All language subtitles for Bewitched.S05E16.Cousin.Serena.Strikes.Again.2.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

- Serena!
- I might have known.

Who were you expecting,
Steve McQueen?

Samantha, may I present
Clio Vanita?

- Darling.
- How do you--

Mm, naughty boy.

Did you not promise to take me to
lunch, eh? And yet you never called.

Come to Rome with me.

- What for?
- Uh, don't answer that!

No one is going to make
a monkey out of my cousin.

- Where's Miss Vanita?
- Right up there.

- You took a live client and turned her into a monkey?
- Serena did it.

I've sent
emergency calls out everywhere.

No response.
Serena's just being stubborn.

Sam, what are we going to do? That monkey
has to be at a meeting at 11:00 tomorrow.

No! No!

Hey.

Sweetheart,
what's the matter?

Oh, boy.

What a horrible nightmare.

I dreamt that one of our
clients was over for dinner--

Clio Vanita
of the Vanita wine account.

Whew! - Sweetheart, she
was here for dinner last night.

- That was last night?
- Mm-hmm.

And it wasn't a dream.

What?

Samantha, isn't there anything else you
can do to get Serena to come back here?

A spell you can cast?
A hex? Something?

Sweetheart, I've already
alerted every member of the

family to be on the
lookout for Serena.

They know how important it is.
All we can do is wait.

Sam, I've got an 11:00 meeting
at the office...

with Larry and that monkey
to sign a new contract.

What am I going to do? Get a
monkey-print for a signature?

I'll tell you one thing:

We mortals may not be perfect,

but if we could change
a person into a monkey,

our scientists would certainly
find a way to change him back.

What am I saying? I must be having
a nervous breakdown.

- Spaghetti?
- It's the only thing she'd eat.

- Will she remember any of this?
- No.

Shut up, you rotten,
little monkey!

It's
Serena! She's come back.

Darrin, since when does Serena
ring the doorbell?

I lost my head.

- My gosh, it's Larry! Keep her out of sight.
- Why?

I told Larry I drove Clio home
last night. If he sees her--

You're right. I'd better
get a hold of myself.

- Hi, Larry.
- Hi, Darrin. Ha!

I thought you and I could drive into work
together, and you can fill me in on things.

What are you talking
about? What do you think?

That was pretty cute the way you maneuvered
it last night so you could drive Clio home.

So don't keep me in suspense.
Did you patch it up?

Hey!

Cut it out.

- Did you find out who it belongs to?
- Uh, not yet.

W-W-- Will you stop that?

Sorry, sweetheart.
She got away from me.

- Good morning, Larry.
- Hi, Sam.

Looks like you've got a rival.

Well, let's face it: This boy's
got a fatal attraction for blondes.

- I noticed that last night.
- I was just kidding.

- I wasn't.
- If you're talking about Clio Vanita,

let me assure you that Darrin--
Larry, obviously, I'm not ready to leave,

and I don't want to make you late
for the office, so-- Oh, yeah.

Well, I-I'd better be going.

- Honey.
- I-I'll take her.

And, uh, please keep
trying to reach that party.

I will.

Come on.

- Look at the cute, little way she swings her hips.
- Larry!

- I was talking about the monkey.
- Oh.

- Heh! Well, I'll see you later, then, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

What'd I forget?

Oh, yeah--
the reason I stopped by.

- What about Clio?
- What about her?

What happened when you
drove her home last night?

Why, uh-- Yes, Sam?

What is it?

I thought you called me.

Didn't you call me?

Well, either way, I'll be with you
in a minute. Larry was just leaving.

I'll tell you all
about it later, Larry.

- But I--
- So long! So long!

- Uh, what was all that about?
- I just had to get rid of him. Where's Clio?

I tied her up out on the
patio. - Listen, Sam, I don't

know how much longer
I can keep this up.

- If we don't--
- [Serena] Yoo-hoo! Samantha, I'm back.

What are you doing
in that outfit?

What else do you wear
to go boating on the Nile?

I never thought I'd say it,
but am I glad to see you.

I wish I could say the same.

Serena, Darrin's just
trying to be nice.

It's a hopeless task.

Now, are you two going
to stop bugging me?

Of course, as soon as you change that
monkey back into my client. Please, Serena?

Well!

We're all sugar and spice
today, aren't we?

Yesterday it was
straight arsenic and old lace.

Well, that's because Darrin
isn't a spiteful person, Serena.

He, um-- He realizes that he was a
little unfair to you, and he's sorry.

- Aren't you, dear?
- I've never been sorrier.

Serena, Please.

Time is of the essence.

I don't know how I'm going to explain
to Clio where she was all night,

but I'll figure
that out when, uh--

Sam, where's the monkey?

I tied her right--

Oh, dear. She must have
slipped the noose.

No use wasting a good noose.
I'll just hang myself.

Oh, now, Darrin, stop that. She must
be somewhere in the neighborhood.

Well, as long as you don't
need me, I'll be getting back.

But we do need you. Someone
has to stay with Tabitha.

And as soon as we find the monkey,
you have to change her back.

And for Pete's sake, will
you put some clothes on?

Clio! Clio?

Cli-- Clio, where are you?

Cli-- Oh, Clio.
Come here, Clio!

Clio!

Clio!
I got a nice banana for ya!

Oh, Clio!

Yoo-hoo!
♪ Cli-io ♪

Ow.

Everybody's a critic.

Clio!

You did see a monkey?
Where? Where?

Darrin, come quick!
Where'd you see it?

A friend of mine found him
this morning. He took it home.

- A friend of his found the monkey and took it home.
- A blonde monkey?

- Yeah.
- Mm, excuse us.

The meeting's in 45 minutes.
I'll go to the office and

stall Larry while you
get the monkey,

and-- you know what. Sweetheart, will
you get going so I can get going?

Okay. Bye.

- Where's this friend live?
- He didn't know who it belonged to.

It didn't have a license or anything.
That's the only reason he took it home.

We don't want to cause your friend
any trouble. We just want the monkey.

Oh,134 Elm.

134 Elm. Thanks.

And, boy, will his mother
be glad to see you.

Oh, am I glad to see you! Do you know
what that monkey did to my place?

- Believe me, I'll pay for any damage.
- Believe me, I know you will!

It tore my curtains, broke a
lamp-- Oh, and not just any lamp.

It happens to be the lamp my mother-in-law
gave us, and she knows I hate it!

What am I gonna tell her? Broke
three dishes from my best china--

Well, I'm sorry if you've been
inconvenienced-- Inconvenienced?

My house is a wreck!

Uh, would, uh,
$20 make you happy?

- That's all?
- How much happiness do you want?

- How about 30?
- How about 25?

I'll take it.

Uh, n-now may I
have the monkey?

Are you kidding? You don't think
I'd keep that little monster here.

- What did you do with her?
- My kid took her down to the pet shop--

Goddard's on Main Street.

Personally, I think he was taken
advantage of. He only got $10.

- What are you doing?
- Taking a little happiness for myself.

You sold the monkey already?

Lady, it was one of the
fastest turnovers I ever had.

- Who bought her?
- A fellow named Joe Scibetta.

You know, he took one look
at that monkey and fell in love.

Scibetta. Hmm. Wonder
if he knew Clio's Italian.

- What?
- Never mind. May I use your phone?

Uh, sure.
Help yourself.

Say, uh, I hope that monkey
wasn't stolen.

- Uh, no, she just ran away.
- Because I'm a reputable dealer, and--

Mr. Stephens, please.
Mrs. Stephens.

Could you tell me where
this Joe Scibetta lives?

I can't tell you his exact address, but
I can tell you where you can find him.

Oh, hi, Darrin.

Ye-- Yes, I know it's 11:30.

No, she wasn't there.

Sweetheart, you don't have to
remind me that Clio's account

is worth half a
million dollars.

- I thought you said Clio was the monkey's name.
- It is.

Sweetheart, I'm just as
anxious as you are to get her

back there, but I may
be delayed.

Look, why don't you make it
a luncheon meeting?

You and Larry and Clio can have a couple
of drinks and eat in the boardroom.

Oh! Oh, my, oh, my.

I knew I sold that monkey
too cheap.

♪

No! I'm-a no sell-a this monkey
for all the money in the world.

But you have to
sell her to me.

She-- Well, I-I know
this monkey very well,

and-and she just won't be
happy doing this kind of work.

What are you talking about? She's
the best monkey I've ever had.

Well, look at this monkey.
Look-a how happy, eh?

Blondes have-a more fun.

No! No, I no sell her
for nothing.

Suppose I get you
another monkey?

No.

With this-a monkey, I'm-a
gonna make my dream come true.

- Dream?
- Si.

Ever since I come to this country,
I have-a one dream in my heart.

- What's that?
- To go back-a to old country.

Mr. Scibetta,

how would you like a free trip
back to Italy?

Ah, heh, you make-a
joke with me, uh?

No, no.
What I have in mind--

Hey, Scibetta.

What did we tell you about
operating without a permit?

- Oh. Oh, you tell-a me get one.
- Well?

- I get one.
- You're a wise guy, eh?

Officer, if that's all, we're in a
bit of a hurry. Come along, Mr.--

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Is that a new monkey?

Oh, sure, sure.
She's a beaut, eh?

Oh, yes, very cute.
Where is the monkey's license?

Oh, well, I just-a buy her. I no
have-a chance to get a license.

An animal has to be processed to make
sure he's not a menace to health.

Oh, now there I think
I can help you.

I happen to know that this
monkey is in perfect health.

If anything,
she's too healthy.

That may be as it is, lady, but I am
still taking that animal into custody.

- No, you can't do that.
- Oh? Well, I think otherwise.

Oww! It-- It bit me!

Come here!

[Scibetta] Cara mia!
Come back to your papa!

[Samantha] Clio!

Come back to me!
Clio!

[Italian continues] Clio!

Come back!
Come back, cara mia!

Clio! Where are you
going? Where are you--

Oh!

- How did she do that?
- Mama mia!

Oh, there's something weird about that
dame, and I'm gonna find out what it is!

- Halt!
- Hmm!

Lady, I'm warning you. I'm gonna
count three, and then I'm coming in.

One,

two--

Do you hear me?

- Where's the monkey?
- What monkey?

Mrs. Stephens--

All right, if that's the way
it's gotta be.

And just what did
you have in mind?

Thank you, Serena.

I-I think you better get
back to Tabitha. [Italian]

Cousin, how much longer
do I have to babysit?

Oh, just a little
while longer.

And I promise I'll do
the same for you someday.

I sincerely hope not.

I just remembered something.

This isn't my beat.

[Italian] Where am I?

Why, we're on our way to your
meeting with Darrin and Larry Tate.

Darrin suggested
that I pick you up...

because you weren't feeling too well when
he drove you back to your hotel last night.

I know how you feel,
but don't worry.

You look marvelous.

I guess you must be
a little confused, huh?

Huh!
I'm a whole lots-a confused.

Where's-a my little monkey?

Well, i-it's rather difficult to
explain, but it really doesn't matter.

Now, here's what
I'd like you to do.

No question about it:
She's sore at us.

- Why do you keep saying that?
- Because she was due at 11:00, and it's now 1: 30.

- I've got three minutes to 1:30.
- What's the difference?

- If she wasn't sore, wouldn't she have called?
- Not necessarily.

- She might not be in a position to call.
- What do you mean?

She could have been
in a terrible accident.

Oh, well, that would
certainly make me feel better.

Larry, I don't mean
she was in a-- Darrin.

- Hmm?
- What went on last night after we left?

You know, something
happened with Clio. I know it.

Now, why don't you
level with me, hmm?

Larry,
there's nothing to tell.

The last I saw of Clio, she was in
fine spirits, not a care in the world--

Chattering away,
hopping up and down.

Hopping up and down?

Well--

Yes? Mrs. Stephens
is here with Miss Vanita.

Thank you.
Send them in.

How about that?

Scusa.
You know, I'm so sorry.

- But I guess I overslept.
- Oh-ho! Sit down.

Clio, you naughty girl. You
really tied one on last night.

Yes, well, Darrin makes
a pretty powerful drink.

Lots of times I find that I can't
remember what went on at his house.

Uh, the reason we're late
is it took me a little time...

to find the right kind
of models that you asked for.

Oh, yes!
Uh, the models.

- Models?
- To go with the new slogan that Darrin came up with.

Darrin, why didn't you
tell me about it?

Well, I didn't want you to share
the blame in case it didn't go over.

But what is it?

Well, I tried it out on Sam to get the feminine
point of view and she seemed to like it.

Uh, so, Sam, why don't
you try it out on Clio?

Better yet,
why don't we show them?

You're gonna love it.

I certainly hope so.

Uh, sweetheart,
is this what you had in mind?

Oh, I think so.

- Well, uh, would you mind letting us in on it?
- In on what?

Mmm! I'm beginning to think I was not the
only one who had a lot to drink last night.

The slogan, Darrin,
the slogan.

Are you ready?

I'm past ready
and on my way to angry.

Go ahead, Sam,
tell 'em.

Well, sweetheart, it's
your idea. You tell them.

- Sam!
- Oh.

Yeah, well, okay.

You see, Darrin wanted to use the
organ grinder and his monkey...

to illustrate his slogan,
which is:

"Don't monkey around with anything
but the best. Drink Vino Vanita."

No wonder you wanted
Samantha to say it.

I think it is sensational!

I love it! Didn't I tell
you he was a genius?

The organ grinder
reminds us of Italy, no?

And the little monkey,
charming. How does it go?

Eh, don't fool around
with anything but the best.

Mm-hmm.
I love it!

Actually, it's,
"Don't monkey around with--"

Forget it, Darrin.
We made the sale.

We also have a commercial jingle for Vino
Vanita that ties in with the same models.

- We do?
- that we could discuss sometime late tomorrow.

"Don't monkey around with
anything but the best."

Hmm. "Monkey around."

It does have
a ring to it, no?

Yes, it does, doesn't it?

"Higgledy piggledy,
my red hen." Hm.

"She lays eggs
for gentlemen."

Read me another one,
Auntie Serena.

Okay, sweets.

"Jack be nimble,

"Jack be quick.

Jack jump over
the candlestick."

More.

Uh-oh.

Here comes your father,
the spoilsport.

- What's the meaning of this?
- Beats me.

I don't groove on these nursery rhymes
at all, but they sure flip the kid.

Samantha, why don't you take Tabitha into
the kitchen for some cookies and milk?

I want to stay
and hear you scream, Daddy.

Sam.

Darrin, Serena was just entertaining
Tabitha the only way she knows how,

so don't be-- And I'm going
to be as gracious as I know how.

I hope so.

Come on, sweetheart.

Mm-hmm. Serena,
if you'll be good enough...

to get rid of that, I'd like to
have a little chat with you.

Well, if we must,
we must.

Thank you.

Serena, there's no sense
in trying...

to be gracious with you,
so I'll just make my point.

The next time you visit here, I'd
like to make one simple request.

- What's that?
- Don't!

Cousin-in-law, if that's
as gracious as you can be,

I am going to show you
how entertaining I can be.

Oh, Serena, you're a riot!

Sam!

Darrin, you promised me
you were going to be--

And you weren't.

Samantha, do something!

Serena, please?

Not until he apologizes.

Darrin, apologize.

- What for?
- What for?

- He insulted me.
- I did not insult her!

- You didn't?
- No! In order for someone to be insulted,

- they have to have feelings.
- Uh-oh.

That did it.

And he can stay that way
till doomsday.

- Sam, don't let her go. Get her back!
- I-It's no use, sweetheart.

You'll just have to wait
until Serena cools off.

And what do I do
in the meantime?

Well, don't worry. With your luck,
doomsday may be just around the corner.

- Sam!
- Well?