All language subtitles for Newhart S06E17

Are you ready to order?

Oh, wait a minute.
Weren't you in earlier?

Yes, but I just had to come in
and see you again.

You are so beautiful.

You have the most gorgeous eyes
and the prettiest hair and--

Sorry. I must be
embarrassing you.

Right.

I'm Norm Murphy.
Go out with me.

What?

Go out with me.

I'm sorry, no.

Really, I mean it.

So do I.

But I-- I've always wanted
to date a beautiful girl

just like you.

Well, sure,

but unlike me, you can't always
get what you want.

That waitress is the greatest.

I'm guessing he just checked in.

Dick, Joanna,

I was taking my morning walk
when suddenly,

across the clearing,
there he was!

The Great White Buck.

George, what's
The Great White Buck?

You don't know?

Dick, Joanna, let me tell you
the legend

of the Great White Buck.

Uh, George, isn't this something
you should be telling us

with a-- with a banjo?

One day, old farmer Skinner
was walking by a meadow,

and he came upon the biggest,
most magnificent,

pure white buck
ever to walk these parts.

The Great White Buck.

That year, this town enjoyed
the best year it ever had.

Really?

I just don't believe
that people think

a great white buck

is gonna bring good luck.

Well, Dick, it's a legend.

It's not like somebody
made it up.

George, we were
at the Tree Tap Diner

when we heard.

Is it true?

I was taking my morning walk
when suddenly, I saw...

The Great White Buck.

Jim, this is George's good news.
Let him tell it.

I saw the Great White Buck.

Told ya.

He was snorting big puffs of air
out of his nostrils,

and he had this look
of wisdom on his face.

And his antlers must have been
big enough to hang 40 hats on.

This is starting to sound like
something out of Dr. Seuss.

Dick doesn't believe
in the legend.

There's a surprise.

Dick, the Great White Buck
was seen here in 1950,

as far back as 1885,

and again in 1929.
All great years.

1929? That was the start
of the Depression.

Not for us.
This town prospered.

Yeah. If only that buck had
trotted down Wall Street.

And even though George just saw
the Great White Buck,

we're already being showered
with good fortune.

What-- what are you--
what are you talking about?

Well, I was at the Tree Tap
this morning,

and I had the best jelly
donut I ever ate.

Explain that.

Greetings, gringos.

I think I've come up
with a primo premise

for the kind of hard-hitting,

60 Minutes type reporting
you've been dying to do.

Really? That's--
that's terrific.

Imagine this in stereo,
where available.

Dick Loudon: Searching
for the Great White Buck.

Michael, you don't really
believe in this?

Dick, all I believe
in is that this big buck

can bring in big bucks.

[ Giggles ]

And just to make sure we get
that deer on camera,

I've arranged
for boffo buck bait.

Wardrobe's fitting you
for a salt lick slicker.

Michael, I am not doing
any report

on a silly legend about
some dumb deer.

Oh, that's right, Dick.
I forgot.

You don't like to get involved
with anything popular.

Told you I wasn't gonna date you
even if you do the dusting.

Steph, what's, uh--
what's going on?

Uh, Mr. Murphy keeps asking me
for a date.

He won't leave me alone.

Well, I won't stand idly by
while some poacher

forages around my love nest.

Mr. Murphy, this is
Michael Harris,

my fianc�.

And you really think you have
a snowball's chance?

Oh, there's always competition
for the best.

That does it.

In another two minutes,

I'm gonna have to
ask you outside.

Michael!

Well, I don't want
my muffin to hear

the vocal pummelling
I'm gonna give him.

It may get pretty frank.

Hey, I will have none of that
at my inn.

All right, I give.

I'm a lover, not a talker.

Get him.

Thinking he can get on
my good side

by doing my work for me.

That bozo.

So, Steph, where do you
keep the Windex?

Phew, boy.

I didn't think
I'd ever get out

of Wagner's Hardware Store.

[ Chuckles ]

Everybody wanted to hear
about the Great White Buck.

People were taking my picture,
shaking my hand.

Maggie Milford even lined
her children up to rub my head.

I just wish they hadn't stopped
at the bakery first.

Here you are, George.

Ooh.

[ Panting ]

Great news!
I finally got a job!

Yeah, they opened up
one of these

fancy new tanning salons
over at the college.

At first I thought it was
only gonna be part-time,

you know, sunny days,

but you're lookin'
at a full-time man!

And all because
my friend George

spotted the Great White Buck
in Utley Woods.

Did you hear that, Dick?
Utley Woods.

I never had trees
named after me before.

Harley, I'm happy for you,
but I don't believe in a--

in a good luck buck.

GEORGE: Oh, yeah?

Good luck is spreading
like wildfire.

This morning, that old oak tree
on the Swenson's place

came crashing to the ground.

Wiped out the whole
front porch.

That-- that's lucky?

Everyone was in the back.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl,

and this is my other
brother Darryl.

And we're here to announce
that major construction

has started on the fabulous new
Starlight Room

at the Minuteman Caf�.

You guys are expanding?

Not exactly.

Darryl here just punched a hole
in the roof over Table eight.

We're preparin'
for the onslaught of prosperity

brought about by the spotting
of the Great White Buck.

Already today, six people
came in to the caf�.

Two even stayed to eat.

That-- that is mythic.

Dick, don't be such
a stick in the mud.

Honey, I'm sick of-- of--
of listening to people,

uh, attribute
everyday events to--

to some cockamamie legend.

Hi. Are you the proprietor?

Yes.

Well, I got a group that's ready
to ski for two weeks.

And I want every room
you can give me.

Hey, this is your lucky day.

Shut up and sign in.

Oh, Stephanie.

I couldn't find you.

Oh. Well, it worked for a while.

Hey, it's gonna be
a perfect night

for a sleigh ride.

We have to talk.
Sit down.

[ Clears throat ]

Do you know where I've been
for the past half hour?

Cleaning.
In the basement.

Avoiding you has forced me
to inhale must.

So stop it. There.

You want me to stop now?

And I've never gotten
this far before.

Come here a minute.

Look at me.

Now look at you.

Now look at us together.

See what I mean?

Please, I'm not asking you

to spend the rest
of your life with me,

just one evening.

O-- okay a dinner.

Five minutes!

And I'll never bother you again.

You've got yourself a date.
Five minutes.

Terrific.

Okay, I'll pick you up at 8.

Maybe we'll take in
the opening credits of a movie.

Stephanie, is something wrong?

Oh, that Mr. Murphy just won't
leave me alone.

Joanna, how do you get men
to turn off you so easily?

It's a gift.

Dick?

Dick, what happened?

Are you all right?

I was-- I was driving...

back from the store...

and I-- and I saw it.

The Great White Buck.

Really?

It was the most gigantic

blur of--

of antlers and--
and hooves I've--

I've ever--
I've ever seen leap--

leap across--
across the road.

Well, I guess you're really in
for some good luck now.

I don't think so, Joanna.
I just...

ran over The Great White Buck.

Joanna, did you have
to bring me a white drink?

[ Thunder rumbling ]

Dick, you okay?

I'm-- I'm-- I'm fine, George.
Thank-- thanks.

You killed the Great White Buck
and not even a scratch?

G-- George, it came
out of nowhere.

The-- the-- the roads were icy.

There was-- I mean,
there was nothing I could do.

And you're really sure he was
the Great White Buck?

George, he-- he was just as big
and-- and magnificent

as you described him,

except maybe
with a little more...

surprise on his face than,

uh, than wisdom.

[ Raining ]

It's one thing not to believe
in our legend, Dick,

but did you have
to take your car to it?

Why'd you even bother
with a sedan?

Why didn't you just use
a howitzer?

Okay, where's
the Bambi-basher?

I've just come from the scene.

Woulda been here sooner,

but it was kinda hard
to get all those antlers

on the chalk outline.

Well, here's something
you never heard before.

I just lost my new job.

Harley, what happened?

Well, to celebrate my first day
at the tanning salon,

I gave the first dozen customers

an extra 10 minutes
under the sun lamp free.

Well, Loudon, now that you
rubbed out the big fella,

the specter of bad luck
hangs over this town

like a beer belly
over a pair of chinos.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl,

and this is my other
brother Darryl.

Due to the demise
of the Great White Buck,

business at the caf�'s
been destroyed.

More bad luck.

Look, it-- it-- it was
a beautiful animal,

but it-- it didn't bring
good luck,

and its death isn't gonna
bring bad luck.

[ Thunder cracking ]

Well, this is terrific.

Four inches on the mountain,
all rain.

Aw, there goes our ski trip.
We're all checking out.

Rain in February?

It'll ruin the whole
ski season.

Town's going to pot
and while I'm mayor.

What are we gonna do?

According to the legend...

There's-- there's more?

The legend says
if anything happens

to the buck,

to rid the town of the bad luck,
the person responsible

has to perform the Rite
of the Dancing Wood Nymph.

Oh, it-- Oh, no.

Dick, I know
it wasn't your fault,

but you oughta do something.

I'm not gonna go prancing
through the woods

like-- like some pixie.

Come on, everybody.

At least there's something
we can do.

Let's go to the armory,
form a huddled mass,

and wait for Armageddon.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Knocks on banister ]

Is Stephanie home?

[ Chuckles ]

Yes, she is, Mr. Murphy.

Oh, please, not so formal.
It's Norm.

After all, we'll be spending
the next five minutes together.

Okay, Norm.

[ Sighs ]

Well, I wanted our first date
to be special,

so I thought we could enjoy
some wine

and a little casual
conversation.

That's nice.

Begin.

Hey, beautiful fire.

Uh-huh.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Stephanie, I don't want you
to take this the wrong way.

I mean, you're a wonderful
person and everything,

but I don't think
this is gonna work out.

What?

Sorry. I just think it best
if I ended it now.

Wait.

You're ending this?

Now that I've spent some time
with you,

I realize you're just
not my type.

Not your type?

We've spent two minutes
together!

Oh, Stephie,
stop torturing yourself!

It's over!

Hey, I've done it.

I've dated a beautiful girl.

Now I've even dumped one, too.

Obviously, you don't
understand English.

I told you to keep your manos
off my cute quesadilla.

She's all yours.

[ Huffs ]

Well, looks like he took
my verbal venom verbatim.

Michael, something very wrong
just happened here.

And it's all your fault
for killing that dopey deer!

You too?

Well, I've just been dumped,
and the explanation

can only be supernatural.

Gee, Dick, isn't there anyone
your tire tread hasn't touched?

Uh, hi-- hi, George.

Hi.

Uh, George, you-- you--
you won't believe this,

but I-- I was-- I was taking
a walk in-- in--

in the deep part
of the woods and--

and out of this hole pop--
popped the biggest red--

red woodchuck I-- that--
that I have ever seen.

Geor-- George,
I think it was the-- the--

the Great Red Woodchuck!

Nice try, Dick,
but I don't think this town

would get behind any legend
that has an overbite.

George, believing in--
in the Great White Buck is--

is like-- it's like believing
in Santa Claus.

George, you--

you don't believe
in Santa Claus?

Why?

Are you gonna run him over
too, Dick?

Look, I know
this buck business,

and the wood nymph dance
are silly,

but... there are a lot of
things in life I can't explain.

Like how we get honey
from a little bee

or why a bubble is
perfectly round.

Why not square?

Or why do freshwater fish stink

but the fresh water
tastes great?

Just because you can't
explain luck

doesn't mean it isn't real.

I mean, take me.

Yesterday, I had a whole woods
named after me.

Now, Utley Woods
has been replaced

by Loudon Curve.

GEORGE: Well, here we are.

The exact place I saw
the Great White Buck.

Boy, it sure brings back
a lot of memory.

I have a feeling

this is gonna stick in your mind
for a while too, George.

Let's get this ritual started.

You know, Dick,
I'm really grateful

you decided to
go through with this.

I mean,

-[ Birds chirping ]
-seeing you here,

doing all this for your friends
and neighbors,

well, Dick, I--

I don't think I ever respected
a person more.

Now, get on your tippy toes
and flap your hooves.

There they are.

Just like George said.

-George--
-I didn't tell them.

We overheard you
in the feed store

when you were buying the burlap
for Dick's costume.

Mildred was right.

The 50-pound bag is too long.

[ Birds chirping ]

Whoa.

What do we have here?
A little stag party?

[ Laughs ]

Officer Shifflett,

we didn't hear you
following us.

Thanks.

Look, I'm not gonna do this
in front of you,

so you may as well
all go home.

Let us stay, Dick.

Yeah, we'd feel silly

spying on you
from the woods.

Oh, what the heck.

The sooner I do this,

the sooner I can forget
this day ever happened.

How long is this ritual?

I've only got enough tape
for four hours.

Look, uh, wh-- why don't I just
take off all my clothes and--

and-- and pose on
a bearskin rug?

No, let's get this first.

Oh, what the heck.
I-- I may as well do it.

People are gonna be
talking about this

for the rest of my life anyway.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl,

and this is my other
brother Darryl.

Told ya we shoulda
camped out overnight

so we'd get a decent seat.

[ Birds chirping ]

Joanna?

Dick performed the ritual,
and I was his witness.

Well, one of 'em.

Gee, I didn't think
there'd be such a crowd,

and I know Dick didn't.

Harley got the whole thing
on tape.

Come on.

There's a set in the study.

So did the ceremony get rid
of the bad luck?

You betcha.

Thanks to Dick, everybody
feels better already.

It's amazing what
a good laugh'll do for ya.

[ Laughing ]

[ Clears throat ]

Dick, honey, I know
it wasn't easy.

[ Laughter ]

But you went through with it,
and I'm proud of you.

Hey, everybody, come here
and watch this!

Oh!

Come on, come on!

Come on!

Oh, go ahead, Joanna.

Thanks, honey.

It's just stuff I took
of the woods

before I got there.

Wait, uh, what's that
walking in the corner?

It's a green deer.

No way. It's not green.

The tint's not adjusted right.
Th--

[ Gasps ]

-[ Gasps ]
-Oh!

The deer...

it's white!

Wait. You know
what we've got here?

Son of White Buck.

[ Gasps ]

And George spotted it.

Yeah, in Utley Lobby.

The town's good fortune
is back!

Yay!

Congratulations!

Wait, wait, wait a minute.

You mean I didn't have to
go through that silly ritual?

No.

But at least we had
the good fortune

to see you do it.

I'm declaring tomorrow
Son of Buck Day.

I've even come up with
a perfect new job for Harley,

as chauffeur for Dick.

What?

No way in hell

we're lettin' you on the road
till spring.

Meow.