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[Carlton] Good morning, everyone.
Ron Carlton here with the news,
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00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:05,506
brought to you every
morning by Scrub.
3
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,966
- Hi, honey.
- And now for the news...
4
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,801
Uh, I thought you'd left.
5
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,095
Oh, why? It's early.
6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,182
I have a feeling mother's
going to drop in.
7
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,809
It's late.
8
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,395
Just a minute. She
promised the next time she came
9
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,855
she'd let me know
in advance.
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00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,774
[Carlton] And now a special
announcement.
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00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,609
Darrin Stephens of this
city
12
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,529
will receive a visit from his
mother-in-law today.
13
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,907
That's what you call
letting me know in advance?
14
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:35,452
You didn't specify
how far in advance.
15
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,120
This is for you,
darling.
16
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,956
Oh, who's it from?
17
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,540
Ticheba.
18
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,251
Oh, my goodness.
19
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,460
Ticha who?
20
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,671
Ticheba, she's...
21
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:46,755
Oh, my goodness!
22
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,340
What does she say?
23
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,009
She... She said...
24
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,261
Oh, my goodness!
25
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,846
Stop saying that and tell me.
26
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:56,974
She's coming for a visit.
27
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,476
Oh, my goodness!
28
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,520
Look, honey, if it's
going to upset you
29
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,355
just tell this Ticheba
not to come.
30
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:07,150
Not to come!
31
00:01:07,191 --> 00:01:09,569
That's the funniest thing
you've ever said.
32
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,489
Nobody tells Ticheba
anything.
33
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,532
Why not? Who is she?
34
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,617
Queen of the witches
or something?
35
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,077
That is right.
36
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,245
That's right.
37
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,413
Ask a silly question...
38
00:01:19,453 --> 00:01:22,624
Well, uh, sweetheart,
you'll like her.
39
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,001
Once you get used to her.
40
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,836
Yes, she likes things
her own way
41
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,005
and will brook
no denial.
42
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,340
I suppose that's natural
for a queen.
43
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,425
Exactly.
44
00:01:31,465 --> 00:01:34,011
- What's your excuse?
- Darrin!
45
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,973
Samantha, I will not
stand here and be insulted
46
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:41,685
by something which is
94 percent water.
47
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,729
- Mother!
- Oh, yeah?
48
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:47,691
What about something which
is 100 percent hot air?
49
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,360
Darrin, would you please
try and control yourself?
50
00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:11,298
You may rise.
51
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,454
Very nice.
52
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,288
Very nice indeed.
53
00:03:26,288 --> 00:03:28,792
Well, uh, thank you,
Your Majesty.
54
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,461
Uh, where is
the main house?
55
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:34,339
Uh, I'm afraid
this is it.
56
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,882
Really?
57
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:49,646
If you don't mind,
I think I'd prefer my own chair.
58
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:53,024
Of course not, Your
Majesty.
59
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,280
Now, just a minute!
60
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,491
Yes?
61
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,827
I forgot the question.
62
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:07,873
Uh... Mm. Mm-mm.
63
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,172
How long is she
gonna be here?
64
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,966
[Samantha] Well, I don't
know, sweetheart.
65
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,342
Well, it doesn't matter.
66
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,095
As long as she's gone
by the time I get home.
67
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,264
Well, I'm, uh, leaving.
68
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,891
Splendid!
69
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,315
Come here, my dear.
70
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,863
My dear...
I have decided to abdicate.
71
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:44,785
And you have been chosen
to serve in my place.
72
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,037
In your place?
73
00:04:47,077 --> 00:04:49,664
Tomorrow night,
a universal coven
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00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,125
will witness your coronation.
75
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,460
What!
76
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,337
Oh, my dear!
77
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,421
Mother!
78
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,714
Oh! My little girl!
Queen of the witches?
79
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,550
But I...
I can't believe it.
80
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,594
Oh, my baby!
81
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,095
One of the chosen few?
82
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:07,557
Oh, uh, w... well, I... I...
I'm honored, Your Majesty.
83
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:11,186
More than words
can express.
84
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,439
And I can't accept it.
85
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:16,942
I beg your pardon?
86
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,693
I know what's bothering her.
87
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,654
It's dumbo.
88
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,238
Well, that's hardly a problem.
89
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,491
I'll turn him into
something suitable,
90
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:27,118
like a doormat.
- No!
91
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,122
If you will show me my room,
I'd like to rest.
92
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,083
Right this way, Your Majesty.
93
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,126
Now, please, let me try
and explain, Your Majesty.
94
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,254
You see, well, when
I married Darrin,
95
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,422
I promised I wouldn't
use any witchcraft.
96
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,592
Now, he's been very
understanding up until now,
97
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,470
but he'd never
understand this.
98
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:49,057
Y-your Majesty, I...
I can't be queen!
99
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,517
I'm married
to a mortal,
100
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:53,270
and I have a child
and a house to take care of.
101
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,188
One thing you must do
is find quarters
102
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,232
more suitable
for a queen.
103
00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:01,319
Uh, perhaps you'd like some
of your own furniture up here.
104
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,947
That might help.
105
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,452
Well, now,
that's better. Hm.
106
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,623
Uh, Your Majesty,
do you understand?
107
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,126
It's a bit crowded,
isn't it?
108
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:18,169
You're not listening to
me, Your Majesty.
109
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,172
Of course I am. I heard
every word you've said.
110
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,133
Your husband represents
a problem.
111
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,426
And I have told you,
112
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,137
I personally will
take care of Dumbo.
113
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,139
His name is Darrin.
114
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,642
Either way, you have
no problem.
115
00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:36,062
What's beyond that wall?
116
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,981
The master bedroom.
117
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:41,067
Then, if you don't mind...
118
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,158
Ooh!
119
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:55,040
Your Majesty, I refuse
to be queen.
120
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,710
We do our best,
but sometimes we fail.
121
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,588
Samantha, come with me.
122
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,345
Will you stop making
a fool of yourself?
123
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,014
When you've been selected
queen, our highest honor,
124
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,809
you do not have the privilege of
turning it down. You must accept.
125
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,811
- But that's not fair.
- Why?
126
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,522
Well, I-I-I mean, it's all
right for other witches,
127
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,733
they don't have Darrin
to contend with,
128
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,361
but I don't... Oh!
129
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:29,407
Mother, Darrin's simply
going to explode.
130
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,700
Good!
131
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:34,245
It'll save us the trouble
of turning him into a doormat.
132
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,331
Oh, you can joke,
you can joke.
133
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,707
But I've got to tell him.
134
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,126
I can just hear
the explosion.
135
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,670
Queen?
136
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,297
of the witches?
137
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,092
What does that make me,
Prince Valiant?
138
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,053
- This is no joking matter.
- You're not kidding!
139
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,305
But it's a great,
great honor.
140
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,391
And it means a lot to me,
141
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,811
and even more to mother.
I can't refuse.
142
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,312
And what I think
doesn't count.
143
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,565
I'm just a doormat
around here, I suppose.
144
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,151
- Not yet.
- What?
145
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,989
I promise, you won't be
inconvenienced.
146
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,991
I won't.
147
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,717
Is this a sample
of what I can expect?
148
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,386
Oh, uh, no.
No, sweetheart.
149
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:35,557
Ticheba insisted upon doing
a little redecorating.
150
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,101
I... I... I'll change it
as soon as she leaves.
151
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,020
She feels more
at home this way.
152
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,731
Where does she live,
the Taj Mahal?
153
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,482
Darrin, try to understand.
154
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,277
Being queen is something
that every witch mother
155
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,820
dreams of
for her little girl,
156
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:52,198
just as every American father
dreams that someday
157
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,575
his boy will be president.
158
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:57,037
If memory serves,
no president has ever been
159
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,747
a wife and a mother,
which you are.
160
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,291
How do you expect to take care
of your home and your family?
161
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,208
Well, I've got that
all worked out.
162
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,711
Whatever business
does come up,
163
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,130
well, I'll just take
care of it after midnight.
164
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,633
I just don't understand.
Why you?
165
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,471
Yeah. Why me?
166
00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:18,725
Well, um, it's...
it's sort of hard to explain.
167
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,145
Try.
168
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:26,024
Well, uh, certain witches
are chosen at birth.
169
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:29,152
When you've been selected,
you must serve.
170
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,071
You have no choice.
171
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,655
Then it really doesn't matter
what I think?
172
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,241
Not really.
173
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,287
In that case,
what can I say?
174
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:43,416
Oh, Darrin,
I knew you'd understand.
175
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,892
All hail Ticheba our queen.
176
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,743
You may rise.
177
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:34,467
This universal coven
I do convene.
178
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:38,054
Its purpose, you know,
to crown a queen
179
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:42,267
to rule all witchdom
from this point hence.
180
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:47,772
If all be present,
let the oath-taking commence.
181
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:20,221
Samantha gentle,
Samantha fair,
182
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:23,349
before your peers
assembled here,
183
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,977
are you ready now
to take
184
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,897
the oath of office
of which I spake?
185
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,231
I am.
186
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:33,276
Let the bearers of the
Book of Rites draw near
187
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:37,739
and as I read,
let all give ear.
188
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:43,203
These words I read,
say after me.
189
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:46,789
And weigh each one
most carefully.
190
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:51,127
"I, Samantha,
do solemnly swear
191
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:55,631
in accepting the crown
to hold it dear."
192
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,259
I, Samantha,
do solemnly swear
193
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,720
in accepting the crown
to hold it dear.
194
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:05,016
"To be faithful
and never to forsake
195
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,477
the holy office
which I take."
196
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,313
To be faithful
and never to forsake
197
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,482
the holy office
which I take.
198
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:16,986
"To preserve, protect
and to defend
199
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:20,155
the laws of witchdom
to the end."
200
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:23,201
To preserve, protect
and to defend
201
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,955
the laws of witchdom
to the end.
202
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,415
But only after midnight, please.
203
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,877
You see, I promised my husband,
and he'd flip his lid.
204
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,547
I'm trying to rhyme,
so please do as I bid.
205
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:45,056
Long live Queen Samantha!
206
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,350
Long live Queen Samantha!
207
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:50,561
Long live Queen Samantha!
208
00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:54,816
Long live Queen Samantha!
209
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,290
Who's there?
210
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,583
Who's there?
211
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:18,923
I have an appointment
with Her Majesty.
212
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,133
Uh, downstairs.
213
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:23,052
Uh, why are you disguised
as a bird?
214
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,929
What disguise?
215
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,566
So I've been made
a committee of one
216
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:40,153
to petition Your Majesty
for pardon for all of us.
217
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,321
Are there many of you?
218
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,780
I'd hate to tell you
how many.
219
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,866
Ticheba had a pretty
short fuse, you know.
220
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:48,369
One wrong word, and bingo!
We were transformed.
221
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,871
Well, I...
222
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:55,376
Oh! Uh, Darrin.
Don't tell me we woke you?
223
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,170
All right,
I won't tell you.
224
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,921
I always get up
at 3:00 in the morning.
225
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,466
Forgive me for not
waiting in line, Your Majesty,
226
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:04,177
but could you spare
a moment of your time?
227
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,721
Certainly.
You may withdraw.
228
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,067
Look, tomorrow morning
229
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,110
I've got a meeting with a
man who is the president
230
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,405
of one of the largest
steel companies in the country.
231
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,032
Now, his advertising
account is worth
232
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,659
over eight and a half
million dollars in billing.
233
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,287
If I can swing him over
to our agency,
234
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,081
they've got
to give me a bonus.
235
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,290
Oh!
236
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,625
Or at least
make me a partner.
237
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,211
Oh, well, that's wonderful,
sweetheart!
238
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:42,507
It won't be if I fall
asleep during that meeting!
239
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,342
Most of this activity
is caused
240
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,386
by the changeover
in administration.
241
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,221
It'll taper off.
You'll see.
242
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,431
It better taper,
and soon.
243
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,934
I'm gonna get myself
a glass of milk.
244
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,440
You can tell you friends
I'll pardon them all.
245
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,858
You will?
246
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,653
Oh, thank you,
Your Majesty. Thank you.
247
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:07,240
Tell them to assemble
here tomorrow
248
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,450
but remember,
not before 12:00.
249
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,577
Thank you.
250
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,250
Here you are,
Mr. Rohrbach.
251
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,334
Mm. Thank you.
252
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,961
- Sweetheart?
- Thank you, honey.
253
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:23,381
Mm. These crab meat things
are delicious, Mrs. Stephens.
254
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,341
Oh, well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
255
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,843
I just threw
them together.
256
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:29,929
If you'll excuse me, I
have another batch in the oven.
257
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,976
Well, I like what
I see, Stephens.
258
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:38,187
The house, good taste,
without ostentation.
259
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,772
Thank you, sir.
260
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,483
And your wife's gonna fit into
the Rohrbach family real well.
261
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,360
I'm glad you feel that way, sir.
262
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,112
Take us about
a week to sever relations
263
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,656
with the company that's now
handling our account.
264
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,907
Heck! What's a week?
265
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,785
Maybe two weeks
at the outside, but...
266
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,838
What was that?
267
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,090
Pardon?
268
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:10,094
Didn't you just see a...
bird fly through here?
269
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,387
What bird?
270
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:14,557
It was probably just a bird.
Uh, a shadow.
271
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,434
Uh, uh,
do you need some ice?
272
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,979
- No, no. No thanks.
- I need some ice.
273
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,065
Fresh out of ice.
274
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:28,237
But I told you, not until
after 12:00 midnight.
275
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,699
Oh,12:00 midnight.
276
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,160
Sam, get that bird
out of here, and fast.
277
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,245
Sweetheart, there's been
a terrible misunderstanding.
278
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:39,790
Wait till you see the
misunderstanding we're gonna have!
279
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,221
I'll find out
what's taking so long.
280
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,291
You better leave before you
end up in a fricassee.
281
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,292
Right!
282
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,919
What's going on?
283
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:28,548
[Raven] I told you
to wait outside, didn't I?
284
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,133
Sam, do something!
285
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,511
You should've seen the look
on Rohrbach's face
286
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,679
when that bird flew in.
287
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,431
And I'll bet when
he saw the chair that...
288
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:40,977
Saw the chair?
Holy mackerel!
289
00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:44,605
Oh!
290
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,032
How are you doing, sir?
291
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,453
A chair just came
in that door
292
00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:03,040
and walked right
through this hall.
293
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,044
Mr. Rohrbach,
have you been, uh...
294
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,380
I only had one.
295
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,507
And I know what I saw!
296
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,301
Well, just think what
you're saying, sir.
297
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:16,512
A chair came through that door
and walked through this hall?
298
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:20,641
Well, a chair can't walk
any more than a...
299
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,565
than a lamp can.
300
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,526
What kind
of a place is this?
301
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,069
Uh, what are you
referring to, sir?
302
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,863
I don't know what's
going on here,
303
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,615
but I don't want
any part of it.
304
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,907
And I don't want
any part of anybody
305
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,910
that's got
any part of it.
306
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,747
Aah!
307
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,292
Before you leave, sir,
uh, what about your account?
308
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,878
What account?
309
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,600
[Raven] All right,
everybody off the fat guy,
310
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,935
and clear out
till midnight.
311
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:13,653
Darrin, I'm sorry.
312
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,530
Sam, I want you
to abdicate.
313
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,949
- What?
- I want you to quit!
314
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,911
But I can't, I just took
the oath of office.
315
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,580
Okay, you said you couldn't
refuse the crown.
316
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,374
Okay, so you accepted it.
317
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,585
You've been queen for a day.
That's enough!
318
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,254
- No, it isn't.
- I say it is!
319
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,800
I have to serve
for at least a year.
320
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,594
You didn't tell me that.
321
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,681
- I didn't?
- Mm-mm.
322
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:45,434
Oh. Well, I, uh...
Uh, I... I...
323
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,978
Well, I guess you didn't ask.
324
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,940
Oh, now, Darrin,
please be reasonable.
325
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,400
A year isn't very long.
326
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,152
You'll see how quickly
it'll pass. Then I'll quit.
327
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:58,531
In that case, call me
in about a year.
328
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,615
I'll be at Joe's!
329
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,159
- Joe's?
- Joe's Bar and Grill.
330
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,744
But Darr... Ooh!
331
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,834
I tell you, a man
can take just so much,
332
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,794
then he has got
to walk.
333
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:14,171
You're so right.
334
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,215
"It's just for a year,"
she says.
335
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:19,176
"Okay," I say.
"Call me in about a year."
336
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,721
I'll be at
Joe's Bar and Grill.
337
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,638
I know how you feel.
338
00:20:23,638 --> 00:20:26,225
I got a problem
with my wife too.
339
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,643
Her mother.
340
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,561
With all due
respect, friend,
341
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,189
your problem can't
be as bad as mine.
342
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,400
My wife is queen
of the witches.
343
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,863
She can't be,
my mother-in-law's got that job.
344
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,290
Samantha,
it's almost midnight,
345
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:51,250
and the transformees
will be arriving.
346
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,836
You should be getting
into your robes.
347
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,004
Thought I heard a car.
348
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,173
Look, if he comes back,
he comes back.
349
00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:00,885
If he doesn't, we'll open
a bottle of champagne.
350
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,182
Well, I thought that
was rather a good idea.
351
00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:10,895
Well, I'm just not going
to stand for it in my house.
352
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,063
If I have to,
I won't go home for a year.
353
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,733
It's just about a year
since I've been home.
354
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,902
I mean it. I...
355
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,321
It is?
356
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,531
I never should have told
my mother-in-law
357
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:27,411
to get out of the house.
She owns it.
358
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,790
You haven't seen your
family in all that time?
359
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,959
I went back once.
360
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,754
About six months ago.
361
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:40,549
My kid didn't
recognize me.
362
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,259
And the dog bit me.
363
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:45,095
And he's my dog.
364
00:21:47,263 --> 00:21:50,559
Comes in every night
and cries like that.
365
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,811
Wow.
366
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,063
You know, pal,
this job gives me a chance
367
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,440
to see some pretty
good observations.
368
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,277
Now, he thinks his
mother-in-law's a holy terror
369
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:03,989
and, uh, you think your wife's
queen of the witches.
370
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,742
But if the truth
be it known,
371
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:09,244
they all got
their good points.
372
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:10,496
Right, pal?
373
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,458
They sure do, pal.
374
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,086
They sure do.
375
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:36,730
- Hi.
- Hi. Uh, say...
376
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,898
You missed all
the excitement.
377
00:22:38,898 --> 00:22:40,984
She was sensational!
378
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,945
The incantation
was beautiful.
379
00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,780
And, you know,
she actually produced
380
00:22:44,821 --> 00:22:47,449
a little
fire and brimstone!
381
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,660
Haven't seen that in ages.
382
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,994
Oh?
383
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,580
And then she touched each
one of us with her scepter
384
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:57,292
and presto! We were all
back to our original form.
385
00:22:58,335 --> 00:22:59,336
Is that better?
386
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:03,007
You know, I'm gonna
miss being a bird.
387
00:23:04,465 --> 00:23:08,220
Gonna miss
being a bird...
388
00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:17,771
Samantha, bad news.
He's back!
389
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:21,400
Better hurry, Endora. You'll
be late for the monster rally.
390
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,112
Darrin.
391
00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:28,324
Oh!
392
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:32,286
Mother, don't you have
someplace to fly?
393
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,249
Sweetheart,
now, don't you know
394
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:40,210
that you're more important
to me than any old crown?
395
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:43,047
Now, I don't know what's
going to happen if I resign
396
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,132
and no one's ever done it,
397
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:46,842
but I'm going to.
398
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,011
Honey...
399
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:51,096
I've been doing
some thinking too.
400
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:53,015
And I don't want
to come home some day
401
00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:55,142
and find out that
my child doesn't know me
402
00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:56,727
and have the dog bite me.
403
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,686
What dog?
404
00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:00,481
That's right.
We don't have one.
405
00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:03,943
Anyway, the thing
I realized is that...
406
00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:06,987
your being queen
is part of what you are.
407
00:24:07,029 --> 00:24:10,115
And if I love you enough,
I have to accept that.
408
00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:13,577
Just the way you accept
certain things about my world.
409
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:16,372
So...
410
00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:20,209
I'm at your disposal,
Your Majesty.
411
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:23,045
Rise, silly goose!
412
00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:29,885
Oh, Darrin!
Darrin, I'm terribly sorry.
413
00:24:32,930 --> 00:24:35,057
Oh, that was a terrible mistake.
414
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:37,226
Darrin, come back here.
415
00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:40,061
Darrin. Darrin. Oh, please.
416
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,563
Plea... Darrin, please.
417
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,483
If you'd just stand still,
then I can change you back.
418
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,859
Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
Come on. Come on.
419
00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:50,698
Oh, please! Darrin,
please!
29948
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