All language subtitles for Newhart S02E19

- Joanna?

- What?

- I put soap
in the dryer again.

- Oh, no.

- How often
does that happen?

- I've lost count.

- Where's the Hoover?

- Wherever you left it last.

- Oh, I hate
to vacuum the dryer!

- Good evening.
- Hi.

- Are you open?
- Yes, we are.

- We'd like a room.

- We?

- I'm Cecil Breech
and this is my wife Evelyn.

- I'm Dick Loudon
and this is my wife Joanna.

- Pleased to meet you.

How much are your doubles?

- Our doubles are 45.

- That'll be fine.

- Would you like
to sign here?

- Oh, sure.
Looks like a lovely inn.

We love old inns.

- Honey, which room should
we give Mr. and Mrs. Breech?

- Uh, I was thinking
of room six

at the far, far end
of the hall.

- Perfect.

- Stephanie, you wanna show
the Breeches to their room?

- Me?

- Yes.

- Okay.

- Enjoy your stay.

- Oh, thank you.
We will.

I agree.

- Excuse me?

- Oh, nothing.

Evelyn was just saying
she likes your outfit.

- Oh, thank you.

- Dick, that man's crazy.

Do you think we're
doing the right thing

letting him stay here?

- Well, honey,
he seemed harmless.

Besides, if I close my door

to every crazy person
who came in...

we'd never see him.

- Well, you might as well
take back your gift,

because the marriage
is over!

- Great. It was
a blender, wasn't it?

- Kirk, what's the matter?

- Cindy and I
just had our first fight.

- Oh, no. What happened?

- I took her out
to dinner tonight.

A nice thing to do, right?

I mean, we're not
dating anymore,

so it's not like
I had to do it.

Anyway, we get
to the restaurant

and there's this parking
space right in front,

only there's this other guy
trying to back into it.

So I sped up
and beat him to it.

- You stole someone's
parking space?

- Maybe I'm not
making myself clear.

The space was right in
front of the restaurant.

- I don't care.
It was wrong.

- That's what Cindy said.

- Well, what did you say?

- I said, If you want me to
back out of this space, fine.

Then I put the car in reverse
and backed all the way home.

- You're crazy,
you know that?

- I'm crazy
because I love my wife

and I want her to have
the best parking space?

I can't believe this night.

It started out so great.
Now I've lost Cindy.

- You haven't lost Cindy.

- I don't know, Dick.

We said some things
to each other

I don't think
we can ever take back.

- Look, Kirk, why don't
you just go home

and tell Cindy you're sorry.

- She's not there.

She went to spend the night
with her friend, idiot Debbie.

- Well, why don't you go to
idiot Debbie's and apologize?

- This is between
Cindy and me.

I don't want other people
involved in our problems.

Besides, she took the car.

- Why don't you just go home
and get a good night's sleep

and I'm sure that things will
look better in the morning.

- Well, maybe you're right.

Anyway, no matter what,

I hope this teaches me
to control my temper.

- Oh, hi, Kirk. There's some
people over at your cafe.

- I'm not open!
Get away from there!

- What's the matter
with him?

- Oh, he's just mad that he
can't control his temper.

- How was the lodge meeting,
George?

- Great. You know how much

I always enjoy
being with the Beavers.

- We know you do.

- And tonight for the first
time in a couple of years,

the Beaver Lodge voted
to have a membership drive.

We're having a special
meeting tomorrow night.

- Good.

- How would you
like to join?

- Me?

- Yeah. I've always wanted
to bring someone in,

but I never felt I had
anyone to ask until now.

- You want me
to be a Beaver?

- Oh, I think you'll
really enjoy it, Dick.

They're a great
bunch of guys.

You know, they've been
a big part of my life.

- Yeah, I know, George,

but, see, I'm not
much of a joiner.

- Oh, gee, I thought
you'd be kind of excited.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't get me wrong.

I'm flattered, but I just don't
think, you know, it's me.

- Well, I understand.

I guess I'll go to bed now.
Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night, George.

How could you do that?

- Do what?
- Turn him down.

- Honey, I hate
things like that.

- I know, but that lodge

is one of the biggest
things in George's life.

You heard what he said.

He's never had a friend
to bring before.

He's proud of you, Dick.

- Honey, I've never
told you this before,

but there's a reason
I don't like clubs.

I think the only reason
they exist

is to keep
other people out.

- What are you
talking about?

- I think they're elitists.

- You think the Beavers
are elitists?

- Honey,
when I was in college,

there was this one
fraternity I wanted to join

and I really knocked myself
out trying to get into it,

except I didn't get in.

I found out the reason
I didn't get in

was because my dad
didn't earn enough money

and I didn't have
a nice enough car.

I'll never forget
the teasing I took.

"Oh, hey, there's goes
the fraternity reject!"

- They're just kids,
and kids can be cruel.

- What kids?
That was my father.

Honey, I swore to myself

that I will never go through
that humiliation again.

- Honey, I understand
what you're saying,

but this isn't
a snobbish fraternity.

This is a small-town lodge
with guys like George.

- Yeah, I know.

- And it would sure
make him feel good.

- Okay. I'll go tell George
I changed my mind.

- Oh, that's
my little Beaver.

- Over here we have
our trophy case.

And over here

is where we have refreshments
after the meeting.

Look out.

I want you to meet
some of the guys.

Hi, guys. I'd like to
have you meet Dick Loudon.

Dick, this is Tommy Hayes.

- Hi.
- Benny Wiggins.

- Hi.
- And Cliff Pulsifer.

- Hi.

- We were just talking
about Beaver Days.

- That's something
you'll love.

- What are Beaver Days?

- Three days of nonstop fun.

We have food, beer, games.

Hey, maybe Joanna would
like to be a Beaverette?

- Well, she certainly
has that coming to her.

- Men? Men, can we take
our seats, please?

- That's Bill Rivers,
our club president.

We'll see you, guys.

We can meet the rest
of the Beavers later.

- Call the meeting to order.

I'd like to welcome all
of you here this evening

to our special
membership night.

Nice to see a few
new faces out there.

Before we begin,
I'm gonna ask Tommy here

to read the minutes of
last night's meeting. Tommy?

- Last night's meeting

was called to order at 7:05
P.M. by President Rivers.

We decided to hold a special
membership meeting tonight.

Then we all had beer.

The meeting adjourned
at 1 A.M.

- You must have left early.

- I must have.

- Thank you, Tommy.
And now for new business.

Now, tonight is the first
night in almost two years

that we Beavers have been able
to open our club to new members.

As you know, these
vacancies have been created

due to the untimely deaths
of the Johnson brothers,

who just recently
lost their lives

in the tragic and as yet
unexplained stampede

at their dairy farm.

This meeting is dedicated
to their memory.

Now, I know a couple of you

have candidates for membership
that you'd like to introduce.

Who'd like to begin?

Go ahead, Cliff.

- I'd like to introduce my
brother-in-law Harley Estin.

He and my wife's sister
just moved up here.

They're living with us while
Harley looks for work. Harley?

- I'm Harley Estin,
Cliff's brother-in-law.

My wife and I
have just moved up here

while I look for work,

and I'd like to be a Beaver.

- Well, thank you, Harley.
Thank you, Cliff.

Now, anybody
have any trouble

with Harley here becoming
a member of the Beavers?

Welcome, Harley.

[ applause ]

Now who else has someone
they'd like to...George?

- I brought someone I think
would make a super Beaver.

He's my boss and my friend

and I'm proud to introduce him
to all of you, Dick Loudon.

- Well, as George said,
I'm Dick Loudon,

and as most of you know,

my wife and I own
the Stratford Inn.

I'm also a writer.

I worked briefly
in advertising

before I started
writing full-time,

and I, like Harley, would
like to become a Beaver.

- Well, all right.

Anybody have a problem

with Dick Loudon
becoming a Beaver?

Sorry, Dick.

- Who all was there?

Really?
How did she look?

Well, I'm not surprised.

She always ate
like a lumberjack.

Oh, hold on a minute.
Someone just came in.

Hi.
- Hi.

- I was just talking
to my mother.

- Don't let me bother you.

- Okay.

Mother, I'll have
to call you back.

- Excuse me? Have either
of you seen my wife?

- I think we can
honestly say we haven't.

- Is Mrs. Breech missing?

- Oh, it's nothing
to be alarmed about.

Evelyn's
always disappearing.

I was just a little concerned
because it's after dark.

- Right. Well, I'm sure she'll
turn up sooner or later.

- Well, as I said, it's
nothing to be concerned about,

but if you do see her,
will you give me a yell?

- Believe me,
if we see her, we'll yell.

- Oh, there you are.
Where have you been?

You're kidding.

I looked in there
and I didn't even see you.

I must be losing my mind.

- Excuse me?
- Oh, hi, Cindy.

- Hi. Um, if you two
aren't busy,

I was wondering if I could
talk to you for a second?

- Sure. What about?

- Well, I suppose you know

that Kirk and I
had a fight last night.

- Yeah.

- There was a fight
and you didn't tell me?

- Well, the reason
I came over

is because you've
both been married,

and I figured
you've got experience.

I mean, you've probably seen
this kind of thing before.

What do you do when
the person you love

has things about him
that you hate?

- Well, for one thing,
you talk to them

and you tell them
you love them

and you try to
help them to change.

- And if they don't, Reno.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I saw you pull up.
I knew you were over here.

- Well, I was talking
to Stephanie and Joanna.

- Oh.

Still mad at me?

- Yeah.

- I'm not mad at you.

- I didn't do anything.

- Right.

I brought you a present.

- Oh, Kirk.

Thank you.

- Forgive me?

- Of course I forgive you.

I just wish you wouldn't
get so angry about things.

- I promise
I won't do it again.

- Don't make promises
you can't keep.

- I promise
I won't do that either.

- Well, I'm sorry, too.

And I promise the next time
we fight, I won't run away.

You know what's great
about this?

We both made a mistake last
night, but we got past it.

We're both becoming mature,
responsible adults.

- Does this mean
we're snuggle bunnies again?

- Yeah.

- I just love it when
people kiss and make up.

- Oh, my God!
You just reminded me.

I think I'm out of makeup.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- What are you doing
home so soon?

- The meeting's over.
- Already?

- Dick, guess what?

Cindy and I
are back together again.

- Yahoo.

- What happened?

- Nothing, except
they didn't want me.

- What?

- Who didn't want you?
- George's lodge.

- You couldn't get in
the Beavers?

- You know, I think
this would be a good--

- Nobody is turned down
by the Beavers.

- Yeah, we're going.

- No one wants to even
be in the Beavers.

- Good night, everybody.

- They asked me to be in the
Beavers. I turned them down.

I can't believe
you're hugging the Beavers.

- Well, I can't
believe it either.

- Honey, I don't wanna
talk about it.

- Well, I talked to Chuck.

Did Dick tell you he
didn't get in the Beavers?

- George, we're not
gonna talk about it.

- I can't help it.
I think it's lousy, Dick.

I mean, letting Harley Estin
in and turning you down.

- Who's Harley Estin?

- Somebody's out of work
brother-in-law.

That's what I meant about
clubs. They're elitist.

Somebody always gets hurt
and it's always me.

- Dick, we're not elitists.

We don't have
any standards at all.

- Well, then how come
I'm not in?

- I don't know.

We let Benny Wiggins in
and he's done time.

- Well, there has to be
an explanation.

- Bernie Blodgett is a member
and he doesn't even bathe!

- George!

- One night
they all got drunk

and they even made Bill
Rivers' collie a member.

- Dick, do you know
why they rejected you?

- I guess I'm not
Beaver material.

I guess they only like crooks
and collies. Who cares?

- You care. You're a thinking,
feeling human being,

and people don't like you.

Don't you wanna know why?

- Well, of course
I wanna know why.

What am I supposed to do,
go down there and ask them?

- Yes. You could go down there
and demand an explanation.

- You know, I have
half a mind to do that.

- And I've got
the other half. Let's go.

- You want me to get
their attention, Dick?

- No. Let's just wait
till they notice me.

- Do you think we've
given them enough time?

- Yeah.

Guys?

Beavers?

There's no more beer!

I was only kidding.

- What's going on?

- Look, I know I'm not
supposed to be here,

but I came back

because I think you owe me
an explanation.

- Me, too,
and we're not leaving

till you give us one.

- What kind of
an explanation do you want?

- Why I'm not in the lodge.

- 'Cause everybody
voted against you.

- I know that, but why?

- Well, Dick,
if we told you that,

we'd be breaking a bylaw

that's stood
for over 75 years.

But since I've had
a few beers, what the heck?

The reason
you're not in the club

is we didn't think
you'd fit in.

- Well, what do you mean?

- Dick, the Beaver Lodge
was established

as a fraternal organization

for the enjoyment
and the enrichment

of the ordinary slob
on the street.

- Well, Dick's one of those.

- No, he's not, George.
No offense, Dick.

- Oh, none taken.

- Dick, you're a rich guy.

- No, I'm not.

- Compared to us, you are.

I mean, you own
the Stratford Inn.

You're a writer.

It sounds like you might
even have gone to college.

Just doesn't seem

that you're the plain,
ordinary kind of a guy

that the Beavers
are all about.

- Wait a minute.
You mean I was rejected

because
I'm too good for you?

- Well, wait a minute.

I've known Dick Loudon
since he came to town,

and he's not too good
for anybody.

- Thanks, George.

- In fact, he's one of
the commonest guys I know.

- George, you don't
have to do this.

- Yes, I do.
My friend Dick Loudon

is as ordinary as dirt.

Why, he wouldn't know uptown
if you drove him there.

If the Beavers really stand for
the ordinary slob on the street,

then I'd like
to have somebody tell me

what's wrong
with this one.

- Well, gee, maybe we
misjudged you, Dick.

- Look,
I didn't come over here

to have you
feel sorry for me.

- Maybe not, but we do.

- Right.
- Right.

- Now, as president,
I'm gonna call

a special mercy vote
for Dick Loudon.

Now, everybody that wants him
in the club, raise your hand.

( all cheer )

- Congratulations, Dick.

Somebody get him
a mug of beer.

- Get him one of the dead
Johnson brothers' mugs.

- George, you ready
to begin the initiation?

- You bet!

- What initiation?

- Don't move, Dick.

- You're not gonna make me
wear a hat, are you?

- No, no.

- George, what...

- Uh! Uh! There you are.
- What are you doing?

- As a new member, Dick,

you're required
to wear that tail.

- For how long?

- For one full year.

- You mean, I have
to wear this tail

to every meeting
for a year?

- No. You have to wear
that tail

every place you go
for a year.

- You'd be surprised
how fast that year flies by.

- Well, welcome,
Beaver Brother.

Got any job openings
at your inn?

- I didn't lose it.

I haven't seen it the whole
time we've been here, Evelyn.

Why don't you take
the blame for once?

Just once
is all I'm asking.

It's not my fault.

- Is that Mr. Breech?

- Yeah.
- What's he doing?

- Arguing with Evelyn.

- What about?

- What difference
does it make?

- Sure, sure, sure.

- Good morning, Mr. Breech.
- Morning.

- You checking out?
- Yes, we are.

- Excuse me. Aren't you
going to pay your bill?

- Evelyn will
take care of it.

Evelyn takes care
of everything!

- Are you gonna let him
get away without paying?

- Of course not.

I don't care
if he is crazy.

I'm going after him.

- Meow.