All language subtitles for Grey s Anatomy 17x07 Helplessly Hoping.WEB.en

This job isn't easy.

The sheer amount of pressure and loss

that we square off against every day...

...can leave you exhausted...

...or helpless.

You're okay. You're okay.

You're going to need to find
an outlet for the stress.

Maybe it's physical...

...maybe it's emotional...

Hey, buddy. Hey!

- Hi.
- Oh, you're so big.

Mommy misses you both so much.

I love you, Mommy.

I love you. I miss you.

...maybe it's family...

...but trust me, you're not
going to survive residency

unless you have a happy place...

...somewhere that you
can just escape it all.

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

I need another ABD.

Why aren't we there yet?

We're going as fast as we can
without crashing.

Uh...

You need to tell them
it's him so they're ready.

Okay, Carina, I know you are
scared, but this isn't helping.

"B."

"B"? "B" what, buddy?

"B" positive. That's my blood type.

We'll call ahead
and make sure they know.

Give me a 4x4.

Andrea, you are gonna be okay,
Andrea, okay?

Okay?

Val Ashton.

Two days post extended liver resection.

LFTs are still elevated.

Blood cultures are growing
gram-negative bacteria.

How are you feeling?
Any tenderness or nausea?

Honestly, I think I can get out of bed

and do a couple laps.

She's still septic.

Start her on Levophed,
add an antifungal,

and order a repeat CT.

You feel like crap, and you're
acting like you don't.

Why would I...

So I'll let you out of bed
so you can see Luna.

I've tried this your way.

It isn't working.

Val, I know that this...

Please don't say you
know how this feels,

because I like you,
and I want to keep liking you.

But unless you've had
a baby that you haven't

been allowed to hold or even see
in person her whole life,

you don't know.

I finally got a hold of Luna's father.

He signed over his parental rights.

Isn't that what you wanted?

Yeah.

But I expected at least a little fight.

Not a text back that says, "Good luck."

Baby emoji.

So, yes, I feel like crap.

I feel sick down to my bones
that I made a child

with someone who doesn't
even care she exists.

Let's get the sepsis under control,

and then we can talk about seeing Luna.

They were out of oat milk,
so it's gonna be almond.

Savages.

Right?

Mm.

Hmm.

You should eat.

Coffee first.

And I don't need a speech
about breakfast

and nutrients for my brain
because my brain

is finally turned off.

I'd like to keep it that way
for as long as possible.

Want to get some fresh air?

We could go for a walk.

I'm right where I want to be.

Maggie, I don't know if you are asleep

or if you are ignoring me
or the world entirely, but call.

Still nothing?

Uh, she could be passed out
on the floor from COVID,

and no one would know.

Or... Or she could be
hit by a car on the I-94

on the way to Wyoming.

- What's in Wyoming?
- I don't know.

But one sister's on a vent
and the other one is missing,

and the last time a sibling was missing,

he was dying on the side
of the road, so...

Is my mommy gonna die?

Uh...

It's okay. You can tell me.

Come on, Zo. Let's go inside.

I called up to the blood bank

to have type "B" blood on standby.

Hopefully, it's a sign.

You know, "be positive"?

Rig's here.

Carina, what the hell?

- It's Andrea.
- What?

Stab wound to the abdomen,
possibly into the chest.

Slightly hypotensive
and tachycardic after

- one liter of NS.
- What happened?

He was following a sex trafficker,
and she attacked him.

They got her. I-I think I'm okay.

DeLuca, try not to talk. It's Dr. Hunt.

You're at Grey-Sloan.
Let's get him to trauma one.

Let's move. Schmitt, let's go.

- Owen.
- Yeah?

Please save him. Please.

Okay.

There's fluid in his abdomen

and around his heart.

- How you feeling, DeLuca?
- Like I got stabbed.

Chest films are up.

Okay, let me see.

DeLuca, you have a hemothorax.

I'm gonna have to place
a chest tube, okay?

- Great.
- Schmitt, hang another unit.

Here it comes. Ready?

BP's still dropping.

Okay, let's call the O.R.

Tell them we're on our way up, okay?

- Hey, I want to go with him.
- Carina, no.

Andrea, I want to come with you.

Carina, he's right. Please.

Okay, ready? We good?

Oh, God.

Okay, good. Let's go. Move.

Uh, Dr. Webber.

Um...

There's a...

a huge trauma that just
came in, and, um...

Well, did Hunt ask for help?

No. Uh...

Did he ask you to come to stare at me?

It's, uh...

It's DeLuca.

He's been stabbed, and, um, I saw him,

and I-I wish I hadn't,

but, um, I did,
and I thought you should know.

Hey!

Hey yourself.

Impressive.

Your turn.

Let's see what you got.

Okay.

There you go.

Just gotta put a little bit
more muscle into it.

Yeah.

You know, this is
the first time in my life

I can ever remember
not feeling competitive.

Is this your life?

What?

Well, you said
the first time in your life,

but I don't know.

I'm not so sure.

Are we alive?

I think so.

You look good.

The beach suits you.

You too.

I made Zola a grilled cheese.

She's watching a movie
with the other two.

Did you actually say anything?

Ellis interrupted us
before we got too far.

Which feels like divine intervention

because I have no idea what I would say.

I mean, I can't lie because... lying.

And Zola's so smart she'd just
see right through it.

So you're just gonna keep
making grilled cheeses?

Are you just gonna walk for two hours

every time Scout needs to sleep?

You want to see what
happens when I stop?

I'm sorry. I need Maggie.

Maggie is thoughtful and levelheaded,

and I know I have to tell
Zola the truth,

but I need help knowing how
to tell her the truth.

She's not picking up.
I have to go get her.

W-What? No, you haven't slept.

You can't stand still.
You're not driving.

You haven't slept either.

Okay, deep breaths.

We'll figure this out.

Um, I-I'll just call somebody
that can find Maggie.

Who?

I don't know.

Ooh.

Hey, where's Carina?

Uh, they headed up to the chapel.

Okay, can you tell her
that DeLuca is stable

and he's on his way to the O.R.?

Yeah. Thanks.

Who's that?

Uh, it's the woman DeLuca was following.

Detectives need her photo.

Why? You... You know her?

She was here last night,
and I treated her.

For what?

She said she was mugged. Oh, my God.

- Schmitt, hey, hey.
- Oh, my God. Is this my fault?

No, none of this is your fault.

Hi.

What, no gifts?

At the very least, some crosswords,

peanut butter cookies, contraband porn?

Kidding.

I'd trade all that
for good conversation.

Okay, if this is about the nurses,

they need to calm down.

We both have COVID. It was no biggie.

What are you talking about?

I went to see Grey.

I needed to see some living scenery.

You would have loved it...
The two of us under blankets,

it was like "On COVID Pond."

It's not funny.

It's a little funny.

We intubated Meredith, Tom.

You know, if you ever
find yourself thinking about

cheering up kids
in the cancer ward, don't.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I-I just...

I just needed to be in a room
with someone who doesn't hate me.

Well, no one can
clear a remarkably low bar

like Tom Koracick.

Have a seat.

I don't hate you, Altman.

But it would help me to hear you admit

that you never loved me.

You don't have to say it now, but...

You're tired. We're both scared.

But it would help me
to hear it sometime soon.

- Dr. Wilson.
- Yeah?

I've maxed out Ms. Ashton on pressors,

but her MAPS keep dropping.

Her repeat CT shows no fluid,
which means that

what's left of her liver is failing.

Um, start her on liver dialysis

and keep me posted
if she gets any worse.

Luna Ashton's mom
is your patient, right?

Why?

Luna has a bronchogenic cyst.

I'd like to get her into the O.R.

before it causes respiratory distress.

Thought you might like to
join me to tell her mom.

No.

Okay, suit yourself.

No, I just... I don't want you
to tell her either.

I don't want anyone to tell her.

I suppose we could sneak Luna in

and say it was emergent,
that Val was sleeping.

We didn't have time to ask her.

- Really?
- No. What's wrong with you?

She just... She needs some really

not-terrible news right now.

We all do.

You're gonna do an ex-lap
and a sternotomy?

Is that necessary?

His FAST exam indicates cardiac injury.

Well, then I'll scrub in.

Respectfully, Richard,
you haven't operated in months.

I'm not sure that this is
the way to jump back in.

Well, respectfully, you need the help,

and I'm not about to wake up Bailey

when she's sleeping for the
first time since her mother died.

I'm not asking you to. Get Altman.

Altman's coming off
a 20-hour shift which ended

in putting Meredith Grey on a vent.

She's in no condition to operate.

Look, DeLuca saved my life.

It's only right that I do the same.

When Teddy and I were in Iraq,
this was our job.

To sew up our own people
when they were broken.

We knew the names of
their kids, their dogs,

what compelled them
to serve their country.

Day after day, they'd go
out there, they'd take shrapnel,

and we would take it out,
we'd sew them back up,

and then we'd send them out
there and do it all over again.

There was no sleep, no rest,

no time to let the gravity
of it all sink in.

That was the job, Richard.
Not many people can do it.

Altman can. So, please, get me Altman.

Hey, I got your page,
but DeLuca doesn't need ortho.

I needed ortho.

I saw the woman who did this to DeLuca.

She was here last night.

She said that she was mugged,
but I think that she was lying.

I mean, I-I know she was lying.

And she was asking about the kidnappers,

but I didn't put the pieces together.

And I don't know if I could have,

but I still feel like I should have.

Which is crazy, right?

I-I-I just need to focus
on DeLuca's surgery.

No, you can't scrub in.

This was a pep-talk page.

Okay, then, switch services.
You can do it. Come on.

I want to help.

Then make sure DeLuca gets
a surgeon that's not a wreck.

Said with love, in case you
couldn't tell behind the mask.

It's a small piece
of abnormal lung growth

that I need to remove
so she can breathe normally.

And then it'll be my turn
for another surgery.

And then hers.

And then maybe I'll go twice
so you keep me guessing.

I know it sounds scary,
but Dr. Hayes has done

this surgery countless times.

Has anyone even held her
since she was born?

Well, she has to stay in the incubator

for her own safety, I'm afraid.

That's not right.

She is helpless, and she is scared.

Babies aren't supposed to live
in a plastic container.

You're right, Val. You're right.

You need to see her.
It's not right that you haven't.

Wilson.

I'll bring her to you before
she goes into surgery.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Wilson.

Webber paged.

Yeah, for me. DeLuca got stabbed.

He has a massive hemothorax
and blood in the pericardium.

- Sternotomy tray?
- And Balfour.

We treated a kid in Jordan
who had shrapnel

in the same area.

Right. Texas Hold 'Em guy.

And we sent him home in one piece.

Alright, let's do it again.

Yep.

Ready?

Okay, Schmitt,
let's call the blood bank,

make sure there's more coming,
and you can scrub in.

Khan, not Schmitt.

Dr. Schmitt said he needed
to switch services.

I assume because of my time in
Pakistan as a vascular surgeon.

Excellent call, Schmitt.

Alright, you'll assist me
with the sternotomy

while Dr. Hunt explores the abdomen.

We're gonna go fast.

Understood.

Okay, then.

Scalpel.

Warren got called to
a four-alarm downtown.

Do you have to go?

Carina, I'm not going anywhere.

Hey, hey.

Before she died, Mama called us
two halves of one whole.

It loses something in translation.

My dad, he thought
we were completely different,

but my mom knew that we couldn't
breathe without the other.

One year, when Dad was
too manic to talk sense to,

he, um, spent all our Christmas money

on stuff he didn't need,
but Mom saved up,

and she surprised us with one gift.

A pair of roller skates.

Andrea tried to give them to me,

but I-I put on the left
and he put on the right,

and we held the other
two legs up like flamingos

and skated around the house.

Two parts, one whole.

Looks like the knife went
through the pericardium

and just nicked the ventricle.

You can repair the ventricle
with 3-0 prolene.

- Altman?
- Yeah, he's right. I'm on it.

Okay, get in there.

Right, 3-0 large taper needle.

Damn it. Looks like it's gone through

his spleen, his stomach,
and his diaphragm.

We're gonna have to remove his spleen

and check for intestinal injuries.

Dr. Knox, how many units
has he received so far?

Six units of blood, six of FFP.

Alright, run a TEG to check
for his clotting factors.

You good?

Yep.

Bovie.

Please don't take this boy.

Please don't take this boy.

Mm.

Mm.

Okay.

Comedy or drama?

C-SPAN?

Listen, there's something
really soothing about

the whole scrolling at the bottom.

It's like this endless
potential of information.

You're gonna make me read that to you

when we're 80, aren't you?

I mean... I didn't mean...

Yeah, you did.

You did mean it.

Okay.

Did you order more champagne?

No.

Hold on. I'll get rid of them.

We're coming.

Yeah, we're coming.

Hey, uh, can I help you?

Oh, sorry. Wrong... Wrong room.

Jackson?

Oh, um, this is...
Okay, it's the right room.

Why are you here?

Link called me. You need to come home.

How are we, Knox?

Just hung another two units.

Blood pressure's starting to come up.

- Just a few more sutures.
- Nice repair.

I don't see any leak.

I'm just gonna run
this bowel one more time,

and then I am good to go down here.

Alright, I just need to place the drain,

and then we are good
to start the wire closure.

Great work, everyone.

When was everyone tested?

- Last night.
- Yesterday.

This morning. Alright, come on in.

Amelia's in her room, and, uh,
please keep it down.

This guy just went to sleep.

Anybody want a beer?

- I'm good.
- It's pretty early.

Okay, I'll get some.

The wound was more
severe than we'd hoped,

but he's pulled through.

Oh, my God.

He's alive. Your brother's alive.

Oh, my God!

Oh, it hurts not to hug you right now.

Hey, look at them while you hug me.

Thank you.

Thank you for getting me to help.

Yeah, don't read into it.

I owed it to DeLuca.

And if there was someone else
I could've called,

I would've.

I said no and I meant it.

I do not take preemies on joyrides.

You're already moving her.
This is adding a stop.

Plus, I told Val
we would make it happen.

Without consulting me first.

It's out of the question.

Get out of my way, Wilson.

Were you nice before your wife died?

Excuse me?

I'm just curious.

You know, I lost the love of my life.

He didn't die,
but he might as well have,

and I was sad and angry and confused,

but I still cared about other people.

In fact, I think it made me care more.

I'm looking out for my patient.

You know this won't jeopardize Luna.

Grey was laughing and joking,

and a few hours later she's on a vent.

This is not the time to play
fast and loose with rules

that keep our patients safe.

If it was Meredith Grey
asking to see her child,

would you say the same thing?

Five minutes, not a second longer.

Ah. Ah.

ABG's the same as this morning,

but no fever and labs are decent.

DeLuca's awake.

- Does Bailey know?
- She's still sleeping,

but, uh, I'll tell her in a bit.

That was a great save, Altman.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go check on my other patients.

I don't regret it.

How did you know I was wondering that?

I don't know.

I just did.

I don't regret it.

You know, we walk through our lives

and we witness atrocities.

See homeless people
on the street asking for help

and we just walk right past them.

See people that can't pay
for medicine for their children,

see people beating their kids,

and we just say, "Well,
it's none of our business."

See atrocities on the news every day.

Crimes and cruelties committed
by our government,

paid for, nonetheless,
by our own tax dollars.

And what do we do? We just
change the channel, right?

We just... We tune it out.

Then we go back to work and we
pretend like what we just saw,

or that article we just read was
somehow normal or acceptable,

and the people who take to the streets

screaming out for change,

they're written off as crazy,

they're written off as extreme.

Doesn't make any sense.

Makes no sense.

But what you did, Meredith,

risking your medical license
to save that little girl...

That made sense.

And what I did... Following that woman,

not letting up,
not letting her get away,

not letting her harm
another single human being.

Yeah, it was dangerous,
but it made sense.

It's the only thing that made sense.

So I don't regret it.

He suffered a lot of bleeding,

but his vitals are stable.

Oh, Andrea.

Hey, hey.

Hey.

Easy, easy, don't try to talk.

You did it. It's over.

They arrested the woman,

they arrested the man who stabbed you.

You saved so many children, Andrea.

_

Now, blink once for morphine

and twice for "I'm a dummy
who will never ignore

his sister ever again."

What was the surgery? I want details.

It was a trauma. It went well.

Your oxygen saturation's gone up.

That's encouraging.

I did love you,

even though I tried so hard
not to love you

because I also loved Owen.

I think I thought
that I could love you both,

but instead, I just...
I tore it all to the ground

and took you both with me.

Wow.

I asked you for one thing, Altman.

You asked me for the truth.

No, no. I didn't ask you for that

because the truth is relative.

You got yourself convinced
that you loved us both,

but empirical evidence
would suggest otherwise.

- Empirical? I...
- He doesn't want you.

You're right, you dragged us
both to the ground,

but he doesn't want anything
to do with you

and I'm still here sitting in the dust.

If you loved me, Teddy, we'd be together

instead of... together in our misery.

Empirical evidence.

I asked you to admit you never loved me

because...

I need it.

If I survive this thing...

...I want to get up off the
ground where you dropped me,

so...

...I need it.

I never loved you, Tom.

Thank you.

You want to sit, or...

Oh, the second I stop,

Scout starts wailing
like a human ambulance.

As you were.

And Scout needs me to keep moving.

Zola, Bailey, Ellis...
They need us to keep on moving,

playing songs and eating.

They eat so much.

So I just keep
going to the grocery store

and buying food
that Amelia keeps pretending

she knows how to cook,

and what if Meredith
doesn't survive this,

you know what it's gonna do to my life?

Yeah, you just said that out loud.

Don't worry about it,
we're all scared. No one's judging you.

I'm a little bit judging,

but that's 'cause I've only
known you seven minutes.

I'm on my knees every night
praying that she survives this,

and I'm not an
on-my-knees-praying kind of guy.

- I get it.
- I'm not praying for myself.

You're human, Link.
Give yourself a break, alright?

You're exhausted.

Meredith is... She's family to me.

I mean, Meredith is family.

I can think of a million reasons
I don't want her to... die.

Some of them are about her,
some are about me,

some are about the world at large.

Point is, you're allowed
to have your reasons.

They don't all have to be selfless.

I just...

I mean, those kids already lost
their dad.

I don't want them to have
to grow up without a mom, too.

And all we can do is just...

Keep moving.

Yeah.

I mean, literally keep moving,

'cause human ambulance.

Yeah.

You know, you're pretty good at this.

The whole "keep somebody calm

you've only known seven minutes" thing.

Well, to be fair, it's been more
like eight minutes now.

It's true.

And, Jackson, thank you
for getting Maggie over here.

I-I-I'm sorry if that was awkward.

- You were the only one picking up.
- No, it's fine.

Why would it be awkward?

Uh, just...

Yeah.

Okay, you're, uh...
You're her ex, aren't you?

- Mm.
- Another round?

Yeah.

I was Zola and Bailey and Ellis.

I was the kid who lost a parent

and the world turned upside down.

And I don't know...

if I hadn't been there to see
my dad dead on the ground,

how long they would've waited
to tell me.

Nobody talked about it.

I didn't expect answers, but...

there wasn't room for questions.

Just... silence.

Meredith told the kids about Derek.

We can do this for her.

She deserves us

stepping up.

And the kids do, too.

Can we just stay here a little longer?

Your mom is gonna freak out
when she sees you.

Yes, she is.

Code blue, code blue.

Code blue.

Val's coding! Hurry!

No.

No, no, no.

Hey.

Comfortable?

Well, your sister just went
to get coffee,

but she left strict instructions.

No car chases, okay?

Okay.

He's tachycardic and his CVP's going up.

Code blue, code blue.

Must be cardiac tamponade.

We're gonna have
to open him back up again.

Let's get a scalpel
and order more blood.

Code blue, code blue.

DeLuca? DeLuca, we're gonna have
to open you back up, okay?

But I am with you, okay?

I got you, okay?

Come on. Staple remover.

Thank you.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Okay, wire cutters.

Okay.

Good, let's go.

One, two, three.

Somebody page Altman and have
her meet me in the O.R.!

Call for more blood.

Start the massive transfusion protocol.

Almost there, DeLuca, okay?

Let's go, let's go!

Charge to 150. Clear.

Come on, Val!

You're so close
to seeing your baby girl.

Charged to 200.

Clear.

What happened?

He went into DIC. He's bleeding out.

Push TXA...

- I already have.
- Push more.

I'm gonna need a ton of lap pads.

Let me in.

He's crashing.

Starting cardiac massage.

Charge to 270.

I think it's too late.

Clear.

So, this morning they put
your mom on a ventilator.

That's the machine
that breathes for her.

Yes.

When will they take her off of it?

Different people come off of it
at different times.

My dad never did.

Do you think my mom will?

We hope so.

But we don't know.

We just...

We don't know.

We shouldn't tell Bailey and Ellis.

Not unless we need to.

They're just too young to understand.

Okay. We'll wait.

No respiratory distress,

chest tube's barely
putting out anything.

Thank you.

She's a trouper.

She's gonna need to be.

No.

I ran the code for an hour.

You know...

I was nicer...

before Abigail died.

I was a great deal many things,
most of them better.

I'm sorry, I never should've...

Oh, it was kind
what you wanted to do, it was.

I'm so sorry.

Me too.

Val is dead.

I heard.

I'm sorry.

DeLuca was okay and now he might not be.

I spent so many years
pretending to be someone else.

So many years afraid
of what my mother thought,

neighbors thought, what I thought.

I wasted so much time.

And now we're all just working
and surviving and waiting.

For what?

Is this all just gonna end one day?

Like, one day we're all gonna get a memo

that says, "COVID's over.
Everyone back to normal"?

I think I wasted all the time
I was supposed to be happy.

Mm.

How long have I been asleep?

Uh, most of the day.

Bailey, something's happened.

No, it's... It's not Meredith.

It's DeLuca.

What?

Richard, what?

Okay, give me 1 of epi.

The tide is coming in!

I know.

It's gonna wash it away.

I know, I'm trying to beat it.

You're trying to beat the tide?

Yeah. I had more to do.

I had plans.

Wanted to do another tower over here

and a... a... A bridge with a moat.

Tide's coming in too fast.

Come on. It's too fast.

I had plans.

Come on.

You can't build a sand castle
without a moat.

I don't know what happens
from here, Meredith.

Me either.

But no matter what happens,

I want you to know that I never
felt seen the way you saw me.

I never felt inspired
the way you inspired me.

You made me want to be
not just my best self,

but better.

And yeah, I felt small
around you sometimes.

I felt insecure.

I wanted something from you that
I needed to give to myself.

But here, now, on this beach with you,

I... I get it.

I don't just get it, I feel it.

I get who I am.

I know my own soul, my strength.

Do you want to take a walk?

We can watch the sunset from the dock.

In a minute.

I just want to feel this first.

I just want to hold onto this
a little longer.

I'm a little bit of an exception

when it comes to having a happy place.

Because the hospital's always been mine.

Internal paddles.

- Come on, come on.
- Let's go, let's go.

Charge to 20.

Clear.

- Again.
- Clear.

Charge to 30.

Clear.

Come on.

- Again.
- Again.

Clear.

Come on.

Maybe it's because it's where I grew up.

Andrea!

Mom?

Mom?

Andrea!

I'll miss you.

If I go back and you don't,

I'll miss you.

It'll be okay, Meredith.

It will. It'll be okay.

Andrea!

I have to go.

Okay.

Mama!

Oh!

His heart won't restart.

He's been down for 40 minutes.

Isn't somebody going to call it?

Time of death... 22:50.

But if you're not like me...

...you're going to want somewhere else.