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1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:07,985
Forget it, because you never listen
to a word I say. I'm done with this.
2
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,674
Carol just broke up with Nick.
3
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,213
What do you want from me?
4
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,348
I thought maybe we could be...
5
00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:17,417
Be friends?
6
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,669
This right here...
7
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,788
was never about friendship.
8
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:24,457
Hi. How are you holding
up, you know, post-Nick?
9
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:25,492
Good. You know.
10
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:26,977
Okay.
11
00:00:27,077 --> 00:00:28,478
Bad, actually.
12
00:00:28,578 --> 00:00:31,413
I-I'd have to say I'm kind of bad.
13
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:37,368
( people chatting )
14
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:40,357
( honking )
15
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,642
Okay, people...
16
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:45,195
all eyes on Senor Stubbs.
17
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,197
As manager of Stuckey Bowl
18
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,783
it is my honor to introduce to you
19
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,185
the CEO of this grand institution.
20
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:55,255
Let's give a big Apollo
welcome for your host
21
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:59,009
Mr. Edmund Stevens!
22
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:01,409
( cheering and clapping )
23
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,417
Thank you, thank you.
24
00:01:07,517 --> 00:01:08,551
Thank you, Phil.
25
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,136
It's Edward, actually.
26
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,338
Whoo! Testify!
27
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:14,507
I want to thank you all
for joining us on opening day
28
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:19,274
of the very first annual
Stuckeyville Bowling Tournament.
29
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:23,433
So, without further ado here
to fire the starter's pistol
30
00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:27,283
say hello to His Honor,
Mayor Wally Kendricks.
31
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,756
Evening, folks.
32
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:34,227
Before I trigger the old
pistola let me just say this.
33
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,563
Election Day is drawing near
34
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,248
and my opponent, Mr. Ludwig
35
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,033
is making a lot of promises.
36
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:43,318
Now, in all my years as your mayor...
37
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:44,671
Shoot the gun.
38
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,222
All: Shoot the gun.
39
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,391
Well, okay.
40
00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:49,409
Okay, okay.
41
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:53,730
Let the tournament begin!
42
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:55,348
( clicking )
43
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,750
Uh, uh, just a second here.
44
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,436
Let the tournament begin!
45
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:03,423
( clicking )
46
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,792
Kablamo!
47
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:08,192
( cheering )
48
00:02:08,411 --> 00:02:09,646
Mr. Mayor...
excuse me...
49
00:02:09,746 --> 00:02:11,147
I would like to apologize
50
00:02:11,247 --> 00:02:13,033
for Phil's behavior back there.
51
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,569
Please... that
boy is like a son to me.
52
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:22,742
Anyway, um, I just really appreciate you
lending some dignity to the proceedings.
53
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:24,894
Well, being the mayor of a small town
54
00:02:24,994 --> 00:02:26,312
does have its privileges
55
00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:29,032
and I suppose emceeing
a half bowl-a-thon
56
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,050
is one of them.
57
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,084
All due respect, sir
58
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,719
this is a full
bowl-a-thon.
59
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,970
Of course it is.
60
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,422
( laughing ): Yeah.
61
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,991
Sure. Stevens, I need
your help with something.
62
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:42,295
I want you to represent the town
of Stuckeyville in a legal matter.
63
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,897
Wow. What's the problem?
64
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,749
Well, come by my office tomorrow.
65
00:02:45,849 --> 00:02:46,900
You got it.
66
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,417
Tony, I want to speak to you.
67
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,756
Never thought
I'd see the day...
68
00:02:52,856 --> 00:02:55,439
Ed Stevens working for the man.
69
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,597
( rhythm and guitar playing )
70
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:16,246
♪ I'm in the sky tonight ♪
71
00:03:16,346 --> 00:03:21,650
♪ There I can keep by your side ♪
72
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:27,005
♪ Watching the wide world
right, and hidin' out ♪
73
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:32,828
♪ I'll be comin'
home next year. ♪
74
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:36,850
ED
75
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:45,000
.:: P r i j e v o d i - O n l i n e ::.
76
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,198
Good morning, Molly.
77
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,667
Hey, wow... you're looking
zestfully clean.
78
00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:55,668
Thank you.
79
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:56,920
Okay, so, what's the deal?
80
00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,671
I mean, one day, you're
miserable over Nick.
81
00:03:58,771 --> 00:03:59,722
The next day, you're...
82
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,141
Molly, I woke up this morning
83
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,559
with a whole new perspective.
84
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,560
On what? Everything.
85
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,894
Oh, that.
86
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,346
Ever since I was 22 years old
87
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,231
my life has been in
a holding pattern.
88
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,066
I mean, I never thought I would teach
89
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,684
for more than a couple of years.
90
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,102
Then, I'm going out with Nick
91
00:04:13,202 --> 00:04:14,771
seven years passes, and here I am.
92
00:04:14,871 --> 00:04:16,906
It's like... it's like
I was frozen alive.
93
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,074
Like Walt Disney.
94
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,359
Exactly! Exactly...
95
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:22,095
except, now that Nick
and I have split up
96
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:25,398
I can thaw myself out
and start to live my life.
97
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:28,234
Well, all we need's
a walk-in microwave.
98
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,552
Molls, I'm serious.
99
00:04:29,652 --> 00:04:31,838
I finally figured
out what I want
100
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,238
and I'm ready to go for it.
101
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,597
Mike: You know, Ed,
you're a handsome man.
102
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,764
Thanks, Mike.
103
00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,683
Just thought I'd dress
it up a little bit
104
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,185
for my meeting with the Mayor.
105
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,070
Does that make you feel uncomfortable
106
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:48,438
me calling you "handsome"?
107
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,772
I don't know.
108
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:50,823
Well, it shouldn't.
109
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:52,325
I don't see any reason
110
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:54,994
why one man can't compliment
another man on his looks.
111
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:56,362
Women do it all the time.
112
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,762
That's true. Yeah.
113
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:01,234
You think I'm handsome?
114
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,069
Yes, Mike, you're a handsome man.
115
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,238
What do you think my
handsomest feature is?
116
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,239
Forehead.
117
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:08,639
Thanks. You got it.
118
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,665
Am I too late to bowl
in the tournament?
119
00:05:15,765 --> 00:05:18,818
Not at all, Mr. Mustachio,
but in order to qualify
120
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,287
you'll have to pass
this written exam.
121
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:22,922
What?
122
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,058
You have one minute, starting...
123
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,476
now.
124
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,562
"True or false, when combined
at atmospheric pressure
125
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,699
hydrogen and sodium produce
an exothermic reaction?"
126
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,734
What's that got to do with bowling?
127
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,735
51...
128
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:36,736
50...
129
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,904
49...
130
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,155
Phil, I got to go see the Mayor.
131
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,640
Keep an eye on things, will you?
132
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:44,744
I serve at the pleasure of
the President of Stuckey Bowl.
133
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,212
Super.
134
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:48,514
"True or false, Asian
women are really hot?"
135
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:49,882
( cheering ) Hey, I'm not...
136
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:51,217
Are you listening to me?
137
00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,617
Shh, just a second.
138
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:57,924
( cheering )
139
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,425
What are you looking at?
140
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,627
The future of American bowling.
141
00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:10,503
Hi. I'm Ed Stevens.
-Hello, Mr. Stevens.
142
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:15,008
Such a well-groomed boy. -Thanks.
I'm here to see the Mayor.
143
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,009
Lovely.
144
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,177
Is that a rented suit?
145
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:19,479
Uh, no, it's mine.
146
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:22,247
Such a young man to own a suit.
147
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,734
So, should I just wait here, then?
148
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:26,135
Oh, goodness, no.
149
00:06:26,235 --> 00:06:27,553
Just go right in.
150
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,953
Oh.
151
00:06:33,543 --> 00:06:34,477
Pardon me.
152
00:06:34,577 --> 00:06:35,662
Kendricks: Uh, Debbie...
153
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,997
take a ten
- minute break.
154
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,632
I paint naked pemple.
155
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,800
S-so-so
I see.
156
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,502
Had to find something
to fill the time.
157
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:43,803
Being Mayor of Stuckeyville
158
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,172
ain't exactly a pressure gig.
159
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:47,507
( clears throat )
160
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,907
De-Debbie.
161
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,807
Well, I'll be a beefsteak tomato.
162
00:07:04,907 --> 00:07:06,059
What is your name?
163
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,193
Kevin Schwartz.
164
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:08,628
Not anymore it's not.
165
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,145
From now on, you're Shazam...
166
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,199
Jacobson.
167
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,034
What? That's your bowling name.
168
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:17,003
You can win this tournament, Shazam
169
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,672
but it's going to take
work, 'cause fame costs
170
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,558
and right here is where
you start paying, in sweat.
171
00:07:22,658 --> 00:07:24,060
Who are you?
172
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,245
I'm your new trainer, your mentor...
173
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:29,499
your sensei, if you will.
174
00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:30,950
Thanks, but I don't really need...
175
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,452
Why aren't you in school?
176
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:33,703
It's lunch period.
177
00:07:33,803 --> 00:07:36,622
Okay, rule number
one, stay in school.
178
00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:39,459
Rule number two... stay off the pipe.
179
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,661
You been chasing the dragon, Shazam?
180
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,697
I don't really know what that means.
181
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:45,698
Look, uh...
182
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:46,699
Sensei.
183
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,668
Okay, uh, thanks for offering
184
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,670
but I'm doing okay on my own.
185
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:51,971
Okay, my mistake.
186
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,140
I didn't realize you were
bowling perfect games.
187
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,676
I guess we 300 bowlers hardly
need lessons, now, do we?
188
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,678
Wait-wait-wait,
whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.
189
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,346
You can bowl 300?
190
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,682
I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
191
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:05,685
All right, fine, when do we start?
192
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,787
We already have.
193
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,023
5:00 a. m.? Are you kidding?
194
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:12,775
Rule number three...
195
00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:15,227
never question your sensei.
196
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:27,273
Care for a Toblerone?
-No, thanks. -Are you sure?
197
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:29,673
They're triangular.
198
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:32,228
Okay, then.
199
00:08:32,328 --> 00:08:34,797
So...
200
00:08:34,897 --> 00:08:37,815
how can I help you Mr. Mayor?
201
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,921
Does that answer your question?
202
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,089
Um...
203
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,524
no.
204
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:48,161
The last five editions of
Guide to Small Town, USA.
205
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,695
Go ahead, take one.
206
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:52,064
Okay.
207
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,464
Turn to Page 330.
208
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:01,140
Hey... there's a
section on Stuckeyville.
209
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,575
Read the rating.
210
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,443
Um... three stars out of five.
211
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:09,765
That's what they give us
every year... three lousy stars.
212
00:09:09,865 --> 00:09:11,684
You know what that means?
213
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:12,718
Means average.
214
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,353
I mean, what a crock.
215
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:15,922
"Stuckeyville is a cute, quaint
216
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,924
but utterly unremarkable
little hamlet."
217
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,492
Does that sound like
Stuckeyville to you?
218
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,160
'Course not... (
clears throat )
219
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,962
although I like the word "hamlet."
220
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,032
Well, even Jaspertown gets
three and a half stars.
221
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,134
What do they got that we don't got?
222
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,136
They got that damn Ferris wheel.
223
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,305
Now... how do I fit into this?
224
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,006
The next edition's hitting the stands
225
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:35,708
just three days before the election.
226
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,143
I want you to sue the publisher
227
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,145
and keep this thing
out of the bookstores.
228
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,913
Oh, I-I don't know, Mr. Mayor.
229
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,798
This hardly qualifies as slander.
230
00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:44,967
They do have a right
to their opinion.
231
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,385
Walk with me, Stevens.
232
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,643
I've never actually seen
anybody wear one of those
233
00:09:53,743 --> 00:09:55,428
you know, besides the Monopoly guy.
234
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:56,679
What good is being mayor
235
00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:58,264
if you can't stroll the streets
236
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,900
with a monocle perched
jauntily in your eye socket?
237
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,068
I hear you.
238
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,903
You know how long
I've held this office?
239
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,071
Long as I can remember.
240
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,189
30 damn years.
241
00:10:06,289 --> 00:10:08,407
Until now, I've
always run uncontested.
242
00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:09,408
You know why?
243
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:10,409
Why?
244
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,477
'Cause people love me.
245
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:12,962
See that bookstore?
246
00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:14,580
Been here since 1922.
247
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:18,551
Last year, one of them big
chains wanted to move in.
248
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:19,769
You know what I told them?
249
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,987
What?
250
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,823
I told them to kiss
my Stuckeyvillian.
251
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,691
You know why? Why?
252
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,744
'Cause Mrs. McGreevey,
there, is special.
253
00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:32,031
There's nothing special
about a chain store.
254
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,199
I'd have to agree.
255
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,034
Well, a lot of people don't
256
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,904
including my opponent, Jim Ludwig.
257
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,572
What does this have to
do with that guidebook?
258
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:43,092
Stuckeyville doesn't get a
lot of national attention.
259
00:10:43,192 --> 00:10:45,795
So, when it does, the
townspeople notice.
260
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,513
Right now, I need for them
261
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:49,515
to feel good about this place.
262
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:51,083
I get it.
263
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:54,487
Otherwise, they'll just
start listening to Jim Ludwig.
264
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,223
I mean no disrespect, Mr. Mayor,
but I'm just a little uncomfortable
265
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,175
taking what essentially
amounts to a campaign job
266
00:10:59,275 --> 00:11:00,476
especially when I'm not familiar
267
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,811
with either candidate's platform.
268
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,229
Well, there's a debate tomorrow.
269
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,897
I mean, right here
in the town square.
270
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,315
Well, come and see for yourself.
271
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,433
Okay, I'll be here.
272
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,402
And for God sakes,
bring a noisemaker.
273
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,937
You know, one of them babies.
274
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,337
( yells gruffly )
275
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,907
Okay.
276
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,443
Hey.
277
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:20,830
Carol... hey.
278
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,081
Hi, Ed.
279
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,833
Hi. What you got...
ooh, what you got here?
280
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:24,984
Just, um, just some books.
281
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,052
Whoa.
282
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:27,253
Oh, okay. I get it.
283
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,955
No need to be embarrassed.
284
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,122
About what?
285
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:32,291
Your giant sackful of pornography.
286
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:33,676
They're travel books, Ed.
287
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,328
I have decided to leave town.
288
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,412
That's an excellent idea.
289
00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:37,797
I could use a vacation myself.
290
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,966
Hey, you know what I hear
is good this time of year?
291
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,217
Now, this might surprise you.
292
00:11:41,317 --> 00:11:42,301
Finland.
293
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:43,636
Ah...
294
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:47,706
I meant I've decided
to leave town for good.
295
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,041
What?
296
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,944
What?
297
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:52,995
That's crazy talk!
298
00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:54,280
What kind of crazy talk is that?
299
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,531
It's just something I have to do.
300
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:56,782
Why?!
301
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,334
Because I have wanted to be a writer
302
00:11:58,434 --> 00:11:59,802
since I was eight years old.
303
00:11:59,902 --> 00:12:01,387
How many novels have I written?
304
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,272
Um... nine.
305
00:12:03,372 --> 00:12:05,091
Zero. Zero.
306
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,392
Zero. And you want to know why?
307
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:07,526
Because of Nick Stanton.
308
00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:08,894
I couldn't do anything with him.
309
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,329
It's like...
310
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:13,983
It's like being Shakespeare's
girlfriend, you know...
311
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,401
"Oh, hi, hi. I'm a writer, too."
312
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:16,619
Now that we've split up
313
00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:18,638
I feel like I can
really give this a shot.
314
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,172
You want to write. That much I get.
315
00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:22,274
But writing is just sitting
in a room with a pad and pen.
316
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,143
What difference does it
make where the room is?
317
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,029
Ed, I have spent my entire
20s within a five-mile radius
318
00:12:27,129 --> 00:12:28,648
of where we are standing right now.
319
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,317
How am I supposed to be a
writer if this is all I know?
320
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,852
What about Nick?
321
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,120
What about Nick Stanton?
322
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,287
I mean, he's still here.
323
00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:38,324
He's cranking out
books like a human...
324
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,959
book cranker-outer.
325
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,829
Whether Nick Stanton
is here or isn't here
326
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,631
is nothing to do with it.
327
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:48,467
As a matter of fact,
even if he weren't here
328
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:49,785
I would still want to leave.
329
00:12:49,885 --> 00:12:50,953
That's not my point.
330
00:12:51,053 --> 00:12:53,205
That... geez, what,
are you mad at me now?
331
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,207
No, I...
332
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:57,593
This whole subject is
so embarrassing.
333
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,628
Could we please forget it, okay?
334
00:12:59,728 --> 00:13:01,630
Okay.
335
00:13:01,730 --> 00:13:03,632
( sighs )
336
00:13:03,732 --> 00:13:06,032
( engine starting )
337
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,342
( knocking )
338
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,040
You look weary, my child.
339
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,259
It's 5:00 a. m. Of course I'm weary.
340
00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:33,713
Ah! You must remove your
shoes before entering my dojo.
341
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,113
( sighs )
342
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,935
Socks, too!
343
00:13:40,035 --> 00:13:42,335
Oh, God.
344
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:52,798
I've checked the chart.
345
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,016
Your next opponent is Chip Williams.
346
00:13:54,116 --> 00:13:55,551
I've seen this man
bowl. He's a monster.
347
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:56,802
And you're not going to beat him
348
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,471
unless you know the
answer to this question.
349
00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,855
Yeah. Are you ready?
350
00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:02,475
What's the most important
part of the body in bowling?
351
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,876
The brain.
352
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:05,995
Okay, wait... you're
supposed to go, "The arm"...
353
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,913
'cause that's what
everyone assumes...
354
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,249
then I'm supposed to
go, "No. The brain."
355
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,418
And then you go, "Oh..."
356
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,120
Let's try it again.
357
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,721
The arm?
358
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,390
No. The brain.
359
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:21,225
Oh...
360
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,895
You have wisdom, child.
361
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,295
Stop calling me child.
362
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,637
Mike: So, uh, Nance, who do you
think's handsomer... me or Ed?
363
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,272
Honey, I think you're
both very handsome.
364
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,858
Yeah, but one of us has to
be handsomer than the other.
365
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,644
I mean, we both can't be the
exact same level of handsome.
366
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:39,945
Okay. Ed.
367
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,030
Funny.
368
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,481
( laughing )
369
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:43,566
Molly: Hey, guys.
370
00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:44,567
Hey, Molls.
371
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:45,651
Hey, Molls. Hey, Molls.
372
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:46,735
What's going on?
373
00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:48,053
Carol's talking about leaving town.
374
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,622
Yeah, yeah. I heard.
375
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,091
I can see it... I'm going to be
hanging with the lunch ladies.
376
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:53,476
Molly, don't worry about Carol.
377
00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:54,627
She's not going anywhere.
378
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:55,761
I don't know, Ed.
379
00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:56,929
She sounded pretty serious to me.
380
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,862
No, no, Ed's got it under control.
381
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:02,266
Mike...
382
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:06,038
I'll give you ten bucks
if you go over there
383
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:08,207
and call that guy...
384
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:10,607
Mommy.
385
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:14,180
Not a problem, Ed.
386
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,599
There he goes.
387
00:15:16,699 --> 00:15:19,350
There he goes.
388
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,571
( clearing throat
): Excuse me, but...
389
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,923
Mike Burton! Joe Hollenbeck.
390
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,774
I'm a friend of Uncle Jerry.
391
00:15:25,874 --> 00:15:28,194
Oh, sure, right, right. How are you?
392
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,778
Aw, great.
393
00:15:29,878 --> 00:15:32,398
You know, I was just playing
tennis with Jerry last week.
394
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,767
He couldn't be prouder
of his nephew, the doctor.
395
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,168
Wow. That's great to hear.
396
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,454
Maybe I could stop by your office?
397
00:15:38,554 --> 00:15:39,622
My back's been killing me.
398
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,373
Oh, yeah! Stop by any time, sure.
399
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:42,708
Good to see you, Mike.
400
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,977
Oh, you, too, Mommy.
401
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:48,313
You just called me Mommy.
402
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,982
( laughing )
403
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:52,401
I recommend Doan's Pills...
404
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:54,801
for the back.
405
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:58,490
You have so many problems.
406
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:01,009
Nice. Very strong.
407
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,895
Ugh, there he
is... Jim Ludwig.
408
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:04,864
Hey, there, my friend.
409
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,382
Oh! Mr. Ludwig. Wha...?
410
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,085
He looks so familiar.
411
00:16:10,185 --> 00:16:11,637
Didn't he used to
own a waterbed store?
412
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,472
Yeah, he still does. Waterbed World.
413
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,374
Oh!
414
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:16,625
"Oh", what?
415
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:19,545
I lost my virginity
at Waterbed World.
416
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,213
Mike! Ugh!
417
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,481
The back door was never locked.
418
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:23,716
Never locked.
419
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,185
Oh, well, guess he's got your vote.
420
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:29,454
( groans softly )
421
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,825
ign slogan is "Vote
Ludwig for a change."
422
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,327
What do you hope to change and why?
423
00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:37,129
By maintaining Stuckeyville's
424
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:38,714
archaic zoning regulations
425
00:16:38,814 --> 00:16:42,902
Mayor Kendricks denies us
the pleasures and conveniences
426
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,470
of modern life.
427
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:48,407
Denies us, I daresay, the three
rights most sacred to Americans:
428
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,410
the hamburger served
in under 30 seconds.
429
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,262
( cheering )
430
00:16:53,362 --> 00:16:54,647
Oh, please.
431
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,683
The cappuccino prepared
by a trained barista.
432
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:58,784
( cheering )
433
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,286
Okay, this is ridiculous.
434
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:02,488
And the seven-night video rental.
435
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,290
( cheering and whooping )
436
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:08,459
Seven nights?! How do you
make any money off that?
437
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,596
I say bring it on...
438
00:17:12,347 --> 00:17:14,647
in a three-star town.
439
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,901
You have ten more seconds.
440
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:28,314
Vote for me.
441
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:29,949
Mr. Kendricks
442
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,150
your rebuttal.
443
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:35,787
Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you
444
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,424
don't let this waterbed salesman
445
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:41,610
ruin our town.
446
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:44,747
Don't let him turn
Stuckeyville into a carbon copy
447
00:17:44,847 --> 00:17:47,166
of everyplace else in America.
448
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,668
Man: What's wrong with America?
449
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:53,871
Woman ( chanting
): U. S.A.! U. S.A.! U. S.A.!
450
00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:56,741
( all join in chanting )
451
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:04,850
Good luck, Mayor. Good speech.
452
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:07,250
( chuckling )
453
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:11,323
Mr. Mayor, I'd like to help you out.
454
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,075
I need all the help I can get.
455
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,626
I'm losing them, Stevens.
456
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:17,029
Who publishes that guidebook?
457
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:18,497
Holstrom and Company in Chicago.
458
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,899
I'll contact them today
and we'll see what happens.
459
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,034
Why, thank you.
460
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,969
And Stuckeyville thanks you.
461
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:25,804
It'll be my pleasure.
462
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:28,204
Okay.
463
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,536
Hi.
464
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:42,954
Hey.
465
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,391
Carol. Hi.
466
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,559
I'm really sorry I snapped
at you the other day.
467
00:18:47,659 --> 00:18:48,660
I didn't mean...
468
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,129
Forget about that. Hey, um...
469
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,900
I happen to have the perfect
solution to your problem.
470
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,568
"The Pine Forest Refuge:
471
00:18:56,668 --> 00:18:59,038
A Place for the Creative to Create."
472
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,372
It's one of those
writer's communities.
473
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,473
About an hour's drive from here.
474
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:02,941
Yeah, yeah, I've heard of it.
475
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,443
It's supposed to be amazing.
476
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:07,212
But, you see, you have to
be a real writer to go there.
477
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,731
Well, then, I guess
you're a real writer.
478
00:19:08,831 --> 00:19:10,616
What do you mean?
479
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:13,202
I registered you for the weekend
retreat... begins this afternoon.
480
00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:16,087
I-I-I have a
sixth period class.
481
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:17,589
Molly's going to cover for you.
482
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:19,641
How did you get me in here?
483
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:21,844
The guy that runs the
place is buying a house.
484
00:19:21,944 --> 00:19:24,063
I told him I'd handle
the contracts for free.
485
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,564
Huh.
486
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,067
You really shouldn't have.
487
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,069
And yet I did. Ah.
488
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,320
( clears throat ): Excuse me.
489
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,337
Huh? Ed Stevens?
490
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:33,072
Yeah.
491
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,089
Judy Hellman.
492
00:19:34,189 --> 00:19:36,689
I'm with Holstrom and Company.
493
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,578
Guide to Small Town, USA.
494
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,113
Oh.
495
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,699
I just spoke to Mr.
Holstrom yesterday.
496
00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:45,417
How'd you get here so fast? Please.
497
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,336
I was in the area
visiting Jaspertown.
498
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,204
Ah! Jaspertown. Yeah.
499
00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:50,956
Three-and-a-half
star Jaspertown.
500
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:52,424
( clears throat )
501
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:56,161
You know, that Ferris
wheel killed a guy. Uh-huh.
502
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,564
Look, you're wasting
your time if you sue us.
503
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,466
You don't have a case.
504
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,134
So you came here to
talk me out of it?
505
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:03,869
No, I came here to
do some fact checking
506
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,004
so in case you are crazy
enough to try something
507
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:07,806
we can prove our
information is accurate.
508
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,108
Ah, well, great.
509
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,309
'Cause once I give you
510
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,527
the grand tour of this town
511
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:12,811
you'll see the town and its people
512
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:14,146
are anything but average.
513
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:15,481
( startled gasp )
514
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:18,516
Phil... what you doing?
515
00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:22,784
I thought you were cueing
me for my wacky entrance.
516
00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:37,319
Okay, Judy, your tour of
scenic Stuckeyville now begins.
517
00:20:37,419 --> 00:20:38,871
Yeah, you know what?
518
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,072
I don't need a tour guide.
519
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,406
I've already seen everything.
520
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:42,624
Oh, really?
521
00:20:42,724 --> 00:20:43,826
Mm-hmm.
522
00:20:43,926 --> 00:20:45,494
Then I guess you've
tried a suzeechio.
523
00:20:45,594 --> 00:20:46,745
A what?!
524
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,180
I thought so. Come with me.
525
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,165
"Stuckeyville cuisine
ranges from blah to eh."
526
00:20:50,265 --> 00:20:52,167
That's very cute.
527
00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:53,168
Thank you.
528
00:20:53,268 --> 00:20:54,453
Highly inaccurate.
529
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:55,754
Highly inaccurate.
530
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:57,289
I envy you, Judy Hellman
531
00:20:57,389 --> 00:21:00,709
for you are about to taste
your very first suzeechio.
532
00:21:00,809 --> 00:21:03,178
( chuckling ): I... I've
had thousands of these things
533
00:21:03,278 --> 00:21:05,464
but, ah, what I would not
give to go back in time
534
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:07,132
to re-experience my very first bite.
535
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:09,017
What is a suzeechio?
536
00:21:09,117 --> 00:21:10,302
Local specialty.
537
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:12,855
It can only be found
right here in Stuckeyville.
538
00:21:12,955 --> 00:21:17,342
Excuse me. Two suzeechios please.
-Uh, we no longer serve suzeechios.
539
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,710
What?! Why not?
540
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,445
The guy who made them's
in the county lockup.
541
00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:22,948
He drove his Camry right through
his ex-wife's living room window.
542
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:26,501
Well, um... what do you got?
543
00:21:26,601 --> 00:21:28,754
Hot Pockets. -Hot Pockets.
544
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:31,123
People love 'em.
545
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:31,840
Good Lord.
546
00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:37,462
( sighs )
547
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:39,431
Man: Oh, look, we have someone new.
548
00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:40,699
Come, come!
549
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,467
Hello. Hi.
550
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,536
I'm Joel, and you are?
551
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,205
I'm Carol Vessey. Ah!
552
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,556
No last names, Carol.
553
00:21:47,656 --> 00:21:50,676
Here at Pine Forest, our
ideas are our identity.
554
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,778
Ah...
555
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,646
I'm really sorry that I was late...
556
00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,899
Carol, there's no such
thing as late at Pine Forest.
557
00:21:56,999 --> 00:21:58,600
In fact, there's no
such thing as time.
558
00:21:58,700 --> 00:21:59,785
Please give me your watch.
559
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,453
My watch.
560
00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:03,255
I'll return it to you
561
00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:05,655
when you leave our grounds.
562
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:09,425
Okay.
563
00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:11,861
Thank you.
564
00:22:13,048 --> 00:22:15,348
Okay.
565
00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:19,888
Thanks.
566
00:22:19,988 --> 00:22:22,007
All right, then...
567
00:22:22,107 --> 00:22:23,342
Carol.
568
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:26,812
Why don't you tell us
a little about yourself?
569
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:29,331
I, um...
570
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:31,917
I live in Stuckeyville and I teach
571
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:34,152
English at the high school.
572
00:22:34,252 --> 00:22:36,653
My turn-ons are fast cars
573
00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:39,924
and moonlit walks on the beach.
574
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,427
Tell us about a walk on the beach
575
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:44,930
that had special meaning for you.
576
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,199
That was just a joke.
577
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:48,433
No, no, no, Carol.
578
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:50,102
Don't censor yourself.
579
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:52,502
Share with us.
580
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:55,204
What do you want me to do?
581
00:22:56,258 --> 00:22:59,510
You're standing on a windswept beach.
582
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:08,452
The moon bathes you in
its pale, white glow.
583
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:14,326
( laughs )
584
00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:15,827
In the crashing of the waves
585
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:17,379
against the shore, you hear
586
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:21,432
"Carol, Carol, Carol!"
587
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,353
I am so sorry, I am really so sorry.
588
00:23:24,453 --> 00:23:26,271
I think this just might
be a little too much
589
00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:28,206
for me to handle on
my first day, you know?
590
00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:29,875
I understand.
591
00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:32,893
You're out of the hot seat, for now.
592
00:23:33,011 --> 00:23:34,379
Great.
593
00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:35,881
So, before you arrived
594
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:38,850
we were discussing the
role of bird imagery
595
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,450
in Shadow Lark
by Nick Stanton.
596
00:23:43,522 --> 00:23:46,223
Could I have my watch back?
597
00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:48,777
Do I really have to meet your barber?
598
00:23:48,877 --> 00:23:49,995
You should be asking
599
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:52,164
"do I really get
to meet your barber?"
600
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:53,999
You see, Judy, to a casual observer
601
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:56,034
Stuckeyville's like
any other small town.
602
00:23:56,134 --> 00:23:58,420
People like Mr.
Wilkies make it special.
603
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,205
What's so special about him?
604
00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:04,760
Nobody, but nobody tells
a story like this guy.
605
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:06,762
Every time you sit
in his barber chair
606
00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:08,347
the man spins a different yarn.
607
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,132
He's like the American Mark Twain.
608
00:24:10,232 --> 00:24:12,351
Mark Twain was American.
609
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:14,936
Yeah, but if Mark Twain were Chinese
610
00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:17,055
Mr. Wilkies would be
the American Mark Twain.
611
00:24:17,155 --> 00:24:18,056
Oh.
612
00:24:18,156 --> 00:24:19,191
Mr. Wilkies.
613
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,942
Hey, Mr. Wilkies.
614
00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:22,411
Hello, Ed.
615
00:24:22,511 --> 00:24:24,663
Say, those sideburns are
really starting to fill in
616
00:24:24,763 --> 00:24:25,914
another couple of years...
617
00:24:26,014 --> 00:24:27,366
Okay, Mr. Wilkies, thanks a lot.
618
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:28,667
Hey, this is my friend Judy.
619
00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:29,868
How about a story for Judy?
620
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,253
Which one you want to hear?
621
00:24:31,353 --> 00:24:32,754
Well, the one about the bear.
622
00:24:32,854 --> 00:24:35,207
When I was a kid I loved
the one about the bear.
623
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,607
All right, so...
624
00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:42,397
My buddy Marv and I are
out camping in the woods.
625
00:24:42,497 --> 00:24:43,899
We're sitting around the campfire
626
00:24:43,999 --> 00:24:45,150
heating up a can of beans.
627
00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,819
Suddenly, there's a rustling sound
628
00:24:47,919 --> 00:24:51,823
and we look over toward
the tent and there's a bear
629
00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:54,476
pawing through our food.
630
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,978
And Marv leans into me
631
00:24:57,078 --> 00:25:00,865
and says, "George, we got company."
632
00:25:03,568 --> 00:25:06,504
And that's the story.
633
00:25:08,139 --> 00:25:10,891
( laughs )
634
00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:14,079
No, no, no.
635
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,047
Okay, Mr. Wilkies, you
mind trying it again?
636
00:25:16,147 --> 00:25:18,583
But this time, the
voice, use the voice.
637
00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:19,818
What voice?
638
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,069
The voice, remember
639
00:25:21,169 --> 00:25:22,437
you used to imitate Marvin's voice.
640
00:25:22,537 --> 00:25:24,356
It's funnier that way,
really funny that way.
641
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:28,075
Funny, funny, funny.
642
00:25:29,494 --> 00:25:33,077
( in deep voice ):
"George, we got company."
643
00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:37,001
Try doing it more scared.
644
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:39,354
Oh.
645
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:43,624
( quavering ):
"George, we got company."
646
00:25:43,742 --> 00:25:46,194
Yeah.
647
00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:49,313
Wasn't it, "Chester, we got company"?
648
00:25:49,414 --> 00:25:52,784
Well, my name is
George, not Chester...
649
00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:55,184
so probably not.
650
00:25:55,954 --> 00:25:58,106
You still got it, Mr. Wilkies.
651
00:25:58,206 --> 00:26:00,506
Ha.
652
00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:07,866
You've made it to the
final four, my friend.
653
00:26:07,966 --> 00:26:10,266
Congratulations.
654
00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:16,491
Thanks. -No, no. Never
accept my congratulations.
655
00:26:16,591 --> 00:26:19,211
When you start to believe
what they say about you...
656
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:21,611
it's over.
657
00:26:24,649 --> 00:26:26,885
Now, I want you to watch what I do
658
00:26:26,985 --> 00:26:29,285
then do the same.
659
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,912
I am the ball.
660
00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:39,164
I see what the ball sees.
661
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,799
I do what the ball does.
662
00:26:46,638 --> 00:26:48,590
I am the ball, I am the ball...
663
00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:50,292
I am the ball...
664
00:26:50,392 --> 00:26:52,377
All right, well, if
this doesn't impress you
665
00:26:52,477 --> 00:26:53,545
nothing will, my friend
666
00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:54,713
for you are about to see
667
00:26:54,813 --> 00:26:56,431
the world's greatest bowling alley.
668
00:26:56,531 --> 00:26:58,099
Yes, well, I've already been here...
669
00:26:58,199 --> 00:27:00,018
Ah! You didn't get the grand tour.
670
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,586
You might want to shield your eyes
671
00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:04,686
lest you be blinded by the grandeur.
672
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:07,924
You're not going to shield?
673
00:27:12,030 --> 00:27:13,848
I am the ball, I am the ball
674
00:27:13,948 --> 00:27:15,517
I am the ball, I am the ball
675
00:27:15,617 --> 00:27:16,635
I am the ball...
676
00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:18,587
I am the ball, I am the ball
677
00:27:18,687 --> 00:27:20,305
I am the ball, I am the ball...
678
00:27:20,405 --> 00:27:21,806
I am the ball
679
00:27:21,906 --> 00:27:24,206
I am the...
680
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:38,623
Toblerone?
681
00:27:38,723 --> 00:27:40,041
Hello, may I see the Mayor?
682
00:27:40,141 --> 00:27:41,159
Woman: Of course.
683
00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:43,261
But not until you give me
684
00:27:43,361 --> 00:27:46,447
a seven-letter word
for "tiny TV tot."
685
00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:49,167
That would be Webster.
686
00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:53,070
I'm going to make you a key lime pie.
687
00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:54,773
Oh, no, you don't have to...
688
00:27:54,873 --> 00:27:56,157
Key lime pie!
689
00:27:56,257 --> 00:27:58,557
If you insist.
690
00:28:02,113 --> 00:28:03,281
Oh, yeah.
691
00:28:03,381 --> 00:28:04,966
Excuse me.
692
00:28:05,066 --> 00:28:08,786
Uh, Godfrey, wait outside.
693
00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:12,071
Feel free to use the phone.
694
00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:17,012
Godfrey...
695
00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:19,930
Mayor Kendricks, we need to talk.
696
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:21,633
Do you mind taking
Godfrey's position?
697
00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:25,569
I don't want to break my rhythm here.
698
00:28:27,288 --> 00:28:29,588
Okay.
699
00:28:30,608 --> 00:28:33,011
You see, I came here because...
700
00:28:33,111 --> 00:28:35,813
You're going to have to squat.
701
00:28:38,299 --> 00:28:40,599
Uh... okay.
702
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,191
( throat clearing )
703
00:28:58,153 --> 00:28:59,838
All right.
704
00:28:59,938 --> 00:29:01,139
You were saying?
705
00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:02,774
I just find I'm having
a really hard time
706
00:29:02,874 --> 00:29:04,042
getting through to this woman Judy.
707
00:29:04,142 --> 00:29:05,176
Oh?
708
00:29:05,276 --> 00:29:06,845
You know, I thought it would be easy.
709
00:29:06,945 --> 00:29:09,047
As a kid growing up here
710
00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:11,216
everything seemed special, you know?
711
00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:13,885
But now, ten years later...
712
00:29:13,985 --> 00:29:15,887
I don't know.
713
00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:19,189
I'm just at a little bit of a loss.
714
00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:20,875
Ed...
715
00:29:20,975 --> 00:29:23,011
Hmm?
716
00:29:23,111 --> 00:29:25,897
I like to think of
myself as an artist.
717
00:29:25,997 --> 00:29:28,866
Yeah, well, I've noticed.
718
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:31,052
My paintings are junk.
719
00:29:31,152 --> 00:29:33,004
The only piece of work
720
00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:35,906
I'm proud of is this town.
721
00:29:36,007 --> 00:29:38,943
I spent 30 years putting
a touch of green here
722
00:29:39,043 --> 00:29:41,378
a splash of blue there.
723
00:29:41,479 --> 00:29:42,814
And...
724
00:29:42,914 --> 00:29:45,950
if you hold the thing
up to a certain light
725
00:29:46,050 --> 00:29:47,552
I think it's beautiful.
726
00:29:47,652 --> 00:29:48,620
Me, too.
727
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,121
And, like a painting
728
00:29:50,221 --> 00:29:52,691
it has a way of changing over time.
729
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:56,428
I mean, if you look at a
Rembrandt when you're 15
730
00:29:56,528 --> 00:29:58,563
and then again when you're 45
731
00:29:58,663 --> 00:30:03,667
you find a whole new set of
things to fall in love with.
732
00:30:03,768 --> 00:30:08,205
The latest polls have Jim
Ludwig 15 points ahead.
733
00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:10,841
You can't quit on me, Stevens.
734
00:30:10,942 --> 00:30:14,211
Your town needs you.
735
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:15,914
You make me feel like Batman.
736
00:30:16,014 --> 00:30:20,217
I'm sorry, son, I don't
follow the funny papers.
737
00:30:27,859 --> 00:30:30,194
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
738
00:30:30,295 --> 00:30:31,346
where are you going?
739
00:30:31,446 --> 00:30:32,564
Back to Chicago.
740
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:34,099
Oh, no, you can't. You mustn't.
741
00:30:34,199 --> 00:30:37,435
Ed, we normally
visit a town this size
742
00:30:37,535 --> 00:30:40,237
for a couple of hours, at most.
743
00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:42,073
Give me one reason
why I shouldn't leave.
744
00:30:42,173 --> 00:30:44,192
Because if you leave...
745
00:30:44,292 --> 00:30:45,510
you'll miss it.
746
00:30:45,610 --> 00:30:47,278
What will I miss, Ed?
747
00:30:47,378 --> 00:30:49,247
The most cherished
historical traditional event
748
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:50,515
on the Stuckeyville calendar.
749
00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:51,616
And what would that be?
750
00:30:51,716 --> 00:30:53,752
The festival...
751
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,004
of ducks.
752
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:58,089
The Festival of Ducks.
753
00:30:58,189 --> 00:31:00,225
What's the Festival of Ducks?
754
00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:02,625
I have no idea.
755
00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:04,062
Whoa, Shazam...
756
00:31:04,162 --> 00:31:05,230
hang on there, partner.
757
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:07,282
Here, pound this down,
it's a smart drink.
758
00:31:07,382 --> 00:31:10,049
It'll get those synapses firing.
759
00:31:11,469 --> 00:31:12,704
This is grape soda.
760
00:31:12,804 --> 00:31:13,705
Shh!
761
00:31:13,805 --> 00:31:17,059
I'm done with you, Phil. I've
been coming here every day at 5 AM
762
00:31:17,159 --> 00:31:19,210
and neither of us ever
touched a bowling ball.
763
00:31:19,310 --> 00:31:21,913
My teaching methods may be
unorthodox, but... -No, no, no.
764
00:31:22,013 --> 00:31:25,346
You know what, I bet
you can't even bowl.
765
00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:27,969
Phil Stubbs can bowl.
766
00:31:28,069 --> 00:31:30,720
You know, now that I think of it
767
00:31:30,822 --> 00:31:32,257
I've never seen you bowl, either
768
00:31:32,357 --> 00:31:35,894
which is strange, seeing as
you live in a bowling alley.
769
00:31:35,994 --> 00:31:37,011
Yeah.
770
00:31:37,111 --> 00:31:39,411
Let's see you bowl, sensei.
771
00:31:41,082 --> 00:31:43,382
Very well, then.
772
00:32:20,622 --> 00:32:22,922
( pins falling )
773
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:30,965
There's nothing wrong with a six.
774
00:32:31,065 --> 00:32:33,518
I knocked down more
than half the pins, okay?
775
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:35,720
There is no shame in a gentleman six.
776
00:32:35,820 --> 00:32:37,572
Where you going? I've got 60%.
777
00:32:37,672 --> 00:32:41,559
If a presidential candidate
got 60% of the vote
778
00:32:41,659 --> 00:32:43,711
that'd be considered a landslide.
779
00:32:43,811 --> 00:32:46,111
I've got a mandate, Shazam!
780
00:32:48,483 --> 00:32:50,835
Hey, Carol. Don't mind them.
781
00:32:50,935 --> 00:32:52,804
Why aren't you at Pine Forest?
782
00:32:52,904 --> 00:32:55,874
Um... actually, you know,
it just wasn't for me.
783
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:59,711
I'm sorry. I really, I wanted
to thank you for trying though.
784
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:00,695
( sighs )
785
00:33:00,795 --> 00:33:02,030
Oh.
786
00:33:02,130 --> 00:33:06,000
So, what now? -I got to do this.
787
00:33:06,100 --> 00:33:09,087
( sighs )
Why is it suddenly my lot in life
788
00:33:09,187 --> 00:33:11,890
to convince women not
to leave Stuckeyville?
789
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,558
What?
790
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,660
Carol, maybe leaving
here would help you write
791
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,662
but maybe it
wouldn't... I don't know.
792
00:33:17,762 --> 00:33:20,465
Is that really why you're leaving?
793
00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:23,316
You see, when I left New York...
794
00:33:23,434 --> 00:33:26,170
I was running away from my problems:
795
00:33:26,270 --> 00:33:30,174
you know, shipwrecked marriage,
capsizing career and...
796
00:33:30,274 --> 00:33:33,645
I was adrift... these are
my boating analogies...
797
00:33:33,745 --> 00:33:36,814
an-and I... I just put
everything behind me
798
00:33:36,914 --> 00:33:41,402
and I focused all my energy on
something else... someone else.
799
00:33:41,502 --> 00:33:44,654
I think you know her.
800
00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:45,990
Mm-hmm.
801
00:33:46,090 --> 00:33:48,525
But, you see, try as I might
802
00:33:48,626 --> 00:33:51,546
I couldn't leave my
problems in New York.
803
00:33:51,646 --> 00:33:53,548
I had to face them anyway.
804
00:33:53,648 --> 00:33:55,967
So, my message to you would be:
805
00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:59,469
Yeah, you can leave if you want to.
806
00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:01,870
Just don't run away.
807
00:34:04,642 --> 00:34:06,945
Besides, the simple
fact of the matter is
808
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,345
you can't live without me.
809
00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:11,449
What?
810
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:14,352
You can run away to Guam, Borneo
or Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
811
00:34:14,452 --> 00:34:17,689
God knows where... a couple of
weeks, you're making a beeline
812
00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:20,456
right back to Stuckeyville. Why?
813
00:34:20,858 --> 00:34:23,527
Capital "E", lowercase "d."
814
00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,530
Ha! You've got to be kidding me.
815
00:34:25,630 --> 00:34:27,332
( giggles )
816
00:34:27,432 --> 00:34:29,732
Uh-huh.
817
00:34:31,369 --> 00:34:33,855
Okay, everybody, I've
gathered you here tonight
818
00:34:33,955 --> 00:34:36,874
because there's less than 24
hours until the Festival of Ducks.
819
00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:39,477
"The what?" she asked,
dreading the answer.
820
00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:40,778
New Orleans has Mardi Gras
821
00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:44,983
New York, the Thanksgiving Parade. Now
Stuckeyville has the Festival of Ducks.
822
00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:46,284
It's up to the people in this room
823
00:34:46,384 --> 00:34:48,319
to decide what the
heck that's going to be.
824
00:34:48,419 --> 00:34:49,654
Who's with me?
825
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:54,359
All right, if it'll help
Mayor Kendricks, I'm in.
826
00:34:54,459 --> 00:34:55,693
Yeah, yeah, me, too.
827
00:34:55,793 --> 00:34:57,862
That Jim Ludwig gives me the creeps.
828
00:34:57,962 --> 00:35:00,365
I am, as always, your
loyal foot soldier.
829
00:35:00,465 --> 00:35:02,183
Thanks, Phil.
830
00:35:02,283 --> 00:35:03,434
Mike?
831
00:35:03,534 --> 00:35:05,353
I'm allergic to goose down.
832
00:35:05,453 --> 00:35:07,538
Is that going to be a problem?
833
00:35:07,638 --> 00:35:08,306
Shouldn't be.
834
00:35:08,406 --> 00:35:10,341
I'm in.
835
00:35:10,441 --> 00:35:12,741
Let's do it.
836
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:16,848
Please tell me Ed talked
some sense into you.
837
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,384
Oh, you know, I think
he's missing the point.
838
00:35:19,484 --> 00:35:20,551
I'm not running away.
839
00:35:20,651 --> 00:35:21,853
I'm running toward.
840
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:24,439
Young Carol Vessey has
set off to see the world
841
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:27,225
and maybe even discover
herself along the way.
842
00:35:27,325 --> 00:35:30,061
Molls, be gentle. This
is a big deal for me.
843
00:35:30,161 --> 00:35:32,530
Yeah, well, it's a big
deal for me, too, you know.
844
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:33,614
You're my best friend.
845
00:35:33,714 --> 00:35:34,732
And you're my best friend.
846
00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:36,150
That's why I can't believe
847
00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:38,036
you would even consider
trying to hold me back.
848
00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:39,037
( sighs )
849
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,571
You know what? You're right.
850
00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:43,574
You're right. I mean, to
hold you back from something
851
00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:46,044
that could further
your career would be...
852
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,578
very selfish of me.
853
00:35:47,678 --> 00:35:49,080
Yes, it would.
854
00:35:49,180 --> 00:35:51,816
Except for one thing: I don't buy it.
855
00:35:51,916 --> 00:35:53,384
What?
856
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:54,719
Not a word of it. No sale, sorry.
857
00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:56,971
Wh-what don't you buy?
858
00:35:57,071 --> 00:35:58,923
This whole "got to leave
to be a writer" thing
859
00:35:59,023 --> 00:36:00,641
it's a little bit
much, don't you think?
860
00:36:00,741 --> 00:36:02,093
I mean, "I have to abandon
861
00:36:02,193 --> 00:36:04,395
"my cherished home
and my beloved friends
862
00:36:04,495 --> 00:36:05,830
for the sake of my art."
863
00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:08,965
Go on, that's not you, Carol.
864
00:36:09,066 --> 00:36:11,402
It's... it's a little
too... Nick Stanton.
865
00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:12,954
What?!
866
00:36:13,054 --> 00:36:14,972
All right, look, I have held
my tongue for seven years
867
00:36:15,072 --> 00:36:16,507
because I knew how
much Nick meant to you
868
00:36:16,607 --> 00:36:18,676
but you know what?
The dam just broke.
869
00:36:18,776 --> 00:36:21,646
Nick Stanton is a class
A, top-of-the-line jerk.
870
00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:22,980
And you know what else?
871
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,116
He doesn't even deserve to be a jerk.
872
00:36:25,216 --> 00:36:26,417
His books suck. Shadow Lark?
873
00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:28,553
What kind of tool calls
his book Shadow Lark?
874
00:36:28,653 --> 00:36:30,588
Come on, the guy thinks
he's Ernest Hemingway
875
00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,690
when, frankly, he's not
even Ernest Borgnine.
876
00:36:32,790 --> 00:36:33,991
And what's worse? Molls...
877
00:36:34,091 --> 00:36:35,560
He treated you like crap.
878
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:37,695
Okay? Like, like...
like a little girl
879
00:36:37,795 --> 00:36:40,281
and every time you'd
walk by him in the hall
880
00:36:40,381 --> 00:36:41,616
or... or on the street
881
00:36:41,716 --> 00:36:44,068
and he gives you one
of those smug looks
882
00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:46,771
he makes you see yourself
the way he sees you
883
00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:49,774
and that, my friend, is
why you are leaving town.
884
00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:50,992
I'm sorry.
885
00:36:51,092 --> 00:36:53,759
Ed's right. You're running away.
886
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:55,947
Whew.
887
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:58,347
Okay, I'm done talking now.
888
00:37:14,999 --> 00:37:17,718
May I have your attention?
889
00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:21,088
The hour is upon us.
890
00:37:21,188 --> 00:37:23,773
The time is close at hand.
891
00:37:23,874 --> 00:37:26,511
But, first, I've been
asked to announce the winner
892
00:37:26,611 --> 00:37:28,679
of the Stuckeyville
Bowling Tournament.
893
00:37:28,779 --> 00:37:31,079
Ladies and gentlemen...
894
00:37:32,350 --> 00:37:34,252
Kevin Schwartz!
895
00:37:34,352 --> 00:37:36,821
( crowd cheering and applauding )
896
00:37:36,921 --> 00:37:39,157
We are the champions, my friend.
897
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:43,376
Whoo!
898
00:37:43,494 --> 00:37:48,898
And now, let the
Festival of Ducks begin!
899
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,300
( cheering )
900
00:38:00,244 --> 00:38:02,446
Man ( over loudspeaker
): In the year 1784
901
00:38:02,546 --> 00:38:03,948
the town of Stuckeyville
902
00:38:04,048 --> 00:38:07,451
was founded by a man
named Jeff Stuckey
903
00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:09,487
no relation to the restaurant chain.
904
00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,689
When swimming in the town pond
905
00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:16,393
Jeff developed a severe foot
cramp and started to drown.
906
00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:20,631
Miraculously, a family of ducks
began swimming into his body
907
00:38:20,731 --> 00:38:22,800
slowly nudging him toward the shore.
908
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:27,937
Every year, at this time, we
celebrate the glorious bird
909
00:38:28,039 --> 00:38:30,440
that saved our founder's life.
910
00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:34,629
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
911
00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:36,214
the Duck!
912
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,549
( crowd cheering )
913
00:38:39,650 --> 00:38:41,719
Whoo!
914
00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:44,119
Yeah!
915
00:38:48,392 --> 00:38:50,294
The Duck!
916
00:38:50,394 --> 00:38:53,346
( cheering continues )
917
00:39:03,307 --> 00:39:05,792
Um...
918
00:39:05,910 --> 00:39:08,210
Quack, quack.
919
00:39:09,046 --> 00:39:09,847
( ducks quacking )
920
00:39:09,947 --> 00:39:11,182
That's all I got.
921
00:39:11,282 --> 00:39:12,516
Beer's over there!
922
00:39:12,616 --> 00:39:14,352
( cheering )
923
00:39:14,452 --> 00:39:16,752
( people talking )
924
00:39:25,129 --> 00:39:26,197
( bell clangs )
925
00:39:26,297 --> 00:39:28,582
( all laughing )
926
00:39:28,682 --> 00:39:30,982
Whoo!
927
00:39:31,435 --> 00:39:33,735
Thank you.
928
00:39:34,688 --> 00:39:37,208
Hey. So, how do you
like our little festival?
929
00:39:37,308 --> 00:39:39,076
See you there enjoying yourself.
930
00:39:39,176 --> 00:39:41,279
Well, I'm not made
of stone, you know.
931
00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:42,647
Look...
932
00:39:42,747 --> 00:39:44,649
( clears throat )
933
00:39:44,749 --> 00:39:46,717
It means that much to you people
934
00:39:46,817 --> 00:39:48,753
I'll give you four stars.
935
00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:50,788
That's... that's great.
936
00:39:50,888 --> 00:39:52,456
Well, that's great.
937
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:53,791
Yeah? Ed...
938
00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:56,093
Did you do all of
this for me? You did.
939
00:39:56,193 --> 00:39:58,396
No.
940
00:39:58,496 --> 00:40:00,064
No, I did it for Stuckeyville.
941
00:40:00,164 --> 00:40:03,634
Whenever the Mayor flashes the
Ed signal, I spring into action.
942
00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:05,102
The what?
943
00:40:05,202 --> 00:40:08,037
You know, the Ed signal.
944
00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:09,940
Like the Bat signal.
945
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,392
Batman.
946
00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:14,612
Step right up. Step right up.
947
00:40:14,712 --> 00:40:17,114
Fool the guesser, win a duck.
948
00:40:17,214 --> 00:40:19,450
All righty, Miss. Let's see.
949
00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:23,586
I'm guessing you tip
the scales at an even...
950
00:40:23,687 --> 00:40:25,589
180.
951
00:40:25,689 --> 00:40:26,957
No?
952
00:40:27,057 --> 00:40:29,460
Well, don't tell me
you're busting the deuce!
953
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:30,594
( laughing )
954
00:40:30,694 --> 00:40:32,396
Oh, hey, Mr. Mayor, guess what?
955
00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:34,131
Judy's giving us four stars.
956
00:40:34,231 --> 00:40:35,533
Really?
957
00:40:35,633 --> 00:40:37,251
Well, how about that.
958
00:40:37,351 --> 00:40:41,072
Well, seriously, will it kill
you to bump us up to five?
959
00:40:41,172 --> 00:40:42,723
Ha, ha, don't push your luck.
960
00:40:42,823 --> 00:40:43,674
( chuckles )
961
00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:44,725
Yeah? Ed...
962
00:40:44,825 --> 00:40:46,844
I want you to have this.
963
00:40:46,944 --> 00:40:49,244
Oh!
964
00:40:50,748 --> 00:40:54,352
I do believe I captured
your raw animal sexuality.
965
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:56,087
( laughing )
966
00:40:56,187 --> 00:40:58,289
Oh...
967
00:40:58,389 --> 00:41:00,291
Dear... God.
968
00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:03,292
( laughing )
969
00:41:03,394 --> 00:41:05,046
Four stars, Molly.
970
00:41:05,146 --> 00:41:08,382
Jaspertown can kiss
my Stuckeyvillian.
971
00:41:08,482 --> 00:41:09,633
Okay. You know what?
972
00:41:09,733 --> 00:41:11,385
You have been spending too much time
973
00:41:11,485 --> 00:41:12,503
with Mayor Kendricks.
974
00:41:12,603 --> 00:41:14,138
Hey, Carol!
975
00:41:14,238 --> 00:41:17,274
Hello. I thought maybe the cleanup
crew could use a little snack.
976
00:41:17,374 --> 00:41:19,110
No. Are those...
977
00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:21,262
Suzeechio. All right.
978
00:41:21,362 --> 00:41:23,481
Yeah, when I heard
they were shutting down
979
00:41:23,581 --> 00:41:25,483
I bought a-a whole
freezer full by...
980
00:41:25,583 --> 00:41:27,884
Smart. She's very smart.
981
00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:28,936
She is. Um, okay.
982
00:41:29,036 --> 00:41:30,054
So talk to me.
983
00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:32,223
Are you staying, are you going, what?
984
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:37,061
Actually, I have decided...
to postpone my travel plans.
985
00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,095
Okay.
986
00:41:38,195 --> 00:41:40,495
( laughing )
987
00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:44,034
But this is not because
I can't live without you.
988
00:41:44,134 --> 00:41:46,170
Then why?
989
00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:49,790
Let's just say you weren't
wrong about everything.
990
00:41:49,890 --> 00:41:51,375
I wasn't wrong about anything?
991
00:41:51,475 --> 00:41:54,044
Please, Carol, it's plainly
obvious you cannot resist me
992
00:41:54,144 --> 00:41:55,346
in a big, wacky duck suit.
993
00:41:55,446 --> 00:41:58,681
Do you see this?
994
00:41:58,782 --> 00:42:01,985
This is me resisting you.
995
00:42:02,086 --> 00:42:03,354
Look at you.
996
00:42:03,454 --> 00:42:05,723
You are just dying to
climb in here with me.
997
00:42:05,823 --> 00:42:07,792
If you keep this up,
you're going to be hanging
998
00:42:07,892 --> 00:42:09,760
in the window of a
Chinese restaurant.
999
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:12,160
( chuckles )
1000
00:42:27,745 --> 00:42:32,495
Sync and corrections: Lemonzoo
www.prijevodi-online.org
68816
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