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1
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{\an8}
2
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,458
{\an8}Am I six feet, yet?
3
00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:13,875
Hate to break it to you, babe,
you may never be six feet.
4
00:00:13,875 --> 00:00:16,333
Then I'll be seven feet tall
and live in a giant house,
5
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,291
and if you get too close,
I'll throw a horse at you.
6
00:00:20,208 --> 00:00:21,666
- Okay.
- Yeah.
7
00:00:21,666 --> 00:00:23,291
Come on, buddy,
you're up next.
8
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,375
All right, head back.
Take these guys off.
9
00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:27,541
Hey, leave it.
You'll wreck my hair.
10
00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:29,666
Get your head back.
Hey.
11
00:00:32,375 --> 00:00:34,750
: Parents love to keep track of their kids' growth.
12
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,041
We measure them.
13
00:00:36,041 --> 00:00:37,625
: We learn about percentiles,
14
00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:39,833
like they might bethe 30th percentile for height,
15
00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:42,166
but the 90th percentile for head size.
16
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,708
: You're describing a bobblehead.
17
00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:45,000
: But there's no growth chart
18
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,500
for being a well-rounded human.
19
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,583
: So, it's your job to help them develop
20
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:52,000
skills and hobbies so they're not totally boring.
21
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,500
You guys should measure
yourselves, too.
22
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,500
Oh, we stopped growing
a long time ago, pal.
23
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,041
Soon we're gonna
start shrinking.
24
00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:58,916
Our spines will compress,
we'll probably get osteoporosis
25
00:00:58,916 --> 00:01:00,375
from not doing enough
weight-bearing exercises.
26
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:02,166
Oh, now I remember why
we stopped measuring our kids.
27
00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:03,500
It's depressing.
28
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:05,583
Did you guys stop
when Morris was born?
29
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:10,333
We never measured Morris.
30
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:14,958
Okay, well, he was
all these heights at some point.
31
00:01:14,958 --> 00:01:17,250
- This is...
- Yeah.
32
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:18,458
...smart.
33
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:31,875
Thank you for taking
time off work to come and chat.
34
00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:33,750
I've been putting notes
in our communications folder
35
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:36,333
for weeks. Are you um,
are you getting those?
36
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:38,416
{\an8}- Oh, Viv must have
lost the folder.
37
00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:39,625
{\an8}She can be forgetful.
38
00:01:39,625 --> 00:01:40,833
{\an8}Which is why you signed up
39
00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:42,458
{\an8}for the school's
electronic folder system.
40
00:01:42,458 --> 00:01:44,791
{\an8}- We can be forgetful, too.
Yeah, found it.
41
00:01:44,791 --> 00:01:46,958
{\an8}We were supposed to bring
rice crispy squares
42
00:01:46,958 --> 00:01:49,083
{\an8}- to the fall fair.
Ooh.
43
00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:50,500
{\an8}: Lot of notes
to catch up on.
44
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,083
{\an8}- I wanna talk about
Viv's reading,
45
00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:56,125
{\an8}uh, specifically about how
she's... not really doing it.
46
00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:59,000
{\an8}Well, um, okay.
47
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:03,125
{\an8}Well, kids with ADHD
can struggle with reading, so.
48
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,500
{\an8}- I'm sorry, should we be worried?
No, no.
49
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,791
{\an8}I just wanted to raise a flag
and work with you
50
00:02:08,791 --> 00:02:12,708
{\an8}to get Viv excited about books.
It's no big D.
51
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:14,750
{\an8}- Right, hear that, James?
No big D.
52
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:17,958
{\an8}- I think we'll decide
how big a D it is, thank you.
53
00:02:17,958 --> 00:02:20,125
{\an8}- Well, lots of kids struggle
at this age.
54
00:02:20,125 --> 00:02:22,500
{\an8}Mostly boys,
but it's totally normal.
55
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,416
{\an8}We just don't want Viv
to fall behind.
56
00:02:24,416 --> 00:02:26,458
{\an8}- Okay, well,
girls have the right
57
00:02:26,458 --> 00:02:27,833
{\an8}to be behind in reading, too.
58
00:02:27,833 --> 00:02:30,041
{\an8}- Of course, that was just
a little observation.
59
00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:31,833
{\an8}Again, no big D.
60
00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:33,041
{\an8}Okay, well, I'll tell you
61
00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:34,666
{\an8}what's starting
to become a big D for me.
62
00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:36,375
{\an8}- Yeah, what can we do
to help Viv?
63
00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:37,708
{\an8}- Well, we track
the student's progress
64
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:39,500
{\an8}through the Mr. Brown series
of primary books.
65
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,666
{\an8}But Viv's only read
the first one.
66
00:02:41,666 --> 00:02:43,375
{\an8}- Okay, well...
67
00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:45,166
{\an8}- Oh, that's for
all the students.
68
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,708
{\an8}- Thank you for bringing it
to our attention.
69
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,333
{\an8}-Of course.
Which you did four months ago.
70
00:02:49,333 --> 00:02:50,875
{\an8}It's our only copy.
71
00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:52,333
{\an8}We need to get Viv a tutor.
72
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,625
{\an8}- We don't.
Yes, we do.
73
00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:55,125
{\an8}- The teacher was just
raising a flag.
74
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:56,750
{\an8}- You know who else
raises flags? Pirates.
75
00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:59,791
{\an8}- They raise flags of death.
Oh, free association Astrid
76
00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:01,416
{\an8}is the most difficult Astrid
to talk to.
77
00:03:01,416 --> 00:03:03,875
You know who else talks?
Teachers in private schools.
78
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:06,083
Private schools
with better ADHD support.
79
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:07,791
And a personal horse
80
00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:10,208
that acts as both gym equipment
and a reading buddy.
81
00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:11,541
She does not need
a reading horse.
82
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:13,333
We are her reading horse.
83
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:15,708
Viv isn't reading.
Felix quit baseball.
84
00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:17,000
Morris barely talks.
85
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,291
James, our kids
have stopped developing.
86
00:03:19,291 --> 00:03:21,666
Do you know who else
has stopped developing, James?
87
00:03:21,666 --> 00:03:23,166
- Oh, boy.
- Dinosaurs.
88
00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:24,750
Okay, look,
Morris gets a pass.
89
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,625
Felix, yeah,
you're right about that,
90
00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:28,541
he needs to do something.
He needs a hobby real bad.
91
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,916
Oh, okay, maybe Felix's hobby
92
00:03:29,916 --> 00:03:31,416
could be helping Viv
with her reading.
93
00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:33,291
That hobby
is called parenting.
94
00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:35,375
You know what else
is called parenting?
95
00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:37,625
What we're about
to do right now.
96
00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:45,791
Mr. Brown...
97
00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:51,416
has a li... it... tle...
98
00:03:52,583 --> 00:03:55,083
- A little...
- Purple?
99
00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:57,125
I found a purple flower
at school.
100
00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:58,625
Wanna know what it's called?
101
00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,125
No, Viv, let's,
let's focus on the book.
102
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:03,333
We're almost done.
We're on page... 2.
103
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,708
Can we get a dog
like Mr. Brown?
104
00:04:05,708 --> 00:04:07,875
No, but we can read
about Mr. Brown's
105
00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:11,750
little pup, pup... Ah.
106
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,625
Guess what song this is?
107
00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:21,125
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪
108
00:04:22,291 --> 00:04:25,666
Um, are you embarrassed
about your reading?
109
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:30,166
No. This book is so boring-uh.
110
00:04:30,166 --> 00:04:32,291
Okay. Well,
why don't we find you
111
00:04:32,291 --> 00:04:33,875
something more exciting to read?
112
00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:36,583
Well, I wanna read
books about...
113
00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:41,041
Gonna have to use
your words, babe.
114
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:42,750
Ad-ven-ture.
115
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,083
Okay, well, in that case,
we will find you
116
00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:47,375
the best adventure books
in the whole world.
117
00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,750
'Til then,
I think you need to...
118
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,041
Eat my farts.
119
00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:56,958
Wrong! Go to bed.
120
00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:59,833
Pretty sure it was
eat my farts.
121
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,583
No, I think
it's off to bed, kiddo.
122
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,833
Gentlemen,
Gero's new president
123
00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:15,666
wants GoBo to change its logo.
124
00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:18,375
Uh-oh, sounds
like we got a logo no-go.
125
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:20,416
- Let's have fun today.
- No.
126
00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:22,333
Now, I've narrowed down
the top 100
127
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,166
design submissions to 15.
128
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,625
I need you to choose
the top three.
129
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,083
Why do we have
to change the logo?
130
00:05:28,083 --> 00:05:29,875
Oh, in my experience,
new leaders
131
00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:31,833
like to make arbitrary
changes to flex.
132
00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:33,041
Makes for a lot
of pointless work.
133
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,125
Yeah, presidents
don't know anything.
134
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:37,000
- Hey.
- This one started work
135
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,333
at age ten.
That's how you get ahead.
136
00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:40,916
It's also child labour.
137
00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:42,958
Here, let me look
at these. No.
138
00:05:42,958 --> 00:05:44,416
- Yeah, I agree.
- Yeah, maybe pile.
139
00:05:44,416 --> 00:05:46,333
- That's like a Robocop.
- Hi!
140
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,333
Hi.
141
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,708
GoBo is going to start
giving back.
142
00:05:50,708 --> 00:05:53,166
We will help develop
future leaders
143
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,458
by hiring an intern today.
144
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:59,083
I've carefully selected
Corey for the job.
145
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:01,666
Yeah, sure, cool, whatever.
146
00:06:01,666 --> 00:06:03,500
Oh, so you're okay
with child labour
147
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,208
as long as it benefits you.
148
00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:08,375
- This will not benefit me.
- I look forward to learning.
149
00:06:08,375 --> 00:06:10,083
Uh, okay,
I got a lesson for you.
150
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:12,958
- Get me a coffee.
- Pour over or French press?
151
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,541
Uh, surprise me.
152
00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:20,125
Hmm, wow. Kid's got potential.
153
00:06:20,916 --> 00:06:22,625
Is there bubble tea
where we're going?
154
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:24,833
We're going to the park
to see Morris and your Mom.
155
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:26,625
Pretend I have
a sprained ankle, okay?
156
00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:27,958
Okay.
157
00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:29,416
Ooh, good limpin'!
158
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:34,875
Hey, you know,
I saw a poster at your school
159
00:06:34,875 --> 00:06:37,333
that said they were having
pickleball club at recess.
160
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:39,916
You know, that's the fastest
growing sport in the world.
161
00:06:39,916 --> 00:06:43,875
- I'm busy at recess.
- Okay. What, doing what?
162
00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:45,625
Me and my friends
hang out in the field
163
00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:48,750
- and listen to podcasts.
- Oof, my God.
164
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:50,166
- What?
- Well...
165
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:51,958
- They're educational.
- But...
166
00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:54,125
How many kids my age
know what a VCR is?
167
00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:55,708
But you're not doing anything.
168
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:58,458
You need like a physical
or creative outlet.
169
00:06:58,458 --> 00:07:00,333
Can I have these, please?
170
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:03,333
Uh... I don't know.
What does that say?
171
00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:06,500
-Take these?
- No, it says, "free stuff."
172
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,500
- So, yes, you can have that.
- Yes!
173
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,291
Ooh. Ooh, you gotta get
in here, Felix.
174
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:13,916
Some pretty sweet goods.
Look at this. Rubik's Cube.
175
00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:15,333
You ever seen one of these?
176
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,500
You know, I used to play
with these when I was a kid.
177
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,291
Taught me problem solving skills
I still use to this day.
178
00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:22,291
No, I don't have any problems,
so.
179
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,291
Okay. Um...
180
00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:28,250
Hey, look at this.
You love drawing.
181
00:07:28,791 --> 00:07:30,833
Oh, my, look at that, man.
182
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:34,583
It's not even used.
What do you say?
183
00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:36,750
You can draw while
you listen to podcasts.
184
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:38,416
- Okay, sure.
- There you go, that's a win.
185
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,208
Daddy, can I have
this cup, please?
186
00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:42,166
Oh, uh, yeah,
187
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:44,458
only one treasure per person,
Wonder Girl.
188
00:07:44,458 --> 00:07:45,833
Okay.
189
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:46,791
And blue.
190
00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:48,916
Yeah.
191
00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:51,041
- Roar!
- Ah! Oh, Felix!
192
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,000
What took you guys so long?
193
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,166
We found some treasures.
Viv got some books.
194
00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:57,500
Felix got some pencil crayons.
Oh.
195
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,500
And a mug for you, my sweet.
196
00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:03,083
You know me so well.
Beer truly is my coffee.
197
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,166
Can you read
one to me, Mommy?
198
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:07,083
- Yeah, let's read together.
- All right, dudes,
199
00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:09,458
race to the park. Let's go!
Oh!
200
00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:11,125
Oh, you're gonna finish
in last place, buddy.
201
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,208
I'm gonna take you.
202
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,666
Okay, what do we have here?
203
00:08:14,416 --> 00:08:17,208
"Itsy Bitsy Mommy
and the Big Stain."
204
00:08:18,416 --> 00:08:19,791
Okay.
205
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,041
"Itsy Bitsy Mommy Stays Quiet."
206
00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:26,291
"Itsy Bitsy Mommy
Makes Room for Others."
207
00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:27,791
Can we read one?
208
00:08:31,083 --> 00:08:32,541
Yeah.
209
00:08:32,541 --> 00:08:35,083
"One hot, summer day,
Itsy Bitsy Mommy Doreen
210
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:36,791
wanted to have some fun.
211
00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:40,500
So, she made a big pitcher
of lemonade for Big Daddy Dog.
212
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:44,291
{\an8}But she tripped and spilled
lemonade all over his shirt.
213
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,833
{\an8}He got so mad, he growled."
214
00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:50,375
Oh, no. What will he wear now?
215
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:52,708
{\an8}"To make Big Daddy Dog happy,
216
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:54,291
{\an8}Itsy Bitsy Mommy Doreen
decided to--"
217
00:08:54,291 --> 00:08:58,958
"to bake him a...
218
00:08:58,958 --> 00:09:02,500
{\an8}c-a-ke."
219
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,708
I love the way Itsy Bitsy
Mommy Doreen looks.
220
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:10,958
We gotta get rid
of those books.
221
00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:13,291
Itsy Bitsy Mommy is a teeny,
weeny trad-wife.
222
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,416
Well, just get her the books
that Felix learned to read on,
223
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:18,000
- the submarine shark.
- What? That's not any better.
224
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,458
A shark that drives
a submarine, James?
225
00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:22,708
- There's no logic to that.
- Viv is reading.
226
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:24,333
Isn't that the whole point
of the whole thing?
227
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:27,958
Oh, James. Reading
is about expanding your mind,
228
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,250
not lobotomizing it.
229
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,875
Hey guys, check out
my new drawing.
230
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,708
You did not do that?
231
00:09:32,708 --> 00:09:35,375
- Get... outta the town.
- Come on, Felix!
232
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,958
What is that?
233
00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:39,833
It's planets
exploding in space.
234
00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:44,125
- Yes, amazing!
- Yeah. Yeah, wow!
235
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,958
- Is that for school tomorrow?
- No, tomorrow's a PA day.
236
00:09:46,958 --> 00:09:49,875
Uh, yeah. I know that, Felix.
237
00:09:49,875 --> 00:09:51,125
Did you know that, James?
238
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:52,458
Yeah, I knew
the heck outta that.
239
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:55,208
Hey um, tomorrow,
240
00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:57,208
GoBo is doing a new logo design.
241
00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:58,833
You wanna come in
to work with me?
242
00:09:58,833 --> 00:10:01,458
- Sweet.
- Yeah, okay, that's one down.
243
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:04,333
Um, uh sweetie, honey,
244
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,916
why are you wearing an apron?
245
00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:07,458
Didn't wanna dirty my frock
246
00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,291
while I sharpened
Felix's pencil crayons.
247
00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:10,750
Hmm.
248
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:12,333
Drawing is hungry work, Felix.
249
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:13,791
Can I make you up a plate?
250
00:10:13,791 --> 00:10:15,916
Itsy Bitsy Mommy.
251
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,541
Uh, oh, uh, thank you, Viv.
252
00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:22,000
We gotta get rid
of those books.
253
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,000
Mm-hmm.
254
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,208
I forgot I had
all these old books of yours.
255
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,416
Mom, the only thing
in here is Teen Beat magazines
256
00:10:28,416 --> 00:10:31,291
and Archie comics. Why'd you
let me read this garbage?
257
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:32,875
Same reason I let Dawn
do the taxes.
258
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:34,875
You were exploring
your interests.
259
00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:38,000
We have to find something
stimulating for Viv.
260
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,791
She's obsessed with these
Itsy Bitsy Mommy books.
261
00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:42,250
They're trash.
262
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,041
If we chose
what you kids liked,
263
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:45,291
we'd never have let you listen
264
00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:48,083
to that screaming
scary vampire music.
265
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:50,833
♪ Oh, here's a chicken,
let's bite off its head ♪
266
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,250
♪ Oh, look, its blood is red ♪
267
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:55,125
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪♪
268
00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:57,291
- What song was that?
- Well, you know.
269
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,625
♪ Drink my blood,
we're together in bed ♪
270
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,291
♪ With the red blood, blood ♪♪
271
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,750
Oh. I almost forgot.
272
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:07,416
The new Bridgemaker's Cousin
book is out.
273
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,333
Gimme! Oh, my God,
274
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,125
I heard the cousin reveal
in this one is insane.
275
00:11:11,125 --> 00:11:12,875
Oh, it's less about
who is a cousin
276
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:15,166
and more about who isn't.
277
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:19,583
Viv, what's on your face?
278
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:21,708
Itsy Bitsy Mommy Doreen
279
00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:24,708
always powders her nose
before going out.
280
00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:26,583
Okay, change of plans.
281
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:28,458
Viv's coming to work
with me today.
282
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:30,250
- On election day?
- Oh yeah,
283
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,875
this is a perfect chance
for her to see
284
00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,291
what a big Mommy does.
285
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:35,291
Or woman. A big woman.
286
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:37,458
Who's also a Mommy.
No matter the size.
287
00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:38,750
Oh, my God, I'm James-ing.
288
00:11:41,125 --> 00:11:43,250
What about one
that's like a ball of yarn
289
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:45,750
with a needle through it,
but it's shaped like a heart.
290
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:48,750
- It's like Cupid.
- That's this one.
291
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,250
Yeah.
292
00:11:51,166 --> 00:11:54,583
As requested,
chips and dip four ways,
293
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:57,333
but the tenderloin
needs a few more minutes in the sous vide.
294
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:59,458
- Hmm, okay.
- Now can I learn about GoBo?
295
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:01,166
The learning
has already begun.
296
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,291
Hey, you know what I would like
is a ginger ale.
297
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:06,625
I don't think we have those.
298
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:08,416
Be right on it.
299
00:12:08,416 --> 00:12:09,875
-Hey, Dad.
- Yeah?
300
00:12:09,875 --> 00:12:11,458
Check this out.
301
00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:14,833
What? You made that?
That's amazing!
302
00:12:15,791 --> 00:12:17,416
Maybe you can use it
for the logo.
303
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,333
: A child's ego is a delicate thing.
304
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:22,958
: You wanna puff it up enough
305
00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:24,833
to keep them happily afloat in the kiddie pool of life.
306
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:26,583
: But over-inflate it and they'll think
307
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:28,250
they're ready for more dangerous waters.
308
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:30,000
: But they won't be. Especially if you've been lax
309
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,583
with the swimming lessons and their heavy head
310
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:33,250
is in the 90th percentile.
311
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:35,041
Uh, this is turning into a drowning analogy.
312
00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:37,000
Too dark, I want out.: Abandon ship, James.
313
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,166
Yeah, for our logo,
I, I uh, you know what?
314
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:42,375
I'll say this, this is one
of the best drawings
315
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:44,458
you've ever done.
I can say that.
316
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,625
Gentlemen, I just got word
317
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:48,458
that the president of Gero's
is coming today.
318
00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:52,541
So, I need you to narrow down
the top three logos, stat.
319
00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:55,250
Marla, is there any intern
services I can provide for you?
320
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:59,208
Hmm. My scorpions
need to feed. Come.
321
00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:00,916
Okay.
322
00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:05,416
She's not actually gonna feed
Corey to the scorpions?
323
00:13:05,416 --> 00:13:06,833
I hope not.
324
00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:09,416
All right, Viv,
take a look around.
325
00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:12,833
Look at all these
hard-working women here on election day.
326
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,625
No little Mommies in sight.
327
00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:18,833
Mommy, she looks
like a Doreen.
328
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:20,791
Well, she's not, Viv.
329
00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:22,791
She's an involved
community member
330
00:13:22,791 --> 00:13:24,750
and a very
hard-working volunteer.
331
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,500
Her name is...
332
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,458
I forget her name,
but it's not Doreen.
333
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,583
Yo, how do you turn on
the dishwasher again?
334
00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:32,833
I always forget and you're like,
a dishwashing wizard.
335
00:13:34,791 --> 00:13:36,583
Jean-Luc, go do some work.
336
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,250
Yeah, I probably should.
337
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,583
I haven't done anything. Woo!
338
00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:43,208
Astrid, somehow,
I got minestrone soup
339
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:45,958
all over my lucky tie.
It's like an Italian curse.
340
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:48,958
Leonard, breathe.
Give it to me. I got it.
341
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:51,958
You know what? No tie is great.
You're a man of the people now.
342
00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:55,333
Yeah, I guess I do feel
a lot freer to cut the crap.
343
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:59,458
- Well done.
- Yeah, see? Ha. Ha, ha.
344
00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:02,041
Tsk, tsk.
Whatever shall we do
345
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,833
about this nasty, nasty spot?
346
00:14:08,208 --> 00:14:10,041
Can't we just go
with the top two?
347
00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:12,250
- Yeah?
- Gentlemen, the new President
348
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,208
of Gero's has arrived.
349
00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:16,541
Prepare yourselves.
350
00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:17,958
Oh, for what?
351
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:20,708
Oh, Marla, are you
the new President?
352
00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:26,625
I am the new President
of Gero's. Surprise!
353
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:30,708
Yay! Congratulations,
Marla! That's amazing.
354
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,291
Well, how?
How did this happen?
355
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:36,541
The old President was let go
after an email surfaced
356
00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:39,083
about a clandestine
puppy mill ring.
357
00:14:39,083 --> 00:14:41,166
In the chaotic scramble
358
00:14:41,166 --> 00:14:44,208
to find a replacement,
I was the only stable choice.
359
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:50,166
For my first act as President,
I will choose a new logo.
360
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,583
Oh, hold on, real quick.
361
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:52,875
That's actually
a different pile.
362
00:14:52,875 --> 00:14:55,250
- That's a different thing.
- What is this?
363
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:57,583
Oh, that one's mine.
It's good, right, Dad?
364
00:14:57,583 --> 00:15:00,125
Yeah. I love it.
I think it's really good.
365
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,375
Right, Ennis?
366
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,791
I think you could do better.
Ennis!
367
00:15:05,791 --> 00:15:08,625
What, it's uneven here.
There's eraser marks.
368
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:10,708
What, is there a beehive
for some reason?
369
00:15:10,708 --> 00:15:12,208
The colour scheme's
all "pbbt".
370
00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:14,041
Oh, no, I don't--
371
00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:15,750
You said it was
my best drawing.
372
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,541
It is. I love it.
373
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:22,125
It's just, for GoBo,
it might not be right.
374
00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:28,333
Oh.
Come on, people!
375
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:30,291
How long does it take
to count a few votes?
376
00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:31,875
Uh, yeah, yeah.
377
00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:34,416
Um, sure. Yeah, I'll let him
know. Yeah, thanks.
378
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:36,666
We won.
379
00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:44,500
Cut the crap!
Cut the crap! Cut the crap!
380
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:47,958
- Cut the crap!
- Okay, okay, everybody.
381
00:15:47,958 --> 00:15:50,625
Quiet down.
We have a lot of work to do.
382
00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:51,916
I need you to run point,
383
00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:53,625
field interview requests
and photos.
384
00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:54,958
- Jean-Luc, get the press ready.
- On it.
385
00:15:54,958 --> 00:15:56,625
Let's do it now.
Come on, guys.
386
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,625
- Where's my uh...
- Oh, Leonard, your speech.
387
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:02,208
14 point Helvetica bold,
double-spaced,
388
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:05,708
- no italics because slants...
- Make me dizzy. Good job.
389
00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:10,250
And Astrid, you know,
390
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:13,166
I know I... can be a lot.
391
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,166
But I couldn't have done
any of this without you.
392
00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:19,416
I'm proud to work with you.
393
00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:22,125
Ahem, congratulations, again.
394
00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:24,875
From me and my entire family.
395
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:28,708
Ahem, including Viv.
Ahem, Viv! Psst!
396
00:16:28,708 --> 00:16:30,166
Yoo-hoo, Viv.
397
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:31,916
Press is here.
398
00:16:31,916 --> 00:16:33,208
It's showtime!
399
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,375
Oh wait, Leonard,
your collar. Okay.
400
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,250
Yay, Mommy!
401
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:40,833
You're a really good helper.
402
00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:47,208
I only need seven more
yellows on this side.
403
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:49,333
Viv asked to do
the dishes tonight.
404
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,250
But I know she only asked
405
00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:52,666
because of the Itsy
Bitsy Mommies.
406
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,750
Those books
are such garbage, James.
407
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,875
Yeah. How are those
smutty cousins books going?
408
00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:00,041
The Bridgemaker's Cousin
series, James?
409
00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,541
Oh yes, that one.
410
00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:03,500
The historical fiction
that I'm reading?
411
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,833
- Uh-huh.
- It's hardly smut.
412
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:06,250
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?
413
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,791
Though, this one is a little
spicier than the rest.
414
00:17:08,791 --> 00:17:10,000
Ah.
415
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,791
There's a third cousin
in this one.
416
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:13,791
It's...
417
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,083
Meanwhile...
418
00:17:19,250 --> 00:17:20,666
Felix may never draw again
419
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,208
after Ennis destroyed him
at work today.
420
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,000
He's back on the podcasts.
Are our kids doomed?
421
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,041
No, not if we course correct.
422
00:17:26,041 --> 00:17:27,750
That's why I bought Viv
a new book
423
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,250
on the way home from work.
424
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,583
"Historical Strong Women
Bedtime Stories."
425
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:33,708
- Oh.
- Course corrected.
426
00:17:33,708 --> 00:17:35,166
Ooh.
427
00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:39,250
Mommy, can kids
get burned at the stake?
428
00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:42,291
No, babe, not anymore.
429
00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:43,791
Go to sleep.
430
00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:46,458
Course corrected.
431
00:17:49,041 --> 00:17:50,666
Buddy?
432
00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:59,541
Oh, don't look at that.
This one's better.
433
00:17:59,541 --> 00:18:01,666
No, no, no. This is amazing.
434
00:18:01,666 --> 00:18:03,583
I'm just happy to see you
sticking with it.
435
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,416
You know, I was afraid that,
436
00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:06,791
that Marla and Ennis
ruined it for you.
437
00:18:06,791 --> 00:18:08,958
Them? Why would you say
438
00:18:08,958 --> 00:18:11,833
my drawing was your favourite
when it wasn't even that good?
439
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:14,750
No, listen, I truly love
the stuff that you make.
440
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:16,750
But I also truly love you.
441
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:20,291
So, it can be hard for me
to be objective sometimes.
442
00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:22,791
Do you think this could be
the new GoBo logo?
443
00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:24,958
Are you kidding?
They'd be crazy not to have it.
444
00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:26,375
Tell the truth.
445
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:28,625
Okay, it's not
good enough yet.
446
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:31,791
But if you stick with it,
who knows what could happen?
447
00:18:31,791 --> 00:18:32,833
I do.
448
00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:37,250
Felix Industries?
449
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:40,375
The top of the "i" in Felix
has a shading issue.
450
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:42,166
No, it's really good, Dad.
451
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:44,375
- Yeah, but no, yep, yep, yep.
- Really good.
452
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,750
The Mirabal sisters
refused to live
453
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:51,708
under a dictatorship
and helped bring democracy to the Dominican Republic.
454
00:18:51,708 --> 00:18:54,500
Despite their best efforts,
the three sisters were...
455
00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,166
What's wrong, Mommy?
456
00:19:00,708 --> 00:19:02,541
Um, the...
457
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:06,583
Well, you know, not every story
has a happy ending.
458
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,625
The important thing
is that these three women
459
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,458
were inspirational.
460
00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:14,541
And I, I will tell you why
when you're older.
461
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:17,083
Maybe we should read
one of my books.
462
00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:19,750
Maybe we should.
463
00:19:22,708 --> 00:19:26,541
"Itsy Bitsy Mommy
Stays Quiet."
464
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:29,625
"One cool, spring day,
Big Daddy Dog was in a rush
465
00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:31,708
to get to work and almost went
without a lunch."
466
00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:35,041
Viv, that's amazing reading.
467
00:19:36,791 --> 00:19:39,291
: It's normal to compare your kids to their peers.
468
00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:40,708
Or a list of benchmarks.
469
00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:42,666
Or one time, an impressive celebrity dog.
470
00:19:42,666 --> 00:19:45,000
: But kids develop at different rates,
471
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,541
so calm down or you'll be in the 100th percentile for stress headaches.
472
00:19:48,541 --> 00:19:50,541
: And go easy on yourself.
473
00:19:50,541 --> 00:19:52,083
You're still growing, too.
474
00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:55,333
Then, Itsy Bitsy Mommy
pulled off their whole face.
475
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:58,625
Surprise! She was a gross alien
the whole time.
476
00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:00,666
Mm, I don't know, I think
you're making that up.
477
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,166
I think it's an improvement.
478
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:04,625
She had nine eyes
and she was covered in scuzz,
479
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:06,791
but you think she cared?
She didn't.
480
00:20:06,791 --> 00:20:09,916
She was there to free the people
of Earth from oppression.
481
00:20:09,916 --> 00:20:13,041
Yes, she was!
482
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,708
I never understood why
you kids liked Archie comics.
483
00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:19,500
Betty and Veronica spent
their whole time chasing Archie,
484
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,541
when it was Reggie
who was the real snack.
485
00:20:21,541 --> 00:20:22,875
Ew, Mom.
486
00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:24,541
And yet, you managed
to run a successful
487
00:20:24,541 --> 00:20:26,041
re-election campaign.
488
00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:28,000
It all evens out
in the wash, kiddo.
489
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Yeah, I guess.
490
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,000
Parenting is so much
harder now.
491
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,791
I didn't have to hear
every study, every opinion,
492
00:20:35,791 --> 00:20:37,708
and every carcinogen warning.
493
00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:40,458
Take a breath.
You're doing great.
494
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:43,041
- Thanks, Mom.
- Aw.
495
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,625
And you're a real snack.
496
00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,375
Mom, why do you keep
saying "snack?"
497
00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:51,750
It's my latest thing.
37702
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