All language subtitles for Bewitched.S05E14.Samanthas.Super.Maid.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Are you gonna tell me what you're
doing, or do I have to guess?

I'm making a paper
airplane for Tabitha.

- Haven't you ever seen one before?
- No. Will it fly?

Of course.
Come on. I'll show you.

Tabitha?

I once won a paper
airplane contest.

Oh, isn't that nice.

Watch this, Tabitha.

Hey, that's cute!

- I want to try it, Daddy.
- You just throw it the way Daddy did.

Well--

Like this, sweetheart.

- Hello?
- Hi, Samantha. It's Mrs. Stephens.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Stephens.
How are you?

Oh, fine, dear.
It's such a lovely day,

I thought I'd invite myself
over for a visit.

Oh, gee, Mrs. Stephens.
I'm sorry to disappoint you,

but Darrin's going
to play golf, and I'm--

Oh, that's perfect. It'll give us
girls a chance for a little talk-talk.

A little talk-talk?
Oh, I-I'd just love that.

Oh, good, dear. I'll be
over right after lunch.

Bye.

- Who was that?
- Your mother.

It's such a lovely day, she's
coming over to nose around.

I'm sure
she won't stay long.

Last Sunday, she came
for lunch and left after dinner.

Oh. Well, maybe I should
give up my golf game.

Oh, no, sweetheart.
You don't have to do that.

I don't mind. After all,
she's my mother.

- Well, it would be nice.
- You bet.

And next Sunday, if she
comes over, I won't play golf.

Terrific.

Hey, that's very good.

It's fun flying
Daddy's plane, isn't it?

I'm gonna fly it all day.

Can I try?

Obviously,
this just isn't my day.

Ooh!
Good afternoon, darling.

Hi.

Now that isn't what I'd call
an enthusiastic greeting.

Well, it's just
that you startled me.

- Where have you been?
- Persia, darling.

The Shah of Xanadu was
becoming drearily insistent,

so I decided to teach him
a lesson and disappear.

But I'm really hooked
on his hookah.

He's probably tearing the palace
inside out looking for it.

- Mother, would you mind changing?
- Why, darling?

Well, I'm expecting
Darrin's mother any minute.

And, uh, hide your hookah.

Oh, you poor thing.

Darling, why don't you
come to the palace with me.

The shah isn't that dreary.

Mother, please?

- Thank you. Yes.
- All right?

I'm sorry to be late,
Samantha.

Is my adorable granddaughter
up from her nap yet?

No, not-not for a while.
Uh, you remember my mother.

Oh, yes.

How terribly nice
to see you.

Do you live here now?

- Live here?
- Whatever gave you that idea?

Well, it's-- it's just that
every time I visit, she's here.

- Oh, it's just a coincidence.
- A happy coincidence.

Samantha darling,
I'm sure you and Mrs., uh--

Stephens have so many things
to talk about.

- Um, I think I'll be going.
- Oh, what a shame.

Here, let me
take your coat.

Where-- Where'd she go?

Well, when, uh, my mother
says she's going,

she goes.

Oh. But, um-- But-But--

Why are we standing here?
Let's go in and sit down.

Come on.

Actually, I'm glad
we have this chance to talk,

because-- because
I've been thinking.

Oh?

And what I've been thinking
is that you need a maid.

A maid? What for?

Well, it'll give you time
to socialize...

with the people who can boost
Darrin up the ladder of success.

What people are those?

Well, for instance,
there's Mrs. Endicott Otis.

Her husband practically
runs the community,

and I would never
have met her...

if I didn't sacrifice
those two days a week...

at the League
of Women Volunteers.

Well, I feel that I make my
fair contribution to charity...

and still have time
to take care of our home.

That must explain why you
look so tired and drawn.

Tired and drawn?

Samantha, I'm going to arrange
for you to meet Mrs. Otis.

Now, it wouldn't do for her to think
Darrin couldn't afford a maid, would it?

Mrs. Stephens,

I don't know why
I've been fighting you.

We definitely need a maid.
Definitely.

I'll start to work on it
next week.

Now that your decision's
made, why wait?

After we talked this morning, I
phoned the employment agency...

and asked them to send over
a few prospects this afternoon.

- You're kidding!
- I knew you'd be pleased.

Oh, that
must be the first applicant.

Now the most important thing
about hiring anybody...

is to establish immediately
who is working for whom.

- Oh.
- And make it clear that the job is no snap.

She will cook, clean, do
the laundry and the ironing...

and help take care
of Tabitha.

She'll have Thursdays off and
every other Sunday afternoon.

I-I'll be in the
kitchen. I don't want to interfere.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon. I'm from the employment
agency. Are you Mrs. Stephens?

Yes. First--

First I want to make it clear
that this job is no snap.

You'll have to do the cooking
and the cleaning and, uh--

Well, now, there are a few
more things we ought to discuss.

That's right. I have to have every
weekend and Wednesday afternoon off.

Well, I-- I can't possibly get
breakfast ready before 9:00,

and I'll serve dinner
no later than 7:00.

Of course you have
an automatic dishwasher,

garbage disposal,
washing machine.

- Oh, yes.
- All right. I'll take the job.

Thank you. By the way,
what is your name?

- Mrs. Harper.
- What shall I call you?

- Mrs. Harper.
- Oh.

I think I'll take a look upstairs
to see what I've gotten into.

Well, now, I wish you wouldn't go
upstairs. You see, the baby's still--

- A baby!
- Well, she isn't very big. She's only--

Mrs. Stephens, you have
flunked this interview.

Good. I think.

- How did you do?
- I bombed out.

Oh, here we go again.

I'll stay this time.
Maybe I can help.

- Yes?
- Mrs. Stephens?

- Yes.
- I'm Amelia.

The agency sent me.

They said you were looking
for a full-time, live-in maid.

I just love being
a full-time, live-in maid.

I find it very rewarding.

Well, uh, you may be just
the one we're looking for.

Come in.
Thank you.

My, what a lovely
home you have.

Well, we like it.
This is Amelia.

Amelia, this is my
mother-in-law, Mrs. Stephens.

Hello, Amelia.
How do you do?

- Won't you sit down?
- Oh, thank you.

My, this is
a comfortable chair.

Amelia, I'm going to be
honest with you.

There-There are a few
disadvantages to this job.

Mrs. Stephens, my philosophy
has always been...

that nothing is ideal,
nobody is perfect,

there are flies
in the best of ointments.

Those are the little crosses
that one learns to bear.

That's a perfectly marvelous
philosophy, Amelia.

- Don't you agree, Samantha?
- Well, yes, of course.

But to get back
to the disadvantages.

There's a four-year-old child.
She's very lively.

You no sooner straighten up after her,
then she's into something else again.

- That's children for you,
- bless them.

Mrs. Stephens, would you mind
getting us some more cookies?

Of course.

What happened to the cookies
that were, uh--

- Good cookies go fast.
- Oh, yes.

Well, I'm delighted to help in
any way a mother-in-law can.

Another problem we have is
the irregularity of our meals.

You see, my husband
is in advertising.

We entertain a lot
and keep peculiar hours.

Often you'd be asked to fix dinner
for 12 in less than an hour's notice.

Mrs. Stephens,
you need say no more.

Oh, well, I'm sorry
it didn't work out.

Oh, but it will
work out beautifully.

Your household is the kind of
challenge I find very rewarding.

It is? My things
are out in the car.

I can start taking care of you
and your little family right away.

Tabitha, you and I are going to have
lots of rewarding times together.

Do you want to see
my airplane fly?

Oh, yes, indeed I do.

Good gracious.
That's incredible!

I've never seen anything
like that in all my born days.

My husband made it.

He-He won a paper airplane
contest when he was a little boy.

He was 23.

And that plane couldn't fly
anything like this one.

Gracious!

Oh! I'd better
get dinner started.

I'll show Amelia around the kitchen
while you're dressing Tabitha.

It's so rewarding to have
such a helpful mother-in-law.

You have no idea.

I know it's been
a lot of work, Amelia,

but it's my son's
favorite meal.

Did you know that,
Samantha?

Uh, yes, Mrs. Stephens.

I believe you've mentioned it
once or twice.

- Where's Tabitha?
- She's playing out back.

I'll set the table.

Have you mastered hollandaise
sauce yet, Samantha?

I'm afraid not. That recipe you
gave me always seems to curdle.

- Oh, hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, honey.

Darrin! I had no idea
it was so late.

I must be off, dear.

I wouldn't want to horn in
on Sam's little surprise.

- What surprise?
- Oh, you'll see.

Bye, dear.

Good-bye, dear.
I'll let myself out.

What surprise?

Well, it's really
your mother's surprise.

And it's not little.
It weighs about 140 pounds.

- What does?
- Our new maid.

- New maid!
- Shh.

How come we have a maid?

Because your mother
can be very persuasive.

- But, honey, you know--
- Come on.

- Sam--
- Shh.

Honey, you know we can't have
a maid with all the hocus-pocus

I know. I'll tell her first thing in
the morning that things didn't work out.

- How about telling her tonight?
- Well, all right.

We'll tell her
first thing after dinner.

We'll make up some
excuse to let her go,

give her a good
recommendation,

two weeks' salary
and a fond farewell.

How about one week's salary
and two fond farewells?

Mmm. This baked Alaska
is delicious.

How about that asparagus
with hollandaise?

And how about
that shepherd's pie?

And I was gonna give you
plain old hamburger.

Well--

Well what?

You better go in
and fire Amelia.

Me? You fire her.

That's your job.

Darrin, your mother
got us into it.

It's up to you
to get us out of it.

I wish I could find
an argument for that.

Be gentle.

Amelia, may I have
a word with you?

Of course, Mr. Stephens.

We haven't had much
of a chance for a chat.

You're a very lucky man,
Mr. Stephens.

- Oh?
- Tabitha is the most adorable child I've ever seen.

Pretty and unspoiled. And if
you don't mind my saying so,

she looks quite a bit
like her father.

- Thank you.
- And your wife-- She's just as sweet as she can be.

- Thank you.
- And I can't thank you enough...

for making it possible for me
to be part of this happy home.

- Thank you.
- Oh, but I'm keeping you...

from whatever it was you
wanted to speak to me about.

- Uh, it's just that, uh--
- Yes, sir?

The dinner
was delicious, Amelia.

Well?

I can't do it.
She loves it here.

I'll see what I can do.

Be gentle.

♪ Be it ever so humble

♪ There's no place like home

♪ ♪

Well?

Now she's singing.
"Home Sweet Home."

- Sam, there's only one thing to do.
- Huh?

First thing tomorrow
morning, we'll fire her.

After I leave
for the office.

Now.

Now then, what problem has
that brute saddled you with?

Through no fault of Darrin's,
we have a maid.

Whatever for?

Oh, to do the housework and cook
the meals and things like that.

Samantha, you mean to say
that you're paying someone...

to do what you could do
with a snap of your fingers?

Oh, how utterly,
utterly, mortal.

- It was Mrs. Stephens's idea.
- Oh.

Oh, so Durwood's mommy
wanted you to have a maid.

Oh, how sweet.

Mother, you're not helping.

What I have to do is
find a way to get rid of her.

Oh, Samantha, you've been living
this humdrum life too long.

Simply turn the creature into
a toad and put her out back.

Mother, I would like
a constructive suggestion.

- How about a destructive one?
- What did you have in mind?

Ah, ah, ah.

This.

One look at this shambles, and
that will be the end of your maid.

Mother, you're a genius.

A bit overdone, perhaps,
but a genius.

Well, if you think
that shows talent,

wait till you see
the kitchen.

Oh, I'll take
your word for it.

Come on.
Let's go upstairs.

I don't want to be around
when Amelia gets home.

Good gracious!

Oh, Leslie, I just know you're
going to adore Samantha.

We'll see. Charming
little cottage, isn't it?

Charming.

Good gracious.

I've certainly got
my day's work cut out for me.

- Oh, good morning, Mrs. Stephens.
- Good morning, Amelia. Is--

- What happened?
- I don't know, ma'am.

I'm sure there's
a good explanation.

I'm sure.

Amelia, I'm terribly
sorry about the mess.

Mother and Tabitha
were playing.

They play rough.

They, uh, fooled around
a little in the kitchen too.

[Amelia] I noticed.

[Amelia] I think I'd
better get started in there.

But don't you worry
about a thing, Mrs. Stephens.

I believe in children
having free expression.

Oh! Well, Mrs. Stephens.

Samantha,
this is Leslie Otis.

How do you do? You'll
have to excuse the house.

Must have been
quite a party.

Uh, we don't do
that kind of thing very often.

It's just that our maid gets
nervous if there's not a lot to do.

You mean you have a maid who doesn't
complain about things like this?

Oh, no, not at all! She just
loves rewarding challenges.

Well, if you have a maid who feels
that this is a rewarding challenge,

she's worth
a king's ransom.

Of course, it wouldn't do
to tell her that.

I don't suppose
she has a twin.

No. No, no.
Amelia is one of a kind.

She'll have this place
cleaned up in no time.

So I insist that
the two of you stay for lunch.

She's an excellent cook, along
with all of her other talents.

Oh, Samantha, I don't think we
ought to trouble you at this time--

Oh, no, no, no. It's no
trouble at all. Now come on.

You just make yourselves
at home in the den,

and, uh, I'll talk
to Amelia about lunch.

If I believe what's happening,
I must be getting senile.

Oh.

Perhaps, on the other hand, I'm getting
younger and a little more lively.

Amelia, I'd like to speak
to you about lunch for three.

- Are you all right, Amelia?
- No.

Yes. I always say, when things are
going well, don't ask questions.

I always say
that too. Now about lunch--

Excuse me. Before we get
into that, may I say something?

Of course, Amelia.

Y-You just speak up and tell
me whatever's on your mind.

Mrs. Stephens, I've never been as
happy in my entire career as a maid,

and I'm looking forward
to a long,

perhaps even permanent,
relationship...

with you
and your little family.

Oh, my.
That is splendid news.

Amelia, that was a
perfectly delicious luncheon.

Thank you,
Mrs. Stephens.

I just can't believe what
you were able to accomplish

in less than half an hour

Well, I just simply
can't believe it.

There's something very
inspiring about working here.

Well, thank you, Amelia.

- We'll have our coffee in the living room.
- Yes, ma'am.

Shall we?

Um, pardon me. Is that the
way I go to powder my nose?

Yes. Into the den
and to your left.

Oh, if you'll excuse me.
Certainly.

Mrs. Otis.

Amelia, I'm not one
for beating about the bush.

How would you like to come
to work for Mrs. Endicott Otis?

Leslie likes you, Samantha. I'm
perceptive about those things.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, I forgot to speak to Amelia
about the roast for dinner.

I'll be right back.

Amelia, whatever
Mrs. Stephens is paying you,

I'll pay you half again
as much.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Otis,

but I find working at
the Stephens's very rewarding.

What about the prestige
of working for us?

Why, you'd be queen
of the supermarket.

Oh, you're very kind,
Mrs. Otis,

but I wouldn't find prestige
as rewarding as my life here.

Well, certainly you
could use the extra money.

Yes, I am sending
my nephew through college.

Would you find double your
present salary more rewarding?

Oh, Mrs. Otis,
I don't see how I can--

How I can possibly turn
down such a generous offer.