All language subtitles for Bewitched.S03E08.Dangerous.Diaper.Dan.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Louise, I don't want to hear about
it. I'm not interested. I don't...

Really?

What? Who?

They didn't?

They did?
Sam?

The Camden's had a fight,
and he left the house?

Sam?
When?

Last night. And he took
all the wedding presents?

Sam!

Oh, um, hi, sweetheart.

Uh, breakfast will be ready
in a minute.

You said that
20 minutes ago.

Louise, I'll call you back.
I can't talk now.

Honey, you know
how I hate gossip.

Darrin, I wouldn't even listen to
anything about anyone unless it was good.

And, boy, was that good!

Samantha!
Okay, Darrin.

I'll get it.

It's diaper day.

Diaper Dan, at your service.
Hi, Mrs. Stephens.

Just put it down
anywhere, Dan. Ma'am.

Say, you know, Mrs. Stephens,
your husband being

in the advertising business
gave me an idea.

Oh?
Here...

Here.
I thought it up myself.

"Compliments of Diaper
Dan." Oh, isn't that cute?

Oh no, you keep the rattle,
Mrs. Stephens.

I want your baby to have
the first one on the block.

Well, thank you, Dan.
That's very sweet of you.

Well, I gotta be going.

Oh say, did you happen to see the
moving van in front of the Kirkeby's?

The Kirkeby's are moving? Not
only that. Wait till you hear why.

The fountain of trivia
runneth over.

Dan, I'm not interested.

Well, it's just that Harry,
Mr. Kirkeby,

and his secretary--
that gorgeous blonde...

How gauche.

Well, maybe just
a word or two.

Sam, for heaven sakes!
Dan?

I really have to be going.
So long, Mrs. Stephens.

Sam, can't you understand that
loose talk can be a dangerous thing?

All right, all right,
Darrin, you're right.

- Even Mother agrees with you.
- Up to a point.

It's not that I'm opposed
to gossip, you understand.

It's this banal, mundane type
that bores me.

Darrin, I was not gossiping.
I was listening.

Besides, who's going to know
what's been said here today?

That's what Lincoln said
in his Gettysburg Address.

[Darrin on tape] How you can
even listen to him is beyond me.

[Sam on tape] But,
darling, Dan meant no harm.

[Darrin on tape] Dan has got a big mouth.

Hello, this is Dragonfly
calling Mother Hubbard. Over.

Mother Hubbard calling
Dragonfly. We read you. Go ahead.

Well, it worked. I planted
a mic in the baby's rattle.

Everything's coming in
loud and clear.

Good work. Report in
as soon as you can. Over.

Roger and out.

Hello, Louise.

Oh, I just had a hunch
it was you.

Yes, Darrin's left.

Well, we had a few words,
but everything's all right now.

Yes. I think it's just because he's been
working so hard on that Wright campaign,

but he's come up
with some wonderful ideas.

The only good idea he ever had
was marrying you, I regret to say.

Shh, Mother.
Hmm?

Oh, yes, I'm sure
Larry's going to love them.

He thought of
a marvelous slogan.

"The Wright pen is
the write pen for you."

Wright. Like in W-R-I-G-H-T.
And write,

like in W-R-I-T-E.

Heh. Clever, huh?

Heh!

[Sam on tape] Like in W-R-I-G-H-T.

And "write" like in W-R-I-T-E.
Heh. Clever, huh?

I'll say it is!

Peterson, get right on it.

Use everything
that's on that tape.

Yes, sir, Mr. Kimberley.

I'll pull that Wright account

right out
from under McMann and Tate.

What I wouldn't give to see Larry Tate's
face when he makes his presentation.

What do you mean you've
already seen this presentation?

We just finished it
last night.

Isn't that true, Darrin?

Yes! Mr. Wright, we've spent

a great deal of time
and thought on this.

We think it's very good.

Oh, it's good. But as I said,

I saw practically the same thing
at the Kimberley office.

At least you
could be more original.

More original?
More original!

Nobody's more original than McMann
and Tate. Furthermore, Mr...

Steady, Larry, steady. Mr. Wright,
before you make any decisions,

we'll get started on another
presentation right away.

Fair enough?

Fair enough.

I'll give you 24 hours.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I can't understand it.

How could Kimberley
come up with the same idea?

Well, it happens, Larry.
It happens.

We'll just have to chalk it
up to coincidence. Uh-oh.

Don't look now,
but guess who just came in.

Who?
Kimberley.

Maybe if we ignore him,
he'll crawl away.

Well, Tate and Stephens.
This is a coincidence.

I was just
saying the same thing, A.J.

Were you?
How's business, Tate?

Oh, make a million,
lose a million.

I just heard about your tough
luck with the Wright account.

Well, you can't win them all.

So who says we lost it?

Well, I just
took it for granted.

We'll think of something, A.J.

I'm sure you will, Stephens.

Just as long as
we don't think of it first.

Mr. Kimberley, I believe
our table's ready, sir.

Oh. Well, see you
in the rat race, boys.

And there goes king rat. Meaning,
you don't trust Kimberley.

I wouldn't trust him as far
as I could throw an elephant.

An elephant.
Larry, that's it!

I've got an idea
for a new presentation.

I'll see you at the office.

It's just one of those things,
honey. A coincidence.

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
You mean, you lost the account?

Not yet. Your old Darrin's
still in there pitching.

But I will be working
late tonight.

I've got this great idea
about an elephant

and a whole new slogan.

"An elephant never forgets,
but if you do,

write it down with the Wright
pen and you'll always remember."

Oh, that's marvelous!

Bye, darling.

[Endora] Pitch for it. There!

Oh, you want the crackers!
Well, hex it over for Grandmama.

There. That's a
good girl. Mother!

Now what? Don't encourage
her. Tabatha, mustn't twitch.

If Darrin ever catches you,
he'll be furious.

He'll never catch me. Besides,
the way your husband works nights,

I have this peculiar feeling
you're married to a night watchman.

It's an emergency, Mother.

Darrin's working on
a simply marvelous new idea.

Isn't he always?

Naturally!
But this one's a gas.

A... A what?

Oh, that's advertising talk
for sensational.

I want my rattle.

There you are. I probably
shouldn't mention it.

But it really is brilliant.

Darrin has an idea about using an
elephant and a slogan that goes,

"An elephant never forgets. If you
do, write it down with a Wright pen,

and you'll always remember."

[Sam on tape] "...you'll always remember."

How about that?
Great!

Yeah, I like it.

Peterson, rush it to the art
department, then over to Wright.

Yes, sir.

What? You couldn't possibly
have already seen these!

But I have, Mr. Tate,
just an hour ago.

Gentlemen, your lack of inventiveness
leaves me no alternative,

but to take
my account elsewhere.

Uh, Mr. Wright.
Mr. Wright!

We realize that presentations can be
coincidental. It's just one of those things.

But we'll come up with
the winner, I promise you.

[Wright] Well, I'll have
to make a decision soon.

[Darrin] Thank you, Mr. Wright.
You won't be sorry.

Larry! Larry, take it
easy. Take it easy.

I tell you, Darrin,
there's a spy in this company.

Come on, Larry, You've
been seeing too many movies.

Once can be a coincidence.
I'll buy that. But twice? Never!

I hate to admit it,
but you may be right.

I know I'm right.

Uh, Larry,
what are you doing?

I'm looking for a hidden
microphone. Your office must be bugged.

What's this?

So you put it in here, huh,
you little rascal?

Aha!

What's this?

Larry, this is a job
for professionals.

If there is a mic planted
in here, we'll never find it.

You're right. I'll get
Security up here at once.

I'll have every lock replaced and
the combination of the safe changed.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this
if I have to give a lie detector test

to everybody in the firm,
including myself... and you!

Thank you.

Larry, is this really
necessary? Absolutely.

This final presentation
is top secret.

I don't want you even to talk to
Sam about it. Now, that's an order.

Yes, sir.
I was thinking...

Shh, shh.
What's the matter?

The olive. The olive?

The olive.

It may be bugged.

A mic?

A pimento.

Oh, hi, sweetheart!

Hi, darling.
Still here, huh?

Oh! Heh. Well, I certainly
wouldn't leave without waiting

or Mr. Charm to come home.

Oh, now, now, Mother.

Sweetheart, you look tired. Why
don't you sit down and unwind?

Dinner will be ready
in a little while.

Honey, hold it! Hold
it! What in the world?

Larry's idea. I've got
the key here somewhere.

Really, Durwood.

Aren't you carrying this ridiculous
cloak and dagger business too far?

Ridiculous? Two of my best ideas
stolen, and she calls it ridiculous.

We checked the office,
everything!

Of course.

There's a bug
in this house.

I beg your pardon!

Mother, Darrin wasn't
referring to you, were you?

Were you?
No, honey, a bug.

A microphone,
a hidden microphone.

It could be hidden anywhere.
In a lamp, under the table.

Honey, have you discussed the
Wright campaign with anyone?

No. Only Mother. I
wouldn't repeat that drivel.

And Louise on the phone.

The phone? That's it!
They've tapped the phone.

Honey, from now on, you're
to stay away from that phone.

You're not to talk to
anybody. Not to anybody!

Now, wait just a minute.
Because I casually mention

your campaign to my mother
and your boss's wife,

are you trying to blame me
for your troubles?

Confiding in a woman is
like broadcasting by Telstar!

Well then, you shouldn't have told
me about it in the first place.

Well, you shouldn't
have listened to me!

You don't have to shout.
I'm not shouting!

Perhaps you'd prefer it if
I didn't speak to you at all.

That would suit me just fine,
and that would be like declaring

a global news blackout.

I have a good mind
to go home to Mother!

What for?
Your mother's always here!

I'm telling you, Chief, they're not
even speaking to each other. Over.

Well, don't just sit there on
your diapers. Do something. Over.

Leave it to me.
Roger and out.

Mother, look.
Aren't they gorgeous?

Let's see. Oh!

Ohh... "From Darrin,
with all his trust and love."

Oh, Mother, isn't he wonderful?
I was afraid he'd chicken out.

"Darrin,
with love, Samantha."

What a sweetheart.

All right...
All right, you can take

your new rattle to bed
with you. Here you go.

Now, come on, turn around.
Let me get this button fastened.

[Sam] There. Pretty bow.

Pretty bow
and the kitty cats...

Hi, honey.
Oh! Hi, sweetheart.

Hello, darling.
You look tired.

Yeah, I've still got a lot more work
to do on the Wright presentation.

But, first...

Oh, Darrin, more roses.

My, you certainly
are extravagant, but sweet.

I like
the tie you sent me.

What do you mean,
"more roses"? Why, these.

I didn't send you
any tie. You didn't?

Oh, wait a minute. Mother
sent us each a present

to patch up our quarrel.

Endora?
Are you kidding?

Well, sometimes she does
what you don't expect of her

just to keep you from thinking that
you know what to expect from her.

Come to think of it,
she did agree with me

the other morning--
that's a switch.

See what I mean?
Mother's a switchy witch.

Well, this is it, honey. The meeting's
at 10:00 and it's our last chance,

so there had better not be another
coincidence. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Will you call me and let me know
how it went? I sure will. Bye.

Oh, sweetheart,
what about those?

Oh, those are just rough
preliminary sketches I made.

Oh.
Wish me luck.

Good luck.

Good morning, Samantha.
Good morning, Mother.

Oh, more roses
from Lover Boy?

The red ones are from him.

Mother, he came up

with the most marvelous idea
for the campaign.

He was up all night working
on it, but it was worth it.

Everything's gonna turn out
just perfectly.

Oh, naturally,
here in happiness house.

It wouldn't dare work out
any other way.

Pooh.

Have you sunk
to that level of repartee?

Pretty? What do you mean,
the red roses are from him?

Now, Mother, go ahead,
admit it.

You know you sent the others.
I sent them?

And Darrin wants me to thank
you for the lovely necktie.

How utterly preposterous!

Not that I wouldn't like
to give Durwood a necktie.

Very funny.
Sweet, isn't it?

Oh, Mother, wait a minute.

If you didn't send them,
who did?

I haven't
the faintest idea.

And what's more, I couldn't
possibly care less.

Well, I care.

Um, Pat... Paterson...

Paterson Florist.

Information, could I have
the phone number

for the Paterson Florist,
please?

Oh, this is what
she calls brilliant?

He gets paid for this?

Are you sure
there isn't some mistake?

Well, there's no reason
in the world for him to send--

Well, you see he's our--

You're positive? All right,
thank you. Thank you very much.

Diaper Dan?

Diaper Dan?

Diaper Dan?

Oh, well, since I merely possess
supernatural powers of the highest degree,

perhaps I'm not expected
to understand.

Would you mind telling me
what is so brilliant

about an astronaut in an ad?
Or this...

nauseating slogan,
"When you fly to the moon,

"you'll still be writing
with the Wright pen.

For there's only one right way
to go into space,

and only one right way
to write"?

Whew! Mercy!
Mother, listen.

Of all the
idiotic things I've ever...

Mother.
What?

Of course!

[Endora] But "of course" what?

Oh, how stupid!

Well...
Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Well, that's what I was saying
about these scribblings

of your husband's.
Shh!

Mother? What?

Do you remember what
Darrin said about a bug

being in the house that
could be hidden anywhere?

Mother, there it is!
There's the bug.

There goes Diaper Dan!
And thanks to you,

there goes another one
of Darrin's ideas.

Oh, splendid, Samantha!

Wait till you see this one.

Out of the mouths of babes.

Something wrong, Dan?

I lost my engine.

Who said that?

I did, Dan, I did.

Can I help?

May I, Samantha?
Be my guest.

Oh, smashing, Mother!

Ohh...

Oh, well,
what'd I tell ya?

Oh, my! Goodness me.
Good morning, sweetheart.

Well, you certainly are

in a good mood this morning.

Couldn't be better. Coffee's
good, my paper's here.

I've got a beautiful wife and a
satisfied client. You couldn't miss.

The presentation
was sensational.

I caught a glimpse of it
the other night.

- You saw it?
- Mm-hmm.

And you thought
I couldn't keep a secret.

Well, what do you know.

Hmm. I'll get it.

Good morning, Mrs. Stephens.
Good morning, Dan.

You can just put it
right over there.

Oh.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Mrs. Stephens, there'll be
a drew niver stopping by.

I mean, a new driver stopping
by for a while.

He's going on...

I mean,
I'm going on vacation.

How nice!
Have a good time.

Good time? I'm spending a month
at the Country Air Rest Home.

Did Dan say he was going
to a rest home? Yes, dear.

Well, he did seem
a little confused.

You might even say
he was... rattled.