Original subtitles

(Trascritto da TurboScribe. Aggiorna a Illimitato per rimuovere questo messaggio.) Hello, welcome to my lecture.

Welcome to my lecture.

Welcome to my lecture.

I am poor and I am hungry and

I need your love.

I'm gonna open you up, gonna break those

locks.

I'm gonna die if I don't get into

your heart box.

Got to find the love box, got to

get inside.

Got to get a hold of those tools

you try to hide.

Got to grab that love pearl, let me

have the key.

I've got to open up that love box,

so don't stop me.

I'll come to win your love and make

you mine.

I know if you surrender to me, it'll

all be fine.

I'm gonna open you up, gonna break those

locks.

I know I'll die if I don't get

into your love box.

I know I'll die if I don't get

into your love box.

How many people live in this city?

Eight or nine million?

How many tourists come here?

Foreign visitors?

A million?

Two?

Look at them.

Have you ever seen so many shapes, sizes

and colours?

They've only got one thing in common, all

of them, all of us.

Do you know what?

We're all looking for love.

There's so many permutations.

Everyone's got their own idea of love.

Fantastic how different those ideas are.

What's cool to some might be kinky to

others.

One man's dish is another man's leftovers.

Wow.

Me?

I can take it anyway.

With you, baby.

Anyway.

We never stop being hungry for it.

All our lives we go on looking for

love.

I'm gonna open you up, gonna break those

locks.

I'm gonna die if I don't get into

your love box.

I'm gonna die if I don't get into

your love box.

Hi.

Hi, Trace.

Hello, Trace.

Hi, boss man.

Good trip.

Yep.

Well, do we start a Paris edition next

week?

No, but soon, maybe.

OK, Rod.

Dax assumed you only just left.

Yes, a tycoon man.

Didn't you get the message?

Nobody told me.

Hi, Marge.

Hello, Trace.

Did you have a nice time?

Great.

Kids here behave themselves?

Lovely.

Good.

How'd you get on?

OK.

Why didn't you miss me?

I missed you.

Is this the last issue?

Yes.

How much advertising?

70%.

Oh, that's fine.

Fine.

Yes, the mail, Trace.

Thanks.

Running a magazine is hard work.

People don't realise.

I built up This Is Your Week From

Nothing.

It was just an entertainment guide a year

ago with a small circulation.

And then one day it really took off.

I got the idea from Rod, an artist,

a new style personal column called The Love

Box.

Young male virgin seeks older women to initiate

him.

I'd like to see what happens to this

kid.

Peter?

Yes, Mrs Simpson?

God, please call me Angela.

Yes, Mrs Simpson.

Angela, go upstairs.

How old are you, Peter?

16.

Well, that is old enough.

In fact, darling, I would say you're a

little bit overdue.

And take off your jacket.

And relax.

And a waistcoat.

Do all 16-year-olds wear waistcoats?

I don't know.

The buttons that go so far down.

Never ending.

Why don't you sit down, Peter?

Peter, wouldn't you like to kiss?

Kiss?

Yes, kiss.

Kiss.

Kiss, dear.

Kiss.

You know a caress Phillips.

All right, balls, dear.

What?

In the lids.

Oh.

Oh, do you play baits?

No, dear, I prefer other forms of indoor

sports.

Now, keep still.

I can't breathe.

All right, Peter, I will teach you how

to kiss.

First of all, you breathe in.

So, two, three.

And open your mouth.

Oh, two, three.

You may let the breath go out, Peter.

It's very good.

Now, a little bit closer, huh?

Now you stick your tongue out, huh?

It's not a very good colour, Peter.

Stick it back in a bit.

Oh, that's better.

Now, you gently go around.

So, all right.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Well, put it behind the line.

I see.

Oh, very good, Peter.

Close your eyes.

All right.

Yes.

Peter, when you kiss your girl, you take

your hand and put it here.

And she will take her hand and put

it there.

And then you will kiss her again.

You really must learn how to relax.

I'm going to give you a shower.

But I had a shower yesterday after football,

so I'm going to give you another shower.

What for?

All virgins need showers.

Come on.

Oh, no, no, Peter.

You must take your time.

Have to explore a bit first.

I thought we did all that when we

kissed.

Oh, well, yes, we did.

But you have to explore before you make

love.

Like this, Peter.

We're ready now.

Oh, yes, we're ready.

Oh, good.

Did you?

Do you have many answers to your thoughts,

Peter?

Quite a few.

Why did you choose me?

I thought you had a nice voice on

my telephone.

Oh.

Well, I'm glad you did, telephone.

So am I.

You think I'd better go.

All right, darling.

You will come again, won't you?

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Better get dressed.

Do you know where you are?

Well, I found my way in.

Yes.

Yes.

Well, virgins are certainly not what they used

to be.

Mrs. Harvey.

Who wants her?

Peter.

Second floor.

Thank you.

Well, coming.

Oh.

How?

Push the door.

Oh.

Mrs. Harvey.

Hello.

She's out.

Who?

My mother, Mrs. Harvey.

Oh.

I'm Miss Harvey.

Well, I'm sorry to have troubled you.

Well, it's all right.

I wanted to see what you look like.

What?

So, you're the virgin boy.

It's all right.

I know all about it.

I read her answer to your ad.

She said that...

She didn't say anything.

It's me who answered when you telephoned.

She's gone off with one of her fellows.

Torch horse racing, I think.

Well, thanks very much for wasting my time.

Very funny.

You're a real joker.

Hey.

Who said it was a joke?

Perhaps I want to initiate you.

You.

Why not?

My mother does it all the time.

Why shouldn't I?

What do you know about it?

What do you know about it?

No, no, no.

Not like that.

Like this.

Now, open your mouth.

Put your tongue out.

That's it.

Where's the bathroom?

Have you got a shower?

Going to take a shower.

No.

You won't.

Are you

glad you came?

Yes.

I wasn't sure I'd be able to.

Did you get a lot of answers to

your ad?

Quite a few.

Are you going to them all?

Well, that's up to you, isn't it?

I'd like to tear them all up.

Will you?

I'll get rid of them all.

I promise you.

Sometimes one side gets on top, sometimes the

other.

You get into a love situation.

You never know how you're going to get

out.

It's all a question of communication.

Whatever I want, there's someone somewhere who wants

to give it to me.

But how do I find them?

That's where the love box comes in.

In our personal columns, you can advertise for

whatever form of love suits you.

It's a genuine service, but I can't deny

we get a few kinks.

I usually see through them, but I don't

think our march digs them at all.

Young, married couple.

Seek.

Girl to make threesome.

Sort of au pair, I suppose.

Willing slave requires harsh mistress.

You do get some funny people.

Swedish student seeks interesting new position.

I suppose they must get bored, some of

these young foreign girls who come over here.

Sex kittens seek tomcat for playing games.

And I wonder whatever that can be.

Sex kittens?

Like that British at Bardo, I suppose.

They sound kinky.

Now, honestly, I can't imagine sometimes what happens

to the people who answer these.

I'm sure they don't know what they're getting

into off of them.

It must be somewhere around here.

Oh, yes, there it is.

Hmm, I wonder though.

Oh, I've come this far, may as well

chance it.

I bet it's a take-on.

Probably some terrible old tart and her sister.

At least it won't cost much.

Hello, tomcat.

Come right in.

Flat six, vacant floor.

You never can tell.

Sexy voice.

She could be a fifty-year-old fat

floozy.

If I don't like the look of whoever

answers, I'll pretend I'm from the gas company

or something.

Good morning, madam.

I understand the gas leak has been reported.

No.

Sorry to bother you.

Goodbye.

Right.

Let's have a go.

Well, hello.

I didn't expect anything like you.

You never know what to expect, do you?

I think you're gorgeous.

A super-sex kitten.

But, uh...

Yes, but what?

Excuse me.

I mean, please don't take offence.

Don't you like me?

Like you?

I could eat you.

Good.

But, uh...

There's a question I've got to ask you.

What do you want to ask me, silly

tomcat?

How much?

I mean, I know you're worth it, whatever

it is, but...

I don't think I have enough to pay.

Unless you can take a check.

What check?

Don't be silly.

There's no charge.

We're just going to play games with you.

Wait.

You mean there's two of you?

Well, she isn't exactly like me.

She's more beautiful.

Oh.

You are going to be a wonderful tomcat,

aren't you?

And wait till you see my friend.

She's a beautiful, sexy kitten.

Both of you.

Together?

Literally.

A big, strong tomcat like you.

Oh.

Wait here.

Don't worry, I'll wait.

I just still can't believe it.

I'm sure some big bastard's going to come

in, build me, and pinch my wallet.

Well, as long as I have it first,

I don't mind.

She's fantastic.

Look at this mirror.

And it's so dark in here.

Oh, there must be a ripe, kinky pair.

She's got to be kidding about the other

one.

It's too much.

I bet she's some fat, horrible, old cow

who's living off...

Hello.

Huh?

Isn't he lovely?

Oh, yes.

He wants to die by his mouth.

This is his tomcat.

Oh, lovely.

He wants us to play games with him.

To be little kittens, to lick him.

And he's got such beautiful eyes.

And lovely hair.

All soft and silky.

And cute.

Yes.

I point it in such a sexy manner.

Please let me kiss it.

No, I want to.

Look at these beautiful hands.

Well, let me see.

I can't stand when he touches me.

Oh, let me have a go.

Is that pretty news, haven't you?

Why?

Nobody's ever said that.

It's a lot of money in dirty movies,

but it's difficult to find male actors who

strip off.

It's funny, though.

Men are a lot more inhibited than women.

You'd think it would be the other way

around, wouldn't you?

I'll make sure we don't take this ad

again.

If they're going to use my customers as

film stars, then I want the agent's commission.

You do get some funny people writing to

us.

I thought one or two of these quite

sexy.

Never mind.

They might put Triss in the mood.

We don't get a lot of letters to

the editor.

We're not the times.

But we get a good selection, including quite

a few cookie ones.

Some people think we're a kind of sex

advisory service.

What does this guy think we're running a

male brothel?

Signed the fourth form at St. Anne's.

Your biology teaching you what you were up

to, you'd be in trouble, kids.

A lonely sailor.

You'll have to stay lonely, pal.

No, sir.

We do not know of any correspondence courses

on this subject.

Dear sir, we would like to thank your

magazine for helping us to lead richer and

fuller lives.

It was quite my chance that we were

introduced to This Is Your Week at one

of our Thursday Young Wives Club meetings.

Much nicer.

What do you think about it, darling?

It's all right.

Well, a friend, I'm glad you're there.

That must be a friend.

I wish we could get some more members.

Oh, this town's so boring.

I wish we'd never moved.

Well, perhaps we'll have a day up in

London soon.

The four of us.

You ought to see what I've got.

I've found it on the bus.

What is it?

It's a kind of London guide, you know,

all the cinemas and restaurants and so on.

Not much good to us, is it?

I don't know.

Why do you say the personal column?

Well, what about it?

Well, what about this?

Passionate young French student thinks affair with discreet

lady.

What about it, Shirley?

Fancy him.

Make a change for my old man, wouldn't

it?

Or this.

Housewives wanted for nude modelling.

What about it, Doreen?

Tell them about your varicose veins.

They might let you keep your slip on.

I wouldn't mind.

We were just saying how bored we were.

Except we'd never get away with it.

I don't know.

These are all in London, you know.

We were talking about coming up for a

time.

Well, there you are.

Take your pick.

Which one shall we answer?

You're kidding.

I'm not.

Well, you wouldn't, dear.

I might.

I bet you wouldn't.

I would if you did.

I'll get you some coffee.

Yes, if not.

I wouldn't mind having a go.

He'll let your bird accuse you.

Well, he wouldn't know, would he?

Oh, I think he's disgusting.

Well, don't be so hypocritical.

You're always moaning because Fred's too tired.

Well, it's the night work.

That's what he tells you.

I bet if the truth were known, all

our husbands have had affairs.

Never.

I'm sure Frank did.

Only once, though.

And I'm sure Harry's upping it off for

that secretary of his.

I don't mind all that much, and I

don't think it's very fair.

Men aren't tied down like we are.

Ooh, look at this one.

Shirley.

Young man, well-built.

Office services to ladies.

Yeah, we could all go.

You wouldn't dare.

None of you.

You know you wouldn't.

All right, let's see.

Got a pack of cards, Shirley.

Yeah, over there.

I'll do you until someone gets a queen.

Whoever that is has to answer the ad.

What about it?

You're mad.

All right, then.

I'll have a go.

I'm game.

Go on, then.

We've all got to be in it.

It's not fair otherwise.

I'd never know what to do.

From the sound of him, it'd soon show

you.

All right, then.

Don't know what my friend ought to say.

Oh, he might be pleased.

All right.

Well, you'd probably come back all hot and

special.

Stop it.

Oh, dear.

Come on up.

Bit nervous, eh?

No, no, not a bit.

You'll be all right.

On the pier.

Make yourself comfortable.

I won't keep you a minute.

Why don't you take your clothes off?

I know it all seemed a bit strange,

too quick, but in half an hour...