All language subtitles for Bewitched.S06E23.Just.a.Kid.Again.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Come on. Let's see if we
can find something else.

Come on.

Oh! Hey, Tabitha, you think Emily
would like a pair of skates?

No, Mommy.
She has skates.

I'll have a salesman for
you in a moment, ma'am.

Mr. Bates? Mr. Bates!

He's never around
when I need him.

Oh, well,
don't worry about us.

We're just browsing.

Bates! What are you doing?

Just taking a little break,
Mr. Waterman.

A break from what?
You never work.

I see you're playing
with the games again,

while I'm swamped
with customers.

Sorry.

Now get out there
and do your job,

while you still have one.

Trust me, ma'am. You're
always safe with a doll.

And this happens to be our
newest model, Sassy Suzy.

It comes with
a comb and a brush.

And listen.

I don't want to comb
my hair. Don't bug me.

Suzy should come with two
brushes, one for each end.

Do you have a doll that's
not quite as sassy as Suzy?

Well, here's a doll
that doesn't talk at all.

Well, that's a novelty.
We'll take her.

All righty.

She's only $9.95. Is that
cash or charge? Charge.

All right. The cashier
is right over there.

Would you like it
gift wrapped?

Oh, yes.
Thank you very much.

Tabitha, I'm going to be right
over here at the cashier's, okay?

Right over there.
Okay, Mommy.

My, you certainly are a lucky little
girl, going to a birthday party.

I know.

Have fun while
you're a kid, Tabitha.

Because when you get
to be an old adult like me,

you have all sorts of things
like responsibilities,

a job, a boss.

Kids have got it made
in this uptight world.

Don't you like
being grown up?

Oh, sure.

But, boy, if I could
be a kid again...

You'd like to
be a little boy?

I sure would.

I had more fun when
I was nine years old

than I've had in
all the years since.

Okay, then say it.

Say what?

Say, "I wish I were
nine years old again."

Oh, I get it.
Make-believe, huh?

All right. I wish I were
nine years old again.

That's what's so great
about being a child.

You have time
for make-believe.

Make-believe?

Bye.

Thank you. Okay.

Hey, little girl!

Well, little boy, what are
you doing behind the counter?

I'm not a little boy,
Mr. Waterman.

I'm your salesman,
Irving Bates.

Okay, sonny.
What's the joke?

This is no joke!

I was just talking to
that little girl over there...

Hey! She's gone!

Bewitched.

Excuse me.

Mr. Waterman,
please, believe me.

I'm Irving Bates.

Now go away,
little boy.

Madam, may I help you? Our salesman
seems to be hiding somewhere.

But I'm your salesman!

All right, sonny.

Obviously, Bates is
paying you to torture me.

Now, where is he?

I told you, I'm...

Okay. I'll tell you.

He's over in
sporting goods goofing off.

Excuse me. I'll get
to the bottom of this.

Ah, here it is.

"Stephens,1164 Morning
Glory Circle, Westport."

Darn it!

Well, hi there,
young fellow.

This your daddy's car?

No, it's mine.
I think I flooded the motor.

Well, hey, don't do that.
Don't do that, kid.

Do you want to
cause an accident?

It's all right, officer.

Just disregard my appearance.

I happen to be a grown man.

And I happen to be
Bonnie Prince Charlie.

Well, just give me
the keys, huh?

Now, look, nothing bugs me more
than a puffed-up, overbearing cop.

Will you cut that out,
you little mini-monster?

Uh, uh...

I mean, now, son,
don't you think

that before you
start trying to drive,

your feet should
reach the pedals, huh?

Cut that out!

I happen to be 32 years old
and a taxpayer.

Oh, boy,
what an imagination.

I'll bet you're just great
at show-and-tell time, huh?

Okay, sonny, Upsy-daisy.

Put me down! Knock it
off with the police brutality!

I'm gonna sue!

Just... Just calm...
Just calm down.

We're... We're... We're
gonna take you to your parents.

Where are Mommy
and Daddy?

They live that way.

Yeah, well,
exactly where?

In Toledo, Ohio.

Toledo?

Come on, gramps!
Move this thing.

All right. All right.
Don't get pushy.

Where to?
Hurry.

Just get this jalopy moving.

You're really getting an early
start on that ulcer, aren't you?

Coming!

All right.

Hello there.

My, aren't we all
dressed up this morning.

That's right. And your daughter's
the one who dressed me.

Just what exactly do you
mean by that, young man?

I mean,
I'm having a wild nightmare,

and you and your
daughter are in it.

Are you new in
the neighborhood?

Not only am I new
in the neighborhood,

I'm a whole new size,
thanks to your daughter.

What did she do?

There. Look familiar?

Irving Bates.

Oh, now I know. The toy salesman
at Hanley's Department Store.

Your father?

No. But you're close.
It's me.

Oh, my stars!
You'd better come in.

Tabitha!

Anyway, this is better than
the nightmares I usually have

where I end up
getting married.

Did you want me, Mommy?

Oh, hi, mister. Do you
like being a little boy again?

Tabitha,
what happened?

I just realized something.

I dream in full color.

Mr. Bates.

Look, this seems
like an informal dream.

Why don't you
call me Irving?

Okay, Irving.

I would like to talk
to Tabitha for a minute.

So you just keep
right on dreaming.

All right.
And if I wake up

before you get back,
nice meeting you.

Come with me.

All right, young lady.
Now you know

you're not supposed
to do things like that.

You change him
back immediately.

But Irving said it would be
fun to be a little boy again.

That doesn't mean
he expected it to happen.

Now, go ahead.

Okay.

Tabitha, you're not trying.

Yes, I am, Mommy.

You wait here.

Irving, little boys
do not play with matches.

I'm not a little boy.
I'm just having a dream.

Irving, I don't know
how to tell you this,

except to come right out
and tell you this.

Tell me what?
You're not dreaming.

Oh, come on.

What do you call it
when a full-grown man

suddenly finds himself
turned into a nine-year-old boy?

Well, there is
a name for it.

What are you
talking about?

How does the word
"witchcraft" hit you?

You're pulling my leg.

No, Irving, not really.

You see, I am a witch.
So is Tabitha.

Well, I won't hold
that against you.

I'm a liberal.

What am I saying?

There's no such thing
as witches.

Then how do you explain
your second childhood?

Well, I can explain that.

I'd better call the cops.
Be my guest, Irving.

But do you really think
they're gonna believe you?

Why, of course.

They can see for themselves.

You're right.
I don't believe me.

I'll think
of something.

Just try
to be patient.

Patient? You forget!

I'm on the missing list.

My boss is
looking for me and...

Check that.
I'm sure to be fired by now.

I was supposed to meet my
girl for lunch two hours ago!

I'll bet she's furious.

You'd better talk to her.

Tell her you're a friend
of the family.

Her name's Ruthie.

Hello.

Is this Ruthie?

Yes, it is.

Well, I'm calling for Irving, and he's
sorry he couldn't make lunch today.

Who is this?

Oh, this is a friend
of the family.

And Irving wanted you to know that
he's a little under the weather.

Oh?

And why didn't he
call me himself?

Well, because at the moment
he's not quite up to it.

And are you nursing
him back to health?

Yes. I mean, no!
We're just good friends.

Well, you can tell
Mr. Irving Bates

that he's stood me up
for the last time.

And you can also tell him
that he's a pretty small person.

But, Ruthie!

But...

What happened?

She hung up.

Swell. I've lost
my girl and my job.

If this isn't a nightmare,
I'd better stay a little boy.

Oh, now,
don't you worry, Irving.

We'll get you
out of this mess.

Oops!

Irving, that's my husband.

Now you just pretend
you're a friend of Tabitha's.

Isn't she
a little young for me?

Just do as I say.

What if I don't want to?

Do you see that?

No wonder you witches
had so much trouble in Salem.

Now, you just do as I say, and
we'll tend to your problem later.

Right, Tabitha?

Yes, Mommy.

Hi, sweetheart.
How was the game?

Great. Hi, Tabitha.

Daddy, this is my
new friend, Mr. Bates.

She means Irving.

They were playing grown-ups.

Oh. Hi, Irving.
Hello.

Hey, feel that muscle.

I bet you like football,
don't you, fellow?

Did you have to do that?

Do what?
This.

Irving, please.

Darrin, Irving is
a very unusual child.

Tabitha, why don't you and
Irving go and play on the patio?

Okay, Mommy.

You'd like that,
wouldn't you, Irving?

All right.
I'll play with the kid.

What have
I got to lose?

What has
he got to lose?

Well, he already
lost his marbles.

He doesn't want to
lose anything else.

Will you push me?

Sure.

Sam, what's with
that little kid?

What little kid?

I mean, that little kid,
whatever his name is.

Darrin, why don't you
get ready for lunch?

I'll tell you later.

You mean, Irving is
going to join us for lunch?

Yes. Maybe even dinner, with the
outside possibility of breakfast.

Don't tell me he's
going to spend the night.

Okay, I won't.

What, he's gonna
spend the night?

Darrin, make up
your mind.

Do you want
to know or not?

Sam!
Well?

I think I'll get
ready for lunch.

Good idea.

Tabitha, would you like me to stay
around and be your big brother?

We could have fun all
the time. Mmm-hmm!

Well, then,
why don't you just forget

about trying to
change me back?

Okay.

It might be fun
starting out all over again.

And things are gonna be
a lot different this time.

There. Everything okay?

I don't want any milk!
How about a beer?

How about
a punch in the nose?

I'll drink the milk.

All right, Sam.
Now, then.

You were going to tell me
something about this youngster?

The name's Irving, fella.

Irving, in this house, little boys and
girls speak to adults with respect.

Now, how old is he?

He's older
than he looks.

I'm 32.

Look, Irving,
I wasn't talking to you.

I was... What did he say?

I think he said
he was 32.

Sam, what's going on here?

I'm glad you
asked that, sweetheart.

Please, Samantha.
It's my story. Let me.

This is the story of
Irving and Tabitha.

See Irving.
See Tabitha.

See Irving sell toys.
See Tabitha go...

See Irving go...

You see, sweetheart,
it's kind of a short story.

You mean Tabitha changed a
32-year-old man into this little boy?

You go to the head
of the class, buster.

Now, look, sonny.
I mean, fella.

Hit me!
I took karate!

No one's gonna hit anybody,
and get down off that chair.

Now, Tabitha, how
could you do such a thing?

Like this, Daddy.

Oh, never mind.

Sam, why doesn't
she change him back?

Well, she's working on it,
but it isn't working.

What are we
gonna do with him?

Well, now, sweetheart,
don't worry.

She'll change him back,

and, well, if she can't...

Let's look at
the bright side.

How many people get
a second chance in life?

Irving has
a great opportunity.

He can grow up
all over again.

But where?

Where would he grow
up all over again?

Well, darling, we can't just
throw him out in the street.

That's right, Dad.

Please don't call me that.

Just think of the
plus side, Darrin.

You'll get
another deduction.

Samantha, I would
like to speak to you

in the living room,
privately.

When?

Now.

Oh.

Sam, do something.

There is one
possible solution.

What's that?
Dr. Bombay.

Under these circumstances, I'd
even accept help from that quack.

Oh, now, Darrin.
Don't antagonize him.

He's the best
witch doctor we have.

I wish you
wouldn't call him that.

Calling Dr. Bombay!
Calling Dr. Bombay!

Emergency!
Come right away!

How dare you interrupt
my Antarctic rounds?

Don't look at me.

That'll be a pleasure.

Dr. Bombay, I'm sorry to
call you on such short notice,

but you are
the family physician.

Well, I was in the middle
of a delicate operation,

but the patient
will just have to wait.

Was it serious?

Oh, quite.

I was doing a nose job
on a penguin.

Well, what's the earth-shattering
problem this time?

Irving, Tabitha, would
you come here, please?

Dr. Bombay,
until this morning,

this little boy was known
as Mr. Irving Bates,

a 32-year-old man.

Tabitha sort of shrunk him.

Now she can't un-shrink him.

Frankly, I'd just as
soon remain shrunk.

Who's the ding-a-ling
in the parka?

[Sam] Irving!

Just show the doctor
your driver's license.

Here. See?

That's what he
looked like this morning.

Hmm? Oh, yeah.

Yes, I can see why
he wants to remain shrunk.

Yes, if I were you, I'd want to remain
a child for as long as possible.

Very funny.

Doctor, just save your
bedside manner for the penguin.

We need your help.

Very well. To work.
To work. To work.

Now, we have a
depressing situation here.

So, I'll need this.
Get it?

Tongue depressor.
Depressing.

Nothing. Well,
I'll just try a little test.

Eye of squid, grinding stone,

make this kid fully grown.

Nothing happened.

Well, when that incantation
fails, it can only mean one thing.

Samantha, I'd like a
private consultation with you.

Do you have any
pickled herring about?

I think so.
Come on, Irving, Tabitha.

Why didn't it work?

Obviously, resistance from the two
principals, Tabitha and the boy.

Well, first, there's Irving's
desire to remain a child,

and, no doubt, Tabitha enjoys
having another playmate.

Subconsciously,
she's holding back.

Ah...

Then what I have to do

is get Irving to lose interest
in remaining a little boy.

Brilliant prognosis.

I almost feel like
splitting my fee with you.

Thank you, Doctor.

I said, almost.

Here's the herring.
What do you want it for?

The penguin owes me
500 fish for her nose job,

and I haven't
a bit of small change.

Before you say anything, I think the
problem of Irving Bates is solved.

Oh?
Yes. Well, it's obvious

that Irving is enjoying
being nine years old again.

I can think of some ways
to change his mind.

I know exactly how
to change his mind.

Sure, I'd like to see Ruthie
again, just for my memory book.

Where does she work?

Down on 58th Street at the
Drucker Travel Bureau. Why?

How'd we do that?

We zonked across the
atmospheric continuum.

Huh?
Never mind.

Is that Ruthie?
Yeah.

Hey, Ruthie! It's me!

Yes, sonny.
May I help you?

No. I was just browsing.

Ruthie sure is pretty.

Yeah.
She sure does look nice.

Miss Campbell.

Yes?

Ruthie, what are you
doing this evening?

Nothing, Mr. Drucker.

Do you have any extra work
you'd like me to do tonight?

No, I would like you to come
out and have dinner with me.

That old fink.

There'll be soft lights
and sweet music.

Oh, Ruthie,
I'm crazy about you.

But, Mr. Drucker...

Herman.

I never knew
you felt this way.

Neither did I. It just hit
me like a ton of bricks.

It must have been
building up for years.

But you're married.
What about your wife?

Try to forget about her.
I already have.

Well, I'm already
spoken for.

You mean that schnook
Irving Bates?

Yes, I mean that...
I mean Irving Bates.

Well, I'll make you
forget him.

All right, Casanova.
You asked for it.

Why, you little...

Ruthie, I...
I mean, Miss Campbell.

I don't know what happened.
I'm very sorry.

Must be that stuff I'm taking
for iron-poor blood.

I need to go out and get
something cold to drink.

Oh, thanks,
little boy!

Oh, that was such an
adorable thing you did!

You're welcome.

I mean it.
That was really brave.

Sweetie, I wish
I had more time

for some more
hugging and kissing,

but there's something very
important I have to tend to.

My, how mature we are
for such a little man.

Honey, you have no idea.

So I'd better go.

Bye.
Bye.

Oh, I'd better get
back on my liver pills.

But Irving wanted
to be a little boy.

Irving only thought
he wanted to be a little boy.

You see, honey,
people sometimes wish

for things they
don't really want,

simply because they know their
wish can't possibly come true.

That's right, but your
mommy made me realize

that even though I thought there
was a lot wrong with my world,

there was a lot right
about it, too, like Ruthie.

Don't you think it's time
you changed him back?

Okay, Mommy.

Hey, I'm me again!

That's right.
You're good as new,

fit as a fiddle,
and ready for Ruthie.

Samantha, would you
do me a favor?

If I can.

Yeah.
Oh, you can do this.

Would you zonk me to Ruthie on
one of your nonscheduled flights?

Would you mind,
sweetheart?

Mind? If I could do it,
I'd do it myself.

Okay.

Before I go,
I want you all to know,

it's been some kind of an
experience knowing you.

I mean,
I've met a real witch.

And if I tell anybody, they'll
put me in a real straightjacket.

And, Tabitha, thanks.

Being a kid again has
sure helped me to grow up.

Okay, I'm ready
for my flight.

Fine.

This is your
captain speaking.

You will be flying
at an altitude of...

Sam.

Bye-bye,
Mr. Bates.

Oh, sweetheart.

Aren't you proud
of our daughter?

If it hadn't
been for her,

Irving and Ruthie would
never have had the chance

to be as happy
as we are.

This is happy?

What would you call it?

Happy! Happy!