All language subtitles for Co_Ed_Confidential_S03E03_720p_HDTV_TVV_30NAMA

It's spring break! We've got some
serious poppies to do!

Let the 10th annual Spring Break
Olympics begin!

Don't believe everything you hear.

Morse. You're mine now.

The female bites his head off! That is
kind of romantic.

You keep score as you score.

It's kinky.

I like it. You're the only one for me.
What can I say? It's my sentimental

streak. I can explain.

What's a sore back compared to a broken
heart? Very poetic.

You know, I'm new to town. Can you give
me directions to your bedroom?

Lame. Can I borrow a quarter?

What for?

I'd like to call your mother and tell
her you're not coming home tonight.

You can't be serious.

Oh, come on. These are my best lines, my
closers.

Wow. I'd like to hear they also ran.

So I guess this is good night or good
morning, whichever.

Wait.

Where are you going?

I think I've changed my mind.

I mean, you've been working hard all
night.

Coming up with all that crap can't be
easy.

It isn't.

Maybe it's time for your reward.

Now, if a star fell from the sky every
time I thought about you... Okay, okay,

enough talking.

Okay.

Time for action.

Come dance for me.

Yes.

Give me a sexy face.

Yes.

Okay, now make a look at the camera.

Make love to the camera.

Okay,

okay, that's enough.

So, are we gonna...

It's a home job.

Oh,

I feel like a million bucks. I'm walking
down the street with

my money down my.

I'm standing in front of you. I'm in the
state that we are in.

You better hold my hand. You better hold
my

hand. You better hold

my hand.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Johnson's bar is giving away free drinks
to anyone with a tramp stamp.

So?

So that's every girl in our bar.

We'll be broke by the end of the week.

Is that Ophelia's or Layla's? I'm
confused here.

She's gone.

They're both gone.

Screwed it up with Ophelia just like I
screwed it up last time with Layla.

Me and this whole marriage thing just
don't mix.

It's okay. You had a couple of strikes.

You're still a bat.

Yeah. If either of them were here right
now, they'd shove that bat where the sun

don't shine.

Man slut! I'm proud of it.

I pity that poor girl being used for
your sleazy little game.

Yeah?

Booyah! Cha -ching!

You've been banging like a barn door in
the wind. Time out, time out.

The game is suspended, okay?

Clear rule violations, thank you. You've
been drugging those freshmen. Speak for

yourself, douche bucket.

There's not going to be any more spring
break scoreboard if we can't make our

next mortgage payment.

We need cash, and we need fast.

Game's not over. Not by a long shot.

Larry, ice princess.

That name's going to stick with me for a
while, isn't it?

Oh, no.

What? What's oh, no? I've known that
tone since preschool.

The hey, Larry, which leads to can you
do my essay, or can you change my grade

in the school's computer, or how much do
you know about genital warts?

Okay, you got me.

I need your help. Another flare -up? I
don't want to look. Just take the

You're still in that whole making movies
thing, right? The cameras, the tripod

and all that?

Yeah. Well, I say we make movies, big
hits. Help James and Jenny to make

payments on double Ds.

Well, I have written this new script
about my recent breakup. It's called The

Hole in My Soul. Oh.

I told you, I'm not over it yet,
Pumpkin. These things take time.

We have all the time in the world.

It starts out on the highway, but we're
traveling.

The white line.

And the middle of the road is streaking
by.

And as we pan up, we see in the
distance... A pair of big kids.

No. I love it. Let's do it. First couple
notes.

Small changes, really.

We'll do it in color. And we won't
actually use your script. In fact, we

even read your script. There'll be no
script.

Just girls taking their clothes off,
being wild. What a movie.

It's not a movie. It's a porno tape.
DVD. Keep up, Larry.

And it's what people want to see. Girls.

Boobs. A few laughs.

Laughing drunk girls with boobs!

Cinema gold!

Ta -da!

Looks like so.

We can't do that. It's immoral.

I mean, it's exploitation.

Entertainment. Profiting from people's
lapses in judgment.

Exploiting their weaknesses.

Appealing to the lowest common
denominator.

Lowest common to what?

Parading naked bodies around for the
amusement of a jaded audience. I mean,

not right.

Whenever I see those ads for those
tapes... DVDs. Geez, it's 2009.

I count her. I think, oh, that poor
girl.

She's going to get a call from her mom
one day saying she sees her little girl

on TV taking all her clothes off.

That was a tough call to make.

James and Jenny need cash.

And your artsy -fartsy, soul -in -the
-hole, black -and -white movies aren't

going to make squat.

If we lose the bar, we don't have a
place to stay. Spring breaks over.

Nobody makes king.

Yin or what?

Uh,

we're closed.

I'm not here for a drink.

I'm here to see Ophelia.

Well, I'm afraid she's already left.

Uh, her husband, ex -husband, never was
husband here.

Speak of the devil.

Oh! Look what the cat puked up.

What the hell are you doing here?

You know this guy?

Uh, yeah.

I've had the pleasure. Yeah, the
pleasure of fucking my wife. That's ex

Never was wife, as I understand it,
correct?

Yeah. I heard about Affiliate's research
grant, and I simply came down here to

offer my assistance.

You lying little piece of shit.

What the hell do you know about anthro
-fucking -pology, huh?

It's a fascinating subject.

Yeah. So are pygmy tribes in uncharted
regions of the Amazon.

Go get them, bub. Don't forget your
toothbrush.

All right, listen.

Now, I can only apologize so much,
James.

Perhaps I can make it up to you.

As I understand it, your bar is having
some financial difficulties.

I happen to need a place to stay while
I'm down here, and I suspect some rent

money could come in handy.

Oh, no.

You've done all the cumming you're going
to do. Now, get the fuck out of here.

James, stop being an asshole.

Hey, why break the habit?

You shut it, Royce.

How are we supposed to pay Brody's
wages?

Or the liquor bill? Or the bank?

The beach house is already mortgaged to
the max. I would rather sell my body.

Would you like me to show you to the
beach house?

Yes, I would love that. Thank you.

That is unacceptable!

Jennifer!

Come on, Larry.

Snap out of it.

Look, I know what you're going through.

Maybe she'll come back.

But maybe she won't.

The point is, you can't stop living.

Or screwing.

So how about I screw you into the middle
of next week?

Smells good. I

don't care.

Take it out on me.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Yeah, it kind of was.

Let's go again.

Again? You're trying to kill me?

You're still broken -hearted, aren't
you?

More than my heart's going to get broken
if we go again.

Yo, Gigolo, we're supposed to be
filming.

Does it have to be now? Whit and I were
just... There's a hot chick in the bar,

totally into being on camera. We've got
to move, like, right now.

I don't know about all that.

I'm supposed to be a serious filmmaker.

Dude. Hot.

Drunk. Chick.

What to not know?

Well.

Great. Good.

Yeah. Take off your dress.

Shutting up?

You want to ruin the mood.

Zach!

Could you wait for us in the main bar?

Yeah, you know, maybe go wait over
there.

Somewhere other than here.

You know, but bye.

Okay.

That's it.

And here's you.

And you.

And you.

And you.

He is watching us, you know that. I
know.

His name's Bond, he ain't.

Well, I mean, I guess it is only
natural.

Big brother being protective, right?

He says he has a good reason.

Oh, really? He said you tried to steal
Ophelia from him.

Well, that's actually true.

It did happen.

He said you deny it.

Well, you know, the old me might have
probably denied it, but this new me is

more honest.

It did happen. I'm not proud of it.

It's rare to find a guy that can
actually be, you know, on it.

All right. Thank you.

So, I never really understood what
Ophelia was here to study.

Oh, well, she and I are anthropologists.

And down here presents a potentially
fascinating area of study for us.

Why's that?

Well, her grant was to study how the
rules of attraction in the animal

relate to human mating rituals.

You mean...

People acting like monkeys?

Come on.

Is that really such a stretch?

I guess not.

Not on spring break, anyway.

No such thing as a higher primate when
it comes to spring break.

So, do you want to go skinny dipping?

Skinny dipping? Really?

Yeah, it's a nice night. I mean, come
on, what do you say?

I personally would love to, but would
that make your brother just a little

angry?

Sure.

But I guess that wouldn't have bothered
the old you much.

Do you want to hear a secret?

Huh?

It doesn't bother the new me much
either.

Really? Yeah, let's go.

Larry, Ice Princess was looking for you.

God, she won't let me breathe.

Wait, you're the one that scored with
Ice Princess?

Uh, well, don't be bashful.

Yeah, I did.

Wow.

I'm impressed.

Oh, it was nothing much, really.

True, it was nothing much. I've seen it.

Must have been my pulling the sword from
the stone.

Only like in reverse.

All the guys tired.

Only one succeeded.

The king.

Whatever happens, keep shooting.

I swore I wouldn't do this again on a
first date.

What, this is a date now?

You're right.

It's a technicality.

But when you're right,

you're right.

I'm right.

I got a baby.

reason for a ride reach inside I

hope this song will end

this story I'm taking

Have you ever killed anybody?

Hell no, bro. What kind of question is
that?

You need a drink, bro.

Let me guess.

Roy? How'd you guess?

What you done now, bro?

Done? My wife, my sister.

Ouch. It sucks, bro.

Mm -hmm.

I'm Larry's wingman.

How did this happen?

It's a small town.

Rep travels fast.

But since preschool, he's been my
wingman.

The universe is out of whack.

Yeah, tell me about it.

So what's wrong with you? Seems like you
had a worse night than I did.

Really? No.

That was draining.

I think I need to lie down.

Later. First we need to look at your
footage.

Alright,

let's see what we got.

Hi, my name is Tina. I have two Yorkies.

One's like this big, and then the other
one's like this big.

They're super rad.

I'm glad you got all this. Nothing an
audience likes more than a really,

long buildup.

Oops.

It gets better.

How could it possibly get better than
this?

Wow.

Sexy shoulder blade?

Oops.

From now on, every time you say oops,
I'm going to kill you.

Great. Well, we've definitely cornered
the G -rated adult market, which is, you

know, huge when it comes to these kind
of tapes.

DVD.

Hey, guys.

You might want to check out Channel 149,
the travel and entertainment channel.

You're famous.

Oh, my God.

She used me.

I feel so used.

Time for act first.

Come on, dance for me.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Don't do it, buddy. It's a trick.

You exploited me. You put me on TV with
your jaded pictures of naked parades.

Huh? It's exploitation.

It's entertainment.

You profited from my horniness.

You got what you wanted. I got what I
wanted. It's America, baby.

She's going to put you on TV.

Sweet.

You saw that?

I can explain.

It's really funny. You're going to
laugh.

Jen? You back?

Jenny?

Jenny, are you okay?

Jenny!

I heard bang.

Hmm. Uh, yeah, you did.

James!

You... You got

the

hut for Brody? Oh.

I believe in mating for life!

There's a...

bucket load of points waiting to be
scored over at Johnson's. You never

resist the lure of meaningless sex,
could you? Oh, no.

She's never ever, never ever better than
me.

She's never ever, never ever better than
me.

She's never ever, never better than me.

Not bad at all.