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1
00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:05,297
[Italian accent] That should give
you some idea as to how we handle
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,799
the Chef Romani product
in our European market.
3
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:10,052
Now we come to invade
the American market.
4
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,679
This is one
invasion we Americans
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,473
will surrender to
without a fight.
6
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,934
With the proper
propaganda.
7
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:20,103
- We prefer to call it commercials.
- Of course.
8
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:23,607
Mr. Arcarius, I pride myself
on being an average American,
9
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:27,236
and the average American
eats Italian food once a week.
10
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,862
I sometimes
eat it twice.
11
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,197
Good boy.
12
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,241
Now I'm certain we here
at McMann ... Tate
13
00:00:32,281 --> 00:00:34,284
have the personnel,
the imagination...
14
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,912
I am aware of your
reputation, Mr. Tate.
15
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,540
But, there is something
more important.
16
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,084
Mr. Romani's impression
of you will be based
17
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:46,255
not so much on, uh,
campaigns as on personality.
18
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,800
Now, it might be a nice,
little touch of diplomacy
19
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,262
if one of you
had a smattering of Italian.
20
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,598
No problem.
21
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,309
Uh, Darrin is fluent
in the tongue.
22
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,980
Well, I wouldn't
exactly say fluent.
23
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,899
I, uh, have a smattering
of, uh, fluency.
24
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,402
Oh?
Lei Parla bene Allora?
25
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,864
Comme ci
comme ça.
26
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,032
He speaks,
French too.
27
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,284
Oh, marvelous.
28
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,286
It's been a splendid
meeting, gentlemen.
29
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,121
I am very encouraged
and certain
30
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,330
that we will
do business together.
31
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,873
- Good.
- I will keep in touch.
32
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,126
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
33
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,628
- Auf Wiedersehen.
- He speaks German, too.
34
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,130
Oh.
35
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,881
Bye-bye.
36
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,092
How was that
for fancy footwork, huh?
37
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,177
You put your fancy foot
in my mouth, Larry.
38
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,846
I don't know
a single word of Italian.
39
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:38,557
So, for $500,000
in billings, you'll learn.
40
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,517
I don't have
a facility for languages.
41
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,686
In college,
I was a D student.
42
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,021
How hard can it be
43
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,481
if every little kid in Italy
can speak it?
44
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,483
Don't be funny.
45
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,484
Okay.
46
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,695
Uh, let me put it this way...
47
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,614
You understand English?
48
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,407
Yes.
49
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:59,828
Then listen very carefully
to Great White Father.
50
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:02,748
He speak softly
but carry big stick.
51
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:06,043
Chef Romani heap big account.
52
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,794
So you learn
to speak simple Italian,
53
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:12,174
or find um other job.
54
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,066
So... I accepted the challenge!
55
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,859
At first, I was mad.
56
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,112
But then I asked myself,
"Who am I mad at?"
57
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,823
Larry? No!
I was mad at myself
58
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,532
for being afraid
to accept the challenge.
59
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:22,619
So I went over to the World
Wide School of Languages
60
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,787
and bought these albums.
61
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,663
Well, sweetheart,
I'm very proud of you.
62
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,750
Thank you. It's just a
matter of concentration, right?
63
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,877
Right. But you didn't
have to buy records.
64
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:34,089
I speak a little Italian.
Perhaps I could...
65
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,590
Yeah,
I know, I know.
66
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,801
I'd rather
do it by myself.
67
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,011
Now, if you'll go,
I have to get to work.
68
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,097
- Go, go.
- Okay.
69
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,811
MAN'S VOICE
[Italian accent] Hello.
70
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,815
My name is
Alfonso Martinelli.
71
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,817
I am your teacher.
72
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,485
What is your name?
73
00:03:55,527 --> 00:04:00,115
- Darrin Stephens.
- Now say it in Italian.
74
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,951
[Italian accent] Dino Stevanso?
75
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,286
In Italian, you say,
76
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:08,665
"io sono il Signor
blank blank. "
77
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:12,502
Io sono il Signor
Blank Blank.
78
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,255
You see how easy?
79
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,339
Easy for you,
difficult for me.
80
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:20,302
You meet beautiful
girl in café
81
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:24,014
and you wish to become
acquainted.
82
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,476
"Lei ha una figura
per fare l'amore."
83
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:32,397
Which means, "You have
a body made for love."
84
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,817
Repeat after me.
85
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,778
- Lei.
- Lei.
86
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,488
- Ha.
- Ha.
87
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,947
- Una.
- Una.
88
00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:42,783
- figura.
- figura.
89
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,451
- Per.
- Per.
90
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:45,911
- Far.
- Far.
91
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,455
- L'amore.
- L'amore.
92
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,123
Again.
93
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,962
Lei ha figura, uh...
94
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,505
Twice is enough.
95
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,717
If she does not respond,
find another table.
96
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:03,136
What kind of a record
is that?
97
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,892
"Simple Phrases for the American
Bachelor in Italy."
98
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,601
Oh, for heaven's sake.
99
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:15,315
Darling, you and I can go
to the opera at La Scala.
100
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,400
And weekends we can
motor down to Venice.
101
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:21,321
Prince Pepe will put us up
at the pink palazzo.
102
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,658
And afternoons we could go
to the American bar.
103
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,201
We can...
104
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,702
Well, we can just stop dreaming.
105
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,206
What's-his-name will never
learn the language,
106
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,875
and you'll be stuck here
in this stultifying suburb
107
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,670
for the rest of your
unnatural life.
108
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,213
Mother, in the first
place,
109
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,966
I do not like the opera
or Prince Pepe.
110
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,092
In the second place,
111
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,261
what's-his-name's
name is Darrin.
112
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,556
In the third place,
I read stultifying suburb
113
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,182
as home sweet home.
114
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:52,142
And in the fourth place...
115
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,271
I'll bet Darrin
does learn Italian.
116
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,690
That would be nice.
117
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,315
That would be very nice.
118
00:05:58,315 --> 00:06:01,236
That way, if you ever do
make a trip to Europe,
119
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:04,656
Dum-Dum wouldn't be
a source of embarrassment.
120
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,658
Mother, dear.
121
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,076
Yes?
122
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,327
Butt out.
123
00:06:10,452 --> 00:06:12,122
Of course.
124
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,541
Good.
125
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:19,421
Now, you will
count, please.
126
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,298
Uno, due,
127
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,883
tre...
128
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,094
...quattro,
129
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,345
cinque.
130
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,764
Time. If you counted to
ten,
131
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,266
you are a superior
student.
132
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,767
To seven,
you are average.
133
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:37,022
And to five,
Stupido.
134
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,440
You really know
how to hurt a guy.
135
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,776
Now I will test you
on the months of the year
136
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,571
which we had in the beginning
of the record.
137
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,197
Begin, please.
138
00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:49,826
Uh, January,
Gennaio.
139
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,120
February...
Forget February!
140
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,623
Uh, March,
Marzo.
141
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,333
April...
142
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,214
Uno, due, tre
143
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:07,260
I wish he might,
I wish he may
144
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:11,264
Speak like an Italian
at the break of day!
145
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,392
Aprile,
146
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,268
Maggio,
147
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,562
Guigno, Luglio,
148
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,481
agosto, Settembre,
149
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:23,193
Ottobre, Novembre,
Dicembre.
150
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,196
Hey, how about that.
151
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,365
Now we'll review
the conjugation
152
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,825
of the verb
"to see."
153
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,789
Sei bella...
154
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,124
come I Fiori nel vaso.
155
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,709
Grazie.
156
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,087
Darrin,
did you say that?
157
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,381
[Italian accent] You were expecting
maybe Marcello Mastroianni?
158
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:47,133
Oh, Darrin,
that's beautiful!
159
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,468
Yeah, it was,
wasn't it?
160
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,011
I guess sticking to it
paid off.
161
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,554
What time
did you get to bed?
162
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,349
Who got to bed? I was up
with those records all night.
163
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,517
Honey,
it was exciting.
164
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,644
Suddenly, I felt
like a... a sponge,
165
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,687
soaking it all in.
166
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,855
That Ms. Petruccelli
is quite a teacher.
167
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,693
Hey, ask me the time.
168
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,194
What time is it?
169
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,196
Le nove e dieci.
170
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,365
That's perfect.
171
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,037
Che bel profumo.
172
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,373
They do smell nice,
don't they?
173
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,333
[Italian accent] Ask me somethin' else.
174
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,003
Why don't ya ask me
how I feel?
175
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,087
Darrin.
176
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,755
Now, just a minute,
Samantha.
177
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,968
Now, I gonna tell you
the colors in a rainbow.
178
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,761
Why are you talking like that?
179
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:35,390
- Why am I talkin' what-a way?
- With... With an Italian accent.
180
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,684
Are you crazy? Who's-a
talkin' with-a Italian accent?
181
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:43,189
I tell you what I gonna do. Now, I
gonna speak it to you, the furniture.
182
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,649
Tavola.
183
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,901
Tappeto.
184
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,278
Lampada.
185
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,155
How you like-a them
apples?
186
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,657
I... I... I can't get over it.
187
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,950
Non ti capisco.
188
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,869
I said I couldn't get over it.
189
00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:58,328
Non ti capisco.
190
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,623
What do you mean,
you don't understand me?
191
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,583
Parla italiano.
192
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,626
Oh, I see.
193
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,962
You want some more
practice, huh?
194
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,089
Well, uh... Mm.
195
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:12,260
vuoi una banana
con I cereali?
196
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,763
Perché no?
197
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,601
Cosa dice il giornale?
198
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,311
Dice...
199
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,730
What do you mean,
"What it says?"
200
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,899
Parla italiano.
201
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:30,153
Darrin... wipe that glazed look
off your eyes.
202
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,988
You're scaring me.
203
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,948
Eh?
204
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,451
Darrin, quit fooling around!
205
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,203
Non ti capisco.
206
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,747
Hey...
207
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,958
You don't understand.
You really don't.
208
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,212
Oh! Mother did it!
209
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,839
Mamma ha fat to, questo.
210
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,634
Ohhh! Mother!
Mother!
211
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,761
Endora, vieni qui!
212
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,554
O ti strangolo!
213
00:09:57,554 --> 00:09:59,474
Oh, uh,
take it easy, sweetheart.
214
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,726
I'll...
I'll fix everything.
215
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,352
Oh, uh...
216
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,147
Speak Italian
217
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,482
but spoil the spell
218
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,944
and speak your
mother tongue as well
219
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,364
Come?
220
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,575
Oh! Mother!
221
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,744
Endora!
222
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,759
Oh! Mamma mia!
223
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,641
Gatto.
224
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,851
Cat.
225
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,604
Cat. Gatto.
226
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,606
Ca...
227
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,316
Oh, Darrin.
228
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,360
I'm sorry,
but it's the only way,
229
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,404
until I can find mother.
230
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,655
The old-fashioned way,
like in school.
231
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,574
Eh?
232
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,213
"I am happy to make
your acquaintance."
233
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,715
- Oh.
- Aww.
234
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:17,385
I am happy to make
your acquaintance.
235
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,804
Ripete.
236
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,931
I am...
237
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,725
I emm...
238
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:24,893
Happy...
239
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,227
Happy...
240
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,645
To make...
241
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,314
To mek...
242
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,815
Your acquaintance.
243
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,734
Your acquaintenence.
244
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:37,447
Uh. Now... now say it,
uh, dillo presto.
245
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,243
Oh. Darrin!
246
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,746
Non posso!
Non capisci? Non posso!
247
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,373
Endora!
Miserabile suocera!
248
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,208
Ritorna!
249
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,256
Aspetta.
250
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,383
Aspetta?
251
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,846
Oh! È Larry Tate.
252
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,765
Mamma mia!
253
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,141
Vai in Cucina.
254
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,934
Cucina.
Cucina.
255
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,612
Hi, Sam. I thought
I'd unclog the freeway
256
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,614
and have Darrin
drive into work with me.
257
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:22,992
Well, you certainly picked
a fine morning to be thoughtful.
258
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,413
Well?
259
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,831
Aren't you gonna ask me
in?
260
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,208
What for?
261
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,417
I mean,
do come in, Larry.
262
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,628
But, uh, Darrin's not
here.
263
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,296
His car's out front.
264
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,049
Um, I mean
he's upstairs.
265
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,217
Well, that's here.
266
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,594
Not really.
He's in bed.
267
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,136
Too much studying, huh?
268
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,099
Oh, you wouldn't believe it.
269
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:49,394
Well, as long as he can fake
a few "Arrivederci Romas,"
270
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:50,687
I'll be satisfied.
271
00:12:50,727 --> 00:12:52,647
Oh, he can fake
that all right.
272
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,232
Well, I won't
keep him long.
273
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,984
Uh, Larry,
I wish you wouldn't.
274
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,497
Son of a gun!
275
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:12,375
Marvelous! You sounded
just like a native.
276
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,673
Grazie.
277
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,010
He says, "Won't
you have a seat?"
278
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,472
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
You're great!
279
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:27,890
Just great!
280
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,518
Oh, uh.
281
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,273
Grazie, signore.
282
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,234
I'm impressed.
I'm really impressed.
283
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,739
Now, come on. Cut out
the United Nations routine.
284
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,742
Darrin, Romani's coming to the
office at 3:00 this afternoon--
285
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,703
[Sam] Larry, I'm... I'm afraid
you're wasting your breath.
286
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,539
Darrin can't understand
a word you're saying.
287
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,041
I beg your pardon?
288
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,876
Well, it's quite normal.
289
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:58,338
It's quite normal that he doesn't
understand a word I'm saying?
290
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,631
Yes. Isn't that marvelous?
291
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,218
Now... Now, I don't understand
a word you're saying.
292
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:09,307
Oh, um, well, I... I... let me
see if I can explain it to you.
293
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,933
It's a... technique.
294
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,561
It's called total
immersion.
295
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,689
Darrin is drowning
in the Italian language.
296
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,566
He is, huh?
297
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,526
Well, tell him
to come up for air.
298
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,573
Oh, I... I'm afraid
it's a little late, Larry.
299
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:29,077
He can't think or speak
in anything but Italian.
300
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,536
Y-you're not serious.
301
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,081
Boy, am I serious.
302
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,794
I know it's a put-on,
but I'll go along with it.
303
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,796
Darrin, I want your
recommendation
304
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,591
on who to assign as
copywriter and art director.
305
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,475
bene. Recommendo...
306
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,186
Bill Baxter e Sam
Kaplan.
307
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,772
- He says "Bill Baxter..."
- Oh, I got the gist of it.
308
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,191
Thank you. Uh, grazie.
309
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:05,029
'Appy to make-a
you acquainenence.
310
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,490
All right, Darrin, you've
had your little joke.
311
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,242
Now, come on.
Let's go to work.
312
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,203
Larry, I'm afraid that might
be a little dangerous for him.
313
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,790
You see, he has to, uh,
decompress from...
314
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,375
From the immersion.
315
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,876
- Yes.
- All right, Sam.
316
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,629
You make sure he's
at the office at 3 o'clock.
317
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,589
Three o'clock.
318
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:24,799
Ciao.
319
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,717
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
320
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,886
[Larry] Three o'clock.
321
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,063
Endora!
Endora!
322
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:39,897
Mother!
Mother!
323
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,192
- Ritorna!
- Mamma!
324
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,905
Oh, dear. Sweetheart,
you go on to the office,
325
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,241
- I'll find Mother.
- Come?
326
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,125
Welcome to the agency,
Mr. Romani.
327
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:03,171
Signor Tate.
328
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,591
I hope the relationship
will be long and fruitful.
329
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,093
Come in.
330
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,555
Ah, this is my associate,
Darrin Stephens.
331
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:13,473
Mr. Romani.
332
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,610
He wants to know what
part of Italy he comes from.
333
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,032
He says he wasn't
born in Italy.
334
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,117
He was born
in the United States.
335
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,869
I know that.
336
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,710
He does not
believe him.
337
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,716
Now, enough's
enough.
338
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,551
Now, stop showing
off, Darrin.
339
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,470
Speak to him in English.
340
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,018
Ha. He says that
to honor Mr. Romani,
341
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,938
he wishes to speak
Italian only.
342
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:03,981
Forget italiano.
343
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,650
Speak-a to me
in the English.
344
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,694
- Non capisco.
- What do you mean you don't understand?
345
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,656
I heard you speak
English yesterday.
346
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:14,534
- Non capisco.
- Non capisco?
347
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,244
Si! Si. Grazie.
348
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,748
I know you can hear me, mother,
349
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,084
wherever you are,
so you hear me good!
350
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:27,630
Now, I'm gonna count to three.
Not five, not four, but three!
351
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:30,758
And if you're not here
on the count of three,
352
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,468
no matter where you are,
no matter what you're doing,
353
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:36,097
I am gonna forbid you
to set foot in this house again.
354
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,849
One, two, three.
355
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,894
You said, wherever I am.
356
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,271
Now just don't stand
there,
357
00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:46,315
here, do a little work
on your mama's back.
358
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:49,151
Mother, do you realize
what you've done to Darrin?
359
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,446
Well, I've just given him
a little private tutoring.
360
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:56,200
You have deprived Darrin of
the use of the English language.
361
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,035
Oh, I have?
362
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,288
Well, so I've given him
an overdose.
363
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,624
Your overdose
can cost him his job!
364
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,127
Please don't shout,
Samantha,
365
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:09,547
or I will have to ask you
to leave my bathroom.
366
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,883
And I will have to ask you
to leave this house forever,
367
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,136
unless you unspell Darrin.
368
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:16,304
subito!
369
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,806
Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.
370
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,976
Cancel the spell.
371
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,647
That's an incantation?
372
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:29,191
What do you expect
at this hour, darling?
373
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,736
Poetry?
374
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,946
Now, it isn't that
I don't trust you, mother,
375
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:38,159
but you're coming with me.
Get dressed.
376
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,996
[Larry] Mr. Romani, Stephens, like
everyone else in McMann ... Tate,
377
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:45,291
is dedicated to doing things
to their fullest fruition.
378
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,835
No halfway measures
at McMann ... Tate.
379
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,838
Stephens is to be prided
on his devotion to, uh,
380
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,840
all Italian or no Italian.
381
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,052
Don't you agree?
382
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,680
You going to speak-a to me
in the Henglish,
383
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:03,100
or I'm goin' to walk
right out of here.
384
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,561
Okay, you want-a me
to speak-a to you in English,
385
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:09,106
I'm-a gonna speak-a
to you English.
386
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,444
[Larry] Are you
out of your mind?
387
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,071
How dare you!
388
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:19,075
I'm-a doin' the best I
can.
389
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,244
Mother, do something.
390
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,705
I'm-a do the best I can.
391
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:28,250
It has to take time,
Samantha.
392
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,842
You a-lie, Mr. Stephens.
393
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,553
No Americano speaks
italiano like-a that.
394
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:44,558
I swear to you, senor, I am... I
am-a one hundred percent Yankee.
395
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,853
You're gonna be one hundred
percent unemployed Yankee,
396
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:51,232
if you don't apologize
to Mr. Romani this minute!
397
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,402
I...
398
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,112
am...
399
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,446
very...
400
00:19:57,488 --> 00:20:01,784
sorry if I've done anything
to offend you, uh, Mr. Romani.
401
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,119
[Darrin] But I'm sure
I can explain.
402
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,123
You speak-a
perfect-a English.
403
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,166
You was-a mocking me.
404
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,752
You were deliberately
mocking him!
405
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,379
[Darrin] Deliberately.
406
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,089
And do you know why?
407
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,924
Do you know why?
408
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,093
No, but it better be good.
409
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,846
I'll tell you why.
410
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,558
Because...
411
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,767
Go on.
412
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:30,271
I was trying to impress
on Mr. Romani...
413
00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:33,941
the danger of the Romani image
becoming, uh,
414
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,901
provincial...
415
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,862
and laughable.
416
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,114
I hope there's more.
417
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:46,662
I despise those people who
find dialect humor amusing.
418
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:49,457
My boss is a very sensitive man.
419
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,085
He didn't know what I was doing.
420
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,004
I'll take an oath on that.
421
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,214
[Darrin] Did you notice
how incensed he was
422
00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:01,218
at my accent, because he
thought I was mocking you.
423
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:04,972
He was right. I was
mocking you deliberately.
424
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:08,225
- And do you know why?
- No, why?
425
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:12,146
If you multiply Mr. Tate
by 100,000,000 consumers,
426
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,315
I think you'll get
what I'm driving at.
427
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:17,859
And I believe I can say
without fear of contradiction,
428
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,029
that if you decide
to give us the campaign,
429
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:24,074
our account will be
100 percent American sell.
430
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:28,662
The food may be Italian,
the accent... American.
431
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,664
I understand what you
say-a.
432
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,215
- What did he say?
- "What did he say?"
433
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,342
"What did he say?"
434
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,974
You got-a me cuckoo,
but I don't care.
435
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,143
I like to do
business with you.
436
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:53,729
You won't regret it,
Mr. Romani.
437
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:57,775
Now, let me introduce you and
Mr. Arcarius to the rest of the staff.
438
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:01,153
'Appy to
make-a your acquaintenence.
439
00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:04,031
Likewise,
I'm sure.
440
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:09,411
That's the greatest
salesmanship I've ever seen.
441
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,539
You're a genius.
442
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,624
You're not going
to understand this, Larry,
443
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,126
but I have to be.
444
00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:31,058
I don't expect
any thanks,
445
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,269
but at least a tiny pat
on the head.
446
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,021
- How about a kick in the...
- Darrin!
447
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,065
She's my mother!
448
00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:41,569
Oh, stop pouting,
Dino.
449
00:22:41,609 --> 00:22:45,990
All's well that ends well,
as what's-his-name says.
450
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:47,741
Ah, I'm famished.
451
00:22:47,782 --> 00:22:52,121
Why don't you take my daughter
and me to a nice Italian dinner.
452
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:54,248
It's only 4:30
in the afternoon.
453
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:56,959
Oh, I'm still
on European time.
454
00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,253
Then why don't you
go to dinner in Europe?
455
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,422
That's a splendid idea.
456
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,757
Let's go.
457
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,302
[Darrin] Saaam!
458
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,604
And on mother's
last trip to Italy...
459
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,980
Quite recently.
460
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:21,275
Yes. She brought back
two paintings,
461
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,443
three evening dresses,
462
00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:25,362
and 400 pounds
of Romani product.
463
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,489
- Brava!
- Grazie
464
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:30,034
You know I must-a
congratulate-a, Samantha.
465
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,411
You have a most-a
brilliant husband.
466
00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:35,080
His-a campaign makes Chef Romani
467
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:39,084
as an American as,
uh, apple pie.
468
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:41,128
Well, we like him.
469
00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:44,089
Ah, but he is
a naughty boy.
470
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,052
Come on,
naughty boy.
471
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:51,096
Uh, uh, speak-a to me
a few words in italiano.
472
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:53,641
I feel-a like-a getting,
uh, home-a-sick.
473
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:56,852
He speak so delicious.
474
00:23:56,894 --> 00:24:00,272
Oblige him,
Mr. Stephens.
475
00:24:02,232 --> 00:24:03,609
Do it for me.
476
00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:31,929
Listen how
he speaks-is.
477
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:35,015
So beautiful.
So beautiful.
478
00:24:35,057 --> 00:24:39,061
Why he deny-is
he-is italiano?
479
00:24:39,103 --> 00:24:40,229
You tell-a me,
Samantha,
480
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,564
what-a province
he comes-a from?
481
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:44,148
Ah-ha-ha.
482
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,611
Would somebody
tell-a me, please?
483
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:49,655
Somebody tell me.
33352
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