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1
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,925
Benny was here.
2
00:00:13,969 --> 00:00:16,494
What were you doing
last night, Benny, huh?
3
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:24,371
Ah. Dinner time
on the trail.
4
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,678
And Benny is...
5
00:00:27,722 --> 00:00:30,116
there.
6
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,641
Eating a turkey leg
and drinking whiskey.
7
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:36,035
Getting pretty wasted.
8
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:39,169
Oh, he's up. He's up.
9
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,650
He's getting up
to take a leak.
10
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,348
And...[chuckles] Oops!
11
00:00:47,655 --> 00:00:49,570
And he's in the bush,
12
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:51,311
peeing on himself.
13
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,313
- [urinating continues]
- Still peeing.
14
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,707
Doesn't seem to care.
15
00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:57,143
And he's back up,
16
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,492
shaking the pee off
the turkey leg.
17
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:02,017
Oh, don't eat that, no!
18
00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:03,628
Gross!
19
00:01:36,182 --> 00:01:38,358
One bean? That's it?
20
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,882
Lest you forget,
we threw most of our food
21
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,581
into the river
to save your keister.
22
00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:45,148
Oh.
23
00:01:45,191 --> 00:01:46,845
Well, in that case,
this bean looks great.
24
00:01:46,888 --> 00:01:48,586
Can't wait to dig in.
25
00:01:48,629 --> 00:01:49,761
Yummy.
26
00:01:49,804 --> 00:01:51,154
We can't survive on this.
27
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,069
Now I hear there's buffalo
in these parts.
28
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:56,333
- Maybe we can hunt them.
- It's too dangerous.
29
00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:58,726
No one's stupid enough to go
on that suicide mission.
30
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,075
[imitates buzzer]
Wrong.
31
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,078
I'm that stupid.
32
00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:05,342
Todd? Since when
do you know how to hunt?
33
00:02:05,385 --> 00:02:07,300
Every summer
my parents sent me
34
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:10,129
to Fancy Dandy's Hunting Camp
for Wealthy Boys.
35
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,305
For the survival
of my people,
36
00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:14,829
I'm willing to put
my life on the line.
37
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:18,224
Wow. Todd, I gotta admit,
that's really cool of you.
38
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,878
Thank you.
39
00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,532
ZEKE: Uch. Really?
40
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,837
What does
she even see in him?
41
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:23,838
What do you care?
42
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,842
- You in love with her?
- No! No.
43
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,931
I'm just--I'm trying to
look out for her as a friend.
44
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:33,674
And I don't know what he has
that I don't have.
45
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:36,199
BENNY: Money, status,
and with that stout body,
46
00:02:36,242 --> 00:02:37,678
you know
he's packing a whopper.
47
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,898
- Shall I keep going?
- No, that's plenty, thank you.
48
00:02:39,941 --> 00:02:42,161
Benny, I'm recruiting
volunteers to join the hunt.
49
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,771
- Can we count on you?
- Nah.
50
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:46,426
I'm more of a people-killing
kind of guy.
51
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,906
Once you go people,
it's hard to go back.
52
00:02:49,255 --> 00:02:50,648
Well, that's too bad.
53
00:02:50,691 --> 00:02:51,997
We could use a man
like you.
54
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,303
I'll do it.
55
00:02:53,346 --> 00:02:55,087
Are you sure, Zeke?
56
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:57,698
I just--I didn't think
you were that kind of guy.
57
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,483
- What do you mean by that?
- Oh, nothing.
58
00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,093
It's just, you know,
you seem more...
59
00:03:01,136 --> 00:03:04,923
You're more, like, sensitive
and thoughtful. Um...
60
00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:06,359
Benny, help me out here?
61
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,361
She's saying you're
a weenie little bitch baby.
62
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:09,971
Okay, no, that's not helping.
63
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,017
Well, clearly, you have
the wrong impression of me.
64
00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:13,453
I'll show you what kind of man
I am. Give me that.
65
00:03:16,891 --> 00:03:17,892
Yeah, it's the other way
around, chief.
66
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,329
Yes, I know.
67
00:03:19,372 --> 00:03:20,808
- PRUDENCE: Hey, careful.
- Whoa. Whoop! Careful.
68
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:21,809
Whoa.
69
00:03:22,897 --> 00:03:23,985
Nice weight to it.
70
00:03:25,552 --> 00:03:26,684
Excellent.
71
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,342
WOMAN: That's
a beautiful stitch, Granny.
72
00:03:32,385 --> 00:03:34,779
I was nervous about
the diamond stitching,
73
00:03:34,822 --> 00:03:37,608
- but now it's my favorite.
- [women chuckle]
74
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,218
This sucks ass.
75
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,264
The men get to go and
do this cool hunting trip
76
00:03:41,307 --> 00:03:43,744
and we just have to sit here
stitching dumb blankets?
77
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,920
I find it
quite stimulating.
78
00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:49,315
Hey, howdy, gals.
79
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:51,752
Me and the mistress
are gonna hit the hot tub.
80
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,450
Taking a little me day.
81
00:03:53,493 --> 00:03:56,757
I can't believe he's not
gonna help with the hunt.
82
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:59,194
Should have expected as much
from a no-good outlaw.
83
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:01,371
He does whatever he wants,
answers to nobody.
84
00:04:01,414 --> 00:04:02,633
It's a life
of total freedom.
85
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,851
Who would want that?
86
00:04:06,854 --> 00:04:08,552
- Hey, Benny.
- Oh!
87
00:04:08,595 --> 00:04:10,380
I want you to teach me
how to be a bandit.
88
00:04:10,423 --> 00:04:11,903
And why would I do that?'Cause I don't want
89
00:04:11,946 --> 00:04:13,600
to spend my life
sewing dumb-ass quilts.
90
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:16,560
I want excitement
and adventure and just,
91
00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:19,084
to do whatever
the hell I want.No offense but
92
00:04:19,127 --> 00:04:21,042
you don't really
seem like the bandit type.
93
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,789
Not the type, huh?
94
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,183
Hey!Teach me how to be
a bandit now,
95
00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:33,185
or the whiskey gets it.All right, all right,
all right!
96
00:04:33,228 --> 00:04:34,665
I'll--I'll do
whatever you want.
97
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,320
Just leave her out of it.
98
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:41,541
Huh. Maybe you got some more
bandit in you than I thought.
99
00:04:43,804 --> 00:04:45,415
All right, men,
listen up.
100
00:04:45,458 --> 00:04:46,807
When we get out on
that hunting field,
101
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:49,549
there's gonna be one rule
and one rule only,
102
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,985
and that's kill
or be killed.
103
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,900
- MEN: Sir, yes, sir!
- Sir, yes, sir!
104
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:56,034
Oh, I'm sorry, Reverend,
I can't hear you.
105
00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:58,210
Are you ready to test
your manhood?Yes, sir.
106
00:04:58,253 --> 00:04:59,211
Tell me you're a man.
107
00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:00,560
I'm a man! I'm a man!
108
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,693
Oh, that's good.
109
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,348
Now let's get out there
and kick some buffalo ass!
110
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,356
They're everywhere.God help us.
111
00:05:13,399 --> 00:05:15,053
That's right, boys.
112
00:05:15,096 --> 00:05:17,185
You're staring into
the face of evil.
113
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,187
Really?
114
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,930
They don't look evil to me.
115
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,715
They look kind of sweet.
116
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,108
Get ready for war!
117
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,458
Sorry, are we looking
at the same thing?
118
00:05:33,027 --> 00:05:34,333
TODD:
Okay, here's the plan.
119
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,466
John, I want you
to take the perimeter.
120
00:05:36,509 --> 00:05:38,032
- Copy that.
- Lionel and I,
121
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,512
we'll advance along
the southern ridge.
122
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:42,036
I'm sorry, but is all
this strategizing necessary?
123
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,342
It really seems like
124
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,604
you can just
walk up and shoot them.
125
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:47,433
[scoffs] That's what
they want you to think.
126
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,393
Lure you into a false sense
of complacency
127
00:05:50,436 --> 00:05:52,786
and the second you take
your eyes off these monsters,
128
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:53,874
they rip your guts out.
129
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,746
Will they, though?
130
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,662
They look extremely
peaceful to me.
131
00:05:58,705 --> 00:06:01,273
Look, that one is just
rolling in the grass,
132
00:06:01,316 --> 00:06:02,274
enjoying the sunshine.
133
00:06:02,317 --> 00:06:03,667
And that one has befriended
134
00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:04,798
a little bunny rabbit.
135
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,104
What an unlikely
animal friendship.
136
00:06:06,147 --> 00:06:07,061
I can't take it anymore!
137
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,587
I didn't sign up
for this shit!
138
00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:11,979
I wanna go home!
139
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:14,025
Pull yourself together, man.
Come on.
140
00:06:14,068 --> 00:06:15,505
Think of the mission.
141
00:06:15,548 --> 00:06:17,637
Come on!
Think of the mission, man!
142
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,900
Clearly, I am
in the minority here,
143
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:23,251
but this just does not seem
like the test of manhood
144
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,427
it was presented as.
145
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:27,604
Reverend, don't move.
146
00:06:27,647 --> 00:06:30,084
There's one
right behind you.
147
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,085
Yep.
148
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,653
- Oh!
-[body thumps]
149
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:39,354
I got it.
I got it in one shot, baby!
150
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:42,096
Yeah!
151
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,490
And it was a massive
stationary target,
152
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:45,709
but sure.
153
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,277
Step 12 of
the Cincinnati Twist,
154
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,888
you wanna point your gun
155
00:06:50,931 --> 00:06:53,543
at a 45-degree angle
at point X,
156
00:06:53,586 --> 00:06:55,283
X being the person
you're aiming to kill.
157
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:57,503
And let me guess: you start
shooting like crazy,
158
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,200
just like every other move.
159
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:03,378
Yeah, that's right.
Wow, you're a quick learner.
160
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,119
All right, moving on.
Next subject.
161
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:06,860
Horse care and maintenance.
162
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,862
Now the first thing
you want to get
163
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,342
is a nice pretty brush.
164
00:07:10,385 --> 00:07:12,997
Oh, my God! We have been
doing this for hours!
165
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,956
When are we gonna start
doing real bandit stuff?
166
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,697
Now that's gonna take weeks.
167
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,526
First, you gotta earn
your bandit training permit.
168
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,789
Then you can do
daytime robberies,
169
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:25,444
but only with an experienced
outlaw present. Now...
170
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,533
This is bullshit.
No, come on, Benny.
171
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,448
I don't need
any of these rules.
172
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,449
I'm ready
for the real thing.
173
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,931
Oh, okay, hot shot.
174
00:07:33,974 --> 00:07:35,759
Want me to show you
the real thing?
175
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,372
It's about to get
very real.
176
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:45,029
Whoo, you see that?
One shot, baby. One shot.
177
00:07:45,072 --> 00:07:48,119
Oh, did you see the--
[laughs]
178
00:07:48,162 --> 00:07:49,816
Whoa! Stand back.
179
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:52,906
It's still alive.Poor thing.
It's in so much pain.
180
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,038
It's your first hunt,
Reverend.
181
00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:55,256
Why don't you
have the honors?
182
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,129
Oh, no. You're all right.
Um, yeah,
183
00:07:58,172 --> 00:07:59,609
this one's got Todd
written all over it. Come on.
184
00:07:59,652 --> 00:08:02,437
Thought you wanted to
prove that you're a man.
185
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,917
- I do.
- Well, a real man
186
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,050
always takes the kill shot.
187
00:08:06,093 --> 00:08:07,094
- Do it.
- JOHN: Take the shot, Rev.
188
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,269
MAN:
Do it, man. Do it!
189
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,184
Okay, if that's--
if that's what it takes.
190
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:11,708
Uh-huh.
191
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,799
Now get real close up
to its face.
192
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,460
[quietly] Apologies.
193
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:40,345
You're a real man now, Rev.
How does it feel?Good.
194
00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:42,477
It was cool how the brain
exploded all over me.
195
00:08:45,611 --> 00:08:47,526
Fur trappers. Yeah.
196
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,441
Come all the way
from "le France"
197
00:08:49,484 --> 00:08:50,964
to collect beaver pelts.
198
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,270
And we're gonna
rob 'em blind.
199
00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:54,098
Really? Just like that?
200
00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:55,621
Unless you're scared.
201
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:58,885
No, I am not scared.
I'm psyched.
202
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,322
All right, then.
Mask up.
203
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,327
[French accent]
You cannot wear
204
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:08,068
a raccoon skin hat
with a beaver jacket.
205
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,983
Freeze!
206
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:13,030
Anyone who moves
gets one between the eyes.
207
00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:15,859
How was that?
208
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:18,992
Okay, uh...
a couple notes.
209
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,690
Okay.When you walk in,
210
00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,605
just, uh, maybe
throw it away more.
211
00:09:22,648 --> 00:09:24,476
You know, like,
don't try to be a bandit,
212
00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:25,912
just be a bandit.
213
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,958
Okay, yeah, that's good.
Felt a little stiff.
214
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,046
Is it cool
if I take it again?
215
00:09:29,089 --> 00:09:30,438
Uh...okay.
216
00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:35,705
[blows raspberry] Whoo.
217
00:09:35,748 --> 00:09:37,184
Freeze.
218
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,446
Anyone who moves
219
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,144
gets one between the eyes.
220
00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:42,712
Okay, that felt good.
221
00:09:42,755 --> 00:09:44,888
I not only believed it,
I felt it.
222
00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:46,672
Magnifique.
Very scary.
223
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:47,934
Thank you so much.
224
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,501
I don't know, you guys.
I love the fit,
225
00:09:49,544 --> 00:09:51,459
but I feel like it
makes me look a little bit fat.
226
00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:52,591
Do you think so?
227
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,421
Dingus.
What are you doing here?
228
00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:58,684
Well, I'm not just
a bounty hunter, Benny.
229
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,513
I'm also...a bargain hunter.
230
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,083
Really? You're not
gonna laugh at that? Huh?
231
00:10:06,126 --> 00:10:07,258
I'm putting myself out there,
232
00:10:07,301 --> 00:10:08,520
trying to be funny,
in this heat.
233
00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:11,654
Well, anyway.
234
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,004
Get down!
235
00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:20,706
Okay, Benny.
What's the plan?
236
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,403
Well, this happens
sometimes.
237
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,362
He got the drop on us.
So now we just wait
238
00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:26,190
for one of the bullets
to hit us, and then we die.
239
00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:27,757
We die? That's the plan?
240
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,106
How much
was this one again?
241
00:10:29,149 --> 00:10:30,629
What about
the Cincinnati Twist?
242
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,500
You mean just
shoot like crazy?
243
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:33,937
Hey, that might work.
244
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,025
All right, on three?
245
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,201
BOTH: One, two, three!
246
00:10:48,429 --> 00:10:50,997
What are you doing?I'm grabbing their shit!
Ha ha!
247
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:52,956
Au revoir, bitches!
248
00:10:52,999 --> 00:10:54,784
Ha! That's my girl!
249
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,095
Yeah, I'll take this.
250
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,185
We did it, men.
251
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:08,493
This'll make a fine addition
to my trophy room.
252
00:11:08,536 --> 00:11:10,451
Hey, Rev! Come on,
get in on this.
253
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,758
- Uh, no thanks. I'm okay.
- Come on, you're the MVP.
254
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,760
You shot the bastard's
damn brains out.
255
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:15,935
Go on,
get in there, Rev.
256
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,197
- Get over here!
- I said no thanks.
257
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,199
To be honest, I feel sick
about what we did.
258
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,114
What I did.
Killing an innocent creature
259
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,072
just to prove I'm a man.
260
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,248
I mean...pathetic.
261
00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:26,119
Wow. I'm sorry.
262
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:28,078
I just didn't realize
that, um,
263
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,820
the reverend was such
a buffalo lover over here.
264
00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,345
Hey guys, try and guess
who I am. Ready?
265
00:11:34,388 --> 00:11:36,434
[English accent]
Ooh! Look at me!
266
00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:38,001
My name's Ezekiel!
267
00:11:38,044 --> 00:11:40,960
[men laughing]I love buffalo so much,
268
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,832
I want to
have sex with 'em!
269
00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:46,487
- I don't sound like that.
- I like to 69 'em.
270
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:48,707
That's disrespectful
to the buffalo.
271
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:51,928
Oh! Ooh! [laughs]
Actually feels good.
272
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:55,975
Todd. Todd!
273
00:11:58,064 --> 00:11:59,762
Todd!
There is a bear behind you!
274
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:07,682
- [bear growls]
- I'm sorry for humping
275
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,075
your friend, Mr. Bear.
It was an accident.
276
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,468
- Guys, what do we do?
- Get outta here!
277
00:12:10,511 --> 00:12:12,122
What? Run?
278
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,863
- Come on. Let's go!
- [bear roars]
279
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,780
- [Todd whimpering]
- In there! In there!
280
00:12:22,436 --> 00:12:25,526
Whoa. Bad day to wear
my velvet underwear.
281
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:31,097
Because I shit
my velvet underwear.Right.
282
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:36,059
Oh, man!
I love being a bandit.
283
00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:37,408
That was so cool,
remember?
284
00:12:37,451 --> 00:12:38,539
You're like,
"One, two, three,"
285
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,627
and it was like,
"Pow pow pow pow!"
286
00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:41,238
And they were so scared!
Oh, my God.
287
00:12:41,281 --> 00:12:42,848
I feel alive.
288
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,676
Not bad for
your first stick-up.
289
00:12:44,719 --> 00:12:46,896
Well, not bad for
your first time teaching.
290
00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:50,073
Actually,
it's my second time.
291
00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:51,683
I also taught my daughter.
292
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,034
How did I not know
you have a daughter?
293
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,080
Tell me everything.
294
00:12:57,123 --> 00:12:58,559
Fine.
295
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,866
But this is just between
us outlaws.
296
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,650
Just between outlaws.
297
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,087
The story starts
a long time ago.
298
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,874
Yeah. I was on my own
back then.
299
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,876
My career was starting
to take off
300
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:11,877
when I met her
for the first time.
301
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:12,878
Ha ha ha!
302
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:17,100
Hey, you lost, kid?
303
00:13:17,143 --> 00:13:19,450
Don't worry,
I'm not gonna hurt you.
304
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,323
She was violent and deranged,
305
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:24,803
like a feral animal.
306
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,457
Ow!
307
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,589
In other words,
a chip off the old block.
308
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,635
- Aw...
- [bell ringing]
309
00:13:30,678 --> 00:13:32,898
Soon enough, we were
pulling cons together.
310
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,682
All right, Trig,
it's go time.
311
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,902
What's the golden rule?
312
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,339
Get money and kill anybody
who gets in the way.
313
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:40,819
Atta girl.
314
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,386
We were the perfect team.
315
00:13:42,429 --> 00:13:44,823
I was the pretty face,
and she was the muscle.
316
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,042
Howdy, mister.
317
00:13:46,085 --> 00:13:48,131
Can I get a lump
of ice cream, please?
318
00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:50,568
Aw, I can't say no
to that smile.
319
00:13:50,611 --> 00:13:51,743
Gimme all your money.
320
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,921
When I got a gang
of my own,
321
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,270
she was my right hand man.
322
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,229
All right, Trig.
323
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,447
It's go time.
324
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,842
Remember the golden rule?
325
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,671
Get money and kill anyone
who gets in the way.
326
00:14:06,714 --> 00:14:08,934
Atta girl.
327
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,417
She was the best outlaw
I'd ever seen.
328
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:17,812
Quick, cunning,
and most of all, ruthless.
329
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,163
Aw, we did it, Trig!
We're rich!
330
00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:23,862
No...
331
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,168
I'm rich.
332
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,041
Gosh, Benny.
333
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,175
I'm so sorry.
334
00:14:32,218 --> 00:14:33,567
Your own daughter?
335
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,743
The crazy thing is,
336
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:36,875
even after all that,
337
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,790
I still miss her.
338
00:14:43,229 --> 00:14:44,883
But hey, that's
the bandit life for you.
339
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:47,494
[chuckles]
Can't trust anyone.
340
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,844
But it's worth it
for all this freedom.
341
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:51,759
I wouldn't have it
any other way.
342
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,500
No siree bob.
343
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,291
You think the bear's gone?
344
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,250
I'll check.
345
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,779
Nope. Still there.
346
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:15,348
Hey, I'm sorry
I made fun of you earlier.
347
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,307
I'd be dead meat
if you hadn't saved my life.
348
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,874
[chuckles] God!
I'm such a loser.
349
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:22,355
Come on, don't be
so hard on yourself.No, it's true.
350
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,836
The only reason I led
this hunting party
351
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:26,446
was to impress Prudence.
352
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,448
I thought if
I could prove to her
353
00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:30,015
how strong and manly I was,
354
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,756
she would fall in love
with me again.
355
00:15:31,799 --> 00:15:34,019
A silly thing
to want to prove.
356
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,629
Hey, what do you think?
357
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:36,804
I mean,
you're her best friend.
358
00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:39,720
Am I fighting for something
that'll never work?
359
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:42,071
Should I just give up
and let her go?
360
00:15:42,114 --> 00:15:44,377
Just shoot me straight.
What should I do?
361
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,509
[TODD and JOHN, echoing]
Come on, man.
362
00:15:45,552 --> 00:15:46,989
- Take the shot.
- Come on.
363
00:15:47,032 --> 00:15:48,555
-Take the kill shot.
-Take the shot, Rev.
364
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,775
- Quit being a sissy.
- Take the shot, Rev.
365
00:15:52,298 --> 00:15:53,647
Um...
366
00:15:54,648 --> 00:15:56,999
No, you shouldn't give up.
You should...
367
00:15:57,042 --> 00:15:58,391
You should try
and make it work.
368
00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,740
Tell her how you feel.
369
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,743
I'm no good at the fancy words
like you are.
370
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,310
I mean,
I could write something
371
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,182
for you to read to her.
372
00:16:06,225 --> 00:16:07,792
Really? You'd do that
for me?
373
00:16:07,835 --> 00:16:09,315
Yeah.
374
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,490
Psst! Hey, guys!
375
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:11,926
The bear is asleep.
376
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,189
I'm gonna lead him that way,
377
00:16:13,232 --> 00:16:14,407
and you two
make a run for it.
378
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:16,888
That's crazy.
That's a suicide mission.
379
00:16:16,931 --> 00:16:19,325
It's okay.
380
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:21,284
I'm not afraid anymore.
381
00:16:21,327 --> 00:16:22,850
I want this.
382
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,156
For myself.
383
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,593
Godspeed, soldier.
384
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,465
See you boys
on the other side, huh?
385
00:16:30,336 --> 00:16:34,210
LIONEL: Hey, bear!
Come and get me!
386
00:16:34,253 --> 00:16:36,516
Oh, no!
He instantly caught me!
387
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,040
- [bear growls]
- Ah, the bear's eating me
388
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,345
from the feet up!
389
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:42,131
Half my body is currently
in the bear!
390
00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:43,871
- [bear growls]
- Oh, God! The bear brought
391
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:45,308
another bear friend!
392
00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:47,614
I am now being eaten
by two bears!
393
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,051
From either direction!
394
00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:51,749
This plan could not
have gone any worse!
395
00:16:56,797 --> 00:16:58,451
- We gonna head out?
- Yeah, I think we should go.
396
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:00,149
- Okay.
- I'm gonna grab my stuff.
397
00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:03,500
Hey, Benny.
398
00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:04,762
- Whoa!
- Got the drop on you.
399
00:17:04,805 --> 00:17:06,198
Oop! Don't shoot.[chuckles]
400
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,765
Hey, slick.
401
00:17:07,808 --> 00:17:10,376
Are you ready for
another big day of outlawing?
402
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,900
[chuckles]
Yeah, actually,
403
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,163
Benny, um,
404
00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:16,208
I don't think
being a bandit is for me.
405
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:20,604
You know, I thought I wanted
the life that you have,
406
00:17:20,647 --> 00:17:22,649
but, seems kinda lonely.
407
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,001
Are you gonna be okay?
408
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:31,093
[scoffs]
Don't worry about me.
409
00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:33,747
I don't need you.
I don't need anybody.
410
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,793
I got all the friends
I need right here.
411
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,886
Well, uh,
if you ever want,
412
00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,844
you're always welcome
at the quilting circle.
413
00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:49,850
So I am fighting
this stain,
414
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,243
trying everything
to get it out,
415
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,549
but nothing's working!
416
00:17:52,592 --> 00:17:54,464
- So what did you do?
- Gave up.
417
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,682
Told John he needs
to start
418
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,336
pulling his drawers
down in time.
419
00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,209
Go, Martha.[laughter]
420
00:18:00,252 --> 00:18:01,906
Sorry I was being
kind of a jerk yesterday.
421
00:18:01,949 --> 00:18:03,299
We're just glad
to have you back.
422
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:06,867
And I'm glad
I'm here, too.
423
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:09,174
[chuckles]
You ladies are a hoot.
424
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:12,003
Turns out,
I'm a natural at quilting.
425
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,399
It's a butterfly.
426
00:18:16,442 --> 00:18:17,878
Oh, I see it.
427
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:21,012
- [ox moos]
- Oh, the men are back!
428
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,283
Zeke!
429
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,372
- How did it go?
- Ah, not great.
430
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:36,027
Yeah, turns out I am not
really the hunting type.
431
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:38,203
Gosh, I'm just happy
you're back in one piece.
432
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:40,510
Me, too.
- [metallic clanging]
433
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,427
Excuse me, everyone!
434
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:46,516
I'd like to read
something to my wife.
435
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,822
Todd.
What are you doing?
436
00:18:52,086 --> 00:18:53,827
"Dearest Prudence,
437
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:56,613
You are my best friend.
438
00:18:56,656 --> 00:18:59,137
"But you're so much more
than that.
439
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,270
"You're the most amazing
woman I've ever met.
440
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,882
"This journey
is changing us all
441
00:19:04,925 --> 00:19:06,971
in ways we can't pr--"
442
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,409
Pr--
443
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:11,628
Predict.
444
00:19:11,671 --> 00:19:13,151
"But I promise
445
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:15,327
"I will always
be by your side.
446
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,590
[mouths words]I love you."
447
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,028
Todd.
448
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,639
That was beautiful.
449
00:19:22,682 --> 00:19:24,815
I had no idea
you felt that way.
450
00:19:24,858 --> 00:19:26,382
Me neither.
451
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,254
JOHN:
We got a buffalo!
452
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,868
Oh, man. It's a good thing
you and Prude
453
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,827
are just friends or
this would really sting.
454
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:39,351
Yeah. Good thing.
455
00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:43,312
We are gathered together
456
00:19:43,355 --> 00:19:44,661
to mourn
the death of Lionel,
457
00:19:44,704 --> 00:19:47,011
who bravely
sacrificed himself...
458
00:19:47,054 --> 00:19:49,143
Reverend?
Tell us how he died.
459
00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:51,798
Oh, no, I'm--
460
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,931
I'm not sure
that's a great idea.
461
00:19:53,974 --> 00:19:55,280
It would bring me peace
462
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,282
to know how my husband
spent his final moments.
463
00:19:58,370 --> 00:19:59,719
Very well, then.
464
00:20:01,286 --> 00:20:04,246
Lionel was attacked...
465
00:20:04,289 --> 00:20:07,161
by not one,
but two bears...
466
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:10,730
- [wife cries]
- who ate him alive
467
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:14,865
as one might
an extra-long chili dog.
468
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:18,260
- I can stop.
- No, please.
469
00:20:18,303 --> 00:20:20,262
It's helping.
470
00:20:20,305 --> 00:20:21,306
[softly] Okay.
471
00:20:22,829 --> 00:20:24,831
At a certain point,
the bears became bored
472
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,834
of eating Lionel,
and engaged in a game
473
00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:30,968
of what can
only be described as...
474
00:20:31,011 --> 00:20:32,535
bear volleyball.
475
00:20:32,578 --> 00:20:35,538
[sobs] Go on.
476
00:20:35,581 --> 00:20:37,888
- Please don't make me.
- Please.
477
00:20:37,931 --> 00:20:39,542
You owe me this.
478
00:20:39,585 --> 00:20:42,066
That is when things
got "bad,"
479
00:20:42,109 --> 00:20:44,982
as the bears proceeded
to place Lionel's head
480
00:20:45,025 --> 00:20:47,941
into a sort of...
bear cannon.
481
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,599
Start again
from the top.
482
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:55,906
But this time
more detail.
33921
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