All language subtitles for Bewitched.S03E14.Samantha.for.the.Defense.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[Sam] It wasn't Aunt Clara's fault.

She was only trying to get
an electrician to fix my lamp.

But she got
Benjamin Franklin instead.

An understandable mistake...
For Aunt Clara.

Well, Mr. Franklin
is such a marvelous man

and so many of his inventions
are taken for granted today,

that it seemed a shame not to
show him around the 20th century.

Everything would have been
just fine,

if only he hadn't wanted
to examine that fire engine.

The judge wasn't
sympathetic at all.

He charged Mr. Franklin
with grand theft.

I'm sure we could have
straightened everything out,

if Aunt Clara hadn't remembered the
spell to make Mr. Franklin disappear.

Where is he? Mr. Franklin?
Mr. Franklin! Oh, no!

Oh, I remembered!
I remembered!

Oh! Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara,
you've got to bring him back,

or we're out $1,000!

What?

Now she remembers.

Yes, Helen.

Mr. Stephens, there's a gentleman from
the District Attorney's office to see you.

Well, um, send him in.

Mr. Stephens.
Chuck Hawkins.

I'll be prosecuting Ben ja...
Mr. Franklin for the city.

Well, won't you sit down,
Mr. Hawkins? Thank you.

I, uh... I hope you don't think
that I had anything to do with this.

You know, Mr. Stephens, lots
of people have the idea that

the District Attorney's
office

is only interested in convicting
people and sending them to jail.

You mean,
you have a bad public image.

Well, the truth is, we're dedicated public
servants. We're concerned about people.

You know, plenty of mayors and
governors have started in my job.

And it would certainly
be a shame

to hurt a budding political
career by an unpopular case.

Now, if I thought the crime was
serious, I'd prosecute to the hilt.

But, after all, taking a fire engine.
So the old guy's a little eccentric.

No one was hurt. So, instead of
subjecting the people of this city

to a long and expensive
trial... With lots of publicity.

My office is prepared to reduce
the charge to disturbing the peace.

Now, if Mr. Franklin
will just plead guilty,

I can assure you he'll get a
suspended sentence or a light fine.

Mr. Hawkins, I take back everything
I've ever said about the D.A.'s office.

We don't have to wait
four weeks for a misdemeanor.

Just have him down at
Division 20 day after tomorrow.

Darrin, have you seen this
about your friend Ben Franklin?

It's terrific!
Oh, sorry to interrupt.

You know, you can't buy
this kind of publicity.

I'd like you to meet Mr. Hawkins
of the D.A.'s office.

How do you do?
How do you do?

The Franklin Electronics Corporation
are going to be in seventh heaven!

What a send-off for the campaign.
So it was a gimmick, huh?

Stephens,
the charge is grand theft.

And I intend to see that
Franklin, or whoever he is,

is prosecuted
to the full extent of the law.

Mr. Hawkins, is the trial back
to four weeks away?

And lose all this publicity?

Day after tomorrow, Stephens.
Felony court.

Oh, now there are
TV people outside.

And it's attracted the
entire neighborhood. Oh.

Aunt Clara, you have
to remember that spell.

We have to get Benjamin Franklin
back here.

Yes. Yes. Uh-oh.
I'll try and stall them.

Samantha Stephens?
I'm Bill Whalen of WXIW News,

and I'd like to speak
to Mr. Franklin, please.

I'm sorry,
but he has no comment.

Oh, but even no comment from
Mr. Franklin is news. Where is he?

Now, that's funny.
I've got something in my eye.

Why don't you come back
when you've gotten it out?

She did it! She wiggled
her nose! I saw her!

I saw the whole thing
from the beginning!

First, pow!
Benjamin Franklin. Next...

Next what?
Uh, who are you?

Franklin Pierce, sir,14th
President of the United States.

Aunt Clara!
Oh, I missed it again.

Did I, uh, see
what I thought I saw?

Must have been that something
in your eye.

Aunt Clara, when you
got Benjamin Franklin,

you were trying for
an electrician to fix my lamp.

Yes, that was the spell,
but I couldn't work it out.

Oh, that Gladys Kravitz is
telling that television

reporter everything
she's seen!

And then she raised her arms
like this

and said, "Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps..."

Yeah, yeah, lady. Sure.
She did!

She said it all!

Aunt Clara,

did it begin, "Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps"?

Oh, that's it, that's it! Hark
ye, Witches who live in lamps!

Oh, yes. Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps.

Sam, don't let her
point at me!

Darrin,
where'd you come from?

Well, I saw the crowd outside,
so I snuck around back.

What is going on?

Aunt Clara's remembered
the spell.

Good ahead, Aunt Clara.
Oh.

Hark ye...

Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps,

uh, the power of watts
and uhms and amps,

uh, and, and, um,

the wizards
of AC/DC transmission,

send to me an electrician!

As you were saying,
Mr. Stephens...

Oh! Mr. Franklin,
thank heaven you're back!

I wasn't aware that I'd left.

But if this is the reception
you give return voyagers,

I must go away more often.

What has transpired
during my absence?

Well, for one thing, the
trial's day after tomorrow.

Day after tomorrow?

And the District Attorney's
out for blood.

He thinks this whole thing is
some kind of advertising stunt.

Darrin, sh-shouldn't we get
Mr. Franklin a lawyer?

[Darrin] Honey, we can't!
What could we tell him?

Mr. Franklin,
couldn't you defend yourself?

No, that might be unwise, sir. The
man who defends himself in court

has a fool for a lawyer
and a jackass for a client.

Abraham Lincoln said that.

Abraham who?

Whoever,
he stole it from me.

[Sam] Maybe Darrin's right.

After all, Mr. Franklin,
you are innocent.

Mrs. Stephens, it's the
innocent who need an attorney.

The guilty can lie for
themselves.

Oh, I like that.
Remind me to remember that.

Uh... May I also remind
you that I told you

the District Attorney thinks this
whole thing is a publicity stunt

and he's going to use that to turn the
jury's sympathy against Mr. Franklin?

Well, we know it isn't true.

The only way we can get
public sympathy on our side

is for the people to see
and hear Mr. Franklin.

Sam, there isn't time.
The trial is one day away.

Darling, you forget
you're married to a witch.

Now, I can't change
public opinion,

but I can help it along
a little bit.

Boys and girls,

for today's
Celebrity Day assembly,

we are honored
to have with us

a member of America's team
of astronauts.

It is a great pleasure
to present to you

someone who could be the
first American on the moon...

Benjamin Franklin.

Thank you.

Oh. Oh, yes,
Samantha, dear. Yes.

Yes, I think I can handle
that. Right. Right away.

And that, ladies and
gentlemen, wraps up this

edition of WXIW
afternoon news.

This is Bill Whalen signing
off until 6:00 this evening.

Correction, please. There
seems to be one more item.

In response to the sudden wave
of Benjamin Franklin fever

which is sweeping the city, this
station invites all interested viewers

to call us collect
to express their opinion.

Oh! I did it! I did it!

Oh, won't Samantha
be pleased!

[Steele on radio] This is The Real Don
Steele happening on Boss Radio, baby.

And those were the Nebishes
with their latest release

Snarl, Baby, Snarl
If You Love Me.

And now, gang, what
you have been waiting for.

The number one sound on
the all new Big Boss 30 survey,

Ben Franklin delivers
a speech

to the Pennsylvania
Constitutional Convention.

How about that, fun devils?

I like it, I like it.

There's a front-page story
on Mr. Franklin in every paper.

Mmm-hmm. They've been talking
all day about it on television.

Shall I turn it on? Oh, no,
please. Please, Aunt Clara.

Enough's enough.
That was Larry on the phone.

He can't get it through his
head that all this publicity

isn't somehow connected with the
Franklin Electronics Account.

Um, will it help, sir, if I
speak to the gentleman myself?

Oh, no, no, Mr. Franklin. About
the only thing that would help now

is for you to be acquitted
and then just to...

Disappear.

I understand. But what
if I'm not acquitted?

What would you do
if you're convicted?

I'd go to jail, madam.

I wish you were
a little more optimistic.

Optimists, madam, believe that
all will turn out for the best.

They are, therefore,
constantly disappointed.

I, on the other hand,
prepare myself for the worst.

Should it not occur,
I am delightfully surprised.

Oh! That's cute.

Now, if you will excuse me,

I must get back to preparing
my address to the court.

Stop worrying.

Uh-uh. Start.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

I intend to prove that the
defendant, whoever he is,

has used the honored name
of Benjamin Franklin

as part
of an advertising campaign,

the sole purpose of which
is to sell transistor radios.

Now, unfortunately, there's no
law against tasteless advertising.

But in the process
of his activities,

the defendant made a mistake.

He stole a valuable public
monument, a rare old fire engine

that was on display in front
of Fire Station Number Three.

Now, such a crime is more
serious than ordinary theft

because the man who steals
public property

steals not only from one man,
but from everyone.

Oh, an excellent point,
an excellent point.

It's your turn, Mr. Franklin.

[Franklin] Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

human reason
is a very uncertain thing

because two people can arrive
at diametrically opposed

positions from the
same premise.

Consequently, I think
that a good, sure instinct

is worth a great deal more.

Now, the District Attorney, I fear,
has set himself a very difficult task.

First he must prove
that I stole a fire engine.

Now, what motive could a man
have for stealing a fire engine,

unless, of course, he needed
one to put out a fire?

And, second, the District
Attorney must prove

that I am not Benjamin Franklin
but, in fact, an impostor.

If he succeeds,
I shall have to conclude

that not only have I been mistaken as
to my identity all these many years,

but that my honored father and mother
were somewhat confused at my birth.

You are the head librarian at the
main branch of the public library?

That's right.
And is that the man

who walked into your library
a few days ago?

Yes, that's him,
Benjamin Franklin.

Just yes and no will do.

What happened
when he approached you?

Well, of course,
there was quite a disturbance.

I mean,
everyone started whispering.

And you can't have that
sort of thing in a library.

I mean,
there are signs all over.

[Hawkins] Then you would say he
definitely created a disturbance?

Yes.
Uh, what else did he do?

He wanted to pay a library fine on
a book that was 200 years overdue.

He wanted to pay
a library fine

on a book that was overdue
for 200 years.

Not exactly. You see, he
didn't actually have the book.

But he said that
he had neglected to return it,

and it had been on his
conscience for 200 years.

Your witness, sir.
No questions, Your Honor.

You've made my point. I'm
nothing, if not an honest man.

You mean to say
that the defendant actually

walked out on the stage and made a
speech to the students in the auditorium?

Yes, sir. He did. Well, had
you planned to have him speak?

No, we planned
a totally different speaker.

I don't even know
why I announced him.

[Hawkins] So he completely
disrupted your assembly?

Well, at
first he did, but then...

Naturally, you were outraged.
Well, yes, in the beginning...

Please, just...
Just answer the question.

He's trying to,
but you won't let him finish.

Boy, would I love
to put a hex on him.

How do you think he'd
look as a duck? Sam!

Go on, sir. But what?

Well, I just wanted to say that he
gave the finest speech I've ever heard.

He talked about America
as the land of opportunity,

an education
as something precious.

Even more precious because
it was available to everyone.

What was the reaction
of the students?

Well, you know modern
kids are pretty sophisticated.

They can tell a phony
a mile off.

But you could have heard a pin
drop while he was speaking.

And afterwards, they cheered
him for five minutes.

Thank you.

Any more questions
for this witness, Counselor?

No more questions, Your Honor.

No questions, Your Honor.

I think if the jury went out
now, they'd convict the D.A.

Well, I'm ready to
rest my case.

I call Darrin Stephens
to the stand.

If only he were ready
to rest his.

And have you ever discussed
the idea

of using Benjamin Franklin as
part of an advertising approach

to the Franklin Electronics
Account?

I never brought it up.

Well, did anyone in your
office bring it up?

Uh, yes.

Who?
My boss.

[Hawkins] Mr. Stephens,
I just have one more question.

Who is that man
sitting at that table?

Remember, you're under oath.

To the best of my knowledge,
Benjamin Franklin.

Does he really believe that?

You know something
even crazier?

I'm beginning to believe it.

And when Mrs. Stephens
introduced me,

she said they were going
to a costume party.

But I knew that wasn't true.

- You see, she...
- [Hawkins] You, uh, didn't believe her?

Oh, of course not. I knew how he
had gotten there. They cast...

[Hawkins] Did Mr. Tate,
Mr. Stephens' boss, join you then?

But I wanted to tell you...
What did he say?

He said, "Good night, Ben."

And then he sort of winked.

Thank you, Mrs. Kravitz.
That'll be all.

But don't I get to tell you
what I know about her?

Only if someone asks you.

Your witness, Mr. Franklin.

Mr. Franklin,
you can't cross-examine her.

But I must.
Her testimony's very damaging.

It'll be a lot more damaging
if she gets a chance to go on.

No questions, Your Honor.

That'll be all, madam.
You may step down.

Well!

The prosecution rests,
Your Honor.

This court will recess
for 15 minutes.

Time
to start worrying again, right?

Right. It was going fine
until I got on the stand.

I'm afraid, with Mr. Stephens'
testimony and that of the Kravitz woman,

the District Attorney has
established a plausible motive

for someone taking
a vintage fire engine.

Vintage fire engine.

Vintage! I'll be right back.

Mr. Franklin,
call me as your next witness.

[Franklin] Would you
tell the jury, Mrs. Stephens,

where you got the plaque
you hold in your hand?

From the fire engine
at Station Number Three.

Would you read the
inscription, please?

"Benjamin Franklin
Memorial Fire Engine."

Your Honor, I'd like to enter
this plaque as Exhibit A.

Your Honor,
may I ask a question?

If it's relevant. How
can the District Attorney

accuse Mr. Franklin of
stealing his own property?

He hasn't proved
he is Benjamin Franklin.

And you, sir, have not proved
that I am not.

I will admonish this gallery
only once.

Another outburst like that, and
I'll have this courtroom cleared.

Thank you, Your Honor.
No more questions.

Do you believe the defendant
is Benjamin Franklin?

Yes.
How can you be so sure?

All you have to do is look
at him and listen to him talk.

That's no answer.
How do you know?

Well, if he isn't,

why would he have tried to pay for
a book that was 200 years overdue?

Mrs. Stephens, do you know
the penalty for perjury?

Oh, hush up.
Your Hon...

Now, I don't see that
it makes any difference

whether he's Benjamin Franklin
or not.

He represents Mr. Franklin,
doesn't he?

Now, the District Attorney accuses him
of creating a disturbance in the library.

But he doesn't mention
the fact

that he was honest enough
to pay a 200-year-old fine

or that Benjamin Franklin
created the first public library.

He also accuses him
of taking a fire engine.

But he doesn't mention
the fact

that Benjamin Franklin started the
first volunteer fire department.

Aren't you going to object
to this, Counselor?

Doesn't look that way,
Your Honor.

Now, it seems to me that,
whoever he is,

all this gentleman has done
since he's been here

is to remind us of the wonderful
things that Benjamin Franklin has done

and of the heritage of wisdom
that he left us.

Now, if I were
the District Attorney,

I'd want to thank him instead
of trying to send him to jail.

Objection!

I think you're a little late,
Counselor.

Congratulations, Mr. Franklin.
Thank you, sir.

I knew you could do it.
Congratulations, Mr. Franklin.

Thank you, sir.
That was a great speech, Sam!

Oh, thank you, Larry.

Mr. Franklin,

this jury has found you
not guilty,

a judgment
in which the court concurs.

You are free to go, but I would
like to ask you one question.

Do you intend to continue
being Benjamin Franklin?

Your Honor,

I believe that a man's wisdom,
if he have any,

should be left
to future generations

to measure against
their own circumstances.

If a man lives
beyond his time

and attempts to impose old
notions upon new generations,

he puts himself
in very grave danger

of losing any claim
to wisdom at all.

Therefore, Your Honor,

although I shall continue
to be Benjamin Franklin,

for I can do no other,

I shall no longer be that untimely
gentleman in your gracious company.

Good day, sir.

Well, if he isn't,
he ought to be.

Court's adjourned.

Aunt Clara, I don't think
this is such a good idea.

Mr. Franklin, you said
yourself it was time to go back.

And so I shall, sir,

after this dear lady and I have a
night, as you put it, on the town.

But didn't you once say,
"Early to bed, early to rise

"makes a man healthy,
wealthy and wise"?

Yes, I did, I did. But that
was before the electric light.

Don't you think that your escort
should be more appropriately dressed?

I'll get
one of Darrin's suits.

No, no, no, no.
I can do it.

Is this a button loose on your coat,
Mr. Franklin? Well, I hadn't noticed.

Tarrel, Tarrel,

morning glorious.

Correct "Appel"...
Apparel,

Sartor sartorious.

Ooh! Oh, I goofed again.

Oh, no!

No, Aunt Clara.
You look beautiful!

Madam, you are
a vision of loveliness.

Oh, I congratulate you all for
living in this marvelous 20th century

where such things
are possible.

Oh, let us go on, madam.

Well, uh, don't wait up,
children.

Good night.

Oh!

Oh, I'm sure they'll be
all right, sweetheart.

After all,
they're both over 200.