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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:48,646 VOICEOVER: Previously, on "Newhart". 2 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,550 We've experienced a series of dud dates. 3 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,318 We've gone from fantastic to flat, 4 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,619 and we're trying to put some more pizz 5 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,020 into our zazz. 6 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,156 I recommend you stop seeing each other. 7 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,692 You mean take a brief vacation from each other. 8 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,493 I mean break up. 9 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,462 What if we got married? 10 00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:06,164 A wedding might be fun. 11 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:13,505 They're here. 12 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,274 Major bulletin! Major bulletin! 13 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,143 [ Makes news ticker noise, giggles ] 14 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,613 Michael and I are getting married! 15 00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:23,881 You mean it? 16 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,351 Yep. I'm officially gonna become her muffin man! 17 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:27,285 [ Giggles ] 18 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:29,921 Oh, Dick! 19 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:30,788 Oh, Joanna. 20 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:31,889 [ Giggles ] 21 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,358 Oh, Joanna! 22 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:34,526 [ Giggles ] 23 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:40,265 It's-- it's, uh-- it's Stephanie you're in love with, right? 24 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,733 Oh. [ Giggling ] 25 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,335 Well, we're thrilled. 26 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,704 Yeah. Uh, wasn't this-- this kind of sudden? 27 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:47,872 Sudden? This whole thing has been bubbling 28 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:48,940 for the last four years, 29 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,642 since we first became Cupid kebabs. 30 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,476 [ Giggles ] 31 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,912 On, uh, on-- on your double date with us, you-- 32 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,616 you know, you didn't seem all that-- all that bubbly. 33 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,083 Oh, we blame that mostly on you two. 34 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,323 George, hold onto your plaids. Steph and I are getting hitched! 35 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,892 Wow! You crazy kids! 36 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,461 -[ Laughing ] -Oh! 37 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:10,462 [ Continued laughing ] 38 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,399 -Oh, Joanna! -I've, uh-- 39 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,670 I've-- I've bagged my limit. 40 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:19,737 [ Chuckling ] 41 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,939 Uh, when's the big event? 42 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:22,907 A week from Sunday 43 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,309 at Mommy and Daddy's mansion; 44 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:25,810 246 guests, 45 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,945 Hal Rosemont Society Orchestra 46 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,549 and the color scheme is petal pink. 47 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,217 That sounds wonderful. 48 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,618 Yeah. I better call Mommy and Daddy 49 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,319 and let them know. 50 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,088 Natch, you're all invited. 51 00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:38,657 And, Joanna, 52 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,292 I want you to be my maid of honor, 53 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,359 'cause I love you. 54 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,362 Oh, Stephanie, thank you. 55 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,231 And this way you have to do everything I say. 56 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,133 Oh, and Dick, since, uh, 57 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,535 Joanna's gonna be maid of honor, 58 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,903 naturally, it follows that you be 59 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,805 my flower girl. [ Giggling ] 60 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,410 I'm just kidding. [ Giggles ] 61 00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,545 You're my best muchacho or nothing. 62 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,251 There-- there's a choice? 63 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,454 George, you're in for accolades too. 64 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:10,955 How does head usher sound? 65 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:14,359 Wow! It'll be the most exciting day of my life! 66 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,228 I know. [ Giggles ] 67 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,464 Oh, Michael! We've got a zillion things to do; 68 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:20,599 choosing the flowers, 69 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,966 designing the invitations, 70 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:23,235 selecting the music... 71 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,369 I think our first dance 72 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,670 should probably have a latin flavor. 73 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:26,571 Mm. 74 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,373 What-- what are your plans afterwards? 75 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:29,608 I'm leaning reggae. 76 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:30,342 How 'bout you, sweetcake? 77 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:34,011 No, I-- I think Dick means things like 78 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,314 have you thought about your financial situation, 79 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,682 where you're gonna live? 80 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:40,151 Like-- like, not here, right? 81 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:42,754 Dick, we've got a wedding to plan. 82 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,021 We can't think about the marriage. 83 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,724 -[ Snorts ] -[ Giggles ] 84 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,558 [ Stephanie giggles ] 85 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,005 Oh. 86 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,242 Dick, I've been practicing my brains out being an usher. 87 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,243 Watch this. 88 00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,614 Are you with the bride or the groom? 89 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,484 Well, ac-- actually both, George. 90 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,189 I'm not quite there yet, Dick. 91 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,795 So how's the best man? 92 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,497 Have you come up with a toast yet? 93 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,598 Not yet. 94 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,667 I'm having a little trouble coming up with something 95 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,935 to rhyme with "tragic mistake". 96 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:35,707 Come on, honey, 97 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,909 I'm sure their marriage is gonna turn out to be... 98 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:40,612 ...not bad. 99 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,181 Boy, that's every couple's dream. 100 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,322 You guys didn't elope, did you? 101 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,790 No, we just came back from our blood test, 102 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,157 and Steph's feeling a little woozy. 103 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,429 Stupid, stupid blood testers. 104 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,063 Steph, you know I would've rushed to your side 105 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:01,132 if I could've run with my head between my knees. 106 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,944 Hi. I'm Larry. 107 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,011 This is my brother Darryl, 108 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,447 and this is my other brother Darryl. 109 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,183 We hear tell you two are tying the umbilical cord. 110 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,556 Miss Stephanie, be honest with us. 111 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,157 What'd he have that we didn't? 112 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,727 Was it his plastic good looks? 113 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,528 Or the way he talks? 114 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,465 Darryl here thinks he might be an illegal. 115 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,168 Guys, let me put it in simple English. 116 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:38,837 When Steph and I met, it was... 117 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,004 nirvana-rama. 118 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,309 Anyway, we brought you some wedding presents. 119 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,077 Darryl? 120 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,279 What-- what is it? 121 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,314 A pen from a bank. 122 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,919 And a partially frozen porcupine. 123 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,790 You know, something borrowed, something blue. 124 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,797 Thank you, Larry. 125 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,268 I guess all there is left for us is to RSVP. 126 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,203 Oh, uh, guys, this, uh-- 127 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,938 this wedding's way out in the boonies. 128 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:14,639 Uh, Newport. 129 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:15,807 Oh. 130 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,542 Well, that changes everything. 131 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:18,476 Who do we ride with? 132 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,677 Oh. 133 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,914 Guys, you-- you don't understand. It--it's not that simple. 134 00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:23,681 You just-- you can't-- 135 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,584 You're riding with Dick. 136 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:29,387 What? 137 00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,190 Oh, by the way, can we have a window seat? 138 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,798 Uh, wh-- uh, why? 139 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,900 Darryl likes to moon out-of-state drivers. 140 00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,743 Yes, I just want to make sure 141 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,512 that everything is exactly as per our agreement. 142 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,014 Eighty pounds of beluga caviar, 143 00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,685 200 magna of Dom Perignon champagne, 144 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,654 a 20-foot ice sculpture in the shape 145 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,489 of the Chicago Stock Exchange... 146 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,992 I don't care if it's making your life 147 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:09,393 a living hell. 148 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,163 I'm rich, and I want it. 149 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,368 Arthur, aren't we going a little overboard 150 00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:18,503 on this affair? 151 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:19,571 Nonsense, Marian. 152 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,940 How often does our daughter get married? 153 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,374 Twice so far. 154 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,344 Good morning. 155 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,012 -ARTHUR: Ah. - Good morning, everyone. 156 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,981 I hope you all had a pleasant night. 157 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,616 I slept like a log. 158 00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,550 [ Clears throat ] 159 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,686 I had nightmares about out-of-state drivers 160 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:35,987 pulling alongside our car. 161 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:42,226 Where are the pre-newlyweds this morning? 162 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:43,962 They are posing for the figurines 163 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,730 on top of the wedding cake. 164 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,367 We, uh-- we-- we did that. 165 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,878 This is quite a spread you guys got here, Art. 166 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:03,314 We're guessing that you must be one of them two income families. 167 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,318 These three chaps are a hoot. 168 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:08,419 [ Laughs ] 169 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,055 Everyone, please join us 170 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,590 for breakfast on the verandah. 171 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,325 Oh, boy! Another chance to practice! 172 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:17,896 [ Clears throat ] 173 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,631 Right this way. 174 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,133 Actually, it's this way. 175 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,804 I'm glad I got that handyman thing 176 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,872 to fall back on. 177 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,183 Oh, Michael, that posing was a lot tougher 178 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:40,317 than I thought. 179 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,385 No wonder other couples 180 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,120 settle for strangers on their cakes. 181 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,222 Ah, it's gonna be worth it 182 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,524 to see a miniature of my wonder wench 183 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,258 in butter cream. 184 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,196 Michael, everything's been so hectic. 185 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:53,097 Do you realize this is 186 00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:54,933 the first chance we've had to be alone? 187 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:55,934 You're right, Steph. 188 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,401 You wanna bend your ear to nibble distance? 189 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,135 [ Giggles ] 190 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,171 Are you happy, Michael? 191 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,406 Sure. Didn't you hear me just go-- [ Giggles ] 192 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:05,910 So you wanna marry me? 193 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,646 Steph, I know things were a little frazzled 194 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,214 the day I asked you to be my cuter half, 195 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,317 so right now I'd-- 196 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:15,553 like to do things right. 197 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,590 Michael, proposals are on one knee. 198 00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,324 Begging forgiveness is on two. 199 00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,025 Oh. [ Chuckles ] 200 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:22,560 Force of habit. 201 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,366 Steph, I want you to have this. 202 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,136 Oh, Michael, 203 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,074 it's the most... beautiful, most... 204 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,142 miniscule little thing I've ever seen. 205 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,278 Cupcake, I know it's small, but believe me, 206 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,848 it stretches every credit line I have to its very limit. 207 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,316 Aw, Michael. 208 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,651 I know you deserve better. 209 00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,252 You're right. I do. 210 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,355 But it is from you. 211 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:53,491 Oh, Steph. 212 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,260 From the moment I met you four years ago, 213 00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:58,796 my life has been nothing but wall-to-wall wows. 214 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,600 Stephanie Vanderkellen, 215 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:04,769 will you marry me? 216 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,640 Yes, you lucky dog, you. 217 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,543 Oh, Steph, I'm supposed to make you cry. 218 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:13,577 [ Giggles ] 219 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,145 Mommy! 220 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,648 Daddy! Everybody! 221 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,751 Stephanie, what is it? 222 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,586 Michael just proposed to me! 223 00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:27,992 Is-- isn't that why we're here? 224 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,361 Yeah, but I did it much better this time. 225 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:31,763 There's a ring and everything. 226 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:35,733 Where? 227 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,271 This isn't one of those squirter things, is it? 228 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,440 You know, if-- if you put your eyeball 229 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,408 right up to it, 230 00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:46,077 it's-- it's as big as anything. 231 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,578 Wow, what a rock! 232 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,082 Arthur, it isn't the size, 233 00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:52,750 it's the thought that counts. 234 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:53,718 Is not. 235 00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,655 Now, Mummy and Daddy, stop that. 236 00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:58,156 Michael, 237 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:02,160 this ring will always have a special place in my heart, 238 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,861 if not on my finger. 239 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,329 Oh, Steph. 240 00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:06,463 Uh, by the way, 241 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,067 my secretary typed up that list of wedding vows 242 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,201 you asked for. 243 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,736 Uh, you might want to look it over. 244 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,104 Oh, poo. Papers. Michael. 245 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,541 They look fine to me. 246 00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:21,079 "For richer or even richer." 247 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,216 "In health and minor aches and pains?" 248 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,087 Quite a commitment. 249 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:31,189 Come on, Michael. 250 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,858 We have to start planning what's going to happen 251 00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:34,992 after the wedding. 252 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,528 Stephanie, that's great. 253 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:39,197 You have to practice feeding me the cake 254 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,431 so I get just enough icing 255 00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,066 on the tip of my cute little nose 256 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,435 to make it seem like I'm a good sport. 257 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,971 Icing on my cupcake. [ Giggles ] 258 00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:52,910 Loudon, I feel good about those two kids. 259 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,345 Uh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 260 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,446 [ Clears throat ] 261 00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:58,616 Right this way. 262 00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,584 Uh, actually, it's that way. 263 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:02,954 Darn. 264 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,488 I thought I had that one nailed. 265 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,158 Joanna, did you hear that? 266 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,026 I mean, when-- when it comes to the future, 267 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,361 they-- they-- they haven't looked past the-- 268 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,429 the tip of Stephanie's nose. 269 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:13,898 Oh, come on, Dick. 270 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,366 I mean, when you and I got married, 271 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,667 we didn't know everything. 272 00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,035 We thought it was gonna be fun. 273 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,074 I mean all the time. 274 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,909 Joanna, you-- you and I were different. 275 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:25,777 We-- we were mature. 276 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,246 I mean, we-- we didn't call each other 277 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,446 "muffin" and "cupcake". 278 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:32,416 I mean-- I mean, sure they-- they know each other's... 279 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,018 favorite sweater colors. 280 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,219 Sure-- sure they know what-- 281 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,921 what cartoon characters they-- 282 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,256 they'd most like to be friends with. 283 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,326 But-- but they don't even know where they're gonna live. 284 00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:45,496 I mean, I-- I really think that-- that I should say something. 285 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,099 Dick, it's not your place to say anything. 286 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:49,000 You're right. 287 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:49,733 [ Sighs ] 288 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,335 Let's let their pal 289 00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,004 Huckleberry Hound handle this. 290 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,679 When he shakes his head, his hair bounces 291 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,080 almost as good as mine. 292 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,083 Oh, he does sound perfect, Stephanie. 293 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,852 -Oh, Joanna? -Hm? 294 00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,921 I don't think you've met everyone. 295 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,190 Joanna, these are my best and dearest friends 296 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,324 -in the whole wide world. -[ Chuckles ] 297 00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:17,895 Francine, Blythe, Alicia, Midge, 298 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,564 Lauren, Muffy with a 'y' and Muffie with an 'ie.' 299 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:21,632 Hi. 300 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,901 Well, enough unimportant stuff. Let's open the gifts. 301 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,972 [ Crystal glasses ringing ] 302 00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:34,312 All right, all right, enough of the talent. 303 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,379 On with the toasts. 304 00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,114 Loudon. 305 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,416 Michael, 306 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,184 [ Clears throat ] 307 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,021 marriage is like an airplane flight. 308 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,424 Sometimes you ride in first class, 309 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,960 sometimes you have to sit in coach. 310 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,296 Sometimes the ride is smooth, 311 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,099 other times you-- you hit turbulence. 312 00:13:56,769 --> 00:14:00,338 Sometimes you get a-- a four-course meal, 313 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,006 other times you have to settle for nuts. 314 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:04,842 Sometimes-- 315 00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:07,444 All right, Loudon. How long is this flight? 316 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,882 I guess I-- I won't get into the part 317 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,350 a--about the lost luggage. 318 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,653 What-- what I'm trying to say is that marriage isn't easy, 319 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,822 but I-- I'm sure that-- that you two will, uh-- 320 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,394 An--an--anyway, good-- good luck. 321 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,328 Hear, hear! 322 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,766 We wish you very well in your marriage 323 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,935 and even though we were once bitter rivals, 324 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:33,504 we say this from the bottom of our heart, 325 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,939 dibs if you divorce her. 326 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,709 This one's from Francine. 327 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:39,410 Ooh. 328 00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,145 [ Sighs ] 329 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,781 It's another Faberg� egg. 330 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,016 [ Sobs ] 331 00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,718 It's okay, but next time check with 332 00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:48,719 the other girls first. 333 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,155 I don't believe this. 334 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:53,991 A designer wardrobe, a-- a trip to Monte Carlo, 335 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,626 and Faberg� eggs? 336 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,727 Don't worry. 337 00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:59,230 It looks like there are some big ones coming up. 338 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,467 I wanna thank you all for being here. 339 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,370 Gathered in this room are the men 340 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,372 who mean the most to me in my life. 341 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,308 M--more or less. 342 00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:15,746 To one of the men who I respect most in the world, 343 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:16,613 the Dickster. 344 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,555 A-- a boffo best man. 345 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:26,324 Uh, to George, 346 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,559 who I think is gonna make one heck of a terrif usher. 347 00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,295 Great. More pressure. 348 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:36,500 To Mr. V, my future padre-in-law. 349 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,902 I wanna thank you for... 350 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:40,504 creating Stephanie. 351 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,341 LARRY: Here's a little trick 352 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,642 for gettin' more bubbles in the champagne. 353 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,144 [ Burbling ] 354 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:50,381 You know, 355 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,950 when I was a little girl, 356 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,118 I had an image of what 357 00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:55,686 my second husband would be like. 358 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,425 Michael Harris comes closer to filling that bill 359 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,394 than anyone I've ever met. 360 00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:04,761 Hear, hear! 361 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,435 Oh boy, Dick. You look primo. 362 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,569 [ Giggles ] 363 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:13,804 In that outfit, 364 00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:15,939 you could double as best man and a waiter at the reception. 365 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,111 Boy, this has been great. 366 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,078 Steph and I have been 367 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,213 the center of attention all week. 368 00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:23,080 [ Giggles ] 369 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,581 People have showered us with gifts, 370 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,450 we saw our names printed a thousand times 371 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,886 in Bodini Bold. [ Giggles ] 372 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,955 This wedding was the best idea Stephanie and I ever had. 373 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,290 With all this flurry of fun, there's-- 374 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,525 there's only one thing I forgot. 375 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,193 Your blessing. 376 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,164 My-- my-- my blessing? 377 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:40,864 Well, 378 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,367 my dad's gone, 379 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,801 and my mom's flitting around Europe 380 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:45,936 with some guy named Paolo. 381 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,105 You're sort of like... 382 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,174 the father I never had. 383 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,344 Go ahead, Dick. 384 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,982 O--Okay, um... 385 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,793 Um, ble-- ble-- bless you. 386 00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:15,199 Come on, Dick. I didn't sneeze. 387 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,569 I-- I just want you to be totally honest 388 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:19,403 and say that you approve 389 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,571 and think I'm doing the right thing. 390 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,340 Michael, to, uh-- 391 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,311 to-- to tell you the-- the complete truth, I uh, 392 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,413 I-- I don't feel... 393 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:32,849 right a--about this-- about this wedding. 394 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,719 Well, obviously you're new to this blessing business. 395 00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:36,787 Why don't you take another run at it? 396 00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,591 Michael, I-- I-- I wish I felt-- 397 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,160 I wish I felt differently, but I-- 398 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,796 I have serious doubts about whether your-- 399 00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:50,468 your marrying Stephanie is, uh, well, a good idea. 400 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,168 What? 401 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,773 Honey, they want us for wedding photos. 402 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,542 Dick's trying to 86 the marriage! 403 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,112 Dick! 404 00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,213 Joanna! 405 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,615 The maid of honor 406 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,717 shouldn't abandon the bride right before the wedding. 407 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,851 I said I was thirsty. 408 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:10,187 Michael! 409 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,492 The bride and groom are not supposed to see each other! 410 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,927 Steph, Dick's trying to put the kibosh on our nuptials! 411 00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:19,396 What? 412 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,399 Look, whether-- whether you get married or not 413 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,601 is-- is your decision. 414 00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,203 I-- I just think you should-- [ Sighs ] 415 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,372 You should know that marriage is-- is hard. 416 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,142 It-- it-- it's responsibilities. 417 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,109 It's-- 418 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,043 [ Sighs ] 419 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:34,077 it-- it's daily. 420 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:36,580 It's not all-- 421 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,848 not all rainbows and-- 422 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,483 and fireworks. 423 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,185 Is too. 424 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,554 Steph's right. 425 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,856 The only bumps in this marriage will be of the goose variety! 426 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,362 Look, mar-- uh, marriage can be terrific, 427 00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:53,664 but, I mean, if you two are simply 428 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:54,632 looking for something 429 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,535 to get you out of the dating blahs, 430 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,537 I mean, this-- this isn't the answer. 431 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,305 But I love Michael 432 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,340 and he loves me. Isn't that enough? 433 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:04,408 Dick, it should be, 434 00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:06,510 especially with 15 minutes to go until the wedding. 435 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,080 Dick you realize if Steph and I don't get married, 436 00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:11,048 we'll have to break up. 437 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,817 Oh, Michael! Not again! 438 00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:14,685 Well, I'm sorry, Steph, 439 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,919 but there's no other choice for us! 440 00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:16,820 [ Stephanie sobs ] 441 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,255 Dick says we shouldn't get married and-- 442 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,723 we don't have any fun dating anymore, 443 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,024 so we have to break up! 444 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,159 [ Sobbing ] 445 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,062 But, Michael, I wanted to be with you forever! 446 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,130 Oh, me too, Steph! [ Sobbing ] 447 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,232 I don't wanna live without you! 448 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,603 Well, maybe we could jump off Lover's Leap together! 449 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,805 I'm sure we can get Dick's blessing for that! 450 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:35,839 [ Sobs ] 451 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,178 You're right, Dick. 452 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:43,113 This is much better than them getting married. 453 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:48,185 All-- all-- all right, I'll-- I'll give you my blessing. 454 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,486 You-- you mean it? 455 00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:53,290 Well, if the wedding is already paid for. 456 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,061 If being apart causes you this-- this much pain, 457 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:02,165 then-- then there's no way your-- your marriage can be any worse. 458 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,035 Oh, Dick! That's beautiful! 459 00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:06,103 Oh, Dick! 460 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,037 [ Sobs ] 461 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,508 Oh, no, I triggered one of those again. 462 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:14,345 Come on, Steph, 463 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,347 let's go walk down that aisle! 464 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,214 Michael! 465 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,117 You didn't see me, did you? 466 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,253 No, Steph, my eyes were too full of tears. 467 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:23,654 You were nothing but a cute blur. 468 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:24,388 Oh, phew. 469 00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:28,325 [ Organ music ] 470 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:33,364 Hey, Dick. 471 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,699 Everyone's in a seat and nobody's hurt. 472 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,069 Way-- way to ush, George. 473 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:44,107 [ String music: "Here Comes the Bride" ] 474 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:06,863 Dearly beloved, 475 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,065 we are gathered here today 476 00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:11,067 to witness the marriage 477 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,570 of Stephanie Vanderkellen and Michael Harris. 478 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,607 -PRIEST: To surround them with... -Uh-oh. 479 00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,375 ...our prayers and to ask God's blessing upon them... 480 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,576 What is it, Steph? 481 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:20,678 Is it just me or... 482 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:25,215 did the fun peak, right before "Dearly beloved"? 483 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,384 Well, I'm definitely sensing a dip in the spark index. 484 00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:30,721 Let's not panic. Let's give it a second. 485 00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,723 PRIEST: --their solemn vows to each other. 486 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:36,159 No, it's definitely still plummeting! 487 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,461 So, Stephanie and Michael, 488 00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,931 as you face the future together-- 489 00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:41,832 You better hold it. 490 00:21:44,903 --> 00:21:47,270 Michael, I don't understand. 491 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,807 All the planning for the wedding was fun. 492 00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:51,542 But now all we're faced with is... 493 00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:52,909 a big fat marriage. 494 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:56,380 You're right, Steph, and if this trend continues, 495 00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:58,281 think of how it will be in another 20 or 30 years. 496 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,550 It'll be just like Dick said. 497 00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:02,018 It won't be all rainbows and fireworks. 498 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,119 Ew! 499 00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:08,425 What's, um-- what's going on? 500 00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:09,460 We're thinking you were right, Dick. 501 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:10,728 We shouldn't get married. 502 00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:12,730 What? 503 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,632 Well, after the walk down the aisle, 504 00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,000 the rest was anti-climactic. 505 00:22:17,035 --> 00:22:18,702 I mean, everyone had seen me in the dress. 506 00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:21,572 What's going on? 507 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,908 Excuse me. Uh, can I have everybody's attention? 508 00:22:24,943 --> 00:22:25,843 [ Chuckles ] 509 00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:26,744 Uh, 510 00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:27,878 [ Giggles ] 511 00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:28,479 we, uh-- 512 00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,647 we were going to get married, 513 00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:32,182 but Dick talked us out of it. 514 00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:33,517 [ Gasps ] 515 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:36,653 Which one is Dick? 516 00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:44,728 [ Clears throat ] That, um-- 517 00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:46,196 that would-- that would-- that would be-- 518 00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:47,163 that would be me. 519 00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,834 Oh, good. She's back in the dating pool. 520 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,271 Does this mean you're going to break up? 521 00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:57,240 Are we, Michael? 522 00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:59,276 No, Steph, I've got it all figured out. 523 00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:01,044 We'll just stay engaged forever. 524 00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:03,514 We'll be in a state of perpetual wedding planning. 525 00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,783 That way the spark will never die. 526 00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:06,450 Ooh! 527 00:23:07,453 --> 00:23:10,888 Then, we can just go on dating and dating! 528 00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:12,389 Loudon, what did you do? 529 00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:14,124 I didn't spend a bazillion dollars 530 00:23:14,159 --> 00:23:17,561 to have my daughter and Michael "go together." 531 00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:21,331 Come on, Steph, let's make it official. 532 00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:25,636 Stephanie, will you marry me, sometime in the unspecified, 533 00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:26,837 distant future? 534 00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:30,006 Oh, Michael, of course I will! 535 00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:31,675 Ladies and gentlemen, 536 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:32,776 we're engaged! 537 00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:15,385 Meow. 47177

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