All language subtitles for Bewitched.S05E06.Mirror.Mirror.on.the.Wall.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track6_[eng]

How long have you been
standing there, honey?

I came in around
the crow's-feet.

Did I miss anything?

Just checking to see how the old
boy's holding up under the years.

And how is the old boy
holding up?

Just great,

except for a receding hairline,

a double chin
and a trace of a pot.

Oh, sweetheart.
On you, it looks good.

Sam, the key today
is youth.

Eighty percent of the accounts
that McMann and Tate handle

are designed to appeal
to people under 30.

Well, you appeal
to people under 30.

Tabitha adores you.

Honey, I'm not kidding.
I've got to get with it.

If you're over 30, the youth
of today doesn't trust you.

But, Darrin, in advertising,
it's talent that counts,

and that's you at any age.

Honey, you just
don't understand.

Your problem
is that you love me.

That's not my problem.

That's my pleasure.

Well.

Isn't that sweet.

Making up after a fight?

Endora, don't you ever knock?

Hmm.

We're not home.

Fortunately for you,
I don't offend easily.

Let me try a little harder.

I'd appreciate it if
when I got home tonight,

you're not here!

Sweetheart, uh, you're
gonna be late for work.

Now remember, you're
just as young as you feel.

Right.

Oh, I see Durwood
is his usual charming self.

It's nothing.

Just a little concerned
about creeping middle age.

Perfectly natural.

Perfectly vain
is what it is.

Vain? Huh!

Darrin hasn't a vain
bone in his body.

Well, I admit he has
nothing to be vain about,

but that doesn't stop him.

Mortals are the vainest
creatures in the world.

Darrin is the exception

and furthermore...
[Tabitha] Mommy. Mommy!

Coming, Tabitha!

Furthermore will have to wait.

Tabitha and I are
going to the park.

Oh?

Oh, Samantha, you're so blind

when it comes to that
mortal nothing.

Not a vain bone
in his body, eh?

We'll see about that.

Not a vain bone
in your body, eh?

Vanish all self-control,

and now we will see...

just how vain
you mortals can be.

Let's go, gorgeous!

Shut up!

What are you waiting for?
A fire?

That's, uh, 93 years
of our history. Mm.

I, uh, I believe you,
uh, missed a page. Yes.

Oh, did I?

Here we are. Page 11.

Oh, yes.

The Pharmaceutical
Gold Seal Award,1944.

Mmm. Very impressive.

Hascomb Drug Company won that for
its licorice-flavored liver pills.

Sounds delicious.

You know, Tate,

this, uh, tanning lotion product
of ours is a new departure.

Until now, we've made
nothing but pills.

Frankly, I'm a little worried
about branching out.

Oh, relax, Mr. Hascomb.

Our specialty is
launching new products.

I hope so.

But still, if it were a pill,
I'd feel a lot more comfortable.

Here, have one.

What for?

Whatever ails you.

You name it, Hascomb's
got the pill for it.

Now, the red one's for tension,

the white's for indigestion,

and the pink's
for neuritis and neuralgia.

They're so tempting. It's a
shame I'm feeling so well.

Tate, Sunspot Tanning Lotion
was not my idea.

I was against it
right from the beginning.

It was my wife who kept
insisting we try something new.

Impossible woman,

constantly interfering.

Let me put you at ease.

We at McMann
and Tate plan to handle

Sunspot Tanning Lotion
with the same dignity

that your pills have enjoyed
all these years.

Good. Good.

No flashy campaign for me.

I'm a conservative man.

I run a conservative
business in spite of my wife.

And that's the way
it's going to stay.

Mr. Hascomb, put your faith
in Darrin Stephens.

If there's one man
who respects the old,

the established,
the tried and true,

it's Darrin.

I'm sorry I'm late,
but I passed this haberdasher's

and I just couldn't
resist it.

Uh, Darrin, this is Mr. Hascomb
of Hascomb Drug Company.

You know, I just
thought of something.

Already? Oh, this man's
got a mind like a steel trap.

Let's hear it, Darrin.

There's no mirror in this room.

The conservative,
93-year-old company

with a nice, solid,
conservative image.

Young man,
what are you wearing?

Love beads.

They go all the way
back to ancient Egypt.

The high priests
used to wear them.

High priests. You can't get
more conservative than that.

Cigarette, anyone?

Stephens, I hope you understand.

We want a mature, conservative
campaign for our sun tan lotion.

But the mature,
conservative consumer

doesn't hang around the beaches.
The young people do.

Uh, Mr. Hascomb, uh, which one
of those pills was for tension?

The red ones.

Let's see that.

My, what an interesting box.

Darrin, getting back to
Sunspot Tanning Lotion.

Frankly, I don't think
Mr. Stephens is the man for us.

Uh, Mr. Hascomb, as one
conservative to another,

let's reserve judgment, huh,

uh, at least until
this afternoon?

H-How about cocktails?

I don't know.
I just don't know.

I'm thirsty already.

- Shall we say 5:00...
- Well...

- Seafarer's Lounge?
- Well...

Well, it-it'll give us time
for a little cautious thinking.

All right. Until 5:00,
then. Good-bye, Tate.

[Larry] See you at 5:00.

Darrin, what the devil
are you doing?

This wood is marvelous.

I can see myself
perfectly in it.

What kind of polish
do you use?

I must get some.

Hascomb drops a $500,000
account right in our laps.

No sweat,
simple campaign.

You almost blow it and all you
can do is stand there and smile.

I'll have you know these beads
are very much in fashion.

Those beads
are for the birds.

Exactly. The birds have
the right idea.

Take the peacock,
for example.

The males have all
the brightly colored feathers,

while the females
are blah.

Now you listen to me,
Cock Robin,

when you show
up for that meeting,

you'd better be plucked.

You hear me?
Plucked!

[Darrin] Honey! Honey, open up!

Well, hi, sweetheart.

Wh-What are you
doing home so early?

Did Larry give you
the afternoon off?

I have a cocktail date at 5:00
with a very important client.

I came home to change.

Wait'll you see
the clothes I bought.

I look magnificent
in them.

Uh, sh-shouldn't I be
the one to tell you that?

You will, darling.
You will.

What do you think?

I think if your client is
a rock and roll singer,

you've got it made.

As a matter of fact,
he's an old conservative

who never got beyond the minuet.

Then why are you
dressed like that?

You'll lose the account.

Sam, man cannot live
by accounts alone.

I've got to be me.

Young, dashing, with it.

This isn't you.

This is...

Mother!

Of course.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

All I know is, I'm late.

[Sam] Oh, Darrin. Darrin, please.

Uh, just... just wait a minute.

I'm trying to tell
you something.

Mother must have zapped
a vanity spell on you.

That's... That's why
you're behaving this way.

What way?

Vain, Darrin.

An excessive or undue pride
in one's appearance, vain.

Just because
I appreciate beauty?

Darrin, believe me.

You are a victim
of mother's witchcraft.

Nonsense.
Now will you please step aside?

You're blocking my view.

No! I won't step aside,

not until you change your
clothes for that meeting.

Then you leave me
no choice.

Good.

I'll use the mirror
in the car.

Oh, Mother.

Of all the mean,
low-down, spiteful...

Mother, I demand that
you pop in here this instant

and zap that spell off Darrin.

Tate, my wife the nag

calls me a 19th-century man.

And you know
what I tell her?

Uh, no, but I'd love to.

I tell her: What's so hot
about the 20th century?

That's very clever.

And if my wife
can't change me,

what makes Stephens
think he can?

He doesn't want to change you.
Believe me, he won't even try.

He'll adjust to your image.

If there's one thing about
Darrin, he's adjustable.

If there's another thing
about him, he's late.

May I have one of those?

What color?

A nice assortment
would be fine.

Mother!

Oh... Well, all right.

If you won't unzap that spell,

the least I can do
is try to save that meeting.

Roses and posies
and daisies and weeds,

come flower power,
rip off his beads.

Now needle and thread
and wool and all those,

weave Darrin into
his regular clothes.

Ah, there he is
and looking just fine.

Mr. Hascomb, you're about to
meet the real Darrin Stephens.

Sam did this.

She stole the clothes
right off my back.

Well, never mind.

You're beautiful anyway.

Ohh!

[Darrin] Sam!

Sam!

Sam, what have you got
all over you?

What have you got
all over you?

Never mind my clothes.

Sam, you're a mess.

I was mixing
some cake batter

when I was startled by
the roar of a bull moose.

What's your excuse?

I'm sorry
I startled you.

Why don't you just
zap it away,

like you did with my clothes
at the restaurant.

Thank you.
I will.

Now.

Oh, no, you don't!
Not again.

Darrin, I-I did it
for your own good.

I-I couldn't let you meet a
conservative client dressed like a...

like a, uh...
Go ahead, say it.

Like an attractive,
desirable youth.

That's hardly what
I was going to say.

We've got to rush. We're
expected at Larry's in an hour.

Hey, hold-hold it. Wh-What's
this about Larry's in an hour?

We postponed the meeting
with Hascomb until tonight.

He and his wife
are going to be there.

If anything goes wrong this time,
we'll really lose the account.

I can't wait to see myself
in my new evening jacket.

I can.

Darrin, the door's locked.

I know. I locked it.

Well, unlock it.

Not yet. I'll call you
when I'm ready.

Sweetheart, I have to
get dressed for dinner too.

So either open up or... or slip
my clothes under the door.

Here I come, ready or not.

I'm not ready.

Smashing, isn't it?

Blinding is the word.

It's the latest thing from Rome.

Fourteen-karat gold lame.

Fourteen karat?

Well, it must have
cost a fortune.

It did.
But I'm worth it.

Well, if you're worth it,

I'm worth it too.

Why should you be
the only one who glitters?

How dare you use
witchcraft to dress.

If you can dare gold lame,
I can dare anything.

I tell you, Sam.
That dress will have to go.

It's just... too much.

Too much dress?
Oh, well, uh, I can fix that.

More witchcraft?

Yes, but less dress.

Sam, get rid of that dress.

Mm, I'll change
if you'll change.

But if you're gonna
shimmer in gold,

I'm gonna shimmer in silver.

This is blackmail.

It sure is.

All right, Sam,
you win this time,

but I won't forget this.

Well, that's all
right, sweetheart.

I'll take my chances.

Guess I'll just have
to wear my old tuxedo

with the same old...

Sam, wait! Don't move!
Huh?

Look at that!

When you stand in a
certain light, I can see myself

all over your dress.

It-It's like a hall of mirrors.

I've never known
such happiness.

Oh, Mrs. Tate, you should have
seen Stephens fall into that pool.

It was like a silent-picture
routine.

You should have
liked that, dear.

After all, silent pictures
are old-fashioned.

Just your speed.

Uh, another hors d'oeuvre,
Mrs. Hascomb?

Oh, why not?

Emily, that's your sixth.

Who's counting?

I am. Tate, Stephens
is late, as usual.

I wonder what
he fell into this time.

Oh, I'm sure he's on his way.

I hope he gets here before my
wife eats herself into a stupor.

That must be them.

Uh, uh, uh.

It's not them.

Of course it's us.

It's tomorrow night.
The dinner's tomorrow night.

Go away!

Well, I'm sure that
was Darrin's voice.

Is that you, Darrin?
Samantha?

Oh, uh, hi, Louise.

Louise.

It is you, isn't it?

What magnificent creatures.

Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Hascomb,

this is Darrin
and Samantha Stephens.

Of course, uh, Mr. Hascomb
knows Darrin already.

Tate, I was
under the impression

this was to be
a business dinner,

not a love-in.

Emily, get your things.

Oh, relax, Whitney.

I can see this is
gonna be a fun party.

And I think it could
use some champagne.

Excuse me.

Where did you get that dress?

It's a heavenly creation.

How did you know?

Hascomb, do you happen to have any
of those little red pills on you?

Emily, get your things.

Mr. Hascomb, let's
not act in haste...

Tate, if you think
I'm going to put the solid,

conservative public image

of Hascomb Drugs
into the hands of this...

middle-aged hippie,
you're crazy.

Oh, uh, Mr. Hascomb, I'm
very sorry to hear you say that.

Well, yes.

I have such respect
for all of your products,

but they don't seem to
get to the right people.

A pill. My kingdom
for a little red pill.

I've always told Whitney

he should try to reach
the younger set.

Particularly with suntan lotion.

After all, the
younger the customer,

the smaller
the bathing suit.

And the smaller
the bathing suit,

the more skin that
needs suntan lotion.

[Emily] They're right,
you know, Whitney.

Oh, you're definitely
not with it.

I've pointed that out
a number of times.

Emily, shut up and eat.

Uh, Mr. Hascomb, you
really should listen to Darrin.

He has his finger
on the pulse of today.

And his foot on the
unemployment line of tomorrow.

Emily, for the last time,
get your things.

Not yet, darling.

Not until you hand over the
entire Hascomb Drug account

to this darling young man.

I think I'm witnessing
a miracle.

You're out of your mind.

Possibly. But I'm also
the major stockholder

in the Hascomb Drug Company.

You gave me that gift
yourself, you know, darling?

That wasn't a gift.
That was a tax dodge.

Well, no matter.

Fifty-one percent
is 51%.

And I say we take the
Hascomb image out of mothballs.

And into today's scene.

Emily, I warn you.

And I also say we take you
out of mothballs.

Mr. Stephens,
may I borrow your beads?

Well I don't know.

I don't like to break
up my ensemble.

Oh, thank you.

There, Whitney. You already
look 10 years younger.

Now, about your hair.

I could teach him to tease it.
It does wonders.

Honestly, Larry, this is what
Darrin had in mind all the time.

You mean, you two dressed this
way just to convince Hascomb

to go after the young market?

Absolutely.

Darrin knew he had to
do something dramatic.

Well, I've certainly
got to hand it to him.

And all this time,
I thought...

Oh, I thought it was
just vanity.

Darrin, vain?

Why, he hasn't a vain bone
in his body.

Well, come on, everyone,
how about a toast?

- Ohh.
- Mmm. Thank you.

To youth.

To the new look
in Hascomb products.

To the good old days.

To the better new days.

To me.

All right, Samantha,
I will take the oath.

As long as the stars
remain in the sky,

as long as the water
remains in the well,

I promise I will never again

zap on Durwood
another spell.

Now, I should like
a cup of cafe au lait.

Oh, no.
Not so fast.

First, I want
the witch's honor sign.

Oh, really, Samantha.

Don't you think you're carrying
this thing a bit too far?

After all,
I am your mother.

Why do you only remember that
when it's convenient to you?

The witch's honor sign,
please.

Oh, all right.

Witch's honor.

That's better.

[Darrin] Sweetheart, you're
not going to believe this,

but Larry just called and he...

What are you doing
in those clothes?

Never mind that. What
is she doing in my house?

I swear, Samantha.

It was not I who
did it this time.

As I was about to tell you,
Larry just called to say

that we've got a whole slew
of new clients...

because of the way we handled
the Hascomb account.

And he insists
that I dress the part.

I feel ridiculous.

Oh, well, now, never mind,
sweetheart. You look divine.

No, I don't.
I look like a jackass.

That can be arranged.
Mother!

Well, it's the thought
that counts.