All language subtitles for Bewitched.S06E27.If.the.Shoe.Pinches.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Barbour Peaches.
Barbour Peaches.

"Whole, sliced or halves,

"everything's peachy when
you buy Barbour Peaches."

No.

Uh, "If you're picky, pick your
peaches out of a Barbour can."

Blech. Hmm.

Can you stop
for a minute?

Yeah. Believe me, I
need a break. What is it?

It's Tabitha in
the new playhouse.

You have to see this.
Come on.

Here's your cup of sugar,
Mrs. Kravitz.

I'd ask you to come in,
but I have company.

Bye, Mrs. Kravitz.

Isn't that cute?

What does she mean,
"company"?

Well, you know,
imaginary playmates.

All children make up
someone to play with.

Yeah, but...

Hi, sweetheart.
Where are you going?

To get some drinks
for my company.

Mr. Jones wants a martini, and
Mrs. Jones wants a ginger ale.

Mrs. Jones
is a teetotaler.

She is? Then I'd
better get her some tea.

Hurry up.

Oh.

You don't seem to be amused.

Sam, what if there really is a
tiny Mr. and Mrs. Jones in there?

Oh, Darrin,
don't be silly.

She's just behaving
like any normal six-year-old.

I just want to make sure
she isn't behaving

like any normal
six-year-old witch.

Sorry.
Mmm-hmm.

Well, well, well.

Can I have a taste
of that martini?

You want Mr. Jones to drink
out of the same glass as you?

Oops. Lost my head.

I wish you and
Daddy would find

something to do
while I'm entertaining.

Daddy does have
something to do.

I promised Larry I'd, uh, have
a slogan for Barbour's Peaches

by early this afternoon.

I'd better
get back on it.

And I'd better see
if Adam's awake.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed
your lunch, Mr. and Mrs. Jones,

and I'm sorry
I burned the meat.

Oh, you'd like some more,
Mr. Jones? There you are.

It's a pleasure to serve a
man with a hearty appetite.

How do you do?
How do you do?

Not meaning to
trouble you, lass,

but I couldn't
help overhearing,

and I was wondering if
you could spare a morsel

for a poor,
hungry creature?

We don't have any morsels,
but we have some roast beef.

It's a little burned.

Burnt, is it, eh?

Just the way me
mother used to make it.

A pleasure it is
to make your acquaintance.

Tim O'Shanter's
the name.

How do you do?

This is
Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

Ooh! Well, how do
you do, Mr. Jones?

No, that's
Mrs. Jones.

So it is.
Excuse me.

And what might
your name be?

Tabitha.

Would you be off to
getting me a bit of food?

It's fairly starving,
I am.

Help yourself.

There's nothing there.

Yes, there is.

No, there's not.

You eat what's in front of you,
or else you don't eat at all.

You've got a delightful
sense of humor, me darling.

And now that we've
had our little laugh,

would you be after
getting me some real food,

you little sweetheart?

I'll see
what I can find.

A darling girl.
A darling girl.

Weird, but,
uh, darling.

Will you stop stalling
and start doing your thing?

What do you think
I brought you here for?

Oh, that I will,
O gracious queen.

I'm not your queen.

And get up
off your knees.

You see, it's just that I'm in
need of a bit of sustenance,

and it's terrible hard
to work on an empty stomach.

You'll find it even harder if
I turn you into a toadstool.

Now get going!

Bewitched.

Hi, Sam. Oh. Hi,
Larry. How's Louise?

Fine. She's spending
the weekend on the phone.

How's, uh, everything here?

Great. We're enjoying an unusual
stretch of peace and quiet.

We got a playhouse
for Tabitha,

and we haven't heard
a word out of her.

Really? Maybe I ought to
get one of those for Louise.

Hi, Larry.
Thought I heard you.

I'm not ready
for you yet.

I just dropped by
for an interim check.

How's it going?

You want the truth, or, uh, you
want me to make you feel good?

You can't do both?

Tabitha, where are
you going with that?

Out to the playhouse.

But you had a big lunch
just an hour ago.

It's not for me.
It's for the leprechaun.

Excuse me.

Don't let it throw you. She's been
entertaining imaginary friends all morning.

If you're smart, you'll get that
leprechaun to help you with the slogan.

That's funny.

[Sam chattering] Well,
I don't want to hold you up.

I think I'll go out and
hit a bucket of balls.

I'll check back later.

But, Tabitha,
how do you know

a leprechaun would like a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich?

Because he told me.

Ask a foolish question.

Honey, that sandwich
is really for you, isn't it?

No, Daddy,
it's for the leprechaun.

Well, for, uh, make-believe people,
pretend food is good enough.

Okay, Daddy, but the
leprechaun won't be happy.

Well, when you entertained
Mr. and Mrs. Jones,

you served them
imaginary roast beef.

Now why does the leprechaun
need real food?

Because he's real
and they weren't.

Now, that's ridiculous.

Oh, my stars!

Sam,
what's going on?

You look like Pinocchio,
Daddy.

Take my advice,
Tabitha. Cool it.

I fail to see anything
funny about this.

You should look
in the mirror.

Tabitha, that's enough.

Now you fix your
father's nose immediately.

I can't.
I didn't do it.

I suppose
the leprechaun did it.

Darrin, maybe she
is telling the truth.

Maybe there is a
leprechaun out there.

Now don't be ridiculous.

Oh!

Sam, don't just stand
there. Find that leprechaun!

You come out of there!
Come out! Come on!

Now stop!
Cease and desist!

What is all
this hullabaloo?

I did you no harm.

You may not think so, but my
husband feels quite differently.

Now you put his nose
and ears back to normal!

Well, come on!

Okay,
go ahead.

What nose?
What ears?

That nose
and those ears.

Now you change them back
at once, or you'll regret it.

I don't think you know
who or what I am.

More to the point, I don't think
you know who or what I am.

I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.

They're gone, Daddy!

Tabitha, I don't
know what to say.

And as soon as we get rid of this
thing, I'll apologize properly.

I don't know who you are or why
you're here, and I'd rather not know.

Now, Darrin, wait a minute.
I'd like some answers.

What are you doing here?

Oh, sure,
and it's a long story,

and a sad story, and a story
that'll set your tears to flowing.

Somebody took me
magic shillelagh,

and I've got no
power to travel home.

Unless I find a witch
to restore me power,

there's no way for me
to get back to me home.

Oh, sure and
give me me power back!

Okay, it's restored.

Now you better
start traveling.

Oh! Yours are darling people.
Darling people.

And I thank you for the kindness
and hospitality of your home.

Toodle-ooh!

Well, that, I hope,
is that.

Sam, you don't suppose
that leprechaun

could've helped me
with a slogan for...

Yeah. I'd better
get back to work.

I think
I'm cracking up.

It's just my luck to pick
a goof-up leprechaun.

Well, what would you
have me do?

Herself just threw
me out of the house.

Aw, but the dear, sweet witch, she
did restore me powers to travel.

Well, the big, bad witch
has un-restored them,

and they'll stay un-restored until you
finish the job you've been assigned.

If you're such a big,
bad witch,

why don't you do
the job yourself?

I never interfere in my
daughter's marital life.

You're as full of
shenanigans as I am.

Never mind the noise.
Go on with your job.

But the fair blonde one,
she'll pulverize me.

Not...

Not if we're
clever about it.

Then I take it you have
something in mind?

Yes.

[Darrin] Sam?

In here, sweetheart.

Did you come up with a
slogan for the peaches?

No, but look what I found outside
the den door with this note.

"My host you were
for a time today.

"I leave these shoes
my debt to pay."

From the leprechaun.

Yeah.
How about that?

Well, why would he
leave you a gift

when we practically
threw him out of here?

Well, maybe it's his way of
apologizing for bugging us.

Look at these.
Custom-made, leather-lined.

Darrin, uh, maybe you
shouldn't keep them.

Why? According to
legend, it's bad luck

not to accept a gift
from a leprechaun.

Well, that's ridiculous.

Well, maybe.
But why take chances?

Fit like a glove.

You'd better get to work.
Larry will be back soon.

Who cares?

But you said
you hadn't finished.

So what? I slaved
enough this weekend.

I'm pooped.
I think I'll take a nap.

It's those shoes! That sneaky
leprechaun put a hex on them.

Now, why blame
the leprechaun,

just 'cause I
finally got some sense

and refuse to
knock myself out?

Darrin, I want you to
take off those shoes!

That's Larry.
I'll get it.

Well, wait a minute. Maybe it'd
be better if I talked to him.

What for?

Well, because I don't think
you're in the right frame of mind.

The only thing wrong
with my frame of mind

is that I didn't
get it years ago.

Hi, Larry.
Good to see you.

Well, that hearty greeting
can mean only one thing.

You got the slogan, right?

Wrong.

You're not finished?

No. And I'll tell
you something else.

I'm not going to
finish tonight.

You mean you're going
to get up early and work?

Larry, you're looking
at a new man.

From now on, the only time I'm gonna
be up early is if I don't go to bed.

Is he drunk?

No. No, it's just fatigue.

You know we have to
present that slogan

at the meeting
tomorrow morning.

Larry, maybe you should
come back a little later.

You know what
your trouble is?

Right now, it's you.

You're so busy driving,
you can't see the road.

Work is a sickness
with you.

Yes.

But it's obviously
not contagious.

Larry, it's just
the strain of overwork.

I'm sure he'll come
up with something

if he can just
get a little rest.

Let's hope so

because if he doesn't, he's
gonna have a nice, long rest.

And the same
to you, fella.

Sam.

Sam, I think
I'll take a little snooze.

Darrin!

Sam, I thought I told you
I was going to take a nap.

And I'm telling you
to take off those shoes!

You're right. That would
certainly be more comfortable.

I can't get them off.

I was afraid of that.

You little imp!

Oh, madam! Madam!
Madam, you're tempting fate.

Don't you know it is the worst
of luck to harm a leprechaun?

That only applies
to good leprechauns.

Where'd she go?
Where'd she go?

You got me.

But I certainly want to thank you
for these shoes. They're terrific.

Hey, you'll not
get off that easy.

I've got eyes on the back
of me head, I have!

You get those shoes off him,
or I'll pulverize you!

Let me go.
Let me go,

or those shoes will be on his
feet for the rest of his days!

Let me go!

Okay.

Now, why did you
do that?

You asked me
to let you go.

Just what we need.
A funny witch.

Sam, it doesn't matter
about the shoes.

They're as comfortable
as they can be.

If I have to,
I can sleep in them.

Oh, well, thanks a lot,
but I prefer you bare-feet.

Now, why did you come back,
and what is it you're after?

What is it I'm after?

I'll tell you
what I'm after.

I'm after wanting a drink
to warm me bones.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

That's what I'm after.

Hey, he's pretty cute.

Just what we need.
A funny leprechaun.

Well, what'll you have?

Anything. Anything at all,
as long as it's fermented.

Whiskey would be nice.

And if it's Irish, you'll
get no complaint from me.

Well, Irish it is, and Irish it'll
always be. Come along, me boyo.

[Tabitha] Mommy!

In here, sweetheart.

Ah! Here we are. "A potion to
gain control over leprechauns."

But, Mommy, I thought
we had a rule, no witchcraft.

Yeah, well, that's right, sweetheart,
and we only use witchcraft

in extreme emergencies.

What's an emergency?

Well, that's when you have
to do something right away

to save someone from harm.

Now, wait a minute.
Where was I? Uh, oh, yeah.

"Potion to gain control
over a leprechaun."

To one cup of Wolfsbane, add two
tablespoons of maiden fern, chopped finely,

add the beaten yolks of two
eggs of a red-eyed Kahlua bird.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Now, zap up one chicken with vegetables
and boil in water until tender.

That's chicken soup.

"This is chicken soup,

"a favorite of leprechauns. Put
potion in soup. Serves four."

Excuse me, honey. I have
to start cooking on all burners.

Soup's on!

Now,
will you sit here?

Oh, bless you. Oh!

Mmm.

That's the best-smelling
chicken soup I ever smelled.

Well, I hope you like it.

Whist, now! Is that
a baby's cry I hear?

I don't hear anything.

Neither do I.

My imagination.

Sam, let's eat.
I'm starving.

Fine.

Oh, dear.

I'll get it.

It's amazing. That wind
came up from nowhere.

Well, let's get started,
shall we?

I'm anxious to
get your opinion.

Okay, dinner's over.

What?

You take those
shoes off right now!

Hold on, now!

I am going to
count to three.

One! Two!

Okay, okay.

They're off.

Sam,
I'm a little confused.

What's going on?

Hold it.

Has Larry been here yet?
Twice.

And you better get back
to that drawing board

and get cracking
before he shows up again.

Not until I find out
what's going on here.

Okay, out with it.

I want to know
who sent you here.

I swear, I don't know
the lady's name.

You are going to make
a beautiful toad.

Is that all you and your mother
ever think of, toads and toadstools?

Oops!
Aha!

Sam, that tears it.

It means your mother has
run out of ideas to torment me,

and now she's
getting outside help.

All right, me bucko. I think it's
time you returned to the old sod.

Here's your hat.
What's your hurry?

Begone!

All right, you useless little
blabbermouth! You're free to go now.

Oh, thank you,
gracious queen.

And now, if you'll just be good enough to
return me magic shillelagh, I'll be off.

Gladly.

Ooh!

Good-bye and good riddance,
you old hag!

Oh, Darrin. I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you.

No, it's not your fault.

Then Mother will
make it up to you.

It's not your
mother's fault either.

It isn't?

No. It's all my fault.

It is?

It was something I said.

What?

"I do."

Darrin!

And I'd say it
all over again,

in spite of your mother and
leprechauns and all the craziness.

You're the greatest witch
a man ever had.

Now I'd better get back
to work on that slogan.

Mother?

Mother?

Ooh, you're a stubborn witch!

Mom?

Mother?
Mother, dear?

Mother, my love?

What is it now?

Nothing special.

Does there have
to be a reason

for a daughter
to want to spend

a few happy moments
with her mother?

Samantha, you needn't be
nasty about it.

Me, nasty?

I sent that leprechaun
for your own good.

It was a test,
and I'm happy to say,

you passed
with flying colors.

It was a test to see where the breaking
point is in this mortal marriage.

Really?

It was sponsored by
the Witches' Council.

And who suggested it
to the Witches' Council?

I believe the suggestion
came from the floor.

All right.
I suggested it.

Okay, Mother, I have
a suggestion for you.

Darrin wasted the entire day
with that dumb leprechaun

instead of trying to
come up with a slogan for the account,

and that's Larry,

so would you kindly
zap a good slogan

for Barbour Peaches
into his head?

I thought Durwood
had an ironclad rule

against your helping him
with witchcraft.

Well, I won't be
doing it. You will.

Very well.

Hey, Larry.
Come on in.

Well,
what are you drinking?

Nothing.

Louise is holding dinner
for me, so let's have it.

Hmm?

Oh, you mean the slogan.

[Larry] What else?

You did come up with
something, didn't you?

Well...

Of course
I've got the slogan.

Tell me how you love this?

"Don't shave the fuzz off your
peaches. Let Barbour do it."

Is that the best
you could do?

No, but I thought it was
the best he could do.

Give me that again.

"Don't shave the fuzz off your
peaches. Let Barbour do it."

You better put a spell
on Larry to love it.

I love it!

I don't know why I
love it, but I love it.

I'll take that drink now,
you son of a gun.

And just
one more thing.

Now what?

Do you know a way
to put a spell

on the entire
peach-buying public?

Mom?
What?

You're a peach.