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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,847 Okay, it's happening. It's spontaneous. 3 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,400 This... Who saw this coming? I did not see this coming. 4 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:51,721 Okay, okay, okay. Okay, let's do it. 5 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,246 Okay. It's happening. It's totally happening. 6 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,401 Whoo! 7 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,609 What a twist. Oh, yeah. Okay. 8 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,409 This is so spontaneous. 9 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:01,680 We're having sex one minute... 10 00:01:01,704 --> 00:01:03,091 Who knows what's gonna happen next? 11 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,880 Who knows what we'll be doing in 10 minutes? 12 00:01:04,904 --> 00:01:06,808 Okay. This is crazy! 13 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,921 We're doing this on the dining room... 14 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,764 I've never had sex on a dining room chair in my whole life. 15 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,291 This is amazing. 16 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,760 I'm taking you to Boner Town, bitch. 17 00:01:12,784 --> 00:01:14,563 Don't call me "bitch!" Okay. I'm sorry. 18 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,007 I'm taking you to Boner Town, love. Okay. 19 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,562 Baby? Baby? 20 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,720 She's totally fucking looking at us. 21 00:01:23,744 --> 00:01:24,521 Hey, baby. 22 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,682 She knows what's happening. 23 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,762 She totally knows what's happening. 24 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,960 She can't see anything. She just sees shapes. 25 00:01:30,984 --> 00:01:33,684 She sees shapes fucking each other, is what she sees. She can... 26 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,569 She's fine. She just sees shapes. 27 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,641 It's like bouncing balls. 28 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,245 My bouncing balls. 29 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,890 She's fine. She's fine. You know what? 30 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,800 Let me turn her around. Let me turn her around. 31 00:01:41,824 --> 00:01:43,528 Okay. Okay. 32 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,762 Hey, sweetie. Hey, little girl. 33 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,481 Gonna turn around now. Gonna look at the wall now. 34 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:50,607 Let's go. 35 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,160 Okay. There you go. Love you, sweetie. Okay. 36 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,128 Okay! Let's do it. 37 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,560 We're back. We're back in business. 38 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,327 Okay. Okay. 39 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,722 We are back. It's happening. Okay. 40 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,642 Oh, God. She keeps turning... Turn around. 41 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,007 Just look that way. Just turn around. 42 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,127 Why is she... Okay. 43 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,611 I think it's over. 44 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:12,681 We still did that. 45 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,525 Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. We still did that. 46 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,489 Hello. 47 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,960 What are you doing in your Jumperoo? 48 00:02:18,984 --> 00:02:19,801 This never happened. 49 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,644 We're gonna finish that. We will finish that. 50 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,484 FYI, we're gonna do it in every room. 51 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,483 And this time, I'm going to ejaculate. 52 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,210 Just because we have a house and a baby 53 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,845 doesn't mean that we're old people. 54 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,325 No. Fuck old people. 55 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,004 Old people don't fuck like we just did. 56 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,650 Baby, I nearly came. 57 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,165 This is like The Brady Bunch. 58 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,402 I know! What's nice about the house 59 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,484 is that it looks like every penny we have is inside of it. 60 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,891 So, at least it looks like it. 61 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,331 It's legitimate, right? 62 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,925 Neighbors. Hey. Hi. 63 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,524 Hey. Oh. Gay couple. 64 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,329 There's a gay couple. Gay couple. 65 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,329 They seem like a nice couple. They're so happy. 66 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,885 That's awesome! Dream! 67 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,724 It is. Well, it's the second dream. 68 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,009 First dream, Taco Bell opens next door. That would be fucking dope. 69 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,684 Hi! Hi! 70 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,331 Hey. It's a fabulous neighborhood. 71 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,324 Oh, she's awake. Really? 72 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,084 She's awake. Okay. 73 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,241 Okay. Uh... Well, bye. 74 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,367 Okay. Bye. Love you. 75 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,680 Love you. Bye. Have a good day. 76 00:03:12,704 --> 00:03:13,561 Can I come? 77 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:14,721 Kidding. 78 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,280 No, we'll have a great day! We'll have a great day. Okay. Bye! 79 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:18,801 I love you! 80 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,044 Uh-oh. Mac attack. 81 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,121 Hey! 82 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,241 Hey, there he is. 83 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,367 Hey- 84 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,602 I need that Mendelson file by 4:00. 85 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:28,886 Okay, yeah. 86 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,203 And this is not your bro, this is your boss talking. 87 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,840 I'll have it to you by 3:30. How's that? 88 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,370 Mac! Okay. 89 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,441 Mac! 90 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,561 What? 91 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,971 Wait. Hold on. 92 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,606 Whoo! 93 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:41,807 Okay! 94 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,244 Oh, jeez, it's so far. 95 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,882 Hey, we gotta go work on that thing we were discussing. 96 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,002 What thing? What's going on? 97 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,163 We have to go work on that joint file. 98 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,686 Of course. The joint file. 99 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,125 You guys are doing a joint file? 100 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,400 We have a joint file together. 101 00:03:59,433 --> 00:04:01,003 Yeah. We're pretty deep into it. It's tight. 102 00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:02,769 It's pretty thick. It's a big file. 103 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,649 Pretty fat file. It's dank. 104 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,440 We should blaze through it, probably. Yeah. 105 00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:09,243 Yeah, we gotta file that for the THC Corporation. 106 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,685 Okay- 107 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,131 Because we are in the weeds. 108 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,922 How's Stella? She's a cute baby. 109 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 It's nice. 110 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,640 I think I realized for the first six months, everything is fucked. 111 00:04:19,714 --> 00:04:21,114 Everything changes completely. Yeah. 112 00:04:21,154 --> 00:04:23,731 You're like, "My life is over! Everything's different! 113 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,520 "Everything I could do, I can't do anymore." 114 00:04:25,544 --> 00:04:28,290 But now, I realize that that's all gonna go back to normal. 115 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,283 You sure about that? She can start drinking soon. 116 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,091 They make these little strips that test your tit milk for alcohol. 117 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,446 She puts them on her tits? 118 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,568 Yeah, she puts them on her tits. Her tits are huge right now. 119 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,085 Are they really? But I can't touch them. 120 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,003 She won't even let me see them, is what's fucked up. 121 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,081 What? When we have sex, 122 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,605 she leaves a wife-beater on. 123 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,409 It's like having sex with Tony Soprano. 124 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,481 You're the goomah in this situation. 125 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:46,561 Yeah, it's fucked up. 126 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,160 You are the only one of our friends that has a house and a kid. 127 00:04:49,184 --> 00:04:49,881 Yeah. 128 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,203 It's like you're, like, 10 years older than everyone, you know? 129 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,327 You're divorced. 130 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,481 The point is... 131 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,884 It's Jimmy time. You know what I mean? 132 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,530 And the girls, when you're dating... 133 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,965 Yeah? Holy shit! 134 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,883 See, we missed out on the whole, kind of, 135 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,843 sex-tech bubble, you know what I mean? 136 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:09,642 Now they got Sex Book and Fuck Friends and... 137 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,485 There's this thing called Grindr, which is just... 138 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,961 Your phone beeps when there's someone horny near you. 139 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,451 It's kind of amazing. 140 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,966 It's mostly guys, but I'm gonna find a girl pretty soon. 141 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,647 You're up. 142 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:22,881 Oh, Oh! Oh! 143 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,041 Hey- 144 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,440 What are you guys doing out here? 145 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,290 - There are the girls. - Hi. 146 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,169 How's it going, sweetie? Good. 147 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,446 What's happening? 148 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,085 There you go. 149 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,889 She's excited to see you. 150 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,849 Wait, wait. Hey. 151 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,448 Man, parenting is easy. Look at that! 152 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,851 Yeah, two hours a day. 153 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:48,921 Yeah. 154 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,202 This is delightful. This is awesome, this thing. 155 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,044 We should get one of these above our bed. 156 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,451 Oh! 157 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,524 Hello? Hey! 158 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,887 Oh, my God. You guys have to come out with me. 159 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,160 I haven't seen you in forever. 160 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,531 Yeah. What's going on? 161 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,126 Okay. My friend is spinning at the Royalton tonight. 162 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,089 There's a rumor that Prince might perform. 163 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,685 I really need to get out of the house. 164 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,650 I have not been out since Jimmy and I got divorced 165 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,291 and I really need you there. Please? 166 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,970 How do we do this? Do I call the babysitter bunch? 167 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,520 I don't know about that. Let's just... 168 00:06:23,544 --> 00:06:24,731 It's too late. We'll... Okay. 169 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,006 Why don't you drop it at the fire station? 170 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,360 We can't leave her at the... 171 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,480 What are you talking about? That's not how it works. 172 00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:30,161 The baby drop. 173 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,367 Okay. No. 174 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,441 I'm kidding. 175 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,646 What are you, like, having a baby, 176 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,200 you, like, lost your sense of humor? 177 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,280 What are you doing? 178 00:06:36,399 --> 00:06:39,527 I am using the little box in the Face Time to put makeup on. 179 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,250 You're not even looking at us, are you? 180 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,926 No. Who looks at the other people when they Face Time? 181 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,163 Why are you guys not coming out? Is fucking Jimmy there? Jimmy? 182 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,651 No, Jimmy's not here. 183 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,370 We don't have a babysitter, so... Yeah. 184 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,886 Hello. Fucking bring her. 185 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,802 No... 186 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,609 Yes? 187 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,250 No. Yes? 188 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,960 What are you doing? What are you thinking? 189 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:04,921 Let's just do it! 190 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,525 This could be, like, a doorway to 191 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,160 a whole new life, where we have it all. 192 00:07:08,184 --> 00:07:09,810 We have fun and a baby. That's fantastic! 193 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:10,847 This is the moment! I need this! 194 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,610 This is the moment. Let's do it. Okay. I need to go out! 195 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:13,727 Let's go! Let's go! 196 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,560 All right. I'm down. Little chicken. Come on! 197 00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:17,124 Baby's first rave. Baby's first rave. 198 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,040 Baby's first rave. 199 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,570 Baby's first rave. 200 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,360 Baby's first rave! Baby's first rave! 201 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,971 Wait. Shit! Diaper bag! It needs to be restocked. 202 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,280 I gotta get more shit. Okay. Okay. 203 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,000 You know what? She needs an extra Onesie in case she craps herself. 204 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,024 I think I better pump. 205 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,560 You gotta pump? I think I need to pump. 206 00:07:40,584 --> 00:07:43,562 She wants your necklace. Give me your necklace. Now, go pump. 207 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:44,880 We should get the cooler. 208 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,161 Okay, here we go. 209 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,846 Wait. If we're bringing the swing, let's just bring the Jumperoo. 210 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,570 We have room. I think we have room. 211 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,886 Butt Paste. I don't know where the Butt Paste is. 212 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,007 I don't know where it is. 213 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,120 Binky, Binky, Binky. I don't know where the Binky is. 214 00:07:55,144 --> 00:07:56,794 Binky's over here. I got Binky. 215 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,730 Huh? 216 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,760 We fell asleep. Let's go. Let's go. 217 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:02,960 Okay, let's go. We'll go now. 218 00:08:02,984 --> 00:08:05,326 Wait. Shit! Another video. 219 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,210 Best night ever. 220 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,362 Look at how much food I just ordered. 221 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,841 I'm not even hungry. It's so wasteful! 222 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,081 We missed it. 223 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,041 Shit. Don't hit me. 224 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,326 I'm so tired. 225 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,050 I know. Let's just go to sleep. 226 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,162 Tomorrow's a new day. 227 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,685 Love you. 228 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,969 Good night. Good night. 229 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,564 Excuse me. Sorry. 230 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,851 They're actually really good. They taste like vanilla, kinda. 231 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,371 They're awesome. 232 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,249 Pudgie, what do you got there? 233 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,124 Moving truck. Moving truck. 234 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,690 There's a moving truck. Wow. 235 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,360 Who do you think... Come on. Oh, my God. 236 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,606 Look, look, look. 237 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,131 What do we got? 238 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,643 Gay couple? Gay couple? 239 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,851 What is this? What are they doing? 240 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,040 And what are these kids in the pink shirts? 241 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,681 Is that a fraternity? 242 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,171 Yeah, they got big Greek letters. 243 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,850 Looks like a fraternity. 244 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,211 Oh, my God. Look at that guy. 245 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,248 That guy's the sexiest guy I've ever seen. 246 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,164 He looks like something a gay guy designed in a laboratory. 247 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,440 Look at his arms. 248 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,602 Oh, my God. They're like two giant, veiny dicks. 249 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,091 It's like a gun show. 250 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,650 Look at the blonde. 251 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,688 I don't see which one you're... 252 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,360 Oh, you don't know who I'm talking about? 253 00:09:32,384 --> 00:09:34,804 That blonde dude with the red sleeves? He's a handsome guy. 254 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,922 What do we do? Okay, okay. I know what we do. 255 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,280 They're gonna be loud, obviously. 256 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,800 And they're gonna fucking party a lot. 257 00:09:39,824 --> 00:09:41,170 Baby, this is a fucking nightmare! 258 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,765 I agree. We need to go over there. 259 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,763 We need to fucking tell them not to do that. Right now. 260 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,490 As soon as they move in, they know this 261 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,204 neighborhood doesn't stand for that shit. 262 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,726 And we're fucking grown-ups, we have a baby, and they need to be cool. 263 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,600 They need to be cool to us, okay? Yeah, yeah. 264 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,910 But... Okay, wait. Maybe we don't come on strong, though. 265 00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:56,369 Maybe we come on... We act cool. 266 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,090 We come on like peers. Yeah. Yes. 267 00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,167 Totally, we be cool. We take them a joint. 268 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,287 Yeah. We be cool. 269 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,361 Right? Ooh! We roll them a joint. 270 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,920 Roll them a spliff. Give that to them. 271 00:10:02,944 --> 00:10:04,548 Then we seem cool. They're thinking... 272 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,285 We're hip. "Oh, they're like us. 273 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,680 "This could be us in a few years." 274 00:10:07,704 --> 00:10:08,966 Yes, respect. 275 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,530 They'll want us to like them. Yeah. 276 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,762 Then we say, "By the way, keep it down." 277 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,040 Exactly. Well, we won't say it like that. We'll just... 278 00:10:15,196 --> 00:10:17,196 No, of course not. I'll say it. Like, we'll just... 279 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,769 You know, "Keep it down." 280 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,171 You're doing it a little weird. 281 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,446 Do it again. Do it normal. Yeah. Like... 282 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:23,487 I'll throw it away. Just throw it away. 283 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,284 Just like, you know, "If you could just keep it down." 284 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,964 Just say it normal! I can get it! 285 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,400 It's an important, key phrase here. 286 00:10:28,513 --> 00:10:29,753 All right, you do it. You do it. 287 00:10:29,777 --> 00:10:32,125 Okay, watch. I'm just gonna do it like this. 288 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,568 "Keep it down." 289 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,081 Lift it! Come on! 290 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,446 Come on! 291 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,571 Wicca-wazzup? 292 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,529 Hey! How's it going? Hey! 293 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,640 Are you our new neighbors? We're your new neighbors! 294 00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:03,321 Yeah! 295 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,686 All right! 296 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,330 What's up? 297 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,402 I'm Teddy. This is Pete. 298 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,246 What's going on? And who's this little lady? 299 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,286 Oh, that's so sweet. No one ever knows she's a girl. 300 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,045 What? Of course she is, because you're a little princess. 301 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,360 So, you're the little princess. 302 00:11:22,384 --> 00:11:23,344 You're a little... 303 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,567 Oh, she just scrunched her little nose! 304 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,369 So cute. 305 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,240 What's her name? 306 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,520 Stella. Stella, yeah. 307 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,762 That's the best name ever. Are you kidding? 308 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,569 She's a little flirt. 309 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,130 Oh, like her mom, I bet. 310 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,406 Mmm. 311 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,560 Cool. 312 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,250 Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know 313 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,642 that in this neighborhood, we don't keep off the grass. 314 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,210 What? You know what I'm saying? 315 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,280 No way! 316 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,924 Legalize it, y'all. 317 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,361 A joint. Thank you, guys. 318 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,323 Also, if you could maybe, just sometimes... 319 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,965 Keep it down! 320 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,641 All right. 321 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,000 Well, I mean, if you guys ever need anything, 322 00:11:58,024 --> 00:12:00,280 or we get too noisy, just talk to me, or talk to Pete. 323 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,760 We'll take care of it. Same with us. 324 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,800 I mean, we get pretty loud over there. Yeah, yeah. 325 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,130 Game of Thrones, we get loud. 326 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,328 When Khaleesi comes on, I'm like... 327 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,811 Yeah. It's crazy. 328 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,561 All righty. Well... 329 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:14,641 Dope. PETE". Com. 330 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:15,801 All right. 331 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:16,921 We're okay. Cool. 332 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,331 Later! See you, guys. 333 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,808 All right. All right. Nice. 334 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,371 Welcome to the neighborhood. 335 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,845 Take it sleazy. 336 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,526 Ems; Bye, Stella! 337 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,886 Bye, Stella! 338 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,003 And now, as President of Delta Psi... 339 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,923 And Vice President, we call... 340 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,561 Our first official meeting in the new house to order. 341 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,483 Chivalry above self! 342 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,927 Much like Scoonie's cock, 343 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,651 this year is going to be legendary. 344 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,960 I don't know if you guys are aware, 345 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,446 but Delta Psi is simply responsible 346 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,040 for the most epic party moments in history. 347 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,604 Gentlemen, take a look at the wall. 348 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,405 Travel back in time with me to 1930. 349 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,891 Delta Psi puts on a production of Julius Caesar. 350 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,567 A girl in the audience unexpectedly hands one of our brothers a beer. 351 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,010 And after that one fateful sip, 352 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,730 the toga party is born! 353 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,291 Hold that gam steady, Pete. 354 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,363 The year is 1971. 355 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,251 The US plays Red China in ping-pong. 356 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,281 Meanwhile, back at Delta Psi, our brothers 357 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,801 play a little ping-pong of their own. 358 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,202 An errant ball lands in a brother's beer, 359 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,566 and he just drinks it. 360 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,644 I give you beer pong! 361 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,768 The year is 1985! 362 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,083 Sebastian Cremmington and his brothers 363 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,366 are at the school pep rally. 364 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,921 They've been drinking since the butt-crack of dawn. 365 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,607 Sebastian knows he has to throw up, but he wants to keep partying. 366 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,366 What does he do? Does he puke, or does he drink? 367 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,249 Why not do both? 368 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,564 I give you the boot and motherfucking rally! 369 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,361 So many party inventions. 370 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,807 So many party discoveries. 371 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,131 How are we supposed to stand on the shoulders of giants? 372 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,240 Tell 'em, Teddy. 373 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,611 I'll tell you how. 374 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,567 Do you see that empty space on the wall? 375 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,288 Let's fill it with dreams. 376 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:48,247 We are gonna end the year with the most legendary rager of all time. 377 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,603 I'm talking even bigger than last year's White Trash Bash. 378 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,649 No, no, no! 379 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,088 Seems like an impossible feat. 380 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,163 But when we do it, 381 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,402 we will get our faces on that wall, 382 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,682 amidst the rest of these legends! 383 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:06,881 Yes! 384 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,770 Pete, do you want to tell us about your first summer as a Delta? 385 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,251 My parents got divorced. 386 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,323 And where did you go? Right here. 387 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,766 And what happened? I cried. 388 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,001 Why did you cry? 389 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,281 Because I felt safe. 390 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,809 Because I was surrounded by my brothers. 391 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,009 Brothers have a bond that goes beyond friendship. 392 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:28,290 We are the family you get to choose, and we don't get divorced! 393 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:29,646 No, we don't. We don't. 394 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,802 To believe in the life of love... 395 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,327 ...to walk in the way of honor, 396 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,369 to serve in the light of truth. 397 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,683 This is the life, the way, the light of Delta Psi. 398 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,207 This is the creed of our fraternity. 399 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,331 Can you take me higher? 400 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,005 Delta Psi. 401 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,804 Delta Psi. 402 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,201 Delta Psi, Delta Psi! 403 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,811 Delta Psi! 404 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,281 Delta Psi! Delta Psi! 405 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,010 Delta Psi! Delta Psi! Delta Psi! 406 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,627 Christ! What the fuck? 407 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,807 They're so loud. 408 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,041 They're gonna wake Stella. What do we... 409 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,400 What do you think we should do? 410 00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:06,550 We should call the police. 411 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,801 No, no, no, no, no. 412 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,120 We can't do that. 413 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,487 We should go over there, okay? And talk to them. 414 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,801 They'll listen to us if they think we're cool, you know? 415 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,803 Okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay. 416 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,166 Okay- 417 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,526 Grab the baby monitor. 418 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,847 Hey, Mac, Kelly. What's up? 419 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,084 We hate to be these guys, but do you mind just, like, kind of... 420 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,207 Just keep it down. 421 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:28,520 Just a little bit. A little bit. 422 00:16:28,544 --> 00:16:29,367 The music? 423 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,760 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just a tiny bit. 424 00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:32,091 First off, my bad. 425 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,844 Yo, guys! Music check! 426 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,763 We have neighbors, for Christ's sake! 427 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:36,966 Come on. Thank you. 428 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,087 That's a big bong. 429 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,241 Is that a two-story bong? 430 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,920 I really appreciate you guys coming by. 431 00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:41,806 Out of control. 432 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,848 Awesome, man. Well, thank you so much. 433 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,001 That's all we wanted. 434 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,605 Cool. Great. 435 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,765 See you guys around. 436 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,002 Okay, thanks, man. Dope. Cook 437 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,320 Sweet. Yeah. 438 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,684 I think we should invite the old people in. 439 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:57,966 They're old and lame. 440 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,320 I mean, yeah, I like their baby, 441 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,720 but this is no place for a baby. 442 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,125 Yeah, I know. But they're our neighbors. 443 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,720 They can make our lives a living hell. We need them on our side. 444 00:17:04,744 --> 00:17:06,826 If we're cool with them now, they'll be cool with us. 445 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,321 Hey, slow down! 446 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,521 Hey, there they are! 447 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,601 Where you going? 448 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:11,920 Do you guys want to come in? 449 00:17:11,944 --> 00:17:13,370 You don't want us to come back in. 450 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,120 I mean, no, we can't. We couldn't possibly. 451 00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:15,601 No, no, no. 452 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:16,721 Are you serious? 453 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,245 I think you should. Come on. 454 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,640 No, we've got the baby, so... We've got the baby. We can't. 455 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:21,664 Come on. Just real quick. 456 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,290 You have the baby monitor right there. 457 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,407 We do, it's working. 458 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,561 It works perfectly. 459 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,130 You're, like, 10 feet away. Come on. 460 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,201 Super quick tour. 461 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,044 - Just the tour, maybe. - Just the tour. 462 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:32,282 - Just the tour. Cool. - Oh, it's so exciting! 463 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,648 Oh, yeah! Magic mushrooms! 464 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,406 Slow down. 465 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,760 What the fuck is gonna happen? 466 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,646 I've been doing mushrooms since before the fucking Internet existed. 467 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,890 That's a weird phone! 468 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,650 No, it's my baby monitor. 469 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,085 You should look, you can see her. 470 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,241 Aw! 471 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,728 Peekaboo! 472 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,171 He's done. 473 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,244 - Peekaboo! - Oh! 474 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,280 Oh, no, no. The monitor is not working. 475 00:18:02,304 --> 00:18:04,606 I gotta get back. Gotta get back, gotta get back. 476 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,045 I'm gonna throw up. 477 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,491 Whoa... 478 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,571 I can't... 479 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,966 Right there. Yeah, yeah! 480 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,408 No, no, no! 481 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,769 Do you guys want to see something amazing? 482 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,121 Yes, I want to see something amazing. 483 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,123 Yeah. What is it? 484 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,567 I know you're all wondering why I brought you here. 485 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,761 Behold. 486 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,324 Wow! Good job, man. 487 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,731 Yeah, take a bow. 488 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,288 Wait. Wait. 489 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,320 Welcome to the lion's den, my friend. 490 00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:11,161 Yes! 491 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,005 This is my room. Off limits during parties. 492 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,840 This is where we keep all the important shit. 493 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,242 Alcohol, drugs, passports, ping-pong paddles. 494 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,160 Those things are always fucking disappearing. 495 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,160 Yeah, dude. My bros is always stealing my paddies. 496 00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:24,311 Right? What the fuck? 497 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:26,731 Holy shit! That's a lot of fireworks. 498 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,480 Can we light some of those off right now? 499 00:19:28,504 --> 00:19:29,161 No. 500 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,006 Man, literally, the last time we lit those off, we burned the house down. 501 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,727 It's not funny. That was really bad. 502 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,330 Check this out. Watch the yard. 503 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:40,761 Ready? Yeah. 504 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:45,966 That's awesome. 505 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,605 Welcome to paradise. 506 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:48,841 Hey, who's Batman to you? 507 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,127 Like, when you think of Batman, who's Batman? 508 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,201 Are you kidding me? 509 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,611 Christian Bale? Christian Bale. 510 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,444 Michael Keaton is Batman to me. 511 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,720 "Where is she?" 512 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,441 Michael Keaton's Batman was like, 513 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,484 "Hey, I'm Batman." 514 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,006 "No! Hey, I'm Batman!" 515 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,402 "No, dude, no. I'm Batman. This is what Batman sounds like." 516 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,811 "I'm counting on it!" 517 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,484 "No, I'm counting on it. I'm Batman." 518 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,648 We actually met in college. Yeah. 519 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:14,846 Aw! 520 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,241 Yeah, I was here for an exchange program. 521 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,330 I was only supposed to stay a semester, 522 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,364 but then he convinced me to hang around. 523 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,440 Aw! Yeah. 524 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,403 What's cool is we're almost roommates. 525 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,640 Dude, we are almost roommates. 526 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,250 Our rooms are, like, 10 feet away from each other. 527 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,600 Dude, we can have walkie-talkies, 528 00:20:30,624 --> 00:20:31,686 actually. 529 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,125 It would just work all the time. It would be awesome. 530 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,680 Let's get walkie-talkies and talk to each other all the time. 531 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,484 Walkie-talkies and earpieces and shit. Oh, my God. 532 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,607 That would be so dope. 533 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,721 It'd be so fun. 534 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,888 So, how did you meet Teddy? 535 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,042 I saw him. He saw me. 536 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,080 Yeah. 537 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,323 It's a really romantic story. 538 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,802 Hold on to this moment, man. Seriously, enjoy this. 539 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,491 Because soon, you fucking blink, 540 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,126 and you're the oldest guy at the party, 541 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,442 and it's terrible. 542 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,965 You don't seem old. 543 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,841 You seem like a senior that took a year abroad. 544 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,363 Really? Yeah, man. 545 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:11,845 Bottom of my heart. 546 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,365 You want to swordfight? 547 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,571 Absolutely. 548 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,571 Aw! 549 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,122 Epic night! 550 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,322 Crazy! I owe you, man. 551 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,891 - I really needed that. - Thank you so much. 552 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,849 Yeah, again, if you can just generally 553 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,724 kind of, you know, keep it down. 554 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,881 Just keep it down. 555 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,246 Just keep it down. Low. 556 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,448 That would be... That would be fucking... That would be trill. 557 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,960 You really want us to keep it down? 558 00:21:40,984 --> 00:21:41,984 Yeah, like, every night. 559 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,605 Yeah, try to keep it down. 560 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,603 I'll give it the old college try. 561 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,841 Nice! That was good. Nice. 562 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,206 Cool, cool. How is that? 563 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,125 Just make sure if we're too noisy, you call me first. 564 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,520 Don't call the cops, okay? 565 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:53,681 Okay. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. 566 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,046 Do you promise? I promise. 567 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,281 Do you promise? 568 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,561 I promise. We promise. 569 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,564 You promise? Okay. Because a promise is a big deal to me. 570 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,051 Okay- Okay- 571 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,202 We promise. Thank you so much, guys. 572 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,125 I hope you guys come over and try and hang with us some more. 573 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,960 Yeah, dope, dope. Cool. It was a good time. 574 00:22:09,029 --> 00:22:10,190 I'll go tell them to shh! 575 00:22:10,269 --> 00:22:11,081 Yeah. 576 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,491 See you guys- 577 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:13,886 Great night! 578 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,282 Hey, Teddy. It's Mac again. Your neighbor. 579 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,727 You said to call if it was ever too loud. 580 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,245 So, we're calling. It's too loud. 581 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,686 Can you please keep it down? 582 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,128 It's 4:00 in the morning, our baby's awake. She's freaking out. 583 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,327 Thank you. 584 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,521 Ten times. 585 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,489 I've called him ten times. What do we do? 586 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,364 If we actually go over there and tell them to keep it down, 587 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:40,440 we're gonna seem so lame. 588 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:41,447 We're gonna have to call the cops. 589 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,560 We call the cops? Yes. 590 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,443 He told us not to call the cops. 591 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:45,681 Do it anonymously. 592 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,040 They do our dirty work for us. 593 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,289 We're cool, they shut up, she goes to sleep. Done. 594 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:51,726 We have no blood on our hands. 595 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,087 We're innocents. We're innocents in all this. 596 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,680 It's a good idea. It's a good system. 597 00:22:55,704 --> 00:22:57,464 Let's do it. Okay, I'm doing it. Let's do it. 598 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,086 Here we go. Here we go. 599 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,004 Here they are. 600 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,969 Okay- 601 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,851 I feel so lame. I can't believe we called the cops. 602 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,806 They can't tell it's us. 603 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,609 They don't know it was us. Could've been anyone. 604 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:14,881 Could have been anyone. Any one of these people could have called. 605 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,371 We're not gonna get caught for this. 606 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,444 Anyone would do this. This isn't because we're old. 607 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,488 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh! 608 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,925 Oh, shit! Oh, no! 609 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,240 Oh, no! Oh, fuck! 610 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,401 Oh, no. 611 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,084 He sold us out. 612 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,447 Fuck, they're coming up the driveway. Oh, shit, they're coming. 613 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,522 Oh, shit. They're right there. 614 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,600 - Just go, you answer it. - You answer it. 615 00:23:35,624 --> 00:23:37,049 You answer! You are gonna answer. 616 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,122 You do it. You do it. You do it. 617 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,721 We're just getting dressed! I'm naked! 618 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,529 No, I see you guys right there. One moment. 619 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,045 Act like you just woke up. 620 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,006 Hey- 621 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,326 Hello, are you Mac? 622 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,683 Yeah. What's happening? 623 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,450 You called about your neighbors? 624 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,320 No. 625 00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:58,927 No. 626 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:02,124 I have a call, it's from Mac Radner. That's you. Right? 627 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,282 Yeah. How do you have that information? 628 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,681 We have caller ID. We're cops. 629 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,642 Everybody has caller ID. You're Mac Radner. 630 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:10,841 Okay, yes. 631 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,888 You called us. Why did you call us? 632 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,203 I called the cops because you were being noisy, man. 633 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,964 And I tried to get you to stop, and you wouldn't stop. 634 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,121 They won't stop partying! 635 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,280 Officer, you know how it is. 636 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,321 We're just trying to get to sleep. 637 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,880 We have a little baby. We have a baby. 638 00:24:22,904 --> 00:24:24,713 Mac's working in the morning. We got jobs. 639 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,524 They were at the party with us just last night. 640 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,569 Did you party with this kid? We don't party with them! 641 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,688 We shouldn't be in trouble. We haven't done anything wrong. 642 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:31,920 We have a baby. We're parents. 643 00:24:31,944 --> 00:24:33,548 Well then, what do you call these? 644 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,249 I'm too fucked up! Ahhh! Ahhh! 645 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,409 Well, it looks like you guys were partying with him. 646 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,721 You party pretty heavy. 647 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,127 That's a joke photo! 648 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,326 It's a joke? That's a joke! 649 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,606 It's not a good joke. 650 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,080 Okay, you know what? Let's end this. 651 00:24:47,104 --> 00:24:48,968 I'm sorry. I rescind the complaint. 652 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,088 You can go. No noise complaint. 653 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,844 You know the boy who cried wolf? 654 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,326 You're that boy. 655 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,482 Okay, I cried wolf. Never call us again. 656 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,608 Never call you again? You're the fucking police. 657 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,521 Look, man, we're sorry. 658 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,681 You were being noisy. 659 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,250 We tried to call you. I don't know what to say. 660 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,160 We called you five times, you didn't answer us. 661 00:25:06,184 --> 00:25:07,684 You made a promise to me last night. 662 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,081 We were pissing. We crossed streams. 663 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,685 Don't worry about it, you know? 664 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,127 "Hey, I'm Batman." You know? Right? 665 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:15,520 No, we're done with that, bro. 666 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,640 We're still cool, man. We're still cool. We're sorry. 667 00:25:17,664 --> 00:25:19,124 I'm not mad. 668 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,123 I'm just disappointed. 669 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,248 Hey, come on. Wait, let's just... 670 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:27,801 What's that? 671 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:29,641 Those are for you. 672 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,246 What the fuck? 673 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:32,920 Oh. 674 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,560 You shouldn't have called the cops, bro! 675 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,926 Okay- 676 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,649 Okay, very good. 677 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:42,721 Very good. 678 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,484 Okay. Congratulations. 679 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,160 You better put that in the recycling bin. 680 00:25:46,184 --> 00:25:47,185 All Of it. All Of it. 681 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,760 It's like Edward Scissorhands. Do you like it? 682 00:25:51,784 --> 00:25:53,130 It's a really expensive bush! 683 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,561 I'm sorry, I felt inspiration. What was I supposed to do? 684 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,643 I'm about to rip this shit out of the ground. 685 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,765 Fuck this bush! Fuck that bush, man! 686 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,410 Fuck this bush! Fuck that bush! 687 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,688 Harder, man. Yeah, really get in there. 688 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,171 Oh! Oh! God damn it! Kelly! 689 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,005 Whoa. Hey, man, buy him dinner first. 690 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,121 Fuck this bush! 691 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:12,727 Oh! Shit! 692 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,365 Okay. Ha-ha. 693 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,363 Sorry, man. Sorry my ball just got in your face. 694 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,163 I love you. Baby. 695 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,006 Oh, God. 696 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,605 I can't believe this is happening. 697 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,011 It's finally happening. 698 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,289 What the fuck? Oh, my God! 699 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,090 Oh, no! Oh, no! 700 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,120 We can't be the only people in the neighborhood 701 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,281 who are sick of this bullshit, you know. 702 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,800 We've gotta get everyone on our side. 703 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,126 We could lead a revolution. 704 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,201 Oh, no. 705 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,280 They're buying off the whole neighborhood with their slave army. 706 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,483 Oh! Mrs. Haywood, you're better than that. 707 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,290 I can't sell your house. 708 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:57,527 Why? Well, 709 00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,722 because the only people who would want 710 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,842 to live next to a frat house is a frat house. 711 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,889 Oh, the university might be interested. 712 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,804 I know the Spanish department is looking for a new building. 713 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,564 Only thing, if you sell to the university, 714 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,086 I'd say, optimistically, you're looking 715 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,726 at losing about half your investment. 716 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,326 Half of all of our... 717 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,845 We put all of our money in. This is all of our money. 718 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,001 We can't lose half. 719 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,481 But you keep half. 720 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,164 We don't need that! What is that? 721 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,401 Sold! 722 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,164 And you keep making money no matter what! 723 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,890 Real estate is a fickle bitch. 724 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,247 Okay, maybe it's best you just go. 725 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:30,651 Thank you for coming. Okay. 726 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:31,801 That was not helpful. 727 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,206 Well, okay. 728 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,325 What are you wearing? What is this? 729 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,970 What are you doing? Yeah. 730 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:38,770 We're throwing a Robert De Niro party. 731 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,328 Should be pretty fucking loud. 732 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,847 It's probably gonna go pretty fucking late, too. 733 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,361 I'm Taxi Driver De Niro. 734 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,244 Yeah, I'm Meet the Fockers De Niro. 735 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,641 I'm watching you. I'm watching you. 736 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,644 Who painted that mole on your face? Did you do that yourself? 737 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,848 Yes, I did. Yes, I did, Focker. 738 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,001 Who are you? 739 00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:00,364 Oh, I'm Sam Jackson, you know, from Jackie Brown. 740 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,086 Hoo-ah! 741 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,406 Hoo-ah! 742 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,360 That's Al Pacino. That's not even... Yeah. 743 00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:06,247 Scent of a Woman. 744 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:07,600 Hoo-ah! 745 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:09,720 There's no consistency here. 746 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,720 You're all over the place with your references. 747 00:28:11,876 --> 00:28:12,956 You're upsetting Jinxy cat. 748 00:28:13,036 --> 00:28:15,246 Just stop doing this stupid shit! We're sorry. 749 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,240 Hey, when you called the cops, you violated the circle of trust, Focker. 750 00:28:18,264 --> 00:28:20,266 We're sorry we called the cops, okay? 751 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,401 Are you talking to me? 752 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,607 - Yes. - Yes. 753 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:24,761 Are you talking to me? 754 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:25,887 Yes! Yes! 755 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,041 No, you talking to me. 756 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:28,406 Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? 757 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:29,720 I don't see anyone else here. 758 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,240 I don't see anyone else here, either! 759 00:28:31,354 --> 00:28:32,480 We're trying to talk to you. 760 00:28:32,554 --> 00:28:35,608 "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides..." 761 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,650 What the fuck are you doing? That's the wrong Sam Jackson speech! 762 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,640 Are you talking to me, or are you talking to him? 763 00:28:41,837 --> 00:28:43,683 Just get off! Are you talking to me? 764 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:44,841 Shut the fuck up! 765 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,080 You get the fuck out of here. 766 00:28:46,104 --> 00:28:47,105 Stop it! 767 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,481 Hey. What's nice is in a few years, 768 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,887 we'll have a third person to help us do this. 769 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,081 Hey- 770 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,329 What do you got there, sweetie? 771 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,526 Is that a balloon? 772 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,491 Did you find a balloon? 773 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,569 Oh, shit! That's not a balloon! 774 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,046 Oh, Jesus! 775 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,730 Oh, God! Oh, no! 776 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,211 Help! Help! 777 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,408 Get the fuck... Get out of my way! Move! 778 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,409 Doctor! Doctor! Oh, God! 779 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:16,685 All right. Hey. 780 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,364 Your baby 781 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,290 has HIV. 782 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,526 Oh, my God. 783 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,603 Is how bad this could have gone. 784 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:29,686 The condom was unused. 785 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,320 Are you fucking kidding me? 786 00:29:31,344 --> 00:29:34,268 Who the fuck says that to a couple of parents? 787 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:36,687 Hey! Ma'am! 788 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,921 Chill out, chill out! 789 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,366 They are dangerous to the neighborhood! 790 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:40,920 There's a clear focus going on here. 791 00:29:40,989 --> 00:29:42,629 I heard they burned down their last house. 792 00:29:42,653 --> 00:29:44,203 And they were reprimanded for that. 793 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,489 We have a very strict three-strike policy at this school. 794 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,490 So, they have one strike. If they get two more, then they're out. 795 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:51,761 A strike? 796 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:53,763 Well, listen, the way I do my job is, 797 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,286 you know, I'm always thinking about the headlines, right? 798 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:01,161 So, "Duke Lacrosse Team Rapes Stripper." Bad headline. 799 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,969 "Fraternity Keeps Couple Awake"? 800 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,168 That's not really even a headline. 801 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,641 I don't even think it would make the local police blotter. 802 00:30:07,793 --> 00:30:09,636 Get ready to read the headline of the century. 803 00:30:09,793 --> 00:30:12,564 Extra, extra! "Baby Swallows Condom!" 804 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,370 That's disgusting! Exactly! 805 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,480 It's the frat's condom! That's the frat's condom! 806 00:30:16,504 --> 00:30:17,645 I have a headline for this. 807 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,007 "Fraternity Practices Safe Sex." 808 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,600 That's a good headline. I could get a raise off that headline. 809 00:30:22,624 --> 00:30:23,971 I got a headline for you. 810 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:29,331 "Mean Dean Doesn't Realize That Frat ls Bad For Everyone." 811 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:30,527 It's really not. 812 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:33,041 It's very poorly worded. I don't think that would ever make it to print. 813 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,600 I don't know where you went to school. 814 00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,807 I went here, okay? That's why I'm dumb! 815 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,042 You know what? I just thought of another headline. 816 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,403 "Negligent Parents Allow Baby to Swallow Condom." 817 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,004 What'd you say? It's not a good headline. 818 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,961 Here's a headline. How about, "Go Fuck Yourself"? 819 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,121 That's what you get. 820 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,520 This is our home! It's our home! 821 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,848 This is our little cub on our lawn with a condom in her mouth. 822 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,763 Oh, my God. I'm a mama bear. 823 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,000 Yes, you are. You know what? 824 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,963 I'm gonna act all docile and then... 825 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,602 My claws are out! I'm gonna fucking get them! 826 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,531 Fuck these fucking guys! 827 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,320 They don't know who they are fucking with. 828 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,124 They think I'm just a regular dad 829 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,009 and then you know what happens? 830 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:11,366 Boom! Boom! 831 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,647 Teddy's dead! Pete's dead! Scoonie's dead! 832 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,121 Fuck you! No, no. 833 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,645 I'll fucking kill them! No, no. 834 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,290 Boom! No. 835 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,080 I'm buying a fucking gun! No, you're not! 836 00:31:20,104 --> 00:31:22,242 I'm not buying a gun! You're right, it's a bad idea. 837 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:23,441 Bad call. 838 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:24,601 What about one of those small prostitute guns? 839 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,125 No. You're not buying a gun. 840 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:27,646 Fuck! 841 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,080 What can we do? That fucking Dean. 842 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,202 What woman is named "Dean"? 843 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,164 She's not named “Dean Thaw her 'yob. 844 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,244 What? That's what "dean" is here. 845 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:36,561 No. Yeah. 846 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,085 Really? What did you think? 847 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,491 I thought that was her name. No. 848 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:40,641 Oh, no. 849 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,649 What do they call it in Australia? "Chancellor." 850 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,325 No, she's the chancellor. 851 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,643 Oh, my God. I was so rude to her. 852 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,649 I don't know what to do. What do we know? 853 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,080 What didn't we have in college? 854 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,685 I didn't have any money. 855 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:52,921 I had no money either. We had no money. 856 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,161 They're broke. They don't have any money. 857 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,440 We fuck with their house. They can't afford to fix it. 858 00:31:56,464 --> 00:31:57,464 Yes. They have to move. 859 00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:58,846 Yeah, fuck them! Fuck them! 860 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,600 We're gonna fucking fuck them! Fuck them! 861 00:32:00,624 --> 00:32:02,547 We are going to fuck them! Fuck them! 862 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,684 So the water came out of here? Yep. 863 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,371 This is gonna ruin us. 864 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,285 I mean, the foundation is flooded. We can't pay for this shit. 865 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,964 They're gonna condemn the house. 866 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,451 Okay, well, on that note, 867 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,045 maybe we should clean up and not 868 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,685 stand here with our dicks in our hands. 869 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,964 "Dicks in our hands." 870 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,449 Dicks in our hands. 871 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,529 Dicks in our hands. 872 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,049 Dicks in our hands. 873 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,362 Dicks in our hands. 874 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,086 Teddy, how much time we got? 875 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,403 Just a couple minutes, and then we pour in the latex. 876 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,642 We've got Delta Psi dildos we can merchandise. 877 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,282 Oh, God, I can't keep my boner much longer. 878 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,360 We're supposed to have boners? 879 00:33:08,384 --> 00:33:10,068 Yeah. Nobody wants a limp dildo. 880 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,007 You don't know that. People could want it for after. 881 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,562 Like, for cuddling, and it's like a love... 882 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,410 Okay, you're right. It's just a limp dick. 883 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,251 Hey, you boys have to go digital. 884 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,925 Look at that 3-D printer go. 885 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,041 Look at it go! 886 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,286 That's awesome. 887 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:27,920 Penis completed. 888 00:33:27,944 --> 00:33:30,366 Now I can go to class while my dick prints. 889 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:31,441 Where did you get that? 890 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,085 Got it at my architecture lab. Pretty cool, right? 891 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,605 Wow. Man, you should go to class sometime. 892 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,967 We have excellent facilities that, like, no one uses. 893 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,042 All right, let's pull these bad boys off and see what we've got. 894 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,207 We're good? Yeah. 895 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:41,361 Let's do it. 896 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,448 This is like Christmas. Oh! 897 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:44,601 Wow. Whoa. 898 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,649 Hey, you know, I think the clay is stuck to my pubes. 899 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,085 Why do you have pubes? 900 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,889 Wait. You guys shaved? 901 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,644 Dude, I texted you. I said, "Shave." 902 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,280 I thought we were taking pictures. I cleaned up a little, but... 903 00:33:57,304 --> 00:33:58,351 Not your face. 904 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:00,641 Oh, God. 905 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:01,881 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 906 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,280 Don't worry about it. I'm gonna enjoy this. 907 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,521 It's not gonna come off. 908 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,886 I'm just gonna leave it on. 909 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,406 I'm gonna drill a hole, I'm gonna pee. I can get bigger pants. 910 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,244 Look at me. You trust me, right? 911 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:11,407 I'm gonna pull this thing off. 912 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:12,680 Come on, just relax. I got you. 913 00:34:12,704 --> 00:34:13,971 Stay the fuck away from me! 914 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,724 Calm down. Count of three. 915 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,325 Teddy“. One. 916 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:18,440 Look at my eyes. 917 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,811 Two! 918 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,291 That was so much worse than I thought. 919 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,405 Ladies, I need a single-file line. 920 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,040 There will be no cutting in this line, 921 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,759 and if you're in the back, it is approximately a 20-minute wait. 922 00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:37,561 Hey. Hi. 923 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,722 Um... I'll take a Teddy. Cool. How about a Pete? 924 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,206 Oh, no. 925 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:42,526 I was just kidding, anyway. 926 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:43,641 So weird. 927 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,651 Holy shit, guys. I think we made $10,000. 928 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,920 Hey, you guys, if my calculations are correct, 929 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,764 not only can we fix the water damage, 930 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,083 but we can get the biggest hot tub in the world! 931 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,569 And outdoor speakers! 932 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,689 Yes! Yeah! 933 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,650 Delta Psi! 934 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,006 Delta Psi. 935 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:06,286 Delta Psi! Delta Psi! Delta Psi! 936 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:07,851 Dildo Psi! 937 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,611 Dildo Psi! Dildo Psi! 938 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,121 This is fucking ridiculous. 939 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,287 This is ridiculous. 940 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,364 Their dicks bought a hot tub? My dick couldn't buy a hot tub. 941 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,726 Hey- 942 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,043 Your dick could buy more than a hot tub. Your dick bought me. 943 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,005 Thank you very much. 944 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,650 I'm not a sizeist. 945 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,564 That's a little patronizing. 946 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,970 I don't get it. Who would even buy one of those dildos? 947 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,166 Bros before hos. 948 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,244 Why? Because your bros are always there for you. 949 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,041 They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out. 950 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,406 "Bros before hos." 951 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,881 And you were nothing but great to your ho. 952 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,687 And you told her that she was the only ho for you, 953 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:03,043 and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. 954 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,562 Bros before hos. 955 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,680 Fraternities. They live and die on the concept of brotherhood. 956 00:36:09,704 --> 00:36:10,241 I know. 957 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,288 The only way to break it apart is to get in there, 958 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,921 infiltrate a party, and get them to put hos before bros. 959 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,320 Hos don't go before bros. It just doesn't work like that. 960 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:19,805 A ho has never gone before a bro. 961 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:21,922 Maybe I have been a ho who's taken down some bros. 962 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,850 Ho, no, you haven't. I'm just saying. 963 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,002 You have? That is messed up. 964 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,451 I'm saying, that's the only way. 965 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,360 We've got to get in there, we gotta infiltrate. 966 00:36:29,384 --> 00:36:31,965 Get those little motherfuckers, turn them against each other. 967 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,166 Okay. I'm serious. 968 00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:34,446 Just ease up. 969 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,681 Sorry. 970 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,880 She's on the fast road to her first word being "cunt." 971 00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,450 It's not cool here. Sorry. 972 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,330 We're gonna make them put hos before bros. 973 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,971 Step one, lock down a babysitter. 974 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,090 Get this one taken care of. 975 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,361 Yeah? Right? 976 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:48,441 Yeah? Right? 977 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,403 Yeah. We're gonna get these guys. 978 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,161 Yo. I've been waiting forever. 979 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:53,441 Yeah, glad you made it. Whoa, whoa! 980 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,562 What is she doing here? Wait. What is he doing here? 981 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,080 Look, we're friends with both of you. 982 00:36:57,189 --> 00:36:58,789 Fucking just learn to deal with it, okay? 983 00:36:58,813 --> 00:37:00,050 This is an abomination. 984 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,885 You... Right now, both of you have to make a choice right now. 985 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:04,883 Me or her, choose. It's up to you. You choose. 986 00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,129 Shut the fuck up. 987 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:08,725 We're on a mission. 988 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:10,765 Yes, ma'am. I was just kidding. 989 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,081 Yo. 990 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,400 You here to ask us to turn the music down? 991 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:15,806 Because that's not gonna happen. 992 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,684 No, we're here to tell you to turn it up. 993 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,006 Shit, homie, we've been beefing for too long. 994 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,685 We just want to squash this like a bug. 995 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,245 That's all my weed, and it's really hard for me to get weed. 996 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,481 Oh, shit. 997 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,001 Okay, you guys can come in. 998 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,685 No 'shrooms for you, mister. 999 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:33,880 Don't worry about it, man. 1000 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,126 All right. 1001 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,686 Okay, Teddy's fucking Brooke, but Brooke wants to fuck Pete. 1002 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,451 But she's afraid because Pete and Teddy are best friends. 1003 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,961 We've gotta get Brooke to hook up with Pete publicly. 1004 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,560 Then Teddy is gonna want to kill Pete 1005 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,005 and the whole frat will implode. 1006 00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:14,291 Paula, flirt with Scoonie. Keep him talking and distracted. 1007 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:15,487 Okey-dokey. 1008 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,485 Jimmy, isolate Whitney. 1009 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:18,641 Okey-dokey. 1010 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,006 What do I do? Do I get to do something? 1011 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,730 You're on Teddy patrol. Keep him close. 1012 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,080 He's gotta see them hooking up. 1013 00:38:23,104 --> 00:38:24,384 Otherwise, this plan won't work. 1014 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,880 And remember, once they start kissing, 1015 00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:28,849 we've only got a few minutes before they go upstairs and start fucking. 1016 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,684 Okay, let's do it. Okay? 1017 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:31,807 Let's go. Go team. 1018 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,484 What? What? 1019 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,085 Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 1020 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,491 Cutting through. 1021 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,563 What it is, y'all. 1022 00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,245 What's up? 1023 00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:46,085 What's this, a dance-off? 1024 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:48,402 I don't know, bitch. Is it a dance-off? 1025 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,483 You tell me. I think it's a dance-off. 1026 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:51,600 Oh, shit! 1027 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,927 Dance-off! 1028 00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:00,925 Jesus Christ, not another dance-off. 1029 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,570 He likes them. 1030 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:04,210 How about some shots, guys? 1031 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:05,731 Okay, yeah! 1032 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,171 Sure! 1033 00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:43,129 Cheers. Here we go. 1034 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:44,766 Cheers. Here we go. 1035 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,404 Another one! Another one! 1036 00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:52,881 One more, one more, one more. 1037 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:54,691 I can't. No. 1038 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,770 I don't want to. 1039 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,251 Oh, shit. 1040 00:39:58,400 --> 00:39:59,765 I think I'm drunk. 1041 00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:02,082 You guys are so cute together. 1042 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,241 No! No! 1043 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:04,765 No. She's my... 1044 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,160 I'm with Teddy. She's with Teddy. 1045 00:40:06,233 --> 00:40:07,678 So you guys have never hooked up? 1046 00:40:07,753 --> 00:40:08,806 No! 1047 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,126 You're blushing. 1048 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:11,850 No, I'm not. You are. 1049 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,091 You guys have gotta relax. 1050 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:25,886 Shit! 1051 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,367 You're so cute. You're like a little possum. 1052 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,329 Look at you. I'm a possum. 1053 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:35,720 I'm a possum. 1054 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,680 No... 1055 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,531 No! No, no, no, okay? No! 1056 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,121 Just a little taste, a little taste. 1057 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,203 That was sexy. Can I make out with someone now? 1058 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,800 What are you doing? We have 60 seconds before they go upstairs. 1059 00:41:13,824 --> 00:41:14,926 Get in the dance circle. 1060 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,809 Okay, okay. I'm winning, by the way. 1061 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,010 - Hey, man. - Oh, shit! 1062 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,684 I think Teddy saw you. 1063 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:22,441 What? No. 1064 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,807 No, no, no. Shit. Shit. 1065 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:29,521 Hey, what's up, man? 1066 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:30,641 Hey, man. 1067 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:31,926 What's up? 1068 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,401 What's up? You good? 1069 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:35,880 Yeah, I'm good, man. How's it going? 1070 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,843 Everything's good. Fucking great party. 1071 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,240 Great party, right? Awesome party. 1072 00:42:39,264 --> 00:42:40,264 Yeah? 1073 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:41,606 Yeah, man. Yeah. 1074 00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,561 And we got a fight over here! 1075 00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,560 - Fuck, are you okay, man? - Dude, I'm so... 1076 00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:58,121 Oh! 1077 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,560 Is that how people fight now? What are they doing? 1078 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:01,967 Let go, let go. 1079 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:03,927 I'll never let go. 1080 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,327 I'll hold onto your balls forever. 1081 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,209 What are you thinking about? 1082 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:15,731 Why are you so calm? 1083 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,888 What the fuck? Ew! 1084 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:21,326 So gross! 1085 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,289 I never wanted to have to use that on you! 1086 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:24,361 What the fuck, man? 1087 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,130 It's a blessing and a curse! 1088 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,646 Get the fuck out of here! You're so gross! 1089 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,645 God damn it. 1090 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:34,446 Throw shit off the porch! 1091 00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:37,803 Throw shit off the porch. Throw shit off the porch. 1092 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,565 Let's throw shit off the porch! Whoo! 1093 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,122 Yes! Come on, Delta Psi! 1094 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,090 Whoa! 1095 00:43:58,480 --> 00:43:59,720 Holy fuck. 1096 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:06,322 Somebody call 911! 1097 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:09,846 He's still alive. 1098 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,485 He's still alive! 1099 00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:12,926 He's still alive. 1100 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,445 Oh, shit. 1101 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:15,846 We didn't kill anyone. We didn't kill anyone. 1102 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,081 Hey, guys! 1103 00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:18,844 What do you think of my new necklace? 1104 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:20,405 It's a choker. 1105 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,200 I fucking did it! I totally did it. 1106 00:44:26,224 --> 00:44:27,584 We couldn't have planned it better. 1107 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,723 That was incredible! 1108 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,766 We're celebrating. 1109 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,441 Fuck it. I'll pump and dump. 1110 00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:52,767 We fucking did it. 1111 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:54,966 Baby. Yeah. 1112 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,646 Baby, let's be spontaneous. Let's go fuck on the kitchen floor. 1113 00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:58,846 Yes! Come on. 1114 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:00,968 Let's do that shit. Whoo! Let's do it! 1115 00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,124 Let's do something we've never done. Okay. 1116 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,089 I don't know. Hit me with something. 1117 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,730 Okay. Smack me. 1118 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,131 Let's be crazy. 1119 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:09,486 Okay. Ow! Fuck! 1120 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,807 Fuck! Hey! Shit, stop! Stop! I don't like it, I don't like it! 1121 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:13,325 I like it. I don't like it, stop! 1122 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:14,920 This is turning me on. I don't like it. 1123 00:45:14,944 --> 00:45:16,046 I like it. Don't do that! 1124 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,120 Sorry. It hurts. 1125 00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:18,161 Okay- Okay- 1126 00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:19,611 Let's do something crazy. 1127 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,330 Why don't I stick something up your ass? 1128 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,449 No, not tonight. Not tonight. 1129 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:25,601 Can I stick something up your ass? 1130 00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:26,721 No, I'm not that drunk. 1131 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:27,847 Oh, I'm gonna come soon. 1132 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,365 Okay, I'm not even close. 1133 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:30,806 I'm gonna come. Come, baby. 1134 00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,008 I'm coming. Are you close? 1135 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,685 Come on. 1136 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,450 And... I'm too drunk to come. 1137 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:38,170 I'm not gonna come. 1138 00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:40,289 It's gone mushy. Thank you, sire. 1139 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:44,247 I will take the gentleman's route out and call it a day, 1140 00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:48,484 for no ejaculation will be occurring due to over-intoxication. 1141 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,686 Thank you. 1142 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,727 That's how adults do it. 1143 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,161 I love you, baby. 1144 00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:56,805 Baby, I love you. 1145 00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,046 We're a great team. 1146 00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,366 Baby, we're a hot team. 1147 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:02,923 My boobs really hurt. 1148 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,683 I think I should probably pump. 1149 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,723 My boobs are feeling really full. 1150 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,928 I like 'em like that. 1151 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,600 I like 'em full, baby. 1152 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,048 We did it. We did it. 1153 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:22,611 That's a beautiful thing. 1154 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,529 Bros before hos, motherfucker. 1155 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,364 That dude forgot the golden rule. 1156 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,363 I feel like shit. 1157 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:29,521 But I love it. 1158 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,201 Oh, my boobs. 1159 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:34,361 Oh, God. 1160 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,649 I gotta feed Stella. Okay. 1161 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,724 Is she awake? I'm more milk than woman. 1162 00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:42,206 I gotta get this out of me. 1163 00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:43,890 Get it out of you. 1164 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:48,250 Wait. Wait, wait, wait! 1165 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,289 Wait. Wait, no! Wait! 1166 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,250 Wait. Wait. Wait. 1167 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,050 Whoa. Wait. Wait. 1168 00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,043 No, no, no! What? What? 1169 00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:58,645 Don't slap my boob. 1170 00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:01,087 There's booze in your boobs. There's booze in your boobs. 1171 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,370 It's poison. It's alcohol. 1172 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,124 There's alcohol in there. 1173 00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,731 It's like a White Russian. Lay down, sweetie. 1174 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,087 Oh, it fucking hurts! I need this milk out of me. 1175 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:13,368 Okay, we'll get that milk out. Get the pump. Ow! 1176 00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:15,886 Okay, I got it. 1177 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,929 Fuck me! Fucking idiot! 1178 00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:19,440 What are you doing? I'm sorry. 1179 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,961 Fuck. Oh, no. Okay, relax. 1180 00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,246 I'm sorry. What the fuck? 1181 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,249 It broke. I totally broke it. 1182 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,480 I don't even know what the fuck to do with this. 1183 00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:28,801 Oh, no. 1184 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:30,086 Oh, shit! 1185 00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:32,922 Oh, they're Hulking out! They're gonna blow. 1186 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,525 What is happening to me? 1187 00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:38,128 Oh, gross! They look like my grandma's legs. 1188 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,611 Okay, let me call my mom. She'll tell us what to do right now. 1189 00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,125 Do not call your mother! 1190 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,681 Jesus! You Jews and your fucking mothers! 1191 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:46,961 What do I do? 1192 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,041 Milk me. What? 1193 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,360 You're gonna have to milk me. 1194 00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,408 I don't want to milk you. Well, you're gonna have to. 1195 00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,209 I don't fucking want to! What do you mean "milk you"? 1196 00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:54,281 You don't have a choice! 1197 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:55,441 Be a man and milk me. 1198 00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,887 Milk yourself! Try milking yourself! 1199 00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:58,961 I can't... 1200 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,280 Ow! 1201 00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:02,165 Oh! I'm sorry. Okay. 1202 00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:04,641 Get on your hands and knees. We need a pail or something. 1203 00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:06,649 What? You gotta get on your hands and knees. 1204 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:08,802 I'm not a cow! Well, how else do you do it? 1205 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,087 Just, normal. 1206 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,128 There's no normal way to milk a human woman. 1207 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:13,481 Okay, okay! Come on! 1208 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,561 Ow! 1209 00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,240 I can't do it. Don't yell, just try to... 1210 00:48:18,264 --> 00:48:19,550 Come on! Ow! I'm sorry. 1211 00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:21,446 It's not working. 1212 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:24,081 Oh, fuck! 1213 00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,130 Oh, fuck. Oh, God. 1214 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:27,725 Yeah! 1215 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,081 Boo-ya! 1216 00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:30,566 Okay- 1217 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:31,846 Whoo! 1218 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:34,286 We are not high-fiving. 1219 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:35,771 Oh, God. 1220 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,126 It tastes funny. 1221 00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,600 They say it tastes good to the baby. It tastes funny to me. 1222 00:48:39,624 --> 00:48:41,513 Just relax. Just settle down. Okay. 1223 00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,848 I got, like, four pails out of you. 1224 00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,005 We should go mom tipping later. 1225 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,724 Hey, too soon. 1226 00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,211 Okay, too soon. Way too soon. 1227 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:53,444 Yeah, I agree. I'm just trying to lighten the moo-ood. 1228 00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:56,762 Moo-cod. 1229 00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:58,365 Stop it. I know. 1230 00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,640 I'm gonna move back to Australia if you don't stop. 1231 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,122 Now I can't stop thinking of them. 1232 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,281 Okay. Mac... 1233 00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:06,449 That was udder-ly traumatic. 1234 00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:07,961 Please stop. 1235 00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:11,050 How much of you is traumatized? 2%? 1%? 1236 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:12,926 That was a cheesy one. 1237 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,320 That was good. You like that? 1238 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,084 You did it. See? 1239 00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:17,366 Yeah? 1240 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,010 But you know what? You hear that? 1241 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,486 It's victory. 1242 00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:22,120 We can finally go back to our lives. 1243 00:49:22,144 --> 00:49:23,384 It's over. 1244 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:25,963 What the heck are you guys doing here? Where's Pete? 1245 00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,760 I don't know. At some job fair or some shit. 1246 00:49:27,784 --> 00:49:29,384 What the heck's more important than this? 1247 00:49:29,408 --> 00:49:31,124 Hey, I just wanna let you guys know 1248 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,521 that I ate a whole pot brownie before coming in here 1249 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,967 and I am really starting to feel it right now. Yeah. 1250 00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,405 Why would you do that? 1251 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,246 Guys, don't talk. Please let me handle this. 1252 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:41,447 Okay- 1253 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,086 "Fraternity Severely Injures Economics Professor." 1254 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:49,081 What is this? 1255 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:50,241 It's a headline. 1256 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,204 Is it a good one, or a bad one? 1257 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:53,561 It's a bad one. 1258 00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,130 Yeah, it's a really bad one. 1259 00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:56,805 It's a bad one. 1260 00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,281 I promise you, as the President of Delta Psi, 1261 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,846 that we will find a way to right this wrong. 1262 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:05,000 Very sorry about this. 1263 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:07,970 You know what? That's it. 1264 00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:09,087 That's two strikes. 1265 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:10,960 You're on probation until the end of the year. 1266 00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:13,287 Okay? You so much as throw a party, 1267 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:17,285 generate a noise complaint, or end up on any sort of headline, 1268 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:18,691 and you are out. 1269 00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:20,200 Please don't put us on probation. 1270 00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,004 What about the end-of-the-year bash, Teddy? 1271 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,480 I mean, we have to get on the wall, plus we bought the kegs. 1272 00:50:24,504 --> 00:50:26,369 What, is she gonna reimburse us for those kegs? 1273 00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,240 Are you gonna reimburse us for those kegs? No. 1274 00:50:28,264 --> 00:50:29,834 Scoonie. Not now. 1275 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,001 Get out! 1276 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:34,681 I'm so sorry. 1277 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:35,961 Mmm-hmm. 1278 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,044 I just want to let you know, I ate a pot brownie before coming in here. 1279 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:42,203 I'm the opposite of the person you say that to. 1280 00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,284 That could have been two strikes, right there. 1281 00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:50,291 Oh, there he is. 1282 00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:52,160 Holy shit. 1283 00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:54,004 I'm just kidding. Sort of. 1284 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,406 What's up, man? 1285 00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:57,080 Thanks for missing our meeting, Mr. VP. 1286 00:50:57,104 --> 00:50:59,232 I had this job interview, so... 1287 00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,047 No, no, clearly you had more important things to do. 1288 00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:03,286 Yeah. 1289 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:04,850 So, how'd the meeting go? 1290 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,200 Oh, it went great. It went great. 1291 00:51:06,224 --> 00:51:07,889 We're on probation. We can't party. 1292 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,923 Shit. That's a bummer. Mmm-hmm. 1293 00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:18,007 So, are we cool with what happened last night? 1294 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,321 Bros before hos. Right? 1295 00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:21,447 Yeah. Right? 1296 00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:23,371 Yeah, man. 1297 00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:24,891 Junk before trunk. 1298 00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:27,645 All right, balls before dolls. 1299 00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:30,451 Compadres before I sleep with tu madres. 1300 00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,329 Brad Pitt before grab clit. 1301 00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:34,010 Deez nuts before skinny sluts. 1302 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:35,809 Masturbate before I ask her to date. 1303 00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,451 Beef stew before watching The View. 1304 00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,966 Male erection before One Direction. 1305 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:44,489 Mario and Luigi before Thelma & Louise-ee. 1306 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,291 Bert and Ernie before squirtin' spermy. 1307 00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:51,445 Man purses before regular purses. 1308 00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:52,567 Makes sense. Yeah. 1309 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:53,640 Okay. It does. 1310 00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,923 Sports before genital warts... No, fuckin'. That's bad. 1311 00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:58,968 That was a little weird. I'm fading a little bit. 1312 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:00,485 John Madden before... 1313 00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,771 Jasmine from Aladdin! Jasmine from Aladdin! 1314 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:04,880 Yes! 1315 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:06,649 We just said it at the same time! 1316 00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:08,720 All right, man, I should probably... 1317 00:52:08,794 --> 00:52:09,875 But, I'll see you back at the house, yeah? 1318 00:52:09,954 --> 00:52:10,807 See you, brother. 1319 00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,160 All right. Good talk, man. Later. 1320 00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,609 Hey! You Delta Psi? 1321 00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,205 Yeah. Are you a Delta? 1322 00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:20,370 No, my roommate was. I used to wear his ties to get girls. 1323 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,925 You interested in working for AT&T? 1324 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,165 What do you guys do? 1325 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,569 We're a giant telecommunications corporation. 1326 00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:31,246 Cell phones. Oh. 1327 00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:32,846 What's your GPA? 1328 00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:34,406 Like, low twos. 1329 00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,162 I'm just kidding. High ones. 1330 00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:40,769 We're actually looking for candidates 1331 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,640 that are a little more academically inclined. 1332 00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:45,087 So, you have a nice day. 1333 00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:46,241 What does that mean? 1334 00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,410 It means you're too dumb. 1335 00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:51,521 Good luck, bro. 1336 00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:52,727 Okay- 1337 00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,526 I hope we can "build" a great future together. 1338 00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:58,601 Architecture joke. 1339 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:00,761 I know! 1340 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,604 I like to have fun with it. 1341 00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,000 Lame. 1342 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,929 Big Mac! Yo! 1343 00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:13,730 There he is. Hey! 1344 00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,166 Hey. Hello. 1345 00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,721 You know, I was just thinking, 1346 00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,611 it would be great to have you and Kelly 1347 00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:23,405 and your little princess over for a play date. 1348 00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,483 We'll put it on the books. Okay, cool. Great. 1349 00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,480 Sometime soon. I'll just... I'll get back to you. 1350 00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:28,505 Yeah. Great. 1351 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:34,288 "And the dog goes, 'Woof, woof, woof, woof! 1352 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,922 "'Woof, woof, woof!"' 1353 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:40,483 - Oh, hi, baby. - How's it going? 1354 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,327 Oh, good. Yeah, I'm good, I'm fine. 1355 00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:44,481 I'm fine. 1356 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,329 I'm a bit bored, but I'm fine. I'm fine. 1357 00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,686 Yeah, I'm bored, too. 1358 00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:49,524 My boss just invited us for a play date, 1359 00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,165 so we can both just kill each other. 1360 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,801 I kind of miss the rush of messing with the frat. 1361 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,525 I have to go. She's awake. 1362 00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,489 Okay, call me after. Call me soon. 1363 00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:07,165 Hey, neighbor. 1364 00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,200 Ooh! 1365 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:14,367 Okay. Are you ready? 1366 00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:16,090 Me and Kelly, we have found a way 1367 00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:17,850 to give the frat their last strike. 1368 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,570 Get them out of here forever! Out! 1369 00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:22,166 Why are we doing this? Didn't we already win? Remember? 1370 00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:24,527 "Bros before hos," that whole thing? It's over! 1371 00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,920 They're still fucking there! There's beer cans on the lawn. 1372 00:54:26,944 --> 00:54:27,721 They're barbecuing. 1373 00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:28,926 So? "so?" 1374 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,206 it smells delicious in here. 1375 00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:31,930 Try living next to it. Try living next to it! 1376 00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,680 Hey, you guys don't want to go back to your 1377 00:54:33,790 --> 00:54:35,630 boring ass lives as parents. That's what it is. 1378 00:54:35,654 --> 00:54:37,243 I'm surprised and shocked, honestly, 1379 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:38,924 that it is so hard to convince you, 1380 00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:40,610 of all people, that this is a good idea. 1381 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:41,727 What? 1382 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,771 One of those childs is having sex with your wife. 1383 00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:48,008 It's fine. We're divorced. 1384 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,964 Jimmy! Wake up! Wake up, man. 1385 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:51,121 His dick is this big! 1386 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,481 "Hey, homie. I'm gonna fuck your wife with my giant dick." 1387 00:54:53,505 --> 00:54:54,725 "Oh, my God, this is amazing." 1388 00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:56,245 "Oh, my God, homie. It feels so good." 1389 00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:57,526 "Oh, homie." "Wow. Oh, my God." 1390 00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,170 "it feels so good, homie." "What are you doing later?" 1391 00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:00,287 "Oh, homie, let's do it. Oh, God, homie." 1392 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:01,447 "That's amazing." 1393 00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,727 Okay, enough! Stop imitating! 1394 00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,768 I get it! He's got a huge dick! 1395 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:07,320 And her vagina, "Bye!" It's ruined! 1396 00:55:07,344 --> 00:55:08,201 Destroyed. Gone! 1397 00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,160 It's like when you lend a fat friend your shirt, 1398 00:55:10,184 --> 00:55:12,551 and it comes back, and it's all stretchy and flappy! 1399 00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,565 Sagging all over the place! It'll be like this. 1400 00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,046 - I'm in! - Yes! 1401 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,170 Nice! Nice! Great! Awesome, awesome! 1402 00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:22,571 What's the plan? Okay, okay. 1403 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,125 We've been thinking. What gets frats 1404 00:55:24,240 --> 00:55:25,840 kicked out of schools more than anything? 1405 00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,366 Rape! 1406 00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:31,647 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 1407 00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,131 Hazing scandals. Hazing scandals! 1408 00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:34,200 Yes! Hazing scandals! 1409 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:35,241 Hazing scandals! Yes! 1410 00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,160 You should've said it before you let me answer. 1411 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,328 We need all that equipment you bought to spy on Paula. 1412 00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,211 I didn't... What? 1413 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:44,406 Just stop. 1414 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,280 Look, you just take these spy glasses. 1415 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:48,090 They look totally like normal glasses. 1416 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:49,645 You wear them into the frat house. 1417 00:55:49,720 --> 00:55:51,200 Teddy's gonna start pushing you around 1418 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:52,920 and fucking with you, like he always does. 1419 00:55:52,989 --> 00:55:54,593 Like I've seen him do a million times. 1420 00:55:54,669 --> 00:55:56,841 At that moment, you just push back. 1421 00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,809 Okay? Just push back. 1422 00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:00,484 The rest will take care of itself. 1423 00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,085 He'll haze the fucking shit out of you. 1424 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:03,690 It'll all get caught on this camera. 1425 00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,042 Delta Psi is gone, you're a free man. 1426 00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:07,960 Those guys are my brothers. 1427 00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,047 Your brothers? 1428 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,088 Do you think your brothers would really treat you like that? 1429 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:12,600 Think about what they've done to you. 1430 00:56:12,624 --> 00:56:13,646 They dehumanized you. 1431 00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,643 They treated you like shit. They degraded you. 1432 00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:17,760 You're an animal. They called you Assjuice. 1433 00:56:17,784 --> 00:56:18,441 Assjuice. 1434 00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,011 - Assjuice. - Assjuice. 1435 00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:21,764 - Subhuman. - Assjuice. 1436 00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,604 Assjuice. Assjuice. 1437 00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:25,728 Assjuice. Assjuice. 1438 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,123 Assjuice! Assjuice! Assjuice! Assjuice! 1439 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,408 You better eat this fucking dog food, now! 1440 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,001 What's the lesson? 1441 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,249 Don't go to sleep! 1442 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,364 This is your destiny, Assjuice. 1443 00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:42,401 Assjuice! 1444 00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,761 Assjuice! Assjuice! Assjuice! 1445 00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:46,530 Assjuice! Assjuice! 1446 00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:47,640 I don't know. 1447 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:48,800 Everyone breaks, bro. 1448 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,126 Biology- 1449 00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:51,611 That's from Zero Dark Thirty. 1450 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,170 You guys don't get it. 1451 00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,444 I've gone through hell. 1452 00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:59,444 I'm not gonna throw that all away now. 1453 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:02,127 You know how many BJs I've been promised? 1454 00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:03,880 Infinite BJs. 1455 00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,368 Infinite. Infinite. 1456 00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:08,210 Infinite BJs. 1457 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,010 Delta Psi forever, ya bish. 1458 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:18,522 We'll give you $1,000. 1459 00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:20,285 Okay. I'm in. 1460 00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:21,726 Nice! 1461 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,560 That was good. That was really good. 1462 00:57:24,584 --> 00:57:26,074 That was good. That was sexy, too. 1463 00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:27,925 He looks like J.J. Abrams. 1464 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,846 You look good. It looks okay. I think it's okay. 1465 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,240 You're never gonna forget this! 1466 00:57:32,264 --> 00:57:35,044 Move, elephants! Move! Keep marching. 1467 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:36,844 March! 1468 00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:38,689 March, march, march, elephants. 1469 00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:40,086 I'm not doing this anymore. 1470 00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:41,280 Get back in line, Assjuice! 1471 00:57:41,304 --> 00:57:42,305 Get back in line! 1472 00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,409 Fuck you. I am not an elephant! 1473 00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:45,720 What did you just say to me? 1474 00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:47,046 I am not an elephant! 1475 00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:48,560 He's doing it. He's doing it. 1476 00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:51,405 I'm a human man! I have dignity! 1477 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:53,403 We all have dignity! Yes, Assjuice, yes! 1478 00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:57,281 Our names are not Fuckhead, or Jizzface, or Lea Michele. 1479 00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:58,720 Lea Michele from Glee? That's actually funny. 1480 00:57:58,840 --> 00:57:59,880 Yeah, that's really funny. 1481 00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:01,167 It's Evan. 1482 00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:04,731 And Brendan. 1483 00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:06,401 And Juan. 1484 00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,449 So, fuck you. 1485 00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:10,250 Haze me. Say it. 1486 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,050 Say it! Come on! Say it, Teddy. 1487 00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,846 I will haze you until your fucking face falls off! 1488 00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,923 Yeah! 1489 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,450 That's great. Okay, okay. We did it. 1490 00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,080 You're in so much fucking trouble. Come with me, pledge. 1491 00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:23,121 Oh, fuck. 1492 00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:25,606 Fuck him up, Teddy. 1493 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:30,448 I'm sorry. I'll do anything. 1494 00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:36,841 What's going on, Gary? 1495 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,042 Are you okay, man? You seem distraught. 1496 00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:41,844 "You seem distraught"? 1497 00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,207 I mean, you've always been, in my opinion, like, our strongest pledge, 1498 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:45,520 and now you're talking back. 1499 00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,000 I'm scared. You're scared? 1500 00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:50,163 I'm fucking scared, man. I'm tired all the time. 1501 00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,368 Fucking tired. I miss my mom. 1502 00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,240 Oh, no, Assjuice. Breaking? The guy was right. 1503 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,280 Everybody breaks. 1504 00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:56,731 Okay. I'll tell you what. 1505 00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,325 You go up to my room. 1506 00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,880 Lock the door, draw yourself a bath. Relax. 1507 00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:02,451 "Draw yourself a bath"? 1508 00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,728 Catch up on some Z's, okay? Take a nap. 1509 00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:06,440 Full season of Girls up there in the DVR. 1510 00:59:06,464 --> 00:59:07,811 We never planned for nice. 1511 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:09,680 Thanks for talking to me, brother. All right? 1512 00:59:09,704 --> 00:59:12,105 You can always come to me with this kind of stuff, all right? 1513 00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:15,961 You're doing a great job. See you upstairs. 1514 00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,360 I'm sorry, guys. He's too good of a dude. 1515 00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,485 No! Teddy! 1516 00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:30,929 What's up? Yeah, one more thing. 1517 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,001 No more thing! 1518 00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,168 These glasses, there's a camera in them. 1519 00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:35,407 No! 1520 00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:36,567 Oh, my God! 1521 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:37,886 The asset's gone rogue. 1522 00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,001 Shit, he's still talking. 1523 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:40,081 Your neighbors got me to wear them, 1524 00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:41,440 so they could film you hazing us, 1525 00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:42,960 so the fraternity would get dissolved. 1526 00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:46,044 And this isn't the first time. No, no, no, no. They flooded the basement. 1527 00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,931 They got Brother Pete to hook up with Sister Brooke. 1528 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:51,161 I'm so sorry, man. 1529 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:52,605 It's okay. They've been after us for weeks. 1530 00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:54,125 No! He's telling him everything! 1531 00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:55,804 Oh, my God! Jesus Christ, guys! 1532 00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:57,285 Oh, my Gem. Oh, my Gem.! 1533 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:00,601 Wait. 1534 01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:02,287 He's looking at us. 1535 01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,203 What are you doing? He's looking at us. 1536 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,924 You guys just crossed the fucking line. You're dead. 1537 01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:09,601 We're dead? 1538 01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,128 Oh, God! Oh, my God! That was scary. 1539 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,531 Come on, guys. Jesus. 1540 01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:16,689 How do you turn these off? 1541 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,365 It's on the side. 1542 01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,885 We're gonna go to the shops 1543 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,522 Then we're gonna go to Mommy and Me 1544 01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,042 And see all those bitches that I hate 1545 01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:32,886 It's gonna be really boring 1546 01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,367 But we'll get out of the house! 1547 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,681 I think the frat has broken into the car and stolen all of the airbags. 1548 01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:49,251 Airbags? Yeah. 1549 01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,084 That's so weird. Is anything else missing? 1550 01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:52,605 Okay No! 1551 01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:55,280 Why would they just break in and steal the airbags? 1552 01:00:55,304 --> 01:00:57,144 I don't know. We should file a police report... 1553 01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:03,605 What the fuck? 1554 01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:05,806 Oh, shit! 1555 01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:09,171 Found the airbags! 1556 01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,246 There's three left! 1557 01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:14,801 Fuck! 1558 01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:16,241 Two left! 1559 01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:18,770 Jimmy, are you okay? 1560 01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:20,601 I'm fine! 1561 01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,604 It wasn't as bad as it seemed. I'm fine. 1562 01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,524 Delta Psi has the upper hand! 1563 01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:28,406 We went too far now. This is dangerous. 1564 01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:30,570 We did not go too far. 1565 01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,608 Now is when we get them back even more. 1566 01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:34,444 Do you see what they fucking did to me? We don't stop now! 1567 01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:37,120 So, what it's gonna be next? They're gonna break into the house? 1568 01:01:37,144 --> 01:01:37,967 No. No. 1569 01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:40,691 You need to grow up, okay? Our family is in danger. 1570 01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,680 I need to grow up? Yes, you need to grow up. 1571 01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:44,960 One of us has got to be the adult in this relationship. 1572 01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,240 You should take responsibility. 1573 01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:48,442 That's not only offensive, but it's fucking stupid. 1574 01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,449 It's offensive that I'm saying that you should be smart? 1575 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,371 Yes, it's offensive that I have to be the smart one all the time! 1576 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,320 I'm allowed to be just as irresponsible as you. 1577 01:01:55,344 --> 01:01:57,287 Well, that's how it works! I'm the dumb guy, 1578 01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:58,880 and you're the woman who's supposed to 1579 01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:00,440 stop the dumb guy from doing dumb shit! 1580 01:02:00,464 --> 01:02:02,522 Haven't you ever seen a fucking Kevin James movie? 1581 01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:04,762 We can't both be Kevin James. I'm Kevin James! 1582 01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:06,604 I have a little bit of Kevin James in me. 1583 01:02:06,680 --> 01:02:07,727 Well, we can't both... 1584 01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,480 Clearly, you're the one who knows better, so you should know better. 1585 01:02:10,504 --> 01:02:13,249 You know that I'm not like that, and I've never been like that. 1586 01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:14,890 Well, maybe you should be. That's never been me. 1587 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,411 Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean 1588 01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:18,010 that I'm gonna change who I am. 1589 01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:19,360 Well, just because I'm a father, 1590 01:02:19,384 --> 01:02:22,927 it doesn't mean I can stop doing mushrooms with teenagers. 1591 01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:24,001 Fine! Fine! 1592 01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,120 Good. Good, then. 1593 01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,003 Okay, Kevin, I don't think we're a good team anymore. 1594 01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:28,280 The team is breaking up. Yep. 1595 01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,209 This worked before we had Stella, but... 1596 01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:32,010 Now it doesn't. It doesn't work anymore. 1597 01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:33,400 Yeah, because someone refuses to grow up. 1598 01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:34,521 Fine. Okay. Fine then. 1599 01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,329 You go find your nagging wife that you 1600 01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,249 want to find, and I'll go find a real man. 1601 01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:39,810 Fine! Good to know. Fine. 1602 01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:42,201 I don't feel safe here, just in case you didn't know. 1603 01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:43,446 Well, that's crazy. 1604 01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:44,840 I'm gonna take our child and go. 1605 01:02:44,879 --> 01:02:46,165 Oh, yeah? Well, that's ludicrous, 1606 01:02:46,239 --> 01:02:49,050 because this is perhaps the safest place on the planet, 1607 01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,321 just so you know! 1608 01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:51,925 You're kidnapping our baby! Asshole! 1609 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,570 Don't kidnap our baby! 1610 01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:55,369 I'm gonna put out an AMBER fucking Alert! 1611 01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,249 Enjoy the house by yourself, you child! 1612 01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,005 This is safer than the White House! 1613 01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:03,370 Dude, we missed the airbag! 1614 01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:05,164 Kelly, there's one left! 1615 01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:07,165 It could be anywhere! 1616 01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:09,291 Ow! 1617 01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:16,203 Hey, man, do you think, maybe we're going, like, way too far with this? 1618 01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:18,608 I mean, as a child of divorce, I just... 1619 01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,251 I can't help it, I sympathize with them. 1620 01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,563 Well, my parents love each other, and I think it's hilarious. 1621 01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:44,921 Fuck! 1622 01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:47,921 Fuckers! Fuck! 1623 01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:18,127 Shalom, Mac. 1624 01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,571 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. 1625 01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:23,766 How's it going? I'm sorry. 1626 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,405 I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. 1627 01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:26,760 I love you so much. I'm so sorry. 1628 01:04:26,784 --> 01:04:27,801 I love you, I'm sorry. 1629 01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:29,211 I was so stupid. 1630 01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:31,044 What a stupid fucking fight to have. 1631 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:32,326 No, I was stupid. I'm really, really sorry. 1632 01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:33,726 I'm so sorry. It was so dumb. 1633 01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:35,404 It was really dumb. I love you so much, okay? 1634 01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:36,766 Do you still like me? I miss you. I love you. 1635 01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:38,560 Do you still like me? Yes, I still like you. 1636 01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:40,188 Okay, good. I love you. Okay. 1637 01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:41,600 She's so crazy. 1638 01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:42,926 She's still behind you. 1639 01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,009 Hey. Hi. 1640 01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:54,645 Lame, isn't it, Pete? 1641 01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:01,880 Whoa. 1642 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,606 You're really villaining out in here. 1643 01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:07,169 What's lame? What's going on? 1644 01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:09,888 Lame that we're on probation. 1645 01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:12,280 We're not gonna end up on this thing. 1646 01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:16,120 That is kind of lame, but also kind of meaningless, right? 1647 01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:17,600 What the fuck are you talking about? 1648 01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:20,928 No, man. I just mean, like, you're the President, you know? 1649 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,360 If you want to be up there so bad, just put your picture up. 1650 01:05:23,432 --> 01:05:24,432 No one's gonna stop you. 1651 01:05:24,472 --> 01:05:26,288 Because then I didn't earn it. 1652 01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:30,126 It doesn't mean anything if you don't earn it. 1653 01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:31,645 Who cares? 1654 01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:33,685 "Who cares?" 1655 01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:36,884 Are you kidding me? 1656 01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:41,529 You're the VP, man. 1657 01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:44,601 We have wanted this since we were freshmen. 1658 01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:47,001 Dude, that was four years ago, okay? 1659 01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:49,208 We were fucking virgins. All right? 1660 01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:51,442 We're about to be, like, adults now. 1661 01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:52,965 In two weeks, none of this is even gonna matter. 1662 01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,440 What the fuck are you talking about? 1663 01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:57,802 I mean, you do realize that all this stuff, it's all bullshit, right? 1664 01:05:57,880 --> 01:05:59,245 It's all made up. 1665 01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:02,767 Like, my brother's fraternity also thinks they invented beer pong. 1666 01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:04,000 Well, your brother is a liar. 1667 01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:05,610 All right, let's put that down. 1668 01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:08,808 Dude, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, 1669 01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:10,564 but I think you're freaking out 1670 01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,370 about what you're gonna do next year. 1671 01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:13,805 What? 1672 01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:15,331 I'm trying to be your friend, okay? 1673 01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,600 But I don't know why you try to hide this stuff from me. 1674 01:06:17,624 --> 01:06:19,204 I'm a psychology minor, you know that. 1675 01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:20,520 "I'm a psychology minor." 1676 01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:22,489 Dude, why do you think you're so obsessed 1677 01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:24,489 with that old couple next door, all right? 1678 01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:26,324 It's because they remind you of the future. 1679 01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:27,606 I'm sorry, but it's true. 1680 01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,170 What the fuck are you talking about? 1681 01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:30,605 You're trying to be my friend? Yes! 1682 01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:32,648 Well, why don't you go fuck my girlfriend again? 1683 01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:34,051 What? Yeah. 1684 01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:35,840 I thought we were over that. What are you... 1685 01:06:35,955 --> 01:06:37,675 How the fuck could I be cool with that, man? 1686 01:06:37,755 --> 01:06:39,244 You had sex with my girlfriend! 1687 01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,360 What are you... We said all those things, all right? 1688 01:06:41,384 --> 01:06:42,924 They rhymed! What the hell was that? 1689 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,765 We said some shit that rhymed? Are you crazy, man? 1690 01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,560 How the fuck would that make me feel better? 1691 01:06:47,584 --> 01:06:51,047 You don't think I was clearly trying to mask how I really felt, 1692 01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:52,406 so I tried to bro out with you? 1693 01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:54,130 I don't know! You're a good actor! 1694 01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:55,964 What the fuck am I supposed to think? 1695 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,525 Get the fuck out of here! 1696 01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:00,046 God! Dude, take your shit out on someone else, all right? 1697 01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:01,685 This isn't about me. Okay. 1698 01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:03,603 That's right, Pete. Walk away. 1699 01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:06,530 Bitch. Oh, my God. 1700 01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:07,726 Ahhh! 1701 01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:10,125 Scoonie put his dick in your mouth 1702 01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:11,605 while you were sleeping, bitch! 1703 01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,726 Uh-uh. I wasn't asleep. 1704 01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:35,121 One sec! 1705 01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:37,690 Get your knees in there. 1706 01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:39,320 There you go. 1707 01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:44,120 Hey, neighbor. 1708 01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:46,680 What the fuck do you want, man? 1709 01:07:46,704 --> 01:07:48,369 Hi, how's it going? 1710 01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:49,885 What do you want? It's over. Yeah. 1711 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:51,604 You won. There's nothing else. 1712 01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:52,760 We're just getting started. 1713 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,723 I know what you might be thinking. 1714 01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:56,251 "Teddy is gonna graduate this year 1715 01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:57,850 "and everything's gonna be fine." 1716 01:07:57,920 --> 01:07:58,921 But it won't. 1717 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,520 Because in a few weeks, when school ends, so does our probation. 1718 01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:07,007 There's gonna be hundreds and thousands of Teddys living next door to you for all time. 1719 01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:10,923 Because "Teddy" is just an idea. 1720 01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,161 It's over. It's over, man. 1721 01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:13,241 Okay? It's done. 1722 01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:14,606 It's over? Okay, it's over, it's over, it's over. 1723 01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:16,160 I just have one thing I wanted to say. 1724 01:08:16,184 --> 01:08:19,084 This entire time, your daughter is gonna be growing up 1725 01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:21,970 watching all these young, shirtless men next door, 1726 01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:24,247 and we're gonna be watching right back. 1727 01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:26,761 You're a bad boy! Get off our porch. 1728 01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:28,800 Delta Psi, bitch. Now! I'm gonna call the police! 1729 01:08:28,824 --> 01:08:29,825 Get off! 1730 01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:32,607 We are not moving. 1731 01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,603 No. They are. 1732 01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:36,929 The problem is that they're on probation. 1733 01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:38,161 I know. They're being careful. 1734 01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,920 They're never gonna do anything ridiculous, 1735 01:08:40,069 --> 01:08:41,480 because they're watching themselves. 1736 01:08:41,549 --> 01:08:44,727 What would be great is if they didn't think they were on probation. 1737 01:08:48,440 --> 01:08:52,525 Our probation's been lifted! Our probation's been lifted! 1738 01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:54,211 Our probation's been lifted! 1739 01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:57,005 Yeah, this is amazing. 1740 01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:59,367 I want a baby. I'm gonna have a baby. 1741 01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:01,409 You don't want a baby. Oh, I do. 1742 01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:02,840 Would you be my surrogate, Kelly? 1743 01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:04,689 No! Dude, don't ask that. 1744 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:07,730 Don't be so fucking offended. It's not like we're gonna have sex. 1745 01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:10,330 - I would masturbate into her. - That's not how it works. 1746 01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:11,367 That's not what you would do. 1747 01:09:11,480 --> 01:09:12,720 I don't want to talk about this. 1748 01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:13,960 Oh, shit. Teddy just tweeted. 1749 01:09:13,984 --> 01:09:15,291 What? 1750 01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:16,765 Tomorrow night, party's on. 1751 01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:18,321 Free party tonight. 1752 01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:20,687 There'll be food, blankets. It's gonna be great. 1753 01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:21,961 We're back on the air with Dirty Boy. 1754 01:09:22,040 --> 01:09:23,040 And Romie the Homie. 1755 01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:24,920 Right, right. So let's take a few calls. 1756 01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:26,041 All right, caller, what's your name? 1757 01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,121 Hey, dude. 1758 01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:29,806 This is Nutsack calling over from Delta Psi. 1759 01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:31,120 What's up, Nutsack? 1760 01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,571 We're having a huge rager tonight. 1761 01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:35,041 You know what brings people to a party more than anything? 1762 01:09:36,120 --> 01:09:37,167 Celebrities. 1763 01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:39,400 This is Mark Wahlberg. If you don't come to this party, 1764 01:09:39,424 --> 01:09:41,384 I'm gonna give you a world-class knuckle sandwich. 1765 01:09:41,408 --> 01:09:43,162 Oh, my gosh. This is Anne Hathaway. 1766 01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:47,126 I want to ask you to the party this weekend that I'm having with friends. 1767 01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:49,442 Hello. This is Julia Child. 1768 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,207 Ho! Hey, babe, you want to party? 1769 01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:54,362 The question is, do you want to party? 1770 01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:55,601 Right there. 1771 01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:57,045 You, too, Deadwood. There you go. 1772 01:09:57,120 --> 01:09:58,121 See you guys- 1773 01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:02,042 Hey, it's Ray Romano. What are you doin'? 1774 01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,280 No, this is Ray Romano and... No, this is Ray Romano... 1775 01:10:04,304 --> 01:10:05,954 Who is Ray Romano? 1776 01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,528 This is President Barack Obama, 1777 01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:11,689 telling you to come to a great party 1778 01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:14,804 this evening at 2203 West Olmstead. 1779 01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:16,006 Peace, nigga. 1780 01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:37,801 Gentlemen, we are fortunate members 1781 01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:41,402 of a prestigious lineage of extraordinary gentlemen. 1782 01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:45,405 We are Delta Psi Beta. 1783 01:10:45,480 --> 01:10:46,891 Delta Psi! 1784 01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:54,966 Now, there is no higher honor in Delta Psi than making it onto the wall. 1785 01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:59,650 And this year, we will make it on that wall. 1786 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:01,923 People have hot-boxed showers. 1787 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:03,206 They've hot-boxed cars. 1788 01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:05,561 Attics. Caves. Fire trucks. 1789 01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:07,768 Porta-Potties. Private planes. 1790 01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:10,605 But tonight, forget the hot-box. 1791 01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:13,843 I give you the hot house. 1792 01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:31,689 Holy shit. 1793 01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:34,000 This party is getting out of control. 1794 01:12:34,077 --> 01:12:35,477 This is strike three. This is crazy. 1795 01:12:35,517 --> 01:12:36,929 Strike three. Yes! 1796 01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:40,044 Yes, hello. This is the President of the neighborhood watch. 1797 01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:44,808 There is a giant party at 2203 West Olmstead right now. 1798 01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:48,367 They're yelling and fighting. The ringleader's name is Scoonie. 1799 01:12:48,440 --> 01:12:50,090 He's a little scrawny piece of shit with a giant dick. 1800 01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:51,960 Come on, come on. Stay on message! I'm sorry. 1801 01:12:52,030 --> 01:12:53,077 They are sending the cops. 1802 01:12:53,190 --> 01:12:56,641 We have a disturbance at 2203 West Olmstead. 1803 01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:57,721 10-4. 1804 01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,567 What is this? Is this our flyer? 1805 01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:04,961 No, we do everything online! 1806 01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:06,724 Who makes flyers anymore? 1807 01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,040 Fucking old people! 1808 01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:09,406 Old people? 1809 01:13:09,480 --> 01:13:12,324 Thumbsucker! Let me see the letter from the school, man! 1810 01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:19,403 Our school's insignia is in Latin. 1811 01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:21,050 This is in Jewish! 1812 01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,724 What? We're not off probation! 1813 01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:24,006 The old people have the upper hand. 1814 01:13:24,120 --> 01:13:25,480 We got to get everyone out of here! 1815 01:13:25,554 --> 01:13:26,594 We got to get everybody... 1816 01:13:26,674 --> 01:13:28,204 Hootie-hoo! Hootie-hoo! 1817 01:13:29,840 --> 01:13:30,841 Guys! 1818 01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:33,163 Hootie-hoo! Hootie-hoo! 1819 01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:42,401 Shit, they're hootie-hooing! 1820 01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:43,965 What? They're fucking hootie-hooing. 1821 01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:45,120 What does that mean? 1822 01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:46,446 That means they know the cops are coming. 1823 01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:48,249 I don't get it! It's from an Outkast song. 1824 01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:50,010 Born and bred up on the street top 1825 01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:52,200 Get the money and the sweet spot And forever hollerin' 1826 01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:53,725 Hootie-hoo When we see cops 1827 01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:55,404 Yo, cops be robbing niggaz blind With the dollars... 1828 01:13:55,520 --> 01:13:57,170 Okay, okay, we fucking get it! I get it. I get it. 1829 01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:58,810 That's the song. How could they know that's happening? 1830 01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:00,006 How do they know something's wrong? 1831 01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:01,200 It's because of the Hebrew. 1832 01:14:01,224 --> 01:14:04,204 I put a little Hebrew in the school sign, you know, like a coded game. 1833 01:14:04,320 --> 01:14:05,606 What? What? 1834 01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:07,200 Check this out. Inside the school seal, 1835 01:14:07,224 --> 01:14:11,524 I put sof hamisschak, which is Hebrew for "game over." 1836 01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,251 What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Why did you do that? 1837 01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:15,441 - Stop hitting me. - That's so stupid! 1838 01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:17,040 No! No, no! It's like a wink, you know? 1839 01:14:17,114 --> 01:14:18,718 Like at the end of a heist, you leave your calling card. 1840 01:14:18,794 --> 01:14:20,164 It's like, "They got us again." 1841 01:14:20,240 --> 01:14:22,049 One big difference, the heist isn't done! 1842 01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:23,924 We're mid-fucking-heist, genius! 1843 01:14:36,320 --> 01:14:39,051 Everybody out! Party's over! 1844 01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:41,441 Let's go! This is not a fucking drill! 1845 01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:43,488 Stop standing around! Let's go! 1846 01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:46,643 Drinks down! No alcohol outside! Get the fuck out of here! 1847 01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:49,402 Party's over! Dirty Santa, let's go! 1848 01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:51,800 Everyone's clearing out. Oh, my God! 1849 01:14:51,824 --> 01:14:52,950 Everyone's leaving! 1850 01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:56,244 This isn't a strike! It's not a strike if everyone's leaving! 1851 01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:57,321 Shit! 1852 01:14:58,760 --> 01:14:59,761 It's Watkins. 1853 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,401 Looks like the party shut down. 1854 01:15:04,600 --> 01:15:05,601 Cops are here. 1855 01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:08,606 Fuck me! Shit! They're sending Garf out to talk to him. 1856 01:15:08,760 --> 01:15:10,520 He's so charming, he'll get the cop to leave. 1857 01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:11,840 Yo, is there a party going on around here? 1858 01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:14,082 No, no. There was, but I shut that down. 1859 01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:16,009 You got nothing to worry about, officer. 1860 01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:17,730 That's really responsible of you guys. 1861 01:15:17,840 --> 01:15:19,444 You must've heard we were coming. 1862 01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:22,604 Look, we're in a nice neighborhood. We want to be good neighbors. 1863 01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:24,200 It's the least we could do, you know? 1864 01:15:24,224 --> 01:15:25,610 We appreciate that, man. 1865 01:15:25,920 --> 01:15:27,046 I'm gonna go now. No. 1866 01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:28,920 You're not trying to get rid of me, are you? 1867 01:15:28,944 --> 01:15:30,946 No. No. 1868 01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:33,123 We've got to save... Come on, we're so close! 1869 01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:34,964 We gotta save this. What do we do? Okay, okay, okay. 1870 01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,000 Teddy's room. We got to sneak into Teddy's room. 1871 01:15:37,024 --> 01:15:38,610 Fuse box. We'll turn the party back on. 1872 01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:40,211 Get the party going again. Get the party started. 1873 01:15:40,360 --> 01:15:41,960 Let's go. Get the party started! Come on! 1874 01:15:41,984 --> 01:15:43,344 Grab the monitor. Grab the monitor. 1875 01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:45,289 What are you doing? I'm sneaking. 1876 01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:46,885 What the fuck? 1877 01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:48,490 Don't worry about it. 1878 01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,051 Is that your real name? Garf? 1879 01:15:50,240 --> 01:15:51,401 Well, Garfield. 1880 01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,244 Garfield. Garfield, yeah. Yeah. 1881 01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:54,407 Oh. Yeah. 1882 01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,050 Like the cat. My father... Yeah. 1883 01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:57,724 "I hate Mondays!" 1884 01:15:58,080 --> 01:15:59,764 "I hate Mondays!" 1885 01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:01,285 "I love lasagna!" 1886 01:16:05,440 --> 01:16:09,206 Do some cat stuff real quick. Be sarcastic or lick yourself. 1887 01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:12,801 Okay. All right. 1888 01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:21,322 I love fucking with you when you high, man. 1889 01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:28,765 Get the hell out of here. 1890 01:16:28,840 --> 01:16:32,003 Everybody out! Hootie-hoo! Let's go! 1891 01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:35,130 All right, fellas, get a move on. Hootie-hoo! 1892 01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:38,170 What the fuck is wrong with you, man? What the... 1893 01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,521 That was, like, a distraction so they couldn't see what was going on. 1894 01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:41,601 Grow up! It worked. Okay. Okay. 1895 01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,160 Yeah. There wasn't anything behind it. 1896 01:16:43,184 --> 01:16:44,265 You used so much tongue! 1897 01:16:44,440 --> 01:16:46,204 Upstairs clear! 1898 01:16:51,480 --> 01:16:54,324 Hey. Do not let anyone upstairs, you got me? 1899 01:16:54,480 --> 01:16:56,050 Yes, sir. 1900 01:17:04,880 --> 01:17:06,370 Holy fuck. 1901 01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:12,009 What was that? 1902 01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:15,130 Shaggy, Scooby, Jizzface, let's investigate! 1903 01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:19,209 It's open. It's open. 1904 01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:33,164 He's right there! He's right there! 1905 01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:34,960 What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? 1906 01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:36,809 We got to get him out of there! Distraction. 1907 01:17:36,920 --> 01:17:37,921 Okay, distraction. What? What do we do? 1908 01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:39,081 Distraction, distraction. 1909 01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:40,844 I'm gonna jump off the balcony. What? 1910 01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:45,047 No. no, Why? Why? No! What? 1911 01:17:46,280 --> 01:17:48,009 Oh, God! 1912 01:17:50,480 --> 01:17:52,687 Fuck! Shit, shit. Go! 1913 01:17:55,440 --> 01:17:56,805 What the fuck? 1914 01:18:00,440 --> 01:18:01,441 Nice. He's gone. 1915 01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:02,647 He's gone. 1916 01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:05,723 Come on, come on! Damn it! 1917 01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:07,803 One, two, three? 1918 01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:08,880 No! 1919 01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:11,526 Oh, God! Oh, God! 1920 01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:13,045 My God, Jesus! 1921 01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:14,246 What the hell, bro? 1922 01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:15,446 What up, Teddy? 1923 01:18:15,560 --> 01:18:16,607 What the fuck? 1924 01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:17,681 "Boobs" upside down! 1925 01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:19,922 I can't do "boob." I can do "Bob." 1926 01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:21,843 I can do "cock." I can do "C-O-K." 1927 01:18:21,920 --> 01:18:22,920 Sixty-nine? 1928 01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:24,280 Sixty-nine? There's three numbers! 1929 01:18:24,353 --> 01:18:26,355 What other stupid number combinations are there? 1930 01:18:26,673 --> 01:18:29,882 I'll never talk! I'm unbreakable! 1931 01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:31,166 Jesus! 1932 01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:33,248 I'm not a distraction. 1933 01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:35,287 It's a distraction? 1934 01:18:35,480 --> 01:18:36,481 No! No! 1935 01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:39,484 I got it, I got it. I got it. 1936 01:18:42,880 --> 01:18:43,927 Four-twenty? 1937 01:18:44,040 --> 01:18:45,041 Victory. 1938 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:46,480 Boom! Yes! 1939 01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:48,642 Yes! Yes! Yes! 1940 01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:51,962 Yes. I'm gonna kill you. 1941 01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:54,330 Go, go. Okay. 1942 01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:57,248 Don't open this door no matter what you hear! 1943 01:18:57,800 --> 01:18:58,926 TEDDY; This is it. 1944 01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:00,923 Mano y mano. 1945 01:19:01,080 --> 01:19:02,809 You are not getting through this door. 1946 01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:05,167 Jesus. Okay. 1947 01:19:06,760 --> 01:19:08,524 Fuck, these kids locked everything! 1948 01:19:08,600 --> 01:19:09,600 God damn it. 1949 01:19:09,680 --> 01:19:11,921 I've been wanting this. I've got your number. 1950 01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:13,331 Ready? 1951 01:19:13,480 --> 01:19:14,880 Yeah, I'm ready. Are you ready, huh? 1952 01:19:14,904 --> 01:19:15,904 Oh? 1953 01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:17,001 Oh? Huh? 1954 01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:19,446 Old man. Oh, my nuts! 1955 01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:21,011 Why the fuck do you keep fighting? 1956 01:19:25,520 --> 01:19:26,965 Yes, that felt good! 1957 01:19:27,360 --> 01:19:28,600 I hit him, Kelly! Fuck! 1958 01:19:29,200 --> 01:19:31,601 Oh. yeah! 1959 01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,523 Okay, let's just relax for a second. 1960 01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:38,681 Baby, let me in! 1961 01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:42,128 I can't let you in yet. I haven't figured out how to open it! 1962 01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:43,201 Okay, fuck me! 1963 01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:49,527 Stay! 1964 01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:54,567 What the fuck? 1965 01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:58,001 How'd you even do that? 1966 01:19:58,120 --> 01:19:59,121 No idea. 1967 01:19:59,280 --> 01:20:01,169 Come here! No! 1968 01:20:02,160 --> 01:20:03,286 What the fuck? Damn it! 1969 01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:04,845 Who still has waterbeds? 1970 01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:20,681 Let's do this shit. 1971 01:20:27,560 --> 01:20:28,925 Suck my dick! 1972 01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:31,565 Suck my dick. 1973 01:20:35,400 --> 01:20:36,640 Yeah, suck it! Suck my dick. 1974 01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:38,000 No, no! 1975 01:20:42,120 --> 01:20:44,248 So gross! Ew! 1976 01:20:44,760 --> 01:20:46,728 That was very immature! 1977 01:20:51,920 --> 01:20:53,001 I'm Batman! 1978 01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:55,364 Oh! Fuck! 1979 01:20:57,440 --> 01:20:58,521 I'm Batman! 1980 01:21:00,520 --> 01:21:01,760 Ahhh! 1981 01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:03,281 Oh, shit! 1982 01:21:04,440 --> 01:21:05,726 Fuck me! 1983 01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:16,321 God damn it! 1984 01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:21,286 Good luck with all your problems, officer. 1985 01:21:21,640 --> 01:21:22,846 Really. 1986 01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:33,485 Get off of me! 1987 01:21:33,800 --> 01:21:34,926 God damn it! 1988 01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:36,926 No, no, no! Yeah! 1989 01:21:38,320 --> 01:21:39,401 Oh, shit! 1990 01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:40,641 Kelly! 1991 01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:42,446 Kelly, honey. 1992 01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:45,084 He's coming. Kelly, it's over! 1993 01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:47,251 Kelly, he's coming! 1994 01:21:47,360 --> 01:21:49,328 Fuck! Shit! 1995 01:21:50,080 --> 01:21:51,650 So long, neighbor. 1996 01:22:03,320 --> 01:22:06,290 I need backup at 2203 West Olmstead! 1997 01:22:06,880 --> 01:22:09,565 Delta Psi is attacking me! I'm under fire right now! 1998 01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:10,766 I need backup! Over! 1999 01:22:11,960 --> 01:22:13,291 Well played, motherfuckers. 2000 01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:14,640 What the fuck are you looking at? 2001 01:22:14,664 --> 01:22:16,024 What the fuck are y'all looking at? 2002 01:22:17,320 --> 01:22:19,163 Well played. What the fuck? 2003 01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,326 You can't tell anyone I showed you this. Okay, baby? 2004 01:22:23,400 --> 01:22:24,520 Oh, my God. Shut up, Scoonie. 2005 01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:25,681 I'm sorry, baby. 2006 01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:33,691 No, guys! Hey, hey! 2007 01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,207 Oh, shit! 2008 01:22:35,280 --> 01:22:36,406 Holy shit! 2009 01:22:36,520 --> 01:22:37,726 My brothers need me. 2010 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,081 Holy shit. 2011 01:23:00,480 --> 01:23:02,482 Holy shit! Did you break your leg? 2012 01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:04,725 Baby broke his leg! 2013 01:23:04,800 --> 01:23:06,643 I'm not a baby. 2014 01:23:06,720 --> 01:23:08,404 Oh, no? I'm a fucking man! 2015 01:23:08,480 --> 01:23:10,084 My God, Jimmy! 2016 01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:11,725 He's so light. He's all dick. 2017 01:23:11,840 --> 01:23:13,080 Thank you. 2018 01:23:13,680 --> 01:23:15,648 Keep your dick away from my wife! 2019 01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:18,885 YOLO! 2020 01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:22,645 This is who I am. 2021 01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:25,448 Jimmy fuckin' Blevitz. 2022 01:23:26,520 --> 01:23:27,601 You want this? 2023 01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:30,251 Oh, my leg. 2024 01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:34,766 Let's make a baby. 2025 01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:38,040 That'll solve all our problems. 2026 01:23:38,064 --> 01:23:39,111 Yeah. 2027 01:23:46,200 --> 01:23:47,361 We are fucked, man. 2028 01:23:47,680 --> 01:23:49,091 Yeah. We're fucked, man. 2029 01:23:49,720 --> 01:23:52,371 I guess we're all going down in a blaze of glory, huh? 2030 01:23:52,440 --> 01:23:55,250 What? No way, man. Get out of here. 2031 01:23:55,320 --> 01:23:57,129 Dude, all that shit I was saying the other day 2032 01:23:57,280 --> 01:23:59,044 about you and the fraternity... 2033 01:23:59,120 --> 01:24:01,088 Fuck that, all right? I was out of line, man. 2034 01:24:01,160 --> 01:24:02,161 This stuff is important. 2035 01:24:02,280 --> 01:24:03,327 I know. 2036 01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:06,643 Regardless of anything, we're brothers for life. 2037 01:24:06,720 --> 01:24:09,041 This is on me. I took it too far. 2038 01:24:09,160 --> 01:24:10,685 That's why you got to go. 2039 01:24:10,760 --> 01:24:12,560 You got a bright future, kid. 2040 01:24:12,584 --> 01:24:14,154 You're the smartest person I know. 2041 01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:15,851 I'm the President of a fraternity. 2042 01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:17,680 You could be President of the United Nations. 2043 01:24:17,704 --> 01:24:19,608 There is no President of the United Nations. 2044 01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:22,809 Yeah, but see, that's my fucking point! You know shit like that, man! 2045 01:24:22,880 --> 01:24:23,961 This is all my fault. 2046 01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:25,167 You're not taking the heat for this. 2047 01:24:25,240 --> 01:24:26,321 I fucking will, man. 2048 01:24:26,680 --> 01:24:28,523 Brothers don't get divorced. Yeah, I know. 2049 01:24:28,680 --> 01:24:30,967 I'm a supernova. Burn bright, die young. 2050 01:24:31,120 --> 01:24:32,326 I fucking love you, man. 2051 01:24:32,520 --> 01:24:34,488 I love you, dawg. I love you. 2052 01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:36,924 I fucking love you, man. Get out of here. 2053 01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:39,367 Be in this moment! Live in this shit with me! 2054 01:24:40,480 --> 01:24:41,925 I love you! I love you, too, man. 2055 01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:43,127 I love you! 2056 01:24:43,280 --> 01:24:44,805 I fucking love you, Pete. I love you! 2057 01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:49,928 I love you, too, but... Get out of here, man! Just go! 2058 01:24:51,680 --> 01:24:53,170 Delta Psi. 2059 01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:54,770 Delta Psi, man. All right? 2060 01:24:56,960 --> 01:24:59,042 Go! Get the brothers out of here now, man! 2061 01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:00,565 Go. go! All right! Hey! 2062 01:25:00,640 --> 01:25:04,281 T-Bone, Gerbil, Jizzface, let's get the fuck out of here! Let's go! 2063 01:25:13,760 --> 01:25:15,489 Delta Psi forever! 2064 01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:18,884 Delta Psi this shit! 2065 01:25:19,080 --> 01:25:22,641 You've been a bad boy. I'm gonna spank you. 2066 01:25:42,040 --> 01:25:43,246 That's our baby. 2067 01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:45,165 She's so sweet. 2068 01:25:45,560 --> 01:25:46,641 Look at her. 2069 01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:50,965 We're a family. 2070 01:25:51,640 --> 01:25:53,085 We are. 2071 01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:57,686 I love you. 2072 01:26:07,400 --> 01:26:09,129 Holy shit. That was close. 2073 01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:11,280 I could not deal with that right now. Fuck, no way. 2074 01:26:11,360 --> 01:26:12,771 Jesus. I'm exhausted. 2075 01:26:12,920 --> 01:26:14,888 That would be a fucking disaster. Oh, Jesus. 2076 01:26:15,160 --> 01:26:16,161 We did it! 2077 01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:17,605 We did it. We fucking did it. 2078 01:26:17,680 --> 01:26:18,761 We did it. 2079 01:26:18,880 --> 01:26:20,080 We did it. 2080 01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:21,281 Come on. 2081 01:26:21,440 --> 01:26:22,566 We fucking did that shit. 2082 01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:24,529 We totally did it. 2083 01:26:24,680 --> 01:26:28,730 I think I was near one of those oil drums for too long. 2084 01:26:29,440 --> 01:26:31,761 I think I might be really quite stoned. 2085 01:26:31,840 --> 01:26:33,001 Me, too. 2086 01:26:34,040 --> 01:26:35,121 Life's crazy. 2087 01:26:35,240 --> 01:26:36,287 It is crazy. 2088 01:26:36,360 --> 01:26:38,283 I milked you. 2089 01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:41,603 You're a human being, and I fucking milked you. 2090 01:26:42,520 --> 01:26:45,729 We made a baby. Things have changed. Everything has changed. 2091 01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:47,360 Part of our life is just totally over. 2092 01:26:47,384 --> 01:26:48,406 Yeah. 2093 01:26:48,480 --> 01:26:50,209 Just gone. Yeah. 2094 01:26:50,280 --> 01:26:52,169 It's never coming back. No. 2095 01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:56,643 We'll never not be responsible for someone until we're so, so old. 2096 01:26:57,480 --> 01:27:00,563 I think I like old people shit better than young people shit now. 2097 01:27:00,640 --> 01:27:01,801 I love brunch. 2098 01:27:01,960 --> 01:27:03,041 Oh, it's the best! 2099 01:27:03,120 --> 01:27:06,488 And I get really excited when I smell freshly ground coffee. 2100 01:27:06,560 --> 01:27:07,846 Me, too, because it's awesome. 2101 01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:10,287 Like, way too excited. 2102 01:27:10,360 --> 01:27:12,442 I want a tomato garden. How's that? 2103 01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:15,729 I love going to The Container Store and buying containers. 2104 01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:16,881 Me, too. 2105 01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:19,685 I love our hand soap that's shaped like seashells. 2106 01:27:19,760 --> 01:27:20,886 Why? 2107 01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:22,081 It smells like lemongrass. 2108 01:27:22,160 --> 01:27:23,685 Me, too. 2109 01:27:23,800 --> 01:27:26,041 Do you think we'll be good parents? 2110 01:27:26,120 --> 01:27:28,964 I think we'll be good at it and bad at it. 2111 01:27:30,200 --> 01:27:32,487 Whoa! 2112 01:27:33,440 --> 01:27:37,001 You know, when we had Stella, I was afraid of missing the party, 2113 01:27:37,080 --> 01:27:40,402 but then I realized that we are the party. 2114 01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:43,088 This is the only party I want to be at. 2115 01:27:44,720 --> 01:27:46,165 You're gonna make me cry. 2116 01:27:46,280 --> 01:27:47,611 Don't cry. 2117 01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:53,091 Oh, my God. 2118 01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:56,330 Where did you get that? 2119 01:27:57,360 --> 01:27:59,522 I brought it into bed with us. 2120 01:28:01,240 --> 01:28:03,163 I also got some ranch dipping sauce. 2121 01:28:04,200 --> 01:28:05,884 Oh, my God. Mmm-hmm. 2122 01:28:05,960 --> 01:28:07,530 That's the best idea. 2123 01:28:07,600 --> 01:28:08,806 Yeah. 2124 01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:11,206 Mmm! 2125 01:28:17,800 --> 01:28:19,370 Welcome to Abercrombie. 2126 01:28:19,720 --> 01:28:21,643 Come inside. Check out some board shorts. 2127 01:28:22,200 --> 01:28:23,770 Hey, Mac! 2128 01:28:24,760 --> 01:28:25,807 Hey, dude. What's up, man? 2129 01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:27,000 What up, man? How's it going? 2130 01:28:27,040 --> 01:28:28,520 Good to see you. Good to see you, too. 2131 01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:29,960 You're one of those guys! 2132 01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:31,280 I am, yeah. Yeah. 2133 01:28:31,360 --> 01:28:33,249 It's a pretty good gig. Yeah. 2134 01:28:33,320 --> 01:28:35,720 You'd be surprised, I actually meet a shit-ton of girls here. 2135 01:28:35,744 --> 01:28:36,761 Not that surprised. 2136 01:28:36,840 --> 01:28:38,251 Your body basically looks like a giant arrow 2137 01:28:38,400 --> 01:28:39,731 pointing right towards your dick. 2138 01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:41,768 Oh, my God. Thank you. No problem, man. 2139 01:28:41,840 --> 01:28:43,808 I think that's a compliment. It is a compliment. 2140 01:28:43,920 --> 01:28:45,126 We went nuts. 2141 01:28:45,240 --> 01:28:46,446 It escalated very quickly. 2142 01:28:46,520 --> 01:28:49,763 It escalated to a really crazy place. That was really nuts, man. 2143 01:28:50,360 --> 01:28:51,850 How are the guys? 2144 01:28:51,920 --> 01:28:53,920 They're all great. They got a big house off campus. 2145 01:28:53,944 --> 01:28:56,684 Pete's a fancy architect, designing buildings and stuff. 2146 01:28:56,760 --> 01:28:59,206 How's the rest of post-college life treating you? 2147 01:28:59,280 --> 01:29:00,930 It's good, man. I'm having fun. 2148 01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:03,844 I realize I probably should have studied a little bit more. 2149 01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,251 Little bit. 2150 01:29:05,360 --> 01:29:08,921 But I'm going to night school to get my degree, so... 2151 01:29:09,000 --> 01:29:10,764 Awesome, man. Yeah. 2152 01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:13,682 Well, it's still really good to see you, man. 2153 01:29:13,760 --> 01:29:14,880 Great to see you too, buddy. 2154 01:29:14,920 --> 01:29:16,320 All right, brother. Good to see you. 2155 01:29:16,439 --> 01:29:17,725 Bring it in for the real thing. 2156 01:29:17,799 --> 01:29:19,608 Nice, okay. Good to see you, dude. 2157 01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:21,603 You know what? While I'm here... 2158 01:29:22,560 --> 01:29:24,130 I've always wanted to do this. 2159 01:29:24,480 --> 01:29:27,086 All right. Wow, you're really going for it. 2160 01:29:27,160 --> 01:29:28,730 I'm doing it. Oh, man. 2161 01:29:28,840 --> 01:29:32,731 So, is it our posture? Why do we look so different? 2162 01:29:32,800 --> 01:29:34,040 I don't know, man. Just be free. 2163 01:29:34,064 --> 01:29:35,405 Just kind of let it out. Okay. 2164 01:29:35,480 --> 01:29:36,641 I feel free. 2165 01:29:39,720 --> 01:29:42,405 Welcome to Abercrombie & Fitch. Can we take your order? 2166 01:29:42,520 --> 01:29:43,760 Welcome to Abercrombie & Fitch. 2167 01:29:43,784 --> 01:29:45,842 Abercrombie, Fitch. 2168 01:29:45,920 --> 01:29:47,206 Welcome to Abercrombie & Fitch. How you doing? 2169 01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:48,520 Can we take your order? 2170 01:29:48,600 --> 01:29:50,045 We're a great team. Thanks. 2171 01:29:50,120 --> 01:29:51,560 You make the store more approachable. 2172 01:29:52,120 --> 01:29:53,565 What does that mean? 2173 01:29:54,680 --> 01:29:56,762 It's like, I make... 2174 01:29:56,840 --> 01:29:59,207 I'm a more obtainable goal. 2175 01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:00,960 Yeah, you're like the relaxed-fit jean guy. 2176 01:30:00,984 --> 01:30:02,668 Yeah. I'm the relaxed-fit jeans. 2177 01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:08,887 I made some blue meth. It's Gatorade. 2178 01:30:08,960 --> 01:30:10,086 Oh, perfect! Great. 2179 01:30:10,160 --> 01:30:11,525 She's all ready to go. 2180 01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:13,568 This is gonna be the best calendar yet. 2181 01:30:13,640 --> 01:30:14,766 Look at that, sweetie. 2182 01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:16,285 All right. Let's do it. 2183 01:30:16,360 --> 01:30:18,283 Who's my little Heisenberg? You are! 2184 01:30:18,360 --> 01:30:19,486 She's a little meth head. 2185 01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:20,721 No, she just makes it. 2186 01:30:20,800 --> 01:30:22,086 Oh... 2187 01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:26,169 - Hey. Look who it is. - What's up, dude? 2188 01:30:26,480 --> 01:30:28,050 We're at Burning Man! 2189 01:30:28,160 --> 01:30:29,764 Burning Man! 2190 01:30:29,840 --> 01:30:31,001 Hey! 2191 01:30:31,160 --> 01:30:32,366 You guys should come here. 2192 01:30:32,520 --> 01:30:34,363 Bring Stella! You can bring kids! Bring Stella! 2193 01:30:34,520 --> 01:30:36,761 No. No, we're making a Stella calendar. 2194 01:30:36,840 --> 01:30:38,000 Yeah, we got six months left. 2195 01:30:38,040 --> 01:30:39,480 She's Heisenberg. She's Walter White. 2196 01:30:39,504 --> 01:30:41,202 See'? You're such a lame-o! 2197 01:30:41,320 --> 01:30:43,243 Don't be so fucking lame! Totally lame. 2198 01:30:43,320 --> 01:30:44,321 It's awesome! 2199 01:30:44,400 --> 01:30:45,765 It only gets better and better! 2200 01:30:45,880 --> 01:30:49,089 I feel completely comfortable missing that party. Okay. 2201 01:30:49,600 --> 01:30:51,284 - We gotta go, okay? - We gotta go. 2202 01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:54,011 Yeah, have a good one. Try not to die. 2203 01:30:54,080 --> 01:30:55,366 What should we do next? 2204 01:30:55,440 --> 01:30:57,000 - Don Draper. Yeah. - Yeah, Don Draper. 2205 01:30:57,040 --> 01:30:58,724 Let's get the leading men out of the way. 2206 01:30:59,760 --> 01:31:01,364 I love you. I love you. 2207 01:31:02,560 --> 01:31:04,005 We love you. We love you. 2208 01:31:04,080 --> 01:31:05,764 Little Walter White. Baby. 2209 01:36:35,800 --> 01:36:38,804 Sof hamisschak. It means "game over." 2209 01:36:39,305 --> 01:36:45,709 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org158639