All language subtitles for Intelligence.S02E01.WEBRip.iview.en

CHRISTINE: We have Jerry Bernstein

from the NSA arriving shortly.

So great to finally meet you.

What was your name again?
Joseph Harries.

Right. John, do you mind me asking?

Do you have dwarfism in your family?

Get me a full background check on
Jerry Bernstein.

I need to see his file.

Someone's actually trying to access
your file right now.

Were you disgraced at the NSA and
forced to take the position here?

No.

(BEEPS)
Motherf...

You have no idea how lucky
you are to have me.

Literally, this is the best thing
that ever happened to me.

I think we could learn a lot
from each other, especially from me.

Did you vote for Brexit?
I don't know. Who is that?

You want to explain to everyone
how you slept with my wife?

Is that why you think I'm here?

The NSA called your case
back into review.

I'm here to take you home.

What it looks like is
you're staging a wedding

in order to avoid immediate
extradition to the United States,

where you're highly likely
to face charges of treason.

It seems like there are now concerns
there may be a mole here at GCHQ.

The f... Huh!

(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

RECORDING: System overload.

System overload. System overload.

System overload. System overload.

Oh!

(ALARM)

No. Understood.

You too.

Fucking hell!

Have Little Mix split up?

Mum?

I can't remember the exact numbers,

but there must have been at least
20, maybe 30 in wheelchairs.

And over 100 dead.

Is this the massacre in
Kuala Lumpur?

No. This was my school reunion.

All of you, boardroom, now.

Plus, you know, the statistics
speak for themselves.

Nearly all terrorists reoffend.

Suicide bombers rarely reoffend.

Yeah, but the point is,

who here can name me
a single white terrorist.

The Unabomber?

Oh, I didn't know he was single.

Yeah, he's even got his own
Netflix show.

OK, I'll keep things brief
and to the point.

I heard one minute ago we currently
have a code red situation

here at GCHQ.

Oh, no.
Are the toilets now working again?

A presently unknown terrorist group

has harnessed cyber weapon
Eternal Blue

and is using it to bring down
Hinkley Point nuclear site.

Oh, shitting tits!
Quite.

In half an hour we could be
looking at another Chernobyl.

I just couldn't get through
the first series, to be honest.

I wouldn't normally
say this out loud,

but given the circumstances,
do you mind shutting the fuck up?

Sure.

What's Eternal Blue?
Jerry.

Right.

So for those of you who don't know,
Eternal Blue is a cyber weapon

designed by the NSA that allows
malware to spread quicker.

I headed up the team
that developed it.

Of course, the NSA still deny
the weapon even exists.

Right.

May have developed it.

How long do we have?

An irreversible and catastrophic
meltdown could begin

in as little as 28 minutes.

I'm not an expert on all this
and I'm well aware

that you told me to shut the fuck up
earlier,

but have they tried switching it off
and on again?

A nuclear reactor?
Yeah.

No.

All we can do now
is put obstacles in place

to try to slow the system failure.

Hang on, wait a second.

OK, so during the test phase
of Eternal Blue,

we built in a manual override.

A coded way that would allow us to
regain full and complete control

should the weapon ever fall into
the wrong hands.

How are you only remembering this
now?

I don't know. Sometimes my brain's
extraordinary like that.

Get to the point.

The point is, it's temperamental.

One wrong move and it can
only make things worse.

Can you or can you not
override Eternal Blue?

I can, but it's password protected.

What's the password?
That is a great question.

I think it's something sweet,
like 'doughnut' or 'Ding Dong'.

Jesus.
Hey, give me a break.

It was more than five years ago.

Do you remember everything
you were doing in 2016?

Well, if I wasn't here, I was
probably campaigning for Brexit.

Look, if you could
just give me one hour,

I'm sure I can remember the password.

In one hour, half of the south-west
of England

will either be on fire
or have cancer.

I had a friend who died like that.
Cheesecake!

Rum baba?
No! It is too risky.

The primary objective has to be
to slow the system failure

at Hinkley Point -
stick to the protocol.

Yeah, but if I could just remember
the password...

And run the risk of
destabilising

the four remaining reactors
when you get it wrong?

No, thanks.

Look, Christine, you and I
were always going to have

a different approach, right?

We're like the Williams sisters.
Yes.

Yes, but when the Williams sisters
play tennis,

half a million lives aren't at
stake.

I don't know. When was the last time
you saw them play?

Tuva, you're on rootkit analysis.
Mary, you're on the ciphertext.

The rest of you, you know the drill.
Wait, is this a drill?

Don't even start. That's an order.

We have 25 minutes.

Spotted dick?

No, that cleared up.

System overload. System overload.
(ALARM WHOOPS)

System overload.

Did I miss any call...?

Evelyn!

Did I miss any calls?

Ah, yeah.

I can't remember her name.

I think she said she was
a secretary or something.

The Secretary of State?

That was it.

She said we need to prepare
two versions of the press release,

just in case.

Mother of God.

How bad is it?

This could result in the biggest
loss of civilian life on UK soil

since World War II.

Maybe we should get
a takeaway tonight.

Start typing.

At 10:15 this morning, we
intercepted a potential cyber threat

to the digital system in place
at Hinkley Point.

No, it's just saying
'file not found'.

Joseph, get in here!

Yeah, two seconds, Jerry.

How are you getting on?
It's really bad.

Oh, no!

Everywhere's booked up.

What do you mean?

I'm trying to get a table for me
and dad and Lumiere's this weekend

but there's literally nothing.

Is that all you've done?
Oh, no, no, no.

I've tried Paparrito's,
Grill 49 and the Coconut Tree

but it's the same everywhere.

Joseph!
Yes, Jerry.

Rootkit analysis
on the second core reactor.

Oh, God, it's endless, isn't it?

Sorry. You right?
OK.

I need your help here.

If I were to say 2016 to you,

what is the first thing
that comes to mind?

Alan Rickman's death.

I have no idea who that is.

He was the guy behind the
Nakatomi Plaza Attack in 1998.

OK, look, I just need a way
of trying to remember

what password I might have chosen
back then.

I mean, it might sound crazy,

but have you tried
regressive hypnotherapy?

No, that's too long.

It would have been a maximum of
10 characters.

OK, you know what?

Let's just quickly just throw
some ideas at me.

See if it triggers anything.
Um...

Were there any special occasions
that year?

Um, no.
Oh, actually, there was my 50th.

And as a gift, Melissa got Botox.

For you?
No, for her.

Oh. Was it a nice?

Not really.
It was like kissing a haemorrhoid.

What about a pet name?

You know what, back then
we actually had several.

There was Flaps.
Yeah.

Mr Mistoffelees.
Yeah.

Whiskers.
And these were for pets?

(MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES)
No, those were for Melissa.

Two seconds. Hey!

Are you kidding?

How's Bude?

Yeah.
Why did you bring in for lunch?

No, I just got in a couple
of Scotch pancakes,

a small carton of orange juice
and some Pom-Bears.

I'll probably just have them as
a snack.

Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry, I'll just go somewhere
a tiny bit quieter.

It's so nice to hear from you again.

Fran, quick question.

Obviously, if age wasn't an issue...

..have you ever fancied children?

Oh, gosh, no.

I don't think that's allowed.

What? Oh, no.

Mary, if I were to say 2016 to you,

what is the first thing
that springs to mind?

Alan Rickman's death?

I've gotta Google that guy.

20 minutes!

Where was I?

Including cardiovascular related
illness and birth defects.

End of press release.

Please tell me something positive.

My tomato plant's doing well.

I meant about the current crisis.

At least it's Friday.

Jesus, how did we miss this?

Well, the thing is, there are just
so many terrorists these days.

I mean, I remember when
there were just three.

What's the ciphertext showing?

Sadly, it's looking like
the second core reactor

may be compromised too.

I thought we were meant to be
buying ourselves some time.

Who's handling the rootkit analysis?

Who's handling the...?
I gave it to Joseph.

Fucking hell. Where is he?

Jerry!
Is it a drill?

Shut up. Where's Joseph?
I don't know. He took a call.

Have you tried the roof?
We're not allowed on the roof.

I know, but I think he found a hole.

Why the hell aren't you
at your desk?

I keep getting the runs
every time I speak...

Boardroom. Now.

Did you remember the password?
I did, actually.

Oh, good. What is it?
It's G-U-L-L-I-B-L-E.

Gullible?
Uh-huh.

Oh, I see what you've done.

Don't bother sitting down.

Mary, tell everyone
what you've just told me.

Oh, my tomato plant is doing...

About the second core reactor!
Of course. Sorry.

So it's looking like the second core
will be affected as well.

What?

Why wasn't this picked up
on the rootkit analysis?

Joseph?
I know. I agree with Jerry.

No! Where is it?

Seriously, Chris, if I were to say
2016, Alan Rickman aside,

what is the first...
No.

Jerry's office.
I left it in Jerry's office.

Do you want me to go and get it?
No.

You've caused enough damage today
as it is.

I haven't done anything.
Exactly.

Too little, too late.

What if we launch our own
cyber attack on Hinkley Point?

What do you mean?

If we can overload their own system,
it might slow everything down,

even Eternal Blue.

That's a good idea.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You want to launch a second cyber
attack on the same nuclear site?

What if you're successful?

(EXPLOSION SOUND)

Maybe Joseph can give you a hand?
That'll help.

Is that a compliment?
What do you think?

You have 15 minutes. Go.

The team at Hinkley Point
just called to say

that the second blast
might take out GCHQ Bude.

Do you want me to WhatsApp someone?

No.

Any outside communication at this
point would go against protocol,

and would only cause mass panic.

We keep this to ourselves.
Do you understand?

God help us all.

Charlotte.

They might notice something's up in
the next 15 minutes anyway.

Mum?

Hey, Charlotte, it's Joseph.

Hey, Charlotte, it's me.
Really bad news.

Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Pick up the phone.

(BEEP)
Charlotte, it's Joseph.

I don't know if you got my previous
message, but, um...

..you don't fancy just jumping
in the car

and travelling like
300, 400 miles north-east?

I don't know if you have any, like,
factor 50 sunscreen or 50 plus.

(BEEP)
If you happen to hear a loud bang...

Joseph!
Yeah, yeah.

Oh, Jerry.

Oh, you look like shit.

I just downed my Pom-Bears
too quickly.

Calm down.

I secretly check out
the new blast radius

and the worst we'll feel
is a little warm.

Yeah? What about the staff at
GCHQ Bude?

I mean, between us, how important is
the work they do there, really?

It's where Charlotte works.
Right.

You never met in person, though,
right?

So?

So, you're not going to notice if
she looks a little different.

Oh, my.

I was doing some research
on that whole

regressive hypnotherapy thing.

How much do you know about it?
I only know two words, really.

OK, well, I think it could really
help me remember the password.

Tell me to relax.
Relax.

No, no, you gotta whisper it to me.

Reeeeeelax!

OK, that sounds like you're
about to violate me.

Pretend it's 2016. Take me back.

You sure this is going to work?
Of course not.

But here, take my hand.

Take it, take it...
Yeah.

OK.

Pretend to be Melissa.
Why?

How good is your American accent?

(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Really not very good, ma'am.

OK.

Let's work on the other senses.

Ask me what I can smell.

In 2016?
Mm-hm.

Oh, oh, onions.
Really?

I'm at a party.
Right?

Oh, whoa, it's hot.

My arm hurts.

You've been breakdancing again.
No, no, I'm...

I'm at a grill. Oh.

Oh. Oh, I'm flipping burgers.

Oh, this is what you used to do
for a living.

No, no, it's my backyard.

It's a barbecue.

OK, so where's Melissa?
What am I doing?

Oh, she's...
She's walking towards me.

Uh-oh.
It looks like she's been crying.

Maybe it's the onions?

What's up, sweetie? What's wrong?
Is it the Botox?

What's up, sweetie?

Ahhh. Don't know what to say.

Come on, as Melissa.
I don't know what to say.

Yes, you do, sweetie.
You could tell me.

I can't... I can't think of
anything to say.

You're a good thinker, Melissa.

I'm not a good thinker, Jerry.
Yell it at me. You're always yelling.

Why are you always playing
these games, Jerry?

Me?! I'm not the one who plays games,
Melissa.

(LOUDLY) I'm here manning the
grill and what are you doing?

Drinking like a fish.

Where's the potato salad anyway?

Did you leave them...?

Oh, my God, I just remembered.

No kidding? What is it?

It's in a notebook taped to the back
of our refrigerator.

Oh.

So, where's the refrigerator?

It's in the States.

I don't think we can get there
in time.

No, we have to call Melissa.

What's going on?

Tuva, I need you to open
a back door on 192.74.

Do you have the password?
Almost.

Close the blinds. The blinds.

What if you were to just guess it?

No, no. Eternal Blue is rigged.

If we don't get it right
the first time, we're screwed.

It's like a nose job,
from... from what I hear.

OK, I've opened the back door to
Eternal Blue.

First you need to input an
authorisation key.

Don't look.

Oh, nice to see you again,
you little piece of shit.

You talking to me?

Joseph, go ahead and call Melissa.

I'm blocking the caller I.D.
so all you need to do is hit dial.

What time is it over there?

I have no idea. It keeps changing.

You want me to do the accent again?
Absolutely not.

Who is this?
Shit!

It that Melissa?
No, it's fucking Clint.

Why did you put it on video?

I just think I'm having
one of those days.

Hello?

Tell him to put Melissa on.

Oh, hi, Clint.
No, don't say his name.

Sorry, that was a guess.
Could you put Melissa on, please?

She's just in the bathroom.

Can she call you back? Who is this?

Tell him it's urgent.

There's something wrong
with your video.

How long does she usually take,
Clint?

Normally she's super fast.

Hang on, I think she just got out.

See?

Is there a disguise I could wear
to just cover me up?

Mary, give him your wig.

It's not a wig.

Some British guy is calling you.

MELISSA: I just need another minute.

Sorry, can we just we just do this
another time?

Clint.
Jerry.

Clint.
Jerry.

Clint!
Jerry.

Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint!
Bathrobe. Clint.

What the fuck do you want?
Melissa.

Yeah, well too bad. She chose me.

Just put her on the phone.
It's a national emergency.

MELISSA: Oh, my God.

See! Melissa, Melissa.

I need you to do something for me.

CLINT: Jesus, are you fucking
kidding me?

Yeah. Well, sorry, buddy.

Someone's got to be the hero.

Let me see it again.

Is there definitely a line?

MELISSA: Look, right there.

It's a blue line.
I love you so much.

I love you too.

Oh, my God.
We're gonna have a baby.

What the fuck's going on?
No, no, no, no.

We're out of time.

Shut it down.
No, Jerry, the password.

Shut it down.
MELISSA: Jerry, is... is that you?

Yeah.

Congratulations.

No, Jerry.

It's Clementine.

The password is Clementine,
all caps.

Are you sure?
100%.

Go!

It was what we were going to call
our daughter,

but we miscarried, so...

Or I miscarried, I think,

is technically what you're meant
to say nowadays.

Well, I... I didn't know
that about you.

Oh, it's fine, it's fine.

You know. Happens all the time.

I mean, in general, not just to me,
you know.

I'm not running around town
doling out miscarriages or...

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

It's too bad, I was really looking
forward to being a dad.

Even though it was a girl.

(GASPS)

(ALL CHEER)

RECORDING: System normalised.
System normalised.

Well, if it's any consolation,
she does make a lovely password.

Thanks, buddy.

I do believe congratulations
are in order.

Thanks, even.

You're welcome.

Call Hinkley Point
with the good news.

And destroy the other press release.

Sure.

Which one was that again?

Any idea how a weapon
designed by the NSA

capable of causing such
destruction on British soil

could fall into the wrong hands?

Floppy disk?

All I'm saying is, it sounds
as though there might be a leak

that needs plugging on both sides
of the Atlantic.

What?

You still think there might be
a mole working here?

The thing about moles is you just
have to check them regularly

in case they change shape.

But, if they're hairy,
that's actually a good sign.

Sorry, I zoned out for a second.
What were you just saying?

So, where are we going?
We got to do something to celebrate.

Should we hit a nightclub?

For lunch?
(INDISTINCT)

Ooh, what about Hooters?
Yeah.

Ooh, I love their wings.

Either way, someone's going
to have to carry me home tonight.

You know?

(BEEP, ALARM BUZZES)

(BEEP, ALARM BUZZES)
Sorry.

Mine usually works.

(ALARM BUZZES)

(ALARM BUZZES)

(ALARM BUZZES)

Alright, let me.

(DOOR HISSES OPEN)
Yay.

There you go.
(THEY LAUGH)

(ALARM BUZZES)

Mother f...

No! No! No, no, no!

Goddamn it!

Call it, man.

No, no, no, no!

This is bullshit!

NOEL COWARD:
♪ Hurray, hurray, hurray

♪ Misery's on the way

♪ There are bad times
just around the corner

♪ There are dark clouds
hurtling through the sky

♪ It's as clear as crystal
from Bridlington to Bristol

♪ That we can't save democracy
and we don't much care

♪ We'd better all learn the
lyrics on the old 'Red Flag'

♪ And wait till we drop down dead. ♪