All language subtitles for Bewitched.S02E17.Maid.to.Order.Imprint.Black.and.White.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Mother!

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Just what do you think
you're doing?

It's called
vacuuming the draperies.

Excuse me. Honey,
I don't want you

bending and stretching
like that.

Not in your condition.

Well, I appreciate
your concern,

but I'm fine.

And I want to
keep it that way.

I don't want you
to lift a finger

until after
the baby comes.

But, Darrin--

I don't mind you doing
a little light housework

as long as you
don't tax your strength.

But no bending
and stretching.

You sit right down there.

I'm going to bring you
a glass of milk.

Samantha...

turn it off.

That settles it.

We'll hire a maid.
What?

Louise and Larry
have a maid.

Esmeralda.
She's a jewel.

Well, I appreciate
the offer, Darrin,

but I don't want a maid.

Why not?

Because I don't want
a total stranger

running my household.

She won't run it,
honey.

She'll just
help you run it.

Besides,
after the baby comes,

we'll have a built-in
baby-sitter.

I'll call the agency
tomorrow

and they'll send
some girls

for you to interview.

Darrin, I don't--
Sam,

I'm concerned about
the health and comfort

of my wife and child.

You really mean that,
don't you?

Yeah. All right, all right.

Bring on the girls.

I'll interview them.
And if I find one

that doesn't frighten me,
I'll hire her.

Thank you.
My pleasure.

I hope.

Mrs. Darrin Stephens?

Yes. I'm from the
employment agency.

My name is
Mrs. Luftwaffe.

Mrs. Luftwaffe?

It's European.
Shall we be seated?

Yes.

My terms are as follows:

I do no cooking, washing,
ironing or heavy cleaning.

I arise at 9 a.m.

I have every Saturday
and Sunday off,

leaving at noon on Friday
and returning at noon on Monday.

My room must have
a color television set,

and I reserve the right
to choose my own wallpaper.

I see.

Now, about references...

Yes.
I'll look at them now.

You want to see my references?

From former housekeepers.

Well, I'm afraid
there haven't been any.

Oh, that's bad.

I have a rule against
working for beginners.

Well, in that case,
I won't take--

However, if I decide
you have possibilities,

I might make an exception.

How do you decide
if I have possibilities?

I inspect how neat
you keep your kitchen.

Well, I don't think
that'll be necessary.

I'm sure I don't come up
to your standards.

I'll be the judge of that.

Now, where is it?

What?

The kitchen.

Oh.
Follow me.

Right that way.

Hi there!

I'm the maid
from the employment agency.

You are?

Yeah.

I always get that reaction
at first.

I mean, just because
a girl is a maid

is no reason not to
make the most of her appearance.

Right?

I guess not.
And you certainly have.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, this is
a groovy-looking house.

Yeah, real groovy.

It has a fun feeling
about it, you know?

What does
your husband do?

He's in advertising.

Groovy.

Maybe he could cast me
in a coast-to-coast commercial.

I'm very photogenic.

Here are references from the
last five husbands I worked for.

Don't references
generally come from the wives?

Not in my case.

Somehow I always
seem to establish

better rapport
with the husbands.

Isn't that funny?

Hysterical.

Is your husband
a good dancer?

Groovy.

Would you like to
see a picture?

I'd adore it.

This is my Darrin.

Sweetie,
it's nothing personal,

but I do have
other people to see.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Naomi Hogan.

I'm a refined widow,

and if the job is still open,
I'll take it.

I have my own uniforms,

I love children

and I need the money.

How do you like me so far?

So far, I like you just fine.

But I bet you'd like
to know more about me.

Yes, I would.

Shall we be seated?

Well, I was born
in Cincinnati,

the eldest daughter
of a poor but honest

freelance upholsterer.

Mrs. Hogan--
Oh, call me Naomi.

All right, Naomi,

I wanted to know more about your
experience as a housekeeper.

Yes.
I was afraid you would.

Why?

Because lately my experience
has been lousy.

Due to a clash
of personalities,

I have lost five jobs
in the past four weeks.

Clash of personalities
over what?

Well, my general incompetence,
my inedible cooking

and my nervous habit
of breaking whatever I touch.

Well, you have
one obvious virtue.

What's that?

You're honest.

Oh, I'm also desperate.

You see, I'm sending my son
through medical school

and if I don't get a job today,

I won't be able
to meet the deadline

on next semester's tuition.

I'll clean,
I'll scrub, I'll slave,

and I'll also sign a note
at 10 percent interest

for everything I break.

Naomi...

Yes, ma'am.

You're hired.

You're kidding.

So the drunk says
to the gorilla,

"Lady, don't brush me off

just because you're wearing
a mink coat."

Why aren't you laughing,
Louise?

Dear, I've heard that joke
at least 50 times.

Mm-hm.

And what's your excuse, Sam?

Hm?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Larry.

She was busy worrying
about our new maid.

And I don't blame her.

We really should have postponed
this till next week.

You don't have company the first
night you have a new maid.

You give her time
to get adjusted.

[Larry] That's ridiculous.

If she came from the same agency
that sent us Esmeralda,

she's a seasoned veteran.

Samantha, why don't you go out

and see how she's doing.

I know you're dying to.

Yes, I think I will.

Excuse me.

How ya doing?

Oops!

Oh, dear, I'm sorry.

That's all right.

It was my fault.
I startled you.

Well, back to
the old lettuce bin.

Have you followed
my recipe

for Parisian consommé?

I tried to,

but consommé
isn't exactly my long suit.

I see what you mean.

Have you
tasted it yet?

No. Uh, not yet.

Maybe I'd better.

In your condition,
it might not be safe.

No, it just needs
a little stirring.

See?

Oh, that's terrific.
Mm...

Thank you.

I mean,
congratulations.

How about that.

I made
Parisian consommé.

Now, let's see how well
you did with the roast.

[Naomi] Is it too well-done?

No. No, not really.

You're just saying that
to be nice.

It looks like
a king-size prune.

It just needs
a little basting.

What a baste.

Mrs. Stephens,

that's the best roast
I ever executed.

Well,

it looks like
dinner's all ready.

Now, I'll go
and seat the guests,

and you serve
the consommé.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh! And, Naomi,

keep up the good work.

Yes, ma'am.

Mmmm. Superb.

I may not know anything
about cooking,

but I know about eating,

and this entire meal
was magnificent.

Amen.

Thank you. You
mean, thank Naomi.

Yes, thank Naomi.

Morning, Naomi.

Good morning.

Why are you still here
on your day off?

I'm waiting for you
to approve

my first week estimate

on what I cost you
in breakage.

Five, seven, nine,
13, 19, 25,

8, 12, 21, 27,

14 dollars and 75 cents.

I figure 5 bucks
for cups and saucers,

$4 for ashtrays,
2.50 for plates.

Naomi, we're insured.

And even if we weren't,

your son needs that money
more than we do.

Mrs. Stephens,
you're the kindest lady

I ever worked for.

And the best homemaker.

Really?

I can't explain it,

but with you around

to give me handy hints,

I can do things
that I could never do before.

Want me to fix breakfast?

No. No, you run along
and have a nice day.

You know what
working for you is like?

What?

It's like all of a sudden
I found my good fairy.

Good morning, Naomi.

Good morning,
Mr. Stephens.

Today is your day
off, isn't it? Yes.

I'm leaving as soon as
I get my purse.

Well, have a good day.

Hello.

Darrin, Louise.

In trouble.

Esmeralda was
just called out of town

because of illness
in her family,

and tonight
I'm having a formal dinner party

for eight people,

including that big-shot
new client What's-His-Name.

Right.
H.J. Simpson.

Well, we know
it's an imposition,

but Larry and I wondered,

would you mind lending us Naomi
for this evening?

To cook that same wonderful meal
we had with you.

We'd be happy
to pay her $15.

Just a second.

Naomi.
Yes, sir.

Would you like to earn
an extra $15?

Oh, I'd love to.

My son, the medical student,

has to get a new pair
of white shoes.

Mrs. Tate needs help
with a dinner party.

What time do you
want her there, Louise?

Oh, about 5:00.

Okay.
Five o'clock.

That's the address.

Thanks a million.

I'll go get a uniform.

It's all set, Louise.

We're not putting you out,
are we?

We really appreciate it.

Don't mention it.

It's Naomi's day off,

so it won't make any difference
to Samantha.

That's okay.

Have a nice party.

Do you still remember
how to cook?

I hope so.

So do I.

Naomi sets
a very high standard.

I may be
very hard to please.

Who called?

Louise Tate.

Oh, about what?

Oh, Esmeralda
had to leave town,

so she hired Naomi
to pinch-hit

on a formal dinner party
for eight people.

May I have
my coffee please, honey?

Naomi!

Naomi!

Naomi?

She's gone!

Honey,
what's the matter?

Louise has to cancel
that dinner party.

She can't.

Why? It's in honor of a client.

Well, then she has
to invite us. Why?

Because if I'm not there
to give Naomi some handy hints,

the evening is going to be
a fiasco.

Sam, will you please tell me
what you're talking about?

Do I have to?
Yes.

Well, it's a...
A long story.

And I have a feeling you're
gonna hate every word of it.

Looks great, Darrin.

Thank you, Larry.

Larry, I've got
a great idea.

Why don't you and Louise
and Samantha and I

have dinner
together tonight?

Well, Sam must've told you
Louise borrowed Naomi.

We're having guests for dinner.

Oh, that's a pity.

I was looking forward
to seeing both of you.

Why?

Oh, just felt like it.

Well, uh,
maybe we'll go for a drive.

Darrin, I'm kind of busy.

Maybe we'll take a drive through
your neighborhood and drop in.

What for?

A bite to eat?

Darrin, I've already told you,

we're having dinner guests.

Larry, it's just as easy
to cook for ten people

as it is for eight.

I don't get it.

Why are you hinting around
to be invited to dinner?

Well, Larry,
we're very fond of Louise

and we don't
see enough of her.

You saw her Friday night.

Yes, and she was so charming
we'd like to see her again.

Okay.

Why don't you come over
to dinner a week from Sunday.

We're busy.
Why don't we come tonight.

Darrin, tonight is business.

I'm wining and dining
old man Simpson

and his son,
old man Simpson, Jr.

I know, and maybe
he'd like to meet

some other members
of your staff.

The only member of my staff
he's interested in meeting

is the man assigned
to his account: Bob Chetley.

Why don't Bob and I
change accounts?

I'll take the Simpson account
and he can take--

Ah,

I finally understand.

You finally understand what?

You're jealous of Bob Chetley.

No, I'm not.

Because I gave
the Simpson account

to him and not to you.

Larry, that's not true.

I think it is.

Look, may we come to dinner
or not?

You know, with a little work,
Darrin,

you could overcome
this terrible shyness of yours.

Yes or no?
No.

Don't beat around the bush.
Give me a straight answer.

Get out of here, Darrin.

Honey, I'll bet you
a thousand dollars

this doesn't work.

Don't be pessimistic.

You never know if something
doesn't work until you try it.

All right.

Well, good evening.
Welcome to--

I don't believe it.

Good evening, Larry.

Here's the book I borrowed
last Christmas.

Thank you.

Do you always get
this dressed up to return books?

No-- Not always,
just occasionally.

As an expectant mother,

I felt a sudden craving
for a formal dinner party.

Samantha, I admire you.

You do?

I like a wife who's interested
in her husband's career,

but don't push him too fast.

Darrin will be made
a vice president

when the time comes,
and not a moment before.

Good night.

Well!

Come on.
Where are we going?

Home. If Larry thinks we're
bucking for a vice presidency,

we're going to stop
trying to help him

and let him drown
in his own fiasco.

What time is it?

Eight o'clock.

The Tate's kitchen must be
a disaster area by now.

Good.

How's your pizza?
Fine.

How's yours?

Delicious.

The sweet pizza
of revenge.

I, uh...
I forgot the napkins.

Naomi...
Yes?

If I didn't know how well
things turn out,

this mess would make me
very nervous.

Well, I'm not used
to flying solo.

Somehow I feel
much more confident

when Mrs. Stephens
is around.

Isn't this Parisian consommé
a little thick?

No. You just
have to stir it.

When Mrs. Stephens
stirred it... It...

There!

Very good.

There.

What took you
so long, honey?

I put the coffee on.

On second thought,
I think I'd rather have tea.

Oh.

Naomi,
you burned it.

It looks like--
Like a king-size prune.

Well, it just
needs to be basted.

Oh, it's hopeless.

Mrs. Tate!

Yes?

What happened?

You see, the secret's
in the basting.

Ah!

Hi.
Ooh!

Uh-oh.
Where have you been?

As if I didn't know.

Darrin, I just can't
stand by idle.

Oh, yes, you can.

Larry Tate is getting
exactly what he deserves.

But Louise isn't.

You're not a woman
so you wouldn't understand,

but one fiasco dinner party
can open wounds

that may never heal!

Well, it's worse
than wearing slacks

when everybody else
is wearing dresses.

Darrin, please!

Please, what?

Let me go back
and help Naomi.

I promise I'll never use
witchcraft again.

You will?

Well...
I'll, uh...

promise to try
and taper off.

Oh, I've got to get back

before something
drastic happens.

Well, I guess just because
I'm having a beef with Larry

is no reason to take it out
on Louise.

That's right.
Well, thank you.

I've got to go
make dessert.

Swell. I suppose you've
got a great dessert planned.

Mm-hm.
Cherries Jubilee.

Boy, I should
get that lucky.

You just have.

Well, back to Naomi.

Good.

Everything's ready
to serve.

You see, I told you

you didn't need
Mrs. Stephens around.

I guess not.

I've got
a very funny feeling, though.

It's as if
someone's watching over me.

Nonsense.

You're a marvelous cook.

Like I said,
somebody up there likes me.

Honey, this is the worst
breakfast I've ever eaten.

I let Naomi
cook it herself.

In line with my new policy

of trying to give up
witchcraft.

When are you going to fire her?

Soon.

When is soon?

As soon as her son graduates
from medical school.

Honey, that's--
Mr. and Mrs. Stephens,

I have something to tell you.

Oh?

You're the most wonderful people
I've ever worked for,

so therefore, I'm quitting.

You are?

You are?

You deserve the absolute tops
in domestic help.

And, let's face it,

I am not the absolute tops.

Sooner or later
you'd have to fire me,

so I'd like to quit now,
before the baby comes,

because even though
I wouldn't do right by it,

I know I'd fall in love with it,

and I couldn't bear to leave it.

So it will work better
all around if I leave now.

Oh, here's an estimate
of my breakage.

Now, Naomi,
you put that away.

I told you we were insured.

Oh, this is what I broke
at Mrs. Tate's.

Oh.

Three, 9, 10, carry 1,

8, 11, 15, carry 1.

Seventeen dollars
and 50 cents.

Well.

Um, Naomi, would you wait for me
in the kitchen, please?

Yes, ma'am.

Darrin, did you hear
how she added these figures?

Uh-huh.
She's a good adder.

Do you think
you could get her a job

in your accounting department?

I bet I could.

Oh, that would kill three birds
with one stone.

How three?

One, it's a good job
that she could keep.

Two, she'd be making
a bigger salary

and could send more money
to her son.

And three, I could go back
to not having a maid.

Honey, do you really
not want to have a maid?

More than anything
I've ever not wanted in my life.

Will you look into it
this morning?

I'll look into it this morning.

Naomi,

Mr. Stephens has just had
a brilliant suggestion.