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1
00:00:04,084 --> 00:00:05,283
Oh, no.
2
00:00:05,352 --> 00:00:07,733
Has it been a year already?
3
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:10,793
♪ You're a grand old flag,
you're a high-flying flag ♪
4
00:00:10,828 --> 00:00:14,296
♪ And forever in peace may you wave ♪
5
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,890
We love the Fourth of July.
6
00:00:16,925 --> 00:00:18,018
It's the perfect holiday.
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,438
You get to cook outside,
blow stuff up, wear shorts.
8
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,870
Easter should be taking notes.
9
00:00:22,906 --> 00:00:26,908
♪ Keep your eyes
on the grand old flag ♪
10
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,609
That was longer than I remember.
11
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:31,365
Hello?
12
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:35,033
Joe, you should be thankful
that you live in this country.
13
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:38,536
I spent half of my childhood
in a Banana Republic.
14
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:41,439
It was the only store in my village
that had air-conditioner.
15
00:00:41,596 --> 00:00:43,229
Yes, Mr. President.
16
00:00:43,264 --> 00:00:45,465
Yes, sir, I'd be honored to,
sir. Thank you.
17
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,233
Amazing news.
18
00:00:47,268 --> 00:00:49,702
The grand marshal for today's
parade just got #MeToo'd,
19
00:00:49,738 --> 00:00:51,070
and they need me to fill in.
20
00:00:51,106 --> 00:00:54,006
Oh, Jay, I'm so happy for you!
21
00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:56,242
So, now the only thing left
on your bucket list
22
00:00:56,277 --> 00:00:58,377
is to bare-knuckle fight a Russian!
23
00:00:58,413 --> 00:00:59,845
Ay!
24
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,014
Oh, and Manny's gonna be back home
25
00:01:02,049 --> 00:01:05,217
from his big road trip
just in time for the parade.
26
00:01:05,253 --> 00:01:07,586
He's been gone for so long.
I can't wait to see him.
27
00:01:07,622 --> 00:01:08,721
That's great!
28
00:01:08,756 --> 00:01:10,467
We'll have the whole family
back together with me
29
00:01:10,491 --> 00:01:12,491
to ride in the convertible LeBaron.
30
00:01:12,526 --> 00:01:14,373
Joe, how's your parade wave?
31
00:01:14,629 --> 00:01:16,028
We'll work on it.
32
00:01:16,263 --> 00:01:17,529
♪ Every heart beats true ♪
33
00:01:17,565 --> 00:01:18,964
♪ For the red, white, and blue ♪
34
00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:20,432
♪ Where there's never a... ♪
35
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Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:34,648 --> 00:01:35,814
More!
37
00:01:37,585 --> 00:01:40,152
Yeah. I've got time to help you.
38
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,054
Oh, look at your cousin being so sweet
39
00:01:42,089 --> 00:01:43,322
and helping out a friend.
40
00:01:43,357 --> 00:01:47,092
Ugh! Such a weak little coward.
Are we done yet?
41
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,417
No. It's a really big bridge.
42
00:01:49,452 --> 00:01:51,719
Or maybe you're just a really tiny man.
43
00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:54,922
Things were going great
on my cross-country drive
44
00:01:54,957 --> 00:01:56,491
until I fell behind schedule
45
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,511
after I developed a perfectly
rational, fact-based fear
46
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,663
of driving over bridges.
47
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,849
I called Cam for support
since he taught driver's ed,
48
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,959
- but he wasn't around.
- What?
49
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,769
Turns out a strong verbal lashing
50
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,172
was exactly what I needed
to get me across that bridge
51
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,806
and the many others that cover
this country like a cancer.
52
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:16,426
Okay, Cal. Let's say hi to Mommy.
53
00:02:16,461 --> 00:02:17,761
- Say, "Hi, Mommy!"
- Whoa, whoa.
54
00:02:17,796 --> 00:02:19,931
if I'm in that shot, back up
a-and turn the lights down.
55
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,231
We had Chinese food last night.
I look like a blowfish.
56
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,045
Okay, you know what, Mitchell?
It's not about you.
57
00:02:24,069 --> 00:02:26,703
I promised we would send a video of Cal
58
00:02:26,738 --> 00:02:28,774
to my sister for her birthday,
59
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,234
and that was a week ago,
so we got to get it done.
60
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:35,380
We have been watching
my big-for-his-age nephew Cal
61
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,871
while my sister Pameron is...
62
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,840
is back in Missouri
paying off a little debt.
63
00:02:38,875 --> 00:02:40,241
To society. She's in prison.
64
00:02:40,277 --> 00:02:41,676
For a tiny parole violation.
65
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:42,989
She tried something on in a store
66
00:02:43,013 --> 00:02:44,123
and accidentally walked out.
67
00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:45,713
It was another woman's purse.
68
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,282
The silver lining is,
69
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:50,552
Cal is benefiting from
our parenting experience.
70
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,921
Mitchell is molding young Cal's brain
71
00:02:52,956 --> 00:02:55,175
while I handle the young boy's body.
72
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:57,444
It's a miracle we're not in prison.
73
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:58,303
Yeah.
74
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,004
Okay, let's sing the alphabet for Mommy.
75
00:03:01,039 --> 00:03:02,672
Come on, you and I worked on this.
76
00:03:02,708 --> 00:03:04,107
A, B...
77
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,268
6!
78
00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:07,422
You know, I think I put
so much information in there,
79
00:03:07,446 --> 00:03:08,957
it's getting jumbled up on the way out.
80
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,491
Well, let's... let's do
some of your stuff.
81
00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:11,559
Throw him a ball or something.
82
00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:13,516
Oh, okay, yeah. That's a great idea.
83
00:03:13,552 --> 00:03:15,518
Okay, on the count of 3, Cal.
84
00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:17,854
Are you ready? 1, 2, 3!
85
00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,356
Oh. Okay.
86
00:03:19,391 --> 00:03:20,790
All right, um... well, hugs!
87
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,411
Hey, how about a hug?
88
00:03:22,961 --> 00:03:25,414
Aww. He is such a good hugger.
89
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,696
Okay, here's the thing...
90
00:03:26,732 --> 00:03:28,365
football camp started when Cal came.
91
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,532
Then I was laid up
92
00:03:29,568 --> 00:03:31,434
because of that dinner
at Absolutely Crabulous.
93
00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:34,170
Well, don't worry. I've been
slacking on my end, too.
94
00:03:34,206 --> 00:03:36,773
Yeah, but I've been telling Pam
that Cal is thriving here.
95
00:03:36,808 --> 00:03:39,809
We can't send her a video
of him reciting his AB6s!
96
00:03:40,946 --> 00:03:43,046
- I wonder...
- Go on. I'm in.
97
00:03:43,081 --> 00:03:45,081
Is it possible to shoot him in a way
98
00:03:45,117 --> 00:03:46,983
that makes him look better than he is?
99
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:48,896
Oh, honey, are you kidding?
Vin Diesel's a movie star.
100
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,240
Anything's possible with editing.
101
00:03:53,625 --> 00:03:54,568
What do you got there?
102
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,068
Oh, just choosing some classes
for college.
103
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,603
This one looks interesting.
104
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,308
"In this intensive"... Nope.
105
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,409
Drop that!
106
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,077
Game day, buddy.
107
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:08,480
For the first time ever,
Luke and I are taking part
108
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,560
in the sport of kings,
the savory science.
109
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,052
We're teamed in a parent/child
hot-dog-eating contest.
110
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:16,166
We've been training for weeks,
and I'm proud to say that Luke,
111
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:19,524
like his old man, is blessed
with a dogger's mouth.
112
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,360
I felt something tear inside.
113
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,761
Push through it.
114
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,931
You'll thank me when you start
to feel the gorger's high.
115
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:26,849
Ugh.
116
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,202
Aah! What the hell?!
117
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,457
Oh, is the hot dog making you angry?
118
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,216
An angry stomach is 12% larger. Boo!
119
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,986
I think we've got a real shot
120
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,853
to take down Rhonda and Thandie Hodak.
121
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:40,989
But they're undefeated.
122
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,190
I guess that makes us "under-dogs."
123
00:04:43,225 --> 00:04:45,452
Mm. How long
you been sitting on that one?
124
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,619
Not as long as you've been
sitting on that couch.
125
00:04:47,795 --> 00:04:49,331
- Hm.
- Hey, hey.
126
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,832
Can I get in on that floor bagel?
127
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,799
Alex decided to take off
some time earlier this summer,
128
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,629
and, like everything else she does,
129
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,229
she did it a little too well.
130
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:01,233
Who's there? Did you bring food?
131
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,835
Uh... tomatoes.
132
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,804
But they won't be ready for six weeks.
133
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,405
You have a backup?
134
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,873
Well, I fell asleep on my phone,
135
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,275
and I think my face ordered another one.
136
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,061
Oh.
137
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,278
You know, do you want to join me?
138
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,591
You go back to work in a few weeks.
139
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,381
You'll regret it
if you don't relax a little.
140
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,317
Uh, okay. Sure.
141
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,619
The... This can wait 10 minutes
142
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,473
until I get him into the ground, right?
143
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,493
Can you scratch my nose?
I feel like you're closer.
144
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:28,961
Okay, up on the table
145
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,897
for a little stomach massage
and heckler prep.
146
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,133
Hey, gals, things haven't
been going that great
147
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,034
between me and Arvin,
and he's stopping by
148
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:38,070
to say goodbye
before leaving for Switzerland.
149
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,471
Could you take off the onesies
150
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,740
and make it look like we don't
live in an insane asylum?
151
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:44,643
You suck! You eat like a moron!
152
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,012
Oh, my God! It's like you want Arvin
153
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,481
to throw his return ticket off an Alp!
154
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,550
Mm. No wonder she's so stressed.
155
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,519
She's wearing, like, a seven-sie.
156
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,258
Haley. Fancy meeting you here.
157
00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,426
Wait, why? I-I live here.
158
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,996
No, I-I know. I was...
I was making a joke.
159
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,539
It was stupid.
160
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,541
Oh, no, it... it wasn't stupid.
It was funny.
161
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:08,708
Well, you didn't laugh.
162
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,944
Well, do it again. I'll laugh this time.
163
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,345
I'd rather not.
164
00:06:12,381 --> 00:06:14,548
Sorry. I'm just, um, a little...
165
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,969
I'm really nervous,
and I feel like this goodbye
166
00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:19,237
has so much pressure on it.
167
00:06:19,272 --> 00:06:21,881
So let's just relax
and be with each other.
168
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:24,276
I actually have to go.
169
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,511
No, seriously.
170
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,989
I misread my itinerary,
171
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,515
and I have to get to the airport.
172
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,659
No! So, uh, this is it?
173
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:33,810
This is goodbye?
174
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,692
I'm afraid so.
175
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,760
I'm gonna miss you.
176
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,895
I'll miss you, too.
177
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,730
Aww.
178
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:41,960
That's my car. I should probably...
179
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,486
Okay.
180
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,072
Uh, well... goodbye, Haley.
181
00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:50,685
Oh!
182
00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:52,103
Love you.
183
00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:54,914
Love you, too.
184
00:06:58,626 --> 00:06:59,626
Is he gone?
185
00:07:00,729 --> 00:07:02,130
- Yeah?
- Oh, good.
186
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,107
No one wants old fuddy-duddy dad
187
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,632
ruining the big romantic moment.
188
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,734
I'll be upstairs
hiding in Luke's closet.
189
00:07:09,628 --> 00:07:12,849
All right. There we go, Cal.
Chew the peanut butter.
190
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,660
See? Now, with editing,
we can make it look like
191
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:15,924
he's saying anything we want...
192
00:07:15,952 --> 00:07:18,219
numbers, the alphabet,
a joke about Jewish people.
193
00:07:18,239 --> 00:07:19,271
Pam loves those.
194
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:20,973
Movie tricks come easy to me...
195
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,242
you know, clowns
being naturals at deception.
196
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,577
It's true...
a couple months into dating,
197
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,046
Cam told me he was a clown,
198
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:28,714
did a little performance for me,
199
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,449
and I... I did feel deceived.
200
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:33,952
Okay, now, when I say "action,"
201
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,664
Cal's gonna throw me the ball.
202
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:36,830
You're gonna walk backwards,
203
00:07:36,865 --> 00:07:38,331
and then in editing, I'll reverse it
204
00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:39,944
to make it look like
Cal's catching the ball
205
00:07:39,968 --> 00:07:41,167
and you're walking normally.
206
00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:42,502
Why am I even in it at all?
207
00:07:42,537 --> 00:07:44,649
Remind me of something,
Mitchell... is the best art made
208
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:48,240
by a million voices chiming in
or one man with a single vision?
209
00:07:49,081 --> 00:07:52,263
Okay, and we lay in the piano later.
210
00:07:52,485 --> 00:07:56,687
♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪
211
00:07:56,722 --> 00:08:01,084
♪ How I wonder what you are ♪
212
00:08:01,119 --> 00:08:02,541
- I have to pee!
- He has to pee.
213
00:08:02,576 --> 00:08:03,638
- Okay, he has to pee.
- Yep.
214
00:08:03,662 --> 00:08:05,385
All right. Take five!
215
00:08:06,458 --> 00:08:07,879
Lily, this is our first cut,
216
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,407
so if you see anything wonky,
let us know.
217
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,227
Oh. Hello, Mommy.
218
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,695
Happy birthday.
219
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,664
1 plus 1 is 2.
220
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,433
Simple math.
221
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,664
I can catch a ball.
222
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,239
How'd you miss the cat?
223
00:08:28,296 --> 00:08:30,396
I didn't. That take was your best walk.
224
00:08:35,904 --> 00:08:37,726
That is gold.
225
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,990
Why the giant bottle of wine?
226
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:49,212
It's for perspective,
and nobody's asking that question.
227
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,671
- Didn't I just ask it?
- Cam.
228
00:08:51,707 --> 00:08:53,416
Yeah, I know. It's certified rotten.
229
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,107
Luke.
230
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,686
He's only getting 1/3 of the dog
on his first bite.
231
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,688
Anything less than half,
and you're playing for second.
232
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,990
Well, the good news is,
the Fourth is weeks away.
233
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,582
Um...
234
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:13,084
it's... it's today.
235
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,655
Toda... June...?
236
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,312
- Yeah... gone.
- Oh.
237
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,692
There you are!
It's almost time for our show.
238
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,605
- Wait... what are you wearing?
- Clothes?
239
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,914
I got to get back into school mode
240
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,399
before I lose my edge.
241
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,293
Mom, you might want to think
about rejoining life
242
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,903
before your brain freezes, too.
243
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,422
Yeah,
don't you worry about...
244
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,323
me.
245
00:09:35,726 --> 00:09:36,643
What's that?
246
00:09:36,927 --> 00:09:38,478
Oh. Um...
247
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:39,894
Listen.
248
00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:43,566
No dad wants to have this talk
with his son, but...
249
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,734
you're just not eating enough hot dogs.
250
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,502
I'm sorry.
251
00:09:47,779 --> 00:09:50,323
For some reason,
I just... I can't focus.
252
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:53,318
I think what Luke is trying to say is,
253
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,542
he's too old for this contest
254
00:09:54,578 --> 00:09:56,262
and he doesn't have the heart
to tell you.
255
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,829
That's impossible. I'm an adult.
I'm still super into it.
256
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:02,199
Yeah. My 20s should be
my prime hot-dog-eating years.
257
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,287
That was just my first attempt.
258
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,145
I'm gonna figure this out. Hang on.
259
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:09,834
Despite what Alex says,
I have not lost my edge.
260
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,110
Something just clicked.
261
00:10:11,981 --> 00:10:14,572
Fine. You're right... it's college.
262
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:15,738
- It is?
- Yeah.
263
00:10:15,773 --> 00:10:17,551
I'm distracted because
I'm feeling some pressure
264
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,077
on which classes to take.
265
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,310
But don't worry.
I'm gonna figure it out.
266
00:10:22,947 --> 00:10:25,214
Wow. How could you tell?
267
00:10:26,478 --> 00:10:28,670
I'm just a... perceptive guy.
268
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,815
I wasn't talking about Luke.
The clicking was in my jaw.
269
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,807
My old TMJ injury was back,
thanks to all the training.
270
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,194
I got it in college
when I bet my roommate
271
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,788
I could out-Frisbee-catch
his golden retriever.
272
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,082
And guess who wo... Aah!
273
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,447
- Ugh.
- Aw.
274
00:10:44,482 --> 00:10:46,104
Arvin and I had the worst goodbye.
275
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,538
It's been such a weird
past couple months.
276
00:10:48,573 --> 00:10:49,672
That long?
277
00:10:49,707 --> 00:10:51,607
It feels like it all started
in the hospital,
278
00:10:51,643 --> 00:10:52,808
after I told him I loved him.
279
00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:54,043
There you go.
280
00:10:54,078 --> 00:10:55,711
That's it. You pressured him.
281
00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,882
- Too much, too soon.
- Maybe.
282
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,576
Something's not lining up.
283
00:11:00,229 --> 00:11:01,452
Okay, you're right.
284
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,551
Seriously?!
285
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:05,087
Something happened in the hospital
while Arvin was gone.
286
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,733
Lost again?
287
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,779
No. This time, I meant to come back.
288
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,903
I have some pretty big news.
289
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,272
You should probably be sitting for this.
290
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:16,440
O... kay.
291
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,272
I lied.
292
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,941
I'm not married anymore.
293
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:27,876
My wife left me for her ex-husband.
294
00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,344
I'm a divorcé.
295
00:11:30,547 --> 00:11:31,780
Why are you telling me this?
296
00:11:31,815 --> 00:11:34,482
Because I'm back in town,
I'm going to nursing school,
297
00:11:34,518 --> 00:11:36,551
and we might run into each other.
298
00:11:36,587 --> 00:11:38,256
I don't want to
spend the rest of my life
299
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,181
pretending my wife is in the bathroom.
300
00:11:40,217 --> 00:11:42,936
Yeah, I would start to
worry about her after a while.
301
00:11:43,353 --> 00:11:45,063
Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out.
302
00:11:45,394 --> 00:11:48,648
It's okay. I don't think
we ever really got each other.
303
00:11:48,683 --> 00:11:51,217
Like, you know how when you and I
used to go to concerts,
304
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,507
we used to just look
at each other and know...
305
00:11:53,507 --> 00:11:55,356
It was time for me
to get on your shoulders
306
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:56,524
and throw my bra at the drummer.
307
00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:57,614
Yeah.
308
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,583
Like, you probably
have that with Arvin, right?
309
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,118
- Definitely.
- That's awesome.
310
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:02,185
With my wife,
311
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,558
she's pretty and smart and a doctor.
312
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,827
But if you're always telling yourself
313
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:08,853
how lucky you are,
314
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:11,080
it's probably because
you're afraid to ask yourself
315
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,305
how happy you are.
316
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,441
Right?
317
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,001
I brought ice chips.
318
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,937
Or are they ice fries here?
319
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,005
Oh!
320
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:21,516
Ha.
321
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,176
I can't believe Dylan got into my head.
322
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,438
I can't believe
he got into nursing school.
323
00:12:30,692 --> 00:12:32,185
That's the biggest one they got?
324
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,295
Yes, and I'm not going back again.
325
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,023
Have you seen Manny? I've been
looking all over for him.
326
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,007
I don't see him.
327
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,341
I've been here,
busy inspecting the troops.
328
00:12:40,376 --> 00:12:42,261
Young lady, could you
straighten that hat?
329
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,394
Sir, that... that horn
could use a shine.
330
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,629
Haircut.
331
00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:47,867
Gloria, if this goes well,
in a couple of months,
332
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,558
I'll be lighting
the town Christmas tree.
333
00:12:49,593 --> 00:12:51,727
- Take that, Dad!
- You know what is weird?
334
00:12:51,762 --> 00:12:54,263
After so many years
at Carnaval,
335
00:12:54,298 --> 00:12:57,126
to be at a parade
with people fully dressed.
336
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,486
Gloria, focus.
337
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,946
You've got a big role in this.
338
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,914
After I cut the ribbon,
it's your job to fire off the cannon.
339
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,083
That's the signal for everybody
to start marching.
340
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,286
But isn't the grand marshal's job
to fire the cannon?
341
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,621
So the ribbon cuts itself?
342
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,849
Gloria, what you don't know
about parades...
343
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:12,709
Wait, wait.
344
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,819
Papi! Hello.
345
00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:17,511
Are you coming?
The parade is about to start.
346
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,382
Hey! Jay!
347
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,234
Hey, Tom! How's it going?
348
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:24,053
Great, actually.
My wife and I, we're back together.
349
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,031
I... Well, not exactly.
I mean, we're going on dates.
350
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,300
- We're hoping to recapture...
- Yeah, yeah.
351
00:13:28,324 --> 00:13:29,490
I want to hear all about it,
352
00:13:29,526 --> 00:13:31,492
but I think the local paper
needs a photo.
353
00:13:31,528 --> 00:13:32,770
Oh. O-Of course. Yeah.
354
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,136
Gloria, get in the shot.
355
00:13:34,171 --> 00:13:36,405
Gloria.
356
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,274
But you promised
that you were going to be here.
357
00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:41,009
Just shoot. No, go ahead... shoot it.
358
00:13:41,045 --> 00:13:42,678
What? Okay.
359
00:13:42,713 --> 00:13:43,812
No, no, not yet!
360
00:13:48,052 --> 00:13:49,685
Damn it, Gloria! It's not cutting!
361
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,053
These aren't lefties!
362
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:05,136
Grand-marshal. Take that, Grandpa!
363
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,536
You must be on top of the world.
364
00:14:06,642 --> 00:14:08,156
Well, I'm putting on a brave face
365
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,792
for the good of the country,
but the truth is,
366
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,516
we did not get off to a great start.
367
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,318
Gloria is not on her game today,
368
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,430
and I'm afraid she's gonna forget
369
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,647
to lead the standing ovation
after my speech.
370
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,798
- Hm.
- In fact, I'm tagging you in.
371
00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,833
Your cue is "pursuit of happiness."
372
00:14:20,868 --> 00:14:22,746
And if you could sell it,
a "bravo" would be nice.
373
00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:25,004
Okay. I-I know what's wrong with Gloria.
374
00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:27,425
This is a big day for you,
and she's feeling left out.
375
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,326
No, that's not it.
376
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,327
Damn it.
377
00:14:29,389 --> 00:14:31,345
You're not getting here till tomorrow?
378
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,004
How does your name
even have the word "man" in it?
379
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,224
Something just clicked.
380
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,615
- Jaw trouble?
- No!
381
00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:39,545
She was just on with Manny,
who's not coming.
382
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,713
Don't Gloria and Manny have
some Fourth of July tradition?
383
00:14:42,805 --> 00:14:44,038
Come to think of it,
384
00:14:44,073 --> 00:14:46,151
they share a slice of apple pie
and watch the fireworks.
385
00:14:46,175 --> 00:14:48,409
They've been doing that
every year since he was born!
386
00:14:48,444 --> 00:14:52,046
Until this year,
which is why Gloria is upset.
387
00:14:52,081 --> 00:14:53,213
- Yes!
- You're right!
388
00:14:53,249 --> 00:14:55,078
- Mm-hmm.
- I let the sash go to my head.
389
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,270
I never should have brought it!
390
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,669
Oh, I can help you out,
391
00:14:57,704 --> 00:14:59,791
but you're gonna have to give up
on your little speech thing.
392
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,761
Hey, kid. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where'd you get the fireworks?
393
00:15:01,785 --> 00:15:03,611
- You a cop?
- Oh, co...
394
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,578
There's a stand in
the grocery store parking lot.
395
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,079
But he's closing up.
396
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,175
You get the fireworks and the apple pie.
397
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,499
I will take care of Manny.
398
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,435
I am back. I am really back!
399
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,569
My car's blocked in.
400
00:15:13,604 --> 00:15:14,915
All this traffic, I'll never make it.
401
00:15:14,939 --> 00:15:16,172
Look at that... right there.
402
00:15:17,241 --> 00:15:19,041
Check out! I'm a Shriner.
403
00:15:19,076 --> 00:15:21,443
Cool! Listen, I need to borrow your car.
404
00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:22,630
It's kind of an emergency.
405
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,690
But my dad's excited
to see me in the parade.
406
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,047
He was a Tuskegee Airman.
407
00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:28,049
Maybe the minute you stop trying so hard
408
00:15:28,085 --> 00:15:29,684
is the minute he'll start loving you.
409
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,948
Now hop out of there
and go clear a path for me
410
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:32,845
through those lawn chairs.
411
00:15:32,845 --> 00:15:34,765
- Come on. I'll help you out.
- But... I don't...
412
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,146
Oh, how about this one, okay?
413
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,956
Maybe we'll get lucky
and he'll be good at this.
414
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,191
Okay, don't you think
this is a little hateful...
415
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,191
- waterboarding a clown for a prize?
- Oh, come on.
416
00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:46,004
You guys spray each other
with seltzer all the time.
417
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,755
That's between two consenting clowns.
418
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,949
All right, one second. Let's get this.
419
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,715
Okay, go ahead. Okay.
420
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,329
- No. No. Wrong way, wrong way.
- Oh, okay, all right, you got to...
421
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:56,041
- Okay, it's fine.
- You know what?
422
00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:59,557
Maybe it's just time we admit to Pam
we haven't taught him a thing.
423
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:02,325
You know, I just...
I don't want to let him down.
424
00:16:02,414 --> 00:16:04,839
I-I've come to really enjoy
having him around.
425
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,272
I know, I know. Me too.
426
00:16:06,307 --> 00:16:08,007
But it's not like
we're bad at parenting.
427
00:16:08,043 --> 00:16:10,676
I mean, Lily turned out to be
a smart, sensitive little girl.
428
00:16:10,712 --> 00:16:13,312
Ugh! You're a disgrace to this family!
429
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,748
I don't think you heard me.
I'm over the bridge.
430
00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:17,710
I know. Now we're just catching up.
431
00:16:18,053 --> 00:16:19,886
Sorry I didn't win.
432
00:16:19,921 --> 00:16:22,255
Oh, no, no, no. You don't
have to apologize, okay?
433
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:23,860
No, no, you did just great.
434
00:16:23,885 --> 00:16:26,027
Oh! We're the ones
who need to do better.
435
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,057
And you know what? You give great hugs.
436
00:16:28,057 --> 00:16:29,923
Hey. We taught him that.
437
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:32,275
Well, too bad it isn't exactly a skill.
438
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:34,343
Yeah. Or is it?
439
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,893
Mutton busting?!
440
00:16:36,928 --> 00:16:37,994
Why? What is that?
441
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,630
It's a sheep rodeo for kids.
442
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,599
It's like you didn't even
have a childhood.
443
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:43,778
Come on!
444
00:16:44,102 --> 00:16:47,270
The hot dog eating contest is about to begin.
445
00:16:47,332 --> 00:16:48,865
Sorry I'm not in worse shape for this.
446
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,401
Don't worry about it, buddy.
You've had a lot on your mind.
447
00:16:51,436 --> 00:16:53,136
Any luck choosing your courses?
448
00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:54,337
Not yet.
449
00:16:54,372 --> 00:16:56,412
I don't really want
to talk about that right now.
450
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,293
Maybe you're putting
too much pressure on...
451
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,217
It's more than just
picking classes, okay?
452
00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:02,364
Can we just drop it and focus
on what we're doing here?
453
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,582
Yeah. Of course.
454
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,918
Exciting to be in the competition, huh?
455
00:17:09,954 --> 00:17:12,399
Instead of sitting up in the bleachers,
like the last three years?
456
00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:13,555
I guess.
457
00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:15,491
Scary, sure, but it does feel good
458
00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:17,092
putting our butts on the line.
459
00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:18,293
You lose 100%
460
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,195
of the hot-dog-eating contests
you don't enter.
461
00:17:20,231 --> 00:17:22,097
Dad, I know what your bumper sticker is,
462
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:23,932
and I know
what you're trying to do here.
463
00:17:23,968 --> 00:17:25,367
But college is different.
464
00:17:25,403 --> 00:17:28,370
I mean, you screw up at community
college, you're out of options.
465
00:17:28,497 --> 00:17:29,963
You're not gonna screw it up.
466
00:17:29,999 --> 00:17:32,599
I've messed up
a lot of things in my life.
467
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,967
I'm scared I'll do it again.
468
00:17:34,003 --> 00:17:35,769
- Good.
- What?
469
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,448
Being scared means you care.
470
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:40,184
Maybe... Maybe that's what's
been missing in the past.
471
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,434
It's the biggest thing
I've ever tried to do.
472
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,670
Contestants, ready position.
473
00:17:44,705 --> 00:17:46,582
Just take it one step at a time.
474
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,502
Don't worry about the 50
to hopefully 75 hot dogs
475
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:50,559
you're gonna eat.
476
00:17:50,595 --> 00:17:52,395
Just worry about
the dog in front of you.
477
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:54,989
And wet the buns.
478
00:17:55,024 --> 00:17:56,157
Eat!
479
00:17:58,261 --> 00:17:59,839
- Are we sure this is safe?
- Oh, my gosh, yes.
480
00:17:59,863 --> 00:18:01,173
The kids love it, the sheep love it.
481
00:18:02,265 --> 00:18:03,898
And I'm pretty sure it's too late.
482
00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:07,215
- Whoa!
- Hang on, Cal! Keep hugging!
483
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,973
Oh, my gosh. Pam is gonna be so excited.
484
00:18:09,008 --> 00:18:10,881
He's already busting
at a first-grade level.
485
00:18:12,263 --> 00:18:13,884
Ow. Ow!
486
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,654
Better get an X-ray.
You got trampled pretty bad.
487
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,306
Looks like that ankle's broken.
488
00:18:19,841 --> 00:18:21,040
Really, Jerry?
489
00:18:22,377 --> 00:18:24,603
Haley? What are you doing here?
490
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,038
Well, you tweeted you were working,
491
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,957
the water tower's in the back
of your Instagram story,
492
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,250
and you just left a Yelp rating
493
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,793
for that falafel place
around the corner,
494
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,819
so I figured out where you were.
495
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,819
Could you please stop
being so obsessed with me?
496
00:18:33,855 --> 00:18:34,780
Wait... what?
497
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,574
That thing that you said
at the hospital?
498
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,707
How if a person felt lucky
to be in a relationship,
499
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,387
that means that
they couldn't really be happy?
500
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,777
Obviously, you did that
501
00:18:41,812 --> 00:18:43,223
to try and ruin what I have with Arvin,
502
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,749
because you're not over me.
503
00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:47,059
I seriously don't know whether to laugh
504
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,794
or check you for a spider bite.
505
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,814
I'm sorry that you're
questioning your relationship,
506
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,273
but it's not my fault.
507
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,965
Just admit it!
508
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,010
You said that
to try and get back with me.
509
00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:58,652
Look, in my heart of hearts...
510
00:18:58,687 --> 00:19:00,921
which does not exist, by the way...
511
00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:03,951
yeah, I still think about us.
We were great.
512
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,910
- Aha!
- Nuh-ha!
513
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,289
You're the one who drove across town,
514
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,879
paid $12 for parking
515
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:12,043
and then an additional $2
for the yellow wristband
516
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,111
for beer and medical tent access.
517
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,930
It sounds like
you're the one who's into me.
518
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:17,907
You're crazy.
519
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,540
There's no crime in wondering
520
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,609
if we might still be good together.
521
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:24,311
I still see us together
in my mind's eye...
522
00:19:24,347 --> 00:19:26,707
- which, by the way, doesn't exist.
- I can't hear it again.
523
00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:30,778
Diagnosis... nothing.
524
00:19:40,261 --> 00:19:41,527
How was the parade?
525
00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:43,491
I had something more important to do.
526
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,433
Apple pie?
527
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,786
I got a few weird looks
at the drive-through,
528
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:50,481
but it was worth it to
help keep your tradition alive.
529
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,024
You mean Manny and me?
530
00:19:52,075 --> 00:19:53,541
It's not gonna happen, because...
531
00:19:53,576 --> 00:19:55,009
I've got that covered, too.
532
00:19:55,044 --> 00:19:56,304
Mm-hmm.
533
00:19:57,213 --> 00:19:58,446
♪ Ta-da! ♪
534
00:19:58,481 --> 00:20:00,324
Hi, Mom! I miss you!
535
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:01,757
Oh, Jay! That's perfect!
536
00:20:01,792 --> 00:20:03,091
Oh, it's not perfect yet.
537
00:20:05,929 --> 00:20:07,765
Should we really give the dangerous job
538
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,275
to my only smart one?
539
00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:14,477
Ohh!
540
00:20:14,716 --> 00:20:17,483
Happy Fourth of July, Papi!
541
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:19,675
I'll be home soon... before you know it.
542
00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:20,910
"Thomas Jefferson,
543
00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,912
who was sort of
the grand marshal of his time,
544
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:25,581
believed this country should be
a place where people are free
545
00:20:25,617 --> 00:20:28,044
to pursue happiness and a better life,
546
00:20:28,319 --> 00:20:31,714
where we can set our sights on the stars
547
00:20:32,223 --> 00:20:34,156
and, with hard work and determination...
548
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,860
...make the impossible a reality.
549
00:20:37,895 --> 00:20:38,995
No!
550
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,464
Because Americans
don't run from challenges.
551
00:20:41,499 --> 00:20:42,616
We embrace them.
552
00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:46,520
God bless America.
553
00:20:46,877 --> 00:20:48,439
Hold for applause."
554
00:20:48,979 --> 00:20:50,512
That would've killed, right?
555
00:20:50,547 --> 00:20:52,080
Bravo!
556
00:20:52,115 --> 00:20:54,749
You know, I gave up a lot today.
You could mean it.
557
00:20:56,197 --> 00:20:58,569
Never too late to start training
for next year!
558
00:20:58,594 --> 00:21:00,818
Let's loosen up first
with some exercises.
559
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:04,376
Lamalick. Dizzy Gillespie. Tiffy pop it.
560
00:21:04,401 --> 00:21:05,813
Hold it.
561
00:21:05,838 --> 00:21:08,334
- And out. Tiffy...
- Dad, I don't think I can ever eat
562
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:09,794
another hot dog again.
563
00:21:10,277 --> 00:21:12,229
Yeah, I thought you might feel this way.
564
00:21:12,446 --> 00:21:14,947
- Hey, you there?
- What?
565
00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:17,489
We're having some trouble getting
these bad boys down.
566
00:21:17,514 --> 00:21:19,962
I'm not surprised, you pathetic losers.
567
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,573
You two disgust me more
than what's in those hot dogs.
568
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:23,825
What's the hold up?
569
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,852
Are we saving our bodies
for bikini season, ladies?
570
00:21:27,770 --> 00:21:30,122
- She's good.
- She better be. She's expensive.
571
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:35,122
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
42184
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