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1
00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:08,884
Was I breathing
too hard out of my mouth again last night?
2
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,804
{\an8}- Oh, my God, it was like
Darth Vader
3
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,556
{\an8}and a dragon had a baby.
4
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,183
Mmm, I love that for them.
5
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,560
- You know what I realized?
- Ooh, that the kids are asleep
6
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:22,314
and it gives us some time
for some quality time?
7
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,066
I was gonna say that
I married a huge nerd,
8
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,692
but yes, that's a great idea.
9
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:29,238
Mmm. It's been forever
since we've done this.
10
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,867
Can't have been
that long, can it?
11
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:37,329
: Parenting is allabout managing wants and needs.
12
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,540
{\an8}: Like, who needs what,when, why,
13
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,917
and how are we outta milkalready? I just went shopping.
14
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,003
: Parents' needsusually take a back seatto the kids' needs.
15
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,839
: But if you denyyour own needs for too long…
16
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,340
: They becomevery needy
17
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,509
and it's hard to focuson anything else.
18
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,848
Oh my gosh,
it has been a while.
19
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,183
It hasn't been a while,
it's been a whi-le.
20
00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,476
Ee.
21
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,103
How did we
let this happen?
22
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,896
I can't find
my flamingo stuffy.
23
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,858
Felix spilled eggs,
and I think Morris wet the bed.
24
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:08,068
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
25
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,361
- That.
- Mm-hmm.
26
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:12,030
Pillow wall?
Don't mind if I do.
27
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,866
{\an8}Yeah, just come,
28
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,743
{\an8}just make yourself right,
right, right at home.
29
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,328
{\an8}
30
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,169
- You trying to get me fired?
- No.
31
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,545
Well, what are you
doing down here?
32
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,463
- I'm on a break.
- This is a place of business.
33
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:29,631
- So?
- You are bad.
34
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:30,841
- You're bad.
- Excuse me?
35
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,342
- You're bad.
- You're down here.
36
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,011
So?
37
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,470
{\an8}
38
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,639
{\an8}Well, looks like I'm back
on the surrogate clock,
39
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,225
{\an8}which means I have to pick up
Bo's dry cleaning.
40
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,768
{\an8}Hi, James.
41
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,478
{\an8}Hi, Zinnia.
42
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,732
{\an8}Hello.
43
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,151
{\an8}- I'm worried, James.
Oh.
44
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,445
{\an8}- What? What about?
Zinnia.
45
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,530
{\an8}I don't pretend
to listen to her.
46
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,074
{\an8}I actually have interest
in the words she says.
47
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,744
{\an8}Last week, out of nowhere,
I texted her, "Hi."
48
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:01,622
{\an8}- Just one word, "Hi."
Maybe, hear me out,
49
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,999
{\an8}maybe things are getting
serious between you two.
50
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,251
{\an8}- No, we're keeping it casual.
Oh, okay.
51
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,754
{\an8}- It's just that I could maybe
see keeping it casual with her
52
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,547
{\an8}exclusively for the rest
of my life.
53
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,883
{\an8}
And the physical stuff.
54
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,178
{\an8}- Yeah, 'cause she's pregnant.
What? No! Gross, no.
55
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,263
{\an8}- It's because of Dawn.
What? No! Gross!
56
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,556
{\an8}Not like that.
57
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,350
{\an8}Dawn is very controlling
of Zinnia's movements,
58
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,810
{\an8}what she eats, where she goes,
what she watches on TV.
59
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,646
{\an8}- Yeah, why would a pregnant
woman need freedom?
60
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,022
{\an8}So, we need to be spontaneous.
61
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,774
{\an8}Find secret places
to sneak off to.
62
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,527
{\an8}Our current favorite
is a parking lot
63
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,780
{\an8}outside of this abandoned
library. Always empty.
64
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,491
{\an8}It's haunting,
but that's part of the heat.
65
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:41,036
{\an8}- Yeah, I miss the days when
I didn't have to schedule sex.
66
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:44,540
{\an8}-Same!
Gah! What in the… God!
67
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:45,874
{\an8}How long have you been there?
68
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,960
{\an8}How long is a piece of string?
69
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,924
{\an8}- Wh-why do you have
to schedule sex, Marla?
70
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,969
{\an8}- Why would you ask that?
Because I am a busy woman
71
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,805
{\an8}whose li-hubba-hubba-bido
stops for no one.
72
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,223
{\an8}- You see?
Big mistake.
73
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,850
{\an8}- You know what else
stops for no one?
74
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,518
{\an8}: Capitalism.
75
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,104
{\an8}- That's the one.
Our fickle mistress.
76
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:11,608
{\an8}Ooh, why don't we surprise her
with some sultry productivity.
77
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:15,195
Do I call HR
for that or do you?
78
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,034
James, do you have Claire's
birthday party in your calendar?
79
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,579
- Yes, I do. It was last month.
- We missed it?
80
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,372
That's okay,
she's not really my friend
81
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,790
anymore for some reason.
82
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,042
Did that "some reason"
happen about a month ago?
83
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,586
Maybe.
Viv.
84
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,671
We are
so over-scheduled. - I know, that's why
85
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,673
I got your mom to take care
of the kids tonight
86
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,216
so we could have
the whole evening
87
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,342
to come up with a better system.
88
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:38,844
I was hoping
we'd just have sex.
89
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,762
Me too.
Oh, I didn't wanna say
90
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,264
'cause it would make me
sound desperate,
91
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,308
- but I am super desperate.
- Oh, you? We're using my mother
92
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,893
to get laid and I'm not
even mad about it.
93
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,812
- Yeah, makes two of us.
- Gross.
94
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,190
Well, Felix, you're not gonna
have to see us kiss all night
95
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,691
because you're having
a sleepover at Nanima's house.
96
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,943
- Yes!
- I don't wanna go.
97
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,654
- What?
- It's boring at Nanima's house.
98
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,823
I just wanna stay here.
99
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,491
Felix,
this is not a democracy.
100
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,452
We say you're going,
you're going.
101
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:06,872
- This sucks.
- Hey, cups stay downstairs.
102
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,000
- What is happening?
- I don't know, but if Felix
103
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,710
doesn't get on board,
our night's over.
104
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,587
Look at my picture.
105
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,381
Nanima just really,
really wants to have a sleepover.
106
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,675
Don't you always tell me
I shouldn't feel forced
107
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,594
to do something
I don't wanna do?
108
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,223
Yes, we do,
but th-this is different.
109
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,600
- Why?
- Because uh…
110
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,060
This time,
we're gonna give you 10 bucks.
111
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,728
What is that?
112
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,855
I lost my wallet so I got one
of these sleek guys.
113
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,024
Hold on, I just,
I can see the money. I…
114
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,817
Why can't she just
babysit us here?
115
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:40,030
Ahem, because uh,
your mom has a gala for work.
116
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,323
- Right!
- Yes.
117
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,741
The gala. Yeah.
118
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,535
And we don't want Nanima
waiting up for us all night
119
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:48,747
because as you know, as we all
know, galas take just forever.
120
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,541
What's this gala for?
121
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,836
Your mom's winning an award!
122
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,839
I sure am.
Congrats.
123
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:59,925
- Thank you.
- What's the award for?
124
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,554
I, I don't wanna brag, so.
125
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,472
Oh, you should, you should.
It's your time to shine.
126
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,932
- So, James?
- Okay.
127
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,308
Uh, your mom's winning an award
128
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:12,104
for most improved of all time.
129
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,651
Fine, I'll go.
130
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,529
But I'm not building
any stupid pillow forts.
131
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,823
- Okay, great. Thank you, Felix.
- You do you.
132
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,241
I just have to say though,
133
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,244
it's not an award
for improvement, per se,
134
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,829
because you know, I've always
been great at my job.
135
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,998
-Yeah, Astrid.
- No, you're right.
136
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,292
No, it's just, it's truly
an honour just to be recognized in some way.
137
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,668
Okay, we're good.
138
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,336
You have a great
time at Nanima's.
139
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,713
There it is. Let's go.
140
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:41,842
Dad.
141
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,052
I brought Slinky's!
142
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:46,096
- Nanima!
- Hey!
143
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,223
I was at the drug store
buying burn ointment
144
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,725
for Todd Russell's mother.
145
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:53,645
Grease fire. And I got these
calendars for the kids.
146
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,105
Thanks, Nanima!
147
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,982
Yeah, thanks, Nanima.
148
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,985
Hey, thanks for
stepping in last minute, Nisha.
149
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,989
Well, I haven't had a triple
sleepover in too long.
150
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,574
And my speed dating event
151
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,326
was cancelled because the venue
was under a meth lab.
152
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,952
That's a whole different
kind of speed dating.
153
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,996
- Yee, ay-oh.
- Ay.
154
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,707
So, what kind of fun
are you two up to tonight?
155
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,459
Mommy's getting an award.
156
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,921
What? What,
that's wonderful, honey.
157
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,131
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Well, I don't like to brag.
158
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,884
Huh, yes, you do.
What's the award?
159
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,594
It's an award from
160
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,095
- the work that she works at.
- Yep.
161
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,640
It's about how good her
work… She's a rising star.
162
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,891
Boop.
163
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,310
How very Dawn of you.
Okay.
164
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,187
Kids, go upstairs.
Get your backpacks.
165
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,690
All right, let's go. Chop, chop.
Let's go, Felix.
166
00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:42,528
Okay, come on,
Morris. Go upstairs.
167
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,029
Come on, Morris,
let's go pack.
168
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,698
- What's really going on here?
- Oh.
169
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,075
I have never seen a boy
170
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,953
turn up his nose
at a sports car calendar.
171
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,288
Does Felix not wanna hang out
with me anymore?
172
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:56,834
- No, no, no.
- That's not… Crazy talk.
173
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,337
What? He is upset that
he can't come to the gala.
174
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,506
Hmm. Why would you…
Yeah, poor guy.
175
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,299
There's a chocolate
fountain there.
176
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:07,094
- Ooh, a chocolate fountain?
- Yeah, a fountain.
177
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,596
Astrid, this sounds
like a big deal.
178
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,599
- Oh, it is.
- I bet I could whip up
179
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:15,561
- a chocolate fountain for Felix.
- Great! Amazing!
180
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,563
- Yeah.
- Not too much chocolate before bed.
181
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,606
Oh, don't be so woke, James.
182
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,067
All right, kids, come on!
Time to go! Now!
183
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,408
-We did it.
- Oh, yes we did.
184
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,535
- Now we're gonna do it.
- Yes, we are.
185
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,996
What, what are you doing
with your hands here?
186
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,747
Oh yeah, just that
my hands are a bit cold,
187
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,332
I know you hate that
so I'm warming them up.
188
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:38,876
Aw. Okay.
189
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,294
Ooh.
190
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,297
- How long is that gonna take?
- Ooh, just a few minutes
191
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,257
- if I squeeze real tight.
- Okay.
192
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,676
- Why we rushing?
- Huh.
193
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,511
We got the whole night, baby.
194
00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:52,973
We got the whole house
all to ourselves. Boop.
195
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,309
Yes, my sweet, we can have
sex in any room we want.
196
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,269
Obviously not the kids' rooms.
197
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,188
- Bathroom's filthy.
- Kitchen's weird.
198
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:01,273
- Probably just here then?
- Oh.
199
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,984
- Ex-squeeze us.
- Oh, the boudoir.
200
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,861
But you know what?
I've had a day at work.
201
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,280
- I would love to have a shower.
- Sure! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
202
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:11,158
Should I… join you
for said shower?
203
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,535
- I have to shave my legs.
- Okay. Should I shave?
204
00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,454
- No.
- Hmm.
205
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,789
- Haircut wouldn't hurt, though.
- What, like right now?
206
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,666
No. But soon.
207
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,835
Starting to look like
Scott Bakula again.
208
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:23,545
All right, I'm gonna
go freshen up.
209
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:26,632
- Okie doke.
- And then, we will sex.
210
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,550
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, were you, sorry.
211
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,385
I was going
to come in, but no.
212
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:31,887
Sorry. One, two, three.
213
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,557
Yoo-hoo.
214
00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:38,227
- And how was her shower?
- Rejuvenating.
215
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,645
- Oh.
- How are your hands?
216
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,271
Unseasonably warm.
217
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,982
- Okay, let's do this.
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,615
- Ignore it?
- Yeah.
219
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,164
It's a bit distracting, though.
220
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,087
Ooh, maybe someone
found my wallet.
221
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,800
It's Dawn.
222
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,303
Congratulations, rising star!
Mom called.
223
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:16,014
I'm so happy for you.
You never win awards!
224
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,141
Dawn, I gotta stop you.
The truth is…
225
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,352
It's very prestigious.
226
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,020
Oh. So,
who are you wearing?
227
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,897
Well, hopefully this guy.
228
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:25,232
Just kidding.
229
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,775
Probably something
that's not stained.
230
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:28,610
That's what I thought.
You deserve better
231
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,195
than wearing
the clothes you own,
232
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,155
which is why I brought this.
233
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,657
It's a designer dress.
234
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,618
Now, it'll probably be
very tight on you, Astrid,
235
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,829
so please, wear the control top
panties. There's Spanx in there.
236
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,206
- Thank you so much, Dawn.
- I also have a girdle in my car.
237
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:42,624
Careful. Okay.
I even have a corset.
238
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,877
It's silk, so it won't stretch.
It won't give!
239
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,629
- Who wants champagne?
- I'll get some glasses.
240
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,217
Should we have gotten
champagne flutes?
241
00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,511
- Uh-uh. This is fine.
- Okay.
242
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,263
Probably should've chilled
the champagne, though.
243
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,724
Hmm. Why did you keep
that lie going with Dawn?
244
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,851
Are you kidding? Did you see
how jealous she was?
245
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,436
I couldn't help
but rub it in her face.
246
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,021
Wait, but I thought
she was happy for you?
247
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,900
Did you, James?
Oh, sweet, sweet James.
248
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:11,612
No, no, she didn't blink once.
She was dying that I won.
249
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,323
It's a massive compliment
from her.
250
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,867
More compliment than I ever
see from the likes of you.
251
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,785
Uh, well, that is because,
my sweet,
252
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:21,622
you didn't actually win
any awards, unless of course,
253
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:24,416
you consider a night alone
with me.
254
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,753
We're home!
255
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,463
- Why?!
- Mom!
256
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:32,716
Oh, sorry! The chocolate
fountain was a bust.
257
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,176
Or more like a burst.
258
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,470
There's chocolate everywhere,
including their pj's.
259
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,847
So we just came in
to get some clean one…
260
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,849
Why aren't you dressed yet?
261
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:42,184
And my toy.
262
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,728
- Lots of reasons.
- Well, go get gussied up!
263
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,813
I wanna see my daughter ready
for her big night.
264
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:51,151
Me too. Me too!
Me too! Me too!
265
00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:52,736
What are we gonna do now,
James?
266
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,655
They're expecting to see us
all dressed up.
267
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:57,199
It's gonna be fine.
By the time we get dressed up,
268
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,534
they're gonna be ready to go.
269
00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:00,410
It's gonna all work out.
You'll see, you'll see.
270
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,037
Ugh!
271
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,249
: Raising kids meansdoing a lot of pretending.
272
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,960
: You pretend to be sadthat loud toy is missing.
273
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,379
You pretend the floor is lava,or that you're a dragon.
274
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,381
: Or you pretendthe planet
275
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,258
is not descending intoan age of calamity and chaos.
276
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,344
: Anyway, sometimes youpretend yourself into a corner,
277
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,388
and the only way outis more pretending.
278
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,224
Okay.
279
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,060
- Whatcha got there, James?
- Huh?
280
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,854
- Whatcha got there?
- For the thing.
281
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,272
To show your mom
so she can leave.
282
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,357
Okay, can you maybe put on
something a bit nicer
283
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,067
and a lot less the pants
that I hate?
284
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:35,404
It's my work gala, James.
I'm getting an award.
285
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,781
No, you're not!
286
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,157
Well, seems like my sister's
287
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,159
not the only one jealous
of my achievements.
288
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,370
Okay, let's just
quickly have a reminder
289
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,038
about what this is actually for.
290
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,749
- Right, yes, the sex.
- Yes.
291
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:50,085
- We need to have the sex.
- Yes, we're gonna get changed,
292
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:52,087
then we're gonna go downstairs,
and we're gonna say goodbye
293
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:53,964
to your mother and our kids.
294
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,465
The champagne
might be cold by then.
295
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,259
We're gonna have to have
a couple sips of champagne.
296
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,428
Then say goodbye to everyone.
Then come up here
297
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,347
- and get this thing done.
- Oh, don't say it like that.
298
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,849
Okay, yep,
we're gonna go downstairs,
299
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,142
we're gonna have
a couple sips of champagne,
300
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,560
then say goodbye to everybody,
301
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:10,314
and then do, make the marital
consummation time.
302
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,857
Stop, James.
You're ruining it.
303
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,692
- You're ruining it now.
- Blissful and erotic.
304
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,360
- I think you ruined it.
- Hmm, yeah.
305
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,070
Mom.
306
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:19,114
Oh, wow.
307
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:21,241
You look like
a princess, Mommy!
308
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:22,534
Thanks, babe.
309
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:25,078
And Daddy looks like
the boss at a factory.
310
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,955
Honestly, James,
311
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:29,583
- your pants are all wrinkled!
- Pre-wrinkled.
312
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,376
Gonna get wrinkled
in the car anyway.
313
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,921
So, I thought, might as well cut
out the middle man. Very smart.
314
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,130
Oh, that's ridiculous.
315
00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:36,548
Take your pants off
so I can iron them.
316
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:38,884
Mom, it's fine. We're not
going to the Oscars.
317
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,803
Yes, but who knows when or if
you'll ever win another award.
318
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,932
- Get your pants off, James.
- I don't like hearing this.
319
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,017
Yeah, but look,
what, did you sleep in these?
320
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,519
They're all smooshed.
321
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,145
It's what the kids
do nowadays.
322
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:51,980
You're not a kid.
It doesn't work.
323
00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:53,815
Mom, what is going on?
324
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:56,443
It doesn't look like
you guys are leaving.
325
00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,904
Well, my place is covered
in chocolate.
326
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,615
You guys have all the streamers.
And Felix went upstairs.
327
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,159
He really wants to paint
his models.
328
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:07,663
Maybe that's why
he was acting off.
329
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,248
Yep, that's, you nailed it.
That's totally it.
330
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,875
- Yeah. Man loves his models.
- Oh. Okay, I thought so.
331
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:14,336
Well, I guess there's,
there's nothing left
332
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,838
for us to do.
333
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,465
- But leave.
- Mm-hmm.
334
00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,968
- Well, have a great time.
- Uh…
335
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,345
And look, I have more
than enough caffeine pills
336
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,680
to drive home when you're back,
337
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,473
so don't rush home
on my account.
338
00:13:26,557 --> 00:13:28,851
Oh… we won't!
339
00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,018
Ha.
340
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:33,605
- Okay.
- Here we go.
341
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,948
Well, we got
four hours to kill.
342
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,241
Wanna see a movie?
343
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,787
- Or we could get a hotel room.
- Yeah?
344
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,372
This could be the greatest
thing that's ever happened
345
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,707
to us tonight, James.
346
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,792
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
When you're right, you're right!
347
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,502
Woo!
348
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:56,712
You know,
it's an impulsive buy,
349
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,213
but we're worth it.
Let's do it.
350
00:13:58,297 --> 00:13:59,882
- $600?
- For a hotel?
351
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,384
No, that's how much the
champagne Dawn bought us cost.
352
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,844
Wow, she really was
jealous of you.
353
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,346
- That rat!
- How much for a hotel room?
354
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:09,808
Oh yes, okay.
Hotel room is $500.
355
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,936
What? Why is it so expensive
to get a hotel on a weekend?
356
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,605
We're in Toronto, not…
357
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:19,610
I have no frame of reference.
We really need to travel more.
358
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,570
Is this really
where we're at, James?
359
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:25,991
We have to schedule sex, weeks,
months in advance?
360
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,660
Our sex life is like
going to the dentist.
361
00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:30,954
Can't we just do something
spontaneous anymore?
362
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,789
Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
363
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,791
We have a van.
364
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,460
Ew!
365
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,630
- I'm listening.
- I know a place
366
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,423
where we can go where we can
have a little privacy.
367
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:42,966
How do you know
about this place?
368
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,469
- Ennis.
- Oh, my God!
369
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,430
This keeps getting grosser.
That's disgusting, James.
370
00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:50,599
I'm still listening.
Where is the place?
371
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:53,268
It's in a parking lot
of an abandoned library.
372
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:56,146
This is like a plot
of a B-level horror movie
373
00:14:56,230 --> 00:14:58,941
where teenagers get murdered
by a ghost librarian.
374
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,776
Yep. But what were
the teenagers doing
375
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,444
before they were murdered?
376
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,280
Buckle up.
377
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,539
Oh! Well, I may never
wanna have sex again.
378
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:15,249
- Well, that's a bit much.
- Is it?
379
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,126
Our kids did this, James.
How did we get kids?
380
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:19,670
Sex. Sex did this.
381
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,590
Now what do we do?
382
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:39,064
Oh, hey! Look, my wallet.
383
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:41,942
Oh man, I can't believe I had
to cancel all these cards.
384
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,653
You know what? Look at this
and look at this.
385
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,990
Totally worth it. This is like
a backpack compared to this.
386
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:50,367
- It's so much better.
- Yeah. Hey!
387
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,995
My burrito punch card.
388
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,455
I only need one more burrito
to get a free burrito.
389
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,041
- This is a great day.
- Yeah, and it just got
390
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,877
even better because I think
I can tolerate doing it
391
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,295
in this level of filth.
392
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,130
Oh.
393
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,517
What?
394
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,728
Seriously?
395
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,772
Why would someone park next
to the only other…
396
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:25,277
- Hey, bang buddies.
- No.
397
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,904
- Absolutely not.
- Yeah.
398
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,363
Hey, we should sync up
a playlist.
399
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:29,489
Do you guys like
Keith Sweat?
400
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:30,574
Ennis, we can't both
401
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,825
be here at the same time.
402
00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,368
Yeah, and we were
here first, Ennis!
403
00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:34,995
Hey, you wouldn't even know
about this place
404
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,788
- if it wasn't for me.
- Oh yeah?
405
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:38,290
Well, if James
hadn't married me,
406
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:40,417
- you would have never met Zinnia.
- Okay, that's fair but--
407
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:42,377
James would be miserable.
Probably divorced,
408
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:44,296
working two jobs to pay alimony
and child support,
409
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,590
even though the kids are with
him like 90 percent of the time
410
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,009
and there's absolutely
no reason he should be paying as much as he does.
411
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,385
I'd probably still be
pregnant though
412
00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:52,888
'cause occupational hazard.
413
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,891
Ennis, please let us get it on
in this empty parking lot!
414
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:57,476
Okay, fine.
415
00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,145
But I'm not telling you any more
special, secret spots.
416
00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:02,064
What about that pho
place on Ossington?
417
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:03,649
Zinnia, geez!
418
00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:08,862
You okay?
419
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:12,115
No, I'm still sad
for non-Astrid James.
420
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,368
Yeah, you should be.
He gets an earring.
421
00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,537
- How?
- Stop worrying about him.
422
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,205
This is about this.
423
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,957
Wait.
424
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,335
What? What is that?
What is Ennis doing?
425
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:24,795
Okay, he,
he's checking his phone.
426
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,171
He's putting an address
in there.
427
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:33,387
Oh!
428
00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:37,850
- I give up.
- Same.
429
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:44,815
Well, fun night.
430
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,985
Yeah. Yeah. Fun night.
431
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,319
We got all dressed up
432
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,697
so we could wash our car
and eat one free burrito.
433
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,616
Ahem, maybe not fun
but spontaneous.
434
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,118
That's gotta count
for something.
435
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,787
Yeah. I just wish
we had one thing
436
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:01,957
that didn't have to be
scheduled, and I really,
437
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,585
really wish
that something was sex.
438
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,461
So we have to schedule sex.
439
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:09,715
At least we still wanna
have it. With each other.
440
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:12,634
- We sure do. Desperately.
- Yeah.
441
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,348
We should go soon before
my mom has to…
442
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,522
James, pack up.
443
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,774
- Hmm? I got a burrito, though.
- Now. Now, James.
444
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:28,942
But, what's the rush?
445
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,694
James, I know a place
we can have sex.
446
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,363
Why didn't you just
say that? Wait.
447
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,073
Your phone,
your phone, your phone.
448
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,242
: While you're makingsure the kids' needs are met,
449
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:39,244
you can easily ignore your own.
450
00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:41,496
: So, one of the bigchallenges of parenting
451
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,540
is finding the time.: To do it.
452
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:47,127
: Oh, oh, I, I was gonnasay take care of yourself
453
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:48,879
and connect with your partner.
454
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,255
: Well,what's a great way
455
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:51,632
to connect with your partner,James?
456
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,800
: Doin' it.: Heck yeah.
457
00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:02,726
Oh, he fell asleep
on your lap?
458
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,561
After Viv and Morris
went down,
459
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,688
he insisted he was ready
on watching a scary movie,
460
00:19:06,772 --> 00:19:08,732
but that didn't last long.
461
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,067
And here, I was worried
462
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,319
he was getting too big
to spend time with me.
463
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,820
Yeah, us too.
464
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,156
So, how was your big night?
465
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,700
Uh, it was really great.
466
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:20,869
Yeah. It um,
it was a perfect night
467
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:23,163
with a very,
very happy ending.
468
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:26,959
- Ta-da!
- Isn't that nice?
469
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,211
Kinda looks like one of Dawn's
old debate awards.
470
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:31,088
What? Mom, are you okay?
471
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:34,007
- You must be exhausted.
- No, no, I, I coulda sworn
472
00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:35,843
- it looks exactly--
- Hey, don't worry.
473
00:19:35,926 --> 00:19:37,386
I'll come by tomorrow.
I'll help you clean
474
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,346
the chocolate off your fridge.
It's literally everywhere.
475
00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:43,642
How do you know
it was on the fridge?
476
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,269
- James.
- Everywhere.
477
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,854
You said the chocolate
went everywhere.
478
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,981
And when I think…
I think fridge.
479
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:50,357
- Yeah.
- That's part of everywhere.
480
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,401
I guess I must be more tired
than I thought.
481
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,987
Good thing I had
those caffeine pills.
482
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,822
Text when you're home.
483
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,830
James, you have chocolate
on your butt.
484
00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:15,465
Okay um, well, of course,
I would love to thank
485
00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:18,302
my children, and my mother.
Thank you so much to--
486
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,012
- Other people.
- Um, okay.
487
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,848
Well, my sister, Dawn, for
lending me this beautiful dress.
488
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,017
And uh, my brother-in-law Bo,
489
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,476
who's always been so,
so supportive of me.
490
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,562
- Forgetting someone.
- Corey, of course, their kid.
491
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,273
- Um, also one very special man.
- Ah.
492
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:34,776
That I could not say another
word without thanking.
493
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:37,029
- Feel like I'm being set up.
- Leonard Flynn.
494
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,406
There it is.
And, I'm so sorry.
495
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,783
Oh, I know I'm forgetting
people. I have a whole,
496
00:20:41,867 --> 00:20:43,035
I should have
written something down.
497
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,162
Thank you so much
for this honour, yes.
498
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,956
- This way, it's this way.
- Oh, oh okay. Yeah, thank you.
38577
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