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1
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,053
Hi, George.
2
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:55,820
[ Sighs ]
3
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,691
Why-- why the long face?
4
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:04,262
Well, I know this is gonna sound
kinda silly coming from me,
5
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:05,597
but I'm homesick.
6
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,202
George, you-- you grew up
in this house.
7
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How-- how can you--
8
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,108
How-- how can you be homesick
when-- when you're home?
9
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,310
Yeah, this inn is virtually
the same as it was
10
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,344
when you were a kid.
11
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,013
Except, uh, for you two
being around.
12
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:26,851
Well, you-- you want us
to leave the room?
13
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:32,090
No. No, I just feel
kind of nostalgic.
14
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,726
I miss sledding down
Bleeker's Hill
15
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,894
on my flexible flyer.
16
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,998
I miss the smell of my dog
after a rain,
17
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:46,871
and I miss my mom's special
home-made pudding.
18
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,040
Well, there are four houses
at the bottom
19
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,142
of Bleeker's Hill now and...
20
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,178
since we don't really wanna
smell a wet dog,
21
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,215
why don't I try to make you
that special pudding?
22
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:57,982
Really?
23
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,184
Sure.
What's the name of it?
24
00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:00,818
George's Favorite Pudding.
25
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,724
Well, that's what my mom
called it.
26
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,093
It was also called
Indian Pudding.
27
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,497
I remember, because whenever
my mom asked if I wanted any,
28
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,331
I'd always say,
29
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:14,899
"And how."
30
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,371
Well, it cracked my mom up.
31
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,041
George, I'm gonna look
in my cookbooks,
32
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,776
find the recipe
for Indian Pudding
33
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,311
and whip up a batch for you.
34
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:27,879
You'd do that for me?
35
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,114
Yeah, you'd do that for him?
36
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:33,251
Remember last week when I--
37
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:36,087
I asked you to make me some--
some Yankee pot roast?
38
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:38,356
Well, yes, Dick, but this
isn't three in the morning.
39
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,393
Besides, this sounds like fun.
40
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,995
Boy, I really used to
love that stuff.
41
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:47,499
I ate a bowl of it every day
until I got sick of it,
42
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:50,835
and after only 40 years,
the craving is back.
43
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,072
Well, if you want me,
I'll be in the kitchen,
44
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,574
stirring up some memories.
45
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,579
G-- uh, George,
when she comes back,
46
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:01,513
would you also tell her
47
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,781
you have a craving
for Yankee pot roast?
48
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,619
I think she'll see right through
that one, Dick.
49
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,027
Hey, Dick. Look at us.
Notice anything?
50
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,533
We look even happier
than usual!
51
00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:22,434
[ Giggles ]
52
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,469
And here's why.
53
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,903
I've come up
with a great new idea
54
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:26,471
for a TV series.
55
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,708
How 'bout a home shopping show?
56
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,044
Michael, I-- I don't know how
to break this to you,
57
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,680
but there already are
quite a few
58
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,048
home shopping shows.
59
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:38,450
Dick, where do you expect me
to get my ideas?
60
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,183
Make them up?
61
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,017
[ Chuckles ]
62
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:43,421
But this one is unique,
63
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,756
because it would be starring
one of the most
64
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:45,823
exciting personalities
65
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,759
to ever push a painting
of poker-playing pooches.
66
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:50,695
My little muffin,
67
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,664
Stephanie Van--
as in Vanna
68
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:55,700
--derkellen.
69
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,068
Pretty exciting, huh, Dick?
70
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,870
I-- I definitely felt a chill.
71
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,073
It's the job she was born to do.
72
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,642
Her total lack
of marketable skills
73
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:04,409
makes her a natural.
74
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:06,911
It's perfect.
75
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:09,180
The combination of me
and shopping.
76
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:10,582
Is God involved or what?
77
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:15,754
When-- when does this
whole incredible thing kick off?
78
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,555
As soon as we get you
to agree to do it.
79
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:20,759
A-- Agree to do what?
80
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:21,926
To co-host the show.
81
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:23,361
We have an absolute
go-ahead from Bev,
82
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,329
pending an okay from you,
83
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:25,797
and, as I recall,
not two minutes ago,
84
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,098
the idea gave you chills?
85
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:29,534
No.
86
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:32,771
Talk about wild mood swings.
87
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:37,074
Michael, I wanna do this very,
very, very badly.
88
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,044
Dick, you heard her.
Three verys.
89
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,616
Michael, I hate
home shopping shows.
90
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:45,684
Dick, let me get this straight.
91
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,785
Just because
you hate something,
92
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,286
does this mean you won't take
money to do it?
93
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:50,922
Yes.
94
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,126
How do you talk to somebody
like that?
95
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,469
Hi, Dick.
96
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:06,938
Hi. Hi, Stephanie.
97
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,273
I bet you're wondering
what brings me
98
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,776
into your dreary little study
on a nice day like this
99
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,977
when I don't have to be here.
100
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,280
No, actually,
101
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,483
I have a pretty good idea
of why you came in here.
102
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:24,155
You know, your penholder
is a little far away.
103
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,557
Let me move it for you.
104
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:28,993
Thanks, Stephanie.
105
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:32,630
I also moved the penholder
on the registration desk
106
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,432
closer to where
you usually stand.
107
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,967
Now, will you do
the shopping show with me?
108
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:38,503
No.
109
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,172
After I did all those
favors for you!
110
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:44,843
Dick, you've got to do it.
111
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,979
Never in my life have I ever
been refused anything before.
112
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,313
I might die.
113
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,518
Well, I'm-- I'm up
to tempting fate.
114
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:58,923
[ Sighs ]
115
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:01,158
I'd hoped it wouldn't
come to this, but...
116
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,694
as your employee, I am--
117
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:03,828
saddened to announce
118
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,630
that unless you co-host
the show with me,
119
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:08,199
I'm going to be forced
to initiate a work slowdown.
120
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,371
Oh, I'm--
I'm sorry to hear that.
121
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,140
Let me know when it starts.
122
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,915
[ Typing ]
123
00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:27,852
Dick?
124
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:37,295
I want a home shopping show.
125
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,402
Nice performance, Steph.
126
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,110
[ Sobs ]
127
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,514
Dick, it would mean
a lot to me.
128
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:58,850
I don't let many people
129
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,718
see me sobbing
gently this way.
130
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,823
[ Sobs ]
131
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:10,161
I, uh-- I appreciate that and--
and I'm sorry.
132
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,498
All right, Dick, I'm through
toying with you.
133
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:14,833
You're forcing me
to fight dirty.
134
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:23,608
Please, Dick.
135
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,480
Well, okay.
136
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,150
How did she do that?
137
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,891
So, Dick, the key here
is to adlib.
138
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,493
Just say wonderful things
about the product
139
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,227
until the phone goes nuts.
140
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:44,462
Just have fun with it.
141
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:45,897
Michael.
142
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,868
Here, watch while I practice
pointing at items.
143
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:54,506
Wow, Steph!
144
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,339
You're my magic muffin!
145
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:59,777
DIRECTOR: Okay, kids. Places. In three, two...
146
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:03,581
You're shopping at home Isn't it fun all by yourself?
147
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,184
You're shopping at home Isn't it fun with no one else?
148
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,653
Shopping, shopping
149
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,722
Shop, shop, shop, shop, shop!
150
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,156
Hi, I'm, uh--
151
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,592
I'm-- I'm Dick Loudon.
152
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,027
And I'm Stephanie Vanderkellen,
153
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:18,496
and I hope everyone is ready
to shop their brains out today.
154
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:24,068
So let's get right
to our fabulous first item.
155
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,039
Oh, uh--
156
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:33,310
the, uh, the ceramic,
uh, unicorn lamp.
157
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:38,182
Uh, as you can see,
it's-- it's perfect for,
158
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:40,484
uh-- for having
something to, uh--
159
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:45,089
to turn on, you know,
when you walk in-- into a...
160
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,526
[ Clears throat ]
161
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,862
in-- into a dark--
uh, dark room.
162
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,766
See, uh, on.
163
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,468
[ Switch clicking ]
Off.
164
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,040
On.
165
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:05,643
Off.
166
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:11,449
So, you know, call in now and--
and order one if you--
167
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:18,522
you-- you think you might
conceivably want one.
168
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,058
So while we, uh--
169
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,026
while we wait for those calls,
here's--
170
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,730
here's Stephanie with-- with--
with another value.
171
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,199
[ Chuckles ]
That's right, Dick.
172
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,802
It's this one-piece plastic
chip and dip platter
173
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:31,936
which is called the Globetrotter
174
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,805
because it has all these
tacky little sailboats
175
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,173
stencilled on it.
176
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,441
It's probably just perfect
177
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,242
for the kind of people
178
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:39,844
who would watch
a show like this.
179
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,114
And here's the best part.
180
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,716
It's only $9.88.
181
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,550
Even you poor people
can afford one.
182
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:49,120
[ Phone rings ]
183
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:49,821
Ah!
184
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,456
Hi, you're shopping
your brains out
185
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,925
with Stephanie Vanderkellen.
186
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,928
MONTY: Hi. I'm Monty from Burlington.
187
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,630
You're a very cute girl.
188
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,166
I'll take one of those platters.
189
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:03,835
Aw, only one, Monty?
190
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,905
Oh, uh, okay. I'll take, uh, 10.
191
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:08,973
[ Laughs ]
192
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:10,307
Terrific!
193
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,010
Uh, while I deal with
the flood of calls,
194
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,045
here's Dick with our next item.
195
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,249
Thanks. Thanks, Steph--
uh, Stephanie.
196
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,917
Uh, the next--
197
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,121
the next item is--
is this, um,
198
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:28,325
stunning, uh, gorilla pin.
199
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:31,996
[ Clears throat ]
200
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:35,466
As-- as you can see, the, uh--
the eyes and--
201
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:38,602
and the nostrils are clusters
of something called,
202
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,673
uh, cylindric diamicron.
203
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,343
It's, uh-- it's really...
204
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,216
It's, uh--
205
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,053
[ Sighs ]
206
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,121
You, uh-- you could
wear this to...
207
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,095
So, you know, if it's--
if it's something you want,
208
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:04,796
I guess, uh--
209
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,099
I guess you might--
might as well
210
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:10,835
[ Clears throat ]
phone right in.
211
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,737
[ Stephanie sighs ]
212
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:15,306
Uh, Dick, can I interrupt here
for a moment?
213
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,341
I'm getting to all your calls
for the chip and dips
214
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:18,242
as fast as I can.
215
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:19,243
Please be patient.
216
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:24,215
Well, all, uh--
all my lines are open.
217
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,985
[ Clears throat ]
Remember, it's-- it's genuine
218
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,488
cylindric, uh, diamacron.
219
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,492
That's, uh, almost as rare
as glass.
220
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,067
Our producer, Michael,
asked me to take a pass
221
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,468
at this unicorn lamp.
222
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,303
Okay.
223
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,341
[ Sighs ]
I'll admit, it's a little gaudy,
224
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,177
but believe me, a lot of you
who are watching right now
225
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,047
have more than your share
of gaudy items in your home.
226
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,815
And I really don't think
that buying one more
227
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:58,716
is going to kill you.
228
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,053
I bet the light will reflect
really nicely
229
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,721
off those polyester slipcovers.
230
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,391
Watch me as I pose with it
231
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:09,460
in a variety
of interesting ways.
232
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,803
[ Phone rings ]
233
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,405
Yes, you're--
you're on the air.
234
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,641
MAN: Hi. Can I speak to the girl?
235
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:26,944
Sure.
236
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,513
It's-- it's for you.
237
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,749
Yes, who's this?
238
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,450
KEN: Ken from Montpelier.
239
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,987
Hi, Ken, do you like
the pose I'm doing?
240
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:36,988
KEN: I sure do.
241
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,758
In fact, I'll take four lamps.
242
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,394
Four?
243
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,461
KEN: Okay, a dozen.
244
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:50,134
You, uh-- you need any gorill--
gorilla pins today, Ken?
245
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,703
KEN: What does the girl think? Does she like 'em?
246
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:54,538
Sure. They're okay.
247
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,007
KEN: Fine. I'll take two.
248
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,876
Great. Great. They're--
they're terrific, aren't they?
249
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,111
KEN: Make that one.
250
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:10,321
What are you reading?
251
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,756
A book on salesmanship.
252
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,261
Well, it obviously worked.
You bought one, didn't you?
253
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,129
[ Laughs ]
254
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,765
Oh, come on, Dick.
255
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:25,837
You're taking this whole thing
much too seriously.
256
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:28,439
Just because Stephanie
sold more unicorn lamps
257
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:29,373
than you did?
258
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:30,942
And more gold chains.
259
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,743
And more party canisters.
260
00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:34,078
And more gorilla pins.
261
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:38,749
I mean, that's what really hurt,
the stupid, stupid gorilla pins.
262
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:41,485
Dick, you never even wanted
to be a salesman.
263
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,519
Yeah, but I wanted to be
264
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,155
an ineffectual salesman
even less.
265
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,757
You-- you know, I--
I've been looking at that--
266
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,327
that loudmouth guy
on television that--
267
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,062
that does the stereo ads.
268
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,897
Uh, Loonie-- Loonie Lenny.
269
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,335
I've started looking at him,
uh, with a new set of eyes.
270
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:58,836
He is damned good.
271
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,639
Hi, George. Guess what?
272
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,376
I have a batch of something
special for you.
273
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,577
-The pudding? -JOANNA: Uh--huh.
274
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,314
Wow, this is so exciting.
275
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,950
Dick, do you mind if I sit
in the exact place
276
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,085
I sat as a kid?
277
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:15,987
Fine with me, George.
278
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,555
You're in it, Dick.
279
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:24,495
Oh...
280
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,697
Gee, this feels good.
281
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,067
I've been missing this spot
all the years
282
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,269
you've been hogging it.
283
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,374
Here you go, George.
284
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,909
Oh! Thanks.
285
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,547
-It smells just right.
-Great.
286
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:51,688
Joanna, this is
absolutely delicious.
287
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,991
Oh, good! I can't tell you
how relieved I am.
288
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,660
Yeah. I've never tasted
anything like it!
289
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,465
Huh?
290
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,935
Yeah, it's nothing like
the pudding my mom made.
291
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:09,073
Well, that's okay, George.
I only made the one vat.
292
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,444
Aw, don't feel bad, Joanna.
293
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,679
It's-- it's almost
exactly like it,
294
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,148
it's just that yours
is too thick,
295
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:21,185
too maple-walnutty,
needs more vanilla,
296
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,487
and I don't remember
this aftertaste.
297
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,227
You can have your seat
back now, Dick.
298
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,029
George, don't you worry.
299
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,197
I am not gonna rest
300
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:36,200
until I make that exact
pudding that you had as a boy.
301
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,307
Well, I'm never gonna get
my Yankee pot roast.
302
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,209
Don't worry, Dick.
303
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:47,611
It probably won't taste like
you were expecting anyway.
304
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,417
Congratulations, Dick.
305
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,485
For-- for what?
306
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,087
For being part of the most
entertaining show
307
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,021
to hit the Vermont area
308
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,156
since Miss Teenage Vermont
lost a strap.
309
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,057
[ Giggles ]
310
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,260
The station is thrilled
and everywhere we go,
311
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,728
people on the street
are smiling and waving
312
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:06,197
at my little selling sweetie.
313
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,008
Hi. I'm Larry.
314
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,275
This is my brother Darryl,
315
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,776
and this is my other
brother Darryl.
316
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,115
Miss Stephanie,
317
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,950
we always enjoy
everything that you do,
318
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:30,621
but you were never more stunning
than in your TV debut.
319
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,456
You made us laugh,
you made us cry,
320
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:37,261
you made us buy about a ton
of cylindric diamacron.
321
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,334
May we present for your
mid-morning pleasure,
322
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,336
our impressions
of the constellations.
323
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,772
First, the Big Dipper.
324
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,812
Next: the Little Dipper.
325
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:01,618
That's, uh, very nice, fellas,
326
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,221
but Steph and I have
to be going... now.
327
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,290
Michael, let's call up
a nice restaurant
328
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,259
and use my new celebrity status
329
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:08,992
to bump somebody
330
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,394
who already has a reservation.
331
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,128
[ Giggles ]
332
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:13,697
Okay.
333
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:14,932
Big finish.
334
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,667
Darryl, shooting stars!
335
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:22,639
[ Clears throat ]
336
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,708
Dick, here's your breakfast.
337
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,077
Pudding.
338
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:30,681
I, uh-- I guess there's
no problem if I--
339
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:33,050
I wanna have some more of this.
340
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,420
You're not still reading that?
341
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,490
Honey, it can't hurt to brush up
on some-- some sales techniques
342
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,225
that, you know, could help me
on the show
343
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,094
and in-- in everyday life.
344
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,095
Right.
345
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,663
Just don't become obsessed
with this.
346
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,232
[ Watch alarm ]
347
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,032
Oops.
348
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,803
Time for another Loonie Lenny
commercial!
349
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,610
So how's my on camera cutie
today?
350
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:03,581
Michael, people came up to me
while I was buying cream rinse.
351
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,949
But, Steph, you like that.
They're your fans.
352
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:08,285
But now everybody thinks
they can talk to me.
353
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,888
Michael, farmers talk to me.
354
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:13,857
When I go on the air today,
355
00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:15,159
I'm going to make
an announcement
356
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,994
that only pleasant-looking
people can come up to me.
357
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,264
Uh, Steph, this is just a guess,
358
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,399
but I think that could
affect sales.
359
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,202
But we can talk about this
later, it's-- it's just a
minute to air.
360
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,003
I'm tired.
361
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,272
Could we do the show
later today?
362
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,374
Sorry, Steph,
no can change schedule.
363
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,577
Hey, hey,
how's everybody doin'?
364
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,219
Bring on those
chip n' dip platters.
365
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:42,819
[ Chuckles ]
366
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:44,455
Whoa! What is this?
367
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,824
I don't know what it is,
but I love it,
368
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,426
and I can sell a million of 'em.
369
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:54,031
Ew, Michael, yuck.
Let Dick go first.
370
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,266
Uh, Dick, I guess you--
371
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,767
you've seen your first item.
372
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,235
Seen it and loved it, pal.
373
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:00,571
Let's play ball.
374
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,506
You're shopping at home
375
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,208
Shopping, shopping
376
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:05,276
Shop, shop, shop, shop, shop
377
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,143
Hi!
378
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,844
And welcome to Vermont's
first and only
379
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,480
home shopping show and me?
380
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,282
I'm Strange Dicky Loudon.
381
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:14,051
And why am I strange?
382
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,487
Well, wait until you see
my prices.
383
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,055
You're not only gonna think
I'm strange,
384
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,756
you're gonna think
I'm psychotic.
385
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,427
Let's take a look
at our first item,
386
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:25,563
this metallically-decorated
plastic ball
387
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,198
will turn any ordinary gathering
388
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:28,965
into the gallivant
of a lifetime
389
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,167
and that's not all!
390
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,769
This ball is completely studded
with genuine
391
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,505
cylindric diamacron!
392
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,540
I'm talkin' enough
cylindric diamacron
393
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:37,974
to choke a horse
394
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,510
or to make a horse
a chocker!
395
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:40,544
[ Laughs ]
396
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:42,479
Now,
397
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:45,816
you have seen...
398
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:47,818
this disco ball...
399
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,321
advertised for as much...
400
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,722
as $29.95,
401
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:55,326
but Dicky Loudon says
that price is all wet!
402
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,496
[ Laughing ]
DICK: O-- Okay--
403
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:02,899
Excuse me, Dick.
404
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,602
Hey, everyone!
Look who's here!
405
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,503
It's that wacky babe
of home shopping,
406
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,071
Miss Stephanie Vanderkellen.
407
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:08,772
Give her a hand!
408
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,847
Hi. I wasn't going to say this,
409
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,815
because I know how much
our viewers enjoy me
410
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,984
and how I mean the world to them
and everything,
411
00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:22,853
but I really can't go on
doing this.
412
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,588
I mean, I'm bored
of selling these things
413
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,423
and besides, it's not fair
to make me touch them.
414
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,295
It's probably a good idea for me
to quit the show
415
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,364
before I start to lose
my good taste.
416
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,098
I mean, look what happened
to this man.
417
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,770
That's all. Good bye.
Love ya.
418
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:44,107
Well, she's gone,
but I'm back!
419
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:45,175
[ Chuckling ]
420
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,077
We've got a lot of great values
for you today.
421
00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:48,044
People say to me,
422
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,448
"Dickie Loudon, how do you
get away with it?
423
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,449
How do you make a profit
424
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,984
with some of the prices
you charge?
425
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,319
Are you deranged?
Are you nuts?"
426
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:56,853
And I tell 'em, "Yeah!"
427
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:57,554
[ Laughing ]
428
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,726
Why else would I sell--
429
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,629
sell you this confederate
soldier cookie jar
430
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,265
with his wooden leg studded
with the miracle
431
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,700
of cylindrical diamacron
432
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,535
for only $19.95?
433
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:14,371
You heard me correctly,
$19.95!
434
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:15,339
Uh, excuse me, Dick,
435
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:17,073
I have to interrupt here
for a second.
436
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,075
Michael, you don't interrupt
a crazy man
437
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,178
when he's got rebel cookie jars
to sell!
438
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,880
I-- I-- I'm sorry, Dick,
439
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,582
but the show has been cancelled.
440
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,483
But why?
441
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:30,086
But-- but why?
442
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:32,856
Well, Dick,
we have to be realistic.
443
00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:34,458
Without Stephanie,
there's no show.
444
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:36,927
Um, Michael, I think--
445
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:41,898
I think Strange Dicky Loudon
is really catch-- catching on.
446
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,736
ANNOUNCER: We now switch to a rerun of Pearl's Kitchen
447
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:47,738
with her omelet already in progress.
448
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,974
Michael, I--
I can't believe you.
449
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:53,444
You-- you talk me into--
to doing a show that I hate,
450
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,045
and then I get excited about it
and then you--
451
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,347
you yank it away from me.
452
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:58,215
Well, I-- I tell you what, Dick,
just so we're all square.
453
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,083
The, uh-- the disco ball,
it's all yours.
454
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:04,221
[ Sighs ]
455
00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:05,422
Now-- now that it's all over,
456
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,424
I-- I know I should feel
re-relieved, but--
457
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,160
I don't know, somehow
I feel like I've--
458
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:11,194
I've-- I've failed.
459
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:13,430
Well, you did fail, Dick.
460
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,898
That might account
for part of it.
461
00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:20,437
Who would I talk to
about the fact that--
462
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,806
that the horn is coming loose
on my unicorn lamp?
463
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:28,912
Here you go, George.
Batch number five.
464
00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:31,482
By the way,
I'm sorry about that
465
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,884
force-feeding episode
with batch number four.
466
00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:36,587
[ Clears throat ]
467
00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:45,396
The color looks right.
468
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:46,329
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
469
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,598
I got the color right three
batches ago.
470
00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:48,298
Just eat.
471
00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:54,471
Wow!
472
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,473
Joanna, this is it!
473
00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:57,274
Really?
474
00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:59,175
There's no mistaking
that flavor!
475
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,611
This is it exactly!
476
00:23:00,646 --> 00:23:02,245
Oh, I did it! I did it!
477
00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:06,082
Yep, you sure did.
That's Mom's pudding.
478
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,551
[ Sighs happily ] JOANNA: Oh!
479
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,085
And I'm still sick of it.
480
00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:49,292
Meow.
42844
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