Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,707 --> 00:00:06,327
All right the happy couple
is three minutes out.
2
00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:07,548
This is so romantic.
3
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,652
This lady has no idea
she's about to adopt a kid
4
00:00:09,653 --> 00:00:11,756
and then get proposed to
on the same day.
5
00:00:11,757 --> 00:00:12,825
Couple goals!
6
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:13,894
Yeah. Wow.
7
00:00:13,895 --> 00:00:14,963
Just what every woman wants.
8
00:00:14,964 --> 00:00:17,635
To take care of two living
things until they die.
9
00:00:17,636 --> 00:00:19,973
What a great way to start a marriage.
10
00:00:19,974 --> 00:00:21,441
Through deception.
11
00:00:21,442 --> 00:00:23,714
I hid Maya's ring in a cupcake.
12
00:00:23,715 --> 00:00:27,186
And then I forgot about it,
and I ate it.
13
00:00:27,187 --> 00:00:28,923
And then I went to the hospital.
14
00:00:28,924 --> 00:00:30,727
Okay. Places, people.
15
00:00:30,728 --> 00:00:32,753
You're coming, you're coming,
we're all going.
16
00:00:32,754 --> 00:00:33,766
Here you go.
17
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,303
Good! Good, good, good. Good.
18
00:00:35,304 --> 00:00:37,543
They're here. They're here!
19
00:00:37,876 --> 00:00:40,581
Glad we didn't overcomplicate this.
20
00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:45,423
Jessica broke up with me
in the parking lot.
21
00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:48,696
Congratulations!
22
00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:19,917
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
23
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,533
I miss bath crayons.
24
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:25,603
You know, you're soakin',
you're drawin'.
25
00:01:25,604 --> 00:01:27,541
You make a mistake,
you scrub it off the tub.
26
00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:30,311
You fall asleep, you drown
in two inches of water.
27
00:01:30,312 --> 00:01:31,352
Sorry.
28
00:01:31,353 --> 00:01:33,385
I finished that story
the way I wanted it to end.
29
00:01:33,386 --> 00:01:34,689
Dispatch to Truck 12.
30
00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:36,491
There's an emotional support
donkey loose
31
00:01:36,492 --> 00:01:37,895
in Seattle Grace Hospital.
32
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:39,431
Truck 12 responding.
33
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,368
Hmm. A creature known only for kicking
34
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:42,470
as a support animal.
35
00:01:42,471 --> 00:01:44,241
At least they're already near the ER.
36
00:01:44,242 --> 00:01:46,211
When I was a boy, I had a hermit crab
37
00:01:46,212 --> 00:01:47,981
with the patience of an angel.
38
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,919
Turns out it was just a shell.
39
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,556
Nothing inside. But...
40
00:01:51,557 --> 00:01:54,128
that shell got me through
some really hard times.
41
00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:57,568
Hey, guys. I've gotten a few calls about
42
00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:59,572
a deceased raccoon
in the middle of Boylston Ave,
43
00:01:59,573 --> 00:02:01,475
Olive Road. Can you pick him up?
44
00:02:01,476 --> 00:02:03,747
Starting the morning with a splat.
45
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,483
We're on it.
Do you wanna scoop the splat,
46
00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:06,953
or do you wanna be a bag duty?
47
00:02:06,954 --> 00:02:08,489
If it's a flat splat, I'll scoop.
48
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:09,959
- Mm-hmm.
- They're actually kinda fun.
49
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,696
It's like peeling off nail polish.
50
00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:13,032
Okay, you guys realize
51
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,835
you're still on the radio, right?
52
00:02:14,836 --> 00:02:16,639
Uh... no, we're not, I...
53
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,275
I still got my finger on the button.
54
00:02:18,276 --> 00:02:19,344
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
55
00:02:19,345 --> 00:02:20,747
It's just a little too soon, guys.
56
00:02:20,748 --> 00:02:22,284
The raccoon had a family.
57
00:02:22,285 --> 00:02:23,386
It's just shop talk.
58
00:02:23,387 --> 00:02:25,877
You can't take the heat,
you get outta the kitchen.
59
00:02:25,878 --> 00:02:26,926
Well, I'm trying to,
60
00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:28,362
but you keep holding down the button.
61
00:02:28,363 --> 00:02:29,967
- Oh, whoops.
- Your thumb is on it!
62
00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:34,074
So, a volunteer said the donkey
got spooked when a patient
63
00:02:34,075 --> 00:02:36,278
rang the "done with chemo" bell.
64
00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:41,489
Oh.
65
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,831
Hope this isn't contagious.
66
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,770
Hello there, you rough draft of a horse.
67
00:02:48,771 --> 00:02:50,508
There you go.
68
00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:53,045
All right. Nice.
69
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,749
This place stinks!
70
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:58,523
Nothing good on the TV.
And what the hell keeps beepin?
71
00:02:58,524 --> 00:02:59,691
It can't be.
72
00:03:01,196 --> 00:03:02,998
- It's definitely him.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:04,736
- What happened, Dad?
- Nothing.
74
00:03:04,737 --> 00:03:07,808
I just love hangin' around in hospitals.
75
00:03:07,809 --> 00:03:09,712
I had a heart attack!
76
00:03:09,713 --> 00:03:10,814
Ya boob.
77
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,517
Papa Shaw, no!
78
00:03:12,518 --> 00:03:14,321
- Are you okay?
- I'm gonna be fine.
79
00:03:14,322 --> 00:03:16,325
Shoot. Maybe we could get
a second opinion?
80
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,929
You can ask your new girlfriend here.
81
00:03:18,363 --> 00:03:21,636
There's that classic
Shaw family love language. Hate.
82
00:03:21,637 --> 00:03:23,540
I'm gonna call Patrick.
I assume you were
83
00:03:23,541 --> 00:03:25,510
too proud to notify
any of your other children?
84
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:27,881
I'm not proud of anything
involving my children.
85
00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:29,451
You know, it's weird that someone with
86
00:03:29,452 --> 00:03:30,587
a charcoal briquette for a heart
87
00:03:30,588 --> 00:03:32,356
could even have a heart attack.
88
00:03:32,357 --> 00:03:34,595
Yeah, a lotta love
being hurled around in here.
89
00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:36,699
Can you get that ass outta my room?
90
00:03:38,102 --> 00:03:40,274
You're gonna have to be more specific.
91
00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:43,713
Did you see the look
on that dead raccoon's face?
92
00:03:43,714 --> 00:03:45,984
- He was like...
- No, he was more like...
93
00:03:45,985 --> 00:03:47,556
- Like, scared.
- Yeah.
94
00:03:47,956 --> 00:03:49,057
- Yeah.
- Hey, Patel.
95
00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:50,426
I have some bad news, uh...
96
00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:52,363
Somehow all of the food
that was donated for
97
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:54,383
your community outreach event
caught on fire.
98
00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:55,416
Wh... wh-what?
99
00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:56,639
How does that even happen?
100
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,743
Yeah, well, we think
it might've been a spark
101
00:03:58,744 --> 00:04:00,748
from an electrical wire.
I mean, Roman's contractors
102
00:04:00,749 --> 00:04:02,584
really cut a lot of corners putting
103
00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:03,620
this place together, so...
104
00:04:03,621 --> 00:04:07,695
Also, his crew had the worst
catcalling game. Lotta repeats.
105
00:04:07,696 --> 00:04:11,502
Yeah, I do agree with that. Um,
luckily the fire was contained, but,
106
00:04:11,503 --> 00:04:13,840
yeah, all the food is obviously ruined.
107
00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:14,875
I need all that kibble.
108
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,846
We open up the kennel on
Wednesdays to give away
109
00:04:16,847 --> 00:04:18,683
free food to the public.
What am I supposed to do?
110
00:04:18,684 --> 00:04:20,687
Just, like, sit there
and take in the frowns
111
00:04:20,688 --> 00:04:21,889
and the disappointment like I'm at home?
112
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:24,194
Well, I would just restock.
I mean, you still have money
113
00:04:24,195 --> 00:04:25,496
in the outreach budget, right?
114
00:04:25,497 --> 00:04:26,959
Yeah, that's a good point.
115
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,714
I don't have any of the money!
I blew through all of it
116
00:04:28,715 --> 00:04:29,905
for the Sip n' Snip.
117
00:04:29,906 --> 00:04:31,375
I shouldn't have got those swag bags!
118
00:04:31,376 --> 00:04:33,178
Again, still holding down the button!
119
00:04:33,179 --> 00:04:34,214
- Oh!
- What do you mean
120
00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:35,684
- the money's gone?
- I gotta stop doing that.
121
00:04:35,685 --> 00:04:36,986
Turn her off.
122
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:38,389
You just have to get creative.
123
00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:39,725
I'll help you.
124
00:04:39,726 --> 00:04:40,728
Thanks.
125
00:04:42,131 --> 00:04:43,165
Did you start the fire?
126
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:45,804
Accidentally, yeah, I did.
I started the fire.
127
00:04:45,805 --> 00:04:47,440
But-I was smoking weed in there.
128
00:04:47,441 --> 00:04:48,803
Mm-hmm. So, let me get this straight.
129
00:04:48,804 --> 00:04:51,823
You were getting high by the dry
goods at the place where you work.
130
00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:56,424
I wasn't getting high. It was one joint.
131
00:04:56,425 --> 00:04:58,462
Would it kill you
to get me a cheeseburger?
132
00:04:58,463 --> 00:05:00,767
Dad, are you okay?
133
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:02,604
I brought you calla lilies.
Mom's favorite.
134
00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:04,174
Did you get those at the same drugstore
135
00:05:04,175 --> 00:05:05,577
you buy your tampons?
136
00:05:05,578 --> 00:05:08,316
Thanks for coming.
He needed a fresh target.
137
00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,285
Good news, Mr. Shaw.
138
00:05:10,286 --> 00:05:12,725
Your numbers have stabilized,
so we're gonna discharge you.
139
00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:15,429
Oh, hey! Let the healing begin.
140
00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:17,100
You sure you don't need
to keep him for, like,
141
00:05:17,101 --> 00:05:18,637
a month or two?
142
00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:21,174
Yeah, we'll sign off on any
unnecessary exams and probes.
143
00:05:21,175 --> 00:05:22,644
The nurses have made it very clear.
144
00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:24,081
If we don't discharge him
as soon as possible,
145
00:05:24,082 --> 00:05:25,651
they will strike.
146
00:05:25,652 --> 00:05:27,588
Wow. Banned from a Denny's,
a church, and now a hospital.
147
00:05:27,589 --> 00:05:30,193
- Kind of on a hot streak.
- Whatever. I'm going home.
148
00:05:30,194 --> 00:05:31,335
Little miss.
149
00:05:31,336 --> 00:05:33,199
You get my trousers and look away.
150
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,736
I...
151
00:05:35,237 --> 00:05:38,643
He should make a full recovery,
but he'll need to be monitored.
152
00:05:38,644 --> 00:05:41,081
I suggest he stay with
one of you for the week.
153
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:43,953
Not it! Nose goes.
154
00:05:43,954 --> 00:05:45,857
- Rock, paper, scissors.
- Best out of five.
155
00:05:45,858 --> 00:05:47,595
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
156
00:05:47,596 --> 00:05:49,064
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
157
00:05:49,065 --> 00:05:50,225
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
158
00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:52,605
- A smart guy would do paper right now.
- Then do it, smart guy.
159
00:05:52,606 --> 00:05:53,907
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
160
00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:55,578
Tap! Ow!
161
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:57,715
Come on.
162
00:05:57,716 --> 00:05:59,719
This is our father
that we're talking about.
163
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,623
You're right. This isn't a game.
164
00:06:01,624 --> 00:06:03,259
First one to the medical waste bin
165
00:06:03,260 --> 00:06:04,895
- around the corner wins.
- Okay.
166
00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:06,632
I don't agree with anything
that brought us here,
167
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,503
but I love a competition.
168
00:06:08,504 --> 00:06:09,972
On your marks.
169
00:06:09,973 --> 00:06:11,141
And...
170
00:06:11,142 --> 00:06:12,377
Go!
171
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,916
I hope you enjoy emptying bedpa...
172
00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:33,185
Ah!
173
00:06:37,194 --> 00:06:39,130
Ha! Ha! I win!
174
00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:40,823
Yeah, only because I got doored.
175
00:06:40,824 --> 00:06:41,970
Doesn't matter.
176
00:06:41,971 --> 00:06:43,706
'Cause you have to take Dad.
177
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,744
You have to take Dad.
178
00:06:46,947 --> 00:06:48,182
Oh. Oh...
179
00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:56,264
I don't know how to work this crap.
180
00:06:56,265 --> 00:06:57,667
Yeah, that's the idea.
181
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,003
Keep you distracted for a couple hours.
182
00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:01,141
I almost forgot, if you need anything,
183
00:07:01,142 --> 00:07:02,912
anything at all...
184
00:07:02,913 --> 00:07:04,014
Whistle for Frank.
185
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:06,652
Here we go, Mr. Shaw.
186
00:07:06,653 --> 00:07:08,122
Ow!
187
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:10,727
Keep this kid from
messing around back there.
188
00:07:10,728 --> 00:07:12,564
Are you trying to take my wallet?
189
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,234
I took your wallet, and keys.
190
00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:17,073
And as fun as it would be to
watch, Doc says you can't drive.
191
00:07:17,074 --> 00:07:18,844
So, I'm stuck in this frickin' dump?
192
00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:20,747
Okay, well, as the owner of this house,
193
00:07:20,748 --> 00:07:21,982
dump feels like a strong word.
194
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,854
I mean, have you seen
the new backsplash?
195
00:07:23,855 --> 00:07:26,593
Scooter Munchkin here is your landlord?
196
00:07:26,594 --> 00:07:28,863
How are you still renting at your age?
197
00:07:28,864 --> 00:07:30,065
Well, you could stay at my place, Dad.
198
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:33,645
But remember, the condo board
deemed you as undesirable.
199
00:07:33,646 --> 00:07:36,044
Hey, hey, hey. One of you knuckleheads
200
00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:38,616
go and get my sweater back at the house.
201
00:07:38,617 --> 00:07:40,352
The blue one.
202
00:07:40,353 --> 00:07:42,691
I cannot do it. I'm still at work.
203
00:07:42,692 --> 00:07:45,262
I got an active DUI
checkpoint going right now.
204
00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:47,067
Dad, goodbye. Frank...
205
00:07:47,502 --> 00:07:49,036
I'm turning off my phone.
206
00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:51,676
Shred, the backsplash is amazing.
207
00:07:53,246 --> 00:07:54,715
I need my sweater.
208
00:07:54,716 --> 00:07:56,552
I'm not driving to your house
to get your sweater.
209
00:07:56,553 --> 00:07:57,688
You can borrow one of mine.
210
00:07:57,689 --> 00:07:59,992
Oh, just give me a second
to find the itchiest one.
211
00:08:04,636 --> 00:08:05,904
Fine, I'll pick it up during lunch.
212
00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:08,810
Unless you wanna have an even
bigger heart attack right now
213
00:08:08,811 --> 00:08:10,279
and just be done with it?
214
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,083
No? All right.
215
00:08:13,152 --> 00:08:15,757
I'll leave that with you.
And Mr. Shaw...
216
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:20,801
these lights are on a dimmer,
if that helps you relax.
217
00:08:23,607 --> 00:08:26,110
Maybe we can still
give this away if we just say
218
00:08:26,111 --> 00:08:27,680
it's been slow-roasted?
219
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:30,320
Yeah, yeah, these carcinogens
probably taste great.
220
00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:32,724
- Hi.
- Hi. Sorry.
221
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,728
The, uh, donation center's
temporarily closed.
222
00:08:34,729 --> 00:08:38,035
We are, uh, out of inventory right now.
223
00:08:38,036 --> 00:08:40,305
I'd actually like to make a donation.
224
00:08:40,306 --> 00:08:42,309
I don't need this food anymore,
225
00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:43,880
my... cat passed away.
226
00:08:43,881 --> 00:08:45,049
Oh.
227
00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:48,288
Well, let me just
take this moment to say...
228
00:08:48,289 --> 00:08:50,994
Your cat has amazing timing.
229
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,971
Thank you! Sorry for your loss.
230
00:08:56,272 --> 00:08:57,775
We need pet food.
231
00:08:57,776 --> 00:08:59,277
But you know who doesn't?
232
00:08:59,278 --> 00:09:00,746
Dead pets.
233
00:09:00,747 --> 00:09:03,418
Wait, I hope you're not
suggesting that we kill pets.
234
00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:06,359
No, but I think I have a plan.
235
00:09:07,027 --> 00:09:09,363
Yeah, now I gotta
check in with my dumb dad
236
00:09:09,364 --> 00:09:10,432
every couple of hours.
237
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,738
Because of a major cardiac
event he experienced.
238
00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:13,973
He's gonna outlive us all.
239
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:15,677
He told me that on my 10th birthday.
240
00:09:15,678 --> 00:09:18,215
And now he's at my house,
probably rifling through all my stuff.
241
00:09:18,216 --> 00:09:20,219
Are you worried he's gonna
find your diary?
242
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,325
It's a captain's log
and he's never gonna find it.
243
00:09:23,326 --> 00:09:25,095
I have it hidden behind...
244
00:09:25,096 --> 00:09:26,833
Oh. Nice try.
245
00:09:28,838 --> 00:09:30,439
Wait, what's that,
what's that rustling sound?
246
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,708
Is that potato chips?
247
00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:33,312
No, that would be crinklier.
248
00:09:33,313 --> 00:09:34,347
No, no, Frank is
249
00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:36,852
stress eating sugar-free
gummy worms right now.
250
00:09:36,853 --> 00:09:38,956
Look, I've been grinding
my teeth lately.
251
00:09:38,957 --> 00:09:41,261
It's a dissolvable bite guard, okay?
252
00:09:41,262 --> 00:09:43,265
You eat all the sweet treats
you need, buddy, it's...
253
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:45,770
It's tough taking care of
an aging parent, it really is.
254
00:09:45,771 --> 00:09:47,473
Your mom's, like, 45. Whatever.
255
00:09:47,474 --> 00:09:49,845
Uh, actually, my mom just turned 50,
256
00:09:49,846 --> 00:09:51,081
and I can't wait to take care of her
257
00:09:51,082 --> 00:09:53,786
'cause she's gonna be such
a fun roommate, she really is.
258
00:09:53,787 --> 00:09:56,491
Yep. Aging parents can be tough.
259
00:09:56,492 --> 00:09:57,828
Not for me, personally.
260
00:09:57,829 --> 00:09:59,063
I got all these siblings and cousins.
261
00:09:59,064 --> 00:10:00,733
I'm never gonna have to worry about it.
262
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,871
Yeah, my sister's
on the hook for our parents
263
00:10:02,872 --> 00:10:05,275
'cause she's a hospice nurse,
so she's, like, really sweet
264
00:10:05,276 --> 00:10:07,413
- about gross old people.
- Yeah, they're gross.
265
00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:09,450
We're both lucky.
266
00:10:09,451 --> 00:10:11,054
- Hi, Emily.
- Hey, Frank.
267
00:10:11,055 --> 00:10:13,458
Your, um... your dad is here.
268
00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:15,463
What? Ugh!
269
00:10:15,464 --> 00:10:17,032
Look, he senses heat like the Predator.
270
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,771
My best advice is to cover
yourself in mud and don't move.
271
00:10:19,772 --> 00:10:21,909
He's been strongly
requesting his sweater.
272
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:23,746
I offered him my office cardigan,
273
00:10:23,747 --> 00:10:26,184
and he said he does not
like balloon sleeves.
274
00:10:26,185 --> 00:10:27,821
You have my permission to put him down.
275
00:10:27,822 --> 00:10:29,390
I wanna watch the Mariner game.
276
00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:30,560
Okay. Yeah.
277
00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:32,530
We can set you up on the iPad
until Frank gets back.
278
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:34,669
And bring me my sweater, dipstick.
279
00:10:35,137 --> 00:10:37,340
Yeah, and bring the sweater, dipstick.
280
00:10:37,341 --> 00:10:38,977
Sorry, Frank.
281
00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:43,653
- Don't look at me.
- Okay.
282
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:49,397
No pine tar players who aren't fat.
283
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:52,202
Baseball's not the same game.
284
00:10:52,203 --> 00:10:53,203
Mm-hmm.
285
00:10:54,407 --> 00:10:55,943
Oh, sorry, um,
286
00:10:55,944 --> 00:10:57,709
I can change that if you
wanna watch something else.
287
00:10:57,710 --> 00:11:00,151
No, this is a good one. Pedro
and Gemma get into a fight.
288
00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:01,922
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait.
Are-are you telling me
289
00:11:01,923 --> 00:11:03,826
that you watch Hot Pursuit?
290
00:11:03,827 --> 00:11:05,863
Well, at first I thought
it was a cop show,
291
00:11:05,864 --> 00:11:06,932
and then it got its hooks in me.
292
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,404
It's literally my favorite
dating show of all time.
293
00:11:09,405 --> 00:11:10,540
We have to turn the volume up.
294
00:11:10,541 --> 00:11:12,109
Throw the subtitles on too.
295
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:15,217
Definitely. I can never
understand what Gemma is saying.
296
00:11:16,152 --> 00:11:19,525
A donation like this would be
a wonderful way to honor
297
00:11:19,526 --> 00:11:21,060
the memory of Rusty.
298
00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:24,233
Yeah, now that he's crossed
over the Rainbow Bridge,
299
00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:27,173
his earthly possessions
can be put to good use.
300
00:11:28,009 --> 00:11:30,113
I think Rusty would've liked that.
301
00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:32,952
Absolutely. Yeah.
302
00:11:33,419 --> 00:11:35,289
Oh, come here, you.
303
00:11:35,624 --> 00:11:37,961
I know this is a difficult time, but...
304
00:11:37,962 --> 00:11:39,497
may I ask, did you buy in bulk?
305
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:42,102
Hey, come here, just for a second.
306
00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:43,806
There's another service starting
307
00:11:43,807 --> 00:11:45,275
and look at the size of the gravestone.
308
00:11:45,276 --> 00:11:47,247
You just know they spoiled their dog.
309
00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:50,520
Please donate before 5:00 PM. Thank you.
310
00:11:50,521 --> 00:11:52,023
Watch out.
311
00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:58,035
Oh... God.
312
00:11:59,471 --> 00:12:00,840
Another great ep.
313
00:12:00,841 --> 00:12:02,276
Though I don't know how
they can legally call
314
00:12:02,277 --> 00:12:05,015
any of those things
bathing suits, but...
315
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,152
Well, it's good that you have this show.
316
00:12:07,153 --> 00:12:08,321
Yeah.
317
00:12:08,322 --> 00:12:09,958
Wait, what do you mean?
318
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:12,030
Nothing. It fills a void
for you, it's good.
319
00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:15,971
Okay, well, you don't actually
know that much about me, so.
320
00:12:15,972 --> 00:12:17,641
Well, I was a detective for 30 years.
321
00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:19,010
I can draw a few conclusions.
322
00:12:19,011 --> 00:12:20,379
- Please don't.
- You have a...
323
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:22,082
small bald spot
324
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:24,086
in an irregular location on your scalp.
325
00:12:24,087 --> 00:12:25,824
- No.
- You're a worrier.
326
00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:27,628
And you're a workaholic.
327
00:12:27,629 --> 00:12:29,230
And clearly you're not married,
328
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:32,070
based on that withering ring finger.
329
00:12:32,604 --> 00:12:34,139
Excuse me. Um...
330
00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:36,344
I am actually very happy with my life,
331
00:12:36,345 --> 00:12:39,383
and I am not in a rush
for any of that stuff.
332
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,989
Well, part of the issue
is how you dress.
333
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:43,526
What's with the blazer?
334
00:12:43,527 --> 00:12:45,229
You win the Masters?
335
00:12:48,069 --> 00:12:50,372
The homeowner said she's been
hearing a scuttling sound
336
00:12:50,373 --> 00:12:52,409
coming from up there
for the past two weeks,
337
00:12:52,410 --> 00:12:55,282
and she said it's less of a
shhk-shhk-shhk-shhk-shhk,
338
00:12:55,283 --> 00:12:57,452
and more of a tick-tick-tick-tick-kk-kk.
339
00:12:57,453 --> 00:13:00,459
Huh. Annoying and unhelpful
as usual, thanks.
340
00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:05,904
Hey, Emily. Putting you on speaker.
341
00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:08,208
Hi, Frank, yeah,
your father's a nightmare.
342
00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,911
So, his condition hasn't changed.
343
00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:11,146
Sounds like you 86'd him?
344
00:13:11,147 --> 00:13:13,552
Darn right, I put him
in the parking lot.
345
00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:14,554
Isn't it about to rain?
346
00:13:14,555 --> 00:13:16,223
Yes, so please come pick him up.
347
00:13:16,224 --> 00:13:19,264
I am gonna go journal. Bye.
348
00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:29,551
What?
349
00:13:29,552 --> 00:13:31,287
I'm sending a cab
to take you to my house.
350
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:34,460
I'm not getting into some
driverless robot car.
351
00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:37,533
No, I said a cab, probably
driven by another
352
00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:39,069
half-blind old man like you.
353
00:13:39,070 --> 00:13:42,009
- It's going to start raining.
- I do just fine in the rain.
354
00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:44,280
Ask the Viet Cong.
355
00:13:51,161 --> 00:13:53,031
Are you... are you all right?
356
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,402
Yeah. I'm fine. No! I'm not.
357
00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:56,939
He's probably gonna catch pneumonia,
358
00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:58,509
and then I'll be stuck
with him indefinitely.
359
00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:01,147
Slowly fusing to
the fabric in the couch.
360
00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:03,484
Me, explaining what happened
to the old host of Jeopardy!
361
00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:05,322
That's my life, forever!
362
00:14:07,562 --> 00:14:09,063
Ahh!
363
00:14:09,064 --> 00:14:10,634
- Ahh!
- Shred, quick!
364
00:14:11,468 --> 00:14:13,471
Hey, are you okay?
365
00:14:14,474 --> 00:14:16,444
All right, you're
scaring me a little bit.
366
00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:17,580
Vision's goin' blurry.
367
00:14:17,581 --> 00:14:19,617
Just gonna take a closer look
at the floor.
368
00:14:19,618 --> 00:14:21,221
Wait. Frank?
369
00:14:21,222 --> 00:14:23,992
Frank, I only know how to do
CPR on a dog.
370
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,563
I need you to get up. Ahh!
371
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:26,733
Ahh! Ahh...
372
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,003
Haven't you done enough?
373
00:14:34,447 --> 00:14:36,117
OMG, look who's here!
374
00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:38,354
You remember Patel.
375
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,281
Victoria. Emily.
376
00:14:40,282 --> 00:14:41,427
Dude, I didn't hit my head.
377
00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:42,630
We came as soon as we heard.
378
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,630
Well, as soon as we could
make out what Shred was saying
379
00:14:44,631 --> 00:14:45,795
in between sobs.
380
00:14:45,796 --> 00:14:48,041
Okay guys, I'm fine.
381
00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:49,143
Unless I'm not, of course.
382
00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:50,278
Well, we're here for you, buddy.
383
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:51,314
You got a plan for this sherbet?
384
00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:53,418
Oh, and don't worry, Frank.
Your dad is okay.
385
00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:55,089
- I didn't ask.
- He's down in the car.
386
00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:56,759
And can I just say,
I am surprised this is
387
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,161
your first heart episode,
388
00:14:58,162 --> 00:15:00,165
Mr. Shaw! Good news.
389
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,735
Your EKG results are normal.
390
00:15:01,736 --> 00:15:03,005
- Yes!
- Yes! I knew it.
391
00:15:03,006 --> 00:15:05,008
My heart is awesome. Yours all suck.
392
00:15:05,009 --> 00:15:07,012
Yeah, it seems this incident
was simply caused by
393
00:15:07,013 --> 00:15:08,414
excessive flatulence.
394
00:15:08,415 --> 00:15:09,518
Oh.
395
00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:11,788
Thank you, doctor, for waiting until
396
00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:14,794
all my co-workers were present
to give me that diagnosis.
397
00:15:14,795 --> 00:15:17,734
Could we get that report in
writing? We'd love to frame it.
398
00:15:17,735 --> 00:15:19,871
Have you had any
sugar-free foods recently?
399
00:15:19,872 --> 00:15:23,478
Yes. My man was mainlining
sugar-free gummy worms all day.
400
00:15:23,479 --> 00:15:25,517
Well, that would do it.
We found high amounts of
401
00:15:25,518 --> 00:15:27,486
sorbitol in your blood,
which can contribute
402
00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:30,092
to chest pain and high levels of gas.
403
00:15:30,093 --> 00:15:33,331
Yeah, I was here when
the nurse released it, and, uh,
404
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,168
I will never forget what I heard.
405
00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:38,241
Stop, stop. Listen,
I don't usually eat this way.
406
00:15:38,242 --> 00:15:40,646
I track all my macros
across three different apps.
407
00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:41,648
I'm just...
408
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,318
wound a little tight today.
409
00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:45,054
Well, today was a false alarm.
410
00:15:45,055 --> 00:15:47,126
But with your family history
of heart disease,
411
00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:49,532
it's important that
you manage your stress.
412
00:15:51,101 --> 00:15:54,373
You know, I still have
a lot to process, so...
413
00:15:54,374 --> 00:15:56,846
I'm gonna have to ask
all of you to leave the room.
414
00:15:56,847 --> 00:15:58,447
- Absolutely.
- Of course.
415
00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:00,452
- Immediately.
- Yeah.
416
00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:02,523
No, we gotta go. We gotta go right now.
417
00:16:02,524 --> 00:16:04,160
- We gotta go right now!
- Go-go-go-go!
418
00:16:04,161 --> 00:16:05,162
Yes!
419
00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,132
Okay, I just got a message
from that family
420
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,468
who buried their poodle.
421
00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:11,509
Two bags of food and
a gently used dog bed.
422
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:14,113
At this rate,
I'm gonna need a second shed.
423
00:16:14,114 --> 00:16:16,250
Hey, guys, I just got
a pretty weird call.
424
00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:19,858
A man said that you were
soliciting him during his cat's funeral?
425
00:16:19,859 --> 00:16:21,242
- Mmhmm.
- No, we didn't mean to interrupt
426
00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:23,498
the service, it was just a super
long moment of silence.
427
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:25,335
- What?
- Actually, we brought them closure.
428
00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:28,341
And scored a bunch of
free stuff. Up top.
429
00:16:28,342 --> 00:16:31,849
Look, your job is very hard,
but it has turned you into,
430
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:33,151
and I say this with love,
431
00:16:33,152 --> 00:16:34,419
soulless monsters.
432
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,591
Uh... soulless monsters with
a kennel full of new dog food.
433
00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:38,762
- Take a look at that kennel.
- Have you been out there?
434
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:40,198
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
435
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:42,570
Okay. Um, look. I'm a cool boss, I am.
436
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:44,440
Everyone knows it,
everyone's talking about it,
437
00:16:44,441 --> 00:16:46,277
and I know that you guys
use gallows humor
438
00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:48,281
to get through the day,
but this has gone too far.
439
00:16:48,282 --> 00:16:50,352
I really think you need
to talk to somebody about it.
440
00:16:50,353 --> 00:16:51,621
You mean like an open mic?
441
00:16:51,622 --> 00:16:53,357
'Cause I've been working
on this joke about
442
00:16:53,358 --> 00:16:54,493
the headless rabbits we found.
443
00:16:54,494 --> 00:16:56,297
You've heard of a hairless head,
444
00:16:56,298 --> 00:16:57,800
- but have you heard of a...
- Okay.
445
00:16:57,801 --> 00:16:59,069
Don't wanna hear the end of that.
446
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:01,675
Um, no, I meant that there's
a more healthy way to process
447
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:03,478
the sad things that you see on the job
448
00:17:03,479 --> 00:17:05,282
than making jokes. Like therapy.
449
00:17:05,283 --> 00:17:06,919
- We don't need that.
- What?
450
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,531
- We don't need that.
- It's not good to bottle stuff up.
451
00:17:09,532 --> 00:17:10,612
Look at Frank.
452
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,637
And how should we be, what, like you?
453
00:17:12,638 --> 00:17:15,268
Yeah. Yelling at old guys,
leaving them out in a monsoon.
454
00:17:15,269 --> 00:17:17,239
Okay, fine. Be miserable.
I don't really care.
455
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,843
Just don't let it affect
your jobs anymore.
456
00:17:18,844 --> 00:17:20,478
- Mm-kay.
- That's a good plan.
457
00:17:20,479 --> 00:17:21,479
Nice.
458
00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:28,629
I've heard of undressing
people with your eyes,
459
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,733
but hugging people with your eyes?
460
00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:31,769
It's disturbing.
461
00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:33,705
You really scared me today.
462
00:17:33,706 --> 00:17:34,774
Everything scares you.
463
00:17:34,775 --> 00:17:36,545
I can't say Bloody Mary
three times without you...
464
00:17:36,546 --> 00:17:37,667
Don't.
465
00:17:37,668 --> 00:17:39,216
It's twice this year. Don't do it.
466
00:17:39,217 --> 00:17:40,620
And I'm serious, man. Okay?
467
00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:42,590
Your dad turns you
into a stress machine,
468
00:17:42,591 --> 00:17:44,761
and that's only gonna
get worse as he gets older.
469
00:17:44,762 --> 00:17:46,497
So, I've brought somebody here
470
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:49,571
that knows a thing or two about that.
471
00:17:58,488 --> 00:18:00,894
I'll give you two a second alone.
472
00:18:01,395 --> 00:18:05,469
Someday they'll track a disease
spreading to this very moment.
473
00:18:10,948 --> 00:18:12,517
That is really cute.
474
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,786
Adorable.
475
00:18:13,787 --> 00:18:15,255
See? We feel stuff.
476
00:18:15,256 --> 00:18:16,559
Yeah, we're not monsters.
477
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,028
We just don't dwell on the negatives.
478
00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:19,197
- Right. Yeah.
- If we were,
479
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,367
we would look at that puppy
over there and we might...
480
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,437
remember some things.
481
00:18:23,438 --> 00:18:24,438
Yeah.
482
00:18:24,909 --> 00:18:26,678
Like what happened on Route 12.
483
00:18:26,679 --> 00:18:28,247
Route 12. I don't...
484
00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:29,618
I don't think I remember that one.
485
00:18:29,619 --> 00:18:31,420
Route 12 was the labradoodle puppy.
486
00:18:31,421 --> 00:18:32,857
No, I know. Of course I remember.
487
00:18:32,858 --> 00:18:34,662
I'm just pushing it down.
488
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:39,437
What was his name?
489
00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:41,975
Splat.
490
00:18:41,976 --> 00:18:44,312
No. Seriously, I wanna remember.
491
00:18:44,313 --> 00:18:45,650
It wasn't Splat, it was Burrito.
492
00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:48,656
Burrito, that's right.
I knew it was something pretty.
493
00:18:48,657 --> 00:18:50,391
Stop, I can feel you getting upset.
494
00:18:50,392 --> 00:18:52,864
I don't wanna get upset,
so just stop crying.
495
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,344
I'm not up...
496
00:18:54,345 --> 00:18:55,468
Stop.
497
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,540
You remember the kittens in the well?
498
00:18:57,541 --> 00:18:59,511
Alastair, Pepper, Buttons and Crosby.
499
00:18:59,512 --> 00:19:01,648
- I think about them every night.
- I think of them every night.
500
00:19:01,649 --> 00:19:03,552
And I don't wanna
think about them anymore.
501
00:19:03,553 --> 00:19:05,923
I don't... I'm so sick
of thinking of them.
502
00:19:05,924 --> 00:19:07,961
You guys are scaring that child.
What's going on?
503
00:19:07,962 --> 00:19:09,163
You opened the floodgates.
504
00:19:09,164 --> 00:19:10,867
- Everything's gonna die.
- Everything is.
505
00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:13,037
Okay. All right, I'm pulling
you both from the field.
506
00:19:13,038 --> 00:19:14,874
- Let's go.
- Cherish this time.
507
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:17,514
Because before you know it,
that dog's gonna be gone.
508
00:19:17,515 --> 00:19:18,716
- And your parents.
- No-no-no-no-no.
509
00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:20,452
- Everything.
- Oh, he's gonna be there.
510
00:19:20,453 --> 00:19:22,021
He's gonna be there. Therapy now.
511
00:19:23,259 --> 00:19:25,462
I don't know, Bucky.
512
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:29,470
Doesn't he realize that you're
supposed to mellow out with age?
513
00:19:29,471 --> 00:19:31,808
And somehow, I think
he's getting even worse.
514
00:19:31,809 --> 00:19:34,379
And because my family sucks,
I'm gonna be the one
515
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:37,352
that has to take care of him,
and I just don't...
516
00:19:37,353 --> 00:19:38,857
know if I can do that.
517
00:19:39,357 --> 00:19:42,798
I mean, who's gonna take care
of me when I get old?
518
00:19:44,301 --> 00:19:46,971
'Cause I'm all alone.
519
00:19:46,972 --> 00:19:48,442
And...
520
00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:52,450
I don't know if that's ever
gonna change.
521
00:19:54,087 --> 00:19:57,527
You are surprisingly helpful to talk to.
522
00:19:58,897 --> 00:20:00,466
Hey, Dad.
523
00:20:02,804 --> 00:20:04,473
I, uh...
524
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:06,812
can't believe I'm gonna
say this, but, uh...
525
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,316
I'd like to talk to you.
526
00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:14,092
We need to try and find
a way to make this work.
527
00:20:14,093 --> 00:20:16,063
We need to yell less!
528
00:20:16,064 --> 00:20:18,101
Or maybe even...
529
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:20,507
listen to each other.
530
00:20:22,477 --> 00:20:24,680
Look, I understand that
531
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:28,556
you've been through a lot
these past few days, so...
532
00:20:30,627 --> 00:20:31,862
Here.
533
00:20:34,535 --> 00:20:39,042
It's the wrong sweater, numbnuts
I said the blue one.
534
00:20:39,043 --> 00:20:40,746
- That is blue.
- The one I like!
535
00:20:40,747 --> 00:20:43,520
Not the cheap one
you gave me for Christmas.
536
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,957
Color-blind and stupid.
537
00:20:51,602 --> 00:20:53,839
You can't leave him here!
I won the race!
538
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,743
I have no honor.
539
00:21:00,753 --> 00:21:03,859
My wife vetoed all my baby names.
540
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:05,529
Huckleberry Patel.
541
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,766
Would've been a major league pitcher.
542
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,137
So, what have I gotta say
to get you to prescribe me
543
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:11,407
the good stuff?
544
00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:13,144
I think I led us down a weird path.
545
00:21:13,145 --> 00:21:14,815
I'm not actually gonna kill anyone.
546
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,419
You know, I was just asking
if you would have to report it,
547
00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:19,023
out of curiosity.
548
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:22,395
And you do have to report it,
which is good.
549
00:21:22,396 --> 00:21:23,799
And why I asked.
550
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,836
I understand that giving
a patient a letter grade
551
00:21:25,837 --> 00:21:28,542
completely misses the point
of therapy, but if you were
552
00:21:28,543 --> 00:21:31,882
to give me a score out of 100
on how good I'm doing...
553
00:21:31,883 --> 00:21:33,853
Here's a couple of areas
I don't want to unravel.
554
00:21:33,854 --> 00:21:36,457
Love life, family, fear of mortality.
555
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:38,640
Oh, nothing about body or food.
Let's do it.
556
00:21:38,641 --> 00:21:42,047
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
41278
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.