All language subtitles for Co_Ed_Confidential_S02E01_720p_HDTV_TVV_30NAMA

You know, college life.

Let go and have fun.

Single and ready to mingle.

Yeah!

Didn't I have them on my one -fuck -no
-questions -ask list?

Take me to bed right now.

Flannel up and it'll burn you.

Touch of the beat.

Am I not enough for you?

What are you watching? Anything juicy?

You Americans, so uptight about sex.

Oh, la, la. I gotta switch majors.

How could you?

I thought I was doing the right thing.

I thought you'd be proud of me.

I'm still alive and you're donating my
organs.

What? The gift of life. It's an amazing
thing, Dino.

Think of the good you could be doing if
you wouldn't so selfishly hog your

lungs.

Come on in. Just the man I've been
looking for.

You're gonna love this.

Uh, Dean Lowry, I just wanted to go over
these plans with you one last time

before I set the dynamite.

Dynamite? Sweet.

Very sweet indeed, Mr. Tyler.

In approximately two hours, the infernal
Omega House will be gone.

Kaput.

Buh -bye?

What are you talking about? The Omega
House is history.

No. You can't do this.

Oh, watch me.

Dr. Gersh on the phone. Says he's ready
for your kidneys.

You. I'll be with you in two minutes.
You.

I'm not through with you yet.

Or your kidneys.

Clearly. You selfish, selfish, pitiful
man.

You can't do this.

You're right. I can't. But the dynamite
in my truck might.

And...

If these walls could talk.

The things they'd say.

Let

me

show you something.

Karen, when she first moved in, I swear
I thought she was this.

Stick up her ass, rich bitch.

But she came around.

Boy, did that girl come around.

Oh, I can explain.

I mean, Freddie was a perv, sure.

I shouldn't be looking at this.

You're hopelessly addicted to this smut,
aren't you?

Yeah, my name's Freddie, and I'm a
pornholic.

But he and Karen, man, those two had it
going on.

Yeah,

but you know the saying, you can take
the player out of the game, but you

take the game out of the player.

They went on a camping trip, you know.

Everything was peachy when it was just
them two in the tent.

But if two's the honeymoon and three's
the threesome, something happened out

there that day.

I go down in the record books.

He broke Karen's heart.

True love didn't have to wait.

Right under Lisa's nose the whole
frickin' time.

I made a pledge to save myself from
marriage.

And you believe that no matter what,
you'll keep that promise?

I think so.

I hope so.

Your first time?

You know, she came here, a card
-carrying virgin.

First time one ever set foot in an Omega
house, now that I think about it.

I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

True love waits, but it doesn't wait
forever.

When I meet the man of my dreams, I'm
going to screw his brains out.

But by the time she left... Yeah, baby!

for the party tonight.

Are you ready for round 12?

I don't know if I can.

At the end of the semester, we're not
going to see each other for six weeks.

I've got to suck up now.

Come on.

Yeah.

You know, they got kicked out of Bible
school for giving an organ recital.

I'm afraid to ask. What happened?

Oh, let's just say that the, uh, Oregon
Lisa was playing, wasn't making music.

Oh, those crazy, crazy kids.

Yeah, they ran off to Vegas, bet
everything they had on black.

So? What happened?

They won.

Now they're fucking their way around the
globe.

My old bet, a notch for every conquest.

Don't remember any of their names.

Hell, I don't even remember a single
face.

There was one.

Only one. I counted.

No matter who I was fucking, it was her
I was thinking about.

You cocksucker!

Who, me?

My Ophelia.

I was going to ask her to marry me.

Even bought the damn ring and
everything.

And she hit me with a big surprise.

She was a dude, right?

No, shut up.

She got a grant to go to Borneo to live
with gorillas.

So what'd you do?

I let her go.

Let her catch me pretending to fuck
another girl so she could leave without

regrets. So you got dumped and you
didn't even get laid.

Way to go, pal.

How can you let your daughter move into
that shithole Omega house?

At least I know where she goes to
college.

Where was your son exactly?

I'll tell you what. I'll give you
everything in the divorce if you can

school. No, it's not a... No.

It's supposed to be a... The country.

James! Hey, Karen.

Good to see you.

You better get down here. Look how I
feel.

Yeah.

Sorry to hear about Freddy.

Now I'm depressed.

I'm tired of doing your job. Really blew
it.

More like they blew him.

We don't talk about that ever.

Dean Blowhard.

Exactly how much do we have to donate
this year so that our princess gets the

grades that she deserves?

Uh, Dean?

Yeah, come in. I'll call you right back.

I need your approval on these plans if
you want me to flatten your mega house

noon. What the hell are you doing?

Same thing I've been wanting to do for
the last 16 years. I'm going to blow

godless sex shack to kingdom come.

What? We live there. You can't just...
Daddy, do something.

Blow it up.

Sorry, honey.

I never liked you living there anyway.

What about the vacation house?

It's close.

You could have it. You and your friends
could... Not so fast, colostomy bag.

That house is half mine.

You are the joint owner of nothing.

You want to fight?

You have got to fight.

Come on, pick up, Larry.

Come on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Go check it out.

Through the channels, you can see the
wasteland. All that food tastes bland,

cause I ain't the same man. They got my
name brand moving across the mainland.

Pumping through the main vein,
initializing brain scan. I'm a main fan

for self to obtain land.

What? What do you want, Mom?

Say what?

I'm supposed to switch colleges just so
I can move into your soon -to -be ex

-husband's vacation house?

Don't I have to apply for a transfer?

Yes, I know you spent 17 hours in labor
with me, but... All right already, calm

down, I'm on my way.

What are you doing?

Don't you want to see the house?

Two minutes.

The dean asked me to watch the dynamite
for him.

Dynamite?

Lacey. Yes?

Did it work? No, it didn't work. What?
Did it work? No, it didn't work.

Explosion didn't happen.

Somebody sabotaged it, replaced the C4
with Play -Doh.

Well, sir, there's other business.

The exchange didn't.

Emmanuel from France.

Wow.

She's here to see Aaron Hargreaves. It's
our sophomore guy.

What's happened to your voice?

Sir, there's nothing wrong with my
voice.

All right, whatever.

Give this Emmanuel girl Karen's number
and blow her off, okay?

I will.

You check me out.

Wonder what I'm about.

I am your mystery.

Come on and talk to me.

Come on and take a step.

Life is real.

How do you feel?

That's wonderful.

You have got to be fucking kidding me. I
know.

It's a little on the small side.

We'll manage.

Oh, God, Karen. For real?

Yeah, it's okay.

It's okay?

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Emmanuel's going to have to stay in the
present wrapping room.

What? Emmanuel in the present wrapping
room?

Oh, my God. That sounds like something I
might accidentally watch on Cinemax.

Kidding. Anyway, pray who, pray tell, is
Emmanuel.

She sounds fetching.

Emmanuel is my foreign exchange student.

Oh, I'm liking this more and more.

James, I thought you were still pining
for Ophelia. You said you had a broken

heart. Well, sure.

But not everything is broken.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

I don't feel you would have loved this
place.

Ah, first visitor.

Bonjour, hello.

I am Emmanuel.

Oh, well, well, well, well, well,
Emmanuel in the flesh.

Let me just say, I'm a huge fan of your
films. Huge.

Especially that one in space.

Sex in zero gravity?

What a concept.

Don't even think about it, James. She is
my responsibility.

And it's my job to get her educated and
keep her not pregnant.

Do I detect a French accent?

Oui, yes. I am French.

Ah, gay peri.

Gay in the old way, of course.

Oh, la, la.

Do you have a pool?

It is so hot today.

Yeah. I do, actually. You can take a dip
if you want.

And getting hotter by the second.

Okay, you twisted my arm. When can I
move in?

Oh, Karen, you have a gentleman caller.

Directives, go ahead.

Oh, I, um... You, uh, you must be so
proud.

I know I would be.

What?

I'll leave you two to catch up.

What are you doing here?

Uh, moving in.

No way!

This is my house.

It's my dad's house. And half of this is
my mother's house, so... No way.

Yes way.

I'm not getting rid of you, am I?

Nope.

Half of this house is my mom's.

Or it will be.

Nuh -uh. My dad will fight for it.

Obviously, you've never seen my mother
go for the jugular.

It's like watching National Geographic,
only bloodier and with foreplay.

Look, we'll divide the house in half.

You live in one half, I'll live in the
other.

Well, I'm having a party tonight, and
please try not to let any of my friends

see you.

You're such a dweeb.

What is this? You're number six?

Lucky number seven.

You're finally going to graduate.

What? Hell no.

I'm going to get laid.

Well, and how is that any different from
any other year?

Because this year, it ain't going to be
with Ophelia.

And I'm not with Freddie.

Yeah, baby.

Single and ready to mingle.

That would be weird, huh?

I found the ring, the note.

Yeah, the note, the ring.

It was a bit confusing, but yes, I will
marry you.

And yes, every minute in Borneo was hell
without you.

And yes, take me to bed right now and do
that weird thing with the oven glove.

And yes.

This is private property. One more step
and I'm calling the cops.

Dick.

This is your house?

This is private property.

Hmm.

Nice house.

Gotta be worth, what, a couple million
at least?

That's a vacation home.

This is your vacation home?

You look like... This is going to sound
kind of weird, but... I've been dreaming

about you for so long.

Really?

Wet dreams, I hope.

A drink first, no?

Here's the French, who invented frog
legs and kissing and

surrendering.

We drink to America, to the hamburgers,
to no health care, to the bush.

To your bush.

I can't believe this.

I can't wait to get my hands on your
endowment.

With my parents getting divorced, my
endowment's shrinking.

Oh, it sure is.

Wait, I can't.

Yeah, I know.

He really loved that shiny new car,
didn't he?

What do you mean, loved it?

Karen, she invited us to this party.

Us? Who the hell is us?

You know Royce, right? Class president.

We met while I was studying gorillas.

Oh.

And I see you brought your work home
with you.

Watch yourself.

Be quiet, gorilla boy, and I'll give you
a banana, huh?

Continued.

You! Yeah, you!

Where is he?

Where is he?

It looks like your side of the house is
burning. Maybe your endowment means the

largest institution.

A naked shit. Damn.

It's symbolic.

It's damn bullshit.

Come on, this is worse than Armageddon.
This is Cooper. He was listening to

Freddy on our fishing trip.

She's never, ever, never, ever better
than me.

She's never, ever, never, ever better
than me.

She's never, ever, ever better than me.