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1
00:00:01,052 --> 00:00:05,132
Behold the Quantum Flux.
A magic portal to the past,
2
00:00:05,147 --> 00:00:07,967
what some might call
a "Time Machine."
3
00:00:08,139 --> 00:00:09,952
This is where you guys go "Oooh."
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,031
- No, thank you.
- Just get on with it.
5
00:00:11,088 --> 00:00:12,252
"Ooh," indeed.
6
00:00:12,310 --> 00:00:14,537
I'm throwing Dad and Gloria's
10th anniversary party,
7
00:00:14,595 --> 00:00:16,052
and Phil is
part of the entertainment.
8
00:00:16,087 --> 00:00:18,155
I'm gonna make Gloria
seemingly dematerialize,
9
00:00:18,213 --> 00:00:19,983
then wondrously travel
back through time,
10
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:22,225
and then rematerialize
in her wedding dress.
11
00:00:22,327 --> 00:00:23,812
She's gonna change
her clothes in a box.
12
00:00:23,869 --> 00:00:25,520
This is why I'm nervous
about you introducing me.
13
00:00:25,577 --> 00:00:27,662
I'm kidding!
You're gonna be great.
14
00:00:27,787 --> 00:00:30,678
He better be great.
I want Dad and Gloria's party
15
00:00:30,736 --> 00:00:31,874
to be perfect.
16
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,858
I was
kind of a pill at their wedding.
17
00:00:33,916 --> 00:00:35,912
I hadn't fully accepted
Gloria yet.
18
00:00:35,975 --> 00:00:38,702
And I feel a little responsible
for what happened with my mom.
19
00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:41,412
I fed her, like, three drinks
at the reception.
20
00:00:41,478 --> 00:00:42,890
You know,
just to take the edge off.
21
00:00:42,947 --> 00:00:45,873
I'm Gloria! Kiss me!
Oh, hey, kiss me!
22
00:00:46,858 --> 00:00:49,569
No, no! Oh, geez! Mom! Mom!
23
00:00:49,627 --> 00:00:51,202
She almost took
the doorframe off.
24
00:00:51,334 --> 00:00:53,780
Into the wormhole she goes.
25
00:00:53,883 --> 00:00:57,764
Clocks turn backwards,
calendar pages re-attach themselves,
26
00:00:57,873 --> 00:01:02,037
and behold!
The beautiful bride!
27
00:01:03,108 --> 00:01:06,272
Guys! This isn't exciting to you?
Use your imaginations.
28
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:10,030
Picture me standing
next to Gloria in a wedding dress.
29
00:01:10,327 --> 00:01:11,655
We're done.
30
00:01:12,428 --> 00:01:13,982
Mitchell,
did you get the cake?
31
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,487
Yeah, yeah. I got everything.
32
00:01:15,545 --> 00:01:17,051
Okay, good.
I'll have to meet you at Dad's.
33
00:01:17,108 --> 00:01:19,139
I need to go with Phil
to pick up his magic box.
34
00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,342
Oh, and, hey, you told Phil not to
mention the trick to Cam, right?
35
00:01:22,537 --> 00:01:24,183
If Cam finds out,
he's just gonna want us
36
00:01:24,241 --> 00:01:25,729
to do some kind of performance,
too.
37
00:01:25,787 --> 00:01:27,561
Pretty sure I told him
not to say anything.
38
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:31,101
♪♪
39
00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,575
Yeah,
pretty sure you didn't.
40
00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:35,569
♪♪
41
00:01:35,627 --> 00:01:37,866
♪♪
42
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,226
♪♪
43
00:01:40,284 --> 00:01:43,726
♪♪
*MODERN FAMILY*
Season 09 Episode 06
Title: "Ten Years Later"
44
00:01:45,483 --> 00:01:46,880
So, uh, what's all this?
45
00:01:46,938 --> 00:01:48,638
This is redemption.
46
00:01:48,756 --> 00:01:50,280
Maybe just a straight answer.
47
00:01:50,338 --> 00:01:52,131
The year was 2007.
48
00:01:52,228 --> 00:01:54,584
The wedding reception
of Jay and Gloria.
49
00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:57,666
Our gift to the newlyweds
was a duet performance
50
00:01:57,724 --> 00:01:59,428
- of "Islands in the Stream."
- "Islands in the Stream."
51
00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:02,256
- A gift that would never be, because...
- I remember.
52
00:02:02,359 --> 00:02:04,651
I fed my mom a few drinks
at the reception.
53
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:07,224
I really did not want to sing,
so I figured
54
00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:09,771
if I got her a little tipsy,
I wouldn't have to perform
55
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,455
because I'd have
to hold her hand...
56
00:02:11,513 --> 00:02:13,646
No, no, no! Oh, geez!
57
00:02:13,704 --> 00:02:15,031
Mom, Mom!
58
00:02:15,089 --> 00:02:16,919
And later hold her hair back.
59
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,560
Well, your family has wondered
for 10 years "What if?"
60
00:02:19,618 --> 00:02:21,849
Today, they find out what for.
61
00:02:21,907 --> 00:02:23,462
Mm, I don't know, Cam.
62
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:24,529
I'm a little rusty,
63
00:02:24,587 --> 00:02:26,743
and acoustics are never good
inside a tent.
64
00:02:26,801 --> 00:02:28,865
And, oh! This party isn't about us.
65
00:02:28,923 --> 00:02:30,790
There's a whole slate of performers.
66
00:02:30,848 --> 00:02:32,080
Gloria's changing in a box.
67
00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:33,938
Which makes our medley
all the more welcome.
68
00:02:33,997 --> 00:02:37,826
It's a medley now? No! No.
In no way, shape, or form
69
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:40,224
am I performing today in front
of my judgmental family.
70
00:02:40,318 --> 00:02:43,732
- Fine. We'll just... go to the party.
- Thank you.
71
00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:45,537
- No medley.
- Exactly.
72
00:02:45,794 --> 00:02:48,427
- Wait. This isn't a trick...
- Just three un-related songs.
73
00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:50,658
You just agreed.
Rehearsal starts right now.
74
00:02:50,716 --> 00:02:53,592
- Jump in when you're ready.
- ♪♪ Mid-Tempo Rhythm Plays...
75
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:55,537
♪♪
76
00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:58,937
Why are you cooking?
77
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,461
Are you allowed back there?
78
00:03:00,519 --> 00:03:03,120
It's our anniversary. Can't I do
something nice for your mother?
79
00:03:03,194 --> 00:03:04,860
Maybe.
80
00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:06,087
Morning, beautiful.
81
00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:08,388
We have huevos, we have chorizo,
we have tortilla.
82
00:03:08,475 --> 00:03:09,942
What we ain't got is Manny.
83
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,990
Unfortunately, he's gonna be
a no-show at the party today.
84
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,325
Aha.
85
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,714
What can I get you?
86
00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:19,107
Take that garbage away from me.
I'm going for a walk.
87
00:03:20,561 --> 00:03:22,428
Manny was a big
part of our wedding.
88
00:03:22,489 --> 00:03:24,957
He walked Gloria down the aisle,
did the calligraphy.
89
00:03:25,060 --> 00:03:27,690
And I knew him not showing up
to our anniversary party
90
00:03:27,748 --> 00:03:29,693
would put
Gloria in a bad mood.
91
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,162
In some ways, I feel responsible.
92
00:03:35,576 --> 00:03:37,169
You're home again?
93
00:03:37,326 --> 00:03:38,565
You're in college.
94
00:03:38,623 --> 00:03:40,080
You can't come back every weekend!
95
00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:41,705
- So no hug?
- I love you,
96
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,839
but you're not making the most
of your college experience
97
00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:45,127
by being here all the time.
98
00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:47,314
My father dropped me off
my freshman year,
99
00:03:47,372 --> 00:03:48,964
and I didn't see him again
till the spring.
100
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,339
- You want to know why?
- I don't know.
101
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,737
Something about dames and fistfights?
102
00:03:51,794 --> 00:03:53,576
Exactly. Too busy making friends,
103
00:03:53,638 --> 00:03:55,658
chasing skirts,
and things of that nature.
104
00:03:55,716 --> 00:03:57,689
But your mother and I think
it's bad for you
105
00:03:57,747 --> 00:03:58,869
to be here all the time.
106
00:03:58,927 --> 00:04:01,174
So hit the road,
and we'll see you at Thanksgiving.
107
00:04:01,232 --> 00:04:02,838
Wait. I'm banned from my house?
108
00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,716
Don't think of it that way.
109
00:04:04,826 --> 00:04:06,513
You're banned from my house.
110
00:04:08,841 --> 00:04:11,622
Technically, Gloria
was not in on this decision,
111
00:04:11,779 --> 00:04:13,466
in the sense that...
112
00:04:13,677 --> 00:04:15,818
she was not in on this decision.
113
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:17,990
Ruff, ruff, ruff!
114
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,146
I was a little grumpy.
115
00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:24,818
I had agreed to do this magic trick
at the party with Phil.
116
00:04:24,943 --> 00:04:28,787
I go into a box, and then I come out
in my wedding dress.
117
00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:30,322
But there was a problem.
118
00:04:30,505 --> 00:04:31,692
Pull!
119
00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,724
She won't budge!
120
00:04:33,927 --> 00:04:37,496
The only logical explanation
is that somebody snuck into my closet
121
00:04:37,564 --> 00:04:39,464
and shrunk my wedding dress.
122
00:04:39,701 --> 00:04:41,869
Like, probably my sister.
123
00:04:41,927 --> 00:04:43,127
So for the past week,
124
00:04:43,185 --> 00:04:45,193
I've had to,
like, get even skinnier
125
00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,294
than I was at my wedding.
126
00:04:47,703 --> 00:04:49,154
Oh, shut up.
127
00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:54,283
Be cool.
128
00:04:54,341 --> 00:04:55,471
Phil, it's a magic shop.
129
00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:57,697
I'm the coolest person
that's ever been in here.
130
00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:01,880
Oh!
131
00:05:03,091 --> 00:05:04,576
How does he do it?
132
00:05:04,792 --> 00:05:06,451
I'm kidding.
I know how he does it.
133
00:05:06,521 --> 00:05:08,846
Claire, meet the legendary
Mister Ekshun.
134
00:05:08,904 --> 00:05:11,716
- Hello.
- And what's this behind your ear?
135
00:05:11,849 --> 00:05:13,807
Oh, just some sweater fluff.
136
00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:16,896
Well, the place looks great.
Can you imagine coming here every day?
137
00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,794
I wish it was every day.
138
00:05:18,872 --> 00:05:21,775
I have less and less time
for the old Illusionatorium,
139
00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:23,649
with all the road jobs
I still book.
140
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,416
Would you mind quickly
walking me through
141
00:05:25,474 --> 00:05:27,341
- the Quantum Flux Illusion?
- Uh-huh.
142
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:31,786
Well, according to magic bylaws,
I can't disclose the secret
143
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:35,025
in the presence
of a non-licensed magician.
144
00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:37,119
Not a problem.
I can just step outside.
145
00:05:37,177 --> 00:05:40,638
Nonsense!
We prepare for such things.
146
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:44,326
Aaaah!
The old sensory-deprivation helmet.
147
00:05:44,384 --> 00:05:45,799
- Oh!
- I put that baby on,
148
00:05:45,857 --> 00:05:47,744
it's almost like
I don't have roommates.
149
00:05:47,802 --> 00:05:49,724
Yeah, I, like I said,
could just step out...
150
00:05:49,794 --> 00:05:51,318
Outside would be fine.
151
00:05:52,646 --> 00:05:55,818
- She's lovely.
- Yeah. I'm super lucky.
152
00:05:56,474 --> 00:05:58,638
Thank you so much
for helping me with this.
153
00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:01,294
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't have this life
154
00:06:01,372 --> 00:06:03,041
if you hadn't turned down
the magician gig
155
00:06:03,099 --> 00:06:04,947
on that Ixtapa cruise years ago.
156
00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:06,775
What?
I-I was never offered that job.
157
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,752
Yeah, they said they called you
and never heard back,
158
00:06:09,810 --> 00:06:11,583
so they moved on to me.
159
00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,372
I never got that call!
160
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:14,447
Oh!
161
00:06:14,516 --> 00:06:17,064
I couldn't breathe!
I couldn't breathe!
162
00:06:17,122 --> 00:06:19,427
Well, you forgot
to turn on the ventilator.
163
00:06:19,552 --> 00:06:20,904
That was supposed to be my job?
164
00:06:21,098 --> 00:06:22,119
No.
165
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,677
This was supposed to be my job.
166
00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:26,807
I look stupid.
167
00:06:26,865 --> 00:06:28,877
Hey, you see what a bad mood
your mother's in?
168
00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:31,122
That's because she misses Manny.
Today, you're Manny.
169
00:06:31,251 --> 00:06:32,857
But wouldn't she miss
Joe then?
170
00:06:32,927 --> 00:06:34,025
Don't overthink.
171
00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:36,033
Just go in there,
act all heartsick,
172
00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,972
and tell her you want to have high tea.
173
00:06:39,927 --> 00:06:43,154
Hey, Mom.
Why are girls such a mystery?
174
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,502
Have a scone!
175
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,357
Get out of here.
I cannot even look at that.
176
00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:50,490
Yikes!
177
00:06:50,787 --> 00:06:53,396
Shake it off. That's okay.
That's a good first try.
178
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,066
Go grab his pan flute!
179
00:06:57,021 --> 00:06:58,707
How's my bride?
180
00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,240
Ay! So big now.
181
00:07:01,302 --> 00:07:03,041
I know.
It snuck up on me, too.
182
00:07:03,099 --> 00:07:05,599
But remember, letting go
is a natural part of life.
183
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,971
No. It's terrible, Jay.
184
00:07:08,029 --> 00:07:11,802
And sending Joe in here
with scones made it worse!
185
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,396
Silencio, Fulgencio!
186
00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:21,709
♪ That old black magic ♪
♪ has me in its spell ♪
187
00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:25,835
♪ That old black magic ♪
♪ that you weave so well ♪
188
00:07:25,893 --> 00:07:28,674
- Take it, Daddy!
- ♪♪ Drum solo...
189
00:07:29,788 --> 00:07:31,630
Oh! Hi, Mitchell.
190
00:07:31,665 --> 00:07:34,957
You know what? I def traded up
with Lily. I'm glad you backed out.
191
00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:37,129
Lily, why don't you
go rest your instrument?
192
00:07:37,215 --> 00:07:40,384
So, uh, just to break down
this "foolproof" plan,
193
00:07:40,442 --> 00:07:42,106
you thought
this would make me so jealous
194
00:07:42,176 --> 00:07:44,207
that I'd beg to be back
in the act, didn't you?
195
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:47,434
Um, no. I just found a younger talent
that I clicked with.
196
00:07:47,606 --> 00:07:50,754
Okay, well, I look forward
to watching you two perform.
197
00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:54,735
Well, I envy you
getting to watch us perform.
198
00:07:55,044 --> 00:07:57,663
Lily, sweetheart, get in here!
The rehearsal's not over!
199
00:07:58,184 --> 00:08:00,907
Y-Y-Yeah, time's a-wasting,
my little thrush!
200
00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:03,126
And hurry!
The party starts real soon!
201
00:08:03,223 --> 00:08:04,981
Okay, you know what?
You win.
202
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:07,762
You know I'm never taking
the stage with that screech owl.
203
00:08:07,942 --> 00:08:10,528
Just sing. It would be
very important for you.
204
00:08:11,036 --> 00:08:12,376
- For me?
- Yes.
205
00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:16,520
Your family has been entranced
by my performances many times.
206
00:08:16,614 --> 00:08:18,848
I don't need this,
but over the last 10 years,
207
00:08:18,911 --> 00:08:21,938
I've watch you shrink
in their presence.
208
00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:23,565
And you love to sing.
209
00:08:23,672 --> 00:08:24,695
I like it fine.
210
00:08:24,753 --> 00:08:26,185
And when we go out,
you're the first person
211
00:08:26,242 --> 00:08:29,156
to grab the karaoke mic
and scat the night away,
212
00:08:29,214 --> 00:08:31,703
and you're good at it.
You know what people are calling you?
213
00:08:31,766 --> 00:08:32,844
Mnh-mnh.
214
00:08:32,981 --> 00:08:34,081
"Fella Fitzgerald."
215
00:08:34,149 --> 00:08:35,445
They do not!
216
00:08:35,578 --> 00:08:36,758
Yes, they do.
217
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,663
And just once, I would love
to watch your talent soar
218
00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:42,388
in front of your family
and shut them up for good.
219
00:08:42,446 --> 00:08:44,299
- But if you don't want to...
- You know what? Screw it.
220
00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:45,879
I don't even care that
I'm mostly sure you're
221
00:08:45,936 --> 00:08:47,930
manipulating me right now.
We're doing this.
222
00:08:47,988 --> 00:08:49,747
I knew you'd come around.
Welcome back to the act.
223
00:08:49,804 --> 00:08:52,059
Okay, now,
this is a bit much for me.
224
00:08:52,145 --> 00:08:53,708
So...
225
00:08:56,457 --> 00:08:59,364
Hey, Beardy.
Have you seen Manny Delgado?
226
00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:01,856
I think the make-out king
is a little occupied.
227
00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:09,801
Have you no respect
for the ascot?!
228
00:09:11,121 --> 00:09:12,274
What are you doing here?
229
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,310
I need you to come
to our anniversary party.
230
00:09:14,378 --> 00:09:15,837
I thought I was
persona non grata.
231
00:09:15,895 --> 00:09:17,923
Now I'm halfway
into flagrante delicto.
232
00:09:17,981 --> 00:09:19,137
This, I don't miss.
233
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,563
Your mother is upset
you're not gonna be there.
234
00:09:21,621 --> 00:09:23,603
Well, then maybe she shouldn't
have banished me from the house.
235
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,992
I may have accidentally
led you to believe
236
00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:27,688
that she was
part of that decision,
237
00:09:27,782 --> 00:09:29,446
- when actually...
- I knew it!
238
00:09:29,547 --> 00:09:31,804
I knew my mom wouldn't be
that mean to her little papi.
239
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:32,927
Manny?
240
00:09:32,985 --> 00:09:34,372
One minute, baby.
241
00:09:34,430 --> 00:09:36,368
- That's been working?
- Shut up.
242
00:09:36,446 --> 00:09:39,146
So, I've been icing my mother
for a week because of you?
243
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,646
She must think I'm the worst son.
244
00:09:40,704 --> 00:09:42,153
Then come home and
make her day.
245
00:09:42,211 --> 00:09:45,060
I'm not dropping everything
to come home and bail you out.
246
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,195
Tomorrow, maybe...
247
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,497
and I'm telling her
you're the reason
248
00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:48,732
- I haven't been around.
- Hold on. Hold on.
249
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,252
It's better
if she hears it from me.
250
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,576
I just have to spin it
251
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,948
as if it's something
I did in your best interest.
252
00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:56,846
And I'm supposed to back that up
like I'm somehow better off because...
253
00:09:56,904 --> 00:09:59,996
- Where'd you go, baby bear?
- Coming, baby bear.
254
00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:02,176
You're welcome.
But two baby bears?
255
00:10:02,274 --> 00:10:03,496
I'm new at this.
256
00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:06,743
- Hey, Claire. Quick question.
- Uh-huh.
257
00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:09,832
I see that you only have
Mitch and I down for one song.
258
00:10:09,894 --> 00:10:11,471
Which isn't enough time
to tell a story.
259
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,254
So we would be willing to cut
our set list to six songs.
260
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,587
Cool. So we'll keep it at one?
261
00:10:15,645 --> 00:10:17,621
- Okay, so five quick songs, then?
- One song.
262
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,477
Okay, I would be willing to close this
right now at three songs.
263
00:10:20,535 --> 00:10:22,118
One quick song, and if you so much
264
00:10:22,176 --> 00:10:24,598
as begin to introduce the band,
I'll cut the power off.
265
00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:27,157
Okay, that is not the way
you talk to talent.
266
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,433
Gloria?
267
00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:32,176
I'm in the bathroom!
Come in!
268
00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:34,160
Oh, uh...
269
00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:36,061
It's... It's Phil.
270
00:10:36,325 --> 00:10:37,463
Come in!
271
00:10:38,058 --> 00:10:40,598
- Phil Dunphy.
- Phil!
272
00:10:41,981 --> 00:10:43,569
Hey.
273
00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,848
The dress is in that bag over there.
274
00:10:45,927 --> 00:10:48,514
Oh, great. I'll hide it
in the back of the time machine.
275
00:10:48,572 --> 00:10:50,338
You, uh...
276
00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:52,329
You got a big wrestling match coming up?
277
00:10:52,398 --> 00:10:53,964
I am having a bad day.
278
00:10:54,042 --> 00:10:55,693
I don't feel like doing
the chitchatting.
279
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,250
Not having a great day myself.
280
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,048
Missed a phone call 15 years ago
281
00:10:59,106 --> 00:11:01,348
that could have launched
a second career as a magician.
282
00:11:01,645 --> 00:11:02,832
I could've had it all.
283
00:11:02,988 --> 00:11:05,083
Realtor by day, magician by night.
284
00:11:05,177 --> 00:11:07,396
Just like the hero of that rock opera
I never finished.
285
00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:09,630
Phil, this feels like the chitchatting.
286
00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:11,614
Well, I should probably get going.
287
00:11:11,747 --> 00:11:13,552
The steam's starting
to pucker up my suit.
288
00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:16,005
Whew! Done.
289
00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:18,130
It's the same suit
I wore to your wedding.
290
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:20,395
Can't believe
how loose it's gotten.
291
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:25,190
And now it is my pleasure
292
00:11:25,274 --> 00:11:28,174
to bring up the first of
our very special entertainers.
293
00:11:28,232 --> 00:11:32,542
Here to perform one song,
Cameron and Mitchell.
294
00:11:33,737 --> 00:11:35,237
Just relax.
295
00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:40,390
Okay, now, remember...
it's just like karaoke.
296
00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:41,547
Yeah, yeah, I-I got it. I got it.
297
00:11:41,604 --> 00:11:43,383
Sing a little
and then throw to the drum solo.
298
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,080
Okay. Okay.
299
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:46,929
♪♪ "That old black magic" plays...
300
00:11:46,987 --> 00:11:49,284
♪ That old black magic ♪
301
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,546
♪ Has me in its spell ♪
302
00:11:52,616 --> 00:11:56,538
♪ That old black magic that you ♪
303
00:11:56,730 --> 00:11:58,546
♪ Weave so well ♪
304
00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:04,231
♪ Icy fingers up and down my spine ♪
305
00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:10,143
♪ The same old witchcraft ♪
♪ when your eyes meet mine ♪
306
00:12:10,244 --> 00:12:12,580
Take it, piano guy!
307
00:12:13,377 --> 00:12:14,542
♪ Be-Ba-da Ba-Ba-da-doop ♪
308
00:12:14,611 --> 00:12:17,447
♪ Bop-da-boop Ba-da-baaa ♪
♪ Ba-Ba-da-baa ♪
309
00:12:17,525 --> 00:12:18,908
Look at him go.
310
00:12:19,096 --> 00:12:21,228
You know,
he was raised a mama's boy.
311
00:12:21,299 --> 00:12:23,385
Now he's a strong, capable man
312
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,210
making nonsense noises that
sound a lot like instruments.
313
00:12:26,322 --> 00:12:29,315
Let's hear that guitar weep!
314
00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:33,271
♪ Waah-waah-waah ♪
315
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:35,307
♪ Waah-waah-waah waaaaahh ♪
316
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,708
♪ Waah-whoa ♪
317
00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:40,229
And there is someone
that we haven't heard from yet.
318
00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,612
Take a walk with me,
Mr. Bass Man.
319
00:12:42,704 --> 00:12:44,337
♪ Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo ♪
320
00:12:44,484 --> 00:12:46,217
♪ Bah-Bo-Bo-Bo da-bi-Bo ♪
321
00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,720
♪ Bo Bo Bo ♪
322
00:12:48,789 --> 00:12:51,700
♪ Bah-bah bah-doo-Ba ♪
♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba ♪
323
00:12:51,833 --> 00:12:53,825
♪ Wha, wha, wha, wha ♪
324
00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:55,193
♪ What do you do ♪
325
00:12:55,262 --> 00:13:01,328
♪ When faced with black magic? ♪
326
00:13:01,797 --> 00:13:02,922
Hey!
327
00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:05,503
Thank you!
Thank you so much!
328
00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:07,359
One more time!
329
00:13:07,598 --> 00:13:10,395
Okay. Nope.
330
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,508
Thank you very much.
331
00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,590
Uh, muy kind, pero
I know you're only doing it
332
00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:19,828
to make me feel más better.
333
00:13:19,937 --> 00:13:23,218
Wow. Somebody's been listening
to Rosetta Stone in the car.
334
00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:25,672
Cam, come on.
Talk to me.
335
00:13:26,301 --> 00:13:28,530
What in the skibbity
doo wop was that?
336
00:13:29,879 --> 00:13:31,462
Did you bring your own
studio audience?
337
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,012
No. They're Gloria's family.
Unlike some people, they feel things.
338
00:13:35,136 --> 00:13:37,410
Cam, look, I'm sorry.
I got carried away.
339
00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:40,207
It seemed deliberately hurtful.
Every musician got a solo
340
00:13:40,293 --> 00:13:42,230
except the one you promised
to have and to hold.
341
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,770
- Aww!
- Okay, do you mind? Thank you.
342
00:13:44,845 --> 00:13:47,660
Look, Cam, I-I'm sorry
I forgot to throw it to you,
343
00:13:47,738 --> 00:13:50,082
but I-I was just swept up
in the moment.
344
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:51,973
It... That was... It was exhilarating.
345
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,598
I-I... Did you hear
those people cheering?
346
00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:57,162
Well... you were brilliant.
347
00:13:57,238 --> 00:13:58,999
Not the most generous
of performances, but...
348
00:13:59,337 --> 00:14:02,505
I was completely free in front
of my entire judgy family,
349
00:14:02,563 --> 00:14:05,430
and none of that
would have happened without you.
350
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,481
Well, I think I hear
what you're saying...
351
00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:09,938
that... half of that applause
was mine
352
00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:11,773
- 'cause I transformed you.
- Okay.
353
00:14:11,842 --> 00:14:13,809
Well, that's better
than any 10-minute drum solo.
354
00:14:13,877 --> 00:14:15,677
So you'll tell everyone
this was my doing?
355
00:14:15,735 --> 00:14:17,512
Of course I will. Come here.
356
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,630
Ooh!
357
00:14:23,173 --> 00:14:24,974
Okay, I'll spin the box two times,
358
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,288
you'll have 30 seconds to change
into your wedding dress.
359
00:14:27,389 --> 00:14:30,548
Or I change into
an old pair of pajamas
360
00:14:30,641 --> 00:14:32,372
to show the people
how comfortable
361
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:33,711
I have always been
with Jay.
362
00:14:33,769 --> 00:14:35,118
Oh, yeah. Sure, Gloria.
363
00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:36,220
Why don't we just throw
the script out
364
00:14:36,277 --> 00:14:38,298
and you can say whatever you want,
'cause the audience already thinks
365
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:39,982
the actors make it all up anyway?!
366
00:14:40,074 --> 00:14:41,364
I'm sorry!
367
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:42,500
What's going on?
368
00:14:42,558 --> 00:14:43,853
It's okay, Phil.
369
00:14:44,074 --> 00:14:46,258
He's very upset
because 15 years ago,
370
00:14:46,316 --> 00:14:50,152
he missed a phone call
for a job to do boat magic.
371
00:14:50,301 --> 00:14:52,282
That's why you've been sulking
all afternoon?
372
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:55,183
My life would be completely different
if not for stupid fate!
373
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:56,374
Fate?
374
00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:59,965
Let me ask you something.
And there's a real lesson here.
375
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:02,576
Do you like
how your life turned out?
376
00:15:02,634 --> 00:15:03,579
Yeah, sure.
377
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:06,095
Great family, steady work,
bus benches?
378
00:15:06,548 --> 00:15:08,439
I got that call
when you weren't home
379
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:09,850
and never gave you
the message.
380
00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:12,931
What... question mark,
exclamation point?!
381
00:15:13,064 --> 00:15:14,701
Why would you do
something like that?!
382
00:15:14,759 --> 00:15:16,229
To save him from himself.
383
00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:19,541
People sometimes need a gentle nudge
to make the right choice.
384
00:15:19,599 --> 00:15:21,603
And, luckily for everyone,
I'm here to do it.
385
00:15:21,661 --> 00:15:22,978
And not just for Phil.
386
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,049
I know you're wondering
why Manny isn't here.
387
00:15:25,122 --> 00:15:27,150
- I b...
- Who's ready for some magic?
388
00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:29,064
Phil, Gloria, you're up.
389
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,635
- Honey, you okay?
- Nope!
390
00:15:33,924 --> 00:15:35,570
Ladies and gentlemen,
391
00:15:36,251 --> 00:15:39,490
the scientists would have you believe
that time travel is poppycock.
392
00:15:39,548 --> 00:15:43,095
But today, on the anniversary
of the wonderful Gloria
393
00:15:43,153 --> 00:15:44,384
and Jay,
394
00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:46,512
I shall confound the skeptics
395
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,053
and transport this
beautiful woman
396
00:15:49,251 --> 00:15:51,684
back in time to the day of
her wedding.
397
00:15:51,912 --> 00:15:54,127
Gloria, get in the box!
398
00:15:55,657 --> 00:15:58,123
Drumroll, please.
399
00:16:03,022 --> 00:16:05,122
♪♪ Drum solo...
400
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:08,736
♪♪
401
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:12,040
♪♪
402
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:24,900
Whoo! Yes, drums! Yes!
403
00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:29,032
Anyway, watch as she disappears
into the wormhole.
404
00:16:29,103 --> 00:16:30,673
That's my trick.
I'm done.
405
00:16:30,915 --> 00:16:32,845
What do you mean, you're done?
Bring her back.
406
00:16:33,064 --> 00:16:34,657
Okay, I'm ready!
407
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:38,556
You made my dream disappear.
Now yours is gone.
408
00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:41,048
IHola! I want to come out!
409
00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:43,611
Phil. Phil,
you are Dede-ing my party.
410
00:16:43,689 --> 00:16:45,337
Your father Dede'd my life.
411
00:16:45,469 --> 00:16:47,771
He's the one who got
the phone call 15 years ago
412
00:16:47,829 --> 00:16:49,486
about the magic job
and never told me.
413
00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:50,459
Oh, Phil.
414
00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:52,888
Your family has always
treated me like a child
415
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,250
who can't make his own decisions.
416
00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:56,398
I couldn't even make
an outfit choice for the wedding
417
00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:58,214
without your mother
commenting on it.
418
00:16:58,307 --> 00:17:00,149
That's why I slipped her
those three drinks at the reception.
419
00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:02,503
It's very warm back here!
420
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:05,206
You need to let Gloria
out of that box. And...
421
00:17:05,541 --> 00:17:07,349
my dad had nothing
to do with that.
422
00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,696
I'm the one who told him
not to give you the message.
423
00:17:09,844 --> 00:17:11,954
Did I miss the "Ta-da"?
424
00:17:12,016 --> 00:17:13,172
Phil, I'm so sorry
425
00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:14,647
. But your business
was just taking off,
426
00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,483
- and the kids were really little.
- No, no. I-I don't want to hear it.
427
00:17:16,540 --> 00:17:19,325
My own wife is the reason
I don't have a career in magic,
428
00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:21,907
a thing I was born to do?!
429
00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:30,388
Look at me!
430
00:17:30,446 --> 00:17:33,071
I haven't changed in 10 years!
431
00:17:33,974 --> 00:17:35,073
- Aaah!
- Oh!
432
00:17:35,142 --> 00:17:36,508
Aah!
433
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:42,764
Gloria!
434
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,139
You came! Thank God!
435
00:17:45,308 --> 00:17:46,474
Not because of you.
436
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:49,280
I couldn't enjoy my time with Denise
knowing my mother needed me.
437
00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:50,983
I mean, I enjoyed it a little.
438
00:17:51,093 --> 00:17:53,410
She's a dance major trying
to replace food with affection.
439
00:17:53,468 --> 00:17:54,624
I really don't care.
440
00:17:54,795 --> 00:17:55,894
Gloria!
441
00:17:57,881 --> 00:17:59,378
I have a surprise for you!
442
00:17:59,436 --> 00:18:01,179
- I'm here!
- Okay.
443
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:03,206
I was kind of expecting
a bigger reaction.
444
00:18:03,264 --> 00:18:05,582
Yeah, I thought for sure Manny
being here would tip the scales.
445
00:18:05,639 --> 00:18:09,046
No! I don't need anyone
to do that for me!
446
00:18:09,426 --> 00:18:10,825
Just leave me alone.
447
00:18:10,887 --> 00:18:12,847
What kind of sick game
are you two playing?
448
00:18:12,905 --> 00:18:14,757
Do you have any idea
what I gave up to be here?
449
00:18:14,856 --> 00:18:16,491
What's going on with you,
Gloria?
450
00:18:17,507 --> 00:18:20,190
This dress doesn't fit me anymore!
451
00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:21,581
That's it?!
452
00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:23,823
I drove all the way
to Manny's dorm for nothing?
453
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,073
Oh, because you've made
the sacrifice today.
454
00:18:26,517 --> 00:18:28,495
You don't understand.
455
00:18:28,714 --> 00:18:33,573
I tell people that I work hard
to stay fit and to stay young,
456
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,977
but the reality is
that I barely do anything.
457
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,909
But now my body is getting...
458
00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:43,743
- Bigger?
- How dare you!
459
00:18:44,569 --> 00:18:45,902
But yes.
460
00:18:46,019 --> 00:18:48,586
But I've always looked
a certain way.
461
00:18:48,655 --> 00:18:51,823
And now that I don't,
then what am I?
462
00:18:52,081 --> 00:18:56,261
Just a self-trained hairdresser
with a hot-sauce business.
463
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:57,749
You still have that?
464
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,910
Gloria, you're so much more
than how you look.
465
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:05,597
That's what you say to people
that are not that pretty anymore.
466
00:19:05,722 --> 00:19:06,933
Are you insane?
467
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,776
You could be my age and
30 pounds heavier,
468
00:19:09,854 --> 00:19:12,511
and you would still be
unbelievably out of my league.
469
00:19:12,659 --> 00:19:15,847
Listen, you gain a couple...
who cares?
470
00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:17,878
These have been
the best 10 years of my life.
471
00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:21,373
I'm in it for every pound,
every wrinkle,
472
00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:23,474
every gray hair.
473
00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:26,477
Aww!
474
00:19:33,792 --> 00:19:35,705
Come on!
475
00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:39,242
Let's go.
Get in the car.
476
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:41,060
- Where are we going?
- Don't worry about it.
477
00:19:41,253 --> 00:19:44,339
Oh. Why should I start making
my own decisions now?
478
00:19:48,464 --> 00:19:50,659
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about the job.
479
00:19:50,768 --> 00:19:52,628
You're just such
a "Go for it" kind of guy,
480
00:19:52,686 --> 00:19:54,339
and I love that about you,
481
00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:56,546
but in that case,
we had three little kids,
482
00:19:56,604 --> 00:19:58,237
a mortgage, and I was nervous.
483
00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:00,925
You could have at least
included me in the decision.
484
00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:02,589
You're right! You're right.
485
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,851
And I know "I'm sorry"
doesn't begin to cover it.
486
00:20:04,909 --> 00:20:06,085
Why are we stopping?
487
00:20:06,143 --> 00:20:07,476
Well, our kids are grown,
488
00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:09,781
I run a company,
you've got a great day job.
489
00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:12,714
I thought maybe it was time
you picked up an old hobby.
490
00:20:13,226 --> 00:20:14,659
Are those... Uh...
491
00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,046
Keys to your new magic shop.
492
00:20:17,104 --> 00:20:18,956
Oh, my God!
493
00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:22,214
Go on!
494
00:20:22,339 --> 00:20:24,440
- What?!
- I know!
495
00:20:24,498 --> 00:20:27,003
And Mister Ekshun was willing to
let it go for next to nothing.
496
00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:28,843
Which, now that I think of it,
497
00:20:28,901 --> 00:20:30,550
is probably not a great sign.
498
00:20:30,659 --> 00:20:33,362
This is awesome!
499
00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:36,323
And "Mister Ekshun"...
I just got that!
500
00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,453
It's kind of funny that
you're making up
501
00:20:38,511 --> 00:20:39,836
for making a decision
that should have been mine
502
00:20:39,893 --> 00:20:41,776
by making
another decision for me.
503
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,604
♪♪
504
00:20:43,737 --> 00:20:45,647
Do you want it or not?
505
00:20:46,097 --> 00:20:47,550
- I love you.
- I love you.
506
00:20:47,659 --> 00:20:48,831
Mwah!
507
00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:50,969
Bylaws.
508
00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:55,789
♪ Fiz-El-ah dwee-zop ♪
♪ beh-zong de-doy ♪
509
00:20:55,858 --> 00:20:57,109
♪ Ske-diddly-Dee-daht ♪
510
00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:58,625
♪ De-daht de-do! ♪
511
00:20:58,694 --> 00:21:00,893
♪ Bow! Bam! Chow ♪
512
00:21:00,956 --> 00:21:02,542
♪ Cha-cha-cha! ♪
513
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:04,086
- ♪ Waah-waah-waah ♪
- ♪ Zep-za-da wah ♪
514
00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:06,198
- ♪ Shah-waah waah-waah ♪
- ♪ Bah-dop bah-dop waah ♪
515
00:21:06,284 --> 00:21:07,886
- ♪ Waah-waah-waah ♪
- ♪ Bop-Ba-dop ♪
516
00:21:07,987 --> 00:21:10,031
- ♪ Waah-waah-waah ♪
- ♪ Ba-dop Ba-dop waah ♪
517
00:21:10,089 --> 00:21:12,924
♪ Diddly-bop dit-do da-Ba-da
baaaa ♪
518
00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:16,495
♪ Pa-Ra-Ba-Ra-Ba-Ra Ba-Ra-Ba-Ra ♪
♪ Pa-pa-bar ♪
519
00:21:16,636 --> 00:21:18,503
- ♪ Pa-Ra-Ba-Ra... ♪
- It's getting late.
520
00:21:19,384 --> 00:21:20,595
Nighty night.
39343
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