,
309
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,298
that'll be the signal.
310
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:08,079
Here you go.
311
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,747
One Adam and Eve on a shingle.
312
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,017
One poultry surprise.
313
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,987
A handful of succotash.
314
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,392
Ew!
315
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,495
JOANNA: I know, Stephanie.
316
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,232
Joanna, look at these people.
317
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:31,402
I mean, shouldn't we be taking
injections or something?
318
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,238
They are a bit scruffy.
319
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,973
One of our guests asked me
if our hotel
320
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,375
was on a prison program.
321
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,513
Wow. It's exciting
living in a house
322
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,149
that's got its own
milkshake machine.
323
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,084
You know, when the guys
make me one,
324
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,853
they leave half in the glass
and half in the canister.
325
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,189
That way when you look down
and see you're empty--
326
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,893
--presto! You've got another
glass just waiting for you.
327
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,798
You find the good in everything,
don't you, George?
328
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:01,665
Uh-huh.
329
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:04,035
I hate that in a person.
330
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:05,903
[ Sighs ]
331
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,810
I thought this was a bed
and breakfast inn.
332
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,011
I didn't know
you served dinner.
333
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:17,415
We don't. This is
a temporary arrangement.
334
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,150
Oh. Uh, would you recommend it?
335
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,117
Well, not really.
336
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,487
Two? Right here.
337
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:29,226
We have a special today
on sea creatures.
338
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,566
LARRY: Ooh, hot potato, hot potato, hot potato!
339
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,938
Wait, you ordered
mashed potatoes,
340
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,106
didn't ya? Darryl?
341
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:50,047
Guys, guys,
[ Chuckles ]
342
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:51,515
we have to talk.
343
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,550
There's a problem here.
344
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,385
We know.
345
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:57,021
You're a clean freak.
346
00:15:58,557 --> 00:15:59,590
Huh?
347
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,558
Well, no sooner does
the lunch rush leave
348
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,327
than you swoop down
with a vacuum cleaner
349
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,996
and suck up the ambiance.
350
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:07,931
It's a sickness.
351
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,103
Miss Joanna, personally,
I could live with it,
352
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,604
but Darryl here's disgusted.
353
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:19,543
I'm afraid we'll have to feed
our multitudes elsewhere.
354
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:21,178
At least 'til you get therapy.
355
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,181
Thanks, fellas,
356
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,451
that's just the kind
of incentive I need.
357
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,956
This wasn't what drove
your husband away, was it?
358
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,971
Wonder if there's anything
in here about
359
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,240
cupcake cheating?
360
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:52,543
[ Car honking outside ]
361
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:01,985
Hi, cuppers!
362
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,889
Oh, I-- I just wanted
to hear your voice.
363
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:09,293
So how are things going
in getting our millions?
364
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,529
Well-- Well, Steph,
we're close to a deal,
365
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,963
but there are--
there are complications.
366
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,165
Let me lay out the details.
367
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,168
Oh, Michael, you know
I'm not a detail person.
368
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,835
Well, I don't like
the terms of the deal.
369
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,903
I may turn it down.
370
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,408
Are my perfect shell-like ears
hearing right?
371
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,642
Are you going
to come back home
372
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,079
not doing what you said
you were going to do?
373
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:30,581
Cupcake, if by some chance
it all goes tummy-up on me,
374
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,116
I've bought you enough gifts
to give new meaning
375
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:33,484
to the term
"Louisiana Purchase."
376
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:39,123
Michael, I have faith in you
as a boyfriend
377
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,691
and as a producer,
378
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,526
and I know you'll do
whatever it takes
379
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,595
to sell that show, so do it.
380
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,233
Are-- are you sure
you really mean that?
381
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:51,635
Beg if you have to.
382
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,137
[ Knock on door ]
383
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,238
ERICA: Michael?
384
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,672
I don't think that'll
be necessary.
385
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,510
Well, Steph, uh,
386
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,080
I-- I better go. I-- I've gotta
put this thing to bed.
387
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,047
STEPHANIE: That's the spirit.
388
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:07,951
[ Sighs ]
389
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:19,963
Hi. Sorry I'm early,
but I couldn't wait.
390
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:20,964
[ Chuckles ]
391
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:21,665
Hi.
392
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,337
I-- I thought they couldn't
improve on that
393
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:27,471
chocolate on the pillow thing.
394
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,639
[ Giggles ]
395
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:35,379
You know, I like you
without your glasses.
396
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:36,547
How do you know?
I'm wearing them.
397
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:42,419
Mm, I was right.
398
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,187
[ Chuckles ]
399
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:44,421
[ Chuckles ]
400
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,191
Uh, look, I-- I got--
I got us some,
401
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:48,925
uh, champagne to celebrate
our deal.
402
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,194
Of course, now you may
have to pour.
403
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:53,464
[ Sighs ]
404
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,699
Well, why don't we save it
for afterwards?
405
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,137
Yeah, afterwards.
406
00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:06,009
Well, I've never done this
with a TV executive before.
407
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:06,810
[ Chuckles ]
408
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,111
Hope I do well
in the overnights.
409
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,446
[ Giggles ]
410
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,815
[ Chuckles ]
411
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:14,552
You... are so adorable.
412
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:17,521
Whoops.
413
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:20,724
Hey! Great-- great to see you.
414
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:23,894
There, uh--
415
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:27,264
there-- there was no--
there was no bra on the door.
416
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:32,336
I'm sorry, Dick.
417
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,671
She's still wearing the signal.
418
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,007
I, uh--
419
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,444
I-- I forgot my wallet.
It's on the dressing--
420
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:41,878
I-- I'll get it.
I'll get it.
421
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:45,816
[ Sighs ]
422
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,985
Hi. Hi, how-- how you doin'?
423
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:52,323
[ Sighs ]
424
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:55,926
So I, uh--
425
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,060
[ Chuckles ]
426
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:59,563
I hear-- I hear you, uh--
you like-- you like my show.
427
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:03,900
[ Clears throat ]
428
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,203
[ Sighs ]
429
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:07,738
Boy, how--
430
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,041
how 'bout that Mississippi?
[ Chuckles ]
431
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:15,279
Mi--Mi-- uh, Michael?
432
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:21,017
Oh, thanks. Thanks.
Nice-- nice,
433
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:24,421
cha-- cha-- chatting--
chatting with you.
434
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:27,424
Dick, don't leave me alone
with this media vixen!
435
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,925
I don't know if I wanna
go through with it.
436
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:29,826
Then, don't.
437
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:30,794
But I don't know
if I don't wanna go
438
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:31,562
through with it either.
439
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,065
Michael, this is a decision
you're gonna have to
440
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,833
make all by yourself.
441
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,936
I mean, if you wanna go for
one-- one cheap moment of--
442
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:43,741
of guilt-ridden pleasure and
ill-gotten financial gain
443
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,009
or-- or remain true to--
444
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,178
to your sweetheart
back home
445
00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:51,282
who you supposedly love
with all your heart.
446
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,319
See what I mean, Dick?
It's a close call.
447
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,762
Erica, this thing,
448
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,363
you sort of backed me into a--
449
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:07,731
backed me into a corner to do...
450
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,067
Well, let's get to it.
451
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:18,542
[ Sighs ]
452
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,477
-Michael?
-Present!
453
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,647
Erica, I'm sorry.
454
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,949
I don't think I can go
through with this.
455
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:26,883
Why?
456
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:29,453
Because--
because I already have
457
00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:32,088
a cute quesadilla
occupying this ticker.
458
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,127
Are you saying you're sick?
459
00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:41,097
No. No, no, the point is,
460
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,335
this isn't right and--
and no amount of money,
461
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:47,671
although your amount was close,
462
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,141
is worth betraying her.
463
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,245
[ Sighs ]
464
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,848
Michael, I am very disappointed.
465
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:01,385
And you should be too.
466
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,687
I mean, you realize
at 40,000 a show,
467
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,223
you just lost yourself
over 4 million dollars?
468
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:08,592
[ Sighs ]
469
00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:11,928
How 'bout 20,000 a show
and some heavy petting?
470
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:17,868
No. No, I can't.
471
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:21,805
Good-bye, Erica.
472
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,579
[ Sighs ]
473
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,715
You know,
you really are a nice guy.
474
00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:35,452
Poor, but nice.
475
00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:41,258
[ Door closing ]
476
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:42,959
[ Sighs ]
477
00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:51,368
[ Car honking outside ]
478
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,672
To you, Steph.
479
00:23:11,256 --> 00:23:12,556
I wonder what she's
gonna do to me
480
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:13,757
for blowing this deal.
481
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:53,396
Meow.
42803
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