All language subtitles for Bewitched.S04E19.Snob.in.the.Grass.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

That won't do any good.

Oh, I might have known.
Why did you do that?

I wanted to ask you
a question.

Why in the name
of all that's witchly,

are you massaging
that rug?

I'm not.
I'm cleaning it.

Well, why go to all that
trouble?

Why not just:

Isn't that a simpler way
to clean a rug?

Thanks a heap.

Hello?

Oh, well,
hi, sweetheart.

Mother!
Oh.

Spoilsport.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I couldn't hear you.

There was a little
disturbance here.

Really?
How is the old war wagon?

Fine.

That's too bad.

Larry just buzzed me
and told me to cease firing

on the Webbley Food account.

So it looks like I'll be home
for dinner after all.

Oh, darling, that's wonderful.

Would you like anything special?

Yeah. See if you can get rid
of your mother.

Bye.
Bye-bye.

He's coming home.

Ohhh, whoopee!

He's coming home for dinner
for the first time this week!

And it never occurs
to you to wonder

what he's been doing
those other nights.

He's been working late

on the Webbley Food account.
They may lose it.

And you may be losing your mind,
if you believe that.

I think I'll make him
a pork loin.

Wouldn't it be much more fun

if you turned him
into a whole pig?

Oink, oink,
oink.

Wheee!
Ha-ha-ha!

No wonder there's no such thing
as Mother-in-Law's Day.

Sorry to stop you
in midstream, Darrin,

but let me give you
my thinking.

With Webbley Foods, we've already
heard the death rattle, right?

Mm-hm. So why
bust a gut to save it,

when we can replace it
with newer and fresher blood.

Namely?

I just got an inside tip

that the William J. Sommers
account is up for grabs.

And let's face it, we've got the
inside track there, Darrin boy.

Larry, just because I used to
date Sheila Sommers is no--

Date her?
You were engaged.

Larry, you're not asking me
to use that relationship

for business purposes,
are you?

I'm not? I-I--

I mean, Darrin,
you've got my all wrong.

All I'm saying is,
that if we get the account,

we know we can do a superior
job on it, right? I think so.

There isn't an agency in town
that's better equipped.

I'll go along with that.
Or more experienced.

Right.
So, all I'm saying is...

will it hurt to give
Sheila a call?

Larry, I will not use an old
romance for personal gain.

Darrin, I won't press you.

I'll just say this:

Call her.

Uh, Larry, uh,
you don't know Sheila.

She'll take this as a sign
that my marriage is buckling.

That's all she needs. She can
be awfully vindictive, you know.

So can I.

Well, uh--
Good boy.

Here. I'll dial it
for you.

I won't know what
to say to her.

Just get on the horn
and tell her

it's okay for tonight.

What's okay?

When I called Sheila,
she just happened to mention--

You called her?

How else was I gonna
talk to her?

Anyway, she and her father are
going to be at the Hearthstone,

and we're going to
run into them.

Invite them to join us
for a little drinky-poo,

then we'll chin-chin and
maybe have a little din-din.

I just told Samantha
I'd be home for din-din.

Uh, I mean, dinner.

Well, call her up and
tell her you'll be late.

And make me
the heavy.

That won't be hard.

Hello.
Uh, Sam?

Why are you
out of breath?

Oh. Uh, sweetheart,
I was just coming in

when I heard the phone ring.
Hold on a minute.

Ah.

Hi.

I got the most
beautiful pork loin.

Sam, I've got
a problem.

Oh? What is it
this time?

Well, Larry and I are trying to
line up a new client, and, uh...

we're going to take him to the
Hearthstone for a few drinks...

...and I guess I'll be
stuck for dinner too.

Oh. Well...

All right, sweetheart.
Just don't work too late.

Bye-bye.

Did anyone ever tell you
you have a suspicious mind?

No such thing.
I'm merely stating a fact.

Mother, the facts happen to be
that Darrin and Larry

are taking a prospective
client to dinner.

What's her name?

Samantha, I think you're
behaving like an ostrich.

And if you'll pull your head
out of the sand,

you'll see that I'm right.

Mother, you just
don't understand

the kind of relationship
that Darrin and I have.

It's a love that is based
on mutual trust.

And when you have that,
you don't get upset

because your husband's
working late.

Really?

We'll see.

They're not going to show.
Let's call the whole thing off.

Be patient.
Finish your drink.

I have.

Charlie, another
for my friend.

Darrin.

Sheila.
Well, well...

Ohh-mm.

Oh, it's marvy
to see you.

Well, so am I.

I mean, you know,
uh, Larry Tate.

Oh, of course.
How are you, Larry?

Couldn't be better.

Well... this is
a pleasant surprise.

Uh, Sheila...
Would you mind letting go?

Oh, now don't tell me
I'm embarrassing you?

Oh, no, no. But your pin's
open, and it's sticking me.

Oh! Sorry,
darling.

Uh, yeah.

Where-- I mean,
who are you with?

Nobody.
I'm all yours.

Oh, Daddy was supposed to
join me, but he got... hung up.

Well, as a matter of fact,
I'm hung up too.

That is, I will be
if I don't get home.

I mean, get going.

Larry...
Have fun, you two.

Let me look at you.

You know, you haven't
changed a bit.

Neither have you.

Does that mean
there's still

that same old feeling
you used to have?

My stomach? No,
that's all cleared up now.

Oh, good,
our table's ready.

Wasn't that darling
of Larry to, uh, get lost?

Oh, yes. Yes, he's
a regular sweetheart.

For the last time, no.

No, no, no.

I will not pop into
that restaurant.

Afraid of
what you'll find?

Absolutely not.

Then why won't
you go?

Because it would be the act
of a desperate woman,

which I do not happen to be,
no matter what you say.

It would also be low,
deceitful and unworthy.

Very well, if that's
the way you feel.

Definitely.

In that case, your low,
deceitful and unworthy mother

will have to
do it for you.

Mother, don't you
interfere.

That's like telling
an elephant not to forget.

Uh, food should be
here soon.

Sure is great running
into you this way.

Oh, come on. Now, you
know Larry cooked it up.

Sure is great the way
Larry cooked it up.

And don't worry about
getting together with my father.

I'm having a dinner party
tomorrow night,

and you can
see him then.

Okay?
Sure. We'd love to come.

You want to bring your wife?

Yes. Unless...

Oh, no, no.
By all means, bring her.

What did you say her
name was again? Samovar?

Samantha.

I knew it was something odd.
But it seems to fit her.

She really is...
quaint.

I wonder where
our dinner is.

Oh, I see.

It makes you feel
uncomfortable

to talk about your wife,
doesn't it?

How long have you
been married?

Four years.
Oh, you poor thing.

Well, let's talk about
something more cheerful.

Oh! Guess who
finally got married.

Shorty Richards.
No kidding.

Isn't that wild?
Yeah.

Who's Shorty Richards?
Don't you remember?

He was always falling
off his elevator shoes.

Oh, little Shorty
Richards.

He had the beautiful
cabin cruiser.

Uh-huh.

And remember
when we borrowed it

and went aground in
Setauket for a weekend?

We were marooned
for two days.

Yeah. If that food doesn't
get here pretty soon,

I'm gonna lose my...
appetite.

Here it comes.

Darrin, why don't
we see each other more often?

Well, because, Shei--
Sheila, I'm married!

Well, what does that have
to do with two good friends

getting together
once in a while?

Oh!
Watch where you're--

Good morning, sweetheart.

Uh, this has to go
to the cleaners.

I had a lot to tell
you last night,

but you'd already
gone to bed.

How is that sofa
for sleeping?

Oh, breakfast is ready.

Looks delicious.

Uh, any butter?

If not, uh,
don't bother.

You know,
if I didn't know better,

I'd think this was
last night's--

Uh, but that's a great way
to economize, Sam.

Sam. No matter what
your mother told you,

that was a business dinner,
and I didn't lie to you.

Now, I just
didn't want you to get

all worked up over nothing,
that's all.

Sam, you're getting
all worked up over nothing.

It was all
Larry's idea.

He's dying to get
Sheila's father's account

to replace
the Webbley account.

And we were supposed
to have dinner

with old man
Sommers last night,

but, uh, Sheila showed up alone.
And then Larry--

Wise guy, he.--
went off and left.

Well, I just called him, and I
told him what I thought of him.

What's more, I informed him
that you and I,

were not going to show up at
Sheila's dinner party tonight.

She invited us?

Yeah, so that Larry and I could
meet with old man Sommers.

Well, Darrin,
I don't blame you

for being annoyed
with Larry,

but do you think it's fair
to run out on him now?

In spades. I don't
like the whole thing.

I'd much rather pitch my
new concept at Webbley Foods

than subject you to any
of Sheila's little games.

Yeah, but you see, Darrin,
that's just the point.

If we don't show up,
that's an admission

that I'm afraid
to face her.

Well, actually, I think
she's rather interesting.

In a creepy
sort of way.

You're wrong.

I don't hate her
at all.

Sam, you know
that's a lie.

It is not.

But I'll admit it's not
the whole truth either.

Um... what kind
of gravy is this,

so I can tell the cleaner.

[Darrin] Honey, you ready?

Well, I-I was just trying
to figure out what to wear.

I told you
what to wear.

Sheila said
it was casual.

Casual.

Why is it I keep remembering
the last time

Sheila said it was casual...

[Samantha] Boy, this is
some fancy-looking place.

Darrin, are you sure I'm dressed
all right?

Darling, of course
you are.

Sheila said it was potluck,
very relaxed,

sitting-on-the-floor
kind of stuff.

Oh.

Darrin, darling!
Sheila.

Mmm.

Is this your little bride?

How do you do?

Oh, why, Darrin,
she's sweet.

Uh, maybe I should
have dressed--

Oh, not at all, dear.

You look, uh, sweet.

John, would you take
Mrs. Stephens'...

Sweater.

I can tell you're the type

who always dresses
so sensibly.

You know, the capable type.

Oh, Darrin, I bet she's
good at typing, cooking,

taking care of the household
accounts and playing golf.

You know, all those things
poor little me can't do at all.

Pity.

Uh, won't you come in
and meet my friends.

Oh, no, you don't,
Sheila, my dear.

Not this time.

I think this
will be casual enough.

I still think
you're wrong, honey.

Sheila definitely
said casual dress.

Well, that's what
she said the last time.

You remember
what happened.

She's not gonna
embarrass me again.

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

May I take
your coat?

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Uh, this way,
please.

Now, remember, no, uh...

Witch's honor.

Oooh.

Ooh, that little
double-crosser.

She said casual.

Well, she knew darn well
I'd expect her to lie.

Darrin, darling!

Oh.

And you're looking
lovely, Iolathe.

It's Samantha.

Oh, but I'm sure I told you
to dress casually.

Uh, yes, but... Uh,
well, we have to drop in

at a little dress-up affair
later on this evening.

Oh.
That's right.

We have to drop up
at a dress-in later.

Oh, well. Come
and meet everybody.

You all know
Darrin Stephens.

Hi, everybody.

Darrin, my boy,
it's been too long.

Good to see you,
Mr. Sommers.

And this is Darrin's darling
little wife, Samara.

Uh, Samantha.

Dick and Julia Thompson,

Hello. Ralph Martinson,
Vern and Alice Richter,

Dodie Brooks.
Hello.

Larry,
where's Louise?

She had baby-sitting
trouble.

But I thought your mother-in-law
was visiting.

That's the baby-sitter
she's having trouble with.

Larry.

The barbecue is ready,
miss.

Oh, good. Everyone
out in the garden.

I'm putting you
in my will.

Barbecue.
Mm-hm.

Oh, uh... You don't have an
extra one of those, do you?

Thank you.

I hope you don't mind
roughing it like this.

No.
Not at all.

Everything all right
up there, Santana?

It's Samantha.

Just fine.

Incidentally,
I love your hair.

Thank you.

You know, it's a much more
becoming shade

than you had before.

Well, my hairdresser's
a marvel.

Especially with problem hair.
Would you like his name?

Sheila, do you ever
see Rod Lamport?

Oh, well, you have been
out of circulation, poor boy.

Come here.

Well, anyone who knows Rod knew
that marriage wouldn't work.

I mean, she was
a nobody.

Nobody knew where she come from
or who her family was.

And, uh, after all,
she just naturally

didn't fit into our group.

She wore all the wrong clothes,
said all the wrong things,

and business-wise, she was
an anchor around his neck.

You know, so many of our
friends seem to be trapped

by that sort of woman,
if you know what I mean.

And I think you do.

Oh, um, Sampan.

Would you like
anything more?

No, thank you.

To tell you the truth,
I've had just about enough.

Shall we take our after-dinner
drinks over here?

It was a delicious dinner,
Mr. Sommers.

Well, I'm delighted.
Thank you.

I warned you, honey,
but you insisted on coming.

She really outdid herself,
didn't she?

Mm-hm.
I'll get our coats.

What are you talking
about? You can't do that.

We haven't talked
to Sommers yet.

If you want to talk to
Sommers, talk to him yourself.

But you're the one
that has the inside track.

Come on, hon. Darrin,
I'm not going to run.

Darrin, if you and Larry want to
talk to Daddy, now's the time.

I'll take care of
Samsara. Samantha.

Why not call me Sam. It
might be easier to remember.

Get a grip on yourself.

Will you let go
of me?

Sorry.

Come on.

Gentlemen, sit down.

Cigarette?

Uh, no, thank you,
Mr. Sommers.

No thanks.

Now, for heaven's sake,
let's stop talking

about people
Stan doesn't know.

Poor dear.

I don't know whether
you're aware of it,

but Darrin here has had
extensive experience

with your type
of product.

He did a top-notch job
for us on Webbley Foods.

I understand
they're leaving you.

Oh, no.
Uh, quite the reverse.

Listen, gang, I met
the most divine white hunter

from Rhodesia
at Monte's party,

and he offered to take a group
of us on safari this summer.

So if any of you want to go,
let me know.

Perhaps you and Darrin
might like to join us.

Well, I'm afraid we're pretty
well occupied for the summer.

Tell us what
you're going to do.

Something wildly
exciting, I suppose.

Oh, very.

We're going to install
new plumbing in the house.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Congratulations, my dear.

You know, you have
managed to turn

our carefree, impulsive Darrin
into a real homebody.

Incidentally, Sheila,
did you hear that the club

is going to open up
some new memberships?

No. They wouldn't dare.

Well, they have to raise
the money somehow.

Before you know it, they'll be
letting anyone into the club.

And if they do,
I'm going to resign.

I mean, what is the point of a club
if it isn't going to be exclusive?

There's so little breeding
in the world today.

Is that a fly or a bee?

I think it's
a fly, miss.

No, no. No, it's a bee.

A bee?
Well, get it off of me.

Just hold it,
miss.

Oh! Charles,
what are you doing?

I think
I got it.

Charles!

You clumsy fool!
Leave me alone!

[Sheila] Not now, Gaylord.
Go away!

Oh!

All right, now, Gaylord.
Stop it. Stop it!

Shoo!

Daddy!
Da-- Daddy!

Come on.

Mmm.

Oh, these petits fours
are delicious.

I must ask Sheila
where she got them.

Yes?

Oh, send her in
please.

Hi, there.

Hi, honey.

Get your errands done?
Uh-huh.

I'll be with you
in a minute,

Oh, good,
I'm starving.

Oh, sweetheart.
I am sorry about last night.

Sheila deserved it.

Even if it did mean
blowing the Sommers account.

I can't figure out

what happened to that material
for Webbley Foods.

Couldn't find it at home,
I can't find it here.

Hi, Sam.

You sly, little fox.

Pulled a fast one,
didn't you?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

He doesn't know
what I'm talking about.

Isn't he something?
You know what you are?

You're... irascible.

I am? What did I do?

What did he do?

You old conniver.

You decided
not to take any chances

and you sent your ideas
over to Webbley Foods anyway.

And are you ready?

They loved 'em.
We're renewed.

But I didn't--

Sam, what did you do
this morning?

Well, I told you.

I had some errands to run.

I cannot tell you how happy I am
about Webbley Foods.

Do you know I had dinner alone

three nights in a row
because of them?

I'm happy that it wasn't
for nothing.

Enjoy your lunch.

You son of a gun!

You know what you are?
What?

Irascible.

But lovable.

Oh.

What does
"irascible" mean?

I don't know.