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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,880
Samantha...
2
00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:07,591
what did you say the name
of this establishment is?
3
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:08,300
Mario's.
4
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,970
Mario's.
I'm amazed.
5
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,765
This is the best Italian food
I've had this century.
6
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:15,849
It is good.
7
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,142
Mmm.
8
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,853
Just taste this veal marsala.
9
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:23,273
Only on the condition
that you taste the fettuccini.
10
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,608
It's a deal!
11
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,988
Mother.
12
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,783
Mmm!
13
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:34,034
Delicious!
14
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,661
Mmm.
15
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,454
Superb.
16
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,673
Ladies, excuse me.
I would like to know.
17
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,132
Everything satisfactory?
18
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,342
It certainly is.
19
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,511
Please pay our compliments
to the chef.
20
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,596
Thank you.
You're the chef?
21
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:57,599
I am Mario's chef,
Mario's waiter,
22
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,394
Mario's cashier,
Mario's everything.
23
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:03,021
To make a long story short,
I am Mario.
24
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,815
Why don't you have hired help?
25
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,066
Signora, you see,
business is so terrible,
26
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,986
I am the only one
I can afford.
27
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,488
You mean, with such superb food
28
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,906
at such reasonable prices--
29
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,950
I will put it
in one word.
30
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,200
Hmm?
31
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,786
Pizza.
32
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,413
Pizza?
33
00:01:19,453 --> 00:01:21,456
Si. Pizza.
34
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,041
You see-- Excuse me.
35
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,669
In the confusion
of this atomic age,
36
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:26,878
people who are not Italian,
37
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,922
and they want to order
Italian food,
38
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,924
they don't order
veal scaloppini,
39
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,426
fettuccini a la Bolognese.
40
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,468
No!
41
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,720
They want pizza!
42
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,430
But it isn't even on your menu.
43
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,432
It's not going to be.
Oh, no!
44
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,226
You see, I belong to a family
of men who have been
45
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,520
artists in the kitchen
for five generations.
46
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:46,273
And I modestly belong
to this glorious tradition.
47
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:50,611
So I refuse, I refuse to slap it
in the face with pizza.
48
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:51,737
This makes sense, no?
49
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:52,779
Absolutely!
50
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,615
And it makes no difference.
51
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,618
Because my restaurant
is going to fail.
52
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,995
My wife and children
are going to starve.
53
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:03,373
And today's dessert
is zabaglione.
54
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:12,174
I don't ordinarily feel
sorry for human beings.
55
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,760
But I do feel
sorry for him.
56
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,053
So do I.
57
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:21,141
I think I'll ask
Darrin to help.
58
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,476
How?
59
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,852
Washing dishes?
60
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,854
Mario's isn't a success
61
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,981
because the public
doesn't know about it.
62
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,983
Advertising
is Darrin's business.
63
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,153
Informing the public
is Darrin's stock in trade.
64
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,696
Hardly.
65
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,448
His stock in trade
66
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:40,243
is contributing to
the delinquency of my daughter.
67
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,703
Mother?
What?
68
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,872
You're a tough woman.
69
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:47,751
You're a great witch,
but you're a tough woman.
70
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:48,729
Hi, honey.
71
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,647
Welcome home, my hero.
72
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,898
Your hero is pooped.
73
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,025
Routine overwork
or special crisis?
74
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:54,860
Both.
75
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:55,902
We have an important new client
76
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,028
for whom we're planning
77
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,782
a major saturation
campaign, and he--
78
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,909
No.
"No" what?
79
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,370
No, I won't bring
my problems home.
80
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,580
I will leave them at the office
81
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,957
like the mature executive
I wish I were.
82
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,375
Now, how did your day go?
83
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:11,960
Oh, just wonderfully.
84
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,838
Mother and I went to the most
marvelous Italian restaurant
85
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,924
called Mario's--
This guy's a real tiger.
86
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:18,675
Who?
87
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:19,676
Linton Baldwin.
88
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,136
It's a new account.
89
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,013
He goes through
advertising agencies
90
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:26,016
like women go
through new dresses.
91
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,767
I'm sorry.
A restaurant called what?
92
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,145
Mario's.
The food is superb.
93
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,189
Mother had veal marsala
and I had--
94
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,358
In the past three weeks,
he's changed agencies twice.
95
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,777
Darrin.
Hmm?
96
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,738
You're not exactly leaving
your problems at the office.
97
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,947
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
98
00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:43,116
It's on my mind.
I just can't shake it.
99
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,034
Don't fight it.
100
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,577
You tell me about Mr. Baldwin
101
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,287
and I'll tell you about Mario's.
102
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,955
Okay?
Okay.
103
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,626
Linton Baldwin is the shining
light of the pizza industry.
104
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,419
No kidding?
No kidding.
105
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,130
He owns the largest chain of
pizza parlors on the West Coast.
106
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,882
And now he's expanding
to the East Coast.
107
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,926
He wants McMann and Tate
to get him off the ground
108
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,427
with flying tomato paste.
109
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:06,598
Darrin, you have no idea
what a coincidence this is.
110
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,435
Mario was saying that pizza's
putting him out of business.
111
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,686
Why?
112
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:15,815
Well, in this atomic age
when non-Italians--
113
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:18,777
Honey, take a look
at this newspaper ad.
114
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,488
It runs in tomorrow
morning's paper.
115
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,406
Uh-huh.
116
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,284
Tell me what you think.
117
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,995
"Perfect Pizza"?
That's the name of the product.
118
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:34,584
Darrin, would you consider
a pizza parlor a restaurant?
119
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,669
I guess so.
120
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,170
Well, sure. Why?
121
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:40,005
Well, obviously you believe
a good way to inform the public
122
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,424
that a restaurant exists
123
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,760
is by taking out an ad
in the newspaper, right?
124
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,387
Right.
Oh.
125
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:48,348
Sweetheart, I'm going to drown
my sorrows in a hot shower.
126
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:52,435
Thank you for being
so sympathetic and patient.
127
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,937
Anytime.
128
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,026
Now...
129
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,946
let me see.
130
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:10,287
"For the finest in Italian
cuisine, eat at Mario's."
131
00:06:10,327 --> 00:06:15,666
"Treat your taste buds
to lunch or dinner at Mario's."
132
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,878
No. Keep it simple.
133
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,297
"Eat at Mario's."
134
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:21,505
That's it!
135
00:06:21,505 --> 00:06:23,884
"Eat at Mario's."
136
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,919
Good morning, sweetheart.
137
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,963
Now, let's see how
my ad looks in print.
138
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,964
Ah, here we are.
139
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:06,676
One-quarter page
of advertising genius.
140
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:07,802
That's gorgeous!
141
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,303
Now eat your breakfast.
142
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:10,347
It's not bad.
143
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,140
Not bad at all.
144
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,186
That's a full-page ad.
145
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,270
Mm-hmm.
146
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,315
A full-page ad
for an individual restaurant.
147
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,316
Mm-hmm.
148
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,777
Whoever took that out
must be nuts.
149
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,986
Why do you say that?
150
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,405
Do you know how much
a full-page ad costs?
151
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,573
No. How much?
152
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,033
It costs--
153
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,121
Yes, dear?
154
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:39,292
Sam, isn't Mario's
the place you ate yesterday?
155
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,543
Yes.
156
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,338
Sam, you didn't
by any chance--?
157
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,468
Sam?
158
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,138
You didn't...
159
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,266
put an extra page
in the newspaper, did you?
160
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,895
Sam!
161
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,065
Well...
162
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,194
Sam, you promised never
to do that again.
163
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,488
He's such a nice man.
164
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:09,948
I only wanted to help.
165
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,449
When is this going to end?
166
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,704
I was only trying to inform
the public that Mario's exists.
167
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,288
And in case you were wondering,
168
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,166
a full-page ad my way
doesn't cost a nickel.
169
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,793
I wasn't wondering.
170
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,044
Darrin, are you upset?
171
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,462
Of course I'm upset!
172
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,632
Because my ad's bigger
than your ad? Guess again.
173
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:31,803
Because you think that taking out
an ad by witchcraft is cheating.
174
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,304
That's closer.
175
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,474
Because I think taking out
an ad by witchcraft is criminal!
176
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,684
Crimi--?
177
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,934
But why?
178
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:41,604
I didn't replace a page,
I only added one.
179
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,897
Whom did I hurt?
180
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,567
Whom did you hurt,
she asks.
181
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,818
You hurt the publisher
182
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,195
who offers advertising space
to make money.
183
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,905
You also hurt
the other advertisers
184
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:54,242
who resent paying for something
that somebody else gets free.
185
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:57,203
You also hurt
the United States of America,
186
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,874
a democracy whose economic
system is called capitalism.
187
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:04,669
Oh. Well, those are good points.
I should've thought of them.
188
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,504
Well, why didn't you?
189
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:10,300
I was so anxious to help Mario
get some customers.
190
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,927
His food really
is wonderful.
191
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,304
He deserves
to be a success!
192
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:18,433
I promise I won't do
anything like that again.
193
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,517
Good.
194
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,977
Am I forgiven?
195
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,605
I guess so.
196
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,356
I like your motives.
197
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,275
But I don't like you
drumming up business
198
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,944
for one of
Perfect Pizza's competitors.
199
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,905
Mario doesn't serve pizza.
200
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,239
Well, I'm glad
to hear that.
201
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,617
Then maybe your husband's client
won't be jealous.
202
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:36,701
Good.
203
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,078
I hope.
204
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:44,458
How come Perfect Pizza
gets a quarter page,
205
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,962
and Mario's restaurant, of which
I never even heard of,
206
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,089
gets a full page?
207
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,965
Mr. Baldwin,
taking out a full page
208
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,133
for a single restaurant
209
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,176
is poor advertising.
210
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,385
We at McMann and Tate
211
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,096
don't put all our eggs
in one basket.
212
00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:57,138
We diversify.
213
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:58,973
I'm not selling eggs.
214
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:02,227
I'm selling 21 delicious
varieties of pizza.
215
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,436
We appreciate that.
216
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:06,648
But nevertheless--
Okay, forget it.
217
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:11,236
I just wanna make it clear I
don't enjoy playing second fiddle.
218
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,947
With me, selling pizza
is more than a way
219
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:17,117
of being a multimillionaire.
220
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,827
It's a public service.
221
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,285
A public service?
222
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:25,416
As a small boy in Modesto,
California, I had a dream.
223
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,335
A dream of American families,
224
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:31,422
men, women and children,
sitting together, eating pizza.
225
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:34,425
Nobody sulking about
not getting the kind they like,
226
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,386
because they chose
from 21 varieties.
227
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:42,016
Just having a hot nutritional
meal and being together.
228
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,184
That's a...
an interesting dream.
229
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:47,147
I guarantee you that if every
American family went out
230
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,315
for pizza only twice a week,
231
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,026
the national crime
and unemployment rates...
232
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,614
Would disappear.
Am I right or am I right?
233
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:57,490
Well, uh--
234
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,534
The irony is that I can't seem
235
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,828
to find an advertising agency
236
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,873
who can put that message across.
237
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,124
Er, uh, Mr. Baldwin,
238
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,833
it's almost time for your show.
What show?
239
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:11,212
Phase two of McMann and Tate's
saturation campaign.
240
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,965
You're the new sponsor
of a local TV game show.
241
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:16,176
Well, now you're talking!
242
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,679
I'll just warm up the set.
243
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,146
Good morning, dear.
244
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,397
Good morning, Mother.
245
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,609
I just saw your advertisement
for Mario.
246
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,568
You did?
247
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,613
I must tell you
I wasn't very impressed.
248
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,739
Why not?
249
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,574
Ehhh, it's too mundane.
250
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:43,077
Eat at Mario's.
126 Adams street.
251
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,246
Why, it wasn't even
on the front page.
252
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,874
Now, you should
be more creative.
253
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,083
I thought it was rather good.
254
00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:51,252
Where are you going?
255
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,962
To turn on the television set.
256
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,256
At 10: 30 in the morning?
257
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,425
Oh, Samantha!
258
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,720
You're becoming
the typical suburban housewife.
259
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:01,929
Thank you.
260
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:06,017
Darrin asked me to watch
one of his commercials.
261
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,690
Good morning, game lovers.
262
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,693
It's time to play
Your Guess is as Good as Mine,
263
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,363
brought to you
by Perfect Pizza.
264
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,822
That's Darrin's account.
265
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,115
It is?
266
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,409
There's a Perfect Pizza
parlor near you.
267
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,578
Eat it there or take it home.
268
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:29,749
The quality of the 21 varieties
of Perfect Pizza
269
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:30,958
is perfect.
270
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,585
Cute!
271
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:35,964
However, if you hate pizza,
as many people do,
272
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:40,385
try the utterly divine
veal marsala at Mario's,
273
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,845
126 Adams Street.
274
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,476
Now let's introduce
our first guest.
275
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,769
Mother!
276
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,062
Why did you do that?
277
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,939
To help Mario.
278
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:56,609
And to show you what
I meant by being creative.
279
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,697
I demand to know what a plug
for Mario's restaurant
280
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:03,157
is doing on a program
sponsored by Perfect Pizza!
281
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,535
M-Mr. Baldwin,
I-I-I have no idea.
282
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:08,246
[Tate] It must be some kind of
payola.
283
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,998
No calls.
284
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,416
We'll conduct an investigation.
285
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:16,129
You do that, while I conduct
a series of lawsuits.
286
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,213
Lawsuits?
287
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,173
I'm gonna sue that TV station.
288
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:21,217
I'm gonna sue
that wise-guy announcer,
289
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:24,136
and I'm gonna sue
McMann and Tate!
290
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,264
Mr. Baldwin, you gotta give
us a chance to get to the--
291
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:29,684
You had your chance
and you flubbed the dub.
292
00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:33,646
I'm canceling my account.
293
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:37,775
Effective immediately,
as of now.
294
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,820
You know who I'm
signing with? No. Who?
295
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:45,366
The advertising agency
who handles Mario's restaurant.
296
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,999
Mr. Baldwin, wait.
297
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,876
Let's not be hasty.
298
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,754
Alice, get me my wife.
299
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,796
She is?
300
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,506
Put her on.
301
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,884
Samantha, why did you do it?
You promised me.
302
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,385
Darrin, I didn't do it.
303
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,386
Mother did it.
304
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,013
Tattletale.
305
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,515
Don't be silly, darling. What
good would it do to kill her?
306
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,143
I'd come right back
and haunt him.
307
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,812
Will you please be quiet?
308
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,150
He's canceling his account?
309
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,527
He wants to sign with who?
310
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,237
But there isn't any!
311
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,698
Darrin, how can he sign--
312
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,450
Darrin?
313
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,786
Dar--
314
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,079
He hung up on me.
315
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,497
There, you see?
316
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,665
He's no true gentleman.
317
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,708
Mother?
318
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,418
Yes, dear?
319
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,506
Congratulations.
320
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,508
You have just won a new client.
321
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:47,095
And I have just
lost an old husband.
322
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,266
Ohhh.
323
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:55,353
Oh, poor baby.
324
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,939
Oh, don't worry.
325
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:01,234
Mother will make
everything all right.
326
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,527
How?
327
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,446
We'll make Mr. Pizza
change his mind.
328
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,448
His name is Baldwin,
329
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,910
and I have no idea what he looks
like or where to find him.
330
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,081
Wanna bet he's at Mario's?
331
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,876
In search of revenge?
332
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:22,797
In search of the name of
Mario's advertising agency.
333
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,007
Would you like
to drop over and look?
334
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,135
Let's. I'll go
upstairs and change.
335
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,637
We haven't time.
We'll change on the way.
336
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,389
Fine. Ready?
337
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,141
After you.
338
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,855
That's my gal!
339
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,526
Mister, please,
I-I have no time to chitchat.
340
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,319
I have 36 reservations
for lunch.
341
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:48,573
In other words, your advertising
campaign is really paying off.
342
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:49,866
How many times
I have to tell you?
343
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,160
I don't know what
you're talking about.
344
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,036
Come on, Mario,
be a sport.
345
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,998
All I want is the name
of your advertising agency.
346
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,209
I'm a one-man operation!
347
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:03,546
You mean, you placed the ad
and the commercial yourself?
348
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,089
I don't place nothing!
349
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,008
Well, then how'd
they get there?
350
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,177
I plead the Fifth Amendment.
351
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,720
Look, Mario,
352
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,763
I don't blame you
for not wanting to share
353
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,057
a live-wire
organization...
354
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:18,144
when there are so many deadbeats
like McMann and Tate.
355
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,062
So, I'll make you
a proposition.
356
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,314
You give me their name,
357
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,524
and I'll amalgamate you
into my chain.
358
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,359
What chain?
359
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,863
"Linton H. Baldwin.
360
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:31,407
"Chairman of the board.
361
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,783
Perfect Pizza Parlor."
362
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,076
Yeah.
363
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,747
Why'd you do that?
364
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,832
Why? Because I don't
wanna be amalga--
365
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,710
Mixed up with
this pizza business.
366
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,337
Not even for
one million dollars.
367
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,880
Why not?
Why not?
368
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,299
Because it's...
It's an insult to humanity.
369
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,719
Now, see here, buddy,
see here!
370
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,347
As a small boy
in Modesto, California--
371
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,682
Now that I discover
that you are in the pizza,
372
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,643
I order you to leave
the premises.
373
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,355
Wh--?
374
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:05,983
Who applauded?
375
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,068
I don't know.
376
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,237
Maybe somebody
up there likes me.
377
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,989
Are you implying
that pizza is atheistic?
378
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:16,327
I am implying once more
for you to leave my premises.
379
00:17:17,744 --> 00:17:19,789
If it wasn't beneath
my dignity,
380
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,750
I'd sue you
for public obscenity.
381
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,085
Oh...
382
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,967
Well, we found him.
383
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,386
Now what do we do to get him
back with McMann and Tate?
384
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,596
Well, we'll do the same thing
we did for Mario.
385
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,974
We'll advertise.
Oh?
386
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,030
We'll take turns.
387
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,615
You're on.
Me?
388
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,157
Yes.
389
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,301
Very nice!
390
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,476
Your turn.
391
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:23,644
Let's see.
392
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:25,229
Sandwich signs.
393
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,939
Billboards.
394
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:30,568
I think I'll try skywriting.
395
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,345
Baldwin said he would.
396
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:58,679
He did.
397
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,056
He did what?
398
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,476
Signed with the agency
that handles Mario's restaurant.
399
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,603
Come look.
400
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:14,862
Yeah.
401
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,696
Yeah, I guess he did.
402
00:19:25,705 --> 00:19:28,084
Well, what'll it be,
little girl?
403
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,002
I want a Perfect Pizza.
404
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,337
Sorry, no pizza.
405
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,089
Just plain old ice cream.
406
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:38,386
If I can't have a Perfect Pizza,
I don't want anything.
407
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,763
What'll it be,
sonny?
408
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,515
I want a Perfect Pizza.
409
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,433
No pizza.
410
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,726
Only ice cream.
411
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:49,146
If I can't have a Perfect Pizza,
I don't want anything.
412
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,779
Shades of Modesto, California.
413
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,829
I want Perfect Pizza...
414
00:20:04,869 --> 00:20:06,288
too.
415
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,627
Pardon me, ladies.
416
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:15,464
Did you hear that dog say,
"I want Perfect Pizza too"?
417
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,674
Yes, we did.
418
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:19,176
A talking dog!
419
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,637
It must be some
publicity stunt.
420
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,932
Probably arranged by that
live-wire advertising agency,
421
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,809
McMann and Tate.
422
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,728
You know
McMann and Tate?
423
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,438
Doesn't everyone?
424
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,314
Well, they're the best
in the business.
425
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:35,192
Whoever owns Perfect Pizza is
lucky to be their client.
426
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,444
Shall we go, dear?
427
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,570
Yes, mother.
428
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,655
And let's drop into
our nearest Perfect Pizza Parlor
429
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:43,617
and lay in a six-month supply
for our family freezer.
430
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:55,671
Darrin, you know why I never
like to lose an account?
431
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:57,798
I think so.
432
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:58,799
Lower profits?
433
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,134
No.
434
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,386
Because I can't stand
to feel rejected.
435
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,054
I learned that in my analysis.
436
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:05,806
I didn't know
you were analyzed, Larry.
437
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,516
Seven years.
438
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,604
When the doctor told me not to
come back because I was cured...
439
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,105
I felt rejected.
440
00:21:15,648 --> 00:21:17,109
Yes?
441
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:20,196
Yes, Mr. Tate's here.
Who's calling?
442
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,530
Uh, just a second.
443
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:25,075
Linton H. Baldwin.
444
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:28,287
Tate speaking.
445
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,663
On second thought,
446
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,875
I decided not
to switch agencies in midstream
447
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:34,126
and to stay with you.
448
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,545
He wants us back.
449
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:40,174
May I ask what prompted you
to change your mind?
450
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,717
The sandwich signs?
451
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,719
A-- A billboard?
452
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:46,180
The skywriting, I saw.
453
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:48,265
Two kids in the park?
454
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,392
And a talking dog?
455
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:53,604
Mr. Baldwin, I--
456
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:56,232
You'll sign
a one-year contract.
457
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:59,734
Uh... hold on.
458
00:21:59,734 --> 00:22:03,113
Mr. Stephens, have we replaced
the Perfect Pizza account
459
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,074
or can we still
handle it?
460
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:08,285
I'll take a look, Mr. Tate.
461
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,579
No, I think we can handle it.
462
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:12,455
Oh, good.
463
00:22:12,455 --> 00:22:14,083
Mr. Baldwin, you're in luck.
464
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:15,876
It's a deal.
465
00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:17,670
You're welcome.
466
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,673
We're not rejected.
467
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,636
Hey, mack, how about
a balloon for the kiddies?
468
00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:26,846
No, thanks.
469
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:30,599
If I can't have Perfect Pizza,
I don't want anything.
470
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:33,686
Perfect Pizza.
471
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,148
Hi.
472
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,442
I was just passing by,
473
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:43,487
so I thought I'd drop
in and say hello.
474
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:44,446
Hello!
475
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,574
Hello.
476
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:49,076
Darrin, what do you know
about that skywriting
477
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:52,037
and the sandwich signs
and a billboard
478
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,915
and two kids in the park
and a talking dog?
479
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:58,627
They're all part of Darrin's
campaign for Perfect Pizza.
480
00:22:58,627 --> 00:22:59,420
They are?
481
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:03,215
Oh. Didn't you
tell him?
482
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,634
I was saving it for a surprise.
483
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,888
I didn't wanna get your hopes up
in case it didn't work out.
484
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:10,263
Well done!
485
00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:12,308
My, you certainly
are a creative executive.
486
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:13,976
I hope you appreciate him.
487
00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:16,896
I do! I do!
488
00:23:16,936 --> 00:23:19,481
You son of a gun.
489
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,699
[Mario] Let me suggest veal
scaloppini with mushrooms.
490
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,868
For the children, we have
spaghetti or ravioli.
491
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,286
What would you like?
492
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:34,747
Mrs. Allen?
493
00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:36,040
Come with me please.
494
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:41,754
Oh! I'm flattered to be included
in your celebration, Daniel.
495
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:42,713
Darrin.
496
00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:44,089
Well, I'm delighted
to include you.
497
00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:45,674
Sam tells me it
was all your idea.
498
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:48,177
Maybe it will be the start
of a beautiful friendship.
499
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:49,386
Maybe it will.
500
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:50,429
And I'm deeply grateful.
501
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:51,722
Although in the future,
502
00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:53,223
I would appreciate
you letting me handle
503
00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:54,725
my campaigns by myself.
504
00:23:54,725 --> 00:23:56,185
Do you think you can?
505
00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:57,353
Of course, he can.
506
00:23:57,353 --> 00:23:59,188
Except in special circumstances,
507
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:01,106
he needs no help from anyone.
508
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,148
Table for three?
509
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,776
Please.
Your name, please?
510
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,277
Stephens.
511
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:07,404
Do you have a reservation?
512
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,656
No, I'm afraid I don't.
513
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:10,366
Well, I'm sorry.
Without a reservation,
514
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:12,701
there'll be a 40-minute wait.
515
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:17,039
My two customers from
before I am successful, eh?
516
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,333
I remember!
How you like, eh?
517
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,210
Luigi, sit down the ladies
and the gentleman.
518
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:22,628
But they have
no reservation.
519
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:25,923
Luigi, I always reserve
a table for old friends.
520
00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:26,924
This way please. This way.
521
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:28,509
My, my!
522
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:31,428
Another special circumstance.
523
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:34,306
It's all right,
sweetheart.
35772
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