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[narrator] Here you see the
average, normal, suburban housewife
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00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:09,134
in one of her daily
routine tasks:
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,970
Preparing breakfast
for her husband.
4
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,771
With a modern kitchen and all
conveniences at her disposal,
5
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:25,609
the capable housewife moves
efficiently through her tasks.
6
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:56,014
Of course,
sometimes there are problems.
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00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:56,932
[door opens]
8
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,559
Especially if your husband
9
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,936
expects breakfast ready
before he goes to work.
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00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,396
But that's no problem
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00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,898
for the average, normal,
suburban housewife...
12
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:09,611
...if she happens to be...
13
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,321
a witch.
14
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,703
Hi, honey.
15
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,330
Now, doesn't
that look good!
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00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:30,048
♪♪
17
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,930
What a ridiculous waste
of time and energy!
18
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,431
I prefer to think of it
19
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,310
as doing something that
will please my husband.
20
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,605
Well, you needn't
develop biceps doing it.
21
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,607
If you want
to decorate a cake,
22
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:32,819
you merely put a small ring
of rosebuds there
23
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,863
with vines and leaves...
24
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:40,452
a gazebo in the center...
25
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,454
surrounded by Grecian columns,
26
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,123
there, there, there.
27
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,333
So there.
28
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:49,127
Oh, that's lovely.
29
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,631
Just because you married
a human, Samantha,
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00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:56,510
that's no reason to overdo this
grubby little housewife role.
31
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,887
Well, you call it
whatever you like.
32
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,681
I promised Darrin no witchcraft,
33
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,849
and no witchcraft
is what he's going to get.
34
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,727
Oh, very well.
35
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,690
Thank you.
Don't thank me.
36
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,651
As a mother, I've apparently
failed you completely.
37
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,611
On the contrary,
you've done a wonderful job.
38
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,655
Got myself a great husband,
didn't I?
39
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,906
[laughs]
40
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:21,284
When I think what you could have
had, I get positively ill.
41
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,495
Darrin is a marvelous
human being.
42
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,622
That's a terrible thing
to say about anyone.
43
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,457
How can you be so
prejudiced, Mother?
44
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,626
You haven't even met him. You
hardly know what he looks like.
45
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,212
Oh, they all look
alike to me.
46
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,590
Noses to the grindstone,
shoulders to the wheel,
47
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,927
feet planted firmly
on the ground.
48
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,554
No wonder they can't fly.
49
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,055
Darrin's not like that.
50
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,683
Don't contradict your mother,
Samantha. Of course he is.
51
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,643
Look what he's done
to you already.
52
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,855
You've changed, Samantha.
You really have.
53
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,899
And soon I won't be able
to pick you out in the crowd.
54
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,401
Oh, sure you will.
55
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:58,739
I'll be the one with
strawberry frosting in my hair.
56
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,116
How's that?
57
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,493
Oh, it's revolting.
58
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:05,746
But I'm sure what's-his-name
59
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,831
will make a pig
of himself over it.
60
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,751
His name is Darrin, Mother.
61
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,502
You don't fool me
one bit.
62
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,130
You're dying to meet him,
and he wants to meet you.
63
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,757
Samantha?
64
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:17,966
Honey, I'm home.
65
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,760
Oh, there he is.
66
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,761
You better go.
67
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,221
Why? I want to
study him up close.
68
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,806
Not now.
69
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,892
Don't worry, Samantha.
He won't see me.
70
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,770
Witch's honor.
71
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,981
And you know me to be
a witch of my word.
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00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,025
Good.
73
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,238
[Darrin] Samantha?
74
00:04:41,238 --> 00:04:43,533
I'll be right there, darling.
75
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,339
Hi, darling.
76
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,759
Hello, honey.
77
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,014
What's the matter?
Matter?
78
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,933
No kiss?
79
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,976
Oh, sorry, darling.
80
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,899
Is that him?
81
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,193
Sam, are you all right?
82
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,029
Me? Of course. Why?
83
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,490
I've had more passionate
kisses from my father.
84
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,575
What are you looking--?
85
00:05:34,416 --> 00:05:35,627
How's that?
86
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,796
It's an improvement.
87
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,549
How about a drink?
Great idea.
88
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:47,013
There's something I want to talk
to you about, Sam. Very important.
89
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,807
What is it?
90
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:52,351
I drove out of the city today--
Cheers.
91
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,436
I drove out of the city--
92
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,772
What are you looking at?
93
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,148
Nothing.
94
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,608
Nothing?
95
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,783
What's the matter
with you?
96
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,076
Hmm?
97
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,327
Is something wrong?
98
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,830
There's absolutely
nothing wrong.
99
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,206
You sure?
100
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,709
I love you
the way you are.
101
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,504
I love everything
about you.
102
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,717
That's the way
I like to hear you talk.
103
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:28,138
Why don't you
come on over here?
104
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,851
Mmm. That's a wonderful perfume
you're wearing.
105
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,897
Oh, that. Well,
I've had it on all day.
106
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,690
I think I'll go
put on some fresh.
107
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,525
What is the matter
with you?
108
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,693
What do you mean, dear?
109
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,904
You were friendlier
on our first date.
110
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:48,450
Samantha!
111
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,118
I was not!
112
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,081
Sam, are you angry
about something?
113
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,877
Why, no, of course not.
114
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:03,173
It's just I think some things
should be kept to ourselves.
115
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,966
You were talking about
driving out of the city.
116
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:08,053
Oh yes, well, I drove out
to a new development that--
117
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:11,139
Some things should be kept
to ourselves? Who's here?
118
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,058
What do you mean?
119
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,770
Just what I said.
120
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,855
Who's here in this room with us?
Is somebody watching us?
121
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,941
Well, now, darling,
isn't that silly?
122
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,400
You don't see anyone, do you?
123
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,777
What has that
got to do with it?
124
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,570
Well, I mean,
who could be here?
125
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,780
Well, nobody that I know,
126
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,740
but I don't know about
the people you know.
127
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,991
The people I know you can see,
128
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,494
but I'm not too sure about
the people you know.
129
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,870
I promise, darling,
130
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,539
there's no one here
but just the two of us.
131
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,500
Yeah?
132
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,877
Prove it.
133
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,971
That better?
134
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,808
Well, if you're lying, you
ought to be ashamed of yourself.
135
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,104
I love your hair.
136
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,022
Always feels so soft,
137
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,024
smells so good.
138
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,199
Tastes good too.
What is that?
139
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,285
Strawberry frosting.
It was going to be a surprise.
140
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,745
It is a surprise.
141
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,123
I always thought you had
plain, ordinary hair.
142
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,207
Do you like it?
143
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,458
I love your hair.
144
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,377
I mean the frosting.
I baked you a cake.
145
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,129
Really?
146
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,339
That's the surprise.
147
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,216
One surprise deserves another.
148
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,677
I drove out of the city today--
149
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:31,720
You said that.
150
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,221
To see a house!
151
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:36,141
Now, not a rented house
with someone else's furniture
152
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,977
and someone else's carpets
and drapes, but our own house.
153
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,230
Something we can own
from the top to the bottom,
154
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,982
from one end to the other!
155
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,359
Our house!
Now, what do you think of that?
156
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,153
Well, I-I think--
157
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,698
Oh, before you say anything,
just take a look at this.
158
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,910
It's laid out beautifully.
159
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,620
Big rooms full of sunshine.
160
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,456
It looks very nice.
161
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:03,293
It's the kind of house we wouldn't have
been able to afford for a long time.
162
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:04,502
Even with the buy we're getting,
163
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,171
we're going to have to
tighten our belts,
164
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,547
if you know what I mean.
165
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,591
I think so.
166
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,677
Shoulder to the wheel,
in a manner of speaking.
167
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,389
Nose to the grindstone.
168
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,225
Nose to the grindstone?
169
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,602
Right.
170
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,895
It's really just a matter
of keeping our feet
171
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,397
planted firmly on the ground.
172
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:30,111
Well-- How does
it sound to you?
173
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,030
Hmm?
174
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,240
Don't you like
the idea, honey?
175
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:37,785
Of course I like the idea.
It sounds wonderful.
176
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,078
For a minute there, I--
177
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,041
Anything that makes you happy
makes me happy.
178
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:48,213
Okay. I'm about to make you
the happiest woman in the world.
179
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,381
Get me dinner.
180
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:58,098
[laughing]
181
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,272
Was that you laughing?
182
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,273
Oh, yes.
183
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,067
[laughs]
184
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,403
That was a very cute joke you
made about getting your dinner.
185
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,405
[laughs]
186
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,205
I'll meet you
at the house at 3:00.
187
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,373
Okay.
188
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,041
And remember what I told you.
It's up to you.
189
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,458
If you don't like it,
we forget the whole thing.
190
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,461
I know I'll love it.
191
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,255
You sure you had
enough breakfast?
192
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,589
Oh, plenty.
193
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,050
You wouldn't have preferred
eggs or something like that?
194
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,470
No, sweetheart,
the cake was just fine.
195
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,306
I'll see you at 3.
196
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,434
Bye-bye, baby.
Bye.
197
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,022
I think we're very lucky.
198
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,732
All young married people
dream of owning their own home.
199
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:54,070
But it's fine for them,
Samantha, but not for us.
200
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,407
We're quicksilver. A fleeting
shadow, a distant sound.
201
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:01,160
Our home has no boundaries
beyond which we cannot pass.
202
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,956
We live in music,
in a flash of color.
203
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:09,043
We live on the wind
and the sparkle of a star.
204
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,045
And you want to trade it all
205
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,464
for a quarter of an acre
of crabgrass.
206
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,011
Well, now, Mother, if Darrin's
this excited about it,
207
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,181
there must be something to it.
208
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,141
Now, I'm going to
take a look at that house.
209
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,144
The least you can do is keep
an open mind and go with me.
210
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,813
You mean you're interested
in my opinion?
211
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,857
You said you wanted me
to be happy.
212
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:35,403
Well, all right.
I'll look at it with you.
213
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:38,030
But I won't like it.
214
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,366
It'll only take me a second
to change, then we can go.
215
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,535
I'm ready whenever you are.
216
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:53,171
Mother! You are kidding.
217
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,090
What's-his-name got cake crumbs
all over the floor.
218
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,311
Is this it?
219
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:10,605
1164 Morning Glory Circle.
Isn't it nice?
220
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:11,856
It's filthy.
221
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,400
Well, now, Mother, all it needs
is a little landscaping.
222
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,653
Sow's ears are not
made into silk purses
223
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:20,030
by the mere addition of
a few dandelions, Samantha.
224
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,991
Don't waste your time.
It's not for you.
225
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,410
Oh, now, Mother.
Just use your imagination.
226
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,037
I could do wonderful things
with a place like this.
227
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:30,250
Oh, it's impossible! You're a
witch, Samantha, not a magician.
228
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:35,463
There are two of them, Abner.
Both women, one older.
229
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,966
Maybe a sister, maybe a mother.
230
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:39,676
Come take a look, Abner.
231
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,679
Leave me alone.
I'm retired.
232
00:12:44,179 --> 00:12:45,390
You're just being stubborn.
233
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,226
Picture it with
a lovely lawn around it
234
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,687
and some flowers,
and trees and a hedge.
235
00:12:50,727 --> 00:12:51,729
[chuckling]
236
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,564
A lawn, you said?
237
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,695
Isn't it lovely and green?
238
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,488
A hedge.
239
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,075
That's an
English box hedge.
240
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,537
Sweet. Yes.
And flowers.
241
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,126
There. Aren't they colorful?
242
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,920
Oh, and the little window boxes.
243
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:19,006
Yes. What else
did you say? Trees?
244
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:22,844
There. Voilà.
What do you have?
245
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:26,054
Lawn, hedge,
flowers, trees,
246
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,599
all surrounding a sow's ear.
247
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:31,227
No wonder, the way
you have things thrown around.
248
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,812
What do you mean by that?
249
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:36,107
For instance, I don't
think we need the hedge.
250
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:39,110
Two trees is one too many.
251
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,946
Keep the big one,
but over there.
252
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,489
Oh, my,
isn't that lovely?
253
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:47,660
Oh, there's
something missing.
254
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,788
I know.
255
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,582
Awnings.
256
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,293
That's marvelous, Samantha.
257
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,920
That's marvelous. I couldn't
have done better myself.
258
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,464
Abner.
259
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,799
I've got three more words.
Will you wait?
260
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:05,053
I'm trying to get you
interested in civic affairs
261
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,220
and you need words.
262
00:14:06,261 --> 00:14:09,265
What do I care about words?
263
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,731
Ooh. Abner!
264
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:17,774
What?
265
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,067
Abner, come here!
266
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,945
Gladys, I work like
a dog for 32 years.
267
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:26,282
Abner, the house across
the street has got a lawn
268
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:28,910
and, Abner, there are
trees and flowers.
269
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,454
What do you want from me?
270
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,584
Well, that's the way
it'll look someday.
271
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:41,255
What's the matter
with you, Samantha?
272
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,841
At least the place
looked somewhat livable.
273
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,552
Oh, no. We're going to
do it the right way.
274
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,595
From seeds.
275
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,597
Seeds?
276
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,269
That lot was plain,
ordinary dirt.
277
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,855
Now it's a jungle
with plants and flowers.
278
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,232
Come take a look, Abner.
279
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,275
Gladys, don't pull! Take
a spoonful of your medicine.
280
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,361
I don't need my medicine.
281
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,822
I say you do
and I never lie to you, Gladys.
282
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:09,117
Come look, Abner!
283
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,285
If there's no trees,
you'll take a spoonful?
284
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,080
I promise.
Go get it.
285
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,457
You're on.
286
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,426
Well, the living room's
beautiful!
287
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,802
Darrin was right.
288
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:31,222
Oh, it's a little cramped,
but passable.
289
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,141
I'm going to go look
at the kitchen.
290
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,643
Well, if you must.
291
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,854
Oh.
292
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,863
Abner!
293
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,040
Well?
294
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,837
Huh?
295
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:06,132
It's a wonderful kitchen,
full of dozens of gadgets.
296
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:08,509
It's going to be fun
cooking in there.
297
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,012
Oh, say,
I like that chair.
298
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,890
Oh, thank you.
Have one.
299
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:17,894
Oh, wonderfully comfortable!
Splendid job, Mother.
300
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:21,230
I've taken a fling
at decorating in my time.
301
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,399
I thought you didn't
go in for earthy things.
302
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,152
Nothing more than
a creative challenge, really.
303
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:29,197
What sort of table do you think
would go well with these chairs?
304
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,866
Something low and heavy,
do you think?
305
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,534
I don't know.
306
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:38,206
Something along those lines,
I would imagine.
307
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,707
Oh, that's beautiful!
308
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:40,541
Yes.
309
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,627
And how about
a sofa over there?
310
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,379
Something comfortable
and overstuffed.
311
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,757
Like... that.
312
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,384
Yes, it's very nice.
313
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,930
Oh, and of course
a coffee table.
314
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,723
Goes quite well.
315
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:59,143
And over the fireplace,
a painting.
316
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:02,396
Something colorful
and full of life.
317
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,565
It's very pretty.
318
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:08,069
And in the dining room...
319
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,989
A little bit too severe.
320
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,157
You really think so?
321
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,534
Mm-hm.
322
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:19,622
Well... maybe you're right.
323
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,832
How about that?
324
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,252
That's much better.
That's much better.
325
00:17:24,292 --> 00:17:28,172
And... drapery!
326
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,257
Very nice.
327
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,676
And a buffet.
328
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,974
Oh, Mother,
isn't it lovely?
329
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:41,936
Oh, you have something
there, I must say.
330
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,313
Let's go upstairs
and look at the bedrooms.
331
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,190
Why go up there?
332
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,609
Why don't we
just send for them?
333
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,655
Oh, my poor feet.
334
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:00,663
Ah, that's better.
335
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:05,292
Don't try and stop me, Abner.
I'm going over there.
336
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,544
There's something going on
337
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,462
and I'm going to find out
what it is.
338
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:12,090
What's a five-letter word
for the ultimate happiness,
339
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,301
peace and tranquility?
340
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,970
[door closes]
341
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,138
"Death."
342
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:48,294
Well, Mother,
what do you think of it now?
343
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:52,340
Well, it's attractive...
for what it is.
344
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,925
And if Dennis
is adamant about--
345
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,260
Darrin, Mother.
346
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,845
Whatever his name is.
347
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,556
If he must buy a house, at least
this is distinctively furnished.
348
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,475
You won't have to
change a thing.
349
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,352
Oh, all of this goes.
350
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,604
You're not serious!
351
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,314
Well, of course I'm serious.
352
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,773
Now that I know what I want,
353
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,193
we're going to furnish the house
like ordinary people do,
354
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,111
on time.
355
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:19,575
Well, come on, Mother,
let's go look at the patio.
356
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:44,350
Well, I've seen about
all I care to.
357
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,393
How about you?
358
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,852
Not me.
359
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,021
I'm going to wait for Darrin
and do it all over again.
360
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,023
Well you don't mind
if I fly along?
361
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:52,650
I'm awfully glad
you came with me.
362
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,484
I would have been very unhappy
if you hadn't.
363
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,570
Well, I wouldn't
be much of a mother
364
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,490
if I deserted my daughter
in her hour of need.
365
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,950
I wish you'd try to believe
366
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,661
that I have never been
happier than I am right now.
367
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,122
The honeymoon isn't
quite over, Samantha.
368
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,417
It'll be a while before
you can be held responsible
369
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,210
for the things you say.
370
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:14,714
Well, I'll always feel the same,
if I live a thousand years.
371
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:19,009
You could change your mind
many times in a thousand years.
372
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,803
I did.
373
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,180
Well, I won't. You'll see.
374
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,181
[car horn beeping]
375
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,433
Oh, now, that must be Darrin.
376
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,727
Now, don't go if you
absolutely don't have to.
377
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,896
Maybe the two of you
should meet right here and now.
378
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,442
Here? Now?
In my carpet slippers?
379
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,778
You must be kidding!
380
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,996
Hi, honey.
381
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,165
What do you think?
I love it.
382
00:20:49,205 --> 00:20:52,334
You mean it? You're not
saying that just to please me?
383
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,836
No, no, I love it.
384
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,297
It's a marvelous house
and Mother loves it too.
385
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,590
Mother?
386
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,133
She's here.
387
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,426
In there?
388
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,510
You want to meet her?
389
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:02,720
Well, yes, of course!
390
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,847
Of course I want to meet her.
391
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,894
Abner, I love you.
Why would I lie to you?
392
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,396
Take another spoonful, Gladys,
you'll feel better.
393
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,689
Come on, now, open.
394
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,441
I won't open.
I want you to listen to me.
395
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,777
We've watched that house across
the street ever since it was built.
396
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,570
You have watched that house
since it was built.
397
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,030
I got better things to do.
398
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,616
I tell you, Abner, that house
has always been empty,
399
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:24,700
then bango!
400
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:27,828
Okay, bango.
Take the medicine.
401
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:30,455
It's full of furniture.
Just like that! Full!
402
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,540
Open.
403
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,083
No more.
It's making me nauseous.
404
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,960
Better nauseous
than crazy, Gladys. Open.
405
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:38,297
I'm not crazy, Abner.
It was full of furniture.
406
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:39,965
Beautiful stuff. Then bango!
407
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,175
Bango. Open.
408
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,259
It was gone.
409
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,345
Maybe it was repossessed. Open.
410
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:45,596
I'm going back there.
411
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,013
I'm scared, but I'm
going back there.
412
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:49,099
I'm marching up
and I'm going to knock,
413
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,100
and I'm going inside
414
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,936
and find out what's
going on in there.
415
00:21:57,775 --> 00:22:01,195
Oh, she must have gone.
416
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,280
We didn't see her leave.
417
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,282
No, that's true.
418
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,201
We talked about furniture.
419
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:10,579
Now, something kind of wonderful
and comfortable,
420
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,540
but nothing too cold
or modern.
421
00:22:12,580 --> 00:22:14,500
You're right,
I don't see her anywhere.
422
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:16,460
Who?
423
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,254
Your mother.
424
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,464
She can be seen, can't she?
425
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,299
Well, of course.
426
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,135
And she had some wonderful
ideas about the dining room.
427
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,263
High cane-back chairs
with velvet seats.
428
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:31,934
Well, if you don't like
velvet seats--
429
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:35,479
I'm crazy about
velvet seats.
430
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:39,400
As a matter of fact, I'm crazy about
practically everything you like.
431
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,609
You really mean that?
432
00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:41,777
Every word of it.
433
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,571
If you see a piece
of furniture you like,
434
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:44,571
you buy it and put it in.
435
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,073
I'll love every stick of it.
436
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,367
I don't want anything
we haven't picked out together.
437
00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:51,287
After all, we're both
gonna live here, you know.
438
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:54,080
That's the sort of arrangement
I had in mind.
439
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:55,541
[knocking at door]
440
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,042
Here she is.
441
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,085
Who?
442
00:22:58,127 --> 00:23:00,504
Your mother.
We must have locked her outside.
443
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:01,630
Well, I'll let her in.
444
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:04,090
Uh, no.
I'll answer the door.
445
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:08,721
Now, Darrin, Mother may seem
a bit different at first.
446
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,890
That's all right.
I'm perfectly at ease.
447
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,142
I just want her to know
I'd like us to be friends
448
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:16,478
and she'll always
be welcome in our home.
449
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:19,690
Hello.
450
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:21,650
Welcome, Mother!
451
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:25,154
[screaming]
452
00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:35,080
Mother?
453
00:23:42,296 --> 00:23:44,506
That's that.
Mm-hm.
454
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,467
Oh, incidentally,
that poor woman you kissed
455
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:48,427
and scared half to death
was Gladys Kravitz.
456
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:50,930
She and her husband Abner
live across the street.
457
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:53,766
Well, as soon as we get settled,
I'll go over and apologize.
458
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,643
Anyway, I suppose
it's better than getting
459
00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:58,145
a neighborhood reputation
of being standoffish.
460
00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:00,773
Oh, really?
461
00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:04,652
There he is, Abner!
462
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:07,363
That's the one
who kissed me.
463
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:09,615
It don't make
any sense, Gladys.
464
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:12,910
He's got her. Why would
he want to kiss you?
465
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:18,332
I love you,
Mrs. Stephens.
466
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:21,710
And I love you.
Please believe that.
467
00:24:27,675 --> 00:24:32,262
Believe me,
it'll never work.
468
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:43,816
♪♪
33213
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