Original subtitles

The Bennet's nearly here, sir.

I've been poisoned!

You've been on a three-day drunk, sir.

I did warn you.

You did nothing of the salt, my innards of pastry and a bowl of peasant soup,

raw eel, a half loaf of pumper nickel, and a glass of owl yolk with vinegar,

and a splash of whiskey.

Sir George Chauncey Savage was an insolent Welsh upstart, a low-bred ruffian and

opportunist.

Oh yeah.

Who through unsavory efforts, shameless swindles and social climbing, managed to

coax and court a well-born wife, Lady Savage, of the Yorkshire savages,

only to squander what little was left of her family estate on garish clothing,

boosing, Hors and of course his poison of choice gambling those he agreed to take

the savage name in order to marry up and purchase his title of Sir with the

ill-advised sale of several paintings and parcels of land but despite appearances he

was nothing more than the son of a penniless peddler.

An outsider among the ruling class, Chauncey never felt as if he was good

enough for her, or them, and most would agree.

I simply loathe the bennett's snobbish paralytic balls.

Do you see the way he looks at me, without probing sneer and his poorish wife

shows all the charm of the septic cyst.

I heard a particularly vile story from a footman the other day involving Mr.

Bennett and a syphalytic hall.

Oh, pray tell.

Born in the slums of St. Giles, Chaunce's Vallet was a low-bred ruffian

and opportunist in his own right.

See where you are!

If you'll enter your pockets, and kindly deliver your valuables, there's a newly

implemented tax on nobles in the area.

Thank you, calling.

To maintain his life of life of life of life pleasure and quell his mounting

deaths.

Chauncey was quick to include his loyal footman on trips to brothels, gambling

halls, and wherever he thought it beneficial.

Hi!

Gauncey had various things, even brigands.

A rake in the make.

Come on, slow down I'm where he healed.

He healed.

He had various tricks and deceptions on how best to achieve his desired outcome.

He would masterfully palm and replace his dice with an altered pair that he had

meticulously melted.

Double, bubble, toil and trouble.

Passions burn, the bats are double.

So that they almost always landed on sixes.

demand satisfaction.

How dare you?

Reginald was often tasked with settling Chaunce's various financial squabbles and

disagreements by dual of sword or pistol.

Fire!

As well as assist in evading the increasingly frequent visits of his vexed

collectors.

Where is he?

I'm afraid to Chaunce he is away on business in Hamburg.

Last month it was Paris, the month before that, the West Indies.

Don't meddle with me, boy.

I've heard rumor my parcel has been sold, twice, possibly thrice.

Chauncey had been slowly siphoning off parcels of their peerage, a rather

reckless and intricate scheme of over leveraging and double dealing.

If the matter isn't sorted appropriately, and with haste, I shall be forced to call

upon the authorities.

I'll pass it up in the message.

speak to me at social gatherings or at meals.

Oh, I'm sure it's just a rat batch, sir.

No, she hasn't touched me in months.

You're an acquired taste, sir.

What should I do about our Mr Black?

He did seem a little perturbed earlier.

Oh, yes, parcel 11.

A glorious swathe of birch and pine.

Not to worry, not to let some greedy banker seize our home and sully our name.

Is that blood?

Uh, pheism, sir.

Oh, delicious, my favorite.

I know, sir.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

Your loyalty and valley, your skill of shot.

Well, you are many things, sir, but a good shot is not one of them.

Oh, it's not my fault.

Spectacles make me look bookish and fat.

I don't tell you enough, but I care for you like a sum, like a sum or...

An affectionate dog.

Lady Savage had come from a disgraced family of nobility.

Though she still carried a distinguished title and the bluest of blood,

the savages of Yorkshire had fallen on hard times, and were merely a name at this

point.

This financial standing was not helped by her marriage to Chauncy, but the heart is

a mercurial muscle.

She fell under his spell quite quickly.

And against all opposition and criticism married him in a fortnight.

She had never met anyone quite like, Chauncy.

But of course, good times have a price.

Oh, Chauncy!

Their reckless spending and misadventures had left them on the precipice of peril.

As Gossips would say, they deserved each other.

I've never met a more lifeless pair than the Bennets.

Tireous and teac some teacups they are.

are porcelain, painted and empty from ear to ear.

Now why must you always invite them over?

Oh, beggars can't be choosers.

If one doesn't have dinner guests, or be it dim and dull, then one could

wonder if they ever ate at all.

But we are here, ma'am.

I know it's true, but you're a servant, you're always here.

And a paid guest, however, however dear doesn't count.

You speak to Ashley of yourself, ma'am.

You're the only one who understands me, Dorothy.

Are you sure that this isn't too much?

Not at all, ma'am, I think it shows great restraint.

Oh, shit, not again.

Oh, get that ribbon from over there.

That'll do.

For the

first time in 500 years a total solar eclipse is approaching London in less than

a fortnight.

Such an eclipse occurs when a new moon drifts between the Sun and Earth.

Like a lid, smothering the Sun Black and casting its shadow over the Earth's

surface, Haley's eclipse is the first of its kind, predicted on Newtonian theory

and thus a detailed mop of its path is illustrated glow.

How's my little troublemaker and her mischief of mice?

Papa, promise you'll come play after the Bennet.

Well, only if Wally promises not to bite this time.

Oh, I can't promise that.

No foot-in, of course.

No, it's not.

I hope the pheasant isn't as vomit as it won't last time.

Good as I was on the pot for bears.

Yes, skutting.

Mr. Mrs. Bennett, how lovely to see right this way.

We were you invited to the ball at Cumberland Carso, it sounds splendid.

We were not.

All that interminable dinner for the new Earl of Gloucester.

Sadly not, no.

I'm sure it was a servant's error.

Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

Lord Malle told me the most extraordinary tale this morning.

something called an eclipse.

Apparently, there's rumoured from reliable sources.

Evil spirits will pour out like an open spigot from the sky.

The devil's doing for this wretched king.

Reliable sources, you say?

Oh, it's true.

Yes, evil is afoot.

First a German monarch, then the pox.

And now there's a hole in the sky, whatever's next.

sulling the streets with violence and mayhem, like snobbish children whose toys

have been taken.

I'm sorry, but they're nothing but seditious imbeciles, masquerading as

revolutionaries.

You can't be serious.

I've been accused of many things, Mr. B, but seriousness isn't one of them.

A Hanover, here is an affront for any self-respecting Englishman.

The dismantling of the Tories, the Whigs, cloak and dagger, a scent,

it's disgraceful.

A vile coup.

This is our land, our crown, our birthright.

Yes.

And I'm not about to let some filthy Germans snatch it away from us.

He's right.

If we're not careful, we'll be eating sheets of for breakfast, good and nug.

Gooden puppycock?

George Augustus.

Oh, but... I don't trust an Augustus.

No, no.

But James Edward Stuart.

There you are.

That's a king's name.

Mm.

And this Johann back fellow sounds suspicious too.

Everyone we've spoken to considers the accession illegitum.

Seriously, hungry.

Are you're really why that some wilyig is going to come and seize your land while

you're on the pot?

Sir, do you mock me by no means?

Simply a disagreement between dearest friends, exchanging thoughts and ideas on

politics of the bay.

You, sir, have an astute agile mind on such matters.

I'm not much of political animal, or of a peacock.

Who wants cake?

Only two servants, it's barbaric.

Did you see this soul they're gone gone against death, obviously..

Oh, no.

Oh shit.

From the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire, urgent.

Sir.

Sir?

That's all that telescope.

How much of that cost?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Sir.

D.

It's a request from the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire.

They're to begin their yearly Yorkshire tour.

And one of their hosts, Lord Vermon, has apparently succumbed to a grisly bat

of the pox.

What?

What, what, what, what is it?

They need a place to dine and sleep in ten days time, and are curious if we can.

No.

No.

No.

Yes!

Is this a prank of spiteful jets?

I assure you, it's quite real.

Look at the penmanship, it's remarkable.

Do you think it awaited himself?

We have neither the means nor the staff to accommodate such a request.

I'm sorry, but I will not be humiliated.

Wouldn't rejecting such a request be equally humiliating, if not more?

We could lie.

We could respond with lurid accounts of sickness ourselves.

break and uprising, we are the beneficiaries of marital circumstance.

Chauncy, please.

In Canada, we would probably fifth or sixth on list, but that's neither here nor

there.

Don't you see, we were chosen?

This is our chance to restore your family name, to put us back on top, to rewrite

history without anyone being the wiser, save for a few nosy neighbors and debt

collectors.

You are the company you keep.

We're at dinner, the invitations to balls and guards and vast, raw, cool.

Fill the jeweling wits and platters of pineapple.

Maybe, maybe an holiday in old Paris with a duke and duchessy.

Oh, my lady savage, you look particularly ravish.

Wow.

Thank you, your grace.

This is madness.

The birth is brutal and without distinction.

You've had to claw and scratch your way every inch to pull yourself out of the

muck.

And look where you are now.

Lord of a bloody man!

A duke and duchess to die at my table.

You're an inspiration to lawful rufflings everywhere.

After we ran the duke, our best collectors will be forced to forgive their loans.

We're asked for interest.

You'll worry too much.

You'll give yourself irritable bowels.

Nothing set in stone, my love.

If we do accept, think of it as an investment in our future.

Imagine one day you're going to marry well and save us all from ruin.

You speak of me as if I were property to be sold to the highest bidder.

Tragic as it might seem you are.

Fertile land to be nurtured, gardened, on occasion, on occasion, drunk and on the

night without adequate satisfaction.

But Mama, you married Papa for love, he was nothing more than a charming rogue.

Yes, and look without foolishness has left us.

Oh, you're a fantasist, my love, just like your father, lost in the stars.

Now, get some wrist.

Say good night, advice?

No, I'll do no such thing.

Please.

You're a disturbed child.

But I love you..

Miss Neville, I'm curious to see you in the cellar.

Oh, I must be lost, milad.

If you're not too busy, perhaps you could help me butter my biscuit with a little

clotted cream and Guzbury germ.

I, of course, milad.

You're a gifted swordsman, Mr Halifax.

It's all in the wrist, my leadership.

For what it's worth, I implore you to accept the Duke's request and to reply

with haste.

This is your chance to rebuild Savage House and finally return your name to his

rightful place.

You deserve to shine, my love.

to be the golden beacon you were born to be before the men in your life sullied and

squandered your good fortune.

Hold me.

Don't touch me.

In the sweet-smelling sheets of her young lover, Lady Savage finally agreed to host

the Duke and Duchess for dinner, a responsibility she did not take lightly.

And so, our March of Folly begins.

And so, our march of folly begins.

Knowing my husband is prone to indulgence, I've taken it upon myself to guide the

process of restoring our home to its former glory in ten days time.

Now I've made a detailed list of all expected duties to eradicate any confusion

or negligence.

Mr. Halifax, you are to handle all man your labour, including, but not explain,

you are to handle all man your labour, including but not.

to gardening, carpentry, and general restoration.

Miss Neville, in addition to your usual cleaning duties, you are to work with Mr

Walcott and conceiving and procuring the necessary items for our menu, as well as

notifying the finest tradesmen in their various fields.

Art dealer, dual merchant, dressmaker, et al.

This is a Duke's dinner, ladies and gentlemen.

It's a great honor, no expense shall be spared.

I've been thinking about dinner guess we should invite Lord Cumberland and Erwin

said and to add a little culture perhaps that witty Dublin Dean Swift at a short

notice during an outbreak it'll be tough we can try what it's not my fault I'm a

nervous eater you know that

Stop coursing around, darling.

No need to cry about it.

What?

Perhaps after you finished this level, you can unearth my mother's china from

whatever dusty cabinet you've hidden it in.

Can't seem to find it anywhere.

Yes, ma'am.

The pretrial's unimaginable.

I don't know what to do without you.

Oh, oh.

I was thinking of possibly selling off another parcel to bank roll the necessary

additions for the dinner.

You've already sold or loaned against every parcel, sir, some twice.

Need I remind you of my Mr. Black?

Yes, yes, of course.

Passal 11.

I was merely amusing.

No self-respecting gentleman knows his back balance.

will end up in fleet or worse bedlam.

Never mind the particulars.

Well think of something.

What a fine collection your ladyship.

Your family's impeccable taste is well known and without exception.

This item in particular is of great interest.

No I'm afraid I can't Mr Brimsby.

My aunt else gave me that.

But darling you never wear it.

Only the pearls and the garnets, I won't sell my jewels.

And so Lady Savage sadly sold her mother's pearls, her aunt's earrings, and a slew of

Venetian trinkets to Mr Brimsby for a rather large pouch of coin.

There was a great deal left to acquire for the Duke's dinner, and now they had the

requisite means.

First and foremost, with three notable paintings missing in the parlour room,

was prudent to purchase lesser works of equal size to replace them.

The large empty squares marked by dust and sun damage were a garish sight to any

learned eye, particularly a duke and duchess.

This comes from Giachemo Adolphi, an incredible talent, and a disciple of

Caravaggio.

His work isn't as known, but he is held in the highest regard in the essential

circles.

Yes, I see now, quite magnificent.

Brilliant.

What may I ask is the price?

You have impeccable taste, Sir Chauncy, I'm sure we can come to a fair and

equitable understanding.

Of course, not understanding the finer things.

Chauncey painfully overpaid the nobleman, Lord Wilbury.

This is the latest fashion, it's Italian silk dress with a ball and paw foot.

This fabric was woven by blind nuns in Holland.

They're lovely, tiny fingers.

These feet look like gold, they aren't actually, and these are our chairs.

Yes, Duke.

No, of course, Duke.

Did you hear Duke?

You know?

Chauncy and Lady Savage had agreed not to tell anyone of their illustrious dinner

guests, but quickly abandoned such secrecy, and proceeded to inform everyone

that passed through their home or would listen.

Of course they did so with great discretion.

And pigs can fly.

Oh no, it's true.

Then you must have these.

For a duchess, the curtains must always match the sheets.

Duchus!

Your charit awaits.

Stop.

What's the occasion, your ladyship?

Don't tell us all, but the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire are coming for

dinner.

Oh, you must have this then.

Lady Lennox wore it the cumblant ball, if all the royal court is wearing it.

Oh, it's stunning.

You're too modest.

With a figure like yours, your ladyship, it'll be perfection.

I'll tuck it here, here and here.

Trust, you see.

Do I have to wear this?

Yes, you do.

Darling, you're like a beautifully wrapped candy that once bitten is laced with lion

and rock.

And you dearest husband are like a provenance rose, a charming and colourful

creature that on closer inspection is actually quite brawny and grown and

manure.

I'll pay the rest next month I promise.

Sir, a Duke's dinner could be in valuable for business, especially doing such a

wretched outbreak.

Hmm?

They'll be ready before the dinner.

With mischievous glee, the two continued to dig themselves into debt.

For ambition, like any sweet elixir, can be a blinding thing.

They even commissioned a family portrait to colour them in a more lavish light than

their circumstance suggested.

For perception is everything, especially among the ruling class.

Why are you holding a pheasant, Papa?

We don't hunt.

Nobody wants to see reality, Man, I want fantasy.

I know you think you are not moving but you are.

Pardon the costumes.

I know this may sound rather peculiar, but you are to impersonate the Duke and

Duchess so we may rehearse the fashionable dancers of the day whilst dearest Fanny

can practice our harps accord.

If anyone you'll be playing the Duke and Duchess in this game it should be us.

Then they be you and I do as well as that's not particularly helpful.

What about the eclipse?

What about it?

Or perhaps those wretched mice of yours would like a little arsenic with their

breakfast.

Or perhaps I should shave them and make myself a fashionable pair of eyebrows.

You wouldn't.

I most certainly would.

Now this is the Duke and Duchess.

You must be at our very best.

Duke, may I have this dance?

Of course, your leadership, if I may say you are a vision this evening.

You may not, Mr Halifax.

Why, thank you your Grace.

Gotchus.

Fanny.

How's it go on with all the ownership?

We're nearly there, my love.

We are nearly there.

I promise, and the moment I'm sure of our affections, Chauncey will be played by

tragedy.

Perhaps the poisoning of a tea cake or wine.

Or a hunting accident, or foul it.

Oh, drunk at least something from his window sale.

I will ascend the lord of the manor and shower you with the riches you so richly

deserve.

He's a sad old man and shower you with the riches you so richly deserve.

He's a sad old man.

And uncharitable lover, but he's not without his charms.

While we're in the murderous spirit, why are not?

kill off a ladyship as well.

They're drowning at daybreak or an errand slip on the soapy floor.

But no, it's too suspicious.

They're both dying of a natural curious causes.

Not to mention little Fanny.

Who cares about that?

Snivel in little snob.

Those mice eat better than I do.

We have to think of the long game here.

Yeah, how may I help you?

A hire, man.

Lower, and a little to the left.

Who the hell?

Mr. and Mrs. Bennett, to what do we owe the honour?

We were just taking our morning stroll and thought we'd stop by.

Are these savages in by chance?

Of course.

We don't mean to impose, but we...

We don't mean to impose, but we...

We don't mean to impose, follow by the word but.

You most certainly mean it.

We'd apologize, Mr. Bennett simply continue your imposition position.

No, no, no, no.

It's not like that at all.

Will we just strolling?

You see, we really don't mean to impose, but...

We did hear that the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire were coming for dinner.

It's true.

Oh, how magnificent, truly.

Oh, well, the gossip.

We heard, Lord Vernon's illness had taken a terrible term for the worst.

One man's tragedy is another's treasure.

Indeed.

Is that a caravaggio?

A gentleman never boasts.

You two look simply glowing, in that dress, your hair, your complexion.

I mean, it's remarkable.

Oh, you're too kind.

Would it be too much to inquire our standpoint?

Would it be too much to inquire our standing?

To that I mean our invitation.

Oh, dearest friends.

I'm afraid that every seat has spoken for.

Rest assured that if anyone should drop out, you are firmly in consideration.

Of course, of course.

Gosh, all the time, if you excuse us, we have a great deal to prepare.

We're very busy.

If anything, you should change.

Oh, well, you're right, my love.

It's fine, it's nothing.

It's nothing.

No, let me get a doctor to take a look at it.

Don't be so dramatic.

I've more enough, why in to quell the pain.

Now, show me the bloody fire options again..

Don't you raise your voice with me.

You're acting like a petrant child.

I'm sorry, darling.

I'd simply like to see the flower options again, if there's not too much to ask.

You wouldn't know the difference between peonies and bloody daffodils, but very

well.

I have a keen eye and a sharp nose, I'll have you know.

Don't forget a limp leg.

You're a relentless.

Thank you.

You're quite finished.

You're quite finished.

Good, because we need two more footmen for tomorrow's rehearsal, one for either side

of the table.

I'm supposed to find two footmen in the middle of nowhere.

I don't care if it would dress up a donkey and a bloody jack-a-bike, just do it.

We've got auditions this afternoon and they cannot be rescheduled.

You're a glimpse!

Dorothy!

What the hell are you doing big toe?

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

Oh!

Oh!

Gather

round everybody!

Shake him!

Well done!

two fine men for an assignment in the main house.

It would be more than fairly compensated for your time.

Chauncey had sympathy for his workers' plight, for he was once one of them.

They were an unfortunate and painful reminder of his humble beginnings.

Though he would never admit it, this was the reason Chauncey rarely,

if ever, visited the stables.

Now, who here has all their limbs, including their fingers?

Hands up.

Ah, you and you!

Excellent.

You will come this way.

Chauncy even paid them a handsome stipend from his dwindling pouch, far more than

was warranted, and expressly against her ladyship's wishes.

Don't tell her ladyship.

This is our little secret.

Yes, sir.

name.

James, sir, James Darby.

Oh, strong name.

Very English.

Yours?

Leslie.

Not as strong.

Little feminine.

Now, I'm going to call you Horace.

It's a strong name.

My father was a Horace.

Come along, come along.

I leave you fine men, and the care of my valet.

Mr. Halifax....

Perfume their limbs, clean them up, show them the basics.

Chop, chop.

This is the only warning you're going to get, so heed it well.

Do not take advantage of Sir Chauncey's charity.

He may be a kind of magnanimous man, but I assure you, I am not.

To even ponder, pinching a pastry would be to meet an untimely end.

Am I understood?

Not bad at all.

Well done, well, Fine work.

Thank you, sir.

How does it feel to be a footman, to be out of the muck?

Like a new man, sir.

Thank you.

Brilliant.

Yes, mining?

But brilliant.

Well done, well done.

Well done.

Well done.

Well done.

Well, do you think of our performers?

All the world's a stage.

I could do this where I've tread the boards and play the bard.

And all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and entrances.

And one man in his time plays many parts.

Oh, yeah.

Bravo!

Jesus!

Oh, oh, put me all brack up at!!

you behave yourself, I have you severed and phantom of ice.

Oh, fucker!

Oh!

Oh, fuck!

Tuck!

Tuck!

Titeer!

Oh, how!

Be careful!

Sorry, ma'am.

The

rehearsal dinner is nearly ready, sir.

The rehearsal dinner is nearly ready, sir.

Darling, we're going to have to get the carpenter to raise the ceilings if your

wigs get any larger.

I can hear the complaints of vexed theatre girls already.

Well it's not that bad.

It's a mountainous rodent.

Oh, Duke, what do you think of my gown?

Is it too much?

Oh, your grace, you're too kind.

What did he say?

The woman never tells.

You're both mad as a hatter?

Oh, this looks divine.

Oh.

Oh.

I'd

like to thank you all for your generous attendance and decorous gifts.

We are humbled and honored to host the Duke and Duchess to host the Duke and

Duchess on such a glorious evening.

I'm honored to host the Duke and Duchess on such a glorious evening.

I finished the rest later.

Chinchin and Bonap a tea.

Mm-hmm.

What the hell is this?

Send it back!

It's a little undercooked, but it's not that bad.

Yes, foul.

Positively ranted, and certainly not fit for a bloody duke, we'll be sent to the

gallows.

Next course!

Yes.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm

so Frederick.

After a long day of endless eating and drink, Chauncey finally succumbed to his

considerable pain.

Oh, wow.

What is it?

Oh my two.

Get the doctor.

Oh, darling.

Yes, it appears you have a touch of the King's disease, as they say.

King's disease, it feels like the bloody thing is going to explode.

I assure you, it will not explode.

The Duke is coming in less than a week.

I cannot be hobbling about like some village idiot.

Take this, three times a day.

It's the very latest.

A peculiar though effective accommodation.

of laxities, licorice, and coriander.

Liquor?

If it worsens, let me know of bons, and I'll apply the necessary legions.

I must advise the strict avoidance of all red meat and drink until the swelling and

pain pass.

You have my word, Doctor, and not drink a droplet till the Duke's dinner.

I swear.

You can dutch us or any days away.

With five days till the Duke's dinner, as was custom, they sent their luggage

ahead with strict instructions on how best to prepare.

From the precise fold of a precious garment to the herbs with which to scent

their pillow.

Through to the back.

Through to the back!

Salmon!

Why Mr Black?

So what do we owe the honor?

Enough tomfoolery boy, I see our traveller has returned.

I need a word of Mr. Savage, at once.

It's true he has, but I'm afraid he's fallen gravely ill, possibly the pox.

Last week it was Hamburg now it's the bloody pox, you're shameless.

This is Mr. Lawton, the gentleman to whom your employer, sold the same parcel of

land as he did to me.

Next time you see us, who should be accompanied by the authorities.

Good day!

Good day, sir.

With the Duke's arrival imminent, Lady Savage called upon Mr. Brimsby once

more.

Against her better judgment, she sold a slew of family heirlooms to help pay for

their mounting bills.

that she wouldn't.

wouldn't.

Studying specimen in your ladyship.

Truly.

Thank you, Mr Grimsky.

Mama, you're going to send us to the poorhouse if you keep this up.

Not now, Fanny.

I'm in no mood.

Hurry!

Hurry!

Hurry!

So much needs to be done, I...

Your Lord, please, remember what the doctor said?

I don't care what the doctor says.

I don't care what the doctor says.

What does he know?

Licko shall relax it ifs, I've been shipping a pan all night all night.

I need to check on preparations.

You are not going anywhere.

Her doctor's orders.

Oh!

Perhaps Mrs. Bennet was right.

Evil is afoot.

These Jacobites and Richard revolutionaries are staring up the

matters.

Cora and typhus preying upon the poor.

Now plaques creeping its way to the countryside and lurking in her doorstep.

What dimension I'm bloody too!

Just relax, my lord, everything's going to be all right.

You're a divine creature, a celestial being with sanguine, skin, and supple

size.

I must confess.

I want nothing more than to bear you a son.

The gift of leadership has never been able to give, to be your actual mistress.

Do you have any clotted cream, but Charles?

Hm-hmm.

Um, hypothetically speaking, could you ever envision me as an adequate

replacement, Pachrancy, if his gout would worsen or something unforeseen would

happen to him?

What a perfectly absurd idea, Mr. Halifax, you jest?

But if your insinuations were designs, I'd have to have you sent to him?

to the gallows.

Now resume licking my bum before I give it another thought.

Of course, my nation.

Oh, oh.

Oh!

Oh, it's probably just been dramatic.

It doesn't handle pain very well.

Is she any closer?

She's been dramatic.

He doesn't handle pain very well.

Is she any closer?

She's playing coy, but coming around.

You'll see?

by the time the Devons just Lee.

Leslie, didn't happen to hear anything, did you?

She didn't happen to hear anything, did you?

You weren't eavesdropping, were you?

Spying like a weasley nave?

Come here!

Little shit, come here!

Oh, well, we're Jeff three letters.

Every one of them.

Well, Dean Swift.

No.

Lord Cumberland?

No.

They're all very genteel, but their rejections, nonetheless.

It appears that no one wants to attend the dinner for fear of having to travel during

an outbreak.

We regret to inform you, we cordially have to...

It is with a heavy heart that I must decline your invitation.

snickering.

He wasn't noble enough, gentlemanly enough, smart enough.

No matter what he did or how much he spent, what paintings adorned his walls,

or clothes his person, Chauncey could never escape the simple fact he was born

with the wrong last name.

No, no no, no you want too far, come down.

Up on the left.

That's it, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going,

keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep no,

keep go, keep go, keep going.

No, no, no, no, no, and down a little.

Yes, yes, no stop.

What do you think?

In her husband's absence, Lady Savage had commanded the ship quite admirably.

Leaving no stone unturned, she had led her listless staff the way a great general

might stage a siege.

Mr. Derby, those reasons don't belong there, they live in the Parliament.

Or Dramatist, his opening night.

Mr. Walcott, darling, look that, it's wonderful.

Mm.

Mr Walcock, you've improved enormously.

That pair is tart and delicious.

We'll have this, this, this, and this.

And this.

Of course, Mom.

Of course, Mom.

Is that a sting?

Sorry, mom.

What if the Duke could see it?

In his fragile state, Chauncey could no longer see the beauty of their home,

only its warts.

He became transfixed by a miniscule crack on a distant wall.

The corner of a painting slightly askew, a sliver of dust on the mantle.

Nothing was right.

A sort of madness had begun to sink in that could not be hindered or halted.

Like an undercut soufflet, he was collapsing into himself.

Would you like some wine, sir?

No, no, he would not.

Would you, darling?

Darling.

What

happened to what's his name?

The toothless fellow.

I haven't seen him all day.

Leslie?

Yes, that's it.

Horace.

Where's Horace?

He must have disappeared.

Sir, please.

People don't just disappear.

Perhaps he quit or join the Jacobites.

Horse wouldn't do that, we had a connection.

Darling, can this wait?

He can't.

Have you seen him?

No, sir.

Well, where the hell is he?

I don't know, sir.

Maybe he fell over the pox, or ran off with a barmaid?

Well, find him, damn it.

count of it love then you will do me the kindness to stand bloody sill!

I'm sorry sir I I spoke out of turn I did not mean any offense I have been under a

great deal of stress and I am simply trying to illuminate familial forgery and

can't of it love.

You, Mr. Roos, have tacked, taste an artistic acumen of a blind infant,

painting with his own feces, you little shit.

I've never heard such abrasive brush strokes in my life.

May I remind you that it is you who works for me?

You've been paid handsomely for your And if I hear any more grumbling or grievance,

I shall have no choice but to carve up your hands with a hatchet.

Am I understood?

And you, dearest Reginald, mutinous dissident.

Are you trying to thwart and undermine this glorious dinner with your incessant

incompetence?

Not only can you not lead your staff?

Apparently you cannot find them.

And you, you're no better.

With your sympathetic ear, your generous bosom, your callous cuntic cream,

you're a chocolate-covered spider.

Angus Walker, the only man in England who can cook a cow that even I can eat!

Oh, well, you see this?

What did the Duke say?

This entire house is colored in a film of filth and poverty.

Our food is wretched, our flowers stale, our staff missing.

It has to be perfect.

I will not be marked.

Nothing is right.

Where's Horace?

Where's Horace!

Your father's dead, my darling and he has been for many years, just breathe.

What all the children do they give us?

I'm a monster's sight, look at us, a hushback in Yorkshire, in this house so

horrible.

No, no, be calm, my love, be calm.

Act up!

Ah!

Someone should sort out that crack.

I've been taking your medication following my strict instruction.

I've fallen gravely, ill doctor.

Can't you feel my fever?

You have no fever, sir.

Perhaps it's pocked, all the sweating sickness then, all this wretched benets

have poisoned me for my position.

I can assure you you have not been poisoned, sir.

It is merely gout.

You just need rest.

There's no time to rest.

The rest.

Such is a coming?

Search the Bennet's house at once!

I demand it!

Odys, and butchers!

This is negligence!

Wickedness!

Why don't we try a little lordman to ease the pain?

I'll stick your tongue out and say, ah!

Ah!

Now, I shall apply the leeches.

Yes, this one's a clever one.

A little.

It's ticklish.

Oh, he's ticklish.

Two.

Slimy.

Looch.

three..

Oh, uh, uh, uh, yes, this one's a clever one.

And my favorite for my best leech.

Now they will help, but you must follow my dietary instructions if you are to heal in

time for your dinner.

You have my word.

Yes.

I'm going to be here.

I'm getting late.

I'm getting late.

Oh, where am I?

Where am I here?

I'm going to be here.

This is my wake.

If somebody sees me.

I didn't see me.

I'm going to be here.

I'm going to be here.

I'm going to be here.

Oh,

did you always go?

Did you keep going?

Oh,

you can go.

I'm on there.

Oh, Anyone?

Anyone.

Anyone.

Original Loh?

Ritional?

No one, since Simon.

Amber, and

Rachel, how could you?

could you?

He?

He's... I'm...

he...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm......

I...

I'm... I'm...

might just go back to the anything to swear a moment ago and pretend this never

happened.

Your cock is inside my wife.

Yes.

Oh, is that my wake?

Ah, please sir, let's not do anything brash.

You've left me no choice of matter, I'm afraid.

I must.

He must and demand he's the same satisfaction!

Oh, fuck, really?

Chauncey found himself in a moral quandary of the most complex nature.

Double bubble, coiled trouble.

To defend his honor and adopted family name?

Or to possibly kill his best and, frankly, only friend.

I've never dued without redcholot.

Frankly, he usually defended my honor but know what to do.

Perhaps I should use the other footman as my second.

My love.

He doesn't even know how to load a proper pistol, let alone the rules of jeweling.

No, as much as it pains me, you'll be foolish to select anyone other than Mr.

Bennett.

But then we'd have to invite him to the dinner.

Was the lesser of evils given the circumstances?

Besides no one else is confirmed yet?

How's your foot, my love?

Why did you have to fornicate with him?

Why know?

Well, it's actually been going on for quite a while, but that's neither him or

there.

Why did you have to demand satisfaction?

I had no choice.

I'm a gentleman.

Well, you picked a funny time to start acting like one.

Bake you, my love, please don't go through with this.

I must.

But why can't it wait until after the dinner?

But no one will know.

I'll know.

But it's suicide.

I need not remind you of all people that Reginald is a marvellous shot.

I want to mention the blatant hypocrisy of it all.

What, hypocrisy?

I was simply trying to make you jealous.

I have a little fun.

Whereas you, my own lady's maid.

Whereas you, my love, I'm allowed to, I'm a man.

I'm a woman, by law, my property.

Oh, I'm well aware, husband, but everything that you own has been handed

down are procured through my family.

So let's not mince words.

It's hypocrisy of the highest order.

I never knew you cared.

You're my husband.

Of course I do.

But you never said a word.

The wife doesn't.

Well, I can't go back now.

It's too late.

I'll look weak and indecisive.

Marie.

This wasn't the plan.

This wasn't the plan.

How could you be so careless?

Everything's under control, my love.

The man couldn't shoot a tree in a forest.

This is our moment.

Trust me.

Everyone knows.

There's a vast chasm in our ability of shot.

Mm-hmm.

I'm a far taller target to hit.

not to mention I have a much bigger head.

As daunting as it might seem, you must go through with it, it's the only noble thing

to do.

You can't be made a cuckle by your bloody valet.

I can hear the gossets already.

It'd be a stain you'd never be able to rub out.

You simply must.

Of course, I wouldn't think of it.

As your second, I can't help but ask, how's our invitation looking?

Well, there's been an enormous amount of interest.

But it simply wouldn't be the same without you and Mrs. Bennet.

I can't tell you how happy this makes me.

I've heard, from reliable sources, the Duke and Duchess are quite excited.

Your wife's wit, your keelai with the cards, oh, it's going to be an absolute

riot.

Indeed!

Look, I know this might sound crude or indelicate, carperful horse as to her.

But may I, we, receive the Duke if you happen to perish in the jewel?

What?

You know, just in case.

As a precautionary measure.

I hope this finds you well and that you have a lovely dinner.

I also hope to never see you again.

I love the pheasant.

I don't understand.

Did anyone see you?

Will this suffice?

I don't understand.

For a momentary lapse in shot.

You want me to spare him?.

Yes..

I can replace him.

He's a dim and selfish man and a poor shot, I know, but I love him.

Do you?

You are a woman of profound wisdom and strength.

He's a petty opportunist who flogs your ladies maid.

Oh, I'm readily aware of how we look from the outside.

But we love each other.

And how peculiar way.

I know of the rumors that he swindled me from my fortune, but that wasn't the case

at all.

I chose him.

His ambition, his zeal.

He wasn't some stuffy suitor in bread and idle.

He was, oh, he was fun.

Life would be many things, but it would never be dull.

No, I refused to marry well and find myself in the enviable position of being

nothing more than an elegant rug decorating my husband's drawing room.

It's a virtuous life, I'm sure.

Duty over desire, obligation over happiness.

But that's not the life that I chose to live.

I chose him.

I don't know if this sounds odd, but I truly believe that it's all been

leading to this moment, to this dinner, and I refuse to let some lust vultrist,

as pleasurable as it might have been, destroy it.

Please don't kill him.

Reginald.

P. H.

P. H.

P. H.

P. M.

Hm.

Aim for the head, the heart, the throat, I really don't care.

But shoot straight and you'll have a handsome promotion on the other side.

Why is everyone trying to bribe me?

I've heard tales of your marksmanship and dubious dealings.

More a killer, my boy.

I assure you, your compensation is...

Kind.

These were your spectacles.

These were your spectacles.

They make me look bookish and fat.

If I'm going to die, I'm going to look body good while doing it.

I'm sorry I was so cruel the other night.

I wasn't myself.

I love you know.

More than anything in the whole world.

Oh, how

could you?

You put me in an impossible position?

It was you who demanded satisfaction, sir.

Let's not point fingers.

I'm sorry, sir.

Perhaps we can resolve this matter by merely nicking one another in a fleshy tie

or, or losing a pinking.

No one need lose their life this evening.

We're nearly there, gentlemen.

I love jewels.

Sir Chauncy, as the assail, you may call.

Heads.

Heads it is.

Sir Chauncy has won the toss and shall fire first.

Mr. Halifax must stand your ground.

Gentlemen, ten paces.

One, two paces.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Wind, didn't you feel that gust of wind?

Mr. Bennet, there must be a technicality for such an occurrence.

I should have another shot, shouldn't I?

Sir Chaunce, I'm afraid you must stand your ground and receive Mr Halifax's fire.

Then and only then may you return shot.

Have you received satisfaction?

Do I look fucking satisfied you in Sippin' awe, Jesus?

Ahhah!

Bloody arm off!

Well, you challenge me to a jewel, sir, you should be grateful I didn't rip

your head off.

You ungrateful little cut!

Gentlemen, you must stand your ground once more.

Sir Chauncey, it is your turn to return fire.

Get the doctor!

Even though the shot was sheer luck, Chauncey was consumed with guilt.

It ate away at his guts like Hemlock.

In the end, Reginald Halifax perished in the very place he had been birthed in the

muck.

Good shot, old boy.

What time should we arrive for dinner?

Make sure you leave enough for the head there.

but you must not drink where it thins the blood and your wound is deep.

Do you understand?

My arm is shuttered.

Oh, I'm sorry, my love.

Where's Reginald?

I've played them on the battlefield, took his head right off.

Why do you look so surprised?

Is it he you wish returned in victory?

No, no, no, I... Let's not overdo it now, better him than me.

I'm your husband.

Shut up, he's dead?

It's true.

He's currently lying headless in a ditch in a ditch near the pond.

I'm sorry to be so blunt but what's done is done he was a good friend excluding the

incidents where he's sullied my wife nonetheless he'll be missed I know I've

You've been a wretched fool these past few days, but you've all done a remarkable job

in place.

Now, fetch your bottle of bubbly so we can celebrate.

Cho-chop, chop-chop.

One two, one two, one two, three, the Duke and Duchess

are coming for dinner.

Derby, Darby, Darby, Darby, Darby, Dau.

You can Dautus, I'm coming for dinner.

That you can Dus, I'm Dus, I'm coming for dinner.

The Dus, I'm Dus,

I'm coming for dinner.

You can't get it out just carry on dinner.

It's a fire on!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, shit.

That's odd.

Reginal,

come and see!

Oh, shit.

That's odd.

Oh, my love it's gangrenous.

You need to see a doctor immediately.

It's nothing really.

Just a little burn.

There's too much to do for the dinner this evening.

Has this all been worth it?

Digging ourselves into ruin, felling your best friend, your gout and your gangrenous

arms.

This is the only thing I was ever really good at.

And with you, my love, I found my partner in crime.

I carry the odious stench of an outsider, one that no perfume, however floral,

can eradicate or quell.

Oh, it's not how you were born, it's how you live that shows the depth of

your character.

Mr. Bluffin, how dear of you to Mr. Loudin, it's been too long.

What, what seems to be the problem?

Don't play aloof with me, savage.

Your shameful trickery is over.

We have a warrant for your arrest.

Trickery arrest.

I see your pox as heeled well.

Hamburg was it?

The West Indies, perhaps.

Your Valor?

I see my valet?

Of course, I thought this might concern him.

Concern him?

There's been a grave misunderstanding.

You see, my valet, Mr Halifax, apparently, was running a duplicity scheme

to fleece my family and trusted associates, such as these fine men.

Poppycock, the man's a liar and a scoundrel.

Sir, sir.

Now, where might we find this, Mr Halifax?

Reginald Stanley Halifax.

Unfortunately he fled in the night after I confronted him.

I'd like to file a reporter once.

Oh, of course!

This is ludicrous!

I don't believe a word of it.

What are your plans for this evening, gentlemen?

I beg your pardon.

We're receiving the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire for dinner and thought you

might like to attend.

We can discuss this sort of little affair over a good bottle of wine like gentlemen.

Ornard.

After Paul Leslie's disappearance, Reginald's death, it seems you're now my

longest tenure Tottenham.

Thus, promoted to Valet.

Congratulations.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, considering your predecessor's digressions, we thought it best to lay

some ground rules, Namely, do not fuck my wife.

Of course, sir.

You have risen quick due to a miraculous circumstance.

You and I are not that dissimilar.

What's your name again?

James, sir, James Darby.

Right, right, right?

A strong name.

Now, we need to find two replacements quick for this evening's dinner.

We don't have much time.

Oh, sir.

Darn it!

Do you smell that?

Smell what sir?

Oh, never am I.

Oh, look at those two fine men.

Stop someone was!

Yes, you two.

You're not jack-a-bites, are you?

Do you have all your limbs, including your fingers?

Show me?

Come, sir.

how about your teeth?

Top.

Bottom.

Oh, good enough.

Spend it.

I don't like the look of them, sir.

Hey, Derby.

You didn't look much better when I first found you.

What about the eye patch, sir?

Oh, I quite like it.

Nice touch.

Warwound from battlefield, eh?

Say for less, sir.

Oh, no, nonetheless.

Excellent.

Tally home.

This is the only warning you're going to get so heed it well.

Do not take advantage of Sir Savage's charity.

He may be a kind and magnanimous man, but I can assure you I am not.

Tonight is of great importance.

No mistakes will be tolerated.

Am I understood?

Good.

Now, clean up.

And scrub hard or I'll do it for you.

This is it.

The reason and reflection for all our tireless work.

The Duke and Duchess shall be joining us for dinner this evening.

So let's be our very best.

When one looks back on one's tedious and often aimless life, these are the days.

the moments that one shall remember.

It's a chop shop.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Having all right?

Oh, it's perfection.

Un knowingly and rather ironically, ironically, Chauncy had invited two

Jacobites into his home.

They weren't especially politically minded, but they did however enjoy their

looting, and occasional pillaging.

Down with the room.

And to make matters worse, Mr. Darby had discovered an unfortunate bout of the

pots.

He knew full well the potential ramifications, losing his life,

infecting his charitable employers, perhaps even the Duke and Duchess,

but feared losing his stately new post as valid.

He wasn't about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers, or fingernails

for that matter.

However miraculous or inevitable, Jacobites and the pox had infiltrated

savage house without any one being the wiser.

Underneath its shimmering shell, a darkness had slipped through the cracks.

In the words of Mrs. Bennet, evil was afoot.

And do you swallow the swords as well?

It's coming.

It's coming!

Oh!

What the

hell?

Darling, darling, get the doctor.

What the hell?

Do you're try to stay a car?

Can't wait till tomorrow?

I'm afraid not, sir.

But the Duke and Duchess are coming.

Sir, please!

You're going to die!

I'd like to thank you all for your generous attendance and...

I'd like to thank you all for your generous attendance and...

I'd like to thank you all for your generous attendance and...

humbled and honored to host the Duke and Duchess on such a glorious!

He...

Oh, no, he was...

Oh, it was such a glorious.

More fair.

There he has.

Shit!

Not now, Darby.

Just give me a bowman.

Oh,

not bad, oh boy.

Not bad at all.

Now, final touch.

I hope you don't hold his unfortunate passing against me that we can continue

working together as we were but this whole sort of mess behind us if tonight goes as

planned then we all stand to gain immeasurably but well I hope you can

forgive me as I have forgiven you

The moon passed the sun for exactly three minutes and 33 seconds precisely as Mr

Haley had predicted.

You're a radiant creature my love.

I don't know how or when it happened.

You're all grown up.

But I loath's grown-ups, Mama.

I know.

Now no talk of eclipses and Mr. Haley at the dinner and certainly no mice.

I don't know what's wrong with them.

Guinevere and while you're acting terribly bizarre, they keep walking in circles and

making the strangest of cells.

Oh, does it sound good, does it?

Stand still.

I'm dry.

Does it hurt?

Unfathomably.

Do you think anyone will notice?

compliments to the chef.

Ma'am.

You've done yourself, Mr. Walker.

Well, thank you, sir.

Must be the Duke.

They're early.

You see him, I'm lucky.

Dobby.

Is your arm all right?

Oh, it's you.

How lovely to see you.

Oh, they're here yet.

Not yet.

Oh, splendid.

I hope you don't mind.

We, um, came a little early.

No, no, not at all.

Oh, no, not at all.

after the jewel and Chauncy's arm had to be amputated What?

Is he all right?

No, he's in perfect health.

Excluding the missing limb, but I implore you not to speak of or to look at his arm

or lack thereof.

Not a word.

Eh?

Oh,

no, not at all.

You must be Mr Black.

But a pleasure to meet you.

As a precaution of measure, I feel I should warn you.

The civilated war was so fast that she collapsed and died.

But he had been her wants and she did too.

Well, we're here.

Should have been with us of course, but the best laid plans.

He can't host it in a par for not.

Okay, he had a grotesque.

I suppose they made a decent fist of it.

I have to sell all family earlums, apparently, mother's earrings.

Darling, however, did you cure such an invitation?

Mr Savage is a very dear colleague.

Oh, darling, when the time comes, would you like me to cut up your food for

you so it's not to draw attention?

As the hours began to slip away, an unsettling dread washed over the room.

sickly mouse beneath the table as Chaunce's nub bled through its bandage.

Darling, I think you're bleeding.

Whisper's and glances of suspicion spread.

Parched throats clear.

Do you think they're coming?

I don't know.

It's getting late.

I know.

Darling.

No, they're not coming, are they?

They're coming.

Perhaps they're fashionably late.

Fashionably.

I knew it.

Everyone perched perilously still, as if posing for a portrait, when the

one-eyed Jacobite's knees began to grow flimsy.

Don't even think of it.

But sir...

But nothing.

You've been fed, bathed and paid handsomely.

to stand your ground till the completion of our dinner whenever that might take

place.

No one is supposed!

Not an inch, not an errant cough, or flared nostril.

Am I understood?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Why don't look at that?

How dare you?

Don't look at me.

I'm idiots.

The Harvey, I be excused.

Never what is you real as they are!

They could be here any second!

But Darby, quickly, answer the door!

Right and hold, answer the door.

Yes, sir.

It's them.

It's them.

It's them.

It's them.

Really go.

Really go.

This is so.

From the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire.

We hope

this letter finds you well.

It has come to our attention that Lord Vernon and his family.

didn't have pox after all.

They're doing quite well now and in good spirits.

And thus, the Duke and Duchess will sadly not be joining you.

We hope our indecision has not brought you any inconvenience or harm and hope to meet

you on our next tall.

Our footman shall arrive tomorrow to retrieve our luggage.

Sincerely the house of temperature.

The Duke and Duchess would of course never come.

And the savages would fall precipitously into ruin.

Their reckless spending and careless behaviour would leave their once

illustriously Their reckless spending and careless behaviour would leave their once

illustrious home, nothing more than a poisonous plot.

A crippling burden for young Fanny and generations to come.

When one consumes at such a perilous pace, purchasing and devouring everything around

them, inevitably they'll devour themselves, from limb to limb.

For the social ladder can be precarious if you're not careful.

Oh, I haven't it?

Oh, hang it!

With the back!

Yeah!

Oh!

Oh!

Sit

still!

Sorry the news, savage.

Yes.

Oh,

Oh. The