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1
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,719
So everything in this inn
is exactly the way it was
2
00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:56,421
in the 18th century?
3
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:57,189
That's right.
4
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,325
They had Anso Nylon carpet
back then?
5
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:03,061
Well, uh, yeah.
6
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,896
Those were the-- the more
advanced looms.
7
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,068
Oh, you two really seem
to have a great life here.
8
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,536
This place is perfect.
9
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,637
Well, almost.
10
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:15,039
Like, I've always wanted a--
a piano over in here.
11
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,075
People could come in
and gather around.
12
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,511
And stare, because no one here
knows how to play?
13
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,313
Well, honey,
14
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,747
with all those people
standing and staring,
15
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,782
there'd be a lot of pressure
on one of us to learn.
16
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:25,484
[ Chuckles ]
17
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,719
Even without the piano,
18
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,088
this is the best place
we have ever stayed.
19
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,090
Oh, we've got one more stop left
on the tour.
20
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:32,991
Dick's study.
21
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,892
Yeah, this is where
the magic happens.
22
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:35,627
[ Chuckles ]
23
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,362
And he writes books in here too.
24
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,463
[ Chuckles ]
25
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,802
Hi. I'm-- Oh.
26
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:56,848
Finally.
27
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,218
Hi, I'm Larry.
28
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,286
This is my brother Darryl,
29
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:02,854
and this is my other
brother Darryl.
30
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,055
Hi, guys.
[ Clears throat ]
31
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,258
Fellas, this is Leah
and Kerry Myers.
32
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,992
We were just giving them
a tour of the inn.
33
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:08,726
Oh.
34
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,028
Could we hook up
with you now,
35
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:10,895
or do we have to wait
36
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,230
for the rest of the group
to come by?
37
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,701
A-- Actually, the--
the tour is over.
38
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:17,636
Good.
39
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,037
'Cause we wanted to throw
something at ya
40
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:19,971
and see if it sticks.
41
00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:20,672
[ Gasps ]
42
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,777
It's-- it's all right. It's--
it's just a figure of speech.
43
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,513
Ri-- right, guys?
44
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,816
Yeah. Sorry to disappoint.
45
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,820
Things haven't been going
so well at the caf�.
46
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,289
We need your opinion.
47
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,122
About what?
48
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,057
Used food.
49
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:42,427
How do you feel about it?
50
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:44,629
Well, that-- that depends.
51
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,465
Wh-- what-- what are you
gonna do with it?
52
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,166
Serve it.
53
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,070
See, we've noticed
54
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,005
that we've been gettin'
a lot of our food back
55
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,474
with just a couple of bites
taken out of it.
56
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,976
We figured if we priced it
at a small discount,
57
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,583
Slightly Irregular Hamburger
could become quite popular.
58
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,588
Darryl worked out the figures,
and it seems
59
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,356
we could get three to five times
our return
60
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:12,557
on a single piece of meat.
61
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,027
[ Clears throat ]
Guys, could--
62
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,295
could we talk about this later?
63
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,430
Sure.
64
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,398
How 'bout you guys come over
and join us for supper?
65
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,168
Be the first to sample
our new idea.
66
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:27,038
Oh. Well, actually, the second.
67
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,908
Uh, guys, this--
this sounds like
68
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,245
something we should discuss
ov-- over the phone.
69
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:33,978
Yeah.
70
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:34,312
Okay.
71
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,148
Darryl, let's get to work
on a new slogan.
72
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,450
How's this?
73
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,551
Clean the plate...
74
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:40,985
of someone who didn't.
75
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:52,997
Friends of yours?
76
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,567
Well, let's--
let's put it this way.
77
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,736
They-- they live
in the neighborhood and as--
78
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:58,803
as innkeepers...
79
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,038
it wouldn't be right to--
to lock the front door.
80
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:01,740
[ Chuckling ]
81
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:04,976
Listen, why don't you guys
join us for dinner tonight?
82
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,177
We're gonna have baked halibut.
83
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:08,313
Well, we were gonna check out
the scenery.
84
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,515
Well, why don't you have
dinner with us and, uh,
85
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:14,118
look at these?
86
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:14,952
[ Chuckles ]
87
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,388
Okay, we will.
88
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,389
Great!
89
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,956
I think you're really gonna
enjoy the fish.
90
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,992
Joanna and I hardly touched it
last night.
91
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,441
Okay, two grapefruit halves.
92
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,743
Uh, but I ordered the
jumbo stack of pancakes.
93
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:40,612
Trust me.
94
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,454
Morning, guys!
95
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,623
-Morning, George.
-Morning, George.
96
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,592
Boy, if we had a dog,
I'd think he was dead.
97
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,796
We don't, do we?
98
00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,831
No. Something worse.
99
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,200
It's the Myers.
100
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,167
Are they dead?
101
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,638
No. No, George.
102
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:09,607
The Myers are
checking out today,
and we're gonna miss them.
103
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,242
Oh, darn.
104
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:12,877
They're leaving already?
105
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,079
Gee, they're probably
the nicest couple
106
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,048
I've ever met here.
107
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,016
Not counting you two,
of course.
108
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,018
But you don't really count,
'cause you live here.
109
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,956
Of course, it did take me
a while to warm up to you two.
110
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:25,923
Especially you, Dick.
111
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,294
First couple of weeks,
I thought you were a real--
112
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:30,995
George.
113
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,967
Kerry and Leah are just
so much fun to be with.
114
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,201
They're the only couple
in history
115
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,671
who have ever gotten Dick
to play charades.
116
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,707
-Really? Dick, charades?
-[ Joanna laughs ]
117
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:46,143
Well, once I got the hang of it,
I was-- I was pretty unbeatable.
118
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,680
They're just two of the most
likeable people I've ever met.
119
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,149
Yeah, they were
a pretty nice couple.
120
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,720
Stephanie,
you liked some guests?
121
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,222
Uh-huh.
They were real sweet.
122
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,291
I only had to tell them once
and from then on,
123
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:01,493
they did all their own chores.
124
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:07,965
Try not to let Kerry and Leah
see you like this.
125
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:12,270
I mean, I'm sure they're feeling
bad enough themselves.
126
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,805
Good morning!
127
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,974
I guess they don't like you
anywhere as near as much
128
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:17,842
as you like them.
129
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,913
You're never gonna believe
what we just did.
130
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,515
I can't believe
what we just did.
131
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,248
What?
132
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:24,949
Wait, wait.
133
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:26,984
[ Clears throat ]
134
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,521
-How many words?
-Oh!
135
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,154
-Ah!
-[ Joanna laughs ]
136
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,355
JOANNA: Okay, good.
137
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,957
-JOANNA: Okay. Four words.
- [ Clears throat ]
138
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,158
First word.
139
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:35,693
Uh, "you".
140
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,262
Gee, Dick, you are good.
141
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:39,997
JOANNA: Second word.
142
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:43,802
You bought something. Uh...
143
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,771
You-- you bought a house.
144
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,406
They-- they bought a house.
145
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:49,674
That's terrific. Where?
146
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:51,342
In the kitchen!
147
00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:52,243
LEAH: No.
148
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,446
You bought a house
in-- in the kitchen.
149
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,047
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh. Down the block?
150
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,081
[ Gasps ]
151
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:58,750
You bought that old Victorian
down the block?
152
00:06:58,785 --> 00:06:59,918
-[ Chuckles ]
-That's great!
153
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,986
-We're gonna be neighbors!
-Wait, wait. There's more.
154
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:02,620
Uh...
155
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,155
Uh, y-- you.
156
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:06,691
Uh...
157
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,728
You're turning.
You're turning what?
158
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:11,463
The house!
159
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:12,464
You're turning the house!
160
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:16,701
Sorry.
161
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,604
O-- Okay, okay.
162
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,039
You're-- you're turning
the house...
163
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:22,607
In.
164
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:24,108
You're turning the house in?
165
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,911
You're-- you're turning
the house into an inn!
166
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:27,779
-Yes!
-Yeah!
167
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,347
They're turning the house
into an inn!
168
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,253
Right-- right down our block.
169
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,399
Looks, uh, much pretty deserted.
170
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,166
[ Chuckles ]
171
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,067
Dick, stop gloating.
172
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,970
We came over here
to wish them well.
173
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,806
Right. We-- we-- we do like
these people,
174
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,273
and we know how hard it is to--
175
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,576
to get an inn
off the ground and...
176
00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,878
these people need our support.
177
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,278
[ Laughing ]
They call this a lobby?
178
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:04,849
Dick! Joanna!
179
00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:06,384
Welcome to the Loon Inn.
180
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,854
So what do you think
now that it's all done?
181
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,689
Well, I just can't believe
you got all this done
182
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,189
in one month.
183
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:16,460
Gorgeous bay window,
lovely wall paper,
184
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,830
and beautiful hardwood floors.
185
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:21,365
My piano.
186
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,169
Honey, why don't you give Kerry
the gift we brought them?
187
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,007
That's my piano.
188
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,642
Dick.
189
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,612
Uh, right. Uh, con--
congratulations.
190
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,079
Oh!
191
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:36,848
It's supposed to be
192
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:39,584
the hardest jigsaw puzzle
in the world.
193
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,385
3000 pieces, all black.
194
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,119
[ Chuckles ]
195
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,223
Yeah, we, uh--
196
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,092
we woulda gone crazy
the first couple months,
197
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:50,227
uh, you know, waiting for people
to check in
198
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,395
if it hadn't been for that baby.
199
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,096
-Yeah.
-[ Chuckles ]
200
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:54,899
[ Clears throat ]
201
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,537
But then-- then maybe,
you know,
202
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:02,807
you won't-- you won't
have that-- that kind of time.
203
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,542
Sorry I wasn't here
to greet you.
204
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,444
Can you believe this?
205
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,446
Hey, did you see our review
in The Boston Globe ?
206
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,314
No.
207
00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:12,550
Apparently we were the only ones
in the free world who didn't.
208
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,053
You won't believe this, Dick,
209
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,754
but we called them up
and their travel editor
210
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,622
came running right over.
211
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,156
[ Chuckles ]
212
00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,859
Say, I wanted to ask you,
213
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,928
how do you handle
your waiting list?
214
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,633
Pret-- pretty--
pretty much like this.
215
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,437
Oh! Oh! Dick, Joanna,
this is Susan, our maid.
216
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,672
- Oh, hi. -JOANNA: Hi.
217
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:35,974
[ Phone rings ]
218
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:36,975
Oh, boy.
219
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,110
-It just never stops, does it?
-[ Chuckles ]
220
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,914
Did you get everyone's kids
to sleep?
221
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:46,017
Oh, one and a half fairy tales,
and they were out like a light.
222
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,652
Sounds like you like kids.
223
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,220
Oh, yes, I love them.
224
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,223
You-- you might even like
guests too.
225
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,893
I'm a people person.
More wine?
226
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,364
I think when God was handing out
hired help, he said,
227
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,133
"Watch what I do
to the Loudons."
228
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:06,504
Okay, everybody,
you know what time it is!
229
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,539
Time for something terrific,
I'll bet.
230
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:08,906
Yeah.
231
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:14,211
Gray skies are gonna clear up Put on a happy face
232
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,479
Everybody!
233
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:20,018
Slap on a smile and cheer up Put on a happy face
234
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,452
Dick, Joanna, get over here!
235
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:24,922
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy
236
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,424
It's not your style
237
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,227
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
238
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,630
You decided to smile
239
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,330
Take it, Dick!
240
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,105
So put on a happy face.
241
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,148
[ Fake voice ]
242
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,216
Uh, is, uh, is-- is this the,
uh, the Loon Inn?
243
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,353
Do, uh-- do, uh-- do you have--
do you have a room for tonight?
244
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,424
I-- I see. How-- How s--
How soon would--
245
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:01,859
how soon would
one be available?
246
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,528
Oh, I-- I don't know--
247
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,397
I don't know if I--
I can wait that long.
248
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,599
I-- I-- I am
an elderly gentleman.
249
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,269
[ Clears throat ]
Bye. Bye, sonny.
250
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,907
Dick, you forgot to ask
if they have
251
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,241
Prince Albert in a can.
252
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:17,909
[ Sighs ]
253
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,078
Booked through
the end of the year.
254
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,080
Now do you believe me?
We're goners.
255
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,347
Honey, don't you think
you're making
256
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:25,282
a little too much out of this?
257
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:28,186
Oh, I don't know.
They open, we close.
258
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,987
Maybe you're right, it's--
it's no big deal.
259
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,092
Good morning, everybody!
260
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,093
Good morning?
261
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,128
Stephanie,
it's almost 11 o'clock.
262
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,096
Eleven?
263
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,865
Oh, no. I wanted to be
in the stores by 10.
264
00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:45,603
Stephanie, are--
are you ever planning to--
265
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,773
to dust and vacuum again
during your stay here?
266
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,375
Well, what on earth for, Dick?
267
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:52,810
I mean, nobody's here.
268
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:54,478
Nobody's here, right?
269
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,848
Nobody called ahead
for reservations?
270
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,648
Well, no.
271
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,183
Darn.
[ Sighs ]
272
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:03,020
Uh, be-- be-- before you go.
273
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,088
Um...
274
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:08,126
if we had some guests and--
and they-- and they had kids,
275
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:13,430
would-- would you consider
babysitting for them?
276
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,732
I'd burn my hair first.
277
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:18,502
[ Clears throat ]
278
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,271
Well, that might
entertain the kids.
279
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,909
Oh, good. They're here.
280
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,313
Hi, I'm Larry.
281
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:30,414
This is my brother Darryl
282
00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:31,949
and this is my other
brother Darryl.
283
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,918
We got something
to discuss with you.
284
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,253
Well, sure, guys.
285
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,888
We'll break it to you gently.
286
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,389
You're ruining our lives.
287
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,460
Well, all--
all I can say is oops.
288
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,900
All these years,
we've been rackin' our brains
289
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,969
trying to come up with
some promotional ideas,
290
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:52,837
i.e.,
291
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:54,705
used food,
292
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:56,573
organ meat of the week,
293
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:01,045
and the disappointing
gizzard on a stick.
294
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:04,581
But now we realize
295
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,050
all the ingenuity
in the world
296
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:09,187
won't help us overcome
our biggest liability.
297
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:09,753
Our location.
298
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,757
Smack dab right next
to the black hole of commerce.
299
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,662
We'd like to ask you a favor.
300
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:19,797
And feel free to say no.
301
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,266
Would you consider
shifting your inn
302
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,701
back a few feet
303
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:26,137
so that there's a more
direct view of our place
304
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:26,838
from the Loon?
305
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,107
No.
306
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:31,742
Darn.
307
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:33,544
Looks like we built
308
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,246
our forearms up
for nothin'.
309
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,123
Oh, uh-- uh, George, sit--
sit down.
310
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,024
We're gonna have a meeting.
311
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:47,825
[ Clears throat ]
312
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:48,525
Uh-oh.
313
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,028
This is it, isn't it?
314
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,930
This is just the way it happened
315
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,032
the last time the inn
went under.
316
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:56,533
Dick,
317
00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:58,502
if this is a meeting
318
00:13:58,537 --> 00:13:59,971
to get more people
to come here
319
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,438
so I have to do
work again,
320
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,307
I don't really think
I wanna be any part of it.
321
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:09,881
[ Sighs ]
322
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:14,218
Now, it's--
323
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,556
it's no secret that the business
hasn't exactly been booming--
324
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:20,892
Is that a car?
325
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:22,693
It is!
326
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,030
They're pulling in.
327
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,000
They've stopped.
328
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,403
They're looking at a map.
329
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:37,275
They're pointing to the Loon.
330
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,178
They're driving away.
331
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,513
I can't watch anymore.
332
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,717
O--okay, we-- we've played dead
long enough.
333
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,352
And we've gotta come up
with a plan that'll--
334
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,054
that'll put us back on top.
335
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:52,489
Dick, while you guys think,
is it okay if I start
336
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,191
boarding up a few windows?
337
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,661
George, sit down.
338
00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:58,896
What's the use?
339
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,765
The old owners tried
a last-ditch effort
340
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,467
to save this place too.
341
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:04,936
Wait a minute.
342
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:08,505
Are you saying the Stratford
closed before?
343
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,174
And it might close again?
344
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,344
And if that happened,
345
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,046
I don't suppose you'd
keep on paying me.
346
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:21,218
Well, come on, people.
What are we gonna do?
347
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,323
Okay, the first thing to do
348
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,425
is to get this place in tip-top
working order,
349
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,261
and since I wanna keep
the staff I have,
350
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,264
I think each one of us
should come up with a--
351
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,933
a way that we could be better
at our-- at our jobs.
352
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,134
All right.
[ Clears throat ]
353
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:37,969
Uh, Joanna.
354
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:38,902
Okay.
355
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,404
I've been thinking we could
put together
356
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,440
a whole pampering
weekend package.
357
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,841
Stephanie could even
serve people
358
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:44,842
breakfast in bed.
359
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:47,878
George?
360
00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:51,648
Well, I-- I might be able to
make the basement
361
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,084
into a game room
362
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,586
if Stephanie could help me
clean out, uh,
363
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,455
some of the junk and cobwebs.
364
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,392
Great, George.
365
00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:02,293
Stephanie?
366
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,064
Uh, George, going under,
was it really that bad?
367
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,701
Hi, hi, Stratford Inn--mates.
368
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,404
[ Kisses ]
Still doing solitary?
369
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,807
Michael, we're in the middle
of a meeting.
370
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,509
Oh, you mean about this place
going belly-up?
371
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:21,312
Well, uh, listen,
372
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,446
I've been giving the problem
some thought
373
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,882
and I think I've come up with
a solution.
374
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:25,749
Picture the neon:
375
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,019
Dick's Rendezvous Inn.
376
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:30,921
Heart-shaped beds,
377
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,156
a few well-placed mirrors,
[ Snaps fingers ]
378
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:33,357
you've got a whole new
ambiance here.
379
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:37,861
No!
380
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,296
Trust me, the only way
to fight quality
381
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,097
is with sleaze.
382
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:43,100
Okay.
383
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,504
I've got one more idea
in the winner's circle.
384
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,639
Start rumors about
the other place, huh?
385
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,007
Maybe that poltergeist thing?
386
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:52,510
Or no, wait.
387
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,745
The ghost from Amityville .
388
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,314
Give it up, Michael.
389
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,016
Well, Joanna, that spook
had to go somewhere.
390
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,217
Who's to say it's not
right down the street?
391
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,788
It could be.
Everybody else is.
392
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:26,243
[ Cheerful piano tune ]
393
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,912
George, I didn't know
you played?
394
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,914
Well, I don't really.
That's all I know.
395
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:34,851
Just-- just the one song?
396
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,420
No, just the one intro.
397
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,057
See, last year at the
Beaver Pancake Fest,
398
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:43,494
I won a one-hour piano lesson
from Mrs. Klinkerman.
399
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,197
At, uh, Klinkerman's Piano
and Tractor Emporium.
400
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,066
But, you know, Dick,
401
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:53,670
uh, it takes more than an hour
to learn how to play the piano.
402
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,073
So that was as far
as she could teach me
403
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:57,608
before the timer dinged.
404
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,677
I hate this stupid dress.
405
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:02,980
It makes me look like a maid.
406
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,650
And the people who just
pulled into the driveway
407
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,452
are probably gonna see me in it.
408
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,687
George, go look and make sure
they're getting out of the car!
409
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:11,622
No way.
410
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,024
I've been burned
too many times.
411
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:16,860
A-- A-- All right, this is it.
412
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:19,430
It's the beginning of the new
and improved Stratford Inn.
413
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,599
All right, every-- everybody.
Line-- Line up.
414
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:22,299
[ Clears throat ]
415
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:27,471
[ Birds chirping ]
416
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,107
Welcome to the Stratford.
417
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:33,577
I actually come from
a very wealthy background.
418
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:36,347
Stephanie.
419
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:38,482
Well, you made me wear this.
420
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,550
[ Chuckles ]
421
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,452
Hi. I'm-- I'm Dick--
I'm Dick Loudon,
422
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,854
and this is my fun-loving wife,
Joanna--
423
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:44,721
[ Chuckles ]
424
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,191
--and everybody's pal, George.
425
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:51,328
I'm-- I'm sure we're gonna be
real, real good friends.
426
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,029
[ Chuckles ]
427
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,431
Hors d'oeuvres?
428
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,166
No, thanks.
429
00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:58,369
My daddy could buy
and sell you.
430
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:05,676
Stephanie, would you please
go and get...
431
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:08,745
Room Four ready?
432
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,148
Um, uh, actually,
I think we'd like to wait
433
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,082
just a little while.
434
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:13,016
Why?
435
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:16,187
Well, see, we're on standby
at the Loon.
436
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,389
I humiliated myself for nothing!
437
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:20,357
Look, honey.
438
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,359
You can see the other inn
from the porch.
439
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,062
It's almost like we're there.
440
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:29,766
Yeah, it's, uh, quite a--
a photo opportunity
441
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,935
right out there along--
along that railing.
442
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,070
[ Phone rings ]
443
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,673
Oh, if that's for you, could--
could you keep it short,
444
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,774
in case the Loon's trying
to get through to us?
445
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,109
[ Phone ringing ]
446
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,446
He--hello, uh, Strat--
Stratford Inn.
447
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:46,550
Well, you're-- you're in luck.
It-- it's the Loon.
448
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:47,251
Be nice.
449
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,989
O--o--okay, I'll tell 'em.
450
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,060
Uh, it-- it doesn't--
it doesn't look good.
451
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:57,428
Oh.
452
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,097
Now what are we supposed to do?
453
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:05,769
Well, you know, I know this
may be kinda out of left field,
454
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:06,470
but, uh,
455
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,973
I mean, you know,
you could stay here.
456
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:12,610
What do you think?
457
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,245
[ Sighs ]
458
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,480
Well, it's either this place
or sleeping in the car.
459
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,717
Well, we don't have to
decide now.
460
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:20,851
No.
461
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,354
I mean, there's no chance
you're gonna fill up, right?
462
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,322
Naw.
463
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:28,325
Uh, but in--
but in five minutes,
464
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:31,061
uh, everybody's pal George
will throw you out.
465
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:34,998
Okay.
466
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,235
Okay, Room 4.
467
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,703
Top of the stairs to your right,
468
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,239
and George will bring up
your luggage.
469
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,675
Honey, it won't be that bad.
470
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,010
I hate this place.
I feel like I'm in hell!
471
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,318
Well, our first guests
472
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,186
of the new, improved Stratford.
473
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,589
Yes, what I've always wanted,
474
00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:01,792
a hotel full of bitter
Loon rejects.
475
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:05,962
Someone's coming up the walk.
476
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,063
-[ Gasps ]
-Okay, everybody.
477
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,365
-Let's get into our positions--
-I'm not lining up
478
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:09,667
until I know they're staying.
479
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:11,802
[ Clears throat ]
480
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:12,836
-Kerry, Leah!
-Hi.
481
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:16,006
Oh, good, people with servants
of their own.
482
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:18,875
LEAH: Mind if we sit down
for a while?
483
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,644
We just wanted to go someplace
for a few minutes
484
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,645
of peace and quiet.
485
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,181
Funny-- funny our place
486
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,449
would've popped
into your mind.
487
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:27,951
Boy, you guys have it made.
488
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,422
This is the kind of inn
we wanted to build.
489
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:35,693
How do you create such a quiet,
relaxed atmosphere?
490
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:36,993
Hey, we're--
we're not giving away
491
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:37,761
all our secrets.
492
00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:40,831
[ Clears throat ]
493
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:42,032
If we wanted the rat race,
494
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:43,634
we would've stayed in the city.
495
00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:45,902
This word of mouth
is killing us.
496
00:21:45,938 --> 00:21:48,238
Tell you the truth, Dick,
we're thinking of selling.
497
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:52,909
You, uh-- you-- you are?
498
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:55,078
Someone's already
made you an offer.
499
00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:56,046
The bizarre thing is,
500
00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:58,014
they don't even wanna
use it as an inn.
501
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,115
They just wanna live there.
502
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:05,589
Do you think we should sell?
503
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,693
We're probably not
the people to ask.
504
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,696
Oh, come on.
Talk us out of it.
505
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:15,232
Don't-- don't sell.
506
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:24,975
Nice try, Dick,
but we really have to.
507
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,176
We're gonna miss you guys.
508
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:30,213
All I can say is, um, ditto.
509
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,917
Well, thanks for all your help.
510
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,287
I guess we'd better get back
and start...
511
00:22:37,322 --> 00:22:39,823
cancelling
all those reservations.
512
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:42,393
Oh! We could refer them all
to the Stratford.
513
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:45,128
Oh, no. Couldn't do that
to Dick and Joanna.
514
00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:46,162
-[ Chuckles ]
-Well, it--
515
00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:51,201
you know,
it'd be a nightmare, but,
516
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,205
you know, feel--
feel free just, um, just--
517
00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:57,674
just this once, you know?
518
00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:01,311
Aw, you guys.
519
00:23:01,346 --> 00:23:02,112
Oh.
520
00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:04,515
Bye.
521
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,052
[ Sighs ]
522
00:23:10,355 --> 00:23:12,656
Well, we shut 'em down
inside of a month.
523
00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:53,730
Meow.
46189
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