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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,254 --> 00:00:01,786 Okay, honey, doorbell's installed. 2 00:00:01,855 --> 00:00:04,154 - How's it sound? - Welcome to hell! 3 00:00:05,724 --> 00:00:07,724 That is so cute! 4 00:00:07,792 --> 00:00:09,826 Can you come in here and help me with this web? 5 00:00:09,928 --> 00:00:11,961 Sorry, gotta fly. 6 00:00:12,063 --> 00:00:13,596 I'm gonna do that one again when there's more people around. 7 00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,732 Okay. So, you got to put that up on the hook 8 00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:18,201 because the trick-or-treaters are gonna be here any minute. 9 00:00:18,303 --> 00:00:19,335 I'm caught. 10 00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:20,503 Don't pull. It's just gonna get... 11 00:00:20,605 --> 00:00:22,472 ...worse. 12 00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:24,440 - No, I can... - N... Stop moving. 13 00:00:24,509 --> 00:00:25,708 I'm gonna get some scissors. 14 00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:32,415 Hey, Jerry. 15 00:00:32,517 --> 00:00:33,549 What's wrong? 16 00:00:34,645 --> 00:00:36,145 When? 17 00:00:36,247 --> 00:00:37,747 How? 18 00:00:37,839 --> 00:00:39,238 Thank God you're back. 19 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,374 There's a real spider in here, and it's getting closer. 20 00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:43,876 That was Jerry, my mom's husband. 21 00:00:43,945 --> 00:00:46,712 - Is everything okay? - No. 22 00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:48,714 - My mom's dead. - What? 23 00:00:59,194 --> 00:01:04,194 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 24 00:01:06,117 --> 00:01:07,475 I can't believe Nana's gone. 25 00:01:07,551 --> 00:01:10,184 If God really is an old white guy, 26 00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:11,250 he's about to get an earful. 27 00:01:11,254 --> 00:01:12,586 My God, Claire. 28 00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:14,021 Mitchell. 29 00:01:15,491 --> 00:01:17,191 Wait, can you... 30 00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:18,260 - I think... - I don't know how to... 31 00:01:18,361 --> 00:01:20,594 Help. Please help. Thank you. 32 00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:25,833 All right. 33 00:01:25,902 --> 00:01:26,967 Who are you supposed to be? 34 00:01:27,036 --> 00:01:28,436 I'm Pr... I'm Prince Harry. 35 00:01:28,504 --> 00:01:30,070 Does that mean Cam is... 36 00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:32,573 Hear ye, hear ye, 37 00:01:32,641 --> 00:01:35,476 presenting the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan... 38 00:01:35,578 --> 00:01:36,777 No, no, no, no, no. That was for Pepper's party. 39 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:39,713 We're not doing that anymore. Go console your cousins. 40 00:01:39,815 --> 00:01:41,381 - Hey. - Sweetie. 41 00:01:41,484 --> 00:01:44,084 - Let me get in there. - Hang on. 42 00:01:44,153 --> 00:01:45,842 - All right, get up. - I had the same issue with this. 43 00:01:45,877 --> 00:01:46,920 - Just... - Okay, there it is. 44 00:01:47,017 --> 00:01:48,450 Sweetie. 45 00:01:48,552 --> 00:01:50,885 - Who needs a drink? - I do. 46 00:01:50,954 --> 00:01:53,254 Okay, how are we gonna handle this? 47 00:01:53,357 --> 00:01:54,422 You mean because the two most 48 00:01:54,524 --> 00:01:56,925 emotionally complicated people on earth are facing the loss 49 00:01:57,027 --> 00:01:59,060 of the most complicated relationship of their lives? 50 00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:01,730 So...not an edible arrangement. 51 00:02:01,832 --> 00:02:03,064 We just have to be there for them. 52 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,332 Whatever they need. I... 53 00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:05,767 It just feels inappropriate 54 00:02:05,869 --> 00:02:07,769 - being dressed like this. - Yeah. 55 00:02:07,871 --> 00:02:10,305 I should be in something darker with a cap sleeve. 56 00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,776 This is so surreal. I-I can't believe this. 57 00:02:14,878 --> 00:02:17,112 I-I just talked to her right before she left. 58 00:02:17,214 --> 00:02:18,780 She was so excited about her trip to Greenland 59 00:02:18,882 --> 00:02:19,948 with her women's group. 60 00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:21,282 Still no word on what happened? 61 00:02:21,385 --> 00:02:22,617 No. Jerry called. 62 00:02:22,719 --> 00:02:24,052 He said that she had a heart problem 63 00:02:24,154 --> 00:02:25,286 she didn't want to talk about, 64 00:02:25,389 --> 00:02:26,955 but we're still not sure if that's it. 65 00:02:27,057 --> 00:02:29,124 He did promise to reach out as soon as he has some answers. 66 00:02:29,226 --> 00:02:31,526 Well, we're here to support you in any way we can. 67 00:02:31,628 --> 00:02:34,195 Yeah. Anything you need, anything at all, we're on it. 68 00:02:34,297 --> 00:02:35,930 - Soup? - Tissues? 69 00:02:36,033 --> 00:02:37,866 Try this meditation exercise. 70 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:41,536 Yeah, no, you guys are being so sweet. I just... 71 00:02:41,638 --> 00:02:43,538 Yeah, but w-we cope with things 72 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,974 a little less touchy-feely and a little more... 73 00:02:46,076 --> 00:02:48,043 - Irish. Yes. - Right. Right. 74 00:02:48,145 --> 00:02:50,278 You know, have some drinks, tell some funny stories. 75 00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:53,148 Do you remember the time Mom was so mad 76 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:55,316 because "Laverne and Shirley" moved to California? 77 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,420 Or, no, remember how she used to always 78 00:02:58,522 --> 00:02:59,754 bring her own ice cubes to restaurants? 79 00:02:59,856 --> 00:03:01,423 God, yes! 80 00:03:01,525 --> 00:03:04,159 Remember when she got thrown out of Scientology? 81 00:03:06,863 --> 00:03:08,596 Our mother is dead, Phil. 82 00:03:08,699 --> 00:03:09,931 I-I thought we were... 83 00:03:10,033 --> 00:03:12,067 Maybe you should just give us a little space? 84 00:03:12,169 --> 00:03:14,436 - Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure. - Of course. Yes. Sure. 85 00:03:14,538 --> 00:03:16,438 You know, I don't know how we all feel about the afterlife, 86 00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:18,940 but I myself would like to imagine Dede 87 00:03:19,042 --> 00:03:20,942 surrounded by loved ones, hearing... 88 00:03:21,044 --> 00:03:23,344 Welcome to hell! 89 00:03:23,447 --> 00:03:26,414 - I'll disconnect that doorbell. - God. 90 00:03:26,516 --> 00:03:27,916 Hey. 91 00:03:28,018 --> 00:03:29,751 We were out trick-or-treating with the kids. 92 00:03:29,853 --> 00:03:31,252 - Dad. - We left Joe with Manny, 93 00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:32,587 and we came as soon as we heard. 94 00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:33,822 So sorry. 95 00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:35,657 - Come here, you two. Get in here. - Thanks, Dad. 96 00:03:35,759 --> 00:03:37,659 Yeah. I know. You just have to... Yeah. 97 00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:41,162 Look, I know that your mother and I had our differences, 98 00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:42,497 but she was a good woman. 99 00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:43,599 Yeah. 100 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,167 She... 101 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,503 Yeah, she had great legs. 102 00:03:48,605 --> 00:03:49,838 Really? That's your tribute? 103 00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:51,840 Of course not. She was very educated, 104 00:03:51,942 --> 00:03:53,041 as she often told me. 105 00:03:53,143 --> 00:03:56,211 She, um...... 106 00:03:56,313 --> 00:03:57,545 She... 107 00:03:57,647 --> 00:03:58,813 I can't watch this. 108 00:03:58,915 --> 00:04:01,149 It's like watching a fish panic at the bottom of a boat. 109 00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:03,651 She... she gave you us, your wonderful children. 110 00:04:03,754 --> 00:04:07,122 There you go. And for that I will always be grateful. 111 00:04:07,224 --> 00:04:09,491 Yeah. We have so much to be grateful for. 112 00:04:09,593 --> 00:04:12,160 She was a wonderful mother. 113 00:04:12,262 --> 00:04:14,662 And I'm... I am so glad that I was able to tell her that 114 00:04:14,765 --> 00:04:16,998 during our last call. And I didn't know it at the time, 115 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:21,503 but in a lot of ways, it was the perfect goodbye. 116 00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,206 Do we know what happened? 117 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,542 Not yet, no. But you know what? 118 00:04:27,644 --> 00:04:30,879 - I need to be around happy things... - Yeah. 119 00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:33,214 ...cute kids in costumes trick-or-treating. 120 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:34,816 I'm gonna go hand out some Halloween candy. 121 00:04:34,918 --> 00:04:36,818 - I'm good! Good, good! - I'm... I'm coming with you. 122 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,986 - I'm good. - We're good. 123 00:04:38,088 --> 00:04:39,154 Nah. 124 00:04:39,256 --> 00:04:40,989 You make plans, 125 00:04:41,091 --> 00:04:42,891 the universe steps in and says "nope." 126 00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:45,226 - Life is so unfair. - Damn right. 127 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,729 I just waited in a line around the block 128 00:04:47,831 --> 00:04:49,564 for a hoagie everybody's talking about. 129 00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:51,566 Then my ex-wife drops dead, 130 00:04:51,668 --> 00:04:54,235 and I'm too sad to eat it. 131 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,737 I'll give it another hour. 132 00:04:55,839 --> 00:05:00,241 I'm so sorry for your loss, Jay. 133 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,278 I don't know why I thought getting this out would help. 134 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:04,779 What is that? 135 00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:07,615 Nana had these little statues of herself made. 136 00:05:07,717 --> 00:05:09,517 They were her Christmas gift to each of us. 137 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:12,520 Now I feel better about my stupid well in Africa. 138 00:05:12,622 --> 00:05:14,856 Hey. Hitting that candy pretty hard. 139 00:05:14,958 --> 00:05:16,624 You didn't even take the wrapper off the last one. 140 00:05:16,726 --> 00:05:18,059 I'm sad. Shut up. 141 00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:20,061 I heard that if you die on Halloween, 142 00:05:20,163 --> 00:05:22,230 you come back as a zombie. 143 00:05:22,299 --> 00:05:23,531 I can see that. 144 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,666 Nana would be all, 145 00:05:24,768 --> 00:05:27,135 "Braaainnssss! 146 00:05:27,204 --> 00:05:28,269 Nope. Braaainnsss!" 147 00:05:28,338 --> 00:05:30,638 Uch! 148 00:05:31,741 --> 00:05:33,274 I just remember Nana... 149 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,343 when we were little, she would... 150 00:05:35,445 --> 00:05:36,978 She would... 151 00:05:37,047 --> 00:05:38,880 My God! What is wrong with you two?! 152 00:05:38,982 --> 00:05:41,282 - What? - Our grandmother just died. 153 00:05:41,351 --> 00:05:42,917 Luke's over here making tasteless jokes, 154 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:46,354 and you're stuffing your face. Show some respect! 155 00:05:46,422 --> 00:05:49,924 I am so sorry, what happened to your grandmother. 156 00:05:50,026 --> 00:05:51,659 She was a wonderful woman. 157 00:05:51,761 --> 00:05:53,260 Thank you, Gloria. 158 00:05:53,329 --> 00:05:55,696 Finally, someone with a normal reaction. 159 00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:58,132 Didn't Nana try to strangle you three times? 160 00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:00,100 Yeah, but one of those times, 161 00:06:00,169 --> 00:06:02,369 I was able to see again my favorite abuela 162 00:06:02,471 --> 00:06:03,671 for one second. 163 00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:06,240 So I really should thank Dede. 164 00:06:06,342 --> 00:06:09,977 Anyways, any issues that your grandmother had with me, 165 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,245 they're behind her. 166 00:06:11,347 --> 00:06:14,014 She's at peace. She's living in a better place. 167 00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:15,649 What the hell is that?! 168 00:06:15,718 --> 00:06:18,018 Pretty lifelike, right? Christmas gift from Nana. 169 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,820 It's very cute. 170 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:23,257 But it's amazing how her eyes are... 171 00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:25,959 are following me wherever I go! 172 00:06:26,191 --> 00:06:27,924 I know that this is going to sound crazy, 173 00:06:27,993 --> 00:06:30,860 but I have always worried that when Dede died, 174 00:06:30,929 --> 00:06:33,630 she was going to come back and haunt me. 175 00:06:33,732 --> 00:06:36,545 Maybe it's because she whispered it to me at my wedding. 176 00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:38,663 Happy Halloween. 177 00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:44,478 Cute. You okay? 178 00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:45,613 Yeah, I was just thinking about 179 00:06:45,715 --> 00:06:47,581 this great Halloween with Mom. 180 00:06:49,085 --> 00:06:51,285 I wasn't really fitting in in high school, 181 00:06:51,354 --> 00:06:53,888 so Mom took me to go get ice cream 182 00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:56,524 at this place i-in West Hollywood. 183 00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:57,725 And the parade was going on. 184 00:06:57,827 --> 00:07:00,961 And before that, I had never been to a gay event. 185 00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,429 Trick or treat! 186 00:07:02,532 --> 00:07:05,165 Here you go. Happy Halloween. 187 00:07:05,268 --> 00:07:06,500 The thing is, 188 00:07:06,602 --> 00:07:08,402 she didn't force me to talk about it. 189 00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:09,737 She just let it be. You know? 190 00:07:09,839 --> 00:07:11,572 And I-I think that that was her way of saying 191 00:07:11,674 --> 00:07:13,940 that she was okay with me. 192 00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:15,586 I remember once Mom told me 193 00:07:15,688 --> 00:07:18,689 that I ate ice cream like a prostitute. 194 00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:20,357 Ugghh, come on. 195 00:07:20,459 --> 00:07:21,525 Wh-Why haven't we heard anything yet 196 00:07:21,627 --> 00:07:23,827 about what happened to her? This is ridiculous! 197 00:07:23,929 --> 00:07:25,662 I know. It's bad enough we lost our mom. 198 00:07:25,764 --> 00:07:28,665 Now we just have to sit here expecting the worst. 199 00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:30,167 Heyyy. 200 00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:31,501 Heard some raised voices, 201 00:07:31,604 --> 00:07:32,669 - just making... - Where have you guys been? 202 00:07:32,671 --> 00:07:33,770 Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed, 203 00:07:33,872 --> 00:07:35,105 but we're kind of going through something today. 204 00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:36,940 Well, you s-said you wanted some space, 205 00:07:37,042 --> 00:07:38,942 - so we were giving you... - So now you're gonna logic us to death? 206 00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:41,144 Yeah, yeah, 'cause that's what we need right now. 207 00:07:43,061 --> 00:07:44,694 I am totally confused 208 00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:46,963 - about what we're supposed to do. - No. I have an idea. 209 00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:49,399 Mitchell was just talking about a great memory he had 210 00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:51,968 of Dede taking him for ice cream in West Hollywood. 211 00:07:52,037 --> 00:07:54,837 We could go pick some up... it would be a perfect tribute. 212 00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:56,305 That's great. 213 00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:58,441 Plus, I don't know why, but there's... 214 00:07:58,510 --> 00:08:00,710 there's something about the way Claire eats ice cream 215 00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:03,579 that I just... enjoy. 216 00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:05,158 I just wish I could remember the name of it. 217 00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:06,960 - I'm on it. Anderson Scooper? - No. 218 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,228 Priscilla Queen of the Desserts? 219 00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:09,863 - Mnh-mnh. - Sherbert and Ernie? 220 00:08:09,932 --> 00:08:11,665 Mnh-mnh. It was something very specific. 221 00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:13,700 West Hollywood Ice Cream Shop? 222 00:08:13,769 --> 00:08:15,969 - That's it. Let's go. - This can't be happening. 223 00:08:16,071 --> 00:08:18,705 Aw, Jay, it's a hard day. 224 00:08:18,774 --> 00:08:19,873 Tell me. 225 00:08:19,942 --> 00:08:21,842 I put a sandwich in there with my name on it 226 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,177 10 minutes ago, and now it's missing. 227 00:08:24,347 --> 00:08:26,547 - Who the hell took it?! - Really? On a day like today, 228 00:08:26,616 --> 00:08:28,849 you can get this worked up over a sandwich? 229 00:08:28,918 --> 00:08:30,451 Come here. 230 00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,119 Yeah. Hey. It's okay. 231 00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:34,722 You're smelling us. 232 00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:36,523 I smell guilt and pickles. 233 00:08:38,339 --> 00:08:39,872 Aah! 234 00:08:39,941 --> 00:08:41,340 Sorry, fireman habit. 235 00:08:41,442 --> 00:08:42,808 Your mom said you were up here. 236 00:08:42,911 --> 00:08:44,510 You're the best boyfriend. 237 00:08:44,612 --> 00:08:46,245 That's her? 238 00:08:46,314 --> 00:08:47,546 Yep. 239 00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:48,681 People said she was difficult, 240 00:08:48,783 --> 00:08:50,483 but she was an amazing woman 241 00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:51,951 who didn't conform to anyone's idea 242 00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:53,286 of who she should be. 243 00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:56,871 There are a lot of photos of her being escorted out of places. 244 00:08:56,973 --> 00:08:59,741 Yeah. 245 00:08:59,809 --> 00:09:02,510 Well, it must feel good to know that... 246 00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:05,747 I mean not good. Everything must feel bad. 247 00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,383 I'm sorry. I'm bad at this whole death thing. 248 00:09:08,451 --> 00:09:09,851 And I see a lot of it at work. 249 00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:13,221 I mean, nobody ever feeds the station goldfish. 250 00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:15,356 It's not just hard for you. 251 00:09:15,425 --> 00:09:17,792 My brother can't stop cracking jokes, 252 00:09:17,894 --> 00:09:20,728 my sister's eating like a bear about to hibernate, 253 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,931 and meanwhile, I'm just sitting here thinking, 254 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,603 "Wow, you're here one second, and then poof... 255 00:09:28,705 --> 00:09:29,705 you're not." 256 00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:34,042 I know how sad you must be. 257 00:09:36,182 --> 00:09:37,215 Take off your shirt. 258 00:09:37,317 --> 00:09:38,549 - What? - Fine. 259 00:09:38,651 --> 00:09:40,585 - I'll run things. - Wow. 260 00:09:45,058 --> 00:09:47,091 Okay, very funny! 261 00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:50,528 Who did this?! 262 00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,967 Santa Mar��a, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores. 263 00:09:56,069 --> 00:09:57,802 Santa Mar��a, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, 264 00:09:57,871 --> 00:10:01,072 ahora y en la hora... Aah! 265 00:10:01,174 --> 00:10:03,040 Santa Mar�a, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, 266 00:10:03,109 --> 00:10:05,309 ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte. Amen. 267 00:10:07,986 --> 00:10:10,425 Hey, I haven't seen Alex since she yelled at us. 268 00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:11,459 Is she okay up there? 269 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,094 Now that I think about it, 270 00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:15,129 it did sound like she was crying a minute ago. 271 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:18,700 We should check on her. This is classic Alex. 272 00:10:18,802 --> 00:10:21,002 She's criticizing how we're processing Nana's death 273 00:10:21,104 --> 00:10:23,471 because she doesn't know what to do with her own feelings. 274 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,274 Meanwhile, she's taking it harder than anybody. 275 00:10:26,342 --> 00:10:28,042 - Aah! Get out! - That's not good. 276 00:10:32,635 --> 00:10:34,335 Do you remember when, um, 277 00:10:34,437 --> 00:10:35,969 she wouldn't pay for my voice lessons 278 00:10:36,038 --> 00:10:37,905 because she said she wanted to save the money 279 00:10:38,007 --> 00:10:39,506 in case I ended up with Dad's nose? 280 00:10:39,575 --> 00:10:42,176 You know, we... we could stick to nice stories today. 281 00:10:42,244 --> 00:10:45,446 Mom was a real person. She was flawed. 282 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:48,215 She made me wear pants to prom. 283 00:10:48,284 --> 00:10:49,650 She said it would "slow down" 284 00:10:49,752 --> 00:10:51,685 whatever mistake I was about to make. 285 00:10:51,787 --> 00:10:53,821 Well, I guess I never brought out that side of her. 286 00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:56,890 Or maybe you just let her get away with everything. 287 00:10:57,399 --> 00:10:58,599 - I... - Trick or treat! 288 00:10:58,701 --> 00:10:59,967 Happy Halloween! 289 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,769 What are you... What are you supposed to be? 290 00:11:01,837 --> 00:11:03,704 I was gonna go as a unicorn... 291 00:11:03,806 --> 00:11:06,807 ...but then I decided to be pajama girl. 292 00:11:07,176 --> 00:11:08,909 That was two weeks of sewing well spent. 293 00:11:08,977 --> 00:11:10,210 Well, kids don't always appreciate 294 00:11:10,279 --> 00:11:11,511 what moms do for them. 295 00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:12,679 Moms can be controlling. 296 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:13,707 Well, sometimes moms don't want 297 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,415 their daughters to embarrass themselves. 298 00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:16,616 Embarrass? 299 00:11:16,618 --> 00:11:18,819 Like throwing a surprise moon goddess party 300 00:11:18,921 --> 00:11:20,720 for their daughter's first period? 301 00:11:20,823 --> 00:11:23,190 It was a celebration of your womanhood! 302 00:11:23,292 --> 00:11:25,358 Every year I say I'm not coming back to this house. 303 00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:26,827 Okay. Just today... God. 304 00:11:26,929 --> 00:11:29,496 Just... Just today, could you not harp 305 00:11:29,598 --> 00:11:32,132 on how awful Mom was to you? 306 00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:33,733 She would have done anything for us! 307 00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:38,738 Mitchell, just because Mom is dead doesn't make her a saint! 308 00:11:38,841 --> 00:11:40,740 - Hey. - What? 309 00:11:40,843 --> 00:11:43,877 You're scaring the kids. 310 00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,352 What is wrong with me? 311 00:11:49,454 --> 00:11:50,987 Nothing is wrong with you. 312 00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:53,189 You're just a freak that gets turned on by tragedies. 313 00:11:53,258 --> 00:11:55,759 My God. Is that why I'm dating a firefighter? 314 00:11:55,861 --> 00:11:57,694 I hope I'm more to you than that, babe. 315 00:11:57,763 --> 00:12:00,363 By the way, there was a plane crash in Tustin. 316 00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:05,391 You know, there's a deep psycho-spiritual connection 317 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:06,525 between sex and death. 318 00:12:06,594 --> 00:12:07,994 Look at Freud. Thanatos, Eros... 319 00:12:08,062 --> 00:12:09,729 locked in an eternal struggle. 320 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,530 How do you know any of those words? 321 00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:14,066 I don't know. Maybe I remembered something from school somehow. 322 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,868 They say everything you've ever heard 323 00:12:15,937 --> 00:12:18,571 is locked in your brain somewhere. Another fun fact... 324 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,474 your brain burns 20% of the calories you consume. 325 00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:23,009 My burrito! 326 00:12:23,111 --> 00:12:25,111 Another one? 327 00:12:25,213 --> 00:12:26,412 My God. 328 00:12:26,921 --> 00:12:28,487 I think your brain is finally working 329 00:12:28,556 --> 00:12:30,089 because, for the first time ever, 330 00:12:30,157 --> 00:12:31,357 you're not starving yourself. 331 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,726 That is a credible hypothesis. 332 00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,528 Eating, are we? 333 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,464 You didn't happen to grab an Italian hero 334 00:12:38,566 --> 00:12:40,331 out of the fridge, did you? 335 00:12:40,410 --> 00:12:41,942 Nope, but that sounds delicious. 336 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,878 I'd go to town on an Italian hero right now. 337 00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,379 That's funny, 'cause Alex just finished... 338 00:12:45,481 --> 00:12:47,615 I will rip your tongue out. 339 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,717 My gosh. 340 00:12:49,786 --> 00:12:51,318 What was I thinking coming to West Hollywood 341 00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:52,653 on Halloween night? 342 00:12:52,722 --> 00:12:54,121 Hey. 343 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,589 Give the horn a rest. The parade's going by. 344 00:12:55,658 --> 00:12:57,591 - You're gonna be sitting here a while. - Sorry, Officer. 345 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,897 I don't get down to this part of town that often. 346 00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:05,332 That's... That's not a real cop, right? 347 00:13:05,434 --> 00:13:07,200 No. 348 00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:09,136 You know, I'm impressed you're still wearing that dress. 349 00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:10,904 Well, I'm wearing two pair of Spanx 350 00:13:10,973 --> 00:13:13,907 and was on a diuretic for 48 hours. As we say where I'm from, 351 00:13:13,976 --> 00:13:15,509 you don't teach your dog to play the banjo 352 00:13:15,578 --> 00:13:17,811 and then skip the talent show. 353 00:13:18,613 --> 00:13:21,447 Man. 354 00:13:21,516 --> 00:13:23,049 This ice cream is gonna melt. 355 00:13:23,118 --> 00:13:26,152 Well, grab a spoon. 356 00:13:27,689 --> 00:13:30,056 - Somebody should enjoy it. - Yeah. 357 00:13:34,796 --> 00:13:38,264 You know, we've been so focused on Mitchell and Claire, 358 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,167 I haven't had a chance to really... 359 00:13:41,869 --> 00:13:43,269 Yeah. I know. 360 00:13:43,371 --> 00:13:45,404 First time I met her, she threatened to murder me 361 00:13:45,473 --> 00:13:47,506 if I ever made her son unhappy. 362 00:13:47,575 --> 00:13:50,075 Went into pretty graphic detail... 363 00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:52,177 described how she'd get rid of my body and everything. 364 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,479 I was like, "Wow, 365 00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:55,414 this woman will never trust me." 366 00:13:55,483 --> 00:13:58,484 That's so her. 367 00:13:58,952 --> 00:14:00,319 Then one time, she overheard me talking 368 00:14:00,421 --> 00:14:04,589 about drinking dandelion wine with my... with my grandma. 369 00:14:04,658 --> 00:14:06,358 She went over to the kitchen cabinet 370 00:14:06,427 --> 00:14:07,492 and pulled out a bottle. 371 00:14:07,561 --> 00:14:10,262 Apparently, she had an aunt that taught her how to make it. 372 00:14:10,331 --> 00:14:12,497 And we sat there at the kitchen table 373 00:14:12,599 --> 00:14:14,800 drinking and swapping stories 374 00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:17,969 about growing up in the boondocks. 375 00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,433 The wine made me go blind for a bit, but... 376 00:14:20,535 --> 00:14:23,503 ...I'll never forget her voice, 377 00:14:23,605 --> 00:14:24,804 slurring in the darkness, 378 00:14:24,873 --> 00:14:28,008 telling me she understood why Mitchell loved me. 379 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,276 I remember dropping Haley off at school 380 00:14:30,345 --> 00:14:32,045 for the first time. 381 00:14:32,147 --> 00:14:35,148 Her staring at me with those giant eyes, 382 00:14:35,217 --> 00:14:38,385 her lips quivering, crying for me to stay. 383 00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:41,321 And I... 384 00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:43,422 I told her everything is gonna be all right, 385 00:14:43,525 --> 00:14:45,258 and then I stagger back to my car and I start crying. 386 00:14:45,359 --> 00:14:46,359 Gosh. 387 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,228 And you know who was there waiting for me? 388 00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:50,530 Well, if it's not Dede, 389 00:14:50,632 --> 00:14:52,431 it's kind of a touching but pointless story. 390 00:14:52,534 --> 00:14:54,901 It was Dede. 391 00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:57,403 She knew it was gonna be a hard day for me. 392 00:14:57,872 --> 00:15:00,039 I can't believe she's gone. 393 00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:02,408 I'm gonna miss her. 394 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:04,843 Me too. 395 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,066 - To Dede. - To Dede. 396 00:15:17,571 --> 00:15:19,405 Aah! 397 00:15:20,908 --> 00:15:24,076 Okay, you want to talk? Let's talk. 398 00:15:24,144 --> 00:15:27,012 I know that you never liked me. 399 00:15:27,081 --> 00:15:29,448 And I was always nice. 400 00:15:29,516 --> 00:15:30,916 Okay, fine, one time, 401 00:15:30,984 --> 00:15:33,351 I did use your toothbrush on Stella. 402 00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:36,121 But mostly I admired you for raising 403 00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:39,691 such wonderful children and for helping make Jay 404 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,961 the amazing man that I fell in love with. 405 00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:46,865 I guess I never thanked you for all of that. 406 00:15:46,934 --> 00:15:50,235 So, if you can hear me now, 407 00:15:50,337 --> 00:15:52,871 thank you. 408 00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:55,474 And can you please tell Rosa Garcia 409 00:15:55,542 --> 00:15:58,543 to stop haunting me, too? 410 00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:01,099 And Marta Blanco, 411 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,502 Marisol Gutierrez, and Cecila Matos? 412 00:16:04,571 --> 00:16:05,637 Gracias. 413 00:16:09,025 --> 00:16:10,275 Look, I'm sorry. 414 00:16:10,343 --> 00:16:12,710 I think I've been trying to make Mom into the bad guy. 415 00:16:12,779 --> 00:16:14,345 It's not gonna make it any easier. 416 00:16:14,414 --> 00:16:17,749 That's not it. I... I just feel so guilty. 417 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,217 Why? 418 00:16:19,286 --> 00:16:21,819 Because sometimes, 419 00:16:21,888 --> 00:16:24,759 I was as mean to Mom as she was to me. 420 00:16:24,794 --> 00:16:26,424 She was just hard on you 421 00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:28,993 because sh-she believed in you so much. 422 00:16:29,082 --> 00:16:31,115 Why do you always have to defend her? 423 00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:33,517 Because I loved her! I... 424 00:16:35,088 --> 00:16:36,454 I can't believe I'm saying that in the past tense. 425 00:16:36,556 --> 00:16:40,191 I... I'm sorry that I had a better relationship with her. 426 00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:42,626 And I'm... I'm sorry that it bothered you, okay? 427 00:16:42,695 --> 00:16:44,061 You have a better relationship with Dad, 428 00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:47,030 and I know he loves me just as much. 429 00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,902 Yeah, and when Dad dies, 430 00:16:51,004 --> 00:16:54,172 he's gonna leave knowing how much I loved him. 431 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,074 I'm not sure Mom knew that. 432 00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:57,242 Of course she did. 433 00:16:57,344 --> 00:16:58,743 Really? 434 00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:00,512 Because unlike you, the last time I talked to her, 435 00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,514 we got in a huge fight. 436 00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:08,686 You get to remember telling her you loved her and laughing, 437 00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:11,422 and I get to remember getting in some stupid argument 438 00:17:11,524 --> 00:17:12,957 about a Facebook post. 439 00:17:13,059 --> 00:17:15,426 The one where she said putting eucalyptus oils 440 00:17:15,495 --> 00:17:17,562 on the soles of your feet is a natural birth control? 441 00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:18,863 Yes. Yes. 442 00:17:18,932 --> 00:17:20,832 That's the one. And you have 443 00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,633 a 12-year-old daughter who reads those posts... 444 00:17:22,702 --> 00:17:24,268 you might want to tell her that's not science. 445 00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:27,038 Okay, okay, remember that last amazing conversation 446 00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:28,339 - I had with Mom? - For God's sakes. 447 00:17:28,408 --> 00:17:30,741 I'm sorry, but there's no other way to describe it, okay? 448 00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,843 She told me about your fight, and she... 449 00:17:32,945 --> 00:17:34,311 she told me how upset she was. 450 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,981 She... She said she was gonna call you to apologize. 451 00:17:37,049 --> 00:17:39,917 My God. 452 00:17:40,386 --> 00:17:43,086 She left me a voicemail a couple days ago, 453 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,555 but I was saving it till the next time 454 00:17:44,623 --> 00:17:46,189 I had to yell at somebody at work. 455 00:17:46,258 --> 00:17:48,125 Okay. 456 00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,562 Hey, honey. It's Mom. 457 00:17:51,630 --> 00:17:53,497 I just want to apologize. 458 00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:56,099 I should not have lost my temper. 459 00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:58,869 Shaman Phoenix Feather's family-planning advice 460 00:17:58,938 --> 00:18:00,203 may not be for everyone, 461 00:18:00,272 --> 00:18:01,972 and you just want to keep your daughters safe. 462 00:18:02,074 --> 00:18:03,273 I get it. 463 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,741 I have a daughter of my own, 464 00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:07,544 and I know how much she means to me. 465 00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:10,948 Anyway, I'm sorry. I love you, and I always will. 466 00:18:11,016 --> 00:18:12,549 I love you, too, Mom. 467 00:18:14,584 --> 00:18:18,086 Also, I saw your new photo on social media. 468 00:18:18,155 --> 00:18:20,355 Are you part of some protest 469 00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:22,324 where you're not allowed to wash your hair? 470 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,792 Or are you just trying to be... 471 00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,394 I'm gonna listen to that later. 472 00:18:28,598 --> 00:18:32,033 - Weird hearing her voice. - Daddy. 473 00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:37,433 You already know this, but I want to say it again. 474 00:18:37,535 --> 00:18:39,735 We both love you so much. 475 00:18:39,804 --> 00:18:42,505 Yeah. And I know we've... we've had our ups and downs, 476 00:18:42,574 --> 00:18:45,274 but I've loved being your son. 477 00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:48,211 Are you... 478 00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,146 buttering me up 'cause you ate my sandwich? 479 00:18:50,215 --> 00:18:52,081 What is wrong with you? 480 00:18:52,183 --> 00:18:54,951 Seriously. What is this obsession with a sandwich? 481 00:18:55,053 --> 00:18:56,586 I waited in line! 482 00:18:56,654 --> 00:18:58,821 I was thinking about it for months! 483 00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:01,156 You know who would get this? 484 00:19:01,258 --> 00:19:04,259 Dede. That woman appreciated a good sandwich. 485 00:19:04,362 --> 00:19:06,562 And she made the best ones, you know, 486 00:19:06,631 --> 00:19:08,163 when we were first married. 487 00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:10,466 In that little house in the valley. 488 00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:11,767 And we didn't have any money, 489 00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:13,569 but she would go miles out of her way 490 00:19:13,638 --> 00:19:15,671 to get the bread with the crunchy crust 491 00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,006 from that French bakery. 492 00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:20,409 It was hard on the outside, soft and warm on the inside, 493 00:19:20,511 --> 00:19:23,379 and she'd say, "That's just like you, Jay." 494 00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:27,416 She was nice to me back then. 495 00:19:27,518 --> 00:19:29,585 Yeah. 496 00:19:29,687 --> 00:19:31,253 It's funny, 497 00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:35,924 I happened to drive past there a while ago. 498 00:19:36,027 --> 00:19:39,094 That bakery's not there anymore. 499 00:19:39,196 --> 00:19:43,098 And damn if I wasn't depressed for a week. 500 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,935 You know, I didn't realize... 501 00:19:47,038 --> 00:19:49,605 ...how much it meant to me 502 00:19:49,707 --> 00:19:51,040 till it was gone, you know? 503 00:19:51,142 --> 00:19:53,242 - Yeah. - Yeah. 504 00:19:53,344 --> 00:19:56,745 - Yeah. - Yeah. 505 00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,748 Look at that beautiful family moment. 506 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:03,218 Yeah, look right at it. 507 00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:08,123 I asked myself, "What would Nana want today?" 508 00:20:08,225 --> 00:20:11,293 She'd want me to mess with Gloria. 509 00:20:11,395 --> 00:20:13,062 Also, I ate Grandpa's sandwich. 510 00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:17,680 God. Jerry forwarded me an e-mail 511 00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:18,767 from Mom's women's group. 512 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,994 I-I-I can't even read it. 513 00:20:21,029 --> 00:20:22,078 - You do it. I... - Okay. 514 00:20:22,113 --> 00:20:27,034 Um..."Our sincere condolences on the loss of your loved one, Dede." 515 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,410 - What happened to Mom? - Let's see. 516 00:20:29,435 --> 00:20:32,393 "On the third night, Dede wandered away from the group 517 00:20:32,418 --> 00:20:34,917 and encountered a pack of starving timberwolves." 518 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,220 - My God. - My God, Mom. 519 00:20:36,245 --> 00:20:37,645 "As you know, Dede long believed 520 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,070 she could comunicate with animals, 521 00:20:39,095 --> 00:20:42,290 so using a mix of howls and barks she convinced them 522 00:20:42,315 --> 00:20:45,987 to seek food elsewhere." Guess that wasn't that. Let's see. 523 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:50,621 "Later she ignored that thin ice sign and plunged..." 524 00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:52,538 Hang on, saved by one of the wolves. 525 00:20:52,563 --> 00:20:54,880 "She deeply 526 00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:59,319 offended a tribe of inuits by interrupting a secret dagger... 527 00:20:59,344 --> 00:21:02,333 She briefly swallowed..." Here it is! 528 00:21:02,358 --> 00:21:05,779 "On the trip's final morning, Dede was found in her room. 529 00:21:05,804 --> 00:21:09,282 She had apparently passed peacefully in her sleep 530 00:21:09,317 --> 00:21:11,157 as a smile graced her face 531 00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:16,304 and her hands clutched 10 pages of sugestions for the hotel staff." 532 00:21:16,329 --> 00:21:19,042 - That is so Mom. - Easy. 533 00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:24,067 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 39426

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