All language subtitles for Children.Ruin.Everything.S04E09.Emergencies.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Kitsune_track3_[eng]

- So, your husband ran away
48 hours ago

because his crochet business
got so successful

- he had a nervous breakdown?
Mm-hmm.

- Can you describe him?
- He...

Oh.

Uh, he um, he's very kind
and loving husband.

- You mean how he looks. Uh...
- Um...

- Uh...
- Beard. Hair.

- Like a French Zach Galifianakis.
- Mm-hmm.

He was wearing raw silk,
loose fit trousers,

one volcanic bead bracelet,

one teak and sandalwood
bead bracelet.

I'm sorry.

Dawn, we're here for you.

Everybody's focused
on bringing Bo back.

Mommy?

Can we get this for our house?

It's so good.

Dad's not working, Viv.

We have to buy the cheap stuff.

Hey, you guys
love Apple Joyce.

You mean juice?

No, it's, it's Joyce.

It's Joyce.

: When there's
an emergency,

you clear everything
else off your plate.

: Laundry,
finding a job,

seeing a dentist,
it all gets postponed.

: But you can't
postpone parenting.

Kids still need to eat
and be told not to skateboard in the house.

Anything else you can tell me
that might be of help?

Well, before Uncle Bo left,
he told me something.

: An emergency also

might be an opportunity
for a kid to step up.

Nah, it was something
about goji berries.

I forget.
Oh.

: Or not.

Oh God.

Bo!

My Bo-Bo.

- Can I interest you
in some Apple Joyce?

Uh, I'll stick to water, yeah.

It's um, my fuel,
friggin' um, my battery.

- Uh, uh so last time Bo had an
episode, he walked to Guelph.

- We're not here
to find Bo, James.

It's you we're looking for.

GoBo is still in the middle
of a major merger

- with Gero's Grocery.
You can't have a merger

without the founder
and president of GoBo.

Oh, Bo made it clear

that you are acting president
until he returns.

- It's time for the bear to eat
the, the friggin' uh, the deer.

- Yeah?
Mm-hmm.

- Are you doing Kendall Roy
from "Succession?"

Okay, James. Focus.

I need you to be present and to
sign the deal when it's done.

But you're gonna let me
do the talking.

I'm like a level 20 Dragonborn.

You're like a level 1 Paladin.

: Dragons right, yeah.
: Hello?

- James.
: Where are you?

- I need you to speak
at my negotiation.

As my confidante, you know

my most intimate
business thoughts.

If GoBo isn't safely
in family hands...

- I don't know what I might do.
Don't do anything.

I will speak for you
at the final negotiations.

What? You?

- It's a real crap storm
at the dang factory.

: Well, I won't be
in contact for the next third of the day.

In the meantime, please
reassure my beloved Dawn

that this present-day
furlough shant unfold like the previous interlude.

- He said he'd be
back in no time.

Bo called you?

He's handling business
instead of calling me?

- James, if you speak
to that deadbeat again,

you tell him
that Dawn needs him.

- Look at her!
No, please don't. I'm a mess.

Can I get you anything?

Should I find my own way
to the midwife appointment?

No, I can take you.

I guess I have to get used
to being a single parent.

Can you drive?

Uh, okay. Yep.

I'm so glad you both are here.

- Thank you.
- Yes, we love you, Dawn.

- We're gonna be here for you.
- 100%, we got you.

Of course.

- Well, I can't be there for her.
- We don't got anything.

Leonard's campaign is already
in the toilet because of me.

We're working long hours.
I barely see the kids as is.

I gotta handle a big merger.
That's gonna go late.

- Like, late, late.
- Who's gonna pick the kids up from school?

Who's gonna take care of them?

Morris' daycare is already
being fumigated.

My sister's completely
lost control.

Look at this charcuterie plate,
James. It's all grapes!

Um, we could, um...

I could take Morris to work
and then Felix walks Viv home

from school and then watches
her for a couple hours?

That's a 15 minute walk
across a very busy street.

- He, he's too young for that.
- I used to walk across

streets all the time.
I was younger than him.

You didn't live in a city.
They could be hit by a bus

or attacked by coywolves,
or kidnapped.

We live in Parkdale,
not a Liam Neeson movie.

This is one day only,
and he's a responsible kid.

We have to prep them.
Thoroughly.

So, we've been over
what route to take,

what to do
in case of fire, flood,

uh, duct cleaning scam,
and coywolf attack.

Yes, I will bring
Morris to work

because I never get
to see you, Moomoo.

Love you.
Yay!

Um, and I'll be home at 5:00.
Right?

You guys know the rules.

Yeah, yeah,
not too many snacks.

Not too much TV.
Don't use the oven.

Be nice to each other.
And don't answer the door.

If for any reason we have
to send someone to come get you,

they will have a secret family
safe word that only we know.

Now, what shall that word be?

Pee-poo-fart-butt.

Okay, no, not that.

Ooh, okay.
What about um, pickle spider?

No, it's worse
than pee-poo-fart-butt.

Are you imaging the body
is not a pickle or the legs?

- No, no, no.
- All of it's a pickle.

Okay, guys, guys, guys.

Here we go.

The family secret safe word,

that we will never have to use,
will be pee-poo-fart-butt.

Yes!

I think we're ready.
Pee-poo-fart-butt!

Pee-poo-fart-butt!

I don't think
it's that serious.

It is a little
serious, all right?

Oh look, Astrid showed up.

With a toddler.

Yeah, sorry, we had
a family emergency

and we've been too busy
to find childcare.

Yes, things are busy.

And why are they
so busy, Jean-Luc?

- Oh, uh, numbers.
- The numbers.

I was doing great here, but
then something happened here.

What was it?

- The hug incident.
- Yes, the hug incident.

- Oh!

: I'm not so scary,
am I?

Leonard, I didn't ask you
to hug the woman.

I was trying
to tell you to smile.

Well, we didn't work out
hand signals.

This could mean
literally anything.

We've got to focus, people.

Jean-Luc has a way of getting
us back in the game.

So, our main rival
is Charles Martin.

- Charles Martin.
- Who's a big supporter of little libraries.

The things people put on
their front yard to share books?

Except now we're gonna call
them... black market libraries,

'cause who knows
what they put in them?

Well, I do.

Pornography, razor blades,

books on how to do drugs better.

Is there not a more serious
bone to pick with Martin?

NIMBYism?
He's dead set against rezoning.

Boring! We're putting little
libraries in our crosshairs.

- Can you handle that, Astrid?
- Yes.

But um, actually,
I have to leave at 4:30 today.

PM? Ugh!

Yeah, right? Uh, hashtag
the cavalry, yeah? Here we go.

Why are you impersonating
a "Succession" character?

I don't know.
I thought it was helping.

I just wanna do a cool
business move.

You know, they're all doing cool
business moves on that show.

I hear you, man.
I need help, too.

Gero's is sending some
professional negotiation...

shark to chew my face off.

How's my hair, by the way?

- Does this look okay?
- Front.

Front. It's front and top.
Okay.

Sides.
Okay.

Oh. Hello?

James, I have mere moments
before everything goes dark.

: What's that mean?
Bo, where are you?

It doesn't matter.

Look, keep the conversation
off GoBo's valuation.

It may be a little high,

especially if they think
I won't be around.

Uh, yeah, you're gonna
be around, right, Bo?

Bo?

Bo? Bo? Bo? Bo?

Was that Bo?
N...

Did he have a message for me?

He said, "hi."

Hi?

That's our safe word.

Something's wrong.

Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, look at me.

He didn't have a message
for you. I'm so, so sorry.

Marla's here with
the Gero negotiation team.

I'll um, send them down.

"Hi" as a safe word?

Mine's "SpaghettiOs."

My kids picked
"pee-poo-fart-butt." - Oh.

James, Ennis,
uh, you remember Beth?

Holy frickin' reunion!

It's so nice to see you guys.

Uh, Beth is Gero's
main negotiator.

I know.
Crazy, right?

I tried to get out of it,
but whew,

those talks did not go well.

- Hmm.
- Huh.

♪ Yeah. Trendsetter, whoa ♪

♪ League of my own,
it don't get better, no ♪

♪ Read what I wrote,
I'm a best seller, yeah ♪

♪ Reach for my goals,
hit it dead centre... ♪♪

: When you have parents,
they stress you about useless stuff like dishes

and not watching movies
where guys get their heads chopped off.

: Heads get chopped
off all the time. It's normal.

:
Hey, finish your laundry.

:
Do your homework.

: Don't steal our chips.
: Flush the toilet.

Stop not flushing the toilet.

: Sometimes,
I just wanna chill.

Viv, hurry.
The sooner we get home,

the more screen time
we can have.

- I hate being wet.
- It's okay.

- Come on, it'll dry fast.
- No, it won't!

Okay, I'm counting down
from 100, and then I'm going.

- That's not enough time.
- 100, 99,

98, 97, 96, 95...

So, that was my first

and last time
on an electric unicycle.

That is a good story, Beth.
Wow.

Beth, I've never been
happy to see you.

- Happier.
- Happier to see you.

Uh, why don't we finish up
this deal and go consume food

- in each other's company?
- Doesn't that sound so natural?

Oh, stop.
I would love that.

Okay, I guess I should at least
pretend to do my job.

Okay, sure.
Fire away.

How exactly did you arrive

at this absurdly
generous valuation?

Uh...

You know, growth potential
and profitability.

Look,
I'm not trying to brag

but I grow zucchini
in my backyard.

You wouldn't believe
how fast these things mature.

One day, barely sprouts.

And then the next...
Boom! Full size.

Like the zucchini,
GoBo is done growing.

You're not worth anything
near what you're asking for.

Okay, yeah, enough,
uh, hokey pokey.

- No, no, we don't have to--
- Yeah, this friggin' deal

is so sexy it sets unrealistic
beauty standards in women,

causing depression
in friggin' teens, yeah?

So, Beth, the train is about
to leave the station.

Do we climb the beanstalk
or do you wanna be crying wolf

on the way to Grandma's house

with a burnt-up witch
and house full of candy?

Why isn't your founder Bo here?

I'm so sorry.

I have to cut this meeting
short. I have an emergency.

Can we talk about what
happened with Felix today?

We had a trial run.
We learned a lot.

- Tomorrow's gonna go perfect.
- He left Viv at school

and she had a meltdown.

Okay, he's not gonna
do that again.

And he just needs another
chance to step it up.

Ugh!

I feel like you're pushing
him to do something

he's not ready for so you can be
GoBo's saviour for a day.

What if it's not for a day?

I mean, you're making
decent money now

and we're spending every penny.

What if I was also
making decent money?

Ooh, brand name juice.

Viv's therapist.
The vacation.

I just think it's too much
for him to handle right now.

Just imagine, if you will,
we're both in a furniture store.

We see a furniture thing and
we say, "Oh, we can buy that."

I don't wanna buy that.
I don't like it.

- It doesn't go with the curtains.
- Why did you imagine furniture

that doesn't go
with the curtains?

'Cause I don't
like this store!

But, but--
Mom!

I hit my nose
on the mirror.

I'm gonna pick them up
from school.

I'm gonna take Morris again.
It's fine.

He called me
this morning. - Okay.

It was mostly business,
but he did say that he loved you

and that he was dedicating
all his time to family.

Dedicating? He's gone.

Corey is at boarding school.

It is just me and a baby bump
that is not even in my body!

Thank you, Zinnia.

James!

Get your sword and shield ready.
The dragon is here.

Okay, Beth is the dragon,
I assume?

I am the dragon!
You are the knight.

Ennis is the archer.
And Beth is the evil robot.

What a weird fight.

- James!
- Ah! Okay.

Look at my picture.

Hi, Astrid. Uh, did you get
pictures of little libraries

that look like they're brimming
with guns or knives?

No, I did not.

Huh, well
when the press get here,

I'll just have to use words
to slander the library.

Words, how poetic.

And if you follow me
this way, yeah, yeah,

just over here, we've got
coffee, water, cookies.

Anything you need.

Leonard, bringing the press
is a really bad idea.

I have no options.
I have to win them back, Astrid.

Are you gonna pat anyone
on the head today, Leonard?

Are you gonna shut up
talking today?

That's Leonard.

He said that to me in a context
that is both hilarious

and very respectful so, don't...

- Let me see your speech.
- There is no speech.

I took a Second City class.
I'll improv.

No. No, no, no, no.

Let's just, let's go over
talking points, okay?

I'll, I'll stay later.

Oh, you're gonna stay
'til what, 4:45? Hmm?

Moomoo!

Because we ended
so early yesterday,

I poured over GoBo's every
financial detail.

A suspicious amount of money
spent on smoothies.

- GoBo has Smoothie Tuesdays.
- And Thirsty Thursdays,

where you can get
any drink you want.

But most people want smoothies.
What of it, Beth?

Well, is the inflated price

so that Gero can pay for
your many treats and goodies?

Listen, Beth, I worked
at Gero's a long time.

We didn't have
Smoothie Tuesdays.

In fact, you tried
to replace us with AI.

And your CEO is in the news

for running over
dolphins with a yacht.

Yeah, what is up
with that, Beth?

I thought you loved animals?

I sponsor
three depressed horses,

and I do a baton routine
at Toronto's annual hawk

and falcon rehab fundraiser.
So, yes, I love animals.

Point is you've been
in a PR nightmare.

Meanwhile, here at GoBo,
we've been in the news.

- And in seven podcasts.
- And seven podcasts,

for being wonderful to people.
And to animals.

You're not
just buying GoBo's product,

you're buying our reputation.

Um, oh God.

- Okay.
- Another interruption?

- Unfortunately...
- Unfortunately,

we have another
interested buyer.

- What the frig?
- In fact, I think it's time

for me to maybe go pick them up
and introduce them to Joyce?

Cool business move.

And uh, any message
from the president?

Make sure you tell them
pee-poo-fart-butt.

You got it.

Of course, it's our preference
to close with Gero's.

Why are they so late?

It's gonna be okay.

Hey, what kinda cake do you
want for your birthday?

Hmm, I want the kinda cake
that has candy fall out of it.

Cool. So like, candy falls out
of it all the time?

No, when you cut it.

Oh. So, when you cut the cake,
candy falls out.

And then when you cut
the candy, cake falls out.

And then when you cut
the cake, candy falls out?

And it keeps going so you
have cake and candy forever.

Yeah.

Ooh, want me to teach you
how to snap your fingers?

Then you can snap at Dad.
Kinda like this.

Hey! Stop eating
my cake and candy.

So, you take these two fingers

and you push them together.
Yeah. Then you just push.

Nice.

Hello.

Thank you.

Thank you for that warm welcome.

Mama,
I wanna go outside.

I'm here to announce that
there is a fight brewing...

...between me, Leonard Flynn

and a topic that is tearing
the city apart.

And it's that,

that my hardworking staff
can't find daycare.

And I find that unacceptable.

Now, some of my opponents,
like Charles Martin,

wanna blab on about
little libraries.

But who really cares?

I wanna create more space
for childcare

so parents can get back to work.

I actually care about people.

I do.
So, that's why I want you--

Um, I don't like this.
Why am I here?

Well, you know, guy by himself
walking into a school

is a little bit creepy.

And this way,
we look like bonafide breeders,

- know what I mean?
- Okay.

Hi.
Hi.

- Can I help you?
- Yes, we are here

- to pick up young Phoenix.
- Felix.

- And Viv.
- Viv. Yeah.

Okay, um but there,
there are no students here.

What I meant to say
is uh, pee-poo-fart-butt.

That's a safe word
'cause they aren't our kids.

Yeah, we're not
really kid people.

- You know what I mean?
- No. This isn't even ours.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no.
We met at a bar.

Okay.
We need to go to the office.

- Oh, okay.
- Oh, okay.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

- SpaghettiOs.
- Huh?

- SpaghettiOs.
- SpaghettiOs.

Oh yeah, okay good.

Hey. Hey!

Okay, let's just...
: Hello?

Hey, James.
: Hey.

Yeah, your kids aren't
at school, man.

They're missing.
: What?! What?!

- Felix? Viv?
- Felix!

-Felix!
- Where were you guys?

- Viv was freaking out.
- Where is she?

Well, when no one came,
I took her home, like we planned yesterday.

Her shoes got wet on the way
home so, I'm drying them off.

Felix, I'm so proud of you.

Please do not microwave
your sister's shoes.

-Oh.
- You did real good, buddy.

: It's hard to know when
parents will stop freaking out.

Maybe because they never really
stop freaking--

: Knock it off!
You're not wise enough for the voice thing.

Team hug, everybody.

: Life brings
us emergencies.

Some are big.
Some just feel big.

: Sometimes you rise
to the occasion.

Sometimes you barely
make it through.

But when the crisis is over,

you can't go back
to how things were before.

Well, this is good.
I mean, now we know

that they can do this when
we need 'em too.

I don't want him to have
to take care of his sister,

and then get
his driver's license and then move out of our house.

He just tried to microwave
his sister's shoes.

I think he's still a kid.

All right, drinking at work.

Is this Brut or Cava?

- Where the hell were you?
- Oh, hey, hey, hey, just...

- Hey, do not touch me.
- I was just getting my drink.

- I'm so sorry.
- Apologies.

- Hi, wow.
- Hey... Bo.

I went temporarily...
to Switzerland.

After James reminded me

how much I miss my family,
I called Corey.

He was terribly homesick.

So, I went to pick him up.

Aw, that's so sweet.

Why didn't you tell anyone?

Oh, he swore me to secrecy.
He was embarrassed.

He's home now
and we're all together.

Mmm.

Hi.

Hey, Corey, how are ya?

Peace be with you.

- Yeah.
- Huh?

The Swiss boarding school was
more religious than we knew.

It's fine.

- It's fine.
- James, I'm taking a step back

from work to be with my family.

Would you consider
staying on at GoBo?

You got it, brother.

Yes.

Shall we pray?

Nah, it's fine.

Thank you, though.

So, it used to be a benefit
just for the falcons.

And then, all of a sudden,
they're roping in the hawks.

Like, call me a purist, and
you didn't hear this from me,

but the hawks
are doing just fine.

They've got benefactors,
seed money.

Gimme a break.

Seed money for actual seeds?

- And don't repeat this.
- To whom?

- Who would we tell?
- The hawks?

I want everybody to thrive,
don't get me wrong.

Sign, here it says name.

Here, I'll do this for you.

Oh wait, I'm not supposed
to sign anything.

Oh, is the person who does,

who, who does the...
That's not you?