All language subtitles for Bewitched.S04E24.How.Green.Was.My.Grass.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Sweetheart... I'm starting
the pancakes.

[Darrin] Be right there.

Oh...
Tabatha.

I hate to smother
another creative urge,

but, ew...

Oatmeal is for eating,
not for finger painting.

Just a minute.
Ew.

Uh, could you wait
a minute, please?

There's someone
at the door.

Now remember, we're going
to Dr. McDonald's.

And he's gonna weigh you.
So put some of that food inside.

Gas company.

I'm just gonna check
the meter out here.

Oh, fine.

Always like to inform
people of my presence.

Don't want to be taken
for a prowler.

Yeah, no.
That's a good idea.

If I'm gonna get shot,
I want it to be

for a good reason.

Yes, uh, could you
excuse me?

I have someone
on the phone.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

Can you hang on for
just a moment, please?

Eat.

[Darrin's voice] Who was that on the phone?

I don't know yet.

Would you like to have
your lawn mowed, ma'am?

Well, uh...

Darrin!
There's a boy here.

Do you want
the lawn mowed?

I'm very cheap.

Tell him no thanks.
It has to be reseeded.

I can reseed it,
if you tell me how.

If I knew how,
I'd do it myself.

Got something burning?

The pancakes.

Sam!

What was that
with the pancakes?

Why, um--

Oh, uh,
Darrin,

I simply have to
answer that phone.

Hello?

I'm sorry to have kept
you waiting.

Is this what?

The Institute
for Domestic Harmony?

Boy, have you got

a wrong number.

Millions of wives
all over the country

manage to cope with pancakes
in a normal way.

Why can't you?

I told you.

I didn't want them
to burn.

I see. You wanted me
to burn instead.

All right.
All right.

Next time I won't
answer the phone,

and anyone who comes
to the door can go hang.

You've always got
some excuse, haven't you?

Darrin, I have to
get Tabatha ready

to go to the doctor.

Now, I said I'm sorry.

What more can I do?

You can live up
to your promise.

I try.

Not hard enough.

Darrin... why don't you
go to work?

I'll go when
I'm good and ready,

which, fortunately
for both of us,

is right now.

Okay.

Now, remember... when we get
to Dr. McDonald's office,

it's one balloon and
one lollipop, okay?

Two balloons and two lollipops.

How about no balloons
and no lollipops?

One balloon and one lollipop.

Thought there was supposed
to be somebody home here.

Search me.

You sure this is
the right place?

One-six-two.

One-six-two.

Well, let's get started.

They'll probably show up
before we leave.

I told you to go
at the doctor's.

I don't get it.

They were supposed to
be here hours ago.

I hope they got lost.

Are you gonna
start that again?

Sue me. I like
real grass.

I'm telling you
this stuff looks real.

It even feels real.

Only you don't
have to water it,

weed it or mow it.

I happen to like
the way grass smells

when it's freshly mowed.

Well, you wouldn't
if you had to mow it.

Hi, Mr. Stephens.

That's a groovy-looking
lawn you got there.

Thanks.

It is?

Wait till
your Daddy hears

what a good report
we got from the doctor.

He's going to be very proud
of his little girl.

Big girl.

Well, yeah,
that's right.

You did grow
three-eighths of an inch.

Now, here.
Take one sip for Mommy.

And one sip
for Daddy.

Oh, Sam!

I know that tone.

Better make it
two sips for Daddy.

You're home early,
sweetheart.

Sam, if you're looking
for an argument,

I'm too tired.
Pardon?

I'll admit I went
a little bit overboard

about the pancakes this morning.

But that's still no reason
to rub my nose in it.

In the pancakes?

No, in your witchcraft.

Now, I'm even willing to believe

that you were trying
to save me some money.

But, I would like it
clearly understood

that either I can
afford something or I can't.

If I can't, I can't.

Well, uh, that certainly
makes sense.

But nothing else
you're saying does.

What on earth are you
talking about?

Mm.

That.

Where did that
come from?

Sam, please. Cut it out.

You mean, you think
I did this?

No. I think thousands
of elves arrived,

each with a blade
of grass, and planted it.

Very funny.

Well, this isn't.

Darrin, I had nothing
to do with it.

Then who did?

This isn't even
real grass.

That only proves
that even a witch

isn't perfect.

Ugh!

One of us has to be
big about this.

Now, I'll admit I was too hard
on you this morning

If you admit you were
trying to get back at me

by zapping in
that lawn.

Pass the lamb chops,
please.

Afraid I'll get sore?
I promise I won't.

The lamb chops, please.

You're entitled to
an emotional upset,

just like any
other woman in the world.

Af--

Another act of defiance, huh?

Why couldn't you
just ask me to pass it?

What's the difference?

I might as well be hung
for a lamb chop as a lawn.

Sam, believe me,

you'll sleep
much better

if you'll just admit it
once and for all.

Darrin... I would like
to make a statement.

You mean, you're ready
to tell the truth?

Yes.
Well, I'm listening.

The truth is, I am up to here
with that stupid grass.

I would like desperately

not to hear
another word about it.

And I would like
to go to sleep.

I see.

Okay, I won't say
anything more.

Thank you.

Except for this.

Even if you won't admit it...
I forgive you.

That's very generous.

But if it's all
the same to you,

I do not want to be forgiven
for something I didn't do.

And I am going to bed.

Will you take care
of one thing first?

Get rid of it.

All right.

Thunder, Dunder
Seven-day wonder

Look below
And see this blunder

Spirits all who
Roam the night

Take this greenery
From my sight

See.

Don't you feel better
now that you've admitted it?

Sorehead.

Thanks.

Hate to bother you
so early, but, uh,

what happened to it?

I, uh--

What?

Our grass.

Grass?

Uh, who, uh--
Who are you?

Uh, that's--
That's who we are.

Artificial grass?

Like he never
heard of it.

That turf we
laid down yesterday

is worth
2,000 bucks.

What'd you do
with it?

Uh, well, uh, let me, um--

Uh, who told you
to put it, uh--

Why did you deliver it here?

Because you've got the wrong
number on your house is why.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes, indeedy.

Well, uh...

Naturally, uh,
you're surprised.

Uh, frankly, so am I.

You see, I thought that
my wife put that--

Uh, that is, when we
realized it was a mistake,

uh, my wife
took it away.

Your wife?

Your wife picked up 1,500
square feet of grass?

Well, not her,
uh, personally.

Naturally, she had,
uh, help.

But you don't care
about that.

You just want your
grass back, right?

That's right.

I'll see that you
get your grass back.

You know, you're not
making too much sense.

Oh, he is to me.

He's got it stashed somewhere
and he's gonna sell it.

That's ridiculous.

You, uh, check with me later,
and I'll give you

further details.

Who was that
at the door?

Uh, heh,
uh, wrong number.

What?

I mean, wrong address.

Uh, Sam, I've been thinking.

Last night I jumped to
a conclusion.

I was wrong.
I'm sorry.

Who was at the door?

Oh, uh, j-just a couple
of men looking for, uh...

Sam, the truth is, that grass
was put in by mistake.

It's worth $2,000, and
I'm responsible for it.

I see.

Sam, they're coming back.

They expect to find
that grass.

You realize, of course,

that I'll have to use
witchcraft to get it back.

Of course.

And suddenly,
that doesn't bother you?

Sure, it does.
But what else can I do?

I don't know.

Why can't you just cope
with the situation,

like any other
mortal husband.

Because your average
mortal husband

doesn't have a wife
who can remove a whole lawn.

And she doesn't have a husband
who is inconsistent.

Sam, this is no time
to start an argument.

I see.

When would be
the best time?

Are you going
to cooperate or not?

I haven't
made up my mind.

The other alternative
is to pay the $2,000,

and you can cut down on
your household expenses.

I Just made up my mind.

Oh, Sam.

Oh, thank you.

And I'll make it up to you.
I promise.

I'll even be nice
to your mother.

I may get ill,
but I'll do it.

You can begin by
not insulting her.

I didn't insult
the old warhorse.

It's okay.
Go on, go on.

Hallow, fallow, rooster's cry
As the sun climbs in the sky

Spirit of light
Bring back the lawn

That these mortal
fools did spawn.

What, uh--
What's wrong?

I don't know.

Are you sure you've got
the right spell?

Positive.

Someone must be
counteracting it.

But who?

"Let the dumb cluck
bail himself out."

Signed, the Old Warhorse.

Oh, Darrin.

Well... that's the last time
I try to be nice to her.

Sam, the only way
I got rid of those guys

was by telling them
I'd check with my wife.

What do I tell them
the next time?

My wife is checking
with her mother?

Sweetheart,
I'm sorry.

But you shouldn't have
offended her.

Now, if she doesn't
take off that counter spell,

I can't do anything
about the lawn.

You see who it is.

I'll keep trying
to contact Mother.

My name's MacLane.
I live up the street.

Oh, and
my name's--

I know. I know.

What did you do
with my grass?

Oh. Um...

You're the one who--
Yeah.

They told me they
installed it here by mistake.

And why have you got
my numbers on your house?

Oh, uh, well,
they're not the same.

It's, uh, loose,
uh, see?

Funny coincidence,
isn't it?

Not to me, it isn't.

Where did it go?

Well, uh, the whole thing's
a mystery to me.

The whole thing.

But you're welcome
to look around.

I'm sure I don't
have it.

But the company told me
they delivered it here.

Now, wait a minute.

Before you go making
allegations,

I think you better see
a lawyer, and furthermore--

Hey, Mr. Stephens.

What happened to
that beautiful green lawn

you had yesterday?

Oh, you better tell me what
happened to my lawn, buddy.

N-now, wait.

Uh, don't do anything that
you'll regret later on.

Uh, things like this are never
solved by physical force.

I think I should
warn you

that I fought as
a middleweight in the navy.

And I make it a rule
never to fight out of my class.

Good grief.

Well, you're gonna have
to change your rule,

because I'm gonna bust you
right in the bazoo.

Ow!

Just you wait, boy.

I'm not only going to
get you for theft,

I'm gonna sue you
for assault and battery.

Sweetheart,
are you all right?

Yes. And thanks, Sam.

You're a great referee.

Any luck with your mother?

Oh, she's just
being obstinate.

What are we
gonna do?

I was thinking about that,
between punches.

We've got to try
something drastic.

Come on.

Darrin, I'm not sure
this makes sense.

Why not?

Your mother's counter spell
only applies to our lawn.

It won't stop you from putting
that artificial grass

where it was supposed to go
in the first place.

It's simple logic.

Yeah, but how are you
going to explain

how it got there?
That's the best part.

I won't.
That big ox will.

Okay.
Let her rip.

Hallow, fallow, rooster's cry
As the sun climbs in the sky

And the spirits
of the day are seen

Change this lawn
To verdant green.

You see? It worked.
It worked.

I'm off the hook.

Pretty good job,
huh?

It's beautiful.

This artificial grass
is the greatest.

Maybe we should
get some for our lawn.

Sam.

Well, I meant
the regular way.

You know
something?

If I didn't know
it was artificial,

I would be
willing to bet--

Sam.
Huh?

It is real grass.

What?

Oh my goodness.

Maybe you used
the wrong spell?

Or, maybe I can't produce
artificial grass,

only the real thing.

What kind of sense
does that make?

Quick,
before somebody--

Elvira!

We've got our lawn.
Come here, quick.

Elvira,
where are you?

I'm coming.
I'm coming.

When did they
put it in?

[Mr. MaclaNE] It must have been
while we were arguing.

How about that?
Is that terrific?

I told you before
and I'll tell you again.

I like real grass.

Are you gonna
stand there

and tell me that
doesn't look real?

Not to me, it doesn't.

It even feels real.

Is that clever?

They have crabgrass in it to
make it look more realistic.

It even smells like
real grass.

Here. Look at it.
Feel it.

It's your grass.
You feel it.

Boy, are you stubborn.

Quick, Sam.

While they're inside,
make some artificial grass.

I'm not sure I can.
Try?

W-well, all right.
Let me think a minute.

We may not have a minute.

I think I've
got it.

Yeah, I hope.

Philisin, Follisin
Spirits that fly

Let me give it
Another try

Replace this velvety
Carpet of green

With artificial grass
Of waxen sheen.

Huh?
Nothing happened.

Well, it's a little
hard to tell.

Ha-ha.

For your information,
this is genuine

artificial grass.

Honey, that's great.

I knew you could do it.

Now, let's get
out of here before--

Come out here and really
look at it this time.

This is even better than
the samples they showed me.

Now, now bend down
and feel it.

Well?

This feels like
real grass?

Ah, you won't
admit it, huh?

I'll only admit
one thing.

You've been drinking
too much beer.

Stubborn!
That's what you are.

I think we started
a family feud.

Sweetheart, I have news
for you.

That feud started
the day they got married.

Did I ever tell you,
you're not only talented,

but loveable?

Mm! Darrin, please,
there's a robin watching us.

So what?

Let him get his own girl.

Darrin,
this is silly.

No, it isn't.

It's the least I can do
to make up for yesterday.

Well, okay.

Um, I think I'll
pour the coffee

while I'm waiting
for the pancakes.

Ah, no, you don't.

Not in my restaurant.

I'll get it.
Uh...

[Sam] Darrin!

He's in a very
generous mood this morning.

Sweetheart...
guess who's back?

Oh, hi there.

I noticed your lawn
didn't look any better

than it did yesterday.

Don't you want me
to reseed it?

Okay, pal.
You got a deal.

Gee, thanks a lot.

I'll do a real
good job.

I got this book on
how to do it, see?

I see.

Well, I'll start
right after school.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Cute.

So are you.

That was very sweet.

Well, what's
the sense kidding?

I'm a sweetheart.

Sweetheart.
Mmm.

Mm. Now, Darrin.
Darrin, you better stop.

You'll be late for--

The pancakes!
Oh, my gosh.

Are they ruined?

I'll take a look.

How do you feel about
charcoal-broiled pancakes?

Sweetheart,
why don't you sit down

and let me
make breakfast?

Okay. Okay.

And thank you, Sam,
for letting them burn.

Don't you worry,
sweetheart.

I've learned my lesson.

I love you.