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[theme music playing]
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♪ When super me
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Becomes super we ♪
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♪ Suddenly, magically
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Pretty automatically ♪
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♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
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♪ Look out, world
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We're Super Hero Girls ♪
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♪ Now that we're together
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Gonna get that super life! ♪
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♪ Wow! ♪
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"Um, avast scalawag.
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I'm, uh, Swash Buckler,
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scourge of the Seven Seas."
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"Avast scalawag...
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I'm swashbuckler
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scourge of the sev--"
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[Zatanna] Swash Buckler,
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not swashbuckler!
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Oh...
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I don't get it.
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So, yeah like, um...
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go ahead and
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avast, Mr. Scalawag,
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'cause I'm,
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like, Swash Buckler,
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the scourge
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of the Seven Seas
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and stuff, and...
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[Zatanna yells]
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Read the lines, Hal!
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Oh, right. Uh...
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"Swash Buckler
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enters stage right.
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He stands upon
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the deck of the..."
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[frustrated] Next!
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Ugh. This is a disaster, Karen.
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Swash Buckler
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on the Seven Seas
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could be the best play
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I've ever done!
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The costumes are hand-sewn,
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soaked in saltwater
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for authenticity...
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The
Impolite Minnow
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is the most ambitious set
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in Metropolis High history!
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And the finest
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most gifted actor
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ever to grace this stage
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will play Lady Catharine.
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But I thought you were
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playing Lady Catharine?
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Look, the point is,
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none of this matters
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if I can't find
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the right actor
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to play Swash Buckler!
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-[sighs in exasperation]
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-[man] Greetings, company!
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[in accent] Stage role.
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Your leading man has arrived.
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[softly] Oh, no.
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The name is Oliver Queen.
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I've portrayed everyone
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from the Phantom
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to the Streetcar.
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Lois Lane of the
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Daily Planetoid
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has called my performances
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"bold," "brash,"
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and "bang on the beam,"
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which I assume
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means good. So...
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do you want to go through
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with this charade
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of me auditioning
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or shall we proceed
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to dress rehearsal?
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[whispers] I dunno Zee,
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Oliver seems pretty perfect.
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Uh, I hate to admit it...
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I mean, really hate
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to admit it, but--
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[man 2 in distance]
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"Avast, ye scalawags!
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-[heroic music plays]
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-[crowd chattering]
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[groans]
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"I am Swash Buckler,
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scourge of the
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Seven Seas!
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Look not to this coward
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for salvation!
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With Swash Buckler
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at the helm,
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the horizon holds treasures
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to last to your dying days!
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There's no chains
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to hold you now, men!"
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[all cheering]
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"Fill the sails
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with freedom's wind!
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And throw that bloated symbol
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of yesteryear to the sharks!"
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[all] Yeah!
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Put me down!
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What are you doing?
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[screams]
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Ha-ha!
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Who are you, stranger?
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Who am I?
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Why, I'm your new
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Swash Buckler, m'lady!
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No you're not, sir!
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Put me down.
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You're not seriously
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considering this hack, are you?
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[gasps] You are!
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You are, aren't you!
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Look at me!
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[whispers] What do I do, Karen?
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A second ago I didn't have
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a Swash Buckler
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and now I've got two!
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Maybe you should do callbacks
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and then decide?
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Hmm.
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Oliver would hate that...
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Callbacks!
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Ha! I've never been
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so insulted in my life.
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Who is this arrogant,
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incompetent, pompous--
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Mortimer... Drake.
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And, um,
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don't be so hard on Zee.
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She's just trying to make sure
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the right person
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gets the role, you know?
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As she should!
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As long as it's me.
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"Dawn breaks
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in the west tonight, men.
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The laws of this mortal world
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no longer bind us.
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We are here
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to brave the sirens
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and sea herself."
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Time to push this
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pointless competition
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over the tipping... point.
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"...sailors on
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eternity's tides.
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So come on girl,
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listen to me,
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uh huh, uh-huh...
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Baby, baby, oh, can't you see?
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[stuttering]
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That me plus you...
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equals love that's..."
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[sings]
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♪ "True..." ♪
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Are those...
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Up Past Eight lyrics?
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Thank you, I've heard enough.
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[stuttering]
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But... but...
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I take the theater
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very seriously, sir.
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Perhaps as Oliver's understudy
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you'll see that
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there's no room
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for these sorts of
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sophomoric jokes
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on my stage.
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Of course.
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I respect your decision.
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The important thing is that
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the right person gets the role.
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[laughs cunningly]
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"Ready the
Impolite Minnow.
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My Uncle will rue the day
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he crossed me."
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[Oliver]
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"Of course, Lady Catharine.
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We'll reach the channel
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by sundown...
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and my men shall--"
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[screams]
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[instrumental music plays]
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[squeaking]
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[tense music plays]
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-[fires]
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-[thuds]
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You!
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I'm warning you, Drake.
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No funny business tonight.
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I'm sure I don't know
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what you're
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talking about, Queen.
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Oh, you know perfectly well
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what I'm talking about!
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You've been trying to
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sabotage me
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ever since I...
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sabotaged you
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in callbacks.
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Well I know your game, Drake.
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Wait.
212
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You sabotaged
213
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his audition?
214
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Of course!
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The best person
216
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had to have the role!
217
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I... agree.
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So you will be playing
219
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Swash Buckler tonight.
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What?
221
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I need a leading man
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with character,
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which you clearly don't have.
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Sabotaging a rival, why,
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it's an insult to the theater!
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Thanks for the opportunity.
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Sorry, Oliver. But, um,
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look at it this way.
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Now you'll have a chance
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to redeem yourself.
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You know,
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to be the bigger man!
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Maybe you lost the part,
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but you can gain
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something even better!
236
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Your integrity.
237
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You can stand up and say,
238
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"I did wrong and I accept
239
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the consequences."
240
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No, that doesn't
241
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sound like me.
242
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I'm gonna go trash
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his dressing room instead.
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Ahhh!
245
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[thuds]
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[Oliver] Ugh, no style!
247
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-[object clattering]
248
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-Look at this shirt,
249
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it's last season!
250
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[effort grunt]
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[grunting]
252
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Huh?
253
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[suspenseful music plays]
254
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,069
Hmm. A fifth grade production
255
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,204
of
The Three Musketeers?
256
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,570
Pssh. How cliche.
257
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,196
"The cast is generally strong.
258
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,623
However, Morty Drake
259
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,623
is horribly out of his depth
260
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,121
as D'Artagnan.
261
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It's an embarrassing turn
262
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,873
from an 11-year-old
263
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,924
who lacks
264
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the necessary gravitas
265
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,924
for the part."
266
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[laughs] Once a hack,
267
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,788
always a hack.
268
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"On the other end
269
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of the spectrum...
270
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Zee Zatara was radiant in
271
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the role of Milady de Winter,
272
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acting circles around
273
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hapless Morty Drake."
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[dramatic gasp]
275
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[gasping]
276
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,765
[dramatic music plays]
277
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,274
-[crowd clapping]
278
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,274
-[Drake] "Up anchor, men!
279
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,691
Sail east,
280
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,809
to the heart of
281
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,809
King James' dominion!
282
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,226
Let's show him how
283
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,744
the
Impolite Minnow
284
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,744
earned her name!"
285
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,276
"Oh, But Swash,
286
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,820
how can we evade
287
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,820
my uncle's entire fleet?"
288
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,945
"Fear not, Lady Catharine.
289
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,542
I have experience
290
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,542
in treacherous waters
291
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,408
with sharks lurking below,
292
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:55,504
their sharp teeth ready
293
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,420
to shred your dreams."
294
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,422
[groans] What?
295
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,260
Wait, that isn't the line...
296
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,626
I, too,
297
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,626
have had dreams crushed,
298
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,013
Lady Catharine.
299
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,800
I know the exquisite sting
300
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,513
of public humiliation,
301
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,013
repeating that awful experience
302
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,013
in your mind
303
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,216
until you realize
304
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,726
that you'll never escape!
305
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,347
I know what it's like
306
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:18,524
to be stuck in the
307
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:18,524
worst day imaginable,
308
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:22,073
the day my life
309
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:22,073
was ruined by...
310
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,859
-you, Zee Zatara!
311
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,859
-[crowd gasps]
312
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,953
[gasps] What are you doing?
313
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,488
Hear my name well,
314
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,701
for it is the last
315
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,701
that shall ever
316
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,701
reach your ears.
317
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,163
I am...
318
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,703
The Cavalier!
319
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,786
[crowd gasps]
320
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,884
Though perhaps
321
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,884
you might remember me
322
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,419
by a different name.
323
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,802
Does Mortimer Drake
324
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,802
ring a bell?
325
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,178
[embarrassed]
326
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,178
Morty Drake, you know...
327
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,049
I was D'Artagnan
328
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,049
to your Milady de Winter?
329
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,682
Central City Elementary?
330
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,933
I... I meet so many people...
331
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,436
Gah!
332
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,727
You shall pay for your crimes,
333
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,727
Zee Zatara!
334
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,231
I shall have my revenge!
335
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,526
Fear not, fair lady!
336
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,199
Green Arrow
337
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,199
is here to save you!
338
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,659
Ew, ew, get off! Get off!
339
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:11,778
Who asked you
340
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:11,778
to save anybody?
341
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,159
-[effort grunt]
342
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,159
-[chuckles]
343
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,828
Ha! Give me a sword!
344
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,840
This is the
345
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,840
weirdest play ever.
346
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,126
En garde!
347
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,800
Stay out of my way,
348
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,800
Green Arrow.
349
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,628
Or taste the bitter steel
350
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,628
of my blade!
351
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:28,974
Never, Cavalier!
352
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,139
I will always protect
353
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,139
my friends!
354
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,598
Even friends I hate,
355
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,598
like Zee Zatara!
356
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,099
-[effort grunt]
357
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,099
-[grunts]
358
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,021
-[effort grunt]
359
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,021
-Huh?
360
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,401
Eh, you're quite good
361
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,401
with a blade, Cavalier.
362
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,979
But you've never
363
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,979
faced anything
364
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,284
like what's in my quiver.
365
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,783
Ha! Your aim
366
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,783
is as muddled
367
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,320
as your elocution,
368
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,320
Green Arrow.
369
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,656
How dare you criticize
370
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,656
my delivery!
371
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,620
Meet my cannonball arrow.
372
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,457
[explosion]
373
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,869
Lower the curtain, Karen!
374
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,285
My play is ruined!
375
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,844
-[explosion in distance]
376
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,844
-[crowd cheering]
377
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:05,998
Raise the curtain, Karen!
378
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,376
My play is a triumph!
379
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,128
[crowd cheering]
380
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,335
[Green Arrow] You deserve
381
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,335
those bad reviews,
382
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,005
you melodramatic hack!
383
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,513
[both grunting]
384
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,604
[Cavalier]
385
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,604
And you've got about
386
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,928
as much stage presence as her!
387
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,103
-[Zatanna] Hey!
388
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,103
-[grunts] Ha!
389
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,982
-[gasps]
390
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,982
-[all gasp]
391
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,059
[effort grunt]
392
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,606
-[grunts]
393
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,606
-[grunts]
394
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,028
-[Green Arrow grunts]
395
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,028
-[Cavalier] Ha, ha!
396
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,568
-[Green Arrow] Oh!
397
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,568
-[Cavalier] Ha!
398
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,570
[Green Arrow whimpers]
399
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,570
Oh!
400
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,242
-Ha!
401
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,242
-[crowd gasps]
402
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,331
Prepare for your final
403
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,331
curtain call, Green Arrow...
404
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,196
[growls]
405
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,115
There's only one way
406
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,115
to stop you...
407
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,543
[dramatic music plays]
408
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:47,053
My Heckler Arrows.
409
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,707
Always knew
410
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,707
they'd come in handy
411
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,707
some day.
412
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,665
[arrows groaning]
413
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,047
No! Make it stop! Please!
414
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,176
[screams] No!
415
00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,813
-[grunts]
416
00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,813
-[groans]
417
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,139
-[gasps]
418
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,139
-[crowd gasps]
419
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,306
[sighs]
420
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,903
[dramatically]
421
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,903
Remember me, friends.
422
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,018
As a villain,
423
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,154
a rogue,
424
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,110
a pirate captain in a facile,
425
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,240
witless play...
426
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,277
[Zatanna yells] What?
427
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,779
...remember me most of all
428
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:15,120
for that which
429
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:15,120
burns in my soul...
430
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,033
remember me...
431
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,985
always as... an...
432
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,496
actor.
433
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,208
Cavalier! I didn't mean...
434
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,208
I never...
435
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,419
I'm so sorry.
436
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,379
[laughs]
437
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,379
Thank you. Thank you.
438
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:31,010
-[gasps]
439
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:31,010
-[crowd gasps]
440
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,217
You're remarkable!
441
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,836
That was the most
442
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,836
convincing death scene
443
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,096
I've ever witnessed.
444
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,428
I was lying before,
445
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,103
your delivery
446
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,103
is exquisite.
447
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,181
You could even make
448
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,181
this terrible play sound good.
449
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,806
Oh. You're too kind.
450
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:46,152
Your immense talent shows
451
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,147
right through her
452
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,147
unimaginative direction.
453
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,729
[chuckles]
454
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,729
And how about her acting?
455
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,324
As dynamic as a wet cloth
456
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,324
draped over a radiator.
457
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,570
[laughs]
458
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:55,112
Okay. I'm right here, guys,
459
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,405
you know, right here.
460
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,158
-[both laugh]
461
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,158
-A-ha!
462
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,699
-[both laughing]
463
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,699
-[crowd clapping]
464
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,661
[theme music playing]
27010