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1
00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,649
Obviously,
this is the living room.
2
00:00:03,718 --> 00:00:05,543
There's a fully stocked bar
in the den,
3
00:00:05,612 --> 00:00:07,237
and the home theater is
downstairs.
4
00:00:07,306 --> 00:00:09,481
Wow. So, your boss launches
one style website
5
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,331
and she can afford all of this?
6
00:00:11,487 --> 00:00:13,101
I wish "1950s closeted father"
7
00:00:13,178 --> 00:00:15,121
was a look people were clamoring for.
8
00:00:15,190 --> 00:00:16,973
Oh, it is not that simple.
9
00:00:17,042 --> 00:00:19,557
The formula for NERP is
very specific...
10
00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:22,137
former actress plus
confidence based on nothing
11
00:00:22,206 --> 00:00:24,370
equals millions in sales
of iffy wellness products.
12
00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:26,457
We should get her a gift
for letting us stay here,
13
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,981
but what do you give someone
who's researching
14
00:00:28,049 --> 00:00:30,246
charcoal toothbrushes
in Sri Lanka?
15
00:00:30,315 --> 00:00:31,825
Oh, actually,
she's judging
16
00:00:31,894 --> 00:00:33,589
a placenta-cooking contest in Minsk.
17
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:36,128
Maybe we should stay away
from the fridge.
18
00:00:36,211 --> 00:00:37,739
So, we're in wine country.
19
00:00:37,808 --> 00:00:39,195
When does the wine
tasting start,
20
00:00:39,264 --> 00:00:40,485
because I can use it after
21
00:00:40,569 --> 00:00:42,059
the public bashing
I've had to endure.
22
00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:44,364
Here we go.
No more boo-hooing, Manny.
23
00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:45,628
The review wasn't that bad.
24
00:00:45,705 --> 00:00:47,667
He called my portrayal
of Inspector Poirot
25
00:00:47,736 --> 00:00:49,164
"unconvincing,"
"not believable,"
26
00:00:49,248 --> 00:00:51,347
"hard to buy,"
and "ironically redundant".
27
00:00:51,458 --> 00:00:52,503
Hey, Mitch, Cam,
28
00:00:52,572 --> 00:00:53,816
now that you guys have
had a chance
29
00:00:53,884 --> 00:00:55,339
to sleep on my performance,
30
00:00:55,408 --> 00:00:56,521
what did you think?
31
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,785
- It was a tricky part.
- Yeah, and I don't blame you.
32
00:00:58,871 --> 00:01:00,231
I blame whoever cast you.
33
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:01,302
Yeah.
34
00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:03,288
Okay,
a couple more things.
35
00:01:03,357 --> 00:01:05,519
Finally,
the closet part of the tour.
36
00:01:05,613 --> 00:01:10,175
My boss left each of you
a very special robe.
37
00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:12,006
They minimize inflammation
38
00:01:12,075 --> 00:01:14,097
and gently exfoliate
your skin
39
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:15,323
whilst you wear them.
40
00:01:15,392 --> 00:01:17,084
That's weird.
I only see six robes.
41
00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:18,448
That's what's weird about them?
42
00:01:18,517 --> 00:01:20,277
Oh, one last thing...
43
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,546
Do not touch the tiara
44
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,238
on display in the drawing room.
45
00:01:24,307 --> 00:01:26,128
It is very delicate.
46
00:01:26,197 --> 00:01:27,296
Got it?
47
00:01:27,365 --> 00:01:28,817
Sorry, honey. You're just...
You're doing that thing
48
00:01:28,885 --> 00:01:30,792
where you look like
a really intense baby deer.
49
00:01:30,861 --> 00:01:32,654
Oh, the scarier you try to be,
50
00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:34,964
- the more adorable you are.
- I know!
51
00:01:35,037 --> 00:01:36,121
Whatever. I have, like,
52
00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:37,752
a million errands to run
for my boss.
53
00:01:37,825 --> 00:01:39,753
Hang on.
Since, uh, no one's called dibs
54
00:01:39,822 --> 00:01:42,152
on the master bedroom,
I assume it's up for grabs.
55
00:01:42,221 --> 00:01:44,332
Oh, actually, there are only
three guest bedrooms upstairs,
56
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,376
so you'll have to sleep in
there, okay?
57
00:01:47,145 --> 00:01:48,355
The maid's quarters?
58
00:01:48,424 --> 00:01:50,238
But I'll be right next
to the creaky do...
59
00:01:50,307 --> 00:01:51,403
You know, if you want,
60
00:01:51,472 --> 00:01:54,081
- I can put some oil on that.
- Oh, no, no, no. Don't.
61
00:01:54,178 --> 00:01:56,722
These are traditional
Tibetan creaking hinges.
62
00:01:57,945 --> 00:01:59,144
We need those.
63
00:02:07,863 --> 00:02:11,074
*MODERN FAMILY*
Season 09 Episode 16
Episode Title: "Wine Weekend"
64
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,264
- Whoa. Go easy.
- Trust me, Dad.
65
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,630
Right now, I could really use this.
66
00:02:17,099 --> 00:02:18,223
I love Phil.
67
00:02:18,292 --> 00:02:20,138
Let's just get that
out of the way first,
68
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,849
but he has
these bear slippers.
69
00:02:21,923 --> 00:02:23,685
I don't know
where they came from,
70
00:02:23,754 --> 00:02:25,427
probably the same place
that sells
71
00:02:25,518 --> 00:02:28,013
pinky rings and other things
that make it difficult
72
00:02:28,117 --> 00:02:30,333
to see your husband
as a sexual being.
73
00:02:31,086 --> 00:02:33,748
Oh, my gosh.
I don't think, I'm allowed here
74
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,603
in my bare feet.
75
00:02:38,130 --> 00:02:39,711
Fortunately, I have a tactic
76
00:02:39,788 --> 00:02:41,316
for getting rid of things that I hate.
77
00:02:41,393 --> 00:02:43,177
I suggest that Phil
brings them on vacation,
78
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,435
and then I forget to
repack them.
79
00:02:45,504 --> 00:02:46,624
Thanks.
80
00:02:46,741 --> 00:02:48,169
Dollar-sign necktie...
81
00:02:48,246 --> 00:02:50,169
I flung it over Niagara Falls.
82
00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,602
The belt buckle
with "Pimp" in crystals?
83
00:02:52,735 --> 00:02:54,053
Chucked it in the Grand Canyon.
84
00:02:54,121 --> 00:02:55,831
Huh. I wonder
if that's what Gloria did
85
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,505
to my denim vest
in the Galápagos.
86
00:02:57,574 --> 00:02:59,272
I just gotta sneak out tonight
87
00:02:59,341 --> 00:03:01,661
and disappear those
bear slippers in the woods.
88
00:03:02,412 --> 00:03:03,528
Am I a terrible person?
89
00:03:03,597 --> 00:03:06,416
No, but there might be a pattern
of desecrating national parks
90
00:03:06,485 --> 00:03:08,185
you might want to look at.
91
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,115
That's enough, Chubs.
92
00:03:13,428 --> 00:03:14,638
What are you doing?
93
00:03:15,007 --> 00:03:16,966
Stella's been severely
depressed
94
00:03:17,092 --> 00:03:18,622
because her best friend,
Norman,
95
00:03:18,691 --> 00:03:21,115
the next-door neighbor's dog,
just died.
96
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:23,513
She won't even do
her favorite trick anymore.
97
00:03:23,689 --> 00:03:24,904
Stella.
98
00:03:25,026 --> 00:03:26,263
Stella, speak.
99
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:29,044
Speak.
Like you're saying "Hello".
100
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,071
Hellooo! Hel-Hellooo!
101
00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:33,439
Hello?
102
00:03:34,275 --> 00:03:36,526
I wanted to bring Stella
on the trip to cheer her up.
103
00:03:36,595 --> 00:03:39,229
She never sees seasons,
but Gloria wanted one night
104
00:03:39,298 --> 00:03:40,564
with just the two of us in bed,
105
00:03:40,633 --> 00:03:42,399
so I did the only
sensible thing.
106
00:03:42,517 --> 00:03:44,080
You left her at home
with a dog sitter?
107
00:03:44,149 --> 00:03:45,713
Checked her in the hotel
down the road.
108
00:03:45,782 --> 00:03:47,323
I'm trying to get some
wine in Gloria
109
00:03:47,392 --> 00:03:50,081
so she passes out early
and I can sneak off and feed Stella.
110
00:03:50,149 --> 00:03:52,009
The hotel down the road?
You mean the Ritz?
111
00:03:52,086 --> 00:03:53,532
I had points. Calm down.
112
00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:56,591
Oh, how cool. This is both
an opener and a stopper.
113
00:03:56,668 --> 00:03:57,705
Nice.
114
00:03:57,790 --> 00:03:59,064
Oh, I guess what it does
for bottles,
115
00:03:59,142 --> 00:04:00,985
it also does for
conversations.
116
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,485
Wait, is that... Ronaldo!
117
00:04:03,742 --> 00:04:05,314
Mitchell!
118
00:04:05,524 --> 00:04:07,181
What a surprise.
119
00:04:07,345 --> 00:04:09,064
And who is this?
120
00:04:09,277 --> 00:04:11,831
I always assumed
I was your sexiest Latin friend.
121
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,831
This is Gloria.
Gloria, Ronaldo.
122
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,462
- Bolivian?
- Guatemalan.
123
00:04:15,564 --> 00:04:17,290
- Venezuelan?
- Colombian.
124
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,549
- Mm-hmm.
- Not sure what this is.
125
00:04:19,618 --> 00:04:21,627
Um,
so w-what are you doing in town?
126
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:24,721
Oh, just picking up some wine
for a party I'm catering...
127
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:25,962
at Oprah Winfrey's.
128
00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:27,245
- What?
- Stop it!
129
00:04:27,314 --> 00:04:29,892
- Oh, what, is that a big deal?
- Don't you be coy.
130
00:04:30,009 --> 00:04:32,681
You know the power dynamic
just shifted between us.
131
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:35,174
If you want, I can get you two
into the party.
132
00:04:35,243 --> 00:04:37,549
- Get out!
- You would do that for us?
133
00:04:37,618 --> 00:04:39,142
Only because
I like you so much.
134
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,462
I like you so much, too!
135
00:04:41,576 --> 00:04:42,790
That was a quick thaw.
136
00:04:42,859 --> 00:04:45,017
It can only be the two of you,
though. No Cameron.
137
00:04:45,087 --> 00:04:46,120
Pepper would kill me.
138
00:04:46,189 --> 00:04:47,963
Right. Cam's in a feud
with Ronaldo's husband
139
00:04:48,032 --> 00:04:49,212
over what type of cracker
belongs on
140
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,891
- a cheese platter.
- Water cracker.
141
00:04:50,983 --> 00:04:52,539
The cheese is the star.
142
00:04:53,188 --> 00:04:54,479
- This isn't our fight.
- No.
143
00:04:54,548 --> 00:04:56,365
I have to run.
I'll text you the address.
144
00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:58,180
Okay. Bye-bye.
145
00:04:58,387 --> 00:05:00,749
Can you believe this?
We're going to a party at Oprah's.
146
00:05:00,818 --> 00:05:03,344
What if
we become friends with her?
147
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,805
What if
we get our own TV show?
148
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,916
Who's gonna pick up
Joe from school?!
149
00:05:07,985 --> 00:05:10,149
Gloria...
we'll have drivers.
150
00:05:11,238 --> 00:05:13,096
- Tuesday Company!
- Tuesday Company!
151
00:05:13,391 --> 00:05:15,666
Cam, Mitch, Claire, and I signed
up for a hip-hop class.
152
00:05:15,735 --> 00:05:17,352
We knew it was legit
when they asked us
153
00:05:17,461 --> 00:05:19,512
to graffiti our names
on the sign-up wall.
154
00:05:19,616 --> 00:05:21,274
Right leg, come on.
155
00:05:21,415 --> 00:05:23,619
Unh.
Wrap those arms, come on.
156
00:05:23,688 --> 00:05:24,967
Unh. Unh.
157
00:05:25,044 --> 00:05:26,672
And yah!
158
00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:29,705
I like it.
Nice job, everybody!
159
00:05:29,774 --> 00:05:30,877
Great. That's great.
160
00:05:30,946 --> 00:05:32,447
Hey, Sho Nuff.
Bomb class.
161
00:05:32,516 --> 00:05:33,681
Yeah, yeah. Really sick.
162
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,335
Hey, man. You two were hitting
it hard out there.
163
00:05:35,404 --> 00:05:36,743
I was really believing
your movements.
164
00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:38,828
Are you... saying we brought it?
165
00:05:38,946 --> 00:05:40,444
I'm saying y'all crushed it.
166
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,453
Keep it up. All right?
167
00:05:42,522 --> 00:05:43,541
- Okay.
- Hit it.
168
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,174
All right. There you go.
169
00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:47,952
- Cameron?
- Philip?
170
00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:50,274
- Did you hear that?
- You mean when our dance instructor
171
00:05:50,343 --> 00:05:52,310
told us we were basically
street-dance superstars?
172
00:05:52,379 --> 00:05:54,054
Did you notice
how he singled us out?
173
00:05:54,123 --> 00:05:56,318
He didn't even mention
Mitch or Claire.
174
00:05:56,396 --> 00:05:58,226
It's like he's saying
they're holding us back.
175
00:05:58,294 --> 00:05:59,443
Okay. You know what?
We need
176
00:05:59,512 --> 00:06:00,966
to shed our dead-weight
spouses.
177
00:06:01,052 --> 00:06:02,881
There is nobody
I would rather impress more
178
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:04,624
- than Sho Nuff.
- True dat.
179
00:06:04,693 --> 00:06:07,154
- No, True Dat's just the DJ.
- I don't care what he thinks.
180
00:06:07,387 --> 00:06:11,427
Turns out, Cam and I
make tremendous dance partners.
181
00:06:11,629 --> 00:06:13,333
Our bodies are so in tune,
182
00:06:13,402 --> 00:06:14,919
it's like we finish
each other's...
183
00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:16,107
sequences.
184
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,052
Phil starts a move,
and I instinctually complete it.
185
00:06:19,372 --> 00:06:21,458
And, yeah,
it's as powerful as it sounds.
186
00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:23,232
Oh, my gosh. Did you ever think
187
00:06:23,474 --> 00:06:24,756
a farm boy from Missouri
188
00:06:24,825 --> 00:06:26,756
and... and a real-estate agent
from Key West, Florida,
189
00:06:26,825 --> 00:06:28,156
would get
the opportunity to audition
190
00:06:28,224 --> 00:06:30,115
for the prestigious
Tuesday Company?
191
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,411
And it only costs slightly more
than regular classes.
192
00:06:32,536 --> 00:06:34,849
We could be the greatest
masters-level hip-hop duo
193
00:06:34,919 --> 00:06:36,857
- since Pump Up and The Jam!
- I know!
194
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,984
Callback's tomorrow,
so we'll have to sneak out tonight
195
00:06:39,052 --> 00:06:40,156
- for a final rehearsal.
- You...
196
00:06:40,224 --> 00:06:41,780
You brought the outfit
in case we got it, right?
197
00:06:41,848 --> 00:06:43,624
"In case"? Good one, Phil.
198
00:06:43,693 --> 00:06:46,474
I'm having a hard time resisting
dancing with joy, are you?
199
00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:48,294
- Me-Meet at the grapes.
- Okay.
200
00:06:48,544 --> 00:06:50,600
Man, it took forever
to find a parking spot.
201
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,246
I could really use a
sip of a chewy Cabernet.
202
00:06:53,315 --> 00:06:55,175
You can't drink.
You have to stay sober
203
00:06:55,252 --> 00:06:56,434
to drive the rest of us home.
204
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,662
Wait, is that why I'm here?
To be the designated driver?
205
00:06:58,730 --> 00:07:00,558
If you need a title, sure.
206
00:07:04,844 --> 00:07:06,235
Okay, the front door's too loud.
207
00:07:06,304 --> 00:07:08,110
We can get to the driveway
this way.
208
00:07:09,509 --> 00:07:12,168
Aah! I look like Miss Universe.
209
00:07:12,246 --> 00:07:14,663
What are you doing?
Haley said not to touch that.
210
00:07:14,732 --> 00:07:16,623
- Ow!
- Let me see.
211
00:07:16,787 --> 00:07:18,308
Clean cut.
212
00:07:18,385 --> 00:07:20,866
- Those are real diamonds!
- Leave 'em. Come on.
213
00:07:22,257 --> 00:07:25,538
- Cam, walk this way.
- Oh. Ooh, ooh, ooh!
214
00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:28,258
Mixing metals is very
in-fashion right now.
215
00:07:28,327 --> 00:07:29,539
No, no. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
216
00:07:29,608 --> 00:07:32,313
In 18 hours, Sho Nuff is gonna
be rating our dance skills
217
00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:35,257
on a scale of one to
"Dayum"! Come on!
218
00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:41,151
All right. All right.
219
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,908
Butt... here.
220
00:07:43,119 --> 00:07:44,712
Just one more treat.
221
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,004
Here.
222
00:07:48,413 --> 00:07:50,080
Shh.
We'll just do this quick.
223
00:07:50,181 --> 00:07:52,220
Shh. Here you go.
224
00:07:52,564 --> 00:07:54,577
Ha! Gorgeous!
225
00:07:55,473 --> 00:07:56,796
- Dad?
- Oh!
226
00:07:56,865 --> 00:07:58,336
Oh! I thought you were Gloria.
227
00:07:58,405 --> 00:07:59,686
Wh-Why is Stella here?
228
00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:01,366
I was going to feed her
at the hotel...
229
00:08:01,436 --> 00:08:02,984
she's clearly in a bad way.
230
00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:04,353
She trashed the room.
231
00:08:04,549 --> 00:08:06,307
It looked like The Who
was staying there.
232
00:08:06,405 --> 00:08:08,170
So, I'm gonna stash her
in the guesthouse,
233
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,971
brush her fur
until she goes to sleep.
234
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,170
Stella!
235
00:08:15,243 --> 00:08:16,300
What?
236
00:08:16,381 --> 00:08:17,944
I am prom queen?!
237
00:08:18,076 --> 00:08:19,656
It's not...
It's not Ashley Walls
238
00:08:19,725 --> 00:08:21,594
who got the pity vote
after her car accident?
239
00:08:21,796 --> 00:08:22,931
Thank you.
240
00:08:23,631 --> 00:08:24,752
Thank you.
241
00:08:24,899 --> 00:08:27,195
Okay. Now we need to be
strategic if we're gonna hit
242
00:08:27,265 --> 00:08:29,223
all of Oprah's important rooms, okay?
243
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,850
Her home office, her gift-wrapping room,
244
00:08:32,022 --> 00:08:34,897
her temperature-controlled vault
of cozy sweaters.
245
00:08:35,006 --> 00:08:36,796
But what if Gayle is there?
246
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:38,078
Do we stop to talk to her?
247
00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:40,475
No. No Gayle.
There's no time.
248
00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:42,467
Okay, that-that's the third house
249
00:08:42,561 --> 00:08:44,053
in this compound that we passed.
250
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:45,672
How will we know when we get
251
00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:47,475
to Oprah's actual hou...
252
00:08:49,189 --> 00:08:51,241
Oh, my God.
253
00:08:56,714 --> 00:08:58,047
Okay.
254
00:09:02,121 --> 00:09:06,058
♪♪
255
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:08,273
♪ Stop the beat ♪
256
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,933
♪♪
257
00:09:13,508 --> 00:09:15,203
I'm so sorry.
258
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:16,535
I'm sorry.
259
00:09:16,604 --> 00:09:19,062
- I was a beat early on the booty drop.
- No, no, no.
260
00:09:19,247 --> 00:09:21,137
It was me. I was a beat late
on the chest pop.
261
00:09:21,206 --> 00:09:23,294
It's weird, but I'm... I'm nervous.
262
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:24,778
I am, too.
But you know what?
263
00:09:24,847 --> 00:09:26,504
We... We just have to relax
264
00:09:26,573 --> 00:09:28,950
and remember we're...
we're just a couple guys dancing.
265
00:09:29,019 --> 00:09:30,505
Who are we kidding?!
266
00:09:30,574 --> 00:09:32,894
Getting Tuesday Company
would be epic!
267
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,247
I know! We get our own cubbies.
268
00:09:34,316 --> 00:09:36,356
We don't have to throw our
keys and wallet in the corner anymore.
269
00:09:36,425 --> 00:09:39,113
Didn't the Tuesdoggs perform at
the WNBA All-Star Game last year?
270
00:09:39,181 --> 00:09:41,511
It would be life-changing, but
we have to stop talking about
271
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:42,551
how great it would be.
272
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:43,897
- That's what's throwing us off.
- Right.
273
00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:45,813
- For now, it's... We're just... Hey.
- Hey.
274
00:09:45,882 --> 00:09:47,031
- Here's two guys...
- Dancing.
275
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,393
- We're dancing. Yeah.
- We're dancing.
276
00:09:48,461 --> 00:09:50,301
- Let's take it from the top. All right.
- Yep.
277
00:09:51,553 --> 00:09:54,523
Five, six, seven, eight, and...
278
00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:55,695
And that's my bad.
279
00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:57,156
Okay.
280
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:01,070
Where have you been? I turned
around and you were gone.
281
00:10:01,139 --> 00:10:03,203
I was in Oprah's bed!
282
00:10:03,539 --> 00:10:05,859
- Guess her sleep number.
- I don't have to.
283
00:10:06,227 --> 00:10:08,882
- I touched her. I touched Oprah!
- What?!
284
00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:09,954
Well, technically,
285
00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:11,868
I brushed the edge
of her gown with my finger.
286
00:10:11,937 --> 00:10:13,906
But look...
my cut's magically healed.
287
00:10:13,975 --> 00:10:16,352
And I heard
they have baby elephants
288
00:10:16,421 --> 00:10:18,579
carrying everyone
to the south lawn
289
00:10:18,648 --> 00:10:21,042
to see a living chess match.
Let's go!
290
00:10:21,119 --> 00:10:22,290
Wait, no, Gloria. Gloria, Come on.
291
00:10:22,359 --> 00:10:24,195
We said
we'd only stay for an hour.
292
00:10:24,295 --> 00:10:26,796
We have to get back
to our normal lives.
293
00:10:26,865 --> 00:10:29,359
- But how?!
- I know.
294
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:35,117
Leave them.
295
00:10:35,296 --> 00:10:38,289
Take it from me... if you get
a second chance at love,
296
00:10:38,358 --> 00:10:39,359
you grab it.
297
00:10:39,523 --> 00:10:42,181
After the trauma of losing
her best friend, Norman,
298
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,392
Stella's veil of depression
was lifted
299
00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:46,267
by the promise of
new romance.
300
00:10:46,336 --> 00:10:48,523
She realized
she could love again.
301
00:10:48,628 --> 00:10:50,015
You can't separate them,
Claire.
302
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,242
I'm taking that slipper home with me.
303
00:10:52,373 --> 00:10:55,045
And risk Phil seeing it the next
time we're at your house? Forget it.
304
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,134
Stella's had her fun.
This is over.
305
00:10:57,211 --> 00:10:59,369
Why is this so hard
for you to accept?
306
00:10:59,438 --> 00:11:01,763
Is it because
it's a dog and a slipper?
307
00:11:05,259 --> 00:11:09,145
♪♪
308
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,841
My bad.
309
00:11:18,997 --> 00:11:20,485
- Again.
- No, no. No, no.
310
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,730
That's on me. I'm... I'm...
I'm... I'm still in my head.
311
00:11:22,798 --> 00:11:24,335
Let's face it, Cam.
This isn't about nerves.
312
00:11:24,403 --> 00:11:26,241
It's about me losing
whatever spark I once had.
313
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,898
It's like someone sucked
the funk right out of me!
314
00:11:27,966 --> 00:11:30,765
No, I'm the problem. It's like I've lost
the key to the lock on my pop.
315
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:31,905
Just... go on without me.
316
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:34,170
I'm holding you back!
I mean, nuff is nuff.
317
00:11:34,239 --> 00:11:37,239
Maybe Rob Base was wrong.
It takes one to make a thing go right.
318
00:11:37,724 --> 00:11:39,888
- Is it possible...
- Just say it.
319
00:11:40,028 --> 00:11:41,888
That we're just Monday dancers?
320
00:11:48,223 --> 00:11:49,388
Is it better?
321
00:11:49,568 --> 00:11:51,232
No, I'm still getting
a hint of elephant.
322
00:11:51,301 --> 00:11:53,320
- Get out.
- W... I'm just being honest.
323
00:11:53,389 --> 00:11:56,411
No, we have to push the car
the last 50 feet to the house...
324
00:11:56,488 --> 00:11:58,583
so that they don't hear us
coming.
325
00:12:00,696 --> 00:12:03,169
I feel like some of Oprah's strength
must've rubbed off on me.
326
00:12:03,238 --> 00:12:04,662
I bet I could
carry this car up.
327
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:07,052
Are you sure this is in neutral?
328
00:12:08,341 --> 00:12:10,114
What is this?!
329
00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:13,661
Did you steal this candy dish
from Oprah's house?
330
00:12:13,825 --> 00:12:17,269
Aah! It has
her initials engraved.
331
00:12:17,346 --> 00:12:20,100
I couldn't help it.
I wanted a souvenir.
332
00:12:20,169 --> 00:12:22,644
But you said that we couldn't
bring any evidence in here,
333
00:12:22,721 --> 00:12:24,405
and you didn't even let me take
334
00:12:24,474 --> 00:12:26,491
the party napkin
that had a cartoon
335
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,419
of her hugging
children of many colors!
336
00:12:29,489 --> 00:12:30,624
Okay, I'm sorry.
337
00:12:30,701 --> 00:12:32,997
What if... What if we share
custody of the candy dish?
338
00:12:33,489 --> 00:12:34,686
Okay, fine.
339
00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:37,005
But I get it for the holidays.
340
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:38,997
Coming.
341
00:12:40,911 --> 00:12:44,052
Oh, hey, sorry. I forgot my keys
in the drawing room.
342
00:12:45,073 --> 00:12:46,765
Okay,
where did I put them?
343
00:12:46,842 --> 00:12:48,288
They were right here, right?
344
00:12:48,357 --> 00:12:50,405
And right
where I thought I left them.
345
00:12:50,474 --> 00:12:51,873
Wait a minute.
What is that?
346
00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:53,169
Oh, my God.
347
00:12:53,411 --> 00:12:55,022
Oh, my God!
The tiara! It's cracked!
348
00:12:55,091 --> 00:12:56,247
Who did this?!
349
00:12:56,341 --> 00:12:57,700
I'll get to the bottom of this.
350
00:12:57,771 --> 00:13:00,505
I don't care what some
feeble-minded vulgarian says.
351
00:13:00,574 --> 00:13:03,114
Manny Delgado knows how to play
the role of an inspector.
352
00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:05,777
- I'll text everyone to come downstairs.
- Thank you.
353
00:13:08,414 --> 00:13:09,438
No!
354
00:13:09,525 --> 00:13:10,565
Oh, no.
355
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:12,111
Oh, hell no.
356
00:13:12,607 --> 00:13:14,768
Okay. Wait, wait, Dad.
We need an excuse!
357
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,393
People are gonna wonder
why we weren't in bed.
358
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:18,604
Um, tell them that, uh, uh...
359
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,665
Oh! We were on the balcony
because we saw a moose.
360
00:13:20,743 --> 00:13:21,776
That's dumb.
361
00:13:21,845 --> 00:13:23,777
We'll tell them I'm heating up some milk
for you in the kitchen
362
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,203
because your stomach hurts.
363
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,796
Why? Because I was upset
that I saw a moose?
364
00:13:32,517 --> 00:13:33,955
Put this on.
365
00:13:34,525 --> 00:13:36,173
- I was early.
- I was late.
366
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:39,877
Hurry, hurry!
367
00:13:39,978 --> 00:13:43,314
Whew! I'm still getting
strong notes of elephant off of you.
368
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:45,728
- You may have to cut off all your hair.
- No!
369
00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:49,495
I'm sure you're wondering why
I've gathered you all here.
370
00:13:49,564 --> 00:13:51,933
Uh, the tiara's cracked.
You told us in your text.
371
00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:53,761
What I didn't tell you
is that I've vowed
372
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,433
to find out who's responsible.
373
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,051
Well, no, actually,
you did. It was a fairly long...
374
00:13:57,119 --> 00:13:59,222
Everyone's a suspect.
375
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:01,034
Don't look at me.
I wasn't anywhere near it.
376
00:14:01,103 --> 00:14:03,604
What a surprise...
Phil feigning innocence.
377
00:14:03,673 --> 00:14:05,728
You're just everyone's
favorite Dad, right?
378
00:14:05,854 --> 00:14:07,533
Where were you when you got my text?
379
00:14:07,602 --> 00:14:09,814
Cam's, uh,
stomach was upset,
380
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,775
and I was warming up
some milk for him.
381
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,784
- Claire saw a moose.
- I did.
382
00:14:13,861 --> 00:14:16,939
And that's why we were on
the balcony when you texted us.
383
00:14:17,134 --> 00:14:18,488
Well, Gloria and I were in the den.
384
00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:20,035
I ran into her
on my way out to my walk,
385
00:14:20,103 --> 00:14:21,746
and then we decided
to watch the moon together.
386
00:14:21,814 --> 00:14:22,831
The moon, huh?
387
00:14:22,908 --> 00:14:25,814
Seems unlikely given tonight
is moonless!
388
00:14:26,493 --> 00:14:27,755
No matter.
389
00:14:27,824 --> 00:14:31,478
So, did any of you go through
this room at any point?
390
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:35,487
Sounds to me like
everybody was inside
391
00:14:35,556 --> 00:14:37,183
doing whatever they were
supposed to be doing.
392
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:40,056
That's odd because I found
this door slightly open,
393
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:42,113
which means
one of you was outside.
394
00:14:42,337 --> 00:14:44,132
When I find out
who went out that door,
395
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,810
quite sure
I'll have my culprit.
396
00:14:45,957 --> 00:14:47,298
Hey, what's that?
397
00:14:49,353 --> 00:14:51,573
It appears to be two bottom halves
398
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:53,503
of a gingerbread man melded together.
399
00:14:53,572 --> 00:14:55,925
Uh, it looks like a bone.
It's a dog treat.
400
00:14:55,994 --> 00:14:57,728
No, it's a human treat,
401
00:14:57,916 --> 00:15:00,940
and it's shaped like
a bone because it's full of calcium.
402
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:02,698
I was snacking on them
earlier in the day
403
00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:04,564
and I must have dropped one.
404
00:15:06,521 --> 00:15:08,486
Mmm, they're delicious.
405
00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:10,509
And they're very good for you.
406
00:15:10,629 --> 00:15:11,878
Checks out.
407
00:15:12,847 --> 00:15:14,075
That's coming from upstairs!
408
00:15:14,152 --> 00:15:15,601
No, outside.
409
00:15:17,018 --> 00:15:18,933
Gloria, how did this happen?
410
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,197
I have a theory.
411
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:21,611
I once read about a moose
412
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,236
that knocked a camper
out of neutral.
413
00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:24,727
Perhaps the moose Claire saw
414
00:15:24,796 --> 00:15:26,304
earlier did the same thing
here.
415
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,705
The hood's warm. Then don't lean on it.
416
00:15:28,916 --> 00:15:32,103
I admit it! Mitch and I...
we were outside.
417
00:15:32,259 --> 00:15:34,206
He wanted to talk to me about a problem
418
00:15:34,275 --> 00:15:37,392
he's having with Cam in the gay bedroom.
419
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:38,894
Oh, so when
it's me, it's a problem.
420
00:15:38,962 --> 00:15:41,128
When it's you, it's what happens
when you work out too much.
421
00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:44,737
It got cold,
we went inside the car,
422
00:15:44,806 --> 00:15:46,073
I turned the heater on,
423
00:15:46,142 --> 00:15:49,558
and I must have accidentally
knocked it into neutral.
424
00:15:49,627 --> 00:15:51,684
So, it was all ready to roll
when the moose showed up.
425
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:54,205
Hey, uh, what's
this candy dish doing here?
426
00:15:54,339 --> 00:15:55,834
Haley, please,
I'm trying to think.
427
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,499
But it could be evidence.
428
00:15:57,576 --> 00:15:59,816
What are the lights doing on
in the tennis court?!
429
00:16:03,572 --> 00:16:05,284
Now why would these
chairs be out here,
430
00:16:05,353 --> 00:16:06,714
and how do they connect
to the moose?
431
00:16:06,782 --> 00:16:10,032
These footprints are in a...
really weird pattern.
432
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,010
Why do these steps feel so familiar?
433
00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:13,830
Cam and I were out here,
um...
434
00:16:13,899 --> 00:16:16,580
We were in the kitchen, and
we heard a raccoon outside.
435
00:16:16,649 --> 00:16:18,509
Yeah, yeah.
So, we came out, we...
436
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:21,190
we grabbed a couple chairs
to... to... to scare it off.
437
00:16:21,259 --> 00:16:23,392
We held... held them up like this,
438
00:16:23,485 --> 00:16:25,112
and, um, chased the raccoon,
439
00:16:25,181 --> 00:16:27,360
but it ran into some trash cans
and we were like...
440
00:16:27,429 --> 00:16:28,454
- Oh!
- Oh!
441
00:16:28,523 --> 00:16:29,853
And then, uh, it ran
up
442
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,003
- the court this way...
- Yep.
443
00:16:31,071 --> 00:16:32,416
And then back a couple of steps
444
00:16:32,485 --> 00:16:34,935
and then forward again and then it
did a little spin. - Yeah.
445
00:16:35,003 --> 00:16:37,603
Yep. That was it. And then it
came back at us, and we were like...
446
00:16:37,674 --> 00:16:39,816
- Right, left. Right, right,
- Right, left. Right, right,
447
00:16:39,884 --> 00:16:41,244
body roll, and spin.
448
00:16:41,313 --> 00:16:42,832
And then, it was just gone.
449
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:44,284
What the hell was that?
450
00:16:44,353 --> 00:16:46,776
What is any of this? I can't
make sense of these clues.
451
00:16:46,845 --> 00:16:49,238
What kind of raccoon isn't scared off by
the presence of a moose?
452
00:16:49,306 --> 00:16:50,557
All we need to know
453
00:16:50,626 --> 00:16:53,423
is that Mitchell, Gloria,
Cam, and Phil
454
00:16:53,516 --> 00:16:56,251
- are the four and only suspects.
- Not only!
455
00:16:57,710 --> 00:17:00,377
One at a time!
Phil, go first.
456
00:17:00,446 --> 00:17:01,877
Well, that's a lot of pressure.
457
00:17:01,946 --> 00:17:03,173
Speak!
458
00:17:03,498 --> 00:17:04,587
What is that noise?
459
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,180
It's like a dog saying, "Hello."
460
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:07,430
Sounds to me like
a California
461
00:17:07,499 --> 00:17:09,156
- barking moose.
- It came from up there.
462
00:17:10,649 --> 00:17:11,981
Hey.
463
00:17:12,383 --> 00:17:15,267
We were really in-sync talking
through that raccoon chase.
464
00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,034
It felt like maybe we
had our timing back again.
465
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:18,135
It really did.
466
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,283
Maybe we forgot dance isn't
about the fame or... or glory,
467
00:17:21,352 --> 00:17:24,119
but it's about telling a story that
takes your audience
468
00:17:24,196 --> 00:17:26,547
on a journey that
ebbs and flows.
469
00:17:26,835 --> 00:17:28,017
Ebb and Flow.
470
00:17:28,821 --> 00:17:31,016
I think we just found
our hip-hop names.
471
00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:35,516
Ohhh! Jay!
472
00:17:35,664 --> 00:17:37,555
- You brought Stella?!
- No!
473
00:17:37,631 --> 00:17:39,460
She must have tracked us here.
474
00:17:39,568 --> 00:17:41,133
What's that, girl?
475
00:17:41,468 --> 00:17:43,794
What? We left the stove on?
476
00:17:43,966 --> 00:17:45,737
- Well, that was weird.
- Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa.
477
00:17:45,805 --> 00:17:47,396
What is my slipper doing in here?
478
00:17:47,473 --> 00:17:49,422
I'm not wrong.
It's cold, huh?
479
00:17:49,494 --> 00:17:51,849
Hey. Honey...
480
00:17:52,199 --> 00:17:54,508
We need to talk about this.
481
00:17:55,956 --> 00:17:58,605
- Wow, um, Stella...
- She wants the slipper, Phil.
482
00:17:58,736 --> 00:17:59,779
Oh, my God.
483
00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:02,384
W-Why is Phil dressed
like a Beastie Boy?
484
00:18:02,453 --> 00:18:03,425
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
485
00:18:03,494 --> 00:18:06,550
You two did
hip-hop without us!
486
00:18:06,642 --> 00:18:08,419
Okay, be-because you and Claire
were holding us back.
487
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,464
Oh, please. We are
just as good as you are.
488
00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:12,051
It sounds like somebody
wants a dance-off.
489
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,239
No.
No one ever wants a dance-off.
490
00:18:14,308 --> 00:18:16,809
- Phil, why didn't you just tell me?
- Save it, Claire.
491
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,630
I know you put the hit out
on my bear slippers.
492
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,543
Those are just
very unsexy.
493
00:18:20,612 --> 00:18:22,871
Oh, 'cause you always
dress so sexy?
494
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:25,073
Let's check out this nightwear.
495
00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:29,926
Luke's junior high gym shorts,
and the drawstring is an old shoelace.
496
00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:31,856
Well, at least I'm not
one of those wives
497
00:18:31,925 --> 00:18:33,496
that spends
a fortune on lingerie.
498
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:35,535
I mean, look,
when the shoelace broke,
499
00:18:35,604 --> 00:18:37,402
I fixed it with a staple.
500
00:18:37,471 --> 00:18:39,606
Well, why don't we add a little spice
for our vacation?
501
00:18:39,674 --> 00:18:42,542
I mean, Gloria wears a floor-length,
beaded nightgown to bed.
502
00:18:42,659 --> 00:18:44,659
Wait a second.
No, she doesn't.
503
00:18:45,956 --> 00:18:47,517
Oh! Yes.
504
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,893
It looked very comfortable
on the website.
505
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,088
Wait a minute.
Gloria was with Mitchell.
506
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:53,816
What have
we got going on under here?!
507
00:18:53,885 --> 00:18:55,706
Okay, where were you going
looking so dapper?!
508
00:18:55,776 --> 00:18:57,627
Dapper? Really?
Aww...
509
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,549
Oh! Ooh!
Manny. Manny!
510
00:18:59,659 --> 00:19:02,253
Hey! Look what just fell out
of Uncle Mitch's pocket!
511
00:19:02,378 --> 00:19:03,975
A second candy dish...
512
00:19:04,052 --> 00:19:06,910
Hold up.
This is monogrammed.
513
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,339
"M.O."?
514
00:19:08,879 --> 00:19:11,057
You went to Michelle Obama's without me?
515
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,487
You went to
Oprah Winfrey's without me?!
516
00:19:14,807 --> 00:19:16,323
Gloria, is this true?
517
00:19:16,409 --> 00:19:18,526
You know how I feel about Oprah.
She changed my...
518
00:19:18,706 --> 00:19:19,714
Excuse me.
519
00:19:19,862 --> 00:19:22,323
She gave me the strength
to change my own life!
520
00:19:22,391 --> 00:19:24,391
Cam, you...
521
00:19:27,214 --> 00:19:28,424
Stop. Stop!
522
00:19:28,493 --> 00:19:29,839
Stop!!
523
00:19:30,264 --> 00:19:32,230
Have we all forgotten
that somebody
524
00:19:32,299 --> 00:19:34,090
cracked my boss's tiara?!
525
00:19:34,159 --> 00:19:35,348
I could get fired!
526
00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:36,715
Well, I touched it once,
527
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,627
so I might have done it.
I'll pay for it.
528
00:19:38,704 --> 00:19:40,508
Hold on.
Cam and I messed with it, too.
529
00:19:40,577 --> 00:19:41,752
- I put it on my hand.
- I tried it.
530
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:43,298
- Me, too.
- Okay, okay, obviously,
531
00:19:43,367 --> 00:19:45,500
everybody monkeyed around
with it, so we'll all chip in.
532
00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:46,687
Really?
533
00:19:46,797 --> 00:19:48,040
- Yes!
- Thank you, guys.
534
00:19:48,109 --> 00:19:49,533
Yeah, let's go to bed!
535
00:19:50,517 --> 00:19:53,400
Listen, not to take Phil's side, but you
could wash those shorts
536
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,335
'cause I'm getting a strong
whiff of elephant.
537
00:19:55,418 --> 00:19:56,469
Uh.
538
00:19:57,273 --> 00:19:58,992
Thanks for trying to help, Manny.
539
00:19:59,141 --> 00:20:01,945
I guess we'll really never know
who broke that tiara.
540
00:20:02,296 --> 00:20:03,754
I broke the tiara.
541
00:20:03,886 --> 00:20:05,668
I was alone at the house
the night before
542
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,629
doing a little private wine tasting.
543
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,594
I made a website,
544
00:20:09,671 --> 00:20:12,233
and I tell people how to live.
545
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:14,465
Get a latte enema.
546
00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:16,242
Drink ocean water.
547
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:17,453
Oh.
548
00:20:18,437 --> 00:20:19,510
Ooh...
549
00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:22,281
I knew if I said to my family,
"Do not touch",
550
00:20:22,406 --> 00:20:24,564
one of those bozos
would have to try it on
551
00:20:24,633 --> 00:20:27,258
and then think
they cracked it themselves.
552
00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:30,367
That's right. I'm a little
smarter than people think.
553
00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:33,656
But lucky, too. That moose
almost ruined everything.
554
00:20:34,595 --> 00:20:36,059
You know,
there's no sense denying it.
555
00:20:36,127 --> 00:20:37,750
Life, as we know it,
has changed.
556
00:20:37,844 --> 00:20:40,711
Yeah, yeah. From now on,
you'll be dancing on Tuesdays.
557
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,294
Oh, Ronaldo's FaceTiming.
558
00:20:43,668 --> 00:20:44,859
Hey, guys.
559
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,789
So, uh, listen.
560
00:20:47,031 --> 00:20:48,609
Oprah knows about the candy dish.
561
00:20:48,678 --> 00:20:50,390
I don't know
what you're talking about.
562
00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:53,435
There are cameras, Mitchell!
You need to bring it back.
563
00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:54,540
Where are you?
564
00:20:54,609 --> 00:20:57,883
I'm still here at Oprah's,
under my own free will.
565
00:20:58,109 --> 00:21:01,767
And I will probably
stay here in this tower
566
00:21:01,836 --> 00:21:04,070
until she gets her dish back.
567
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,500
It's quite meaningful.
She stole it from...
568
00:21:08,328 --> 00:21:11,250
got it as a gift
from Michelle Obama.
569
00:21:12,117 --> 00:21:13,797
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
570
00:21:13,866 --> 00:21:16,164
We have Michelle Obama's
candy dish.
571
00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:18,047
Oprah Winfrey has our number.
572
00:21:18,342 --> 00:21:21,092
- Oh, ho, ho, ho, okay!
- Okay! Okay!
42718
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