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1
00:00:04,253 --> 00:00:05,797
Here's some more coffee,
sweetheart.
2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,174
Oh, thanks.
3
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,592
Uh, Sam.
Uh-huh?
4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,512
Will you give me your opinion
of this Mother's Day card?
5
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,765
The rose looks wilted.
6
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,433
Now read the poem.
7
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:23,607
"In all the world, there is naught
Dearer to us than the thought
8
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,109
"That other loves
may quickly perish
9
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,987
"But Mother's love,
we always cherish"
10
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,281
Oh.
11
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:34,952
In my opinion, the poem
goes great with the rose.
12
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,912
That's not the opinion
of Augustus Sunshine.
13
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,373
Who's Augustus Sunshine?
14
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:43,752
Owner and head writer of the
Happy Heart Greeting Card Company.
15
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,962
Their sales
have been slipping,
16
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,631
and Mr. Sunshine
can't understand why.
17
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,634
Why don't you show him
in red and white?
18
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:53,554
Why don't I forget about
business, and let's go to a movie?
19
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,139
Oh. Okay.
I'll get Esmeralda.
20
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:58,725
Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda! Yoo-hoo!
21
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,312
Good evening, Samantha.
22
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,106
Good evening, Mr. Stephens.
23
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:07,985
Good evening, Esmeralda. How are
all the guys and gals in the cosmos?
24
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:12,447
I wouldn't know. I only care
about one guy, Ramon Verona.
25
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,241
Tonight I have
a date with him.
26
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,659
Oh, dear.
27
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,911
We were hoping
you could baby-sit.
28
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,747
Well, any other time, but
I couldn't cancel him now.
29
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,166
Not after all that pleading.
30
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,334
He was pleading with you?
31
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,005
No. I was pleading
with him.
32
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:32,801
That's our little game. Ramon plays
hard to get, and I play a cinch.
33
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,177
Goodbye.
34
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,514
Have a good game.
35
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,225
Well, by process
of elimination...
36
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,727
Mother!
37
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,229
Mother?
38
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,070
Greetings, all.
39
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:55,282
I just came from the
international dune buggy races.
40
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:59,286
Just once, couldn't your mother
come into a room in a normal way?
41
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:00,370
How did you do?
42
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,788
I won.
43
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,248
Oh!
44
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,750
But I was disqualified
45
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,544
because my wheels
were off the ground.
46
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,546
Well, your wheels are
on my rug,
47
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,465
and I'll thank you
to get them off.
48
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:16,303
He sounds huffy to me.
Does he sound huffy to you?
49
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,222
Uh, Mother, we were wondering
if you'd mind baby-sitting
50
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,766
while we go to a movie.
51
00:02:20,806 --> 00:02:25,520
I would have loved to, except
that Durwood's being huffy to me.
52
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,147
I'm not being huffy.
53
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,565
Yes, you are.
54
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,817
And one more word,
and I'm leaving.
55
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:31,901
Okay.
56
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,111
That's the word.
57
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,782
Sam, don't you
have anything to say?
58
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,874
"In all the world,
there is naught
59
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,918
"Dearer to us
than the thought
60
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,504
"That other loves
may quickly perish
61
00:02:50,544 --> 00:02:53,757
"But Mother's love,
we always cherish"
62
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,553
Oh.
63
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,889
I didn't wanna go
to the movies anyway.
64
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,643
Sweetheart?
65
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:09,064
There is a way to make
Mother more friendly.
66
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,441
Okay, let's hear it.
67
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,568
Well, there's this
magic amulet...
68
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,780
Forget it. I've got
enough magic in my life.
69
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,157
Oh, really?
70
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,702
Oh, present company excepted.
71
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,333
I didn't wanna go
to the movies anyway.
72
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,683
Bewitched.
73
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,560
[Sam] Sweetheart! It's 8:00.
74
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,231
Okay. Okay.
75
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,085
Good morning,
Durwood.
76
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,194
Samantha!
77
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,325
What's the matter?
78
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,785
What happened?
79
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,538
Your mother happened.
That's what happened.
80
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,580
Oh.
81
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,582
Well, I'll have
a talk with her.
82
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,210
Never mind the talking.
Just get the amulet.
83
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,587
Daddy has it.
84
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:38,964
Hurry back.
85
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,010
[Sam] This is it.
86
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,762
Daddy used it
throughout the centuries
87
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,264
whenever Mother
got out of line.
88
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,683
I'm surprised it isn't
worn out by now.
89
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,892
But now, since they
go their separate ways,
90
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,062
I convinced him that,
for the moment,
91
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,814
you need it
more than he does.
92
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,482
Let's try it out.
Now, wait a minute.
93
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,777
There are two rules. One,
keep it with you at all times.
94
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,320
And two,
don't abuse it.
95
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,615
Because using witchcraft on
a powerful witch, like Mother,
96
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,200
is living dangerously.
97
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,452
Well, sweetheart, with your
mother as my mother-in-law,
98
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,664
I live dangerously
every day.
99
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,041
Put it in your pocket,
and I'll call her.
100
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,752
Mother!
101
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,796
Mother?
102
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,464
Good morning,
Samantha.
103
00:06:21,505 --> 00:06:22,716
Good morning,
Mother.
104
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,885
Good morning,
Darrin.
105
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,846
Good morning who?
106
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,933
Darrin, dear boy.
107
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,935
Would you accept
my humble apologies
108
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:37,397
for my slight transgressions
of this morning and last night?
109
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:40,233
I behaved frightfully.
110
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,528
Your behavior last night
was, uh, frightful.
111
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,447
This morning,
it was hideous.
112
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,823
Darrin.
113
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,075
The dear boy is quite right.
114
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:53,455
It's no way for a mother-in-law
to treat her son-in-law.
115
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,999
Would you accept my apology?
116
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:56,958
Well...
117
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,877
Would you think about it?
118
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,755
Yeah, I'll think
about it.
119
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,048
Thank you.
120
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,217
Excuse me, Mother,
but Darrin's late for work.
121
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:10,555
I'll see you later, Endora.
122
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:14,684
Oh, and I'd appreciate it if
you'd wear something less weird.
123
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:18,480
Anything you say, dear boy.
124
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,483
Oh, brother.
125
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,489
It worked.
126
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,950
Yes, I know.
It worked like a charm.
127
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,370
But let's not forget she's being
nice to you against her will.
128
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:37,123
Who cares? I'll take her being
nice to me any way I can get it.
129
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,000
Let's not make
her suspicious.
130
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:43,088
If she finds out that I've given you
Daddy's amulet, we're both in for it.
131
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,340
Bye.
Bye-bye.
132
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,098
Mother, you all right?
133
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,182
No.
134
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:57,060
My disgustingly sweet
behavior toward Durwood
135
00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:00,313
indicates I'm quite ill.
136
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,149
Oh, Mother, you're just
being kind and considerate.
137
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:07,070
Oh, there's no question
about it. I'm sick.
138
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,030
I'd better make an
appointment with Dr. Bombay
139
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,949
for a thorough checkup.
140
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,951
There's no time to lose.
141
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:21,626
Mr. Stephens, look who came to
town to pay us a surprise visit.
142
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,253
Mr. Augustus Sunshine.
143
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,255
Mr. Sunshine,
it's a pleasure to meet you.
144
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,924
"In the recipe of life,
the ideal blendship
145
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,343
"To ward off strife
is known as friendship"
146
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:33,929
Happy Heart greeting
card number 3417-Y.
147
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,974
Words to live by.
148
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,642
Right, Mr. Stephens?
149
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,102
Right, Mr. Tate.
150
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,396
I wonder why that card
hasn't been selling.
151
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:44,732
I blame it on inflation
and tight money.
152
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,485
Mr. Stephens,
be frank with me.
153
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:51,280
Do you think the poems on my
greeting cards may be outdated?
154
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,158
Well, Mr. Sunshine,
now that you mention it...
155
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,951
Mr. Stephens,
you haven't forgotten
156
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,287
that Mr. Sunshine
writes those poems?
157
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:02,500
Well, no, but I'm sure Mr. Sunshine
wants an honest appraisal.
158
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,378
Would you like an honest
appraisal, Mr. Sunshine?
159
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,629
Certainly.
160
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,840
Go ahead,
Mr. Stephens.
161
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,550
Well, your poems,
Mr. Sunshine,
162
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,886
were very effective
in their time,
163
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:18,016
but in today's uptight world, people like
to exchange cards that have more humor.
164
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,143
You're saying that
my poems are outdated.
165
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,352
Well, perhaps
they are outdated.
166
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,148
Then, on the other hand,
167
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,442
perhaps the advertising concepts
being used are outdated,
168
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,861
and I need a new
advertising agency.
169
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,530
Goodbye, Stephens.
Nice to have met you.
170
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,750
Hi, honey.
Oh, hi.
171
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:44,958
How was your day?
Fine.
172
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,252
How was yours?
173
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,378
Not so fine.
174
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,006
It looks like we've lost
that greeting card account.
175
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,716
But who cares?
176
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:56,929
My life is a lot simpler since
I've got my safety badge from evil.
177
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,932
Hey, uh, why don't you
call your mother?
178
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,059
I haven't seen her
all day, and I miss her.
179
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:04,687
Darrin, this is not
for fun and games.
180
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:08,607
It is to be used in self-defense
and with great discretion.
181
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,944
Okay, okay.
Whatever you say.
182
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,154
I'll, uh, go look in
on the kids.
183
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,875
You, uh, want anything
from the kitchen?
184
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,043
No, thanks,
sweetheart.
185
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,045
You hungry?
Yeah.
186
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,880
And now that I'm on such
good terms with your mother,
187
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,591
my appetite for life
has increased.
188
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:39,222
Eat, drink and be merry,
for tomorrow...
189
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,448
[Endora] Samantha?
May I speak to you?
190
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,284
Oh, come in, Mother.
191
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,788
Samantha, I just saw
Dr. Bombay,
192
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,457
and he gave me
a clean bill of health.
193
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,001
That's wonderful.
194
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,460
That's terrible.
195
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,921
If there's nothing
physically wrong with me,
196
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:16,092
why have I been
so nice to Durwood?
197
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:19,679
Well, Mother, maybe,
after all these years,
198
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:24,434
his charm and natural sweetness
has finally reached you.
199
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:28,021
You're not keeping any
secrets from me, are you?
200
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,356
Who, me?
201
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:35,612
You would never be a party
to casting a spell on me,
202
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,530
would you?
203
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,990
Who, me?
204
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,075
Of course not.
205
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,828
If there's anyone
I can trust,
206
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,288
it's you.
207
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,166
Who, me?
208
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:54,756
Hi.
209
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:56,925
Uh...
210
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,551
Hi, Moms.
211
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,511
I'm here to enjoy
our newfound friendship.
212
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,433
Well, care to
make me a sandwich?
213
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,812
Endora, I asked you
to make me a sandwich.
214
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,648
Make it yourself, Durwood.
215
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,485
Durwood?
216
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:19,239
Make it yourself
and then choke on it.
217
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,491
Endora, would you excuse
me a second? I have to...
218
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:24,869
Kiddo, you're not
going anywhere.
219
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,578
[Darrin] Samantha!
220
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,541
Sounds like trouble.
221
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,385
That is trouble.
222
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,554
What happened to me
shouldn't happen to a dog.
223
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:48,726
So, if you want your
sandwich, beg for it.
224
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:53,940
Sit.
225
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,317
Beg.
226
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,403
Play dead.
227
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,493
I think I'll leave
him that way.
228
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:09,455
Mother,
what are you doing?
229
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,041
Feeding my pet.
230
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:16,629
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
231
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:31,644
Oh, Darrin, forgive me. I
forgot all about your sandwich.
232
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,146
Never mind, Endora.
233
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,189
I, uh, seem to have
lost my appetite.
234
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,567
And besides,
he's dog tired.
235
00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:40,111
Oh, the poor dear.
236
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,405
Uh, don't call us.
We'll call you.
237
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,782
Anything you say, Darrin.
238
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,159
Ta-ta.
239
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,912
If Mother ever finds out
about that amulet,
240
00:13:49,953 --> 00:13:52,582
you are going
to learn that...
241
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,254
Which means?
242
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,840
Hell hath no fury
like a bugged witch.
243
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:11,934
Hello.
Darrin,
244
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,771
I've invited Augustus
Sunshine over to the club.
245
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,939
We're having lunch, and I've
been trying to persuade him
246
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,482
not to change agencies.
247
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,526
How are you doing?
Not so good.
248
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,111
We just finished
a round of golf,
249
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,654
and I even managed
to lose to him,
250
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,907
but I had to
shoot a 97 to do it.
251
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,283
Well, that's not so bad.
252
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,993
For nine holes?
253
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,661
Anyway, it didn't work,
254
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,581
so I thought that I'd bring him
over to your place for dessert.
255
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,541
Why?
Why do you think?
256
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,878
So you can help me hang on to the
account you managed to jeopardize.
257
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,671
We'll be there in an hour.
258
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,758
Tell Samantha not to go to any
trouble, just serve something elegant.
259
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,428
Who was that?
260
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,638
Larry.
261
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,723
And in an hour, he's bringing
Augustus Sunshine here,
262
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,476
and we're supposed to
serve him an elegant dessert.
263
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,852
What for?
264
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,938
Oh, he thinks we can hang on to
the account with some socializing.
265
00:14:56,979 --> 00:15:00,400
Oh. Well, I suppose
that's the least we can do.
266
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:03,736
Elegant dessert, huh?
Oh. The Gourmet Pastry Shop,
267
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,530
but you'll have to drive me.
It's always so crowded,
268
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,906
I can never find
a parking space.
269
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,074
Okay.
270
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:11,953
Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?
Yoo-hoo!
271
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,830
Yes, Samantha?
272
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,958
Do you think you could baby-sit
for a while this afternoon?
273
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,293
The way things are going
in my romance department,
274
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,796
I'll be able to baby-sit
for the rest of my life.
275
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:22,839
Oh.
276
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,715
You ought to get yourself
something like this.
277
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,925
What is it?
278
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,468
Darrin, put that away.
279
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,720
Yeah, sorry.
Just kidding.
280
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,806
Kidding about what?
281
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,391
Nothing.
Forget it.
282
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,476
Tabitha's playing on the patio,
and Adam's having his nap.
283
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,562
We'll be back in half
an hour. Come on.
284
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,813
Mmm.
285
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,080
Could it be a love charm?
Obviously.
286
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,707
How else could
a mortal like him
287
00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,460
make a witch like Samantha
fall in love with him?
288
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,590
Tough luck, Ramon!
You're mine!
289
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,013
Hello.
Goodbye.
290
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:29,071
Oh! Hi, Mother. You came at
a bad time. We're expecting...
291
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,491
Oh, don't you
"Hi, Mother" me!
292
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,868
You ungrateful child.
293
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:38,706
And as for you, beady eyes,
you are beneath contempt.
294
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,626
What's wrong,
Durwood?
295
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,961
Don't you have
the magic amulet?
296
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:46,130
She knows.
297
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,841
You bet your sweet
broomstick I know.
298
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:51,385
I began thinking
about ancient history,
299
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:55,431
and I remembered the amulet
your father once had.
300
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:56,766
What happened to it?
301
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:57,892
Esmeralda.
302
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,478
That's why she was so anxious
to get out of here.
303
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,648
So I went to Maurice,
who could never lie to me,
304
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:07,234
and I extracted
a full confession.
305
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,903
Mother, I...
306
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,154
I...
307
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,573
Ay, ay, ay.
308
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,743
Samantha, I'm hurt.
309
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:16,869
Oh.
310
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,788
And I'm angry.
311
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,122
Uh-oh.
312
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,709
And I'm so furious, I'm going
to punish the both of you.
313
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,386
"You set aside
your true emotions
314
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,513
"Your loving,
marital devotions
315
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,934
"The air around you
now grows thicker
316
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:43,688
"As under my spell
you constantly bicker"
317
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:49,484
What do you think
she's gonna do?
318
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,320
How should I know,
stupid?
319
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,990
Well, you should know, blondie.
You're a certified witch.
320
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,910
When I married you, I should
have been certified insane.
321
00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,619
Me, too.
Me, too.
322
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,999
My, aren't you a
bottomless pit of originality!
323
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,378
I don't understand it.
Why am I so hostile?
324
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,504
You got me.
325
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,839
That's the reason!
326
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,175
Oh, no, it isn't.
It's all your mother's fault.
327
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,553
Let's not drag my mother
through this.
328
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,513
Oh, I'd like to drag her
through something.
329
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,851
Sam, get the door.
I'm busy.
330
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,269
Busy doing what?
331
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,395
Reading.
332
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:27,481
Oh, really?
Didn't know you knew how.
333
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:32,862
Oh, hello, Larry.
334
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,156
Samantha, this is
Mr. Augustus Sunshine.
335
00:18:35,196 --> 00:18:36,866
Oh. Well,
it's nice to meet you.
336
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,326
How do you do?
How do you do?
337
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,078
Follow me, gentlemen. Knucklehead
is in the living room.
338
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,204
Knucklehead?
339
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,665
I guess it's
a term of endearment.
340
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:48,085
Well, Mr. Sunshine, I look
forward to chatting with you,
341
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,755
providing my wife can
keep her big mouth shut,
342
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,214
and we can get
a word in edgewise.
343
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,590
The less you say,
buster,
344
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,760
the better your chances
of appearing intelligent.
345
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,803
Hey, kids,
what's going on here?
346
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,013
Nothing.
347
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,057
Uh, Mr. Sunshine, would
you like a French pastry?
348
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,726
Ah, they look delicious.
Did you bake them yourself?
349
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:07,480
Are you kidding? If she'd baked
them, the cart would collapse.
350
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,398
How'd you like a split lip?
351
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:12,276
How'd you like
a bust in the bazoo?
352
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,780
Sam, why do you let him
talk to you like that?
353
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,407
Well, I figure he's my husband,
he's got a perfect right.
354
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:21,285
He's got
a pretty good left, too.
355
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,080
Darrin, to change the
subject to greeting cards,
356
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,625
as I told Mr. Sunshine,
I have every confidence
357
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,877
if we put
our shoulders to the wheel...
358
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,754
If you get
the contract, dumbo,
359
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,340
I'll show you
where to mark your "X."
360
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:38,302
For two cents, I'd walk out
that door and never come back.
361
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,846
Wait here.
I'll get my piggy bank.
362
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,601
Uh, Tate,
I may be oversensitive,
363
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:48,311
but I feel we walked in
on a little domestic quarrel.
364
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:52,441
Well, Mr. Sunshine, I suppose
these things can happen,
365
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,151
but not in front of a client.
366
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,112
[Sunshine] We'd better go.
367
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,198
And as we do,
I also leave this thought.
368
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,409
"A lovers' spat
is all we had
369
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,619
"To mix the good
with a touch of bad
370
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,621
"Now let us once
again draw near
371
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:08,499
"Whilst saying both,
I love you, dear"
372
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,585
Happy Heart greeting
card number 1803-K.
373
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,546
How about this one?
374
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:16,632
"Married life
is never humdrum
375
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:19,468
"When you're stuck
with such a dum-dum"
376
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,304
Samantha Stephens,
number 86.
377
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,597
Good day.
378
00:20:23,638 --> 00:20:25,641
Uh, wait a minute,
Mr. Sunshine.
379
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,060
I'm sure this is
just a momentary thing.
380
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:35,317
Having fun, kiddies?
381
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:39,238
Samantha, I thought this was a
love charm, but it doesn't work.
382
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,240
Ramon Verona was
as cold as ever.
383
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,032
Well, of course he was.
384
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,662
That amulet has power
over only one person.
385
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:50,499
Esmeralda,
you look lovely.
386
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,959
Oh.
387
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,212
Ravishing might be the
more accurate description.
388
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,672
Thank you.
Mother.
389
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,175
Huh?
Remove the spell.
390
00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:02,845
Oh. Anything you say.
391
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:09,518
"As a witch of great ability
I remove this pair's hostility
392
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:16,025
"Heed the message from above You're
not sick, you're just in love"
393
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:24,241
Oh, sweetheart,
I'm sorry.
394
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:25,826
Why should you be sorry?
395
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,244
Blame your meddling mother.
396
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,207
Ta-ta, Mama.
397
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:32,750
Ta, darling.
398
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:40,340
Oh, dear.
399
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,723
What am I gonna tell
Larry and Mr. Sunshine?
400
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:51,101
I don't know, but I'd
better get them back here.
401
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,646
"Augustus Sunshine
and Larry Tate
402
00:21:53,686 --> 00:21:55,940
"This is Darrin Stephens' mate
403
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,566
"To save us all
a lot of trouble
404
00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:59,777
"Come back, fellas,
on the double"
405
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:05,782
Tate, I feel a sudden compulsion
to go back to the Stephens house.
406
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,285
That's funny.
So do I.
407
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:21,340
In other words, the whole thing was
a fake, staged for your benefit.
408
00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:23,259
I don't understand.
409
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,387
Well, Darrin was trying to
show you that in today's society
410
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:31,016
people don't always communicate
with... Well, with sunshine.
411
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:35,771
Right. Sometimes people like to
bicker. Good-naturedly, of course.
412
00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:38,898
You call the way you two went
at each other good-natured?
413
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,111
Oh, absolutely. Didn't
you see the humor in it?
414
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,696
Oh, yes. I guess
it was pretty funny.
415
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,825
Uh, wasn't it, Tate?
416
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,077
Sure.
417
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,204
Stephens, were you
trying to tell me
418
00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:55,457
that my greeting cards
are too namby-pamby?
419
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:58,669
We just thought it was a
unique way of suggesting
420
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:01,964
that you branch out
into funny insult cards.
421
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:05,175
You know, like, "Happy
birthday, knucklehead."
422
00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,388
Happy birthday,
knucklehead?
423
00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:14,143
Well, uh, that's
just an example.
424
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:18,397
I mean, I'm not a professional
poet like you, Mr. Sunshine.
425
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:23,611
Oh, funny insult cards.
That's food for thought.
426
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:27,323
And speaking of food, may I
have one of those pastries?
427
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:28,907
Have two.
428
00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:35,539
Well, he did it again.
429
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:37,625
Right, Larry?
430
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,126
Yeah.
431
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:42,212
He did it again.
432
00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:54,183
Hi, sweetheart.
Oh, hi.
433
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,977
Hey, I've got a present
for you from Daddy.
434
00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:58,186
Huh.
435
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,525
Well, that's very nice.
When was he here?
436
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:04,902
Today.
437
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,404
Mother was so angry at him
for giving us the amulet
438
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,907
that she decided to move back in with
him for a while just to get even.
439
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,701
Well, I hope you gave
the amulet back to him.
440
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:15,871
Oh, I did and he replaced it with
a necktie that doesn't do anything.
441
00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:17,539
I'll write him
a thank-you note.
442
00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:19,875
Don't bother.
He has no address.
443
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:23,963
I have a present for you
from Augustus Sunshine.
444
00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:26,715
It's his first insult poem.
445
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,801
"Season's greetings
to my bride
446
00:24:28,842 --> 00:24:31,428
"Who fills my heart
with wondrous pride
447
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:36,266
"She has a figure and a face
That best belong in outer space"
448
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,060
How do you like it?
449
00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:40,729
Well, I don't think it's bad
for a first effort,
450
00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:45,401
but, uh, I wish people wouldn't knock
outer space if they haven't been there.
451
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:49,238
Oh.
32907
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