All language subtitles for Bewitched.S06E17.The.Phrase.Is.Familiar.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Okay, now, we're gonna
try another one, all right?

You're getting very smart.

Now,
you have five apples, right?

You get one, two,
three more apples.

How many apples
do you have?

Eight apples.

That's very good.
Now think carefully.

You have eight apples.

Now take away
two apples.

How many apples
are left?

Take away two apples?
That's easy, Mommy.

That leaves six!

You saw that?

I saw that.

Well, how you
like them apples?

Sam, what's going on?

New math?

All right, Tabitha.
Bring back the apples.

Yes, sweetheart,

those Winesaps
cost 35 cents a pound.

Okay.

Thanks, Tabitha.

Well, lesson's over,
sweetheart.

Darrin, I really do think
she's ready for kindergarten.

I think she's ready
for The Ed Sullivan Show.

Good morning,
dear child.

My precious
Tabitha.

Hello, Grandmamma.

Good morning, Durwood.

It was, wasn't it?

Mother, Darrin and I are
having an important discussion,

so if you don't mind...

Of course I don't mind.

What is more important
than Tabitha's education?

Fortunately,
I have solved your problem.

May I present
Professor Poindexter Phipps?

Forget it, Endora. Tabitha is not
having a warlock for a teacher.

Why not?
She has a witch for a mother.

Professor, this is
my daughter, Samantha.

How do you do?
How do you do?

And you must
be Durwood.

Try Darrin.

Apple for
the teacher.

Good form
for a mortal.

Sam, I want
to talk to you.

When?
Now.

Oh. Excuse us.

Yes, sweetheart?

I just heard it.

Sweetheart, Mother was
just trying to be helpful.

And you will admit
it's time Tabitha

was getting a formal
education, won't you?

Now, Sam... Who
could be more qualified

to teach a young witch thirsting
for knowledge than a warlock?

Well, I guess
it can't hurt to try.

But only if you promise the
professor will teach Tabitha

in a perfectly normal,
perfectly mortal way.

I promise.
Witch's honor.

Uh...

I mean, right.

I should have warned you,
Professor Phipps,

that Durwood is
a little eccentric.

It's no matter.
I'll be happy to comply.

Mr. Stephens,
let me put it this way.

It's true I am a warlock,
but first, I am an educator.

I do not teach witchcraft.

I teach the arts.
Music, literature, et cetera.

In the mortal way.

As you wish.

[Phipps] Tabitha?

Goodbye, dear.

Is this a sample
of your work?

Yes, it's a campaign
I dreamed up.

Your daughter's acquiring
a tutor none too soon.

It isn't meant to be
literature, Professor.

It's one of Darrin's
advertising campaigns.

And, I might add, a highly
successful advertising campaign.

You see, normal people like to
identify with a familiar phrase,

like "don't cry
over spilt milk."

Why don't you call those
phrases what they really are,

cliches?

Mortal,
verbal mediocrity.

If you'll excuse me, I'll get
on with Tabitha's lessons.

Come, my dear.

Mother, the art of using familiar
phrases to catch the public eye

is a very important part
of the advertising business.

Forget it, Sam.
I'm late for the office.

Endora, I'm sorry
I can't stay and chat,

but if you're able to drop
in tomorrow morning...

I certainly hope not.

Samantha,
is it really true

that if Durwood could think up
more of those so-called phrases,

he would be more successful
doing whatever it is he does?

Of course. Advertising men
get paid a lot of money

to come up with
clever slogans.

Really?

Now, Mother...

Excuse me, Herb. Have
a nice day, Mr. Stephens.

Spirits north
and spirits south,

let my spell
control your mouth.

Let Durwood find,
to his dismay,

that all his words
are now cliche.

Thanks, Ted.

But nothing comes easy.

The proof of the pudding
is in the eating.

The trick is to walk softly
and carry a big stick.

Yeah, that's
what they say.

They sure do say that,
don't they?

"There in the back
streets of London,

"Oliver met
the Artful Dodger,

"the young ringleader
of a gang of boy thieves."

What did Artful
look like?

Well, he was
about this tall

and skinny,
with a smudge on his nose,

and he wore a tall silk hat.

Was he handsome?

I've got it.
Why don't I show you?

Tabitha, I would like you
to meet the Artful Dodger.

Charmed, my dear.

Come on.
You can smile a little bit.

Oh!

He looks just like Darrin,
doesn't he?

Nonsense.

Babies always have
that bewildered expression.

Mother! I'm gonna go down and
sneak a peek at Tabitha's lesson.

You want to come?
In a moment, love.

I want to stay and
play with my grandson.

Come on, now.
Come on.

Look at Grandmamma.
Come on.

That's a boy.
That's a little fellow.

Professor,
who in the world is this?

The Artful Dodger. At
your service, fair lady.

My ring, please.

Ring? What ring?

The one you just
removed from my finger.

Oh, so I did.
It must be this hangnail.

Catches everything.

Isn't he wonderful,
Samantha?

A page out of
Dickens come to life.

Professor, you promised us there
wouldn't be any witchcraft.

I promised I wouldn't teach
witchcraft, and I haven't.

Well, I don't think that
Darrin would see it that way,

so why don't we just return
him to the pages of literature?

I will return my teaching aid
from whence he came

when I decide
the lesson is over.

Is that clear?

Now just a moment,
Professor...

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Darrin, these sales
figures for Kitty Kakes

are fantastic,
thanks to your slogan.

Yeah, the public bought
it hook, line and sinker.

I'll say, you son of a gun, and
Multiple Industries couldn't be happier.

Tickled pink, huh?

The color's more like green,
Mr. Phrasemaker.

And some of that green
will be a bonus for you.

A bonus? That would be
a sight for sore eyes.

Right. Anyway, H.B. Summers,
Multiple's head of marketing,

wants you to
create a new slogan

for their farm
machinery division.

How do you like that?

I don't.

You know, the acoustics
are lousy in this room.

I could have sworn...

I already have
a campaign worked out

for the farm
machinery division.

What's good for the goose doesn't
necessarily mean it's good for the gander.

Darrin,
this gander wants slogans,

and if we don't come up with
some, our goose is cooked.

We should put this in
the think tank for a while.

Darrin, what's the
matter with you?

You sound like an
encyclopedia of cliches.

Well, you can't judge
a book by its cover.

There you go again.

You're right. Uh...

Cliches are like popcorn.

Once you get started,
you can't stop.

Pull yourself together,
Darrin.

Multiple Industries
makes everything

from safety pins
to bulldozers,

and all we need is a few
good slogans, and we're in.

Now here's a list
of all their products.

Can you come up with
something by noon?

Well, Larry, I don't like
to blow my own horn...

That's perfect.

For what?

Their musical
instruments division. Oh!

Where are you going?

Home sweet home.

You know, when the cat's
away, the mice will play.

Huh?

What I meant was,
I left something at home.

I'd forget my head
if it wasn't fastened on.

All right,
but be quick about it.

We have a lunch date with
Summers at the Blue Boar at 1:00.

Larry, I'll be there to
grab the bull by its horns

before any more water
passes under the bridge.

Sam?

Hi, sweetheart.
What's the matter?

What's the matter?

I'll try to keep
a civil tongue in my head,

and at the same time,
talk turkey.

I smell a rat.

Darrin,
why are you talking so funny?

Because someone
put a spell on me,

and I'll bet dollars to
donuts I know who did it.

Mother!

Yes, my love?

Did you put
a spell on Darrin?

I cannot tell a lie.

I did place a friendly
little spell on Durwood.

That's the last straw.

Would you tell her
to button her lip?

Mother, you've had your
little joke, so if you would...

Would it be
presumptuous of me

to request a little silence
during school hours?

Well, I'm terribly sorry,
Professor.

We'll try to
keep it quieter.

Mother, if you don't
remove that spell, I...

Oh, I say,
a handsome gentleman.

Me hand, sir.

Sam, who is this?

One thing at a time,
sweetheart.

The spell, remember?

Come along. Mother.

Oh, very well.

I'll take the spell off.

Oh! You try to do a good
turn for someone...

Sweetheart,
say something.

I'll say something.

Who was that English
kid in there, and...

And where's my watch?

I think your second question
answered your first question.

That's the Artful Dodger
from Oliver Twist.

That settles it.

I said no witchcraft,
and he used witchcraft.

Sam, the professor goes.

Just a minute, Durwood.

Endora, you've been a
busy little bee. Now buzz off.

Oh! Really.

Well, I certainly
hope Mother's going

to be a good
sport about this.

Here's your watch,
sweetheart.

The Dodger has this problem
with a hangnail.

I'll bet.

Now, Sam,
I've got to leave now

or I'll be late
for my lunch meeting.

But I want it clearly
understood that when I return,

the professor and that
kleptomaniac will be out of here.

It's as good as done,
sweetheart.

There goes my little pigeon.

The spell I renew,
you boorish lout.

Your cliches will be few,
but you'll act them out.

Goodbye. Thank you.

Yes. Goodbye.

Has Mr. Tate arrived yet?

Yes. He and another gentleman
have been here for a few minutes.

I'll take you
to their table.

It's 1: 15 already.
Time sure flies.

How did you do that?

Sorry. Family secret.

Would you tell Mr. Tate
that Mr. Stephens called

and said he
couldn't make it?

[Larry] Darrin!

Come on, Summers is
anxious to meet you.

H.B. Summers,
meet Darrin Stephens,

better known as
the slogan king.

My pleasure,
Stephens.

I'm a great
admirer of yours.

Thanks,
Mr. Summers.

H.B. to my friends.

Stephens, you're
my kind of ad man.

Your campaigns
are clever.

They hit that nail
right on the head.

Right, H.B.

Darrin has the genius to get
through to the common man.

Tate was telling me
about your latest slogan.

"Blow your own horn." I like
that, Stephens. It's knockout.

Thanks, H.B.
I wish I could see eye to eye

with you.

Darrin, you all right?

Sure, sure.

I was just attempting to point
out that slogans can be overdone.

Now,
I have a campaign worked out

for your farm
machinery division...

Forget it. I got a little idea
myself for the bulldozer division.

Now what do you
think of this?

"Make molehills
out of mountains."

You get it?
There's a twist there.

Of course we
get it, H.B., and it's knockout.

Right, Darrin?

Truthfully, no.

It just doesn't
ring the bell.

What was that?

Two bells and all's well.

It's an old custom here.

That reminds me,
I've got to call home.

You have to do it now?

Yes. Larry, just order
me a club sandwich.

I'll be back quicker than
you can say Jack Robinson.

Jack Robinson.
Jack Robinson.

That's very good.

Why did we say that?

I don't know.
Maybe it's catching.

Well, I warned you. Mother's very
sensitive about being told to buzz off.

There aren't as
many cliches now,

but when I do say one,
it comes true.

Well, just calm down,
sweetheart.

I'll find Mother.

You're right, Sam.

I've got to get
a grip on myself.

Darrin?

Darrin?

Hello.
What happened?

I'll tell you later.

Just track down
your mother, fast.

Goodbye, Sam.

Darrin, you can't insult a man's
brainchild and then just walk away.

What's bothering you?

I couldn't begin
to tell you.

Well, get a grip
on yourself.

I already tried that.

Sorry for the interruption.

Now, back to
the problem of slogans.

I devote a lot of my time
keeping in touch with the public.

You might say
keeping my ear to the ground.

Another one of those
clever demonstrations, H.B.

Would you like to
get up now, Darrin?

Gentlemen, I really
don't feel very well.

I think I'd better go home.

Was it something
I said, Stephens?

Not at all, H.B.

But I'd better shake a leg.

So, if you'll excuse me,
I'll just bow out.

How come all the creative ones
have a screw loose upstairs?

H.B., as of this moment,
Stephens is off your account.

Why? He may be a ding-a-ling,
but he's got a magic touch.

Exactly, and he'll be with
you as long as you want him.

Sam. Sam. Where are you?

I'm in the nursery.
I'll be right down.

Have you reached
your mother yet?

I don't know whether
I'm coming or going.

Darrin? Oh. I thought
I heard you come in.

You did, but your
mother's spell is at work.

It's Larry.

We're not home.

You want the slogan king,
you'll get the slogan king.

If I have to bring him in
in a net.

Darrin?

Darrin?

Darrin!

Tate, what are you doing?

Darrin and I have
an understanding.

If he doesn't
answer the doorbell,

I'm supposed to
crawl in the window.

There you are, Darrin!

Come on in, H.B.

Hi, Larry. I was just
going to open the door.

Yeah, quicker than I can say
Jack Robinson, huh?

Sam, Mr. Summers.

How do you do?

Thank goodness you're here.
Maybe you can talk some sense

into your husband.

I'm sorry, Larry, but I
won't have anything to do

with a campaign
based on slogans.

Come on, Stephens.
We're grown men.

Why can't we
reach a compromise?

[Darrin] All right, H.B.

If you'll play ball with me,
I'll play ball with you.

Mother! Mother,
you come here this instant!

Mother,
you materialize and fast!

That isn't a very affectionate
way to summon one's mother.

After what you
have done to Darrin,

what do you expect,
the witch's love call?

Well, to coin
a mortal phrase,

it looks like they
bored each other stiff.

Very amusing.
Now, undo your thing.

If you insist.

Now I'm off to Oxford.

I've entered a new
class that should help me

to understand Durwood
a little better.

Marvelous, Mother.

It's a course in
anthropoid behavior. Ta-ta.

Really.

Sam, what happened?

Never mind
what happened.

Let's just worry about
what's going to happen.

Yeah. How am I gonna explain
those baseball uniforms?

You won't have to. You
just take their coats off

while I make
a couple of drinks.

Sam, would you mind
telling me what...

We have a lot to do.

I'll tell you
as we go along.

You're sure
he won't break?

Of course not.

We'll just get them
comfortable on the sofa.

Then I'll bring them to,

and we'll be chatting as
if everything were normal.

But what are we
chatting about?

Oh, about how nice it is
that they dropped in, and...

Oh, and how pleased
I am that H.B.

finally agreed to go for my
campaign instead of the slogans.

Very good.
Honey, hand me a drink.

And you put one
in his hand.

Goodness.

Me, too.
Mmm.

Okay.

You ready?
Mmm-hmm.

Mr. Summers, you have such
a delightful sense of humor.

So, you really feel, H.B.,
that my idea is knockout?

I don't understand this.
The last thing I remember,

I was standing over there,
wearing a baseball uniform.

Baseball uniform?

Oh, you are joking,
Mr. Summers.

Listen, didn't we crawl in
through the window and...

Crawl in the window?

Oh, come on, Larry, what are
you trying to do, gaslight me?

Just another little joke.

But now back to
our discussion

about my idea for
the farm machinery.

Personally,
I love Darrin's idea.

Not that I count, of course.

It's the fact that you like it so
much, Mr. Summers, that matters.

How about you, Larry?

You're the only one
we haven't heard from.

Well, if H.B. likes it,
I like it, too.

I mean, you do
like it, don't you?

Oh.

It's knockout.

Isn't it?

Certainly.

Certainly.

Well, I have
a severe headache

and I think I'd
better run along

to the office and take a little
nap. Oh, dear. What a shame.

Well, Larry,
why don't you stay here,

and we can go over the
idea in detail so that we...

Never mind. Just write it
down on a piece of paper,

put it on my desk,
and we'll discuss it.

You didn't see any baseball
uniforms, did you, Larry?

No, not me.

Just for the record, I didn't
see any baseball uniforms either,

in case it ever comes up.

Well, let's go, Tate.

Mrs. Stephens, thank
you for your hospitality.

Lessons are over.

We'll be leaving
for the day.

Well, Larry,
Mr. Summers,

this is Professor Phipps and
Master Dodger, Tabitha's tutors.

Yes. You see, we're the
tutors, and she's the tutee.

Cute little dickens,
isn't he?

Well, good day.

Professor, don't you want
to leave by the front door?

Well, that's
a quaint notion.

Let's try it, Dodger.

It's a pleasure meeting
you fine gentlemen.

Take care, now.
Yeah.

Bye, Sam.
Bye, H.B.

Thank you.
Mr. Summers. Sure.

Well...

I seem to have
lost my cuff links.

Call me if you
find them.

Sure, H.B.

Well, Sam, it looks
like H.B.'s cuff links

have found
a place in literature.

Well, that'll be
a new twist.

Sorry, sweetheart.